Safety is key. Unlocking my Ep10 thoughts. #Outlander

We experienced yet another powerful episode with The Deep Heart’s Core.  Season 4 just keeps my brain in gear which I am not sure is such a great thing cuz I think it might be getting warped from overuse. It certainly has refreshed all those years of human behaviour seminars I took back in the day.

I don’t exactly do recaps with my blog this season, I kind of pick something that stands out to me. You might be on the same wavelength I am (if that is the case, you may want to seek help because I am not sure that’s altogether healthy) and you will think to yourself…well OBVIOUSLY…in that case, I suppose I’m not as unique as my mother told me I was.

This episode was not a comfortable one. I don’t think it was written to be. In fact, I think it was meant to give you that feeling of discomfort. Of being unsettled and not feeling right in your own skin, like things were ready to fall apart at any time.

Let’s open with the conversation Bree had with her bio-Da about her rape.  That in itself shows us that Brianna feels a certain level of trust with Jamie now. She is asking for his help in processing the trauma she has experienced. She doesn’t need to give him names, dates or details to share her pain. Most victims can tell you that isn’t how it works. The things they need to let go of first are the could haves, would haves, should haves.  Shedding the blame, guilt and shame are critical to recovery. Survivors do this with people they feel safe with.

Jamie experienced these things himself.  He knows the process she has to go through. Claire took him through it.  He put himself in front of his daughter, angered her and brought forth her rage (as Claire had) in order to show her that no matter how hard she fought that sunnuvabitch Bonnet, he would have taken from her what he did and likely, she would have gotten herself killed in the process.  In the end, Bree wasn’t angry with Jamie for overpowering her, saying cruel and hurtful things to her – once she realized why he had done it. In fact, she felt safer with him. So safe that she reached further inside his heart and questioned him about his own experience with rape.

Jamie was raped by Jack Randall.  He didn’t fight either.  He didn’t fight because he gave his word in return for Claire’s life – which means at its core it was out of fear.  Fear for her.  That Jamie was able to share the truth of this with his daughter opened up a door to their relationship – in which Bree stormed through later on in the episode.

Let’s talk about that door now, why wait?  Bree found out Roger made his way to the ridge and subsequently, what happened to him. The Fraser Fury was unleashed like…well…a Fraser unleashes their fury.  There were a lot of words, a lot of confusion and amoung that,  Jamie misunderstood what Bree was saying and heard her say that she had sex with Roger then fought with him- he mistook those words and thought Brianna claimed she was raped by him in anger. Jamie’s Fraser Fury mixed with Brianna’s – as you can imagine, that went up like a bomb.

Bree lashed out, slapping him. Hard. He let her. Why do I believe he let her?  Jamie showed us earlier in the episode that he could stop her from hitting him if he chose to.  Do Bree’s words hurt Jamie? Of course they do but does he know they help her more by her saying them? Yes. Jamie opened that door to his daughter earlier in the episode. That she would feel safe enough to say or do anything to him and know that he would be there to love and care for her no matter what. It is also why he said nothing when she yelled at him that he wasn’t allowed to be angrier than she was.  Jamie heard her words and accepted them.  It is something many of us don’t do when we are angry because we are too busy giving that anger to others in the form of hurting them back.  Jamie had helped create that safe space for Brianna earlier in the episode, even though he screwed up when he lashed out with his words, he backed up and gave that safety net back to her instead of closing it off again.

Bree knows that Jamie loves her. She does love Jamie, otherwise, she wouldn’t even care enough to try to hurt him. She wouldn’t pull out the Frank card to make him hurt like she is hurting.  That is what many of us are guilty of, isn’t it?  When we are in so much pain that we want that person to feel it too? We try and cut them that deep. We go for the one thing we know will get them?  She points out Frank would never have said the things Jamie just said to her. Her statement is not baseless, Jamie did just accuse her of lying about being raped, it was ugly and it was hurtful.  She lashed out in her own ugly and hurtful way.  I am not saying this is the right way to fight with family, however, I see that it is the way a lot of families fight. Good, bad or ugly we can say and do things within those walls and know forgiveness is available to us.

Jamie is being a father more than ever at this moment by letting his daughter feel, process and allowing her to use him to do it. He knows what he did and what he said was hurtful. He is attempting to move forward and doing what he can to make it right. Like at the beginning of the episode, he knows it isn’t about his words, but his actions.  He isn’t begging her to forgive him because he knows forgiveness needs to be earned and she must go through the steps to get there.  All he can do is what he has promised and allow Brianna the time to meet him in the middle.

Plus, Brianna is pregnant. Here I am remembering what a shit show of emotions that was like WITHOUT adding in all of this craziness and confusion to it. My heart ached for her this episode. Stepping back and seeing it all from where she stands. Taking away all of the confusion and miscommunication and blame we can lay down. Purely the circumstance of what can be lost – Brianna – that she is still upright, is impressive.

