It’s Not About You. My take away from the #OutlanderFinale #ManofWorth.

Funny, the way things happen.  All season I have been happily live-tweeting our #OutlanderCAN hashtag each episode as they air on W Network, here in Canada. I then ponder over each episode to try and pull something not so obvious from it.  I have gotten decent feedback most of the time and am pretty proud of what I have done in both departments.

It so happens that during the airing of season 4’s finale, I ended up in the emergency department of my local health center and then whisked to the hospital for testing. What was I thinking about? Well…my imminent death or loss of a limb was first in my mind but I was also thinking about not being there to live tweet.  I’m not even shitting you. I was thinking about that. So I tweeted to apologize and explain why I wouldn’t be there. Like people cared like I did. I mean, come on.

giphy-19

Really, not. (source)

There is where the “not so obvious” for the season finale popped up for me.  It’s not about you. The season finale wasn’t about me being there to live tweet or not, how important do I think I am anyway? 🙄 There were many instances  I could easily say that to a character during the episode.  I also find it amazing how often this happens in our every day.  We tend to personalize other peoples behaviour, internalize it and make it about ourselves.  We will get it in our heads that other people get up in the morning just to make ‘our‘ day more difficult.  A little FYI, that usually isn’t a thing. Most peoples objective is to do things “for” themselves, not “against” someone else.  This is not to say there is not collateral damage, there always is. That usually isn’t their intent.

The opening title card scene we see two young boys running around playing what they are taught to believe is an innocent child’s game of “Cowboys and Indians.” Watching is a proud Native American man that we later realize is Otter-Tooth because of the gemstone around his neck.  This is not about the children, this is not about the ignorance of the systematic racism that caused us to believe this game wasn’t hurting anyone. This is about the man on the bench, the history of his people being changed and being replaced by society.

Claire, Ian and Jamie make their way into the Mohawk village looking for Roger. They know he is there. All three are trying to wheel and deal to get him back.  Claire ends up with her scarf off and Otter-tooths gemstone exposed.  This causes many in the tribe to gasp in fright and move away. Claire and Jamie’s first reaction is to calm them down, say they mean no harm, they want to help, to trade.  Their immediate first thoughts are about what they can do for them. This isn’t about you Claire. This isn’t even about the tribe. This is about the gemstone. It is about the fear the tribe has for what that gemstone represents.

Murtagh has more than a few “this ain’t about you” buddy moments.  What I found very interesting was it was Ulysses that silently gave him a lesson. Murtagh and Jocasta are discussing Brianna’s impending marriage to LJG. Which, Murtagh is taking very personally.  There was one point when the discussion between Jocasta and Murtagh went from curt to argumentative. We could only see Ulysses’s hands- he went from gently holding them in front of him to loose fists at his side. Signalling protection. When Jocasta decides to leave Murtagh to his food, Ulysses takes her arm and offers Murtagh his assistance but with a very curt manner, the extra eyebrow added all we needed to know in this scene.  Jocasta and Ulysses were letting Murtagh know Brianna’s future…not about you dude.  Little did they know…it wasn’t about them either.

Going back to Otter-tooth for a little bit.  I know people get upset about the story here, about his message of killing all the white people, of the war he wanted to lead in order to save his people. It upsets me too but maybe for different reasons. It upsets me because it would seem like the logical thing to do if I were in his place.  If I were to be 100% honest with myself, which is not an easy task in any event, what he was saying would be the most effective way to save his people.  It’s brutal and it is ugly, so is what the Native Americans and First Nations people of North America went through because of colonization. So, for this one. It’s not about you. Or me. Or any of the people Otter-tooth wanted to save his people and his history from. It was about the Mohawk and what they ultimately went through.

We finally get to Roger. Finally. Naturally, there is this crazy “no take-backsies” going on but since trading seems to be the currency in all things, even peopley things, Jamie offers himself up.  Young Ian goes to work something out, in this, he thinks he is a better deal than the old gingersnap.  Jamie is caught off guard, assumes he will rescue Ian away or Young Ian will escape when Ian shuts him down.  This isn’t about you Uncle Jamie.  Young Ian swore to the Mohawk, he gave them his word.  He would stay with them, in return, Roger could go with Jamie and Claire, back to Brianna. Sweet Young Ian was taking responsibility for his actions as well as making a choice for his future. One that didn’t have anything to do with anyone else.  Sometimes the choices others make can hurt us but they aren’t making them ‘to‘ hurt us.  We have to be aware of that.

So, off goes Roger with Claire and Jamie.  The first opportunity he gets to put a beating on Jamie, he takes it.  I don’t blame him in the least. Apparently, neither does Jamie.  Claire tries to stop him but Jamie knows, this is what Roger needs right now.  I believe Jamie also wants Roger to let loose on him.  His form of penance so to speak.  In a way, Jamie is making Roger’s rage about him in order to rid himself of some of the guilt he feels over what he has done. Error in judgement or not, he owns it, as he should.

When Roger doesn’t go back with them to River Run right away, I don’t think it about the news that Brianna’s baby is possibly Bonnet’s.  I think it is more about staying in the past. This has never been the plan.  This is a new thing.  It not just about Roger and Bree and their future anymore. It is about being a family in a completely different time. It is about living in a family with a man that damn near beat you to death and sold you to the Mohawk.  It’s about living in a time when your wife was raped.  This is a dangerous world and making the choice to live there.  Making a choice like that without taking a moment to think would be doing a disservice to yourself and to the one you love. Not to mention all the people that will end up in your life as you move forward. This is a case of it’s not just about you.

