The Devil’s, Mark? I thought his name was Stan!

April 21, 2015 by Sherry W.

You learn something new with every episode – that is why I LOVE THIS SHOW! Not only is it entertaining…it’s educational. Edutainment folks. We have a lot of stuff to go over- we better get started.

I feel an Ed Grimley moment comin on.

Yes…I must say. The way the first part of the season played out, slow n steady, character building, stories being created & relationships developed has allowed the second part of the season to move at break neck speed! SO MUCH HAPPENS in each & every episode. They seem to manage to put so much into one hour – yet it’s funny there will still be people who say “I wish they would have left in xx & xxx” “They could have taken out this line & added the line I liked.” Oh? Really…Ron D. Moore didn’t call every single person who read the book….ummmm 25 million peeps to see their favourite lines uttered by their book boyfriend? Oh…wait…EVERY LINE EVER UTTERED BY SAID DUDE!

Yes, I wish everyone could move on. Then I remembered. These wishes won’t come true. For either of us. Know why? No candles to blow out & I didn’t see a shooting star! Effin technicalities.

I mean for reals my peeps. Every thing Jamie ever said in the books we would love to hear Sam Heughan wrap his tongue around but.. stop being so selfish. SHEESH! The show is ONE hour long. Well…in Canada it is an hour and a half but we need to have pee breaks, pour a drink breaks, blow your nose & wipe your tear breaks. (I am trying to be nice & say we have commercials).

There is A SHIT LOAD of dialogue in Diana’s books and if you are so intent on hearing it. Get comfy somewhere…Davina Porter will read it to YOU! Or…read it as many times as your heart desires. Your imagination is afterall- like…the best. We have proven that…repeatedly…after each and every episode. Right? Huh? Huh? *Big Smiles*

Sometimes you have to announce it

Let’s let the TV show live it’s life, it’s big beautiful awesome life.

It would be a rainbow, unicorn & lollipop world if the nay saying pick the scab “I’m entitled to throw my opinion all over the interwebs” and tag the writers/producers in it if I want – would consider this little piece of decency. Imagine, someone walking into your place of work & criticizing what you do – especially when they have zero idea of what actually goes into it. I wonder how they would feel? And no, simply because people choose to work in the public eye does not give others the right to belittle them. That’s a cop out to being an asshole & sorry…it’s still wrong. It’s just mean. If you wouldn’t do it to your neighbour – you shouldn’t do it to someone you think of as famous because well – just because they are – doesn’t make them less HUMAN.

Ummmm yeah, if we are the type that would walk into their place of work & beak off or go off on our neighbours — might I suggest— we take a second look at our manners? Perhaps, just maybe it’s time for the relization that we might be a dick? Maybe…kinda.

Digression isn’t my middle name but I sure as hell do it a lot. I don’t even have a middle name maybe I should adopt it.

The opening scene with the murm..mu…flock of birds was gorgeous wasn’t it? I love how they implemented that in the story.

We did NOT get the same wake up call in this episode that we did the last one, dirty & abrupt yes…just not the same dirty & abrupt.

Can you believe we made it all the way to 11 episodes without seeing RATS? I don’t mean Black Rat Randall n the Duke of Ratingham…I mean actual rodents. They are the one creature in the Universe, that make me shudder, shake & gag on site. It’s a phobia or something. No, not or something. It’s a phobia. Which is CRAZY considering one of my favourite things in the world is Mickey Mouse- a 5 ft rodent. I am a special kinda special!

Those wardens sure are a sweet couple of lunk heads eh? Didn’t you just wanna find a hole to throw THEM into? They for some reason found it necessary to dig up a latter to get the girls OUT of the hole…but…they just chucked their asses in willy nilly. Maybe hoping they would land on their bumrolls for cushion. From the sounds & looks of things, that did NOT happen. Geilwitch seemed to have fell straight onto her bitch button because she went into straight into “Blame Claire” mode. I bet she fell on her tailbone…that’s my bitch button too…That effin hurts like a Black Jack.

The girl’s get into a fight. “You told my secrets!” “What secrets!?’ The whole effin town knew! You were dancing neked in public you looniebird!” “You think I’m a WITCH?” “Nope but you sure as heck know your way around the killin fields don’t ya!?” “Oh…yeah…that…got me there.Wanna feel my crazy baby kick?”

Claire has to give Geilwitch a bit of a shake down. She still thinks Dougal is her knight and shining tartan. Yeah…not so much eh? He kinda bailed on her bumroll & all of a sudden it dawns on her. She is up shit creek without a paddle. This is where I throw in this

Where Caitriona’s face is expressive. Glass. Like Diana wrote it. Lotte has brought something to the role of Geillis Duncan. Diana wrote about her green piercing eyes…uh-huh. But…Lotte…expresses with her eyes. They are haunting. She is bewitching. I heart her. I have been with my husband 29 yrs…married 23 – I am straight. This show is giving me serious girl crush moments. Especially when she plays on twitter with me. It’s only encouragement ya know.

Once Geillis gets it. Dougal’s gone, Jamie too…they are HOOPED! She tries to make up by offering Claire the big hunk of rat poop bread. As appealing as that is, Claire just ain’t hungry. Geillis then offers Claire the comfy side of the stone to sleep, yeah…Claire’s still chafed. That ain’t happening either. For now. It’s still

The warden come and haul their asses out of the thieves hole in the morning, this time with ladders. Wouldn’t those have been a swell idea when they tossed them down there like dirty laundry down a chute?

Remember “buddy ropes” when you were little? Me too. The things they attached Claire & Geillybean to…not the same thing.

Building a pyre in town square before the trial even starts. I can see how people intend for this to go. Sort of guilty until proven guilty. Good job folks! Loved Geillybeans maypole comment. Everyone is a smartass when they are getting ready to be put on a spit. Why not? Not like they have anything to loose right?

There we have it. A trial. We had Mutt & Jeff as teamsters, they reminded me & hundreds of others I am sure of Statler & Waldorf from the Muppets.

Ned Gowan came bursting in, brandishing common sense, intelligence & honest to goodness law (he also had his pistol, but saves that for last, like a good lawyer should) – but this here was a church & the law had no place there. We also had a mob. Mob mentality is at its best here. Mental they were! The energy in that courtroom was palatable – can’t say that it tasted like something I would order again but they did one helluva job!

It was like Jerry Springer meets Judge Judy meets Degrassi Jr. High. The DRAMA! Oh Em Gee! The backstabbing housemaid. For real guuuuurl! Conive much? Twist a tale much? Pretzel Ginnie…that’s what I am gonna call ya. I wouldn’t like dumpin out ole Arthur’s crap pot either but Geillybean took care of that for you didn’t she? Shouldn’t you be grateful? I suppose you got your minute of fame though eh?! I guess this was her moment – Cranesmuir’s Got Talent!

Ned strikes a lawyer pose and BOOYAH! Down goes Ginnie the housemaid. Turns out she was spreading gossip all the way to the castle.

She gets THREE X’s

X X X

They are way cuter than the judges on any of those shows, so I will use them!

The next witness in the trial is the poor superstitious woman and her man who left their sick baby in a tree to die. You know the one, the one Claire tried to save. Her eyes – her fingers…she is stunning. To me…she is what Golum would look like if he was a beautiful woman. I know that sounds like a backhanded insult…but it isn’t.

She takes a swing at Claire & Claire gets a wee bit pissy about this! Ned has to tell her to shut her bannock hole! He can take care of this. He does another flip…her baby didn’t die…it’s running free with the faeries remember? It was the changling babe that died in this woman’s arms. You can’t really be mad at her for that? You have to take the blame for not stopping her – if you had…the fearies could have made the switch. Poor ignorant peasant. #sigh You gotta feel for folks like this. Ignorance is a tough nut to crack.

The next up to talk to the court of pointing fingers & screamin mimis is Alistair. His friends call him “AllheSTAREs”. It’s his fun shroom issue. He sits on the “faery” hill picking the longed stemmed poop tasting ‘fungus that make mistress Duncan fly like the ravens”. He sure is a bullshitter. Wish Ned could say something about him just getting out of rehab or something.

Don’t you just wish Ned could throw something like “This douche was just on Celebrity Rehab & gave Mickey Rourke a run for his money!” but no…that’s not an option. Instead, it’s late, everyone needs a break & it’s time for the ladies to get tossed back in the hole. Not before Ned rescues Claire again. He knows our girl & he brings her what she loves best, well second best…a flask of whisky! Good man. Not before she asks hopefully if Colum sent him…yeah…no! TwistyLegs McTwisterson, in fact, looks like had a bit to do with the whole strammach. Claire looks sick but she has some booze. That’s good news.