I think the previous commentary answers the why of Brianna not telling Lizzie about that sunnuvabitch Bonnet and the rape. Why Brianna didn’t subsequently hold Lizzie responsible for Roger’s current circumstances.  Brianna feels like she is the one protecting Lizzie so it doesn’t occur to her to share that kind of pain with her.  Brianna wouldn’t feel confident Lizzie could handle that level of anger from her without it completely damaging the relationship they have.  Brianna doesn’t have the kind of relationship with Lizzie that screams: “I feel safe with you, I can be vulnerable with you.” We won’t expose our innermost thoughts to those people in our lives, we don’t see that it serves a purpose. Of course…hindsight…

The relationship between Jamie and Claire right now is something so quiet and reserved that I know I see it differently than many. I see it sitting in the “safe zone”.  Claire is being fiercely protective of Brianna in this episode which I completely understand.  She made the choice to come back to Jamie and in that, leaving her daughter. We have seen her struggle with that choice repeatedly over the last 2 seasons.  With Bree now in the past with them, Claire has been so intuned with her daughter, grief-stricken by her pain and riddled with guilt over Bree’s rape.

She and Jamie are becoming parents together for the first time. They are parenting an adult daughter that is dealing with some pretty heavy shit.  This is not a rainbows and unicorn little house on the prairie universe.  When the Fraser fury is released Claire goes to the Fraser that needs her comfort the most. Their daughter. Jamie knows it, Claire knows it.

Claire has a whole lot going on in the episode, yet she is pretty quiet. She is angry with the whole situation, you can see she is upset with herself for not telling Jamie about that sunnuvabitch Bonnet. The resignation when she places the ring on the table becomes a quiet communication between them. Jamie and Claire have been through many storms, arguments and this is yet another bump in their road. Like most committed couples, they will learn from one another and whatever circumstance they have created for themselves.  I was relieved to see Claire being fiercely protective of Brianna. This wasn’t against anyone, it was for her child. I think we can forget that sometimes, that we can be in someone’s corner and stand up for them but that doesn’t mean we are fighting or belittling others in order to do it.  The relationship Jamie and Claire have is one of mutual respect and love.  That is security, it means they have the ability to get angry, disagree and fight. All the while knowing they will come back to one another because their love and respect for one another are bigger than all the other stuff happening around them.

Roger Roger Roger.  I can’t let this one go without talking about Roger. Of course he doesn’t feel safe! Who the hell are we kidding?  The #PoorRoger hashtag is getting out of control. This guy is becoming the energizer bunny of Outlander, the punishment gets handed over to him…he takes it…puts it in his pocket…gives it a tap and says “All safe with me” and then extends his hand and says “Got anymore where that came from?”

#PoorRoger. See?  He is getting dragged around like a goat on a rope from the top of the episode. He has company though and shares a kinship with this fella, safety in companionship I suppose. He chats with him along the way, is his motivational coach and one morning, his companion – dead.  That’s uplifting.  Sure to bring Roger the glimmer of hope and keep him looking forward?

Not really but Roger brings us to the end of the episode facing the one thing that is absolutely certain to bring him back to safety. He can have a warm bath, a sane Scottish lass (I will hop on the #FIOGER ship) and you know, not getting recaptured by the Mohawk…all with one touch.

The question is will Roger feel safer in the future or in the arms of Brianna? I know what I want him to do! I guess his safety isn’t my first thought, does that make me a horrible person?

Thanks for reading, if you made it this far.

Sher ( founder of the ABOotlanders)

Please join us for our Live Tweeting as we watch on W Network at 8pm MST Sunday nights, using the hashtag #OutlanderCAN

 

 

Just because you can do it alone…doesn’t mean you should. S04E09 #Outlander

I am going to open this #TheBirdsandTheBees blog with a huge SIGH.

There. I feel better now I suggest all of you do the same.  Deep breath in…let that sucker out.  Feels better, doesn’t it?  Episode 409 was one that made us hold our breath more than once.  I want to talk about all the things that made me tear up…the things that made me rage and the things that made me just sigh with pure joy and happiness.  That isn’t what my blog has been about this season though and I shouldn’t change that now.

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This time for me, the loudest thing was the silence.  Bree’s silence, in particular, was deafening.

Like most of us, Brianna learned from those around her.  To protect those we care about, we deny them the truth and shoulder the burden of our secrets. Her mother and father both did this for her.  It is her natural go-to whether or not she understands it, almost like a reflex.

This young woman is so protective of those around her that she carries each worry on her own. She is taking such great care of Lizzie, that she holds onto the joy and heartbreak of her time with Roger. She keeps the subsequent violent rape at the hands of that sunnuva bastard piece of Bonnet to herself. Lizzie all but begs her to share her burdens but instead, Brianna holds them even tighter. Bree shows she is strong enough to weather any storm alone and as impressive as that might be, there is no reason for her to do it alone.