Brianna was the one that was the victim of so much “It’s not about you” that it was painful to watch.  Only because she did personalize so much of it.  I was thankful that the birthing scene was Bree focused. It showed her strength, tenacity, ability and her dedication to doing this thing on her own when everything came down to it.  Yes, she had her aunt there, her friends but ultimately, giving birth is about a mother and her child. There is no need a secondary narrative to focus on there. When Bree held her son for the first time, this story became about him now. That was her choice. Her love for him shone through.

When Claire and Jamie arrived back at River Run without Roger, the look that came over Bree’s face when she realized he wasn’t with them was pure heartache. It wasn’t about her but we all do what Bree did. She was personalizing Roger not coming back. Very likely creating a story in her head to match the pain she was feeling. It is such a common mechanism for us humans and so often our imaginations don’t match the reality. We replay other peoples choices like we have control over them. It is this weird dance we do. If I had done a, b or c.  Only, it doesn’t work like that because they will always make the choices they want to no matter what we do. Roger does return to her though, as I knew he would. He returns to claim her as his wife and the baby as his son.  It isn’t about any one person, it becomes about them as a family.

As Red Coats come riding up to River Run everyone assumes they are after Murtagh because he is, after all, the local fugitive in hiding. Jocasta and Murtagh share a little tête-à-tête that both Claire and Jamie witness and share their WTF faces. It’s ok guys, THIS little love affair…isn’t about you, so step off.  Aunty Jo is getting herself some Silver Foxtail on the side and won’t be listening to any of your nonsense about it.

dafuq

Daactualfuq?

Last and certainly not least is the not so love letter from Governor Tryon. Jamie is expected to follow his beck and call.  In this case, that means whippin’ up a militia and hunting down and killing Murtagh.

Well, Tryon, I know he likes to think everyone is just clamouring to serve him and his brilliant red coat wearing English army but here is the thing, they aren’t. No matter what Jamie’s obligation is to him we know that Jamie’s first obligation is to his family. It always has been and will be. Gov. Tryon happens to think this whole Regulator thing is me against them. That is where he is wrong. The Regulators have said from the start, they are more than willing to pay taxes, they are not willing to pay for the elites shitty castles and corruption. Plain as day, Gov. Tryon. Not. About. You. It’s about the people he is supposed to be helping.  If he were to take the same amount of time he takes to fight them and listen to them instead, he might learn from them.  Even this shows us we often make up our minds because we feel attacked when someone disagrees with us.  Instead of listening we react. So much can be lost when all of that noise is happening.

Imagine. 13 weeks of Outlander is already gone. POOF!  I absolutely loved this season.  Every episode I enjoyed for different reasons and I was able to learn a little something in the hidden corners that helped me realize the writers, directors, cast and crew give so much to it.  Still, Outlander isn’t about me.

It’s about so many people.  Too many people to ever keep track of or make happy and that’s o.k. too. Want to know why? That is what makes life interesting. We can have animated conversations. We can discuss what we love, what we don’t and the things we missed and maybe why we think things were done the way they were.  What I think the secret might be is respecting one another’s views and opinions as just that. Personal opinions based on personal experiences. They don’t have to assume someone else’s intent or be presented as facts. We can have fun with it because when it comes down to it, this thing called Outlander is a TV show that is created for our entertainment. It is supposed to bring up emotions. All of them. That is what makes great TV.

I’m not going to stop blogging over #Droughtlander, granted, I probably won’t do one once a week. I hope that we can keep each other company, stay engaged and not lose focus of what brought us together in the first place. A great story.

Sher (Founder of the #ABOotlanders)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Safety is key. Unlocking my Ep10 thoughts. #Outlander

We experienced yet another powerful episode with The Deep Heart’s Core.  Season 4 just keeps my brain in gear which I am not sure is such a great thing cuz I think it might be getting warped from overuse. It certainly has refreshed all those years of human behaviour seminars I took back in the day.

I don’t exactly do recaps with my blog this season, I kind of pick something that stands out to me. You might be on the same wavelength I am (if that is the case, you may want to seek help because I am not sure that’s altogether healthy) and you will think to yourself…well OBVIOUSLY…in that case, I suppose I’m not as unique as my mother told me I was.

This episode was not a comfortable one. I don’t think it was written to be. In fact, I think it was meant to give you that feeling of discomfort. Of being unsettled and not feeling right in your own skin, like things were ready to fall apart at any time.

Let’s open with the conversation Bree had with her bio-Da about her rape.  That in itself shows us that Brianna feels a certain level of trust with Jamie now. She is asking for his help in processing the trauma she has experienced. She doesn’t need to give him names, dates or details to share her pain. Most victims can tell you that isn’t how it works. The things they need to let go of first are the could haves, would haves, should haves.  Shedding the blame, guilt and shame are critical to recovery. Survivors do this with people they feel safe with.

Jamie experienced these things himself.  He knows the process she has to go through. Claire took him through it.  He put himself in front of his daughter, angered her and brought forth her rage (as Claire had) in order to show her that no matter how hard she fought that sunnuvabitch Bonnet, he would have taken from her what he did and likely, she would have gotten herself killed in the process.  In the end, Bree wasn’t angry with Jamie for overpowering her, saying cruel and hurtful things to her – once she realized why he had done it. In fact, she felt safer with him. So safe that she reached further inside his heart and questioned him about his own experience with rape.

Jamie was raped by Jack Randall.  He didn’t fight either.  He didn’t fight because he gave his word in return for Claire’s life – which means at its core it was out of fear.  Fear for her.  That Jamie was able to share the truth of this with his daughter opened up a door to their relationship – in which Bree stormed through later on in the episode.

