Fan accounts like Outlandish Scotland keep us going through Droughtlander with daily meme postings celebrating birthdays, characters, themes. This account also created the special brand of books to help Outlander fans tour Scotland in all its glory. It might be hard to believe that it isn’t a whole troop of people behind this account, it’s a person. The one responsible for this one is Chas. When I invited her to join the LOVELANDER project I had no idea what to expect. She surprised me.
Chas AKA Charly lives in Nebraskan farm country with her 4 cats (or as she likes Katz), a cottage built 130 yrs ago is their home. On the property she has created a space where her companions can enjoy outside without fear of the coyotes getting after them, with their own Kat Habitat. There is the ‘Big House’, about 100 yrs old, for guests to lay their weary heads. Thus, yes, you can rest assured, Chas’s humble abode is known as the “Little House”.
Chas’s 64 yrs have been full ones. From what she has shared with me, her life has been abundant with adventures of the stage, as an actress. The medical world, as an EMT and Emergency Medicine Consultation for trials. That in itself is exciting stuff. She has given back to those who need some love in their lives by bringing her cats to care homes. Chas has brought her love of fiction to become an author of travel guides based on well loved books. We of course, can not forget the Outlander giver she is today.
I didn’t know too much about Chas before I invited her to be a part of The LOVELANDER Project but like her tour books (which you will hear more about) there is lots to know, let’s get started shall we?
Us fans, all have what I refer to as, our ‘Outlander love story’, what is yours? I discovered the world of Outlander sometime in 1993, when the first 3 novels were available. Of course, I was hooked within a few chapters of the first book. The number of my favourite genres encompassed was a huge attraction for me: romance, science fiction/fantasy, adventure, and history. I think it was Diana Gabaldon’s writing style that most appealed to me. Her characters, situations, reactions and dialogue, were so realistic that it was easy to believe in time travel, easy to believe whatever she wrote. Plus, everything I read just stuck with me. I never tried to “memorize” the history, but I did.
For Instance, in 2003 I was on a bus & boat tour of Loch Ness. It was one of Tony Harmsworth’s original tours, before he founded Inverness Tours http://www.invernesstours.com, the company he sold to Hugh Allison in 2006 and our favourite Outlander tour company. About halfway through the bus bit, the driver/guide began quizzing folks about the Jacobite rebellion and Bonnie Prince Charlie. I’d wait for someone else to provide an answer, which they rarely did, then just before Allison resumed, I’d chime in with the answer. Later she pulled me aside and asked why I was so well-versed in the history of the ’45, and how I’d known that BPC was born (and died) in Rome. She’d never heard of Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander, but I think she might have investigated the novels after the tour. I hope Allison became an Outlanderite! *laugh*
How did you react when you heard Outlander was being made into a TV series? As for my personal reaction to learning about the STARZ TV project: SOOOOOOO happy! Especially when I learned that Ron Moore was at the helm. Having thoroughly appreciated and enjoyed his Battlestar Galactica series, I knew that Outlander was in extremely capable hands. When I learned that Diana Gabaldon would be respected by all involved, and encouraged to participate, I had no worries about the quality of the show.
You have written and published a book about traveling through Scotland and hitting all the Outlander sites. An interesting and entertaining read, btw! Can you share with us how this all came about for you? I came up with the idea of “A Novel Holiday” travel guidebooks sometime around 2008, when I completely retired from Emergency Medicine. I stopped working the streets in 1998, after 18 years as a paramedic, but continued EMS writing & teaching until 2008.
My idea was to create travel guidebooks based on places mentioned in people’s favourite novels and their associated film sites. The plan was for me to start the collection by writing travel guidebooks for MY favourite novels/films, and later encourage OTHERS to write travel guidebooks for THEIR favourite novels/films—also publishing those. http://anovelholiday.com/
As it happens, I wanted my first travel guidebook to be based on Diana Gabaldon’s Scotland! But, there was no movie being planned (only hopeful rumours) … and friends universally badgered me to start with a Harry Potter travel guidebook. So, I did.
After more than three years of research, we managed to find sixty-nine Harry Potter Places in the UK that are associated with the Harry Potter Universe (the Potterverse). Each Harry Potter Places (HPP) travel guidebook provides directions for finding the real-life locations described in JK Rowling’s books, the places where Harry Potter filming took place, and the sites that significantly influenced movie studio set design—real-life sites that look just like what we saw on screen.
The 5-book Harry Potter Places series was finished in August of 2012. Still no Diana Gabaldon movie on the horizon, so I started work on a series of four Tour The Twilight Saga travel guidebooks.Tour The Twilight Saga Book One was published in May of 2014—Book Two was published in July of 2015.
Oh, how I wanted to stop working on that first TTTS book the moment I learned about the STARZ TV Outlander series, and knew I’d finally be able to do my Outlandish Scotland Journey travel guidebook! But, I’d committed to doing the TTTS series and felt I had to see it through.
When sales of TTTS Book One were so very poor, however, I stopped the project after finishing Book Two and dove intoOutlandish Scotland Journey!
I spent more than 3 ½ years researching the Outlandish Scottish locations associated with the first 3 novels, and first 4 seasons of the TV show. While doing so, I met loads and loads of lovely Scots. Although I visited many of the Outlander locations during my previous travels to Scotland, I hadn’t been researching Outlander when there, and didn’t have the money to visit again. Thus, I relied heavily on Internet research. When I couldn’t find the answers I needed on the Internet, I’d find someone associated with the location to contact and ask for help, via email and occasionally, phone calls. I cannot remember a single instance of a Scot refusing to assist me and my project. In fact, many went out of their way to provide me with information and photos.
That is a helluva lot of work that has went into these ventures for you. Being able to plan a trip so thoroughly and have it ready to go, I know I am anxiously waiting for my trip with my sister and our hubbies. Your book is going to help us immensely in our planning. It’s a shame we have so much time to plan *shaking my fist at the covid virus*…but I know it will be worth it!
Another thing you have become known for in the fandom is your injection of daily memes collected from around the fandom – generally with a theme for the day. How did you come up with this?It really must be time consuming. I am not Social Media savvy. I still don’t have a smart phone! I knew that I’d have to do Social Media to market my travel guidebooks, but didn’t have acluewhat to tweet or post on Facebook. Then, a good friend gave me a 2012 Harry Potter Daily Calendar for Christmas. Bless her! I realized I could scan and post the Harry Potter Daily Calendar on my Harry Potter Places Twitter and Facebook accounts. The daily calendar scan and a few Harry Potter birthday memes are all I’ve ever posted on those accounts.
In January of 2016, when I set up the Outlandish Scotland Journey Twitter and FB accounts I had the Outlander Daily Calendar, but I wanted to offer more. I started collecting and rerunning Outlander memes created and posted by others.
Each day I rerun at least five memes based on the Daily Calendar’s pic or quote subject or, based on the day’s Outlander-related BIRTHDAY.
I have researched and created files/folders for many, many Outlander characters and the actors/actresses who played them on TV. Obviously, every season requires additional research and creation of additional files/folders. The biggest difficulty related to the birthday project: some actors don’t want to divulge their damn birth date, even when the year isn’t required! Hello, @GrantORourke!. At his request, I simply picked a Grant O’Rourke Appreciation Day: July 19th.
I have over 120 subject subfolders. They range from “Adso,” “Angus Rupert Ross Willie,” “Animals Frasers Ridge” to “William S3,” “William S4,” “Willoughby,” “Wool Waulking,” & “Young Ian.”
On days when there’s not a birthday, I determine the day’s rerun “theme” based on its Outlander Daily Calendar pic or quote. Then, I go to that subject’s subfolder to find 5 reruns to post. If there aren’t enough reruns available, or *GASP* there isn’t a subfolder for that subject, I make one or more new memes to post.
And, that’s about it! It’s a ton o’ work, but I enjoy doing it.
I’d say it is a tonne of work, that’s a lot of dedication to the fandom. I know that some of this is wanting to sell your guide books, of course. Let’s hope this exposure helps some. What other reasons do you put so much time and effort into your social media presence? Which I know are appreciated.Even though my travel guidebooks aren’t selling well, yet, I enjoy having a presence in Outlander’s Twitterverse and on Facebook. In my mind, I am offering Outlanderites at least six moments of entertainment each day. I think that is important, especially during the abominable Reign of tRUMP and the current pandemic! And, I will continue to do so until I am physically incapable of working at my computer.
I truly admire that, Chas. I am grateful for fans like you, as a fan. I always look forward to your posts. Plus, it is nice to recommend you to new peeps in the fandom. What advice to have for them? I still consider myself non-savvy when it comes to Social Media, so I don’t know how important my advice might be. But, here are the tips I live by.
Follow Outlanderites who post things that make you happy … things that pique your interest … things that warm your heart.
Participate! Post things on YOUR account that would make other Outlanderites happy … pique their interest … warm their hearts.
Happily, I’ve not been the target of Twitter Trolls. *Knocking on my forehead – aka on wood* But, I have a response plan: If some unknown person, for some unknown reason, criticises your contribution or says something unkind about you, BLOCK THAT PERSON’S ASS. Do not reply! Do not ENGAGE with the scumbag! And, no matter what, you must never, ever take ANY negative comments posted by some unknown scumbag seriously!
Lastly: In my opinion, there is no good reason to be critical of the Outlander STARZ TV series, especially when it comes to the TV show’s occasional deviation from the books. If they deviated, they had DG’s blessing to do so; just go with it. Actually, I enjoy the deviations! It would be extraordinarily boring to always know what was going to happen. ERMAHGERD! That episode 411 cold open with Roger in the shower?! What a gasp-worthy WTF moment, I loved it!
Bottom Line: The Outlanderverse is here to be ENJOYED! So, enjoy it, in all its glory!
That is one of my views as well. I do enjoy listening to others takes, however, my sanity demands I stay in this lane. *laugh* It’s something I enjoy about interviewing fan accounts, and for those reading, you can go back and read for yourselves. We all look at it differently and can respect those views. It’s the cool thing about being adulty(ish).
For us fans, we all have our hopes of where the show will head…what is yours?All I can say is that STARZ and Tall Ships Productions (et al) damn-well better keep it going until ALL the books have been brought to the screen. That includes Book 10, which has yet to be written.
We know this is going to be one helluva long Droughtlander, what is your advice to survive, for all these wonderful people reading this?
Tip #1A: If you’ve never read the novels, READ THEM! They are extraordinary. Yes. The TV series has done a wonderful job of bringing the best bitz of Diana Gabaldon’s world to life. But, you are missing at least 75% of the Outlandish Wonders available in the novels.
Tip #1B: If you’ve read the novels but haven’t re-read them recently, you need to at least re-read #7 & #8 before #9 is released.
Tip #2: I’ve gotta say it—Read Outlandish Scotland Journey! Even if you don’t know when you’ll be able to visit Scotland, take this time to begin learning about the Outlandish places in Scotland, and to compile a list of places to see, things to do. You can start by taking a look at the FREE Book Samples available on the website. There also are several FREE “Outlandish Scotland Extras” available there. Go to our website and play before having to spend a cent. http://outlandishscotland.com/
You do a lot of giving back, it seems to be in your nature. Tell us about your Kat Pat parties that you do. My favourite hobby is taking the cats (2 at a time) to visit residents at a local nursing home, Lancaster Rehabilitation Center (LRC). These poor people are living my nightmare: being separated from my cats. I started taking cats to visit 2 or 3 times a month in 2003—17 years ago. In 2014 it became a weekly visit! Sadly, due to the Covid 19 pandemic, we’ve not been allowed to visit since mid-February. I miss my Kat Pat Party Peeps!
This shows just how giving Chas is, no matter what community she becomes involved in. For all she has done in ours, and others. Giving her Outlandish Scotland twitter account a follow is worth your time, purchasing the Outlandish Scotland travel book is a fab gift for any Outlander fan. Christmas is only 10 weeks away…just saying!
Thank you Chas for letting us get to know you better. It is my wish that some fans out there that weren’t sure who was behind the account, feel they now do and maybe there are new connections made.
I hope you all are staying sane(ish) and well(ish) during this droughtlander and covid-19 world. I am trying to add my little bit of light with #TheLOVELANDERProject, if you haven’t read all the installments yet, you can find the links at the end of this post.
You can look forward to the next edition on Oct 31st. I’m not going to tell you who but I will give you a hint – nah – I can’t anything I say will give him away. *oops*
Josiah and Kezzie have long held a special place in my heart from the books. I find their arcs, heartwarming and entertaining. I, like many other fans anxiously waited for the announcement of their casting. On November 13 2019 , that happened. Paul Gorman would be playing both roles. This young man’s photo shone from the Outlander Starz page, eyes blue and piercing, jaw set and strong. I did what most Outlander fans do when a new name pops up, hit up the google machine to see what I could see. The face looking back from his InstaGram was very different, smiles so big and bright they literally hit his eyes to make them shine. That expression “Their smile lights up a room” – that’s Paul.