Ian retells the horrid story to Brianna, of how Bonnet attacked the family on the river and stole Claire’s ring. She takes note of this and puts this in her own personal file as “Reason 132 why I should heap more onto my breaking heart to protect my mother and Jamie and not think of how it will eventually affect me”.  Yes. Brianna, you are strong, you are mighty, you can handle all of the things, but should you?

We can see the toll that the secrets are taking on Brianna as the episode goes on (I would mention the meeting with her bio-da and reunion with her mama but I would just cry again and I have Bells-Palsy and my ugly cry is a butt-ugly cry so…no).  Bree is distracted, uninterested in things that would usually thrill her, flustered and easy to anger. All normal reactions that happen when we are holding onto something toxic, they poison us from the inside and start showing on the outside.  Claire notices, not just because she is in tune with her child but because it is like looking at a mirror.  Claire does exactly the same thing when she is hiding something, the behaviour is familiar to her.

How often do we walk through life saying “I can do it on my own.” “I don’t need help.” Or “I’m fine by myself, I’m good.”?  You know what?  We probably are.  It’s also probably hard and would be easier with help, it likely would feel better if we said “Sure, here…thank you.”, and simply allowed the person who offered to help, to do that, help. We struggle and we carry the heavy stuff all for…what? Who does it help? Who does it end up protecting? If we answer this question honestly we will often find out the answer is – no one. In fact, sometimes, it ends up hurting someone in one way or another.  We become so busy protecting people we lose focus on the important things. We become so involved in hiding our hurt that we fail to see the other things going on around us.

Brianna keeping the truth from Lizzie allowed her to create a story from the information she had. Something all of us do. We take visual cues and fill in the blanks, it is how the brain works. Brianna not telling anyone about the ring ensured no one knew who raped her. Leaving those doors open for further misunderstandings. Yes, Bree, you can do it alone – you definitely should not have. We all make mistakes, some repercussions cost more than others.

Jamie rounded out this picture for us at the end of the episode. He chose to go it alone. Demanding Lizzie not tell Claire or Brianna what was happening. Storming off to take care of who he thought was Brianna’s rapist.  Just because you CAN do it alone…doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

The proof is in the pudding with this one…the pudding being poor Rogers beautiful face.

We may be strong. We may be capable. We may be all of the things we think we should be.  We also are allowed to be tired. We are allowed to lean on people. We are allowed to accept help without shame or regret.  We never would tell a loved one they are weak for letting us help them, we would never tell a friend they couldn’t rely on us for a hug or an ear when they needed one – so someone please tell me why do we feel we are any different? Why should we be the exception?

I wish you the happiest of New Years.

 

With Love,

Sher (founder of the ABOotlanders)

Join us for Live tweeting while us Canadians watch on W Network Sunday nights at 8 pm MST.  Use the hashtag #OutlanderCAN so we can find you!

 

 

Outlander BedtimeStories. #Hubservations while I am his Audiobook

Our first round of Bedtimes stories started because of the initial Droughtlander and my husband’s inability to wait for anything. Like ANYTHING – when he knows the answer is right there.  I only have to tell him.  He really enjoyed the TV show & knew the books were out there – however not being a reader – there was a problem…unless he could get someone to read them to him. WELL GEE!

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I’d be THRILLED to…like really!

#BedtimeStories were born.  Sometimes I read and he is silent & enjoys. Sometimes, he is contemplative. Sometimes there are tears or laughter. Often…smart ass comments erupt from him. As I read “Jamie gingerly….blah de blah Claire blah.”  He pipes up with “Doesnt he do EVERYTHING gingerly?  Get it?”  Yeah MasterDad joker, I get it.

I stopped keeping my phone in my room at night around A Breath of Snow & Ashes so I haven’t tweeted his witty remarks as they come.  They are jotted down in a note book…maybe slightly illegible but we’ll wait till we are done reading Written in My Own Hearts Blood to do that shall we?

If you have NOT read the books. Stop reading now.  Hubbychilds comments are SPOILERS.  Not just little spoilers…BIG WHOPPING RUIN YOUR OUTLANDER EXPERIENCE SPOILERS!  If you havent read the books…and you read ANY further than this line. It is your own damn fault. You made a choice and it was probably the wrong one. So…with that being said, you are not allowed to leave comments or send me DMs scolding me for throwing spoilers out to the world.  Just because the cookies are there…didn’t mean you had to eat them.

The following hubservations are from Voyager on up to a piece of  A Breath of Snow & Ashes.  So again, I warn you. SPOILERS ARE AHEAD.  Can you tell someone has smacked my nose with a newspaper over this before? Uh-huh.