Let’s talk about that door now, why wait?  Bree found out Roger made his way to the ridge and subsequently, what happened to him. The Fraser Fury was unleashed like…well…a Fraser unleashes their fury.  There were a lot of words, a lot of confusion and amoung that,  Jamie misunderstood what Bree was saying and heard her say that she had sex with Roger then fought with him- he mistook those words and thought Brianna claimed she was raped by him in anger. Jamie’s Fraser Fury mixed with Brianna’s – as you can imagine, that went up like a bomb.

Bree lashed out, slapping him. Hard. He let her. Why do I believe he let her?  Jamie showed us earlier in the episode that he could stop her from hitting him if he chose to.  Do Bree’s words hurt Jamie? Of course they do but does he know they help her more by her saying them? Yes. Jamie opened that door to his daughter earlier in the episode. That she would feel safe enough to say or do anything to him and know that he would be there to love and care for her no matter what. It is also why he said nothing when she yelled at him that he wasn’t allowed to be angrier than she was.  Jamie heard her words and accepted them.  It is something many of us don’t do when we are angry because we are too busy giving that anger to others in the form of hurting them back.  Jamie had helped create that safe space for Brianna earlier in the episode, even though he screwed up when he lashed out with his words, he backed up and gave that safety net back to her instead of closing it off again.

Bree knows that Jamie loves her. She does love Jamie, otherwise, she wouldn’t even care enough to try to hurt him. She wouldn’t pull out the Frank card to make him hurt like she is hurting.  That is what many of us are guilty of, isn’t it?  When we are in so much pain that we want that person to feel it too? We try and cut them that deep. We go for the one thing we know will get them?  She points out Frank would never have said the things Jamie just said to her. Her statement is not baseless, Jamie did just accuse her of lying about being raped, it was ugly and it was hurtful.  She lashed out in her own ugly and hurtful way.  I am not saying this is the right way to fight with family, however, I see that it is the way a lot of families fight. Good, bad or ugly we can say and do things within those walls and know forgiveness is available to us.

Jamie is being a father more than ever at this moment by letting his daughter feel, process and allowing her to use him to do it. He knows what he did and what he said was hurtful. He is attempting to move forward and doing what he can to make it right. Like at the beginning of the episode, he knows it isn’t about his words, but his actions.  He isn’t begging her to forgive him because he knows forgiveness needs to be earned and she must go through the steps to get there.  All he can do is what he has promised and allow Brianna the time to meet him in the middle.

Plus, Brianna is pregnant. Here I am remembering what a shit show of emotions that was like WITHOUT adding in all of this craziness and confusion to it. My heart ached for her this episode. Stepping back and seeing it all from where she stands. Taking away all of the confusion and miscommunication and blame we can lay down. Purely the circumstance of what can be lost – Brianna – that she is still upright, is impressive.

I think the previous commentary answers the why of Brianna not telling Lizzie about that sunnuvabitch Bonnet and the rape. Why Brianna didn’t subsequently hold Lizzie responsible for Roger’s current circumstances.  Brianna feels like she is the one protecting Lizzie so it doesn’t occur to her to share that kind of pain with her.  Brianna wouldn’t feel confident Lizzie could handle that level of anger from her without it completely damaging the relationship they have.  Brianna doesn’t have the kind of relationship with Lizzie that screams: “I feel safe with you, I can be vulnerable with you.” We won’t expose our innermost thoughts to those people in our lives, we don’t see that it serves a purpose. Of course…hindsight…

The relationship between Jamie and Claire right now is something so quiet and reserved that I know I see it differently than many. I see it sitting in the “safe zone”.  Claire is being fiercely protective of Brianna in this episode which I completely understand.  She made the choice to come back to Jamie and in that, leaving her daughter. We have seen her struggle with that choice repeatedly over the last 2 seasons.  With Bree now in the past with them, Claire has been so intuned with her daughter, grief-stricken by her pain and riddled with guilt over Bree’s rape.

She and Jamie are becoming parents together for the first time. They are parenting an adult daughter that is dealing with some pretty heavy shit.  This is not a rainbows and unicorn little house on the prairie universe.  When the Fraser fury is released Claire goes to the Fraser that needs her comfort the most. Their daughter. Jamie knows it, Claire knows it.

Claire has a whole lot going on in the episode, yet she is pretty quiet. She is angry with the whole situation, you can see she is upset with herself for not telling Jamie about that sunnuvabitch Bonnet. The resignation when she places the ring on the table becomes a quiet communication between them. Jamie and Claire have been through many storms, arguments and this is yet another bump in their road. Like most committed couples, they will learn from one another and whatever circumstance they have created for themselves.  I was relieved to see Claire being fiercely protective of Brianna. This wasn’t against anyone, it was for her child. I think we can forget that sometimes, that we can be in someone’s corner and stand up for them but that doesn’t mean we are fighting or belittling others in order to do it.  The relationship Jamie and Claire have is one of mutual respect and love.  That is security, it means they have the ability to get angry, disagree and fight. All the while knowing they will come back to one another because their love and respect for one another are bigger than all the other stuff happening around them.

Roger Roger Roger.  I can’t let this one go without talking about Roger. Of course he doesn’t feel safe! Who the hell are we kidding?  The #PoorRoger hashtag is getting out of control. This guy is becoming the energizer bunny of Outlander, the punishment gets handed over to him…he takes it…puts it in his pocket…gives it a tap and says “All safe with me” and then extends his hand and says “Got anymore where that came from?”