I admit, I felt like I hit a double jackpot when Paul happily accepted my invitation to take part in this project of mine meant to help fans through a very long Droughtlander.
Watchers were introduced to Josiah in the first episode of Season 5 but it was episode 3, called Free Will that we first saw Josiah and Keziah together on screen. The performance and the technology allowed fans to see the depth of this young man’s talent and how Outlander was dedicated to showing how important the twins will be to the ridge. It was wonderful to see production weren’t going to be constantly showing them separated.
I hope you enjoy getting to know Paul as I have. He shows us Outlander casting doesn’t only pick the best actor for the job, they also choose those who fit into the family they have created on set.
Welcome to my little corner of the interwebs, Paul. I’m grateful that agreed to allow me to interview you.Hi Sherry, thank you so much for inviting me to be a part of The Lovelander Project!
I want to congratulate you on your graduation from the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland, a huge accomplishment…thank you for the well wishes, RCS has had a massive impact on me as an actor and as an individual which I’m extremely grateful for and I still can’t believe I graduated around this time last year!
Can you tell us a little about where you grew up?I was born in Rutherglen, which is just 15 minutes outside of Glasgow in the south of the city, and between there and Cambuslang is where I went to school. I was raised by my Mum and Dad, and grew up alongside my younger sister Gabrielle who is currently training to be a primary teacher.
Sounds idyllic. Where do you believe those first interests and sparks of performance were lit?When I was younger I was mainly into music and football, it wasn’t until the final years of high school that I began to have a keen interest in acting, I primarily attribute that to my school and the amazing teachers I had there. In my 5th year, they had decided to put on a school show, the first one the school had done. The show was “We Will Rock You” based on the music by Queen. My interest in performing had been sparked by the band and taking Drama as a class in the earlier years of school so I gave the audition a go and got the part of ‘Britney Spears’, the leader of a gang of music rebels who had taken the name from what he thought was a rock legend lost to time. The whole experience of doing the show, from rehearsals to working on the character to that feeling of being part of an ‘ensemble’, being part of a team, working from nothing to creating something palpable and visceral that had an effect on those that watched it – I loved every minute of it. And of course, a high school production based on the music of an 80’s rock band might not change the world, but it offered a sense of escapism and euphoria for everyone in that room for a brief while. After I turned 17 that summer I attended an open day at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland and realised I could make a career of doing what I loved, so from then on I decided to give it a shot. I attended college for two years where my passion and adoration for acting matured, and at the end of those two years I was lucky enough to be accepted to the RCS. But I completely owe it to my teachers at high school who organised and supported that first show, without them I would never have discovered what I loved so I’m incredibly grateful.
I found a little something online called “Imperial City” with a pretty sweet grind, with you at the head…I enjoy some punk/grunge…even if my terminology has to be grandfathered in.Oh my God, I can’t believe you managed to track down the remnants of Imperial City, I commend your research efforts!
I was around 14 when we first started the band, back then we were called “Post Paradise” but by the time I was 16 we changed it to “Imperial City” due to the fact that there was an Australian band called “Paradise Post” and we didn’t want our many fans (our mates from school) to get confused, so we stole the name from an Elder Scrolls game. I honestly had the time of my life playing in that band, and the band I played in after “Atlas”. As “Imperial City” went, we were most definitely NOT the best punk band in Glasgow but we just had a ton fun: playing covers we wanted to play (mainly Green Day and Foo Fighters), we gigged at our local UC Youth Centre and got to play some iconic venues around Glasgow like the Barrowlands and The Garage and we always had our friends from school turning up to support us. It was honestly just such a good laugh and being in the band was such an informative and thrilling experience, it was a real confidence-building journey for me that directly fed into my turn to acting.
It goes to show you had that drive and confidence much earlier than many, it seems to have served you very well… In terms of music, it was my first year at high school. My Dad plays guitar and he got me into it, then there was a “guitar club” ran by Mr. Miller who was one of the music teachers and along with a growing love of punk and rock music it inspired us to get the band together. The band was so influential in giving me confidence and helping me come out of my shell, I was quite a shy and timid kid, and by being in it helped me find my voice and gave me a positive and creative outlet during my teenage years. The love and passion for acting came a bit later, although I did have an early acting stint at 4 years old when I played a sheep in the nursery nativity so maybe the acting seeds were sown then? No idea haha!
😂 Aww a sheep…I don’t think it suits anymore. Had you heard of Outlander prior to your auditioning for the role? I had definitely heard about Outlander before auditioning for the show! Outlander, both the books and the tv series, has had a massive and profound effect for Scotland in terms of: bringing people to Scotland’s shores for the first time, encouraging discussion all over the world of Scotland’s history and introducing our culture (past and present) to those who don’t know much about us, and so much more! It has also been positive for Scotland’s film and television industry, employing hundreds of crew members and creatives, and has helped many Scottish-born actors break into the industry, so to be asked to join the cast of the show was such a privilege and I’m very grateful for it being my first job.
It’s an impressive accomplishment, you should be very proud.What was the audition process like for you? Tell us all the deets.The auditions I had during Outlander were a part of an incredibly supportive process and were so informative and enlightening for me as a young actor and this is solely down to the devoted casting teams of Suzanne Smith and Simone Pereira Hind. It was my first audition just after my drama school showcase and it involved reading some extracts from Josiah and Kezzie’s story arc. Both casting directors encouraged to explore and play with the text, while also being extremely sensitive and supportive to the work we were doing and it was honestly just such a fun and creative experience. Later on in the recall stages I had to travel down to London and I remember turning up waaaay too early for the audition so I remember kicking about North London listening to David Bowie while running lines for both characters to pass the time, some onlookers were definitely intrigued by the raving, dancing Scotsman playing two characters in the middle of the street. The London recall involved a ‘chemistry test’ with Caitlin, who plays Lizzie, who was amazing to audition with. She was so encouraging and all my pre-audition nerves left me when we started the scene as she is so giving as an actor, completely selfless and full of spontaneity, an acting partner’s dream! We did three scenes in total, continually working on both Josiah and Kezzie with our director Stephen Woolfenden, and that was us done!
We love us some Caitlin around here too, it’s a not so secret wish of mine to have her take part in The LOVELANDER Project, not gonna lie. It quite thrills me to hear you were brought together to test. **And sidenote for all of you reading, of course I asked what scenes they they did in the audition, and of course Paul wouldn’t say.He isn’t going to give up ALL the goods in one interview – he is a sweetheart but no pushover.**
What was that experience of finding out you had earned the role…ummm…roles like? I had just finished a radio class at RCS, I remember checking my phone and seeing I had a couple of missed calls from my agent, so I walked up to the top floor of the building which is usually quite empty, gave him a ring back and that’s when he told me I got the job! I recall just feeling completely overwhelmed, yet so excited to start my first job and also just extremely grateful to have been given this opportunity. I also remember feeling a slight hesitation about accepting as well due to the nature of playing Kezzie. At RCS, I have been extremely fortunate to meet and work alongside many deaf actors as the school offers a BA Performance course in BSL and English, and my hesitancy came from accepting the role of a deaf/hard of hearing character knowing the experiences of my friends struggling to find roles themselves. I met up and discussed with a couple of the actors on the course, along with lecturers who taught on it, about the nature of the role and if it was acceptable for me to agree to it. All that I spoke to gave incredibly insightful advice and noted how it was a unique situation due to the duality of playing both Kezzie and Josiah, who can hear. Because of this they supported taking on the role, and continued to offer help and advice while we were in pre-production and during filming. One of the pieces of advice was to have a deaf adviser on set and that’s how we got Bea involved!That says so much about your character as a human, Paul. Many, I imagine would be so over the moon with their first job, on this huge hit TV show, yet, here you are concerned about others and going to them to confer.Your generation is wise and compassionate, it’s heartwarming to hear.
When your casting announcement was made public by Starz, you had already begun filming, what was that “HERE COMES PAUL TO THE MASSES” experience like for you?It was bewildering! I don’t think anyone can get used to the fact that people you’ve never met in countries you’ve never been to suddenly know who you are! When the announcement came I was welcomed with such warmth and love from the Outlander community, it felt like joining a big family.
The rest of cast all have experience with the fandom so, they must be helpful with navigating those waters? The cast were extremely helpful in offering advice about this new world I was about to step into. Caitlin in particular was someone I’d constantly go to seeking guidance, as we both have had similar journeys in terms of Outlander being our first jobs. She had gone through this herself and knew exactly what to advise me on. She’s been incredible and I owe her a great deal.
Fan engagement can be tricky sometimes…Like I said before, I have been incredibly fortunate that the vast majority of the fans I’ve been contacted by have all been supportive and welcoming and seemed to have really enjoyed the work we made on the fifth season. I try not to engage too much on social media as you don’t want too many opinions trying to shape your performance, but the backing we’ve had in the past year really spurs us on as actors to give the most honest and sensitive performances possible.
I imagine there are ways that are easier to digest the opinions or critiques of fans, as well. Of course, as actors and artists we welcome criticism, as it helps us to improve our craft and the work that we do, but if viewers did take issue with how a storyline or scene was filmed or executed, the way to do so would to be constructive and in a helpful and supportive manner. This will usually be listened to and taken in positively by those that see it and will be welcomed as affirmative motivation for when they next go to work.
In my, oh so, humble opinion, my job as a fan is to support and enjoy the work you do. You are the professionals after all. There is so much preparation that goes into the whole production. As you mentioned earlier, Bea helped with yours. I’m interested to hear about the groundwork you laid out while forming both Josiah and Kezzie as individualsand how Bea and others helped you with that. Knowing that the show’s storylines are based heavily on the books I thought by reading Josiah and Kezzie’s storyline in “The Fiery Cross” and “A Breath of Snow and Ashes” would be a key source to draw on for the performances. What is so good about the Outlander books, as an actor, is that Diana Gabaldon writes such detailed background stories, so you don’t have to join the dots as much, all the information is there! When it came to the actual performances, I wanted to focus on the features that distinguish the two boys while also finding similarities between them, as they continue to get mistaken for each other by other characters.
Key areas to focus on were differences in attitudes, body language, speech and the skills that each of the boys possess. Josiah is a skilled hunter it was important to think about his posture, while his keenness to prove his worth to the Ridge would show in his focus and his conscientiousness towards certain tasks. As I’m most definitely no hunter myself, it was useful to research hunting methods of the time and tools that Josiah might use, they would then have a lasting effect on Josiah’s body language and were good focus points.
For Kezzie, I focused on his more compassionate nature (looking after the barn cats), so he would have a softer touch to his posture, a willingness to smile more and because he relies much more heavily on his other senses to survive he may run his eyes over objects and people more frequently than others would, in order to gain the information required to assess a situation. To work on Kezzie’s deafness we wanted to approach it with sensitivity and accuracy in order to give the most honest representation of the character as possible. To do so, I interviewed some of my friends on the BA Performance BSL & English course at RCS to hear their own personal accounts and how they might intertwine with Kezzie’s, along with contacting local deaf support groups within Glasgow. What was also important was to try and have someone on set who could advise and monitor my behaviour as Kezzie during filming, so we managed to get Bea Webster, who is an actor herself and graduated from the BSL course at RCS, to be our deaf advisor on set. Bea and Carol-Ann Crawford, our dialect coach on Outlander, worked with me to shape Kezzie’s speech and also helped develop “home signs”, (as ASL/BSL were in its infancy stages during the late 17th century), in order to help the boys communicate with each other. The Outlander team and our directors were again very supportive of this and were happy to assist in helping us be as authentic as possible.
I am always impressed at how Outlander seems to take those extra steps to assist the actors in their process. It something we can easily take for granted because it makes your performance so flawless.
We have fans that know the (book) story arc of Josiah and Keziah, yet there are TV viewers that willhave no idea.You mentioned you’ve read “A Breath of Snow and Ashes” (the next book, and what Season 6 will eventually be based on) We all know not every storyline makes it into the show but on a scale of 1-10, how much would you like to see some version of the Josiah/Kezzie story arc in season 6? Oh most definitely a 9 or 10! Such a key aspect of the boys’ personalities is their relationship with Lizzie as it sparks a growth in their maturity as characters, she helps ground them in their new reality and also, they find a sense of peace at the conclusion of their storyline that almost feels needed after the years of servitude and pain they have lived through. So to see the boys storyline realized from the books would be an incredible way to add to their journeys.