As we closed the pages of Dragonfly In Amber…my husband made an interesting observation.  For the record…Me…Diana…and Caitriona…and any other girl person in a Disney movie (thats fairly recent so it might be an age thing)

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This was more than a couple years ago now…so…the list is longer
We pick up somewhere in Voyager.

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Lover of the craziness. Explains a lot eh?

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Sometimes I wondered if he read ahead on me…and then…reality
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I wasn’t afraid of dreaming it…why should he be?

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Seriously.  I hate when he guesses right & I have to NOT yell it at him
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Its like Claires own version of Rock, paper, scissors. 

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Its a pretty specific Canadian reference there folks…them Newfoundlanders. LOVE.
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I only laughed because…it was funny.

You know…my sweet hubbychild has always been a little jealous of Jamie.  Calling him my boyfriend etc.  I have compiled some of his comments throughout storytime…enjoy.

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He really did say that…I was there. 

Lets take a look at what he thought during Drums of Authumn shall we?  

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He’s pretty???
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My husband was a chef in the military…he had 2 bears (different times &locations) jump onto his kitchen trailer…both times…he screamed like a girl and ran out the back door.  Like a smart man would. 
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Saying it might have got him a smack.

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Uh-huh…I’m SURE that is what he meant.  He didn’t. 

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The “Willies a lil snot” chronicles…by my husband

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I think he has a HUGE point here…HUGE…biggest point ever…not like any other point. 

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He’s a fan of dirty lady mouths…since you know…his wife has one. 
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This is the moment…everyone was yelling the same thing at Jamie…UGH. Men! 

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You may be able to tell…my husband doesn’t like it when people don’t communicate.  He notices a common theme with Claire. 

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At least he knows the character well enough to know…Drinking helps. A lot.

 

There is one character over all the others my husband feels bad for…its poor wee Rog. It sure entertains me to listen to him yak about him. And he has a face now. Richard Rankin…we adore you. We feel sorry for you…but we adore you. 

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I believe its an accurate assumption…don’t you???

 

I know you probably feel like meh…this is good. I read enough. I don’t need to hear her husbands ramblings any more…but…since I planned to write this all out…I’m doing it.  Feel free to bookmark this and come back later to finish up…

 

but I am powering through this!

 

We are at Fiery Cross…you know the one. No…let my hubbychild remind you. FC001

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Sometimes he says stuff that he KNOWS he is going to get smacked for…but yet…he continues.  Never letting fear or common sense stop him.

 

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Yes…all the characters get their own voice.  Im a method reader

 

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Jimbo=Jamie…in case you missed his disdain for his perceived perfection

 

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He is a dad…and over 40…its a part of their evolution apparently.

 

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I think it botherth him…tho I keep doing it.

 

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I am always like COME ON!  I didn’t pick up on half this shit when I read the 1st time

 

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Now you see why I like him…his mind lives in the same gutter as mine

 

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He loves the numerous back from the dead stories

 

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hashtag combustakid

 

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Things he asked that I don’t have the answers to.

 

Last…but not least we end with a bit of A Breath of Snow & Ashes.

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I think thats an appropriatly inappropriate spot to stop.

You gotta love the guy…

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Until next week…

I’m Sher…ABOotlanders Founder

He’s my Jamie but he thinks he’s my Frank. Oh the drama!

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Puzzle me this

Since  day one of Outlander discussions & arguements abound regarding Claire/Frank… Frank/Jamie…Jamie/Claire.  Why?  It is the human condition.  The urge to make others see what we see…wanting them to change their minds so they can see it like us.

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No matter how hard they look, they might never see it (source)

Let’s not expect people to see it HOW we see it. Instead, let’s share how or why we see it that way.  It is what we can do in order to understand others perceptions and beliefs.

We tend to grab peoples shoes and try to make them fit at all costs.  It’s going into ‘Anastasia and Drizella mode’ without even thinking about it.

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Grown-up like (source)

We see characters and situations through our personal filter of experiences and the people in our lives. It’s easy to see why others do the same.  It stood out the most to me when my husband had a difference of opinion on the Jamie/Frank topic.  We generally agree on things, having been together for so long, many of our experiences & people are shared…this time…not so much.

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Not this time…nope!

My husband and I have been married for 25 yrs, together for 31.  For 23 of those 31 years, I have been an Outlander fan.  The stories and the characters have long been with me…him, let’s say- no. He would often tease me about my book boyfriend, Jaaaaaaaamie.

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It might be funny…cuz it’s true (source)

Fast forward to my husband starting to watch the show with me.  He finally “got” why I loved the Jamie character – though, he still teases. He also would mention often how he really felt bad for Frank.  A character, who in the books, personally gave me a case of the “mehs”.  He made a comment during “All Debts Paid” that caught my attention “Frank never had a chance…the husband got the shaft there.” The husband…LIGHTBULB moment.