#PoorRoger. See?  He is getting dragged around like a goat on a rope from the top of the episode. He has company though and shares a kinship with this fella, safety in companionship I suppose. He chats with him along the way, is his motivational coach and one morning, his companion – dead.  That’s uplifting.  Sure to bring Roger the glimmer of hope and keep him looking forward?

Not really but Roger brings us to the end of the episode facing the one thing that is absolutely certain to bring him back to safety. He can have a warm bath, a sane Scottish lass (I will hop on the #FIOGER ship) and you know, not getting recaptured by the Mohawk…all with one touch.

The question is will Roger feel safer in the future or in the arms of Brianna? I know what I want him to do! I guess his safety isn’t my first thought, does that make me a horrible person?

Thanks for reading, if you made it this far.

Sher ( founder of the ABOotlanders)

Please join us for our Live Tweeting as we watch on W Network at 8pm MST Sunday nights, using the hashtag #OutlanderCAN

 

 

The bonds that make us. When I went Down the Rabbit Hole Ep 07 #Outlander

Hard to believe we are over halfway through season 4.  There have been so many heated, well thought out and random discussions in the fandom and then here I am…picking something out of the blue to yammer on about.

I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. For the surprise appearances and how they made me feel. There were a lot of those…feels.

I believe, like the characters in this episode showed us, the bonds created in our life help form who we become. They are huge contributors to developing our personalities and how we relate to others.  Genetics is one thing but the influence of those we surround ourselves with and the interactions we end up having with those people is a large part of who we become.

We see a great deal of Brianna’s past in this episode. Not just in the literal past, but her past. The relationship she had with her father, Frank.  Which I think most daughters can say, good or bad, help form who they become as women.  That relationship will establish how deeply we trust, our loyalties and most important of all be a major contributor to the confidence we have (or don’t have).  The father figure etches parts of us that we can’t recarve.  It’s there.  We can sand it back down but it takes work and it whittles away at the way it was.  Brianna was blessed to have a beautiful experience and positive relationship with the father who raised her.

This episode showed us, it doesn’t matter what we may think about Frank. Our opinion, our view of him, won’t ever be a reflection of Brianna’s experience.  She was ‘Daddy’s Little Girl’ and even though that comes with its own set of challenges, Brianna has a deep love for her Daddy.  She, of course, wants to be independent and strong, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t want his validation.  Naturally, Claire’s determination and willfulness comes out in Bree and Frank handles it with a gentle hand, more so than he did with Claire. That in itself shows the care he had for Brianna and why she saw him the way she did.

Brianna continued to seek Franks approval. Even after he died.  Apologizing for arguing with him, not telling him she loved him, wishing she agreed to go with him to England and finally by promising him to “Soldier On”.  Taking his final words to her and using them to fuel her journey to her mother.  Seeing him on the dock at the end of the episode wasn’t simply a farewell. It was a moment of this is your time and bless and release. I saw this as the moment that Brianna finally understood what her father meant when he told her one day she would understand. She got it and knew it was time to go, head held high, with purpose, determination and her father with her.

Frank will never leave Brianna because he lives in her. He helped shape who she is, what she will accept in life, how she will trust, who she will be loyal to and how she will process and form new relationships. He is a part of her every day without being a physical part of her journey. It’s something people should get used to.

I think Brianna’s grief over the loss of her parental bonds speaks very loudly in the person we see now.  She is not broken…but there are cracks in the armour. Cracks she has to build walls around in order to feel safe.  It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love or feel. It means she protects herself from pain. She puts the feelings aside, in order to meet the task ahead, it seems to me that is what is keeping her upright. For now. Kudos to Sophie Skelton this episode. She did a fantastic job spanning all those years.

There is another bond here that I found immensely interesting.  It involves Laoghaire. Brilliantly portrayed by Nell Hudson.  I know this because I really really do not like this woman, seeing her makes me make that face you make when you bite into something when you think its something else. Go ahead…take a moment to boo and hiss!

You done?

Cool.

I don’t think we were shown “another side” of Laoghaire as much as we were shown her normal every day as a mother. She picked up a stranger off the road that was in distress, she fed, kept her comfortable, shared stories of her daughter and her life with her. All very motherly stuff. However, the ultimate defect in her character was compounded by the severed bond she had with Jamie. Just as solid and tender bonds help form who we become, so do the broken ones. Very often, the broken ones are the ones that create the traits we are less proud of and likely show less often.

We ALL know people that are lovely, wonderful people. They treat most others with kindness, they love their children and would do absolutely anything for them. But. They have “that person”.  That person they despise.  If that person’s name is mentioned…that lovely wonderful human turns into someone you never would have expected. The car keying, punch throwing, gossip spreading devil! Horns, spit, fire…they go off the deep end to get an ounce of satisfaction in hurting the person that has done them wrong.

Am I sticking up for Laoghaire? Oh hell no!  Am I saying Laoghaire reminds me of Karen down the street whose ex-husband married Rita? You betcha! Karen can be a real piece of work.  Laoghaire takes shit to level 98, mostly because it’s TV and going to a level 5 just isn’t worthy of our visceral hate of her.

You know who else demonstrated a bond in this episode? Roger. Richly played by Richard Rankin.

Roger, a man who chose to leave his own time for a woman he loves. Roger, who lost his own mother as a young boy. Roger who so innocently told a child there was no such a thing as a sea monster and later on – the young girl was thrown overboard by one.