There is no better time for girl bonding & make up chatter than when you are stuck in a hole. Granted, its a big hole – big enough for 2 women & a crew *snort* Plus after being stuck shoulder to shoulder all day, listening to people throw insults at you both & lies. You tend to stand back to back to protect your fronts. The walls come down – then it is friends ON again.

I even heard rattles about them “allowing” Geillybean to drink in the episode – though she was pregnant. Uh-huh. Ok. Super awesome. A historical 18th century woman now has to be the moral and ethical compass for us in this century. These kinda picky pants remarks are the type of things that will suck the life out of their enjoying the show. It’s not about the inclusion of these accuracies in the show that will. Personally, they make me giggle uncontrollably because they are down right silly. Like the string.

The girls have a sleepover night. You know, talkin about fraud, stealing, boys, politics n stuff. Through it all- Claire throws in a wee quote from Nathan Hale “I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country” – he was in the Continental Army and spoke those words in 1776-before he was hanged. There we go with Lotte & her eye’s again! I saw it…I know you saw it!

This is where a certain garment starts to unravel for us.

T’is the sweater of realization. Stitch by stitch – it comes a part. Just watch.

The next morning- the empty flask by her head- Claire wakes and shakes the gate over her head like this is the first time she tries to get out. Come on Claire. Don’t tell me this is the first time. Then again, I would be shaking that damn thing at every opportunity too.

We have a soft moment returning to the opening scene when Claire spots a starling. Remember the start of the show? Just a single one of those. She told the story of this black bird who flew in flocks for protection against falcons. Murmuration – They shared a quiet moment before being hauled from their dank dark pit of patheticness and back into the court of contention. The moment before crawling out this time…gave me a lump in my throat – Claire reaching out for Geillybeans bump & her grabbing her hands to kiss them. The lump was vomit…can you imagine how NARSTY her hands were? Nope…wouldn’t be able to handle the 18th century.

Emotional Wall Erected.
Don’t come through!

Back in the “court”…yup using this term loosely! Speaking of loosely – the first witness of the day….Laoghaire “LooseLips” McKenzie! This girl. What a girl. The hate & venom being aimed towards this child is extraordinary. To me that means Nell Hudson is the cats ass. That’s a good thing for those people who don’t know.

She sure has some emotional challenges eh? Believes every damn thing that comes out of her mouth. I am convinced this 16 yr old young woman- was emotionally engaged to Jamie Fraser. She is a product of her environment. She sees Claire as an evil woman that has stolen her future. Is it right? Nope! Is what she does with the information right? Nope! But she is an immature child and acting like one. They have written her brilliantly & Nell Hudson couldn’t do a better job at portraying her.

He’s MY Jamie! Give ‘im BACK!

She has no compass of life experience to draw from & she also lives in a world of superstition. She is 16. Most 16 yr olds live in a world of ALL ABOUT ME. I get Laoghaire. I wanted MY Claire to throat punch her instead of slap her but I get her. I might be 43, but I remember being 16. Which is SUPER weird, because I can’t remember what I did yesterday. Stupid complicated brain.

Ned calls out LooseyGooseyLaoghaire for being a jealous broken hearted lass. She admits it. Love of her life *tears* Awwwwwwwwwwww and down goes the house.

That performance deserves a STANDING OVATION! BRAVA! BRAVA ! The Cranessheepians give her one too.

Claire loses her shit & calls her out on everything. Turns out Jamie told her about the wee incident down by the river too. See…all of the folks yakking about Jamie cheating for touching the upper curve of LooseyGooseyLaoghaire’s boob as she put her hand right on it – he told Claire all about it. Does that change anyone’s mind? Yeah, didn’t think so. When you are right…you’re right.

Father Bain…ewwww…ewwww…and EWWWW some more! This guy just makes you feel like you have the willies like ALL the time. Creepy crawlies rash inducing badness. This dude embodies it!. While he walked into make his speech, the way he was talking about Claire, it was like…Ummmm…anyone else get the feeling that he wants to bone her?

DUN DUN DUN DUN

It made me uncomfortable too. Totally have no urge to see what’s under THAT robe. He’s making up for something. Men like that – need tweezers to masterbate. You just know it. ( The character. The actor probably has a perfectly normal penis. I’m just being reactive to his stellar acting.) Father Bain needs to burn!

Then the Freakshow Bainbasket went on to do what he does best. Manipulate his sheeple. Playing possum for them. After giving them the spiel of how hot she makes him he then falls to his knees shouting “I’m not worthy!” knowing full well his sheeple won’t take this well – that they will jump to protect he. He has trained them well.

The smirk. Really? You suck!

They were just about to call down the fires of hell when BOOM Ned was like LUNCH! We NEED LUNCH! I need a SANDWICH & a DIET COKE!

He get’s the defendants alone with him for a few moments & tells him the whole thing has gone to pot & not the good kind he uses for his asthma.

It time to do something drastic. Drastic means it is time to throw someone under the carriage. They didn’t have busses then so – yeah. If Claire says she is an ignorant Sassenach & Geillybean pulled into her masterful witchyweb then she can live while Geillybean…well….doesn’t.

He leaves so the girls can hash this shit out. Girl style.

Ok, They didn’t Girl Fight. But I LOVE this GIF and it breaks up the feels.

G loses her last nerve for a minute and wants to be sure she is going to die for good damn reason! Where you from!? Stop lying! Why you here?! Tell me! Shit! You came by ACCIDENT? WHO DOES THAT? UGH!

Then…Best LINE ever! “Look’s like I’m going to a fucking bar-b-que!” BAHAHAHA! Nice! There we see a bit more unraveling happening on Claire’s face but the peeps screaming they want to burn her on the other side of the door kind of shakes her out of it.

I am going to get an apron made for my hubby. He is the chef…and I don’t go near our Bar-B-Que – I’ll blow my damn self up. I know it.

Ned thinks Claire is going to grovel for her life when they come back. Geillybean thinks so too…she is avoiding eye contact, most people think it is because she is pissed off. I think it is because she is trying to disconnect herself from Claire to make the story easy for people to believe. She is shocked when Claire goes into BFF mode for her & refused to leave her to burn alone. Connection is one thing but this. CRAZY!

They condemn them both to BURN. They crazy gets turned up to 10! Ned does what Ned seems to do when shit goes down…he grabs his pistol. He waves it around like his wrist is made of wet noodles.

This buys the girls some time – enough time for Geillybean to share that she thinks its possible & 1968 with Claire. Unravel..Unravel.

Ned’s pistol goes off…the metal one, in his hand, that the mob is trying to wrestle away from him. ( I feel a need to explain cuz people think I am a perv for some reason. Possibly because I am.)

The shot brings everyone back to the bedlam of the room. Ned getting carried to the ground. Claire screams at everyone if they burn them, that makes them murders which means THEY will ALL burn in hell. OOPS! Guess what THAT sounds like to them? A HEX! This means…she needs to be punished there and then. Real nice bunch of thugs they are, they order her stripped n skelped.

All through this episode- this is what was going through Claire’s poor head.

Laoghaire has to get a last crooked twist in. Seriously girlfriend, you could hide behind a spiral staircase. Dance on her ashes could you? Classy, child…classy.

Watching Claire’s dress get ripped open in preparation for getting whipped was…NOT COOL. I got such a pit in my gut watching that scene. Sometimes you wish Caitriona wasn’t such a good actress & would just hang there and yell “Hey, owwww that hurts…stop…ouch…stop now.” Because watching her…like we were… taking that whipping was TOO realistic. The energy from the crowd, the anger on their faces, the panic, hurt & pain in her face. The agony on Geillis’ face too. It was all TOO MUCH.

I will continue to use this until I stop needing to.

Then he heard me! I was yelling at my TV. “JAMIE! Where the HELL are YOU! Hurry UP FFS!” Then POOF! There he WAS! Took him long enough…he could have shown up 5 minutes earlier…but we will take him when we get him!

This is a man right here…going all scottish ninja on their asses – straight through the isle knocking sheeples out of his way like bowling pins! Drawing both dirk & sword. Then Statler stands & tells Jamie he has no right to touch Claire & to stand down or something I don’t know what he said really even when I play it over & over, all I can see & hear is Jamie… ole Statler sounds like the teacher from Charlie Brown to me “WAH WAH WAH WAH”. Jamie tells him to get bent. He promised on an alter before God he would protect this woman and there aint NOTHING they can do or say that will stop him from doing that. He will drop the first stupid numpty who takes a step near him…it looks like they believe him too.