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Not. A. Chance. (source)

It makes sense, doesn’t it?  My husband – my first husband (depending on how well he plays his cards, the last) feels empathy for another first husband.  He sees himself in this role…not the Jamie role that “I” see him in.  Even though Jamie was the other man … I saw him as the only one.  To me, the Claire/Jamie love was palatable…the love between Frank & Claire, I saw as stiff and awkward.   I don’t fool myself into thinking that isn’t because of my own perception of what professors are like.  We all do it in one way or another.  My husband…relates far more to Frank.  He sees himself as  1) The husband 2) not the super hot Scottish warrior. In my eyes…ok, not Scottish but a hot warrior for sure. *He rolls his eyes at this*

There are so many variables. Pigeon hole-ing ourselves to one view lacks variety.  Being able to see the picture through other filters can be something that will expand our thoughts.  It doesn’t mean we have to agree – understanding another view is equally as valuable. It can cut the legs off of the animosity felt for the other person seen as “not getting it”.

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Oooooooooh! I get it! (source)

Until Next time, Enjoy the #Outlanerd in you & we will to!

Sher AKA Sherry AKA SherryLynn AKA Hey You!

Founder of the @ABOotlandersOutlanerds

The Effects of DroughtLander

Did I even know what that simple wee phrase “Droughtlander” would grow into the first time I used it in this meme all those years ago? That’s a hard no…droughtlander

I didn’t have a clue that everyone and their dog would be using it to describe the time between seasons of our favourite show Outlander.  I can thank Diana Gabaldon for posting that particular blog on her facebook page and sending it into Outlander history.  That link has since died because our group, previously known as the Heughliots, found our own identity as the ABOotlanders so you can read it HERE at its relocated addy.

The interesting thing about a drought is the impact it has on the environment around it. In the case of #Droughtlander…the impact largely falls on the fandom.

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Us ABOotlanders are a hearty bunch.  During Droughtlander we get by on help from our neighbours. We share our resources.  This includes talking about the days of all the Outlander, reading about the Outlander and how plentiful and fantastic the Outlander days were. Yes…and how we know that one day the Outlander will return.  We find it immensely therapeutic.

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Alas, there are the people who are crawling across the droughtlander fields gasping for breath, ridden with anxiety & depression because the Outlander hasn’t touched their lips for too long.  They can’t see the Outlander in the forecast & will do anything to make the oasis a reality in their every day…except instead of embracing the good they are allowing the drought to blur their vision of the good it started as. Instead of remembering the things they love they are focusing on things like the bad taste the lack of Outlander has left in their mouth.

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Droughts cause migration…migration of people to other things.  This is normal…when the Outlander comes back – so will the people and so will more.  Some people might not come back and that’s o.k.  Making their life with another fascination or love.  That has nothing to do with the drought itself but the way they chose to deal with it, their choice isn’t wrong. It is what is best for them.

You know droughts also cause wildfires? All you have to do is take a peek behind the curtain of this fandom to see that.  The small flames of discontent are there but unless individuals fan those flames they will never catch & become a disaster. When a spark comes your way, put it out.  How do you do that? Don’t respond.  Don’t blow on it, don’t give it the air it needs to grow. Yes, it is that simple.

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Most droughts don’t have that surety of ending, ours does. Droughtlander never lasts forever but the things we say & do during the drought does.  If we seek out the cracks, we will fall through them.  If we seek out the light, we will feel the warmth.

Let’s do our very best to keep our faces to the sun. That means our heads are tipped back enjoying a bevy.  As spoken before…the true remedy for #Droughtlander. (this could be the reason my liver is now broken – sad story, eh?)

amen

Sher

ABOotlander Founder & Lover of all things happy!

 

 

Sex & Intimacy. My version of O-Lander

Let me start with saying everyone is entitled to their opinion. I believe our opinions are just that. Our perceptions. We all have them and they will all be different. I do not expect nor want everyone to agree with me, however, respect my right to say what I perceive…as I respect all of yours. 

One of the biggest discussions in the world of Outlander this season was the sex…or there lack of.  Many say “We didn’t see the love.”  “We were robbed of what makes Jamie & Claire…Jamie & Claire.”  “The love would never last 20 yrs if they don’t connect!”

Believe it or not, I have made a living talking about sex & intimacy in life & relationships. That is what I want to do now.  Class is in session.

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Listen up!

Romantic relationships need TWO things to survive. Intimacy & Communication.  I didn’t say sex because sex is a product of these 2 categories.  Without intimacy, there likely will be no sex. Without communication, we likely won’t choose to have sex.

