Just because you can do it alone…doesn’t mean you should. S04E09 #Outlander

December 31, 2018 by Sherry W.

I am going to open this #TheBirdsandTheBees blog with a huge SIGH.

There. I feel better now I suggest all of you do the same. Deep breath in…let that sucker out. Feels better, doesn’t it? Episode 409 was one that made us hold our breath more than once. I want to talk about all the things that made me tear up…the things that made me rage and the things that made me just sigh with pure joy and happiness. That isn’t what my blog has been about this season though and I shouldn’t change that now.

This time for me, the loudest thing was the silence. Bree’s silence, in particular, was deafening.

I mean…really loud (source)

Like most of us, Brianna learned from those around her. To protect those we care about, we deny them the truth and shoulder the burden of our secrets. Her mother and father both did this for her. It is her natural go-to whether or not she understands it, almost like a reflex.

This young woman is so protective of those around her that she carries each worry on her own. She is taking such great care of Lizzie, that she holds onto the joy and heartbreak of her time with Roger. She keeps the subsequent violent rape at the hands of that sunnuva bastard piece of Bonnet to herself. Lizzie all but begs her to share her burdens but instead, Brianna holds them even tighter. Bree shows she is strong enough to weather any storm alone and as impressive as that might be, there is no reason for her to do it alone.

None.Not. One. (source)

Ian retells the horrid story to Brianna, of how Bonnet attacked the family on the river and stole Claire’s ring. She takes note of this and puts this in her own personal file as “Reason 132 why I should heap more onto my breaking heart to protect my mother and Jamie and not think of how it will eventually affect me”. Yes. Brianna, you are strong, you are mighty, you can handle all of the things, but should you?

We can see the toll that the secrets are taking on Brianna as the episode goes on (I would mention the meeting with her bio-da and reunion with her mama but I would just cry again and I have Bells-Palsy and my ugly cry is a butt-ugly cry so…no). Bree is distracted, uninterested in things that would usually thrill her, flustered and easy to anger. All normal reactions that happen when we are holding onto something toxic, they poison us from the inside and start showing on the outside. Claire notices, not just because she is in tune with her child but because it is like looking at a mirror. Claire does exactly the same thing when she is hiding something, the behaviour is familiar to her.

Like Mama, like daughter(source)

How often do we walk through life saying “I can do it on my own.” “I don’t need help.” Or “I’m fine by myself, I’m good.”? You know what? We probably are. It’s also probably hard and would be easier with help, it likely would feel better if we said “Sure, here…thank you.”, and simply allowed the person who offered to help, to do that, help. We struggle and we carry the heavy stuff all for…what? Who does it help? Who does it end up protecting? If we answer this question honestly we will often find out the answer is – no one. In fact, sometimes, it ends up hurting someone in one way or another. We become so busy protecting people we lose focus on the important things. We become so involved in hiding our hurt that we fail to see the other things going on around us.

Might be a bit dramatic but aren’t we all (source)

Brianna keeping the truth from Lizzie allowed her to create a story from the information she had. Something all of us do. We take visual cues and fill in the blanks, it is how the brain works. Brianna not telling anyone about the ring ensured no one knew who raped her. Leaving those doors open for further misunderstandings. Yes, Bree, you can do it alone – you definitely should not have. We all make mistakes, some repercussions cost more than others.

This one happens to be pretty expensive (source)

Jamie rounded out this picture for us at the end of the episode. He chose to go it alone. Demanding Lizzie not tell Claire or Brianna what was happening. Storming off to take care of who he thought was Brianna’s rapist. Just because you CAN do it alone…doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

The proof is in the pudding with this one…the pudding being poor Rogers beautiful face.

I just need to remember it like this. Pretty Roger. *sigh* (source)

We may be strong. We may be capable. We may be all of the things we think we should be. We also are allowed to be tired. We are allowed to lean on people. We are allowed to accept help without shame or regret. We never would tell a loved one they are weak for letting us help them, we would never tell a friend they couldn’t rely on us for a hug or an ear when they needed one – so someone please tell me why do we feel we are any different? Why should we be the exception?

I wish you the happiest of New Years.

I do, you know. Like, love love… (source)

With Love,

Sher (founder of the ABOotlanders)

Join us for Live tweeting while us Canadians watch on W Network Sunday nights at 8 pm MST. Use the hashtag #OutlanderCAN so we can find you!

The bonds that make us. When I went Down the Rabbit Hole Ep 07 #Outlander

December 17, 2018 by Sherry W.