Jamie is ANTI-sheeple. THAT my friends…is A MAN FOR the people. *sigh* Followed by a THUD

This is when Geillybean takes the opportunity to do something selfless for Claire. Just as Claire did for her. I swear – girls really should stand up for one another more but getting themselves whipped n burned might be taking this whole sisterhood thing a tad far.

G-girl puts on her shoulder pads of awesomeness. Throws ’em back and screams at the crowd that Claire ain’t no witch but SHE sure as hell is…AND she has proof! BOOYA! Lookit you ignoramuses- this is the mark of the devil himself! The look of anguish on Claire’s face – Jamie looking between G- & Claire & the town people…it was as if willing them out of the door. There goes the whole damn sweater…we are left with a length of yarn. Done.

This scene gives me goose nipples! Yes. Goose nipples! We don’t get goose bumps in Canada…we get Canadian goose nipples. AKA Nippilitis. Terrible thing.

The dialogue delivered by Geillis was remarkable, the tearing of her dress to show her devils babe, the response from crowd was viscerale & then the scream. Seriously the scream as she was doing the crowd surfing…SERIOUSLY!? That was as kick ass as they come.

You can’t help but cheer for a performance like this!

It’s Jamie’s turn to tend to Claire’s wounds this time. He is being tender with her & it’s just heartbreaking to watch. He asks her if she is a witch, he needs to know. Geilwitch referred to that mark on her arm as one of the devils and he has seen the same on Claire. It didn’t seem as it would change how he felt about her but for their safety, he needed an answer. BOY did he get those answers! All of them. She told him everything. That she was from the future, how she got there, when she tried to get back & all about the things she knew. She thought for sure he would think she was a loon – but he believed her. He loved her and trusted her. If anything he was angry with himself for beating her when she tried to get back & that moment was a touching one. Touch me. Go ahead. I dare ya…

Ooops, sorry, I started to imagine…Nevermind…

You could even see in his eyes when he made a plan, while holding her… Then saying it would have been easier if she had only been a witch. Which.Was.An.Epic.Line. Delivery. Just Saying. Really slow apparently. So you know how serious I am.

Then he wouldn’t have to do – what he was going to.

Yeah…me either.

Then the man does it again. I mean this girl is getting SPOILED. He finds the best ways to wake her up, like EVER!He has become the world’s best alarm clock.

I have to find these setting on my phone.

#JAMMFdigital #JAMMForal – Dammit! All I have is vibrate. Not that that sucks in the all together. Oh well. Time to train the hubs. Shouldn’t be a problem. *snort*

Now…back to the sex scene that people said was dumped in for the sake of a sex scene. First if that was the case. We would have actually seen some full on SEX. We didn’t. We did however see a woman get gratified in a very sensual and intimate way. Jamie wanted to watch her. He wanted to remember her face, memorize how she looked while he loved her & how she felt as he held her in the palm of his hand. Now…for those who think he didn’t get any satisfaction from that? Ummmm…plenty of men get a great deal of satisfaction from watching the women they love have an orgasm especially when THEY are the reason they are experiencing it. *GASP* Don’t think he didn’t get anything out of the deal.

OH…and remember when Claire said “we rode hard for several days”. Yeah…he might be a little sore from that experience.

Plus as one of the AB-Ootlander hubby’s (@tlmfarmgirl’s man) realized while watching the show w his teenage sons. This became a teachable moment. 3rd Base – And that is how it’s done!

The next day, he asks her if she is ready to go home…YES…she says but she thinks he is talking about Lallybroch NOT the stones. It’s like he tricked her. She looks gobsmacked when she sees them. He looks gut wrenched. I admire the ability of ALL the actors on this show. Whether it be their eyes, their chins, their cheek bones, their lips or brows. They use their faces with such a great deal grace to act. It’s remarkable.

I, for one, love the way they played this. Jamie believed her heart & soul. No slapping the stones, ramming into them, no wanting her to go near them while he was there. Telling her to go & saying goodbye. Telling her there was nothing there for her save danger. In the book, it was needed, in the TV show. We need his undying belief. IN THE NOW.

But nothing being here for her…AHEM…THAT’S where you are WRONG buddy…World’s BEST ALARM CLOCK EVER! That’s SO something.

I have read the book obsessively and AGAIN I was yelling at my TV. I KNOW what happens, still, YELLING at my TV. I am pretty sure I am going to need some pretty extensive therapy by time we go into the season finale. Who the hell at Sony Canada do I send this bill to? Buddy? You?

Turning into a pillow hugging therapy needin crayon eatin …yeah…her

Claire just sits in the circle of stones. No voice over. Just her and those big ole stones. We get a shot of Claire. Tears. Maybe sobs. Hers…mine….ours. UGH. Then she stands. A quick pan to the stones & the horrid noise that goes with them. BLACKNESS!

Oh…No…They didn’t. PHEW!

I spy a campfire. I spy a worn face with tear tracks on it…awwwwwwwwwwwww!

ON YOUR FEET SOLDIER! Throw back to episode 1. Can you all crush my heart anymore? Oh wait. Yeah. You can. Take me home to Lallybroch – causes another tear to follow the track the other one left on Jamie’s cheek and he makes the sad but happy cry face.

DONE! Stick a fricken FORK IN ME! I. AM. DONE!

This Boston Pizza is beyond cooked…its burnt. Can’t go on. Take me OUT!

Until next time anyway.

Don’t forget we live tweet with Showcase – the Canadian Network! Sunday nights. 8 pm MST #OutlanderCAN

SL -The ABOotiest of the ABOotlanders

* We also have all of the previous first season reboots as well as some special addition fun stuff. Check it out for some giggles.

10 times! You pricked my what with your what?

April 15, 2015 by Sherry W.

We have made it into the DOUBLE DIGITS my people! 10 Episodes in & wowsers numero ten-o was a TEN alright. This is a whole lotta awesome jam packed into one episode…I like it like that.

Everyone involved in the production of OUTLANDER! THAT’S WHO!

First they start the episode with a cockin of a pistol…uh-huh. I know most people missed that lil reference. Me however – I never miss a cocking. Then *phew* was it hot in there or was it just me?

Girl…So hawt. Tres hawt.

Claire. Claire. Claire. It seems…Wheaties ain’t got nothing on you. You. Are The Breakfast Of Champions! (Well at least one champion we all know & love) Talk about starting your morning off with a bang. Oh wait…they didn’t quite make it that far did they? THANKS Murtagh! Seems Murtagh “SceneStealingEyeBrowRaisin’SexyTimeInterrupting” Fraser just does not know when to stop knockin so others can continue knockin.(boots that is). At least Jamie had the decency to finish the job he started before answering the door. Finished it diligently & thoroughly. According to the sounds Claire was making, quite loudly. Those doors…must be pretty damn thick, or Murtagh hasn’t cleaned the shit outta his ears in quite some time if he didn’t pick up on her satisfactory tones. There must have been at least once in Murtagh’s life he encountered a very sexually satisfied woman, because he recognized pretty quick when he saw it laying in bed. He had the where with all to at least look a bit abashed at the interruption. That last all of about a microsecond. Murtagh wastes no time! Being Jamie’s own personal town crier he let him know what was up. The Dink of Sandwiches…hmmm…nope…Dude of Boysaks…nope… Oh right. Duke of Sandringham,

This might help ring your Dukely Bell

(The last guess was pretty close -Just saying *ahem*) is in the area so now is the time to try and get Jamie off the hook for the murder of the English dragoon. That everyone knows Creepy Captain Jackoff Randall killed- not Jamie. Claire’s tingle factor has gone down substantially now that Murtagh & his eyebrows have entered the room. She has started hearing the chatter & remembering her previous life. She is not inclined to let Jamie trust Duke BootyHammer, no way no how! She lets the fellas know its because Creepy n Booty are in bed together…well…now there’s a thought isn’t it? *shudder* Jamie takes off w Murtagh to talk to Ned “iknoweverything” Gowan. At first he’s like “This is hopeless give it up”…but NO I am the great and powerful Neddie Can DO, I can fix anything you can screw up. Murtagh of course just want to hand out a hanging. Why not? If one person would look good with a rope neck tie…it’s Creep Master General! Chances are he would be using it for something kinky though. Don’t digress like I just did, the visuals ARE disturbing. Claire, left to her own devices for a while means BIZNEZ! She is not letting Laoghaire leave nasty shit under HER bed. Nu-uh! At first Laoghaire “WHO ME?” MacKenzie plays blonde and pretends she has no idea what Claire is getting at with the ill wish but she can’t hold onto the mental stability table for long. One of the table legs give out from under her as soon as Claire says “He’s just not into you.”