Let’s first keep in mind that Outlander the TV Show is that. The TV show, not a play by play of the book.  Conveying intimacy is something they can do in the show and it will turn out to have more meaning. The depth of talent that Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe have, means they are able to delve into that. Deeply.  Skin & sweating does not equal love & commitment. No matter how much we want to “see” it.

To reference being robbed, denied or missing something. These were never there in the first place.  What I mean by that is Outlander the TV Show has never existed before it did. 

But we read the books! Yes, I know, so did I…repeatedly.  This does not mean the TV show has been ‘built’.

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These are both dogs. Definitely NOT the same thing.  Outlander, the show & the books. Like these two puppies right here.

If the argument is “They gave us all the sex in season one and took it away in season two.” I do see your point. I would like to reference that season 2 was a different relationship, a different set of circumstances and frankly, a different show with the same title. It wasn’t a bait & switch, it was an evolution. The evolution of a marriage. Those of us blessed  enough to have found a deep love have likely experienced something similar ourselves. Change happens & it’s not always comfortable.

Season 1 was an exploration of a building romantic relationship, which is undeniable more passionate. That, for visual purposes, should be seen to some degree.  Each sex scene in Season 1 had a purpose. The wedding. Each scene was given in stages.  First newness/awkwardness, passion/exploration & then falling in love.  The scene in which they were having sex away from the group, distraction. The scene in which they have sex after the spanking scene, is not only forgiveness but also ferocity. 

Season 2 was a marriage. The people in the marriage had been through a huge trauma. Jamie’s rape along with the fight to keep him alive was one that could have easily broken a marriage apart. In the start of the season we saw that.  Sure, it might have been nice to see a little skin here and there, however, it wouldn’t have made a lot of sense.

Those who are dealing with a physical trauma such as the one portrayed in the show, more often than not, lack the desire a) to perform b) have someone THAT close. No matter how much you love & trust them.  It isn’t about the partner, it is about the victim and their ability to process.  When a sexual assault happens, very often the victim is loathe to put themselves back in that vulnerable position … especially when they are still emotionally coping with the trauma.

The beautiful thing we love about the visual exploration of these books should be the writers ability to see that the human experience will need to over rule the labido.  

What we saw a GREAT deal of in season two was intimacy.  I am not referring to the fade to black or the scene in the blue room. I am referring to the looks, touches and conversations/arguments that took place.  It is in these moments that our characters become the lovers that can not bare to lose one another.

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The ability to fight.  Jamie & Claire did that. Expressing anger can be quite a passionate act between partners.  It encourages us to say what is on our mind, it encourages us to not only say but show with emotion what our true feelings are.  An example is when Jamie was upset with Claire for working at L’Hôpital des Anges.  The argument was a conduit for deeper understanding which creates intimacy, which creates a deeper bond. Even when our partners say & do irrational things it causes us to think of the deeper issues. Disagreements tend to open lines of communication which in turn leads us to healthier relationships.

Another tragedy befalls Claire & Jamie.  It is the loss of a child.  Hurt, anger, pain -both physical & emotional will cause a rift in any relationship. What truly matters is the bridge back to one another and crossing it together. For when they do…it cements the relationship into something more permanent. Something that could span lifetimes.

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Loss + Forgiveness + Love = Solid Love Lessons

There was a WHOLE LOTTA story to tell in 13 episodes.  We need to speak of the actors commitment to their characters.  Caitriona Balfe & Sam Heughan have said they will not do gratuitous love scenes for the sake of them.  They understand they are telling a story and that the scenes, whether sexual or violent in nature will not be over done.  That is something I am personally grateful for.   It is when shows start throwing in ass shots for the sake of ass shots that they lose credibility.  Honestly, we know that Claire & Jamie are having sex.  Like any other married/loving couple…but we don’t have to see them do it to know they are. It’s like bathing…we really don’t have to see the act, the flies aren’t gathering so we get it.

Conveying the depth of their relationship is more important to the story than sexytime.  

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I would encourage folks to examine logistics of the end of the season as well.  Cold, hungry, weary and focused on changing the future.  Having sex for the sake of having sex isn’t exactly what any sane couple would do under the circumstances.  There is no doubt in my mind that they were, as their intimacy & connection showed greatly in those episodes, however, it was probably pretty un-sexy & the telling of that story was far more important.

The sex at the stones was much like the sex in the book. Fast…intense…and final. That kind of sex is never like a movie, its more like a punch in the stomach. Which I believe they captured perfectly.

I would love to end my view on the sexual world of Outlander. O-Lander if you please. Some of the most intense and intimate moments in books…don’t involve “sex” at all.   *cough* Get ready for the print shop folks. *cough* 

Too skip even further ahead to what I believe to be one of the most intimate scenes in all of Diana’s books…the final passage of  The Fiery Cross.