I couldn’t agree more. I think it would be epic to see that come to life on screen, you and Caitlin would absolutely slay!I am one of those fans that see the way you and your costars interact on SM and BTS. You seem to have this true camaraderie. What do you attribute that to? I think it’s down to the fact that everyone on set, from crew to actors to directors, are just so incredibly sound and also committed to making everyone feel at home and welcome. It’s a perfect duality between everyone being dedicated to the work at hand and also completely up for a laugh and a joke, which is so important on those late-night shoots. Everyone is also totally respectful of each other’s work and will put in the time and effort to support each other which brought us closer as an ensemble.
Speaking of that ensemble, let’s play a game. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when I say the names of these castmates –
Caitlin O’Ryan (Lizzie) An absolute hero, I learn from her every day whether it be about acting or something new I never knew about the world. Also, she’s extremely and undeniably cool.
Lauren Lyle (Marsali) Incredibly supportive of everyone on set, so kind and approachable and has excellent banter.
César Domboy (Fergus) So charming and courteous and also effortlessly cool, even when we’ve wrapped after a long day of shooting he still looks like he’s stepped off a fashion show it’s incredible.
Kyle Rees (JQM)An utter legend, such a grounded and down-to-earth guy, so easy to talk to, always up for a laugh, and always brings a smile to everyone’s face. Never met a man so passionate about rugby.
John Bell (Young Ian)Such a compassionate and considerate actor and person, intelligent and witty, and made me and others feel welcome on set.
Richard Rankin (Roger) King of the wind-up and the odd banter, but also very considerate to those around him, he’s a cracking actor and I think his work this season particularly is exemplary and excellent.
Sophie Skelton (Brianna) Such a genial and thoughtful person, super bright and a pleasure to be around! Also incredibly sophisticated and cool like many in the cast.
SamHeughan (Jamie) A true leader, constantly boosts the morale of everyone on set and makes everyone feel valued and seen, he’s both selfless and giving as an actor. Also always up for a laugh and loves his rugby.
Caitriona Balfe (Claire)As intelligent, perceptive and intuitive as an actor as she is a person, it’s really inspiring to see her work and command a space with such presence, learnt a great deal from her.
Speaking of Caitriona, the last episode of season 5, Never My Love, was a very heavy episode. You were involved in what has gone down as an epic scene, the rescue of Claire, the killing of her captors and those who raped her. I am really interested in what it took to hold up those scenes…from your perspective. As an actor entering those scenes, what was vital was supporting our fellow cast members. Like our own characters main objectives in protecting Claire, it was our duty as ensemble members to support Caitriona and treating the setting and nature of the scenes with the sensitivity and care that is necessary. The energy, focus and emotional toll required for Caitriona to engage with the experiences that Claire goes through would be extensive and imposing, and it was our job as cast and crew to make the environment and atmosphere as comfortable and safe as possible in order to help Caitriona. And to see Caitriona at work, like that?I thought her performance throughout this season was stunning, but especially in those final episodes her attention to detail and vulnerability she showed as an actor was both heart-wrenching and exemplary, and to see the way she conducted herself professionally and considerately on set should be commended, it was inspiring to see as a young actor.
I appreciate you giving us such a wonderful visual. I am sure you have many but I am going to put you on the spot and ask you what your most memorable time on set was…thus far anyway.Honestly got so many! I think probably the Fiery Cross scene from the first episode, it was amazing seeing all the cast assembled for one scene, and there were so many people involved in the process of making and shooting it, I’d never seen anything like it in my life! Also, the fact it was a night shoot and we were going until 6 in the morning, there was a great sense of camaraderie and also delirium from the tiredness so we had a laugh and amazing time with the cast and crew.
It was enjoyable to watch as well! Outlander is your first TV role, but not your first role. You star in a short film called ‘Tooth’ that will be releasing, hopefully soon. You worked on that film while still in school.How do you feel you have grown as an actor from then until now? So much! Especially in that 3rd year at drama school, you mature and grow rapidly as an actor and a person as you are introduced to the industry. Outlander has been a great catalyst in helping me develop further as an actor. It has allowed me the opportunity to hone my screen acting skills, taught me the process (and my place in that process) of being a part of a television show and also bestowed on me stamina and durability to survive those long shoots (napping is key). It has introduced me to a world I had only known of on my screen, and to see how it works I now have a deeper and more insightful understanding of my industry.
All you have to do is look at this Instagram post. First, this smile – I mean…and then his words. The gratitude he expresses for those he works with and the credit he bestows upon them for assisting him with his brilliant performances is a credit to his character.
I don’t think it is possible to be “OUTlandered” but I have asked LOTS of Outlander stuff and of course there is so much more to you.I know the fans will love getting to know you more as I have, let’s talk about some other things that interest you…
Some actors describe themselves as introverts, finding acting helps bring out certain parts of their personality they want to tune into more. Would you fall into the introvert or extrovert corner?I’d probably describe myself as a bit of both or neither haha. I love to be around others but also equally enjoy spending time on my own.How do you think your personality influences your work? I think personality has a direct effect on your job, whatever your profession may be. In acting it can come across in the parts that you play but more than anything else it can show in the way you work. I strive to be a supportive and empathetic person and I hope that is apparent in my approach to acting through ensemble work and being there for others. It sounds so simple and basic to say, but being approachable, attentive and respectful are so key in this industry and encourages others to want to work with you, like any job! If I am these things I do not know, but I always strive to be.
With you starting your career with this mindset, I have this not so crazy feeling your career will be fulfilling. Who would you say has inspired you the most in your life? I have been incredibly lucky throughout my life to have had many people to look up to and continuously motivate me; my Mum, Dad and sister especially have been a constant inspiring force that have shaped me into the person I am today. The way they approach their work, the way they conduct their relationships with other people and how they always put others before themselves is a continuous motivator for how I lead my life, I’m incredibly grateful to have them.
I am sure they are proud of you.It is a blessing when you have a foundation of love and support.You have many of years ahead of you, what kind of projects would you like to work on in the future? Oh anything and everything! I’m at the stage in my career where I’d love to do a variety of different projects of an array of subject matters; hopefully those that are bold, thought-provoking and inspire change, but I’m grateful to just be working and doing what I love. I have a massive yearning to go back to theatre, especially as I haven’t been involved in a project on stage since late 2018, so to be part of a theatre production again would be incredible.
There are so many talented people in the industry, do you have any that are on a ‘dream’ list to work with?Honestly the list is so long, I have so many artists I admire. If I had to choose a director, it would be Danny Boyle(Trainspotting, Slumdog Millionaire, 28 Days Later, Yesterday, to name a few). He’s an exceptionally unique filmmaker who makes such visceral, layered and entertaining pieces and the narratives within his films always have such a great collection of characters, also the soundtracks as well for each of his movies are always stunning.
With your background in theatre and your love of all things creative, that would be a great fit. I would love to see you in something Danny Boyle creates.SinceI’ve shared the informations that you can sing, if you could do a biopic of a musician – who would you choose? Ahhh that is very kind of you to say but I assure you I’m no singer! However, if I were lucky enough to be in a biopic about a musician, I would love to be involved in a film about Frank Sinatra. He’s had such a prolific career but also steeped in controversy in terms of his political ties and his alleged dealings with organised crime, it would make for a great character study.
I was thinking something in the punk world and he goes and throws Frank Sinatra out for the win.
Like many Scottish actors, Paul has a versatile CV, 13 theatre productions under his belt, radio, film and of course, now television, he is becoming the total package.
If you follow Paul on twitter or Instagram, you will see quickly that he is passionate about social justice and also has a very creative eye.
It is easy to see you are drawn to things that move you. What would say your favourite creative outlet is?(Movies, theatre, music, TV)Oh, if I’m honest I don’t think I could pick a favourite! They all seem to affect me in different ways and can suit any mood or feeling I’m having. I can find myself listening to a song or album on repeat, diving into the world of a tv series or film or be in awe of some theatre magic I see on stage. I’m gonna be so boring and say all of them cause I can’t pick one.
That isn’t boring at all, I like when people are honest and don’t make up something. To be honest, I am the same way. I can’t pick favourites for the life of me, I have no idea why I put people on the spot like that. Note taken 😂 The world has changed a lot since filming stopped on Outlander, what have you been doing to keep it together? Any ideas to help me out…It has been a difficult time for everyone, and I’m not sure if I would have any new advice, but I would suggest focus on doing things that make you happy, and especially those things you always put off! I’ve been reading books I’ve always meant to read, learning songs on guitar I’ve always wanted to learn, simple and easy things that are manageable and doable but I’ve always put off as I’ve pushed other tasks to the forefront. I also recommend downloading the app “Duolingo”, it’s free and makes learning a language super-easy, I’m currently making my way up the Norwegian course and about to begin my Gaelic one (a must for any Outlander fan). Simple, easy and manageable goals to get you through the day and also encourages you to learn and try something new!
I know thatsome reading are going to be thinking “Paul is too good to be true!” So let’s give them a kick rocks moment *smile*. Give me three things you miss most from our pre-covid life.
The cinema. I would try and go as much as I can to see everything and anything. Though saying that, they have started opening up again and I managed to catch our Colonel Fraser be the bad-guy in ‘Bloodshot’, he was terrifyingly good (as always).
Greggs. It’s like a bakery chain in the UK, but has a special place in Scotland’s heart. They do everything from sausage rolls to baguettes to pancakes, literally everything. But again they’re starting to open up, so I’m able to pick-up my empire biscuits nae problem.
The pub. I’m not even a massive drinker, but the experience and ease of meeting up with a few mates in town and going to the pub and having a laugh was missed a lot during these last few months. Will never take it for granted again.
That is exactly it, isn’t it? Not taking things for granted, you are right. I am sure you could give me a list a mile long, I know I have one,but how about you give me three. Three things you have come to be more grateful for during this difficult time?
Family and Friends. They’ve kept me sane and smiling throughout this entire time, I’m extremely lucky to have them in my life.
My cats. Ask anyone who knows me well and they’ll mention how his cats basically make up his whole personality. Cats in general are just the funniest, most entertaining and beautiful creatures on the planet. Sorry dog lovers.
The NHS. I’ve fortunately been lucky not to need their services recently, but the work they have been doing this year, the years before and the years to come is exemplary and beyond inspiring. We are incredibly lucky to have them.
The cats answer may gain you a whole new following within this fandom and there may be many questions about them in the future. Consider yourself warned. *laugh*.
I know theatre has a special place in your heart and it has been hit particularly hard…The pandemic has brought a wide range of difficulties to the way we all live our lives, and industries around the world have been devastated by it. The entertainment industry has been severely affected by it, as it mainly survives on revenue generated by ticket sales for its performances and the way in which the virus spreads, is of course, halting theatres re-opening.
What can we do to support the theatre industry right now? While theatres remain shut, a way in which you can help them out is if you have a penny to spare, donate to the variety of funds that have been set up by theatres and local charity organisations supporting local arts funding. It is key to support the regional/local theatres across the country, as they have been the hardest hit throughout this pandemic. Understandably, if money is an issue, continue to engage with theatres online on social media and various campaigns they are running and advocating for. Knowing they have your support and your voice can go a long way in shifting governments attention to helping them out!
And one final thing, once theatres do begin opening up and you’re not shielding or suffering from any health issues, I implore you to get out there and see some theatre! Treat yourself to a musical you always fancied seeing, or a Shakespeare or a new up and coming playwright or theatre company! You’ll be giving yourself a well-deserved night-out and also committing to keeping this wonderful industry afloat and inspiring the artists of tomorrow.
Theatre companies are struggling all over the world and the arts are so important to our young people, all you have suggested is worth our attention.
I know I have been spending some time binging shows, Outlander just got the season 1-5 treatment, again. I don’t have a problem. What is the last show you binged? I’m currently watching and binging the show “I May Destroy You” on BBC iPlayer. It is incredible, bold, informative, unsettling yet still manages to be hilarious and superbly acted by all involved! I think it might be on HBO across the pond? Whatever you can get it on, get it watched!
Consider it watched! Now that we are going down the endorsement road, let’s play “Paultimate Recommendations”:
Puzzle is the only one I hadn’t heard of. I popped it on and it has a great mix of heady lyrics and grittiness. I’m not too old for that. I do find much of who we are is developed in our teens, I often think of the advice I would give my teenself if I could. If you could go back and give ‘teen Paul’ advice or words of encouragement, what would you say?Don’t hold back, try everything and anything. Even ABBA.
I’m just going to put that in my pocket and use it now, cuz I might be running out of time.