SNAP! Spoiled girl goes CRAYCRAY

That sends Loose Laoghaire straight over the castle walls and into the dismal mean girl zone. Declaring that Jamie is hers, always was hers & ONE DAY WILL BE AGAIN. Book fans all over the globe groan. Yeah…because we know she isn’t all that insane after all, is she now? Then she hits Claire below the belt. Saying Jamie must have to get himself drunk in order to hit the sheets with her cold english ass. Claire does not take this lightly and bitch slaps her. Pretty sure I heard cheers all the way from my newfie friends. Not sure why but Claire apologized – I thought a throat punch may have been more effective. Ummm…that was my outside voice wasn’t it? That’s gonna get me in trouble one day. Again. Then just when Claire felt bad for smacking the spoilt wee nit, LooseLips Laoghaire keep flappin her gums & tells her the only “friend” in the world she has is the one that sold her the illwish in the first place. Way to go Geillis. How’s that knife feel Claire, buddy ole pal? Deep enough for ya?

Awww somebody just got hurt real bad. Not cool.

Claire, never one to leave well enough alone, goes in search of Geillis. She finds F’arthur instead. In serious agony with rumblies in his tumblies. She passes along some medicine to his maid before he orders her to be gone. The maid however passes a little message to Claire that Geillis will be in the woods just before dawn if she really wants to meet her. Won’t be anything weird about that will there?

It wasn’t weird- per say. Mystical. Voyeuristic. Mesmerizing. I couldn’t pull my eyes away. The wee squeaks, moans & panting sounds the witch was making…because no one in their right mind can deny it now. Girlfriend. She IS a witch. (If if dances like a witch, chants like a witch & blows smoke like a witch…it’s a damn witch). Honestly, I felt more dirty watching her with her arcorns than I did while Jamie was having his breakfast.

So uncomfortable. Must watch!

That, my friends, is a stunning testament to Lotte VerBeeks acting ability. She KILLED that scene. Along with a few people…(that to come). I really enjoyed the editing as well, Claire seeing the druid dancers flashing back with Geillis. Cool trick bro.

The dialogue between Claire and Geillis after her ummm…summonsing was – entertaining. Acting like this was the most normal thing she could have been up to and Claire looking at her like. You KNOW you are cracked right? But…you’re my only friend…kinda…MAN I am SO desperate for friends I will even take the likes of YOU!

Geillis, thank goodness packed some clothes, I was worried she was going to contract a case of nipplitis that not even Claire could cure. In case you are wondering. Nipplitis. TOTALLY a thing. Serious condition here in Canada. Many women suffer from this, such a tragedy.

That coat she was wearing. Pure genius on the part of Terry & friends in the costume department. Read about it here. Super cool. She looks like someone who had just rolled off the crazy faery hillside. They mended all their fences, Geillis fed Claire some bullshit story that she didn’t know the ill wish was for her *cough* yeah right *cough*. Since she knew the illwish was a bunch of pussywillows & sticks all wrapped up with string, it didn’t matter at all to her anyway. It was just like when Claire gave the stupid little girl a vile of horse poop. You see, they are connected those two. They walk through the woods, they chat, or Geillis gossips, about Dougal, his ugly wife. Her words not mine. Gifts she has been given, their love, their baby.

Then we hear…a baby. They both hear it but only one of them cares. 3 guesses…first 2 don’t count! Claire wants to go to the crying baby & Geillis explains to her that its a Faery hill & even though SHE is the one dressed for the event, neither of them should go ANYWHERE near that damned hill! Those parents left that baby there on purpose so the faeries could give their healthy baby back that they stole from them & take that sick faery back. You know, weird shit like that. Silly superstitious nonsense & Claire knew it. Claire also knew the baby was just not thriving and probably could get better…maybe could. Geillis was like..”Screw You… after I just blew all that smoke up your ass about being my friend and how you could get me burnt at the stake…nope you are on your own – I am out! Later!”

Geillis’s cat stunt double

Claire, once again on her own & traipsing through the woods, lost & alone. She REALLY should stop doing this. It never ends well. Like. EVER. She hears some ragged coughs a few gasps of breath…the crying stops. Never a good sign. A few moments later closer to the top of the hill there is a huge tree w a small bundle. This just ain’t right. Nothing about this is right. She takes the bundle from the tree. We all know what she finds isn’t good. The baby is dead and there isn’t anything she can do for it. She does what we many would do. Sits down & grieves for it.

More feels. They take over. Then the man on the horse shows up. Jamie. Damn, he rides in and so much becomes better. He speaks so gently to her. Even though she holds such venom for the superstitions that have taken this babies life. Jamie was raised with them…he is able to explain it to her without sounding ignorant. Giving her comfort too. *BIG SIGH* His voice & demeanor is like a massive HUG to the soul. JAMIE IS A SOUL HUG! I like it…I like it a lot. #SoulHugMoment. My favourite part of this moment was when Claire looked in Jamie’s eyes and asked him to take her HOME.

We then we come to the reading & signing of THE DOCUMENT! The petition of complaint. You know the one. The one that will go down in history. Claire knows it, I see the hesitancy on her face because she knows how Frank pours over documents like this. As soon as her signature is there then…BOOM. So is she.

We get to meet the Duke next & surprise! Claire is doing stuff she shouldn’t be doing but OH she should. Sticking her nose in where it shouldn’t be…but OH it should. Testing the waters so to speak. This is because Claire is from another time. No wallflower is she. She is putting hers firmly on the table with the Duke. Don’t screw with me dude! Your balls…are mine.

Considering he is used to dealing with men or boys…*ahem*…he isn’t quite sure how to deal with this one. So he hands over his set to her…for now. Let’s just say.

Back to the castle we go to watch one hell of a performance by Graham McTavish. Seriously Dougal. Go home…you’re drunk. Oh wait, you were home…kinda. Turns out, Geillis’s summonsing turned out to be pretty darned effective and Dougal’s wife caught a fever and boom, within days. Died. Dougal taken over by…not sure its grief or guilt got blithering drunk & went postal in the Great Hall. Colum – is not a happy camper. He sent out the fella’s to find Claire to mix up one of her sedatifs *wink* to settle him the hell down.

Dougal put on quite a show. Hollering & fighting anyone that got in his way. Crying about his poor dead wife, Maura, ummm…talking about how no one would have found her attractive – even a blind dude – but that she still didn’t deserve him. Yeah, point taken buddy. Angus, spry & smart, gathered up Claires sleeping potion. Enough to fell a horse apparently – cuz it did, into a bottle of port & gave cheers to Dougal’s dead wife encouraging Dougal to drink more, he did…then…TIMBER – down went the big man- not in the good way. Only took 6 of ’em to carry him out of the hall.

Geillis & Claire meet in the courtyard. Geillis is giddy her handy work was effective. Claire is thinking shes crazy- it was just a coincidence & besides you still have a husband remember? We get the GeillisGiggle. Only…it isn’t very funny is it?

Back to the Duke’s. Look who is in trews? Yup, Jamie. Our hero knows when he has to guard his back door doesn’t he? I mean…sure Murtagh is there but you can never be too careful can you?

The tete & tete & tete between them was…interesting and down right comical at times. The Duke touching Murtagh, it was like you could see it on his face he wanted to go & wash in the nearest trough or punch him in the nearest throat. *snort*. Having Jamie take part in the dual with him as his second for his scrubbing of his back. GREAT way to implement the story & HAHAHA! LOVED it.

There has been sooooo much speculation in the fandom since that dual clip came out & EVERYONE knew exactly what it was of course. Naturally NO ONE knew…this was BRILLIANT. Again. LOVE what they did. Not because I HAVE to but because it was SMART! The way the Duke petted Jamie’s face…his reaction. This was just awesome.