**Book Spoiler—if you haven’t read to this point in TFC, it is up to you to continue**

FYI-   Fun/Heartwarming Trivia —Diana Gabaldons husband is the one who uttered the final line of this particular passage. It is a testament of a well balanced marriage.  Translated to Claire & Jamie, we have watched the start of it & will continue to enjoy it.

“I sat down beside him, close, my hand on his leg, and his hand on mine. We sat thus for a bit, side by side, watching the rain clouds roll in over the river, like a threat of distant war.  And I thought that whether it was choice or no choice, it might be that it came to the same thing in the end.

   Jamie’s hand lay still on mine.  It tightened a little, and I glances at him, but his eyes were still fixed somewhere past the dooryard; past the mountains, and the distant clouds.  His grip tightened further, and I felt the edges of my ring press into my flesh.

   “When the day shall come, that we do part,” he said softly, and turned to look at me, “if my last words are not ‘I love you’–ye’ll ken it was because I dinna have time.”

2006

SherryLynn

@ABOotlanders Founder

Outlander Episode 3 – Heartstones , amiright?

Still taking a detour from the blog bursts that look like recaps.  I feel there are enough ppl doing those now that, well, even doing it Canadian style with bacon isn’t different enough.

Episode 3 of Outlander was full of…Oooooh’s , awwwww’s & Snorts so I finger I will just talk about those with you.  Heartstones is something us ABOotlanders are not short of.  We are a bunch of sulks (I say that because I am…and I do not like being lonely).

Heart STONES are those things in your heart that when they are hit, they send you back in time, memories.  I believe that is why we are so connected to Outlander.  It isn’t just our own created memories but those Diana Gabaldon authored when we read the books for the first time.  How many times have we seen comments telling new readers how jealous we are because they get to experience that first time feeling?  Its a nostalgia we connect to from remembering our “first time”.  It really is a better “first time” than the other first time… that’s rarely enjoyable.

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Aaaaanyway.  That’s how I now feel when I watch the show. It’s like a new read.  I recognize it, it’s familiar…yet it is different so I get a new thrill from it.  It’s not about if I like the changes, only that they exist and create new heart stones for me and my friends to travel through together.

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Heartstones being created

The name of the episode is “Useful Occupations & Deceptions”.  We don’t have to reach to far to guess what this is all about so lets get right to it.

OOOOOH’s , AAAAAW’s N Snort’s of Episode 3… Our HeartStones…

Aaaaaw #1 -This came when Claire shoved Jamie’s wigman away so she could do up his vest instead.  I mean, that was a “Why are YOU doing this, I am sitting right here.” jealous wife move and I loved it.  You can’t blame a girl…husband out at brothels- oh wait…one brothel (but remember, its fancy…it’s got dildos), drinking his face off with the guys, coming in reeking of smoke n whores.  Yep, I would probably feel the need to exert ownership. You can tell the scheme of these moves is to show…she misses him.

Snort #1– The first laugh of the show for me was Jamie’s wee SAWNY going missing.  So what you are saying Jamie is…lostsnake

This could just be because my brain has a disorder. Its called ‘inthegutteria’. It’s catching. You might have it now. If not, you may not find me near as entertaining as I do.

Snort #2– Louise. Sweet Louise! She MADE the interaction with Mary & Claire go to another level of giggles.  Her SHOCK at the accusations Mary made about men and their things…was…snortworthy.1cohno

Ooooooh #1 – Claire realizing who the truck Mary Hawkins was! 1emaryhawkins

For our Frank lovers…they got another peekaboo at him and Claire finally put the puzzle of where she had heard the name before!  You could see she wasn’t particularly thrilled.  I heard a few people say “She didn’t seem to care when BJR was dead so Frank was before…but now she is all worried about him?!”  Let’s look at it this way – When Claire found out that BJR was dead, she was in the midst of taking care of Jamie, making sure he didn’t die.  Once she did that…it’s kinda late to be thinking about saving Frank.  Pragmatic is one way I would describe Claire, I can’t see her dwelling on something she knew she couldn’t change. HOWEVER, once there is something she thinks she can fix or change…ummm…dog with bone sound about right to us?

Oooh, Awww N Snort – 3 for the price of oneMurtagh getting some lovin! #Suzagh! Sounds like a great clan call…for tail.  There was a couple of things about Claire walking in on her ladies maid, Suzette (zee lov-a-lee Adrienne-Marie Zitt)  and her husbands Dudley do right-hand man.  1…Claires expression of shock. Now, was it shock that she caught them doin’ it? Was it shock that Murtagh was getting more action than her? Was it shock that Murtagh could be ungrumbly long enough for a woman to want to get jiggy with him?  I think it could have been any or all of those reasons.  2. The fact that she hasn’t got lucky in so long she didn’t recognize the sounds of two people gettin jiggy w’it.