Hard to believe we are over halfway through season 4. There have been so many heated, well thought out and random discussions in the fandom and then here I am…picking something out of the blue to yammer on about.

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I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. For the surprise appearances and how they made me feel. There were a lot of those…feels.

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I believe, like the characters in this episode showed us, the bonds created in our life help form who we become. They are huge contributors to developing our personalities and how we relate to others. Genetics is one thing but the influence of those we surround ourselves with and the interactions we end up having with those people is a large part of who we become.

We see a great deal of Brianna’s past in this episode. Not just in the literal past, but her past. The relationship she had with her father, Frank. Which I think most daughters can say, good or bad, help form who they become as women. That relationship will establish how deeply we trust, our loyalties and most important of all be a major contributor to the confidence we have (or don’t have). The father figure etches parts of us that we can’t recarve. It’s there. We can sand it back down but it takes work and it whittles away at the way it was. Brianna was blessed to have a beautiful experience and positive relationship with the father who raised her.

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This episode showed us, it doesn’t matter what we may think about Frank. Our opinion, our view of him, won’t ever be a reflection of Brianna’s experience. She was ‘Daddy’s Little Girl’ and even though that comes with its own set of challenges, Brianna has a deep love for her Daddy. She, of course, wants to be independent and strong, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t want his validation. Naturally, Claire’s determination and willfulness comes out in Bree and Frank handles it with a gentle hand, more so than he did with Claire. That in itself shows the care he had for Brianna and why she saw him the way she did.

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Brianna continued to seek Franks approval. Even after he died. Apologizing for arguing with him, not telling him she loved him, wishing she agreed to go with him to England and finally by promising him to “Soldier On”. Taking his final words to her and using them to fuel her journey to her mother. Seeing him on the dock at the end of the episode wasn’t simply a farewell. It was a moment of this is your time and bless and release. I saw this as the moment that Brianna finally understood what her father meant when he told her one day she would understand. She got it and knew it was time to go, head held high, with purpose, determination and her father with her.

Frank will never leave Brianna because he lives in her. He helped shape who she is, what she will accept in life, how she will trust, who she will be loyal to and how she will process and form new relationships. He is a part of her every day without being a physical part of her journey. It’s something people should get used to.

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I think Brianna’s grief over the loss of her parental bonds speaks very loudly in the person we see now. She is not broken…but there are cracks in the armour. Cracks she has to build walls around in order to feel safe. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love or feel. It means she protects herself from pain. She puts the feelings aside, in order to meet the task ahead, it seems to me that is what is keeping her upright. For now. Kudos to Sophie Skelton this episode. She did a fantastic job spanning all those years.

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There is another bond here that I found immensely interesting. It involves Laoghaire. Brilliantly portrayed by Nell Hudson. I know this because I really really do not like this woman, seeing her makes me make that face you make when you bite into something when you think its something else. Go ahead…take a moment to boo and hiss!

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You done?

Cool.

I don’t think we were shown “another side” of Laoghaire as much as we were shown her normal every day as a mother. She picked up a stranger off the road that was in distress, she fed, kept her comfortable, shared stories of her daughter and her life with her. All very motherly stuff. However, the ultimate defect in her character was compounded by the severed bond she had with Jamie. Just as solid and tender bonds help form who we become, so do the broken ones. Very often, the broken ones are the ones that create the traits we are less proud of and likely show less often.

We ALL know people that are lovely, wonderful people. They treat most others with kindness, they love their children and would do absolutely anything for them. But. They have “that person”. That person they despise. If that person’s name is mentioned…that lovely wonderful human turns into someone you never would have expected. The car keying, punch throwing, gossip spreading devil! Horns, spit, fire…they go off the deep end to get an ounce of satisfaction in hurting the person that has done them wrong.

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Am I sticking up for Laoghaire? Oh hell no! Am I saying Laoghaire reminds me of Karen down the street whose ex-husband married Rita? You betcha! Karen can be a real piece of work. Laoghaire takes shit to level 98, mostly because it’s TV and going to a level 5 just isn’t worthy of our visceral hate of her.

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You know who else demonstrated a bond in this episode? Roger. Richly played by Richard Rankin.

Roger, a man who chose to leave his own time for a woman he loves. Roger, who lost his own mother as a young boy. Roger who so innocently told a child there was no such a thing as a sea monster and later on – the young girl was thrown overboard by one.