It is obvious you are intune with the inner workings of ‘Paul’, so I am going to ask you to give yourself a tagline, a warning label and a theme song.
Paul’s Theme Song is Feeder, imagine it playing whenever you see him.
Your kind heart and authenticity shine through in your words and in your performance as Josiah and Kezzie – I want you to know, even if my opinion might not matter in the big scheme of things – I believe you have found your calling – not only for you but those that are blessed enough to find themselves in your circle. Thank you for being exactly who you are. Thank you so so much and once again thank you for allowing me to be a part of this project, it was an absolute pleasure answering your thoughtful questions. It is such a lovely service you are doing for the fans and you and your work are greatly appreciated!!!
It is kind of fantastic when you can say “What you see…it what you get”. This has been my experience with each member of the cast I‘ve had the pleasure to interview or meet. It’s my opinion the casting department has a great deal to do with that. Like attracts like and all that smart stuff.
It was such a nice escape from my Droughtlander to get to know Paul and I hope you can say the time you spent with us today, did the same for you.From this video – I can say underneath the wig and gnarly looking collar, that’s Paul.Gracious, courteous, humble and kind.
I know you have a successful career ahead of you, as for Outlander fans, once you are loved by us, you are on the radar and will be supported by us, always.Thank you so much once again Sherry it was an absolute privilege!
That’s right, it’s a quickie. Look you bunch of pervs – not THAT kind!
This quickie is not my typical interview. Kikki Fleming, Outlander fans know him as a loveable, fierce protector. Lesley from seasons 3/4, that poor SOB that was senselessly killed off, not so courteously by that sunnuva Bonnet.
Kikki has already graciously done an interview with me, so I annoyed him until he agreed to play a silly game of “this or that” with me. To be real, I asked, he said ‘happy to’, that’s the kind of guy he is. Of course, Kikki being Kikki – he’s extra. He didn’t just answer with one word answers…he gave it his all. As he is known to do, it might be why I like him so much.
I tried to make sure my Canadian dialect was curbed to his Scottish and – there was one point where – well, you will see for yourself. Both of us thought “Maybe we should leave this out” but know what, the reason Kikki and I get on is…the things we think we should leave out we usually don’t because, fuck filters, things are funnier without them sometimes.(Including my face!)
Enjoythe THIS or THAT of Kikki(and my odd penny thrown in- a UK penny cuz we don’t have them in Canada anymore).
Dogs or Cats –Gotta go dogs. I love both, and loved the cats I’ve had…but that conditional love, arrogant independence that cats show at times- jeez…Dogs just think you’re great, you’re the best, enjoy hanging out with you having fun…and they show it.You can wrestle them, be more physical. I mean they fart, and stink sometimes after being out, but so do I!! They listen to you…kind of…they always look like they are trying to be your best friend, to understand you….cats look at you like they could care less, all about they are getting out the relationship.
Burgers or Tacos –Burgers….even a bad burger can satisfy. Many of the fillings you put in Tacos you can stick on a burger…Burger is like an old school mate – you know where you are with them, and sometimes they can still surprise you.(I get surprised by burgers – especially when they tell methey are gluten-free and they aren’t- BAD surprise!)
Coffee or Tea –I think tea is my favourite drink perhaps ever. Dunking a biscuit (or cookie for you guys!) in a cup of tea at night is one of life’s luxuries…well mine anyway! I have gotten into coffee more in past few years..and I know the places I like. I think there are so many different coffee shops now, there’s no excuse for bad, burnt, over-hot coffee…competition is intense, and it isn’t rocket science. I don’t make coffee at home really, but I know my tea, and which tea bags…M & S Gold Label are great, as is Yorkshire tea and of course, Scottish Blend!(I can’t handle tea, it’s a childhood disturbance though. I’m special like that. I know better than to get between peeps ‘ their tea though.)
Watching or playing sports –As a kid I played a lot of soccer…every day occurrence. But these days not so much. I think the last full game I played was in Connecticut actually, on a public playing field which had nets – and grass. That would never happen here..folk would be off with the nets in a flash – and the grass….hahaha!
TV or Films –I think our lifestyles have dictated that our attention spans lean more towards TV, and the accessibility of channels like Netflix etc, mean we can control when we watch stuff now – bingeing on series and shows. I think the quality of TV has vastly improved and has come to rival that of the movies. Films and movies still hold that magical fantastical element though, and nothing can quite replace that special occasion going to see something on a huge screen and getting utterly immersed in it.
Wet or Dry -Yeah, I know what I’m doing. Thin ice here…..clearly depends on what we are talking about…knowing you, I’ll say …..humour!! hahahaha – dry, every time..good dry sense of humour. Martini – dry definitely. Weather, we all love the dry don’t we..unless it’s not meant to be and we are fucking up the planet. The Rainforest is so-called for a reason….I have been there and was soaking for 5 wonderful weeks…let’s keep it that way…like my -!!!(The man gets me, I tell ya. He took it in every direction I knew he would. Well played!)
Beaches or Munros –As much as I love my beautiful country, I am under no illusion of it’s inability to provide certainty of weather conditions, and being up a Munro as snow, hail, and fog hit, at the height of summer, hold no dewy eyed lure for me. Looking out to the horizon, to the prospect of opportunity and discovery, and then the other way to the cocktail bar, then up to the sun, however ………
Busy city or quiet country –Ye see, it depends – on a lot of factors ..which city, which country, what state am I in, what do I need? I think the company can make even a place like Coventry for instance seem blissful! I lived in London for 10 years, and a wonderful time, at times too much, but it can wear you down. When I moved back to Scotland, I really appreciated having more personal space, and wondered how I had lasted so long down south. Some of my best times have come in bustling cities – New York, Amsterdam, Lisbon, Chicago, Cape Town – but then the beauty and tranquility of the Tuscan countryside, wonder of the Borneo jungle, the escape to a remote cottage on West coast of Scotland – marvellous self-chosen isolation. I think sometimes we are scared of missing out – so I’ll go for the relaxation of the quiet!(I too, had my city years. I sit in my city house and watch the UK show Escape to the Country – so that’s MY take)
Toilet roll: over or under hahaha…believe or not, but when filming in Cape Town, James Kirk and I had this discussion..as in, how do you wipe your arse..do you stand or remain seated!!? Time on our hands , eh! Not poop however! I’m an over with my reach…though, another actor, Kevin Lennon, wonderful man, he tried to put me on to the under method in rehearsal – what is it with actors?!- told me it would change my life. I tried, but, it’s muscle memory and instinctively my method kicks in. I know I’ve not been doing it wrong, but didn’t realise it was one of those personal conversations that would come up now and then! ps – I just realised what you actually meant, but I like my answer, so I’m keeping it as is!I sat for a second and then proceeded to laugh until I had tears falling down my face. It’s a good thing he is on a different continent cuz I would have went to his door to razz the shit outta him about that one. TOTAL pun intended.
Slapstick or Dark Humour –Dark Humour…comedy is one of the last things standing from the sanctimonious, sanitising do-gooder mob that is threatening every art form. Good dark humour can actually enlighten us to the fucked up-ness that is currently around us. People get too confused and angry about content/context/target in comedy these days…folk will actually watch an act they know will be offensive, so they can then go and complain they were offended!! How fucked up is that? You get up there and make us laugh then, you lonely no mates arsehole…..a joke is sometimes just a joke, not necessarily a point of view..the comedian may have twisted the truth, or their own personal viewpoint to make the joke work…..and the best comedians are true artists..stop sniffling their work..just don’t watch them! People are dicks...Slapstick…the greats are good..really good….Airplane! is one of my favourite movies of all time…but there is so much horror around in the world these days, it’s hard to ignore. Plus, we have a couple of complete slapstick fucking muppets running supposedly great countries on either side of the Atlantic – who could improve on that!?(Hearing you on ALL levels. Comedians are meant stand on that line in society and bring levity when there is very little – plus – comedians, like anyone else will not please everyone, everytime. We also have to be careful of judging ones from 20 yrs ago on today’s social evolutions, IMO. If they STILL did that material – yeah – not cool. But when we know better, we do better. When it comes to comedy – if you don’t like someone’s humour – DON’T pay attention to them, don’t give them your money or a neat trick, you do not have to like everything someone has to say to appreciate some of the things they do. WHOOOAAAA. How’s that for a concept?! As for the slapstick muppets…dude…you are not wrong! Ocean bookends)
Summer or Winter –One of my pleasures, addictions, is buying parkas, coats, jackets….and I love having the cold weather so I can justify having bought them. But there is a nothing pleasant about the imposition of a rotten winter . My favourite time of the day is summer when the sun just starts to set. It’s still light, still warm, but not oppressive. That’s when the cool bats come out to swoop swoop and rock rock! (I was with ya until you said bats were cool…)
Truth or Dare – The truth seems to be such an obscure and rare thing these days, esp from those figures we look towards for leadership and guidance, so a good dose of it is welcome. A dare however…we all need to do something each day that scares us…so Dare..although that will include truth for many.(I’m gonna hold you to that one, heading to Scotland in 2 yrs…)
Heels or flats –Yet again, depends who’s wearing them. I wear a lot of trainers, so I’ll go flats. If my you mean my preference on women, then I don’t mind as I’m normally looking into my partners eyes anyway!(NICELY DONE!)
Straight or mixed –Hahaha…another time bomb question, depending on how I answer….Offended by my choice of orientation at an orgy!! Come one come all…!!Drinks-wise….hmmm…I love a cocktail, you might have noticed esp Whisky Sour, but I’m not really into spirit and coke or lemonade etc….Gin and tonic however….mixed is good though…mix it up, come ooooon!!(Sorry, he didn’t take the bait for the orgy question 🙄😋)
Passenger or driver –depends who is driving, clearly!! I do like driving, but not when I don’t know where I am. Happy to be driven…as long as I’m not pompous about it!
Thriller or Comedy – Great thrillers tend to stick with you for longer…they delve deeper into the soul and psyche…Though Airplane! and Naked Gun are the exception to that rule!(Don’t call me Shirley!)
Work or Play hard –I love my job, when I can do it, and there is a clue in doing something called a ‘play’…we are playing at being other people…..It can be hard work, but as long as that is for the right reason then they both go hand in hand. All work and no play makes Kikki a dull boy.
Intelligence or humour –Sense of humour every time. Some of my heroes, Jane Goodall, Dian Fossey..great learned informed minds…world-leaders in their fields of expertise…passionate, dedicated to the cause. They have sacrificed so much for what they believe in…and I hold them in such high esteem for those very reasons.But ye cannae learn a sense of humour…..nothing more disappointing than having to explain a joke, whether it be yours or someone else’s….we all know someone like that – how can someone so bright, appear so thick. (The way I explain a joke…”Nevermind”.)
Save or Spend –Spend – I wish I was better, but hey I still haven’t found the ultimate parka, and I can’t take it with me anyway. (Well, see, how lucky are you that you have a friend like me?)
https://www.ssense.com/en-ca/men/designers/canada-goose – Made of the ANGRIEST feathers known to man.
Day or Night –I like the promise and opportunity of a new day, but due to hours of my profession, a lot of the magic happens at night, so Night it is!(I guess it’s a good thing we all know he is an ACTOR because if we didn’t…)
Piercing or Tattoos –I have none…..never considered a piercing ever, though tattoo yes several…just what to get…John Lennon, Billy Connolly, or the date of the greatest football game in my lifetime, Hibs pumping Sevco in 2016 Scottish cup Final have been the main candidates….Then it’s where will it go blah blah …and never happened. I like the idea of a tattoo, but I’ve seen a lot of shit ones..plus if it’s on yer arm you’ve got to keep then biceps pumped up, or when the skin gets a bit loose Billy or John end up resembling Mother Theresa. (The visual alone. I think you should go for the classic face tat…those seem popular.)
Weird or Crazy –yet again depends how they affect your life. Crazy is good, exhilarating , as long as safety comes into play. Weird is intriguing if it’s as a watcher, but if it’s weird for weirds sake, then gettaefu! Not welcome.(I don’t think you are either but I think you are both. I know I am right. Make sense?)
Sweet or Salty –My partner would say sweet for me, as life’s luxury is cup of tea and a biscuit…but I rarely order a pudding when out for a meal. Starter and main course, just in case anyone was looking at their budget plan for taking me out, so I’d say salty.(You? Salty? Yeah…I see it.😏)
Being too warm or too cold –Too cold…then I could put on one of my jackets….Bingo!!!! (Same! Well, I might have to borrow one of your parkas. I live in a country it gets so cold my face hurts but I only have one winter coat and its not a parka. My trick is…stay the hell at home.)