The surprise coupling of the 2 characters gives Murtagh a lil more zip & brings the staff in the house to “human” mode., not just following picking up after everyone.  #Suzagh all the way!

Oooh #2 SNAP!  Claire done looses it on Murtagh because he reminded her that she isn’t getting any.  That face…says it all.snappy

After her poop ungroups, she tells him that BJR is alive & the deception duo is born.  For now – by the end of the show Murtagh has his kilt in a wad because she didn’t tell him.

Snort #4–  That Duverney dude is funny. Not just his wig either.  Telling Jamie while playing chest he was going “get him” and that he gave him permission to respect him less.  See in my world, those are are things I would say to Jamie too…maybe not playing chess…but playing- chest? See…I find things entertaining because I make them up in my head sometimes.

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He has this way of wrapping scenes around his fingers…and getting wanna be Kings to kiss his fingers.  Knowing this guy, I sure as heck would NOT be putting my mouth around his digits…I see where he goes with those!

Oooh #4The Comte.  That is all. I need not say more.

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I mean. Really. The Comte St.GermayIhavesomemore?

Awww #2– Master Raymond plays Ann Landers. Claire doesn’t really ask for advice but Raymond gives it.  Stop pouting about being bored lady and go do what you like doing. Lancing boils & sticking your fingers in puss n guts! Its nice to see someone looking out for her isn’t it?tumblr_mdvrqbfyca1ruaozy2

Snort #5 is a loooong giggle. “Claire goes to the Hospital”.  We could write a childrens book about this you know.  The look on Mother Hildegardes face when this “lady” came and said she wanted to use her medical knowledge and help. “Ummm, go dump a bedpan ‘lady’. See you never.”  Claire doubles up the back bone and not only empties bed pans but starts drinking them. That will show her!

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Ok…she wasn’t drinking out of the bedpans…but she was taste testing them.  Which baboom…makes Momma Hilde take notice and decide “Hmmmm, if she likes urine, she’s gonna love it here…let’s keep her.”  And BOUTON! Well…yeah…somehow we all have fallen in love with the little hairball. It sure helps when you remember loving Bouton of the books. Its not about the dog they got so much as it is about that they got a Bouton!

The scene with the nasty puss filled groin splinter (ummm branch not splinter) was spot on. Freaking LOVED the moment Bouton showed his talents & at the same time helped Claire get in good with the big nun on campus.

Awww #4– #WeeFergus .  Like we didn’t get to meet enough awesomeness in this episode but then we get the lil bandit too. It was a smorgasbord of characters being brought to life. I had the constant “awwww head tippy” going on the whole fricken episode.

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All these feels in the awww spot

I loved the introduction to Jamie…something we only got a  quick description in the book about how the wee gommrel came to be in their world.  This gave it the character development that the TV character deserved to have.

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’tis a delight to meet you!

I loved how he called Jamie dirty names and tried to blackmail him and Jamie’s reaction…I wanted to squeeze both their cheeks! Throughout the episode Fergus (played by Romann Berrux) displays the all the charm of a small gentleman while being the brothelbabe he was.  “Hey, girls love it when I sing the praises of their corset fillers.”  It’s not hard to tell that like Fergus from the book – TV Fergus is going to have us all wrapped around his bitty doigt.

The best move Jamie had this episode? Hiring a pickpocket.

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You did the right thing…for interesting reasons.

Awwww #5 – This awww is more of a “Awwww muffin!” awwww than an “Awwww so cute”  awww though.  Jamie was having a party and we were invited.  It was a pity party. Now why oh why wasn’t his wife home to greet him? Pout, sulk, grumble grumble and snark. Once folks showed up for his party he lashed out on them.  Jamie is kinda a bad event planner in that respect.  We came away with it being all about Jamie – if he is going to be a miserable sulk, then why shouldn’t he share that?  Because it sucks Jamie…it sucks.

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Pity Parties are not as fun alone

We know why you’re a pouty pants, but we aren’t enjoying it.  You need a lil lovin…that will fix everything. As long as it is with your wife…those brothelbabes…not so much.

Snort #6–  You know Jamie was going to have to swallow his pride at some point. Watching him do it with Mama Hildegard was a good move. Her being a musical savant and all that.  Her view of her friend Bach was less than flattering though wasn’t it? Clever but no heart. Without him, they wouldn’t have figured out the code to the letters Fergus our boy was stealing though!

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WhooHoo…so clever

All the emotions of episode 3 and we wrap it all up in a happy little ball of “relief, happiness, guilt & disappointment. Relief because they believe they figured out who was promising BPC money for this campaign. Happiness because Jamie was happy for a moment. Guilt by Claire because she STILL hasn’t told Jamie BJR is alive. Disappointment in Claire by Murtagh because she didn’t tell Jamie BJR is alive.

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Perfect way to  tie that bow up and be ready for Episode 4.

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