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For a man like Roger, the horror of seeing suffering doesn’t break him, it does, embolden him. Roger, quickly formed a connection with a young mother aboard a ship full of strangers. Putting him in the position of protector, Roger takes risks he knows he shouldn’t but follows his morals above all else. He was determined to keep Morag and her child safe from certain death. The child’s teething rash was likely to be mistaken for smallpox and they would face the same fate as the others, tossed overboard. Roger actions were selfless and swift. Some may question his motives but I think it was simply Roger’s need to feel like he was doing something with all the chaos going on around him. This relationship with Morag and her son grounds him to the goodness he has inside. That goodness nearly cost him his life.

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You could see when he thought Bonnet meant to gamble Morag and the child’s life with a coin toss that he was horrified. Yet when it was his own life, he was scared, but he seemed resigned to it. As if, this was more acceptable to him.

Rogers word is his bond. He does not give it lightly but when he does, he will stake his life on it. Which means for the next 6 episodes, we are in for a damn interesting ride.

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Sher (ABOotlander Founder)

Don’t forget to join us ABOotlanders on Twitter while we live tweet while we watch on W Network Sundays at 8PM MST. We use the hashtag #OutlanderCAN and each weeks episode hashtag from Starz. We look forward to you joining us and our friends at Fancity, (who are also celebrating #FANMAS! Check them out)

Dear Roger and Bree: An Outlander love letter

October 13, 2018 by Sherry W.

The Droughtlander has been long and hard (that’s what she said – aren’t you glad I’m doing this again???) but we are almost there. Nov 4th is right around the corner, which means Season 4 of Outlander is perched and waiting to pounce.

We, as fans, have many things to look forward to while Outlander explores the new world by delving into Drums of Autumn.

By the end of season 3, we had a cute young couple Roger Wakefield and Brianna Randall.

https://media.giphy.com/media/3o7aD8sdw1gEXt1KAE/giphy.gif

See? Awwwww

By the end of season 4…they will have aged…A BUNCH (like Brianna can get much older than 200 and something?) I am referring to life experience here.

I won’t give away too much plot as that’d be rude but I will share my little love letter to this fantastic couple who you are all sure to fall head over heels in love with.

Dear Roger and Bree,

It started out crazy, didn’t it? Time travel. Dead fathers. Living in two different countries, separated by an ocean. Both of you wanting to be open to love and willing to sacrifice parts of yourselves in order to achieve it. Funny thing, that. Being willing often opens that door big and wide. I’m afraid both of you will be walking right through it.

You were born into the world of Outlander. This world does not go gently for those who love deeply. It will test you. It will punch you in the throat, ask you if you are ok and when you nod…it will punch you again. It doesn’t sound very hopeful, I know. The truth of it is, it wouldn’t be if you didn’t have one another. But you do.

Roger, you are loyal and love deeply. Some might say your love is raw, I would agree because I am the one that says it. You are worthy, dude. So damn worthy. You don’t deserve the shit mountain you need to climb in order to become the man you do. I’ll say this though, many of those things were the spark that lit the fire that burns in Roger Mac, as we will know him to be. You could have chosen to become bitter and full of hate – instead, you chose to be better and full of dead sexiness…*ahem*…sorry…full of dead sexiness. Sorry. I’m stuck.

There is a young woman, that has stolen your heart. You are a gentleman and a fool for her all at the same time. If I didn’t know what an incredible love story this was going to be, I would tell you to get in your orange morris and hit the gas.

Bree, you are so misunderstood. Young, smart, headstrong and when we meet you as a young adult you have just lost the only father you knew. You were understandably distraught during a time when you were coming into your own as a woman. Being told your recently dead dad wasn’t your biological father was a real kick in the teeth. Those watching from the outside thought you should have been thrilled to have a Scottish warrior father from another century floating around but I get it. That’s a lot of shit to take in. Sure, you are a quick-tempered and cerebral- given who ALL your parents are, you really didn’t have a fighting chance. There was no possibility of you being mild-mannered or artificial.

When your mom was having the sex talk with you, I wish she would have mentioned the trials of jumping into situations without thinking about the consequences because, well, she should have learned it would have been a great lesson to pass on to her daughter. Alas, it wasn’t a thing and now…you will go through the same level of IDGAFs as your mom and both you and the man that you love will suffer for it. Granted, that IDGAF attitude of yours makes you stand up and out. You can pretty much deal with anything that gets thrown in your path – it’s a definite case of taking the good with the bad, I suppose.