I am always grateful when Kikki takes time out of his days to chat with me. I have come to more than admire his work or think he is this cool guy from TV. He has shown me genuine compassion and made me laugh til my stomach hurts.The love he has for his partner and his friends shows me, no matter where we go in this world – we will connect with “our people”. They are, indeed, everywhere. I know I already said it to you, Kikki, but thanks again for taking part in The LOVELANDER Project. I might just hit you up for another game…cuz…well…you are you.
No matter how fans may feel about Outlander’s Laoghaire, we all can agree Nell Hudson’s performance added level of vulnerability to her. It wasn’t until she put her stamp on this often debated character, that many started to soften with an empathy for her. I was one of those people. For me, it turned me into a fan of the actress who gave me a new perspective of a character I thought I knew. I’d been reading about her for 20 plus years afterall. I started following Nell’s career and her social media, as one does in this world of interwebbing.
Needless to say, when Nell said she thought #TheLOVELANDERProject was a ‘lovely endeavour’ and she would happy to be a part of it, I was thrilled. (Since this isn’t about me, I will stop babbling to bring you the very bright and brilliant Nell)
Imagine, a blonde haired blue eyed wisp of a lass, enjoying picnics, riding her bike and swimming in rivers. A farm in the Midlands of England is where she called home. An incredibly idyllic childhood Nell tells me. Until, of course, she becomes a teenager.“Then I longed for excitement and couldn’t wait to get off the farm. Now, of course, I love going back.”
Nell, came into Outlander fans lives as the living breathing,Loaghaire MacKenzie, she even jokingly calls her Leghair, as many fans have been known to. This is an example of Nell’s own great sense of humour. It’s always interesting to get a better look from the person ‘playing’ the character…“Laoghaire is what happens when a broken heart never heals. Like all good villains, she’s a fallen angel. She didn’t start out bad, but circumstance has made it so.”
I wrote a blog on the Women of Outlander and there were fans that did identify with Loaghaire. I know that some think she is just horrible but I understand her. I certainly feel sorrier for her than dislike her.“Hmm…I feel sorry for Laoghaire too! A big part of playing her for me was the back-story of her not having a mother. I think this is the hole in the soul she tries to fill with love for Jamie. It’s deeply sad, when you think about it. As for me, I like to think I know a lost cause when I see one….“
That incredible insight should make it obvious thatNell is so much more than the time she spent on Outlander. I am sure you will see that as we go. I did ask her to recall some of her treasured memories from her time with on the show. “I remember going to the pub in Glasgow with all of the Season One cast (Cat, Sam, Duncan, Gary Lewis, Graham McTavish, Lotte Verbeek) and thinking “wow, I’ll never forget this!”. On Series Two I made great friends with the actor James Parris, who played Young Simon, and had so much fun hanging with him – we’re still good friends! And then Lauren Lyle came into my life and I’ll always love her. Then Sophie, oh my lord, she’s fab. Love her, too.“
As far as Lauren Lyle is concerned, the feeling is mutual. I was lucky enough to be included on a zoom party with her in June and asked her what her thoughts on Nell were. Lauren’s face softened, you know how I mean, when you talk of someone you absolutely adore. She fondly recalled her first days on set and how Nell truly took her under her wing. Lauren sticking to her like glue with her ‘show Ma’ gently guiding her along and making her feel safe and welcome.
As much as your acting, those real life connections do come through in your art. From what I have read about you, you chose to become an actress quite young, were you one of those little girls with the flair for putting on the show? “In hindsight, yes. I was constantly making my siblings act in little plays I’d written, with me – with me as the lead, of course!“
Of course, you are a natural leading lady! When did you officially transition from acting at home to making it your profession “It wasn’t until everyone was going off to university that I decided to pursue acting seriously. I had to give it a shot as there was nothing else I loved quite so much.” I think that takes a lot of courage. What advice would you give a girl, like yourself, who is off to start her life with a dream like yours?“To a young girl starting a career in the arts I would say work your butt off, it’s tough out there, and humility will get you nowhere. Be loud and your own biggest cheerleader.“
You have played many interesting roles since Outlander. One of them, Nancy Skerrett in Victoria. People LOVED Nancy, some didn’t even recognise you as the same person. They just couldn’t fathom how Nancy could be played by the same person who played Laoghaire. That is acting folks. Amazing, on the spot, damn fine ‘Nell’ acting!
Speaking of which, Nancy Skerrett’s life came to a tragic end. My heart – like many others, broke. Your death scene was just so incredibly SAD. “It was my first on-screen death! It was incredibly emotional for me, too. After playing Nancy for three years I had really fallen in love with her. It was, as you say, heartbreaking that she had to die just when she’d got her happy ending. I just had to be incredibly present in the moment for that scene – if I thought about it to much I might not have kept it together.“
But you did. I’m still mad at them for doing it. I had a long list of people thatshould have died over you. PFT! Anyway…If you could give Nancy Skerrett an alternative ending, what would it be?“That she and Francatelli lived happily ever after and had a ton of babies!”
That would have been lovely and I really would have watched ALL of that. We still do get to watch you outside of Outlander. In the Informer, Charlotte is a modern role, I loved it but it was a bit different seeing you in modern attire- acting.“It’s definitely less of a leap playing a modern part as you speak the same language. But period pieces are the opportunity to connect with humanity, whatever era people lived in the human experience remains the same.”
I can imagine as an actor with such a wide range, you would have people you would love to work with…who is on your list?“Oooh….I would love to work with (British Director) Mike Leigh, he really immerses his actors in their roles. Joanna Hogg is incredible. Lena Waithe. Taika Waititi. There are so many!“
With your versatile talent, I’d love to see you in one so, if you could choose a bio-pic to star in, who would you choose to play?“I’d bloody love to do a music biopic as it would be so fun to play a singer. I love singing and did it professionally for a while but was too stage-shy to perform as myself – so I could do it if I was pretending to be someone else! I always got told I look like Joni Mitchell growing up, and I love her music, so maybe her. Debbie Harry would be incredible, too.”
YES! Joni Mitchell is Canadian so ummm. Yeah. And Debbie Harry (Blondie) bc dang, look at you! Plus you cansing, Imma start 2 petitions. #NellForJoni#NellForDebbie
Nell doesn’t have to say many words for you to realize, she is a writer at heart. The way she answers the questions have a melody.
It shouldn’t be a big surprise to us that you have recently finished writing your own novel.“I have indeed! I’m really excited about it. It’s early days but I’m hoping to get it published. I come from a line of writers: my grandfather was Cyril Connolly (a noted critic and author of his day) and my Mum is Cressida Connolly, a best-selling fiction writer.”
That certainly shows it not only runs in the family but that the talent extends as the generations go on. Do you have an interest in writing other creative ventures?“Absolutely. I have a few script projects saved on my laptop. I’m concentrating on the novel, for now, but I would love to develop some screen work over time.”
What is about writing, that you are attracted to, do you think?“Writing for me is in many ways the antithesis to acting – I’m the one in charge for once! It’s complete escapism. If I feel like inhabiting a certain world I just write about it and I’m there. I think creativity is an energy and it has to come out somehow – for me it can be writing, writing songs, acting, drawing (badly), dancing…anything ! I couldn’t live without creative flow.“
I identify with this on a very deep level. Escapism is something I need – it is a part of my mental wellness, my therapy. You have been very honest with your own mental health and wellness. You share on your IG openly your struggles and victories. I find it incredibly encouraging for public figures, especially young women such as yourself having the courage to speak up about such personal issues. “Thank you so much for your support. It’s scary sharing that stuff because a small part of me knows that it could put off potential employers. And then I think, screw that. I’ve NEVER let my mental health affect my work, ever. And if someone judged me for talking about it then I might not want to work with them. I went through a period of depression in my early twenties and took medication for it, and I have anxiety, too. I don’t take any medication anymore, but it definitely helped me at the time. I’ve battled disordered eating in the past, too, which I think is important to talk about as I know so many actresses, and women, who have been through it. These days I’ve found that yoga and meditation, as well as a great support system of friends and family, are all I need. But emotions are like the weather, sometimes it’s grey, but it will pass.“
I always wish I could go back and kick myself in the ass to listen to my inner voice, earlier than I did. If you could give “little Nell” some advice, what would it be?“Awww this question is so moving, always. I would say speak to a doctor – would have saved a lot of time if I’d gone sooner. I would have said baby girl just DO.NOT.BOTHER. with the eating disorder. Please listen to me it’s a huge waste of time. And I would have said you will be ok, I love you.“
I do wish we all could learn to love ourselves fully earlier in our lives. Much like we allow pets to love us, like your pup, Maggie – who might have the BEST ears on Instagram.“Haha aw, thank you, I’ll pass that on to her. I found her on a farm in Abergavenny, Wales. I’d always wanted a dog and it just felt like the right time to get one. She chose me. I knew I was going to call my dog Maggie, and on our first meeting I called that name to her, and she came running. So I knew it was meant to be.”
We can tell she brings you a lot of happiness. What else brings youjoy? “I sound very Goop-y but I really do love yoga. Swimming in the sea, reading a great book. My main vice is going out for supper – I love eating out and trying new restaurants. But obviously I can’t do a lot of that at the moment. At least I’m saving money.”
OK, we are talking about food now, so it’s the perfect segway for my final question. The ABOotlanders have invited you to a fancy dinner and offered you a) Moose Droppings b) Beaver Tails c) Prairie Oysters d) Taber Corn. What do you choose.I have no idea what you’re talking about but Taber Corn sounds like the safest answer.
That’s what I like about Nell the most. She is “what you see is what youget” and at the same time, not at all basic. I am very grateful she gave us a peak into her life by being gracious enough to answer my questions by being featured in the Lovelander project.
If you are not familiar with the recap/review/ponderings of Outcandour – I suggest you check them out. Tracy has been taking us through the episodes since Season 3. She always identifies the core of what the episode is shouting at us and in her very unique way gives us the recap we wanted all along.
Tracy doesn’t give away much about herself in her writing except you quickly see she is highly intelligent, compassionate and damn, the woman is a deep thinker. It becomes obvious she researches what she speaks of, whether it is theological, Greek/Latin based or social issues. You can find these things in her writing and all are clearly composed for her readers.
I found ‘Outcandour’ in season 4 but didn’t nudge my way into Tracy’s life until the middle of the season. One, to support her by linking our blogs and two, to reach out. It is what we should do when we find people out there that we feel “Hey, I would like to have that person in my bubble.” I knew I could learn from her. She was gentle where I was rough. Her prose, eloquent where mine was, let’s just say unladylike *snort*, see? I enjoy the way I write. It’s only, different. I was drawn to her style. That is the reason I asked her to be featured in #TheLOVELANDERProject.
I know Tracy has many dedicated readers, I thought they would like to know about this incredible woman behind her words. I must say, she is just as lovely as I thought she would be. Actually, she is even better and I’m not even mad.
Classical music loving, Tracy, a self described awkward child, she grew up in southern California.Frizzy haired, thick eye browed and a step behind her peers in regards to the latest trends, she thought herself a late bloomer.Like many introverts, Tracy was quiet around people she wasn’t familiar with but goofy around her closest friends and her family. Being a good student, a rule follower, her love of books and athletics helped her build her confidence in senior high school. Thus developing into this woman we have grown to admire so much.
Tracy now lives in northern California with her husband and two young sons (ages 4 and 7). She is a small animal veterinarian. Hearing this was no surprise, even with only online interactions her compassionate nature shines through.
I wanted to know more about how Tracy found her way to her profession as a vet – “Like most people, I’ve always loved animals but I wasn’t someone who had wanted to be a veterinarian since a very young age. My uncle is a veterinarian so I saw a bit of the profession growing up. But I actually started college at the University of California, Irvine as an International Studies major. I thought I might want to work for the UN someday. I had to take a few basic science classes as part of my general undergrad education, and I actually ended up doing really well in them. I had never considered myself a science-y person until college, so I was happy to find that I not only really enjoyed biology but I actually understood it! So I took a few more science classes to explore that, then began considering veterinary medicine as something I might pursue. I began working as a veterinary assistant near the university (one of my friend’s fathers was a veterinarian), and then before my junior year I decided to transfer to UC Davis to study Animal Biology. After college I worked for three years as a veterinary technician in my hometown (huge shout-out to Dr. Edward Jezbera of Riverside) so I could get even more experience, and then I applied to veterinary school. I just celebrated the 10-year anniversary of my vet school graduation this week!“
Such a wonderful achievement. Congratulations on that. I could easily see you working with the UN as well *smile*
Having a young family is enough to keep any mom busy. Tracy is one of those women that I look at with a touch of awe and a side of ‘good on ‘er’- She is an avid runner, having completed four marathons. She and her family (pre-covid) are very active in sports, basketball, little league and soccer. This little family is a whirl wind of activity and laughter.