The Duke was apparently getting his fingers on everyone in the room 😛

SO much happened in the episode it was kinda epic really. The Great Hall was next & this is where…it didn’t take a summonsing. Geillis was done with F’Arthur. It was time his show came to a close…it was time for his grande finale! It was a huge dinner in honour of the Duke and cyanide was F’Arthurs main course. When he went down – Geillis pushed her chair back and let him – watched in silence – let Claire take care of business, pulled out a newspaper & cigarette…ok…maybe she didn’t do that but she sure looked disinterested those first few moments.

Everyone stood…agast…then she stood. She & Dougal made doe eyes across the crowded room. Over the foaming & dead mouth of her bloated body of a husband, a calculating Twistycone figuring out everything staring at them both…it was SO romantic!

SO MUCH SARCASM

Then…to the dual with the MacDonalds that Jamie has promised to be Dukie boys second for. It had to the be the most pathetic excuse for a dual like. Ever. Two what looked like old guys shooting blanks at each other. Then deciding to drink to it. It was the – what comes after that make it interesting. 3 nasty little MacDonald boys with little man syndrome have to start measuring each others wieners verbally. Jamie goes and makes a bit of a mistake – throws a “Yo Mama” joke at them but TURNS his back on them. At least the wee twit who goes after him had the presence of mind to yell “Buggering Sodomite” at him before he struck. Bit redundant isn’t he?

buggers sodomize…sodomites bugger…yes…yes

Here we get to see Jamie’s AWESOMENESS with a sword…n…stuff. He took a beating but kept on tickin! Damn that was fun to watch! I don’t suppose Jamie will want McDonalds for a while. I felt the same after the last time I had it too. But then again, I’m a glutard.

That was pretty funny shit when Duke TailBetweenmyLegs Sandringham came running over telling Jamie, “Now make sure you let your wife know THIS wasn’t my fault! Here, let me take this petition and get it taken care of. Buh Bye Now! You lay here and catch your breathe I’m going. I’m a big puss.”

Imma chickenshit

Not that Claire cared whose fault it was. Silent treatment was given when he was being stitched up. Pretty sure she regretted that with what was to follow.

Twistylegs McTwisterson pissing all over EVERYONE! Holy CRAP…little man anger is very loud and big. No one was free of his ire. Dougal couldn’t even CRY to get sympathy…the little meany LAUGHED at him when he did. So BANISHED! He banished Dougal to his home. Go home to your dead wife. You can’t be here for your pregnant mistress cuz she is a witch & a temptress…no way you are marrying her. I will take care of that shit! It is ABOUT TO GET REAL ‘ROUND HERE! Jamie…YOU are going too- without your wife. DON’T you talk or I will cut out that tongue you have become so good at using.

NOT the TONGUE!

Seriously Twisty…that was going too far. Pulling the tongue card. How incredibly UNJUST! And for the record young Jamie…you will be BABYSITTING Dougal. You have displeased the wee king of the castle SO much by shedding McDonald blood without HIS permission, you are being punished too. WTG Jamie. So not cool.

Now, time for Jamie & Claire to say their goodbyes. What’s the first thing Jamie says to her? STAY AWAY from Geillis Duncan because TwistyLegs plans on punishing her. STAY AWAY! BE CAREFUL. She says she will – but we know better.

She NEVER listens. Never. Never. Listens.

So Jamie swallows her goodbye. *snort* Good one Dougal. Way to break up the feels. Real kneeslapper!

The tender loving moments between Jamie & Claire capture us now don’t they? *sigh* He rides off with her watching him. She tells him to come back to her “As soon as I can” he says and kisses her forhead. Collective FanSigh.

Next up…Tomas Tomas Tomas…sure he looks scared poopless but really kid. This woman saved your life & now you’re passing her this fake note to send her to Geillis? *sigh*

This is what our note would have said.

Claire confronts Geillis on poisoning F’Arthur, she is scandalized & completely out to lunch. Thinking Dougal will protect her. Yeah ummm, he’s gone. TwistyLegs, is the only one left & he kinda is the one with all the power and he wants ye burnt…like yesterdays toast.

We interrupt this witch burning for a Canadian Heritage moment

Back to our regularly scheduled programming. G- know it now…You are hooped! And because Claire didn’t see our part of the note…the wardens get 2 sorceresses for the price of 1. WTG. You are going to have a fine time getting out of this one.

Then because the production is class A rubbing salt in the wound of Claire “can’t just suffer that much” Fraser. We have a lovely shot of the wee pot stirrer. Laoghaire. The person we ALL love to hate. Beautiful. Yet…she looks a wee bit different – Green about the middle somehow.

Claire sees her. I think if she could go all hulk on those steel bars – she would. Underestimated that one didn’t you?

See you all next time! Don’t forget EVERY Sunday we try to LIVE TWEET with our Showcase viewing. 8 pm MST. #OutlanderCAN

If you wanna play before the next blog – swing by our TWITTER. @ABOotlanders or leave a comment here. I will probably reply. Eventually.

A bunch of us are heading down to The Expo in Calgary this week/end. It’s going to be FUN times. GRAHAM MCTAVISH people. That’s right. I will be attempting to touch him. #THUD

The end.

SL the ABOotiest of ABOotlanders

I reckon The Reckoning was JUST what the doctor ordered. Dr. Jekyll that is

April 8, 2015 by Sherry W.

Get your nuts here. Real nuts. Actual Nuts.

Wow & wow. This episode pulled out all the stops & it seems to have split the fandom- which seems a little nutty to me.

First 1000 thank yous to ALL of those involved in the creation of this series. I know there are people out there that make it their mission to pick everything apart, make fun of shit & feel it’s their given right to voice their very gnarly opinions. My truth is…we should feel privileged to have something to complain about. I won’t because I am grateful to have it in front of my face in the first place. Being entitled isn’t my jam.

The Reckoning was all I could have hoped for – and even more. It was from Jamie’s POV. BRILLIANT. Well played Mr. Moore n company. WELL PLAYED!

Not only because we got to hear his voice overs, lets face it…Sam Heughan’s voice is like mozzarella fingers….smooth n melty melty melty. It was a rock solid plan considering the parts of the story that were going to be told. I loved the opening scene, like a young boy, skipping rocks…just talk Jamie. Keep. Talking. Everyone else shut your damn mouth, Jamie is talking to ME.

Yes. Horrocks. Jerk feed. Shoulda beat his teeth in. Now-wee Willie Winky blow your horn. Really kid? Is it really too much to tell the truth? You went for a piss did you? Nu-uh. As demonstrated later on in the episode by Murtagh & Jamie, a piss only takes a few seconds. You my friend went for a poop. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone poops. They even write books about it. But poopin is for sure what you were doing, other wise Claire would not have had time to wander SO FAR to have found the stones & been caught by the dreaded redcoats and as I like to call him – Captain Creep Master General. That dude has some serious warped inner dialogue that transforms right to his features. Tobias, you are scary. In a good way. If that’s possible.

Off go the fearsome foursome to save the damsel in distress. Murtagh, Rupert, Angus & Jamie. These are four dudes you do not want to meet in a back alley somewhere. They took a whole garrison in one fell swoop! Murtagh and his nighty night cracks to the noodle. Which he is probably known for in the Highlands. “Och, yer havin trouble sleepin? Aye, go visit Murtagh…ye’ll not feel a thing”

Scaling walls with very iffy ropes! I mean come on Jamie, ya gave that thing a tug…it HARDLY seemed stable but SURE…we’ll go down it and take the chance of rope burning your balls to charred bits.

Blowing up barrels o’ pitch & beating the hell out of redcoats with muskets…and bashing that smug nasty sunnuva whoseit face off the desk. Now that’s entertainment folks!

The dialogue between the 3 was entertainment in itself. Captain Creepy was showing off his fetishes a bit “want him to join us?” “Umm pardon excuse me” Claire showing off her big ole medicine balls by threatening to cut off his. Ha. That girl, she will not go down without getting her own in will she? I must say the ass Captain, did seem like he was pulling on her hair a bit rough. Dude, this is TV…calm your nuts a bit. Cait needs that stuff- its a part of her character.

: Take a lesson from Gilbert…lighten up

People have to constantly be reminded THIS IS TV. Why didn’t Jamie kill BJR right there and then? Well…consider this. That would mean Captain Creepy’s story would be over. He would then- create no more havoc. THAT’S JUST NOT ACCEPTABLE. Sheesh. Wentworth knows there is SO much more havoc to be caused.

DUH!

I keep hearing on the interwebs “That didn’t happen in the books.” “They left that out” and sadly it’s usually attached to a tirade of whining.