The truth of it kids, all the crazy shit that you go through is your story. We have watched you both grow up in snippets. You are a part of the next generation of Outlander and we could NOT be more excited to watch all the bumps, turns, free falls and LOVE that you will be showing us.

Love,

Me.

AKA – Sher (Founder of the ABOotlanders)

P.S. Sophie Skelton and Richard Rankin fit into their Bree and Roger puzzle pieces perfectly. I am SO JAZZED to watch these two bring this love story to life.

Remember to watch and tweet with us and your fellow Canadian friends using #OutlanderCAN while watching Outlander on W Network!

Outlander BedtimeStories. #Hubservations while I am his Audiobook

November 14, 2017 by Sherry W.

Our first round of Bedtimes stories started because of the initial Droughtlander and my husband’s inability to wait for anything. Like ANYTHING – when he knows the answer is right there. I only have to tell him. He really enjoyed the TV show & knew the books were out there – however not being a reader – there was a problem…unless he could get someone to read them to him. WELL GEE!

: I’d be THRILLED to…like really!

#BedtimeStories were born. Sometimes I read and he is silent & enjoys. Sometimes, he is contemplative. Sometimes there are tears or laughter. Often…smart ass comments erupt from him. As I read “Jamie gingerly….blah de blah Claire blah.” He pipes up with “Doesnt he do EVERYTHING gingerly? Get it?” Yeah MasterDad joker, I get it.

I stopped keeping my phone in my room at night around A Breath of Snow & Ashes so I haven’t tweeted his witty remarks as they come. They are jotted down in a note book…maybe slightly illegible but we’ll wait till we are done reading Written in My Own Hearts Blood to do that shall we?

If you have NOT read the books. Stop reading now. Hubbychilds comments are SPOILERS. Not just little spoilers…BIG WHOPPING RUIN YOUR OUTLANDER EXPERIENCE SPOILERS! If you havent read the books…and you read ANY further than this line. It is your own damn fault. You made a choice and it was probably the wrong one. So…with that being said, you are not allowed to leave comments or send me DMs scolding me for throwing spoilers out to the world. Just because the cookies are there…didn’t mean you had to eat them.

The following hubservations are from Voyager on up to a piece of A Breath of Snow & Ashes. So again, I warn you. SPOILERS ARE AHEAD. Can you tell someone has smacked my nose with a newspaper over this before? Uh-huh.

As we closed the pages of Dragonfly In Amber…my husband made an interesting observation. For the record…Me…Diana…and Caitriona…and any other girl person in a Disney movie (thats fairly recent so it might be an age thing)

: This was more than a couple years ago now…so…the list is longer; We pick up somewhere in Voyager.

: Lover of the craziness. Explains a lot eh?

: Sometimes I wondered if he read ahead on me…and then…reality

: I wasn’t afraid of dreaming it…why should he be?

: Seriously. I hate when he guesses right & I have to NOT yell it at him

: Its like Claires own version of Rock, paper, scissors.

: Its a pretty specific Canadian reference there folks…them Newfoundlanders. LOVE.

: I only laughed because…it was funny.

You know…my sweet hubbychild has always been a little jealous of Jamie. Calling him my boyfriend etc. I have compiled some of his comments throughout storytime…enjoy.

: He really did say that…I was there.

Lets take a look at what he thought during Drums of Authumn shall we?

: He’s pretty???

: My husband was a chef in the military…he had 2 bears (different times &locations) jump onto his kitchen trailer…both times…he screamed like a girl and ran out the back door. Like a smart man would.

: Saying it might have got him a smack.

: Uh-huh…I’m SURE that is what he meant. He didn’t.

: The “Willies a lil snot” chronicles…by my husband

: I think he has a HUGE point here…HUGE…biggest point ever…not like any other point.

: He’s a fan of dirty lady mouths…since you know…his wife has one.

: This is the moment…everyone was yelling the same thing at Jamie…UGH. Men!

You may be able to tell…my husband doesn’t like it when people don’t communicate. He notices a common theme with Claire.

At least he knows the character well enough to know…Drinking helps. A lot.

There is one character over all the others my husband feels bad for…its poor wee Rog. It sure entertains me to listen to him yak about him. And he has a face now. Richard Rankin…we adore you. We feel sorry for you…but we adore you.

I believe its an accurate assumption…don’t you???

I know you probably feel like meh…this is good. I read enough. I don’t need to hear her husbands ramblings any more…but…since I planned to write this all out…I’m doing it. Feel free to bookmark this and come back later to finish up…