Tell us how Outcandour came to be. “I’ve always loved reading in-depth takes on television shows or movies. I’m that person watching movies with the director’s commentary turned on. Tom and Lorenzo are some of my favorite bloggers, and they used to write great recaps for Mad Men and Outlander. They stopped recapping Outlander during Season 2, and I found myself missing the sort of commentary I was used to. When Season 3 started I figured, why not attempt to write something myself? And thus Outcandour came into creation.“
When did your interest in Outlander start, Tracy? ” I discovered the show first during Season 1, after reading a number of articles praising its female gaze. I was hooked from the moment I saw those opening shots of Glen Coe with Caitriona’s voice narrating the mystery of what was about to unfold. I read all the novels in the Droughtlander between Seasons 2 and 3, and I’ve since read them all multiple times.“
Someone else in your family was a long time fan –My grandmother, who is 95, was amused when I discovered Outlander and started my blog. She read all the novels back in the 90s…like all Outlander fans, she wondered what had taken me so long!
I want to take a moment to remember Tracy’s grandmother, who since we did this initial interview has passed away. “Her name was Sherry, too! She was born Shirley but she always hated the association with Shirley Temple, so she went by Sherry her whole life. Her death wasn’t totally unexpected and she was suffering quite a bit at the end, so although it’s so painful I find some solace knowing that she’s finally at peace. Like all conversations that we wish we could remember, I can’t remember specifics as it relates to Outlander. I know she read the novels and I think perhaps Dragonfly in Amber might have been her favorite. She was rereadingit just a few years before she passed away. She was very proud of her English heritage and her outspoken nature, so I think she really identified with Claire.” Sherry, sounds like a woman we all would have been honoured to meet. I’m very sorry for your loss.
It seems there may be something hereditary going on there. 😘 That, and the compassion that comes out in your writing. Who or what would say were some of the bigger influences in your life? “Well, thank you for that! I’m not sure I can name only one thing or one person. Certainly, my parents are most responsible for instilling a sense of compassion and empathy in my life. My husband and sister are my best friends and I’d say they probably keep me the most honest. I was fortunate to have some truly great English teachers in middle and high school who really fostered my love of reading and critical thinking.“
Critical thinking, yes, that and a depth of knowledge of the subject matter. You introduce those aspects so clearly to the themes in your recaps – why do you think that is important to do – delve so deeply? “I could never presume to know what the Outlander writers ever intend, but I think it’s important to remember that they are writing intentionally and with their own artistic perspective in creating an adaptation. Sussing out an episode’s theme makes me appreciate the writing; I find I enjoy the episodes more if I try to look deeper. Hopefully my readers feel the same way.“
It is one of the comments I see often. Your readers thanking you for giving them a new perspective. It’s refreshing to have an unbiased view dig into the middle and work their way out. It is akin to reading comprehension but via a different medium. When did you realize you had this gift with words? “I’ve always really enjoyed writing. As I mentioned before, I had some really wonderful teachers growing up who gave me invaluable feedback and encouragement. And so much of my love for writing comes from my love of reading…I’m so jealous of beautiful prose that I’m anxious to create it myself.“
I’m curious, many writers have a certain process, where they feel comfortable gathering ideas, do you have a time or place you do your writing? “Usually while I’m running. I’ll start thinking about something, then pull out my phone to jot it down before I forget. Running really is mind-clearing for me. Otherwise I do most of my writing at the dining table after my kids are asleep.“
I find that fascinating…while you are running.It makes sense as your writing has such a flow and beauty to it. I am going to wonder aloud, if you were to write a book…I think you should…what genre do you think you would lean towards? “Hmmm, well, that might not be a totally theoretical question! *wink* So I don’t want to give too much away, but I will say it is an adaptation of a well-known story with a modern political and feminist slant.“
I completely agree, I seemed to have read them over and over until I knew the characters so well that I was “O.K. NOW, I can leave you all for a bit. *laugh* It was ridiculous. I now can read other genres, fluff and stuff but I do always return to them and they feel like home. Sort of like the show. I know you have a love of it, like I do. If you could put the five seasons in order of favourite…What order would you put them in? “Hmmm…well Season 1 will likely always be my favorite as it was the one to capture me with its magic and beauty. Then I suppose I would rank them as follows: 3, 5, 2, and 4. But, honestly, it’s only a hair’s difference that separates them in my mind…I have truly enjoyed them all.“
Same, same. Though I am a bit of a weirdo *shocking I know* I always seem to put the latest season as a favourite. I love them all. I hope it goes on til Diana is done with it. Is that likely? No one knows. What do you expect the future looks like for the show?*HUGE shrug* “I do get the impression that Season Six may be the last one…it is so rare for a premium television show to last longer than six seasons. I really hope I’m wrong, of course. I can definitely see a Lord John spinoff coming down the line, as well as a feature length film, similar to what Downton Abbey did.“
Anything is possible, I am happy we got anything at all. Now what’s your take on the books? Any thoughts or ideas? “As for the books…only Diana knows! I’m personally hoping to have all my conspiracy theories about Frank either confirmed or denied.” *wink*
Oooooh, I got some of those myself! So many things I am hoping are wrapped up all nice and neat – however, Diana has a lot more writing in her devious/delicious mind, I am sure.
It is due to that deliciously devious Diana mind that we have this huge community, this fandom. Which of course is the reason why we have come into each others lives. The fandom continues to grow every day, what do you find are the greatest joys and the biggest challenges of being a part of it? “I’d say the joy comes from the expansion of my world this fandom has given me. There are so many smart and thoughtful people I would have never known otherwise…present company included, of course! Of course! *snort* And I really love reading all the different opinions and takes on the episodes and characters. It’s fascinating to me that we can all watch the same thing and experience it so differently. Such is art! I think the challenges do come from that subjectivity, though. We all feel such a personal connection to Outlander that it’s hard not to be possessive of the characters and stories.“
Sometimes it does get to be a lot.It is lovely to see that much of the interaction you have online is positive and really respectful. “I find the engagement I get through the fandom, especially on Twitter and through my blog is very rewarding.“
It’s Droughtlander time and we are all going through some fandom pains, what is your advice for us to get through this? “It’s going to be a long one, isn’t it? I don’t have the most original advice…lots of reading, catching up on all the movies I’ve missed, discovering new shows, etc. I recently watched Normal People on Hulu and found it to be one of the most beautiful shows I’ve ever seen.“
Oh, Marianne and Connell absolutely broke my heart! I was bereft when I was done the last episode. Genuinely had a good sob. I was 15 again, watching that. *sigh*. It seems we have something else in common, any other shows you love? “Well, like most parents of young kids, I find that most of the shows watched in our house are children-oriented. Shows I’ve loved watching or catching up on recently include Call the Midwife, The Spanish Princess, Downton Abbey, and Mad Men. They’re all essentially period dramas that provide good social commentary on their times.“
That is one of the things I liked most about getting to know Tracy better. It solidified why I was drawn to her. This is a woman I personally don’t have a lot in common with, however, I admire her. We see things differently and we live contrasting existences yet we find ourselves seeking the others outlook. It really is how we grow as people, isn’t it? I want to thank Tracy for accepting the invite to be a featured guest with #TheLOVELANDERProject. If you want to follow her on twitter CLICK HERE . Fill up on some of her archived blog posts, by going back to the beginning, they age well, CLICK HERE.
Finally, our close out ABOotlanders silly Albertan question (which I am going to have to switch up soon because ya all are starting to figure them out- derp)
The ABOotlanders have invited Tracy to a fancy get together and we areletting her choose the main course.
What do you choose, Tracy? Moose Droppings, Beaver Tails, Prairie Oysters or Taber Corn? “Okay, well I know what Moose Droppings are from reading your previous installments of this series. So, I won’t pick that. I have no idea what any of these are! Are Prairie Oysters the same as Rocky Mountain Oysters (testicles?). I guess I’ll be brave and pick that!” See? Tracy is a smart one! That is exactly it. Prairie Oysters are bull testicles – they say they taste a lot like calamari or seasoned rubber, depending on your taste buds. This is Alberta so naturally, we have a Testicle Festival. That is not MY fault, Tracy picked this one.
Now with that wonderful thought in your head and taste in your mouth, I leave you with this. I do hope the fandom sees how truly lucky we are to have people such as Tracy in our orbit. She ‘overthinks Outlander for themasses’ so we can take a look through another window. When we take the time to see the different shades in a painting it creates a depth we may have missed.
Thank you so much for joining me for another edition of #TheLOVELANERProject. I have a great line-up that includes other fan accounts, cast members et al. in order to keep our gullets quenched during this Droughlander.
I am happy with how well received this project has been. Each person I have reached out to has been so open to taking part. So far, you have met or gotten to know Vida, Erin and Vinny. From the amount of attention, shares and feedback, it sounds like you are enjoying them all.
I’m not giving up names but I have many of your faviourite fan account interviews in the works,a few Outlander cast members have also agreed to be apart of The LOVELANDER Project ( I keep reaching out to more 🤞🏼) , Kikki Fleming and I have also done a fun lil somethin-somethin which I am waiting for the perfect time to release. I want to keep this going throughout Droughtlander, which means I don’t want to spray this all over your face and run out of content.
The LOVELANDER Project isn’t only the interviews. It is also a mindset during Droughtlander. Especially, this one. There is so much going on around the globe right now. Be it the pandemic, much needed demands for racial justice, our own country’s challenges and of course, our personal bubbles and stresses.
I attempt to ask questions on twitter than encourage people to engage. The questions are meant to focus on a positive space, if it only for a moment. There are times we need a moment to think about ourselves. To pull away from the madness for a while. This weekend there were tweets about things thatmake us happy and self-care.
These are some things I found this week that made me smile. I want to share them with you in the hopes they may do the same for you.
Scottish piper plays Amazing Grace at sunset to honour virus victims. CLICK HERE
Sri Lankan cafe owner feeds and shelters stranded tourists. CLICK HERE
A 9-year-old boy from Kenya builds a wooden handwashing machine and wins a presidential award. CLICK HERE
Man and his daughter deliver groceries to 120 seniors, as they need them. CLICK HERE
Stories about some everyday Canadian heroes. CLICK HERE
If you have found some feel good stories, please share them with us, we can all use a little escape!
I hope that you find #TheLOVELANDERProject a safe place to land every now and again, because that is all I want it to be.
Watch for another interview next week! I hope you love reading it as much I love bringing them to you.
I debated whether I would write about this episode, I also had an inner dialogue if I’d go my regular route of running further afield. Should I break my streak and face real talk? I have a rather, let’s say, intimate relationship with sexual assault and rape. I have spoken of it pretty openly. In my 30’s, I spent time working as a victim services coordinator which gave me an opportunity to sit with, walk beside and rage alongside women in impossible circumstances. Rape should never be brushed away. It happens often in our society now, we know damn well it happened in the past. In fact, it happened so often that it wasn’t even considered rape. It was considered a right by the aggressor and a duty by the victim. I decided not to take a deep dive there, this time. Droughtlander is going to be long, I do have some things I want to say and I will because I have plenty of time.
The finale was steeped in fear. I know we all have different ideas of what fear is. Motivational speakers like to say fear is “False Evidence Appearing Real”, and hey, I’m not knocking that mindset, hell, I have said it myself BUT when you have a boot being swung at your head that’s fucking scary and real, there is a legitimate reason to fear that.
Fear, like many things in this life – isn’t simple.
The series of events we witnessed were spurned by the deep-seated fears that Lionel Brownhad. Before someone thinks I am defending that piece of flaming garbage, I am not. People act with violence ‘because of’ and Lionel was acting through his hate for Claire and everything she was/represented. That hate constructed a fear he felt powerless with. In order to gain some dominance he recruited and included other men. This gave him the impression of strength and control. All the while, his fear and hate continued to build because Claire refused to cower to him.
Sadly, we can see this in ourselves. Naturally, the degree that Brown hits isn’t the norm for most of us🤞🏻 . When we ‘hate’ someone, that is mostly predicated by a perceived threat (or because someone we trust has told us we should). We may feel inadequate, powerless or somehow ashamed when we are exposed to them. Those feelings can cause us to lash out.
In Lionel’s case, they are exhibited in violent acts and rage. We aren’t complete misogynist slime balls so we react in a less vicious manner. We may be passive-aggressive, withhold kindness, gossip or spread rumours. It is a usual tactic to try and turn others against those who we have had felt threatened by, Lionel did exactly that with his men.