For a man like Roger, the horror of seeing suffering doesn’t break him, it does, embolden him. Roger, quickly formed a connection with a young mother aboard a ship full of strangers. Putting him in the position of protector, Roger takes risks he knows he shouldn’t but follows his morals above all else. He was determined to keep Morag and her child safe from certain death. The child’s teething rash was likely to be mistaken for smallpox and they would face the same fate as the others, tossed overboard.  Roger actions were selfless and swift.  Some may question his motives but I think it was simply Roger’s need to feel like he was doing something with all the chaos going on around him. This relationship with Morag and her son grounds him to the goodness he has inside. That goodness nearly cost him his life.

You could see when he thought Bonnet meant to gamble Morag and the child’s life with a coin toss that he was horrified. Yet when it was his own life, he was scared, but he seemed resigned to it.  As if, this was more acceptable to him.

Rogers word is his bond.  He does not give it lightly but when he does, he will stake his life on it. Which means for the next 6 episodes, we are in for a damn interesting ride.

 

Sher (ABOotlander Founder)

Don’t forget to join us ABOotlanders on Twitter while we live tweet while we watch on W Network Sundays at 8PM MST. We use the hashtag #OutlanderCAN and each weeks episode hashtag from Starz. We look forward to you joining us and our friends at Fancity, (who are also celebrating #FANMAS! Check them out)

 

 

Emotional bridges. Looking back on Episode 5 of Outlander.

I need to start by saying my heart was overjoyed to see the rabbit. Just yeah, bring on the Bree-bunnies, I will have them all. That was an emotional bridge over all of the seasons that I was both surprised and thrilled by.

This episode of  Outlander gave me whiplash. That sensation of running back and forth across an emotional bridge.  One moment I was giddy with happiness and love the next, I hoofed it to the other end and was brought to tears.  Now look, I am, in fact, bipolar…this episode made me need a therapy session cuz I wasn’t sure if I forgot my meds or what!

The despondency of Roger in his poop toque (yes, I had to) walking away from Ms. Bairds is heartbreaking, yet in the next breath, we were given a wee bit of hope when hearing her call him back.  Then the letter brought us back down to earth – flat on our asses.

Claire as a healer, handing a new baby to her mother with kind and gentle hands was then switched to a mediator, showing incredible bravery in the face of ignorance. Ignorance which nearly caused bloodshed on a doorstep because a man refused to see the truth of a situation out of fear.

We felt the anticipation and pure joy of hearing Murtagh’s voice and again when he turned to face Jamie. We had to witness the confusion/pride and ultimately the heartbreak Jamie felt watching his godfather wax poetic about the injustices served, in the name of Tryon.

We became an audience to the magic Claire and Adawehi shared speaking of Bree being with her mother.  Only then to suffer the horror of Adawehi’s murder.

Brianna, though we didn’t see her much in this episode, tends to do the same as her mother.  Act first, think later. She found out about her mother and Jamie dying in the fire and boom…off she goes, caring about Roger but not truly thinking about how this might affect him. Maybe not really thinking how it might affect her in the long run.  Her heart leads her.  Honestly, I don’t blame her. It isn’t a fate I would leave my mother to either, though I think I would have had a conversation with the man I loved first. Granted, Brianna doesn’t seem to want to admit that she does love him yet.  I’m anxious to get to that part of the story – bring me some more #MacnCheese, please!

Personally, I think Roger has been putting his logic before his emotions. That’s what makes our world a cool place. People are different.  He thought it through quite thoroughly and came to the conclusion that Brianna was better off not knowing the whole truth. He just didn’t take into account, if the information was out there, she would be able to find it too.  I have this suspicious feeling, all of those emotions we see all over Roger’s face (damn, Richard Rankin is GOOD at that), are going to start leading him by the nose hairs and shit is going to go down. And go down hard.

Murtagh’s story is one I am so looking forward to because I have no fricken idea what it will look like.  I am convinced he had more dialogue in this one episode than he did in the entire 3 seasons prior. I adore his voice.  O.K., I’m distracted by the silver foxiness of Duncan Lacroix, it gets me stuck in this crazy circle of hummina hummina.  His emotions were at an all-time high this episode. Naturally.  He was reunited and it felt so good. He had a fire in his belly that had been re-ignited from injustice done in his past which are resurfacing in his present. He always was a protector of Jamie, now I believe he adjusted that to being the protector of a people. Of justice itself.  He did end up on Fraser’s Ridge after some thought, so I am very anxious to hear what that thought process was and what the plan will be.

 

This episode was filled with our characters joy and pain, such as life is.  Each time led by emotion, as we often are.  That isn’t a bad thing, however, if we took the time to truly think about things before we reacted to them, we can admit we would often do things differently.  I know I can think back to many times in my life that I wish I could stuff words back in my mouth…delete something I did. There are even those times I don’t say or do something and after I have time to think about it, I want to kick myself because I come up with all these brilliant things I COULD have said or done.

Until next time,

Sherry (Founder of the ABOotlanders)

P.S’s -Join us in live tweeting on Sundays while we watch Outlander on W Network using the hashtag #OutlanderCAN

Don’t forget to follow FanCity on Twitter and on YouTube… #FANMAS is running right now and there are tonnes of prizes from all your favourite fandoms – Yes, of course, Outlander is on the list!

 

 

 

More than meets the eye. My takeaway from Ep4 of Outlander, Common Ground.

Here I am again, trying to not just pick through the obvious or delve into the dramedy of the week for each episode of Outlander.

Truth be told,  I am doing it more to challenge myself, tear off a couple of layers and see something a bit different. It helps me stretch my brain basket out.

 

The plentiful nuggets of common ground between characters and the land are both unmistakable and subtlely scattered throughout the episode. It gives the title of the episode a lot of meaning.  I am going to nudge that aside so we can experience the remnants of all the things that aren’t and how they showed up numerous times in Common Ground.