Hear YE Hear YE! How bloody bored would we get if it were EXACTLY how it were in the books? Seriously? Those of us who know the books…and yes…really know the books. Read them a dozen times or more. We have seen them in our minds o’er and o’er again. The novelty, my friends, would wear off really bloody fast. Another thing…they wouldn’t translate to TV as nicely as you would romanticize in your head. Let the professionals take care of it and shhhhhhhh. Enjoy it. Let the changes be something new and exciting to add to the story you fell in love with. Not a take away. Perspective people.

The fight between Jamie & Claire on the way to Leoch was perfect. The fire, the intensity, the way they got into each others faces. Just like real people do when they are at their breaking points. I loved the way Claire kept jumping in front of Jamie, forcing him to face her & when he finally snapped, spit flying in her face. I sang Murtaghs knock out song “THANK YOU” to the screen because they pulled it off. Then…Snap. Crackle. Pop. Goes Jamie’s wee heart. He vowed to protect her and he just lost his shit all over the place. The whole day came crashing down on him and so did his heart. Sam really didn’t have to recite the lines, his face said most of his dialogue for him. Yup….guts….out. SPLATTOOIE!

Forgiven. Well…for that lil transgression anyway. Claire isn’t really prepared for part 2.

The highlanders play “ignore the Sassenach”. Not even looking at her- acknowledging her existence in anyway. Dammit…just when she got in good with them – and ummmm…they did just save her life. Whateves…sigh

We all knew what was next. We all wondered just how they would handle this little piece of the puzzle. Some hoped they wouldn’t show it, some couldn’t wait to see it. The truth is, we all have this little thing called a personal viewing filter. It is made up of life experiences. It is made up of our every day. It is made up of how we process & perceive things. It is there because of how our lives were shaped. Guess what? WE ARE ALL RIGHT! DUN DUN DUN! I can not for one second argue with someone that has been a victim of domestic violence that their viewpoint has no merit. I can not for one second argue with someone who has been a survivor of sexual assault and healed has no merit. It is pointless to argue with someone who has logical facts about time, personal accounts and realism on their side. I refuse to get into debates with people about time periods & punishments because frankly, this is a story. A story that Diana Gabaldon wrote and now was being made into TV. This scene, and others to come, are intricate parts of said story. I believe they handled this one beautifully.

It showed Jamie’s determination. His logic for his actions. It shows Claire’s no bullshit, not going down without a fight attitude & the spirit of the scene was just that. Take your personal filter out of it for a moment, if you dare – see it for what it was. Character building & story telling. My favourite part of that scene was Claire backing up like a cat in a corner & of course binging things off of Jamie’s head. Girlfriend has a wicked arm! She would be my first pick in a fast ball tourney. No doubt.

Back at Castle Leoch you would think from the reception things would be awesome. Seriously, everyone needs a Mistress Fitzgibbons in their corner…don’t they? What a cheering section!

Biggest WHOOHOOS alright. Next to Laoghaire’s *snicker*

Have that follow you around all day. Make someone feel like a million guineas. I have to say…Colum really turned out to be a fun sucker though. You want a party pooper? Invite old TwisteyLegs McTwisterson to the festivities. He’ll do it quick like.

The politics in the episode swept me away! I really which Harper would take some ball growing lessons from old Colum. Dude might be shooting blanks but he sure knows how to grow ’em. The Jacobite cause is an underlying catch in the first book- with much more in DIA so I loved how they made it such a bone of contention here. It really makes the storyline come off the pages. When Dougal went on his tirade and dropped the bomb…you know…YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER all Maury Povich up in the house! I was like “Damn Guuuurl!”

Having that be a power struggle with the MacKenzie men & within the clan itself was Grade A MacKenzie Meat Sandwich. Make a donair outta that and bring me two! It gave Jamie some much needed time to develope as one whose strategizes & lets others make the moves. It was a very Laird-Like moment for him, aiding Colum in mending that crack in the armour with Dougal.

I have to just say Murtagh, every scene he is in. He steals it for me. Scene Thief! Sound the alarm. Especially in the wood when the boys were putting a pounding on WeeWillieWinkie…and Dougal asked them were they with him.Murtagh went and hocked a loogie. That was a resounding “Up yers” wasn’t it?

That brings us down by the river. Another scene which I am SO glad they added, even if as the time I was the WTF?! The more I thought about it, the smarter I thought it was. Some see this as making Jamie weak. Are you serious? Some see it as making him less honourable? Ummmmm…you be cray cray. Laoghaire…came down to his “secret place”- basically told him she has been stalking him since she was 7. Ok. That’s a bit more than a crush. Jamie KNOWS that he didn’t dismiss her affections all this time. He is aware he got himself into this mess. He now needed to get himself out.

When girlfriend pretty much disrobes and put his hand on the top of her bewb (thats how he says it) – all of a sudden the Outlander fandome expects Jamie to turn into INSTADICK. That he would rip his hand away & proclaim his love for Claire & break her heart at the ready. Let’s not forget. Jamie, is a man. (Well he IS a character..but I am digressing)…bewbies are warm….they feel nice…and they tend to make men stop thinking. Why you say? Because most men can supply oxygen to one head at a time and it took him a moment to get the blood back to the one he needed to be thinking with, and he did. He was letting her down as gently as he could because…he is a man of honour. The one everyone wants him to be. It’s because everyone hates Laoghaire and thinks she a nasty wench…she had done nothing up to THAT point to say she was, except try to get the man that she loved to be with her. With that Jamie was being kind & caring. You know, the kind & caring Jamie everyone wants him to be – but because so many hate Laoghaire- they want him NOT to be kind & caring with her.

Remember, Jamie hasn’t read the books. All I can picture is fans all over the world screaming at poor Jamie…READ THE BOOK! You are supposed to be perfect you regular piece of shit human! snort

Can we have make up sex now? PUHLEASE? Jamie going back to Claire & their room, contemplating how he was going to get back into her…good graces. Dude. Is. Good. I am glad he did a little soul searching, he became a man in that room. Admitting that his relationship with her meant more to him than everything he had been taught since he was a lad. I did have to giggle when he said this about Colum though. “I saw a rigid man bend” I shouldn’t have laughed but…ummmm the guy is bending starting at the ankles, it was an analogy that just…you know…ok. I will stop.

If you are going to break a steely girl heart, a good way to do it is pull out your dirk…and swear your loyalty to her.

The dialogue that took place after, right before they got into the HOT HOT HOT sex was perfect. Him asking if she wanted to live separately, her admitting she probably should but that wasn’t the way of it, then them coming together. Slight pun intended here. The intimacy that was displayed was intense & yeah, I might have felt a little voyeuristic but in a really good way.

I have heard some say this scene was like soft porn. Ahem. Folks. No. GO pick up yourself some soft porn – I know soft porn – this ain’t it. This is however GOOD TV SEX! I would much rather see our couple actually coupling rather than looking like they are a soap opera sliding into bed and rubbing 2 sticks together. That is NOT Jamie & Claire sex like I read it…to be perfectly honest with you, neither is what they showed me. What I read- is full on pornography…I have a FANTASTIC imagination. What they pulled off in this episode was flipping brilliant. It looked like actually make up sex! I laugh that more people didn’t freak about Claire pulling the knife on Jamie & threatening to gut him while she was riding him. This of course was perfect timing on her part because any man will promise anything during an intense sexual encounter such as this. “New house babe? Sure…just don’t stop!” “That new ring…YES! How many carats!? Keep going!” It’s a fantastic power position. Ladies, start your engines & get a grip, being sexually empowered is a MUST.

Making our way to the last dramatic GASP.

LAOGHAIRE DUNDUNDUN

The illwish. That Jamie didn’t know it was Laoghaire in the books made me think he was a few fries short of a happy meal (in the books) but with the extra scenes in the show…of course he would know and right away. I loved the dramatic effect they threw in for the show. This is ALWAYS necessary – it’s a) fun for audience b) it makes the scene pop c) it shows peeps this is important. To play it off as not a big deal…people would be whiney about that.

TV shows need triangles. I am really looking forward to what they do with Laoghaire. Nell Hudson is fantastic. The Colum/Dougal/Jamie thing is fantastic. I must say all the added bits, as a book fan get me all revved up! I KNOW the books! I love the books, but they are the books. This is something new. BRING IT ON.

SL- the AB-Ootiest of all ABOotlanders (that mean I have the biggest arse)

It’s a Droughtlander Mirage…Nope…Nope …It’s FREAKIN EPISODE 9! Right there on the horizon!