Lionel thought he had power over Claire when all along, she had power over him. Did it matter that Lionel’s wife refused his bed? No. He would beat her and raped her anyway. Did it matter that Claire made eye contact with him and called him out on shooting a man in the back? Not really, her accusations held no water legally. None of these things truly changed Lionel’slife BUT he invented Claire being a personal threat to him. He created that narrative and brought his friends along for the ride because when we get others to join in our treachery it validates it.
The big bad girl scared all of them with her big brain.
Let’s face it, spreading hate is especially easy when the one person fighting against it, is bound, gagged, beaten and raped into submission. When this kind of fear/hate finds it target, it becomes emboldened and so do those who follow it. When their target falls they use this as fuel for their hate.
This is something that we see regularly. Those who are oppressed, have to fight harder, be louder and they are still consistently beaten into silence – yet – they don’t give up. Those who are bullied, beaten, shot, denied work, incarcerated and forced to sit at tables alone…think about it. We see it onOutlanderon a dramatic scale, when we travel to the other points on the spectrum, there you will find us. It’s the human condition and not all of it is pleasant to look at.
No matter what side we are on, it’s embarrassing to be ‘in’ this society sometimes.
The show writers made it easy to despise Lionel. We don’t really give a shit if he was afraid of Claire, do we? That’s his own shrivelled up masculinity, too bad he couldn’t keep it to himself. All we wanted to see was that he and his buddies were punished.
The reality of that punishment, in this story, is that would also come from fear. I wanted to look at 2 of the characters that truly used their fear as fuel. This is why being aware of the scope of emotion is so important, why looking at life in black and white can be dangerous.
Marsali and Roger both used their fear as fuel. Marsali, has become aware of her worth as a women in a world that doesn’t especially find worth in her. This man not only threatened her and the child she carried by assaulting her, he tormented and raped her Ma. Brown was laying in the room with her, threatening to kill everyone on the ridge. Her experience with him tells her that he is not lying. These are not threats, these are promises. Marsali is not willing to live with this fear, she ends it the only way she can. I could hear the cheers across the Outlander fandom.
We have the ability to do the same in our lives. No, I am not advocating jabbing a big ole needle full of poison into someones neck, that’s pushin’ it.
Imagine for a moment, we have that person who is in our life that is constantly forcing toxicity into our life. We listen, take it in, allow it to seep into our days because we fear the fall out if we stop engaging. I know many of us can relate to this, afraid to hurt feeling. Confrontation is hard. Yet, here we allow ourselves to go through the stress for a harmful relationship out of fear of hurting the feelings of someone we don’t respect or even like. We need to love ourselves more than that.
Roger. Deep down is a pacifist but his fear was clearly build from love. His fear was for Claire and her safety. He used this to push through his natural instinct to be a man of peace, to fight for his family. We will find this with mothers and fathers regarding their children. It is why I was so happy to see Outlander utilize Roger in this way. His nature is not one of violence, yet, for his family, for the woman who is very much a mother to him, he will do whatever it takes. Even if it means stepping over a line that he will never forget crossing. We have those moments too, we are so terrified, we don’t know if we can do something, yet we do. Getting married, having kids, getting on that roller coaster, taking that promotion, buying that house, moving across the country, getting a divorce, getting help for that thing we don’t want anyone to know about. No matter what it is, if we think it is worth going for, we will push through that fear and do it.
This fear thing, we all live with it. It’s an emotion that we can learn to manage, understand and even embrace.
Now gimme a HUG! We all need it after this season. Let’s try and get through Droughtlander without too many injuries, eh?
It’s been approximately 12 hours since I watchedJourneycakefor the 5th time. I’m still not completely settled. To be honest, I feel like it beat the shit out of me.
*sssh* I know, self-inflicted. *blah blah blah*
As soon as I felt a little safe with a bit of happiness, laughter or joy BOOM – kick in the face with sadness, despair or pure fear. It may be partially due to my being in a vulnerable state but jeemziz, it was a doodiddlydoozey!
Do what ya can to get you through it!
I am diving in because if I don’t I will let my mind start wandering and it may never come back. All the dynamics of relationships were on display in this episode. Good, bad and deep dark-n-ugly. The beauty of it all, we can identify with each one and that is why they resonate with us. I want to throw a mental note at everyone, these blogs (even though I’m a book reader), are written in direct relation to the show and what happens on it.
I have always believed that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Some will fill one of those spaces and that’s kinda the way it’s meant to be. Not everyone we develop relationships with is meant to be in our life forever. Realistically, some who pass through may not have been put there for us, we may have been there for them. A by-product, for lack of a better word, of something they needed, to teach them a lesson of some kind. Meaning the reason may never be known to us.
This thread was so predominant with our characters in this episode. The opening scene was jarring yet speaks loudly about how people come into our life for a reason. Thedying girl, her connection to Roger, lasts mere moments though it will stay with him forever. We will never know who they were but she needed Roger. As she lay there suffering it was his gentle and merciful hands passing by to set her free from the pain. For that reason alone, they were meant to cross paths.
That meeting may have also been a catalyst to Roger’s desire to return to his own time sooner than later. This isn’t something a 20th-century history professor would ever have to worry about stumbling across, is it?
‘Dr. Rawlings’ made his way to Wilmington and everywhere in between, as unintentional as it was, it seems the reason stretched far beyond Claire’s objective. Women were getting medical advice that was unprecedented. Previous episodes foreshadowed it, where this episode solidified Claire’s life has been put in danger due to her connection with Dr. Rawlings.
Those three minutes on screen with Claire, Rose and Marsali were enough to give the audience a full view of what affects Dr. Rawlings has had. Rose Brown, whose reproductive choices were never her own now had some say, due to the knowledge inadvertently printed in that newspaper. No doubt saving a child being born to the hands of an abusive father.
We are aware that women have been controlled in many ways over the centuries, reproductively we were on the bottom, which is insane since we are the ONLY ones that have that particular superpower. We can easily assume that Rose was not the only one taking this advice. Whether it was because they were in an abusive relationship, had enough damn kids already or *gasp* simply did not want to have a child. We will need to hold the outcome of Dr. Rawlings as a separate entity from the purpose it may have had for the women who benefited from it.
We have those ‘seasonal’ relationships. You know the ones. They come into our lives and we feel like they are going to last forever, they change who we are at our core and then the relationship ends or changes to something less than it was.
With the MacKenzie’s leaving the ridge, we experienced these heartwrenching but beautiful goodbyes. In the land of the interwebs, we are luckier but we still go through them. A friendship, like Lizzie and Brianna, we feel will last forever. BFFs, we say. Forever is a long time though. We attach ourselves to people in times we have a need, they have a need. When those needs change or we change, often so will the relationship. Sure, sometimes our relationships can grow and change along with us however there are times they disappear with the seasons. We often see this as a bad thing instead of accepting it as a part of moving through life. This doesn’t make them less than, they likely taught us something wonderful about ourselves, pushed us through some harrowing times and created a soft place for us to land.
We often make the mistake of thinking those seasonal relationships of growing apart or ending as bad things. If we accepted it for what it was, we would be grateful for the experiences we shared, thank one another, hope we will cross paths again one day and move forward. Instead, we often end up burning a bridge or two because we aren’t sure how to end a relationship in a healthy way. It seems this is something Ian is struggling with. His desperate need to go back to change things with the woman he speaks of.
Otter-tooth attempted to go back in time to change the fate of his people. What was supposed to be a lifetime relationship became one of the seasons. The connection Otter-tooth ended up having with Claire, saved Roger from the Mowhawk but also become the catalyst of Ian finding a home with them. It was planned Ian would stay with them indefinitely except things happen that we can’t predict. These are the moments when our wishes get blown out like a candle.
Those instances can kick us in the back of the knees, can’t they? We think we have it all figured out. Know exactly what is happening with our life and suddenly something that we have no control over changes the trajectory, instantly. Without warning lifetime people fade into seasonals and the adjustment physically hurts. The ridge was alive with this while the MacKenzie’s said their goodbyes and why there were so many emotional reactions by viewers.
Our characters drove home a crucial point, our lifetime people don’t always have to be in our daily lives. Ulysses comes to mind. He has been a free man since Hector Cameron died yet he stayed as a loyal friend (viewed by all others, as a slave) to Jocasta. Never leaving her side until he was finally forced to. The bond that Ulysses and Jocasta had is not the kind that is lost with time or distance. It will be carried across the sea as it is an attachment that was sealed with trust (and you know, weasel killing).
Jamie may have spoken the words clearest during the scene with Bree. “Though I might not see any of you again, You have made my life whole.” Not all relationships within families are this deep. With Bree, Jemmy and yes, Roger, Jamie had been given the full family that he always desired. Whether he held them in his arms or in his heart, he had them and that mattered the most.
The reason why Jamie’s stalwart nature resonated with me is I had to stop and ask myself why isn’t he breaking? I could feel Claire. She was feeling the grief of her daughter, grandson and son-in-law, being gone from her. Jamie, being bold and yes, moved, missing them but then I saw it. He still held them in the very same spot they were as if he could touch them. Where Claire, like so many of us, have done, when our children leave home, move out of the province or country, saw them as untouchable – he saw them as within. Not only did it help him with the transition, but it also enabled him to support Claire better through her grief.
We also have those relationships. The ones that never end. Whether the person is gone from this earth or has moved far away. I have friends that I haven’t seen for years, might speak with a couple times a year yet I know, without a doubt, they are my people. The minute we end up in the same room, no time has passed and we are the same two idiots we always were.
Reflecting on the episode Journeycake makes me grateful for the ‘Outlander season’ part of my life. It has been a hell of a ride thus far. I have no idea how many years we have left on this rollercoaster of a fandom. We can’t even guess who will come into our lives or who will leave over that course of time. I do know that I have met some remarkable people as a result of me sticking my nose in all yer bizznizz and I have a feeling there will be more than a few of you stuck with me for a lifetime.
I am becoming a broken record this season with these ‘not a recaps’. Each episode is completely different from the last but in my view, each has a punch in the gut effect that stays with you long after. And with that, as the credits rolled on #FamousLastWords, that duet with Richard Rankin and Sophie Skelton – COME ON! I found it breathtaking. Each time I watched the episode (4 times, so far) I let it play and sat back to listen. I have never done that before this episode.
Once again, faced with so many topics to write about. All of them struck cords that I could go on about forEVA but I don’t want to do that. We seem to have nothing but time these days but I’m not going to take advantage of you. Not like that anyway. #winkawinka
There were questions of worth, grief bursts, traumatic flashbacks and worry all wrapped up in the characters we love so dearly. We were with all of our favourites, in all of the moments we needed to be with them. Whether we were hearing them or observing. The voyeurs in us were on high alert.
We saw once more, words aren’t needed to convey emotion. This time, it was Richard Rankins’s turn. Without a word or a whisper, we felt, deeply, what Roger was experiencing. His eyes, shoulders, neck muscles, brows and the set of his mouth gave us everything we needed to know about what was happening inside his head, heart and rooted within his soul. The people who love him, Brianna in particular, could see it too. She was especially in tune with what he was going through because she saw herself in him.
While trying to get through to Roger, Brianna brought up how she too, faced darkness and ugliness. I believe this moment was a catharsis for Brianna even though she was attempting to shake something loose in Roger. He still wasn’t in a place to hear her words. The wall he had built around himself was as impenetrable as his voice was stifled. Brianna though, for all of the times she sat in silence, fighting her demons, keeping them silent and masking the trauma she went through for the sake of others, she let it out. She put it in front of Roger that she is fighting. Every day. For her family and those words were what she needed to hear. Without realizing it, she was giving herself the advice she craved. The words Bree had been waiting for were within her, she only needed to say them out loud. She was directing them towards Roger however when we say things out loud, that is when we finally, truly, catch on. We, more often than not, won’t notice how we self-heal through our love of others.
There is one common thread each person on this earth shares. We all will lose someone we love. Sooner or later, it happens. In tandem, others will reach out to comfort us. When our grief is deep, there are no words, actions, cliches or casseroles that help. Making things better is contrary to reason.
Jamie asked Claire if there was a medicine in her time for grief. Time was as close as she could get, and even that isn’t a cure. We only get adept at integrating the grief into our everyday. We also must be honest, as shown in this episode. Grief is not reserved for the dead. We grieve people we lose that have not died but are no longer in our life, whether that is by our choice or theirs. We grieve parts of ourselves that we have lost, due to trauma or illness. Grief changes who we are and that is o.k.