We all do it.  Take one glance at someone or thing, get our first impression, assume we know the story and continue on with that notion in our head. We may tend to block all the other stuff out because it doesn’t suit what we have already convinced ourselves is real.

Starting instantly with the Governor Tryon scene. This guy. Him and his “I want the best people to settle the land” and “I’m noble and wonderful and everything good about the British.”

We know that there is a dash of dastardly tucked underneath that powdered wig and tighty whities (stockings) of his.  Certainly not all noble nor wonderful. In fact, here we have a couple of duplicitous characters.  Jamie has been a traitor before. That is where I was going with the “not everything is what it seems” with this particular scene. I believe Jamie eluded to this in his comments to Claire about making this a great country for Brianna earlier in the season.  It certainly isn’t just in building Fraser’s Ridge but the impact he might have in the coming revolution.

Oh, then we have Marsali.  Remember when we first met her? Our initial impression? Wow. What a snide wee thing she was.

But why? Outwardly, she most certainly hated Claire and wasn’t afraid to show it. In return, many instantly thought her a mean-spirited brat.  Marsali, let us not forget, is a teenager. Her only knowledge of this Claire woman is the image she had painted by her very bitter mother (whom she loves dearly, she should, she IS her mom).  Any daughter would take her mother’s side and react accordingly. Claire, being the adult, totally understood this and didn’t take it personally. She let it ride.

What we saw at the beginning of the episode is the growth of both of these characters. How many stepdaughter/mother relationships never heal?  You can have two fantastic human beings who will hate one another forever because of the completely separate relationship of two other people they both love. It is a real head-scratcher. ( Yes I know…some people ARE just horrible, I’m not talking about them😉) Marsali and Claire have chosen to look at one another as individuals. Apart from those relationships and are better for it. Imagine both of them taking their first impressions and holding onto them?  How ugly would that be to watch, week after week?

Leaving Marsali and Fergus, of course, reminds Claire of leaving Brianna. Jamie opens his mouth and the word version of cotton candy, unicorns, rainbows and butterflies escape his lips. It seems such a special moment, between Jamie and Claire.  If we were to step upon that moment we would see the love and the connection.

What we wouldn’t see is the pain. Claire being torn up on the inside. How many times has this happened to us? In public, surrounded by people and able to look to the person in front of us and manage a grin – all the while, inside, we’re screaming in pain?  Yet, there we were, fooling nearly every person in the room because they only see what we allow them to.

socks

My own socks tell us this story. 

It doesn’t always have to be people, it can be nature.  It was present throughout this episode.  Frasers Ridge itself, visually captivating, has a dream-like quality to it.  When that happens, the brain does funny things. When we think something is beautiful, we tend to feel better when we are around it, when we feel better, we feel safer, when we feel safer, we may let our guard down.  Letting our guard down isn’t always a horrible thing but when there is something else out there that is looking to harm us, it uses that vulnerability to its advantage.  Nature itself is like this, whether it be the creatures that make it their home or the weather itself.  Both of these can dispell the wonderful first impression of beauty such places give. It reminds us just because it’s pretty, doesn’t mean it’s kind.

Let’s get comfy and talk about Roger and Bree. After last weeks dumpster fire of miscommunication, what do we have to look forward to? By all appearances, not a fricken thing.  After Brianna left Roger at the festival to find a TapCar back to Boston we don’t have much hope.

Roger has returned to his various shades of brown existence at Oxford.  He seems to be going by exactly what Brianna has given him during his call to her and vice-versa.  There are no questioning things deeper on either part and yet, if one of them had, so much of the miscommunication could have been remedied at least a little bit.  Settling for what is on the surface can sometimes be our way of taking the easy way out. Let’s face it if we simply take the generic “I have to go grade papers”, it excuses us from taking a chance and asking “Do you miss me?” Sure, we avoid the possibility of them saying the very thing we fear but it also prevents them from saying the one thing we hope they would.

Fiona looks quiet and innocent but that girl has got all the people figured out and just so happens, she serves it with grace.  Everyone should have a girlfriend like her.  The kind that people sadly mistake for a piece of the furniture. She sees and hears everything. They are the ones that will be able to tell you what’s what and where you can find it.  We would be better humans if we paid more attention to what women like Fiona have to say instead of keeping them a silent witness to everything around us. I bet if we all thought about it, we could think of a few of those women throughout our lives and be surprised at how we allowed them to stay in the shadows. How we still utilized their gifts and input when they shared them but rarely asked them for it. Hell, you may be one of those people yourself.  So let me just say…you are valued…in case you haven’t heard it lately.

Now, to the glaringly obvious “it is not what it appears to be” is our bear.  First, the menace and destruction were thought to be the Cherokee neighbours. Then, the monster bear. There were pretty clear signs pointing toward that. It likes meat, pooped like nobodies business, left a pretty serious claw slashing down the shoulder of Findlay, Fraser’s trusty steed. Had the Fraser’s been aware of the Cherokee’s dealings with the cracked but not broken bear-man, they would have known what they were truly dealing with, rather than go by what their eyes were telling them.  This just proves the whole “working together” gets better results theory. Pretty simple stuff, this one.

I must mention the fact that Brianna went to Scotland WEEKS ago to visit her MOTHER! I don’t think this was a simple case of Brianna just missing her Momma.  Roger thinking Brianna would only know the information he was giving her, seems to have been a case of underestimation. This is something many of us do as well, which is why I love how these characters are written. They are relatable.  We often predict what others will do based on what we would do. We interpret others actions as a reflection of our own intent. Sometimes we are accurate but not always and it is the ‘not always’ that tends to cause us to stumble.  It pays to look deeper, or step back to see the big picture. It may be uncomfortable but the outcome will often be a positive one.

First impressions should be just that. An impression. They are developed in an instant but given time, they can be remoulded, reshaped and in some cases, shattered and recreated. The more we discuss, observe and listen, the better we get at understanding the whole picture.  The whole picture tells a story one word never could.

RTs would be cool if you feel others might enjoy a piece of this. Come live tweet with us Canadian folk, we watch Outlander on W Network  at 8 PM MST Sundays. We use the hashtag #OutlanderCAN to keep track of one another and help others gauge where the commercials are. Yeah…we have phones with cords AND commercials.  It’s ok though. We are a hearty people.

Until next time…and I already CAN. NOT. WAIT!

Sher (ABOotlander founder)

 

 

 

 

Ghosts are everywhere. My Take on “The False Bride”. Outlander S04E03.

There is no shortage of drama this season is there?  The cool thing about having a blog in this fandom is I get to decide what I talk about. I have decided to challenge myself to NOT write about the obvious this season.

I want to look past the topic du jour and move to the things that made me go hmmm and maybe they will make you go hey…meh…or OH! Either way, I will have said it and hopefully, feel good about it when I am done.  That’s the point of my watching Outlander in the first place. It makes me feel good. I like it. My Mom used to say “If it doesn’t feel good…don’t do it.” I live by that.

So…ghosts. I’m not talking about Casper, the bent neck lady or the very obvious Native gentleman caller from the episode we are talking about.  I am referring to the ghosts in our life that either guide our decisions or keep us from moving forward out of fear of facing them.  They were ever present in The False Bride, whether we noticed them or not.

Right at the very start, Roger sitting in the old empty manse and Fiona coming through the doors to take up residence reminded us of Reverend Wakefield and Mrs. Graham. Both now, just memories, shadows in the halls but very much a part of who Fiona and Roger are today.  As we see later with Roger when he has his meltdown with Brianna.  He was raised by a Reverand. It makes more than a little sense that ghost still sits in his mind and when that is the case, it affects his heart as well. Those are the ghosts that often speak the loudest.

Claire sees her fair share of ghosts in this episode. Both literally and figuratively. To start, there is no doubt she is thinking of the ghost of her friend, Joe Abernathy. Black, free, a doctor…her dear friend. Someone she may have been judged for being friends with but still “allowed” to be friends with.  She watches as the slaves walk by and you can see it pains her because she has seen the other side of this story.  She knows the truth of the people she sees being treated ‘less than’. The pure inhumanity of it bubbles to the surface.

aaaaaahp

Going from this kind of friendship…to where she is – is not something any of us should reconcile.

As they ride away from River Run, they leave the ghost of Rufus behind them. Their troubled time there.  They also leave the people they couldn’t help.  This is something that I am sure will continue to haunt Claire.

Claire confronts Franks ghost as well.  He will be ever present when she speaks of Brianna.  He was the only father her daughter had. He raised her and owns that space in her world.  As she speaks of Bree to Jamie, you can see both of them feel Franks ghost pass through the moment. Claire as a reserved embrace, and Jamie with a grateful chill.

Then, we have Claire’s literal ghost.  Good ole Claire takes off after Clarence the mule in a storm and ends up lost, alone and in the dark.

It’s ok though, she has company.  She finds a little head, ok, it’s a skull. One that has been cracked down the middle and removed from the rest of its body.  This particularly unlucky fellow decides to pay Claire a visit, in a jarring and pretty cool way.  He makes his way toward her during lightning strikes. Then what does he do? Dude steals her shoes.  He makes up for it by wearing them and leads her to Jamie and Jamie to her. Awwwwwwwwww.

This particular ghost is filled with more questions because his mouth is filled with silver fillings. Which clearly means he is a time traveller too.

Young Ian had a different group of ghosts he faced in this episode. The pirates not once, but twice. Geillis. The hurricane. That was a lot of trauma for a young kid.  He grew up PDQ (pretty damn quick). Those experiences formed who he’s now become, a young man who knows his mind.  Thankfully, the ghost of the child he was, will always be there for us. His smile and pure cheekiness each episode gives me hope anyway.

Jamie had his own ghosts, didn’t he?  When speaking to his aunt Jocasta, the ghost of the laird he would have been in Scotland lingered there. He knew what she didn’t though. River Run could never be that for him, some things cannot be recreated.

The ghost of Jamie’s mother was real and alive when his aunt gifted him Ellen’s silver candlesticks. Something tangible, he could touch and take with him to his new place, where ever that may be.

While visiting the ghosts of Scotland in his memories, he was able to see his future.  Looking out over the vista, Jamie fell in love with the land he saw before him because of the echoes of his past. The strawberries and the mountains all familiar to him yet, this new world made him feel hope.

I want to finish up with Brianna.  The Scottish festival was the first shiver of her ghosts coming to the forefront. Bree seemed to want to deny she was thinking about her mother but Roger knew it had to be there, raw and real.  The memory of her and the ramifications of her travelling through time to find Jamie. Those ghosts came to visit the festival that day, who could blame them? The music was bangin’.Screenshot (531)Bree is a young woman that knows what she doesn’t want.  That is very much because of her ghosts. One ghost is the father she grew up with. She now knows he lived in a marriage of convenience with her mother. Another is the ghost of a father that she never knew, he was the recipient of her mother’s love and devotion. Given the choice she was faced with in the episode tonight, those ghosts would have sat upon each shoulder like the good choice and bad choice. Each in her ear.

We all have our ghosts.  Whether we see them, hear them or feel them. They are there, influencing us and the choices we make. We should really trust our own voice rather than rely on the ghosts, but you know…to each their own.

Sometimes, those ghosts…they just make us run up the basement stairs really quick or check behind the shower curtain before peeing.  Either way…do you.

Remember to live tweet with us. Canadians watch along with W Network and use the hashtag #OutlanderCAN. We look forward to having you play along! If you love to win stuff and love to fan please follow our friends at FANCITY. They have a great worldwide Outlander giveaway coming up soon!

Sher

Founder of the ABOotlanders

My take on Outlander’s E02, Do No Harm. The lies we tell ourselves.

There are many conversations that can and surely will be taking place about this powerful episode.  I thought, and probably over thought the direction, I would go in my take away.

What I kept coming back to was the self-talk of the characters in our story.  As in life, we tell ourselves lies in order to live with our actions, the situations we create and the circumstances we find ourselves in.  Sometimes those lies are harmless small ones, intended to take the sting away and sometimes they are brutally large because facing the truth would be admitting how incredibly horrible we truly can be.

When people hear the word LIE, they think ‘bad’. They think ‘evil’. That isn’t quite what I mean here. Yes, a lie is an intended falsehood, however, when we are telling those lies to ourselves to help cope with something ~ that becomes the crux of the situation.

We start with that, Jamie and Claire. He is beating himself up over helping Bonnet escape. Claire turns to him and explains he shouldn’t take the blame for the robbery and Lesley’s death, it’s not his fault, they both trusted the bastard.  Truth is, had they given him up to the authorities, they would have made it safely to River Run, gemstones in hand and their friend alive. This is a way to help them cope with their loss.  Of course, we don’t want them to blame themselves. In fact, if someone we loved were in a similar position, we would tell them the same in order to make them feel better.  I ask myself sometimes – Do I want the truth or a comforting lie? Lots of the time…a comforting lie hits the spot quite nicely, thanks.

Now, those fools at the dinner party! Believing if it wasn’t for them coming to America and making it a ‘civilized’ world it would be nothing but a wasteland. This a perfect example of lies we tell ourselves to justify our uninvited and or all around crappy behaviours. Not bothering to see there could be another way, ignoring the logic around us. Even when it is clearly pointed out.  Ian took a moment to do that and was met with a condescending reply. Those reactions are often the biggest clue that we know we are full of rocks and bananas.

Jocasta shared with Jamie and Claire how she saw some of her slaves as friends.  This is a deeply seeded version of the example I just gave. Though there may be hints of truth in her statement, the reality is, the slaves are not her friends, she will not truly treat them as such because it would harm her place in society.  She spoke of her struggle as a woman, not being able to speak her mind or run her business with men as an equal. If she was to open her mind, just a little further, including others being treated even worse than that, by her…that is where change can start, no? Simply with the acknowledgment.

Then, you know, Jocasta outright lies. In the sense that she would rather ask forgiveness than permission.  She knew damn well that she was going to make Jamie heir of River Run. It was the main purpose for her party, “introducing you to society” was a ruse created to foist this grand plan upon him.  It sure makes it hard to say “HELL NO!” In front of people congratulating you eh?

Now keep in mind, lying to oneself is also a means of self-preservation in difficult circumstances. This is Claire’s running commentary throughout the episode.  There is not one moment that she relaxes. She is in obvious perma-clench mode. For good reason.  She is having a visceral reaction to slavery and not only being surrounded by it, but by it being forced upon her. It certainly is easy, from the relative comfort of our living rooms to tell her to smarten the hell up because ultimately she IS making shit WAY more difficult. However, Claire…part of what makes her Claire is she feels before she thinks. In this case, it’s not only her “do no harm” oath, but it is also her hate of a system that she KNOWS is wrong on every level of wrongness that was ever created, and being a part of that in any way, makes her wrong too. So, she lies to herself.  Tells herself, because of her interference, she can help Rufus. There will be something she can do to make sure he lives. When the real truth is…there is nothing.  Deep down, she knows it…and that only infuriates her further.

giphy12

 

source

 

We now have Rufus (played impeccably by Jerome Holder). Imagine, putting one foot in front of another, day after day having been taken from the life he knew and loved, forced into this, of all lives?  You would most certainly have to lie to yourself. He was telling himself, one day…one day I might see those I love again.  There has been nothing to show him this might happen, to give him this hope. Yet, he tells himself so he may have the strength to see another day.  We have the power to convince ourselves because we have no other choice…we need to hold onto something in order to survive.

If we sat and examined the stories we tell ourselves on the daily, we would see the lies, the half-truths for what they are.  Coping mechanisms…both good and bad. Human and inhumane. They often define our character.  If we find ourselves angry when someone points them out to us, that may be an indication we need to take a self-appointed time out and do some critical thinking.  It is most definitely not a painless process. That is how change happens.

It’s tough, but someone’s gotta do it!

Thanks for stopping by and if you like what you read, or even thought it was kinda o.k., please give it a share, leave a comment or send me cuddles (pickles and cheese knows I can use ’em after THAT episode!)  We livetweet with the W Networks airing of Outlander in Canada, every Sunday, using the hashtag #OutlanderCAN. We look forward to all of our Outlander friends joining us!

For a more in-depth conversation about Do No Harm and the way the show handled the aspects of slavery and the continued effects it has on today’s society, I suggest you hop on over to our friends at Blacklanderz. Their twitter feed has a great deal of the discussions we need to be having.

Until next time,

Sher                                                                                                                                                          Founder of the ABOotlanders