April 4, 2015 by Sherry W.

That’s right my CanknuckleHeads…Episode 9 is right around the corner. Yes we need to wait one day more than our American friends…but WHO THE HELL CARES?! Showcase did it for us…YES THEY DID! ONE DAY…not 2 weeks like last time. They done cleaned the shit outta their ears and heard the fans. They have been picking up the pace lately. Wicked!

Did you ALL SEE THIS? It is a contest put on by Showcase. All you have to do is watch Outlander. Seriously…tough job man. There will be a “secret word”, follow some simple instructions (You can dooooo eeet!)

and some lucky son of a biznatch will win a trip to Scotland, a tour of SET & lots of other goodies…I mean FOR REALS! That is a HUGE step up from the $25.00 Subway gift card NO? WTG Showcase. Way to step up the game.

We know that Starz had a premature release of Episode 9…and usually women aren’t too fond of the premature release idea. However this time, our friends in the States went BATSHITCRAYCRAY on social media.

Making the rest of us…slightly jealous. Suuuuuuure we are happy for them. Suuuuuuuuure.

Nope…Ain’t even mad. Nu-uh. Happy for you bit…very good friends.

Now, what to do while we wait the 30 some odd hours until Outlander returns to our screens. I suggest drink heavily or sleep your way through it. Pass the time anyway you can to shorten it up. You know, you can always watch your DVD’s on loop, all the special features until the Episode airs. That’s a thing

You don’t even have to put pants on

You will see the @ABOotlander crew live tweeting with you each week. We use the hashtag #OutlanderCAN , come join us! The more the merrier. You don’t even have to be Canadian. You can cue up your PVR & we will tell you where are commercials are. Uh-huh…we have those. I know. It’s ok, you can use those to refill your drink or take a potty break. So as you can see, w can make you an honourary one of us. Believe me, you will LOVE the outfit!

See ya on the flip side! 18th century Scotland…here we come!

SL – AB-ootiest of AB-Ootlanders

We have gone through “the change”…

March 22, 2015 by Sherry W.

Oh yeah…

Everyone goes through the change. You know, when you mature. Grow up, realize it’s time to move on to your own identity. Be your own people.

That’s what happened with the this lil Outlander fan group from Alberta. We are a tight knit group with a great big heart & and even bigger belief system. We hold the #BeKind way of life very close to our hearts. We also encourage everyone in our world to #AAPI.

We think when you do this it helps you live a happier life. Even if the people you are communicating with aren’t being positive – you can try to assume positive intent and it will flip their words around on themselves and you can walk away with a sly smile and let it fall away…where it belongs. AWAY FROM YOU. Negativity and vitriol don’t belong in our cotton candy scented bubbles of life. We are happy where we are – Nastiness, entitlement & telling others how they should behave or what they should do isn’t a part of our happy place.

Happiness for us is- LOVE, LAUGHTER, SUPPORT, COMPASSION, UNDERSTANDING & FREEDOM to be ourselves.

Oh right…and balls…lotsnlotsa balls!

BALLS ARE FUN!

AB-Ootlander makes sense. Here is why.

Our core group, is from Alberta. AB. We are fans of OUTLANDER. We talk ABOUT OUTLANDER. Everyone thinks Canadians say Aboot, not About. Abootlander,The Abootlanders were born. We like us.

We figured we were more than the culmination of 2 fan groups. We adore Sam Heughan – We adore Caitriona Balfe – however- we adored Diana Gabaldon first – We also adore Graham McTavish – We also adore Tobias, Grant, Steven, let us go on and on, the whole cast is stellar, we discuss all the books in detail, we discuss each episode & speculate about future episodes & conspiracy therories. However, the most important thing…we have connected with one another.

This means our group has become more about us & our relationships because of this amazing Outlander phenomenon. ABOUTLANDER! ABOotlander. I know you get it now. It’s about us. Which is what it should be about right? Yeah…I know.

It.Just.Makes.Sense.

And the Beaver…well…come on…what did you expect? We are Canadian. Beavers are our jam. Our Beav’s name is Toger. It rhymes with “Roger” and there is a certain scene in the TV show where Murtagh mentions Ruperts…I don’t think he meant his Beaver though.

Toger goes on some adventures in ABOotlander Land. Be sure to watch for his awkward moments. Like this…

Or his shenanigans with his new BFF’s…

Just because we have a new name doesn’t mean we are different. Shit will still come out of our mouths when you least expect it or are really hoping for it. We will defend those who we want to & we will be authentic to who we are. We will do our best to be better than we were yesterday & we sure as hell know we aren’t perfect and don’t expect you to be either.

Keep smiling.

Stay Kind.

Stay Awesome.

Proud & Strong AB-Ootlander

There are some Heart Stones I would like to travel through. 4 yrs please.

February 23, 2015 by Sherry W.

Us ABOotlanders are great at tickling your funny bone. We know. You have told us. We are also good at making you think. We know. We have offended you.

Oh…offended…that’s when you identify personally with what I am saying. Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Today, we are going to maybe make you think about those who have left this world a little earlier than you wanted them to.

4 years ago today. I received an unexpected message. Brig, my Original Outlander partner in crime, died. She…just…was….gone.

My heart hurts.

I hadn’t spoken to her for a long time. Regret. Guilt. Both set in. So…I go through my very own mental stones. The stones of my heart. To the moments we shared.

This is where I smile.

Brig & I.

Discovering Outlander together. Devouring the books. Brig called me laughing one night saying “I can’t believe what I did, I told Tom I was sick, put the book under my sweater (it probably had flowers on it…I loved her sweaters) and went to bed to read.” This was SO funny because really, you never met a more pragmatic woman…as Brig. She was GERMAN. Very German. She taught me so much about life.

We would go for coffee at the local Timmie’s in Pembroke, Ont. This is when they had a smoking FishBowl built in. We would smoke & drink coffee after coffee. Don’t judge eh? The ventilation was awesome I tell ya! *cough* This was a looooooong time ago! (and yes, I quit smoking many many years since)

YAK YAK *cough* *cough* YAK YAK

We talked Jamie. We talked Claire. We talked the diabolical mind that was Diana Gabaldon & what it would be like to meet her one day. (The day I finally did. I thought of Brig…and she was gone.) Brig was so enamoured with Jamie & she was the first of us to bring up the chance of a movie. The more discussion we had on the subject…we came to the conclusion. A movie would NEVER do. They would have to make a TV series out of this but boy would what we knew of TV have to change. Brig said boobs on TV would happen. Men pay for porn why not people paying for TV? She was a smart woman. Telling the future and shit. She was a witchy woman. Her hubby called ME Dragon Lady but his own wife – she was the scary one! Another reason I loved her so much. She was always thinking out of the box with me. She never called me crazy when I did it. O.k. She DID call me crazy but ran right along with me! Ok…she walked, we didn’t like running…it made us breathe heavy – could have been all the smoking back then. The things you do when you’re young…*shake my head*

When we talked about Jamie, we were pretty singular in our thinking. There was NO ONE that could play the part. O.K. There was but we hadn’t met him yet. 1st- He had to be a theatrically trained actor. HAD to. No one else could possible catch those nuances. No one. 2nd- He had to be a Scot. Not to be able to do the accent but to be able to get to the heart of Jamie. C’mon, you know it as well as we do, an Englishman or an American could NOT capture the heart of who Jamie is…get that connection. Nope…can’t ever convince me. Jamie is not just a character. Brig used to say Jamie IS the Highlands so if he comes to life only a Scot can dig into that. It always made sense to me. 3rd- He couldn’t be a big star. Why? Because people had to be able to see him become Jamie. Not see whatever other roles he had played overshadow this one.

You know what else I think of when I think of Brig? Besides the fact that this woman passed away before ever seeing the EXACT version of her Jamie come to life?

She never got the chance to complain about it. She never got the chance to whine about inconsistencies in the show or pick it apart. Lily of the valley or Claire’s squished boobs – you know why? Because she passed away before her dream of seeing it become a reality came about. Not that she would have because she likely would have felt extraordinarily grateful for being alive to see the pictures come to fruition in front of her. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the fact that we have the right to complain, the ability to see nuances or just because we can…we forget…to be happy or grateful for what we have…that WE CAN – and to simply live in the light of that.

I hadn’t spoken to Brig for a couple of years before she died. I moved away from the place we lived, life got busy…you know. Life goes on. Until it doesn’t. And then we wish we could go back.

I know for a fact if Brig didn’t die, Outlander, the TV show, would have been the thing that brought us back together…and that makes me so so sad. Every time I hear the opening credits, every time & I do mean every time, I see Sam Heughan as Jamie…I think of Brig, I say to myself “Are you SEEING this?” I know she would go into “SQEEEE times 3” mode. Believe me, Brig was NOT the SQEEE kinda gal but for this…she would be shocking everyone in her life. We would be back on the phone laughing; like the years we didn’t talk, never happened. We would be sharing our memories like we WILLED these moments to happen. She would have adored Caitriona Balfe. Strong women were her kryptonite. It was the one thing she strove for – to be sure her daughter was a strong woman, independent. Brig knew her parents loved her, and she loved them. Physical love, however, wasn’t a strong presence in her upbringing. She promised herself, her little girl wasn’t going to grow up like that. She was going to be hugged, loved & shown she was the most important person in this world & could do anything she wanted. I have seen that girl grow into a woman…and now a mother of a little girl that Brig didn’t get to hold.

Outlander would have brought me and Brig back to all of these things. We would be doing our form of Fangirling all over again. But we aren’t…because she’s not and it breaks my squeeing heart.

Brig wherever you are, it’s happening. I hope you can see it. I hope you can read over Diana’s shoulder to see what I can’t. I hope you can watch the filming, where I can’t.

You have a beautiful grand-daughter …

Beautiful wee lassie Madelyn Brigitte

staring up at you. I hope she will grow up knowing her Glamma was one of the original Outlander Fangirls.

I hope you have a peaceful heavenly birthday. Blow out those candles Brig, you know…like the good old days.

You know BLOW is just an expression RIGHT!?
We are in PUBLIC! *She loved me*

I miss you my original Outlander Posse…with all my heart.

Sher

POSTSCRIPT due to *lovely*DM

Before you ASSume that our time in our fishbowl is what caused Brigs death – it’s not, not even close.

BE KIND! Few things piss me off more than people saying someone “asked” to die because of behaviours or risks they take in life. It is THEIR life…THEIR risks. We all do take risks but it doesn’t mean we want to die. To hell with this foolishness that people deserve death because they took the skihill beyond their capabilities, or they became addicted to something, or they loved too hard, or they were sick…to hell with that. SO THERE.

Outlander Bedtime Stories – Droughtlanders in the Bedroom

February 10, 2015 by Sherry W.

I have been reading the Outlander books for over 20 yrs. Repeatedly. I have hardcover copies, tattered & well loved paper back copies, a kobo ebook with all the books & the audio books in my vehicle so I can listen to them wherever I go.

Which has made for some fun conversations with Diana Gabaldon on Twitter. Oh that woman is fun!

You might say I have a problem…it’s that whole #cracklander dealio we first talked about in October. You know something…I still have my teeth, I don’t get the shakes there are no open sores. I might occasionally sweat a little bit – maybe I twitch but you have no idea how cute I look when I do it – so IT’S ALL GOOD!

My husband…my dear, sweet wonderful husband. I have been with him for over 26 yrs, married going on 22.

Insert AWWWWW here We were always friggen adorable. Don’t mind the porn stach…it was the 80’s…we both regret it

He was never a friend of #JAMMF. Just never liked him. Always saying his name in a high pitched whine. Jaaaaaaaammmiiiiiieeeeee! Referred to as my book boyfriend. The one who could do no wrong.

It was subtle. Annoying. A little funny at times as he really knew only little tidbits he saw on the back of a random book or heard what a friend & I talking about over coffee w our SIGHING, Oooh Jamie’s & generally fangirling before we even knew what the hell fangirling was.

It did however, look like this, even 20 years ago- at my kitchen table.

It was just a slight hate on and general discontent UNTIL…they announced…THE SHOW…and Jamie had a real live FACE. It was Sam Heughan bringing James Fraser to life. DUN DUN DUN! and…really….what a face. AMMIRIGHT?

He HAD said, many years ago…he refused to read the book but if they ever made it a TV show. He’d watch it…Fat chance I thought. Like that would ever happen. It would have to be EPIC. My first kitchen table girlfriend Brig (RIP Brig) & always said Jamie would have to be an unknown, a Scot, & preferably a theater actor…

They went ahead and rang our bell 3 times! Ugh! *SQUIRREL*

SO HA! I got him.

*In his defense* The man, who is my husband, doesn’t read ANYTHING. Ok…thats a lie, if it has glossy pages and hangs over the back of the toilet, he will take a minute or two.

This means, we watched.I was surprised he gave it chance. He loved it. Not just because of THE BENEFITS. He loved Claire, her character (he’s a dude, he likes her bewbs too, not gonna lie). Dougal…badass supreme…and once the series went on hiatus he hit the WTF happens next wall???

Well…I knew…he knew HOW I knew…and he knew I would read it again & he hates reading so…HE ASKED ME TO READ IT TO HIM! *THUD* No way? A dream come friggen true! He wants me…to read my favourite story…to him…at night…before we fall asleep? Every night? What the who?

GASPINCANUCKALHEADS

There have been many times I thought I hit the husband jackpot. Seriously. The dude is a chef. He does laundry. Brings me coffee in the mornings. Washes dishes. Rubs my feet & I don’t even spend a lot of time on the suckers… This was the million dollar spin my people…the million dollar mutherstinkin spin! All because he can’t stand not KNOWING! He knew the info was out there in the form of a book, a really big book. If it looked like this…that would be a maybe for on his own but it doesn’t so it became our little bedtime ritual. I didn’t realize how entertaining he was going to be. When we got to Dragonfly in Amber (which we are 34% through now) I started hashtagging it on twitter. #Outlander #bedtimestories for anyone that might be interested.

I am going to flash back a bit here to show you a little of what the late night reads of Outlander sounded like…

“Wait…Dougal has hair?” “What colour is rustit?” Apparently…understanding the TV & my reading is just as easy…russet…not rustit…I still had to explain what colour russet was too. It’s that same colour as rustit if you are curious. You will get about 50 different shades if you hit the google when you look for russet…look up rustit, you are on your own.

“Jelly is just as freaky in the book” Jelly is what he calls Geillis – if you didn’t catch that on your own.

“Ok. I knew why you were hot for Jamie when I watched him in the show but this lady writes him like a GOD! Who can compete with that?” Oh babe…you can. When I close my eyes. Heehee. My man does dishes & laundry. Huge score.

I find it highly annoying that my man figures things out in the read. Like people don’t really die. I was always shocked when someone popped up later in the book. Him, when you hear of their death, he says something like “Yep RIGHT! Bet they come back! That lady (DG) seems like she likes to mess with peoples heads!”

When we got to Wentworth things got uncomfortable. Hubs knew the outcome of what BJR did to Jamie. He used to tease my friends and I all the time. His lame attempts to make Jamie seem less masculine. “He gets it in the bum you know? Right!?”

In the where!?

Yeah… I never said he was the most mature ok?

That was his way of emasculating this book hero that he was jealous of. It became his “go to line”.

But…no…not butt. But, work with me people.

It was bedtime story time. Claire found Jamie. I was shocked at his reaction. He cried. My husband.

Shhhh ‘sok

He cried when Claire left him behind. I always cried & he went ahead & cried along with me “There’s something in my eye. It’s Claire. God, Diana is good. This part is gonna be tough to watch for real.” For REAL! He said for real. These characters have become real for him. The lump in my throat became a physical thing I had to swallow.

*GULP*

I was a little surprised when he didn’t blink that Claire killed a wolf. WITH her bare hands. “Yeah…Claire killed a wolf. Now if she’d been drinking like she always does..she would have become kibble, tasty kibble, whisky kibble.” Point made.

He knew what was coming next & all joking was aside, well maybe not all…guys gotta remain macho. “I don’t think I shoulda ate those chicken wings, my belly is a bit shaky.” “Marley – dude- you are givin me an innie.” & the forever famous “How am I ever supposed to get a boner again after hearing you read this stuff?”

No. More. Boners.Ever.

We got through Wentworth with more than a few “Holy shits” “Htf can someone even THINK of that kinda stuff to write it down?” & “I don’t even know if I can kiss your damn mouth after you said those gnarly things. “Jackie must not have been breast fed. Or loved. Ever.By anyone…was he left in a haystack by a pack of monkies?” He likes to call BJR Jackie. It is his way to emasculate HIM now.

It made me giggle when he asks to see the book jacket. “Let me see your book. I need to see who wrote this stuff again! Her? She doesn’t look