Even though grief is something nearly everyone in this world has in common, it is as unique as each person and the relationship they have with the person/piece of them who/that has died. There may be ‘stages’ of grief but none of us walk them the same or follow the path the way it may be expected. We may think we know how someone feels but we can’t, not genuinely. We can empathize with their pain but knowing it would mean we know every corner of their heart/mind and that is impossible. Allowing someone their personal grief journey is a gift. Grief heals. Roger was grieving pieces of himself. Ian was grieving his tribe and more, Jamie grieving Murtagh. In the end, Claire was honest with Jamie. Letting him know there was nothing she could do, nothing anyone could do. Being a healer, she used the expression that brings her comfort. Time heals all wounds. To a degree of course. Scars are always left behind.
This is something we will all find ourselves doing. The words that bring us the most comfort, we share with others, hoping they have the same effect.
I want to touch on a brief and beautiful moment between Marsali and Young Ian. Marsali came to sit with Ian, speaking to him of their youth in Scotland. She reached out, reminiscing of family, siblings. It appeared that Marsali sensed Ian was moving about, untethered. Like a balloon about to fly away unless someone grabbed hold. She connected with him by chatting about her jealousy of his bustling Murray family. Mentioning how he must miss them, grasping at that string to pull him back. We saw the flicker of light appear in Ian’s eyes as he spoke of his sister Janet and when he admitted he did indeed missed his family. As Marsali’s pregnancy became more the focus in the conversation, Ian’s heaviness returned. Marsali knows family, her center is love and comfort. She did the best with what she had and I believe the seed she planted did help, a little.
That is why, no matter what we believe someone is going through. It is always good to find a step to sit on with them. We have moments we wonder “Should I bother?”, “They don’t seem receptive.” If you think a loved one might be hurting but you have a feeling you may be overstepping, say it – “I may be overstepping, and if I am, I will apologize. Today, I want you to know that I love you, that I am thinking of you and I’d like to hear how you are doing.” Is it always that easy? No, it isn’t. Many things in life aren’t but for those we love, we can take the chance. Marsassy did it.
Seeing Roger andIan amid dual struggles was both heartbreaking and became heartwarming. Both men, in very dark places, grappling with their pain to the point of not wanting to face it another day. Neither able to grasp how to move it out of the way. Roger was at what could have been his final moment. Facing the memory of being hanged, blacking out, almost strangled to death and Brianna’s face appeared to him. It wasn’t only Brianna, being his wife, that pulled him from the edge. It was his realization that on his previous brink of death, it was her, his love for her that he was bound to. In living colour with a powerful brightness, he envisioned this woman, whose love never wavered. A familiar saying comes to mind “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”
We often learn lessons at the perfect time and it seems to me this is what happened for Roger and Ian. They were moving in parallel through much of the episode. Once it was obvious what Ian’s intentions were, collective hearts were breaking for him and then, Roger comes in for the rescue. An unlikely hero, given the circumstances. Ian angrily says so when Roger interrupts his plans to end his life.
Roger doesn’t know what Ian’s story is but he knows what matters is that Ian lives. The reason being, he sees Ian in himself and HE wants to live. When Ian is unsure that he has the strength to carry on, Roger fortifies them both. He pleads with Ian to pick up his weapon, it doesn’t mean he has to use it, just pick it up to go home with him. One day he will be strong enough to fight again and together it will happen.
This was Roger’s way of gaining strength from his own words, just as Brianna did with him. We may get turned around and twisted in agony over the things we feel we should do, or have difficulty coping with. We feel lost and wonder how in the world we’ll make it through another tragedy or manage another day. Yet, someone we care for will be in that same head-space and we will have this astonishing amount of compassion for them. We will share uplifting stories of times we have pulled ourselves from the depths of despair or regale them with tales to lighten their heart. What a beautiful thing it would be if we would take that same time and compassion for ourselves when we felt ourselves getting turned around.
It is easier to give advice than it is to take it. It is especially easier to give it when you see yourself so clearly in the person you are sharing the advice with. Ian twice had moments of “you are one to talk” in this episode, first with Jamie – when he was trying to get Ian to open up to him. Ian clapped back with a ‘Hey pal, you and Claire have secrets – back off and let me have my own.’ Point made. Then again with Roger for stopping him from doing exactly what Ian figured he was about to do himself. The reason I bring this up is I think it’s a great life lesson moment.
When we are giving those bits of advice out to those we care about, it’s often because we see ourselves in them. It’s a good idea to be sure we have followed our own advice. Being truthful to ourselves is being honest in our actions. I assure you, if we haven’t, the one we are sharing with, may call our ass out on the carpet.
We learn a lot about ourselves when we listen to the advice we share. Our actions speak loudly about our character. I think we can see that with the characters I spoke of in #FamousLastWords. You and I, we identify with these characters on this TV show owing to their stories aren’t so different from our own. Sure, their arc is more dramatic on the whole yet, at the heart of it all, the feelings at the core. We get it.
That’s why we keep coming back.
PS – I need to add a note about John Bell coming back. I squealed, jumped out of my chair and was just THRILLED to bits. I slapped my husband’s leg so many times he was forced to finally say “OK, that is starting to hurt now.” to make me stop. Where John used to bring us smiles and much-needed levity on screen – we now are seeing the true depth of this young man’s talent. I am not sure I am ready for it but I am really feckin excited.
Join us Canadians for Live Tweeting with W Network on Sundays at 7 pm MT using the hashtag #OutlanderCAN
I will say that I have started and stopped this particular ‘not a recap’ half a dozen times already. I even wrote nearly a whole blog with another topic and trashed it. It’s not only because I was struggling with what to focus the blog on but because my thoughts were so all over the place, I had a difficult time wrangling them. I finally gave up and said, “What the hell, I’m just going to start…and keep going until I am done!” So, here we go. Fingers crossed this shit makes sense at the end.
I don’t have to go into how emotionally draining this episode was because so many others have, I am pretty sure there is online debriefing amongst fans due to the mass breakdown. Which went in a couple directions. I usually pull on a thread that catches my attention in the episode and unravel the why. This blog is a bit different than that.
The Ballad of Roger Mac came with loads to unpack, at first, I did struggle. I wanted to talk about control and how we truly have none except that over our own self. I wrote about the breakdown of one’s spirit. Nearly 1000 words in and I deleted the whole fucking thing because I was depressing myself. I did NOT need to feed to you – especially now. I closed my laptop and watched the episode, again.
Here I sit with thoughts of preparedness for the future. How that is more a concept than anything. We can prepare physically for what may happen but we are never truly prepared for how things make us feel. The wild, crazy ride of life that becomes intensely personal and all ours.
One way we can predict/prepare for our future is to assess our past. We don’t have to be psychic or psychotic to think we can see what is in our future. Our past behaviours in similar circumstances can lead us toward that vision. Often, the lessons we may have learned from situations can be helpful to determine what actions would be logical (or not) next time around.
Roger is attempting to unload a wagonful of burden before leaving Jemmy and Brianna. Thoughts of his father dying in WW2 enable him to picture himself in both his father’s shoes and Jemmy’s wee booties. He is more concerned about Jemmy not remembering him than he is about dying.
Brianna knows Roger more than anyone. She recognizes Roger’s pattern of behaviour. He puts his own safety in jeopardy to help others. “Act first, think later’ Roger. He has this horrible luck of not having a chance to think later because he’s been forced onto a ship, beaten silly, or tossed back into the idiot hut. You know, those things. We know, Rog, we know…
The worry Brianna feels as Roger heads out is not just because of the impending war but because she knows him to his core. He is a pacifist, she knows he will protect those he perceives as vulnerable, putting his life on the line without a thought. Bree knows Roger’s future will be filled with the compulsion to intercede on behalf of those suffering. Which as we have seen, given the closing scene of The Ballad of Roger Mac, may cost him everything.
Caretakers, we see you. Perhaps you aren’t as ‘idiot hutty’ as Roger manages but getting lost in moments where safety, whether physical, emotional or both are put aside in order to safeguard others, is commendable.
We are seeing this right now, all over the globe. Without proper PPE, tired and frustrated health care workers are going into work, missing their own families, to save the lives of others. I promise you, the caretakers doing this, their families will tell you, it is no surprise. These caretakers have been reacting to situations their whole lives with little regard to themselves. Their past predicted their reaction to this crisis, not the crisis itself.
Jamie has been on the wrong side of the law for as long as we’ve known him. In The Ballad of Roger Mac, we saw him move from the flimsy side of the crown to full-on rebel. Given his history, this wasn’t hard to anticipate. In the past, he turned his body over to save his wife. He plotted with his sister to give him over to the crown for the good of those at Lallybroch. As an indentured servant, he extended his life as a stable hand to be around his illegitimate son. He lived under a pseudonym, as a respectable printer to distribute seditious material and smuggle contraband. Jamie created a life of playing the game in order to achieve what he needed or wanted.
Murtagh was a man who was always prepared to die for what he believed in. Yes, he hated the red coats and undoubtedly believed in the regulator’s cause. Above all, he loved Jamie.
It wasn’t the oath that made Murtagh save Jamie’s life or that made Jamie want to save Murtagh’s. It was love. Jamie had lost his father – he had killed his Uncle – Murtagh was the last man standing that could show him. Show him what, you might ask. The ‘what’ are those now unknowns that we can never predict. It is needing their guidance of having lived ‘the whats’ and their ability to share them with us.
Even at 50, such a loss isn’t easy. It is like our foundation is shaken out from under us. We believed we knew what the world was going to look like and then someone strikes it with a hammer to shatter it into dust. How do we fix that? Is it possible to reimagine it? Will looking back help us see the future here?
It is deep breath time. Acceptance that living through it is to know it. This is the experience to learn from. This is the hurt from which we heal. Healing does not mean getting over or moving on or any of the thousand clichés we use. Healing means being present in our grief, giving it room to breathe while discovering our new normal. Creating a space for a new relationship with those we have lost.
That is how we can predict our future after a loss. It’s never easy. It’s messy and it hurts. People on TV will go through it in hyper speed but us? We need to do it our way. How we look at our loved ones in life can be what helps define that new every day we establish.
Claire, over and above, is reaching back into the past to straight-up create her future, hers is full of penicillin. Technically she’s reaching into the future (but it’s her past – it can get crazy confusing – especially for me who is easily confused 😋). Bringing her knowledge from becoming a surgeon further contributes to her life-saving abilities each day she spends in the 1700’s. There are lives she preserves simply by teaching folks basic hygiene.
How many of our ancestors do you think would still be alive if they didn’t have poop fingers? That’s a legit question, friends.
When Claire sees Jamie off to fight, their departure has a much different feel than Bree and Roger’s. She is his wife, of course, she has concern for his wellbeing. Claire is also exceedingly pragmatic. She puts complete trust in his word to her. In order to concentrate on what she needs to do, she puts her worry into his hands.
This tactic is one that many of us could learn from. Especially chronic worriers. I know they are out there.
I am validating the incredibly difficult times we are in right now. I am going to urge those struggling to go the way of Claire. For those overwhelmed by worry about those they love. Ask questions. Do you trust their intelligence? Are they capable human beings? If you answer yes to those. Trust them.
Tell them you are concerned and ask them to share their experiences with you. We tend to get so carried away with random thoughts we disconnect from the reality. Claire understands that Jamie has said, today isn’t the day we part for good. She trusts him and his words. Claire focuses on the things she can control, which are medicine and healing. She can not control each outcome but she does her level best with what she has. That is all any of us can do.
Imagine we could predict our futures to the letter. Having the information of when we would lose someone or we could foresee falling in love…we could never be truly prepared. We might picture the physicalities of the situation however the feelings we experience will always be new. Emotion is the element that can not be nailed down.
Claire used her knowledge of how wounds are created, faced off with that skeezy Lyle Asshat Brown. She accused him of shooting Isaiah Morton in the back. His manbaby ego is battered so badly he smashed her one and only syringe, like a toddler. Keenly aware of the consequences of his actions, Claire is horrified into silence.
Jamie knew he would be battling against Murtagh in this fight. He always knew there was a chance his Godfather could be killed, yet, when the moment came that he was. Grief took over.
Brianna wrestled with her fear that something terrible happened to Roger when he did not return to camp before the battle. She knew he was missing. Her worry was colouring everything in front of her. When faced with her husband hanging from a tree. Shock overcame her.
Emotion. Emotion. Emotion. It will often be the curve in the path to foreseeing what is ahead. I believe the key is to feel whatever it is you are feeling. Anger, fear, sadness or shock. Allow it to take its course, validate why it is there and know it’s all right. The less we suppress or deny our emotions, the sooner we move towards the future we envision.
I am sending you all love and hugs- virtual hugs because those I can give you, up close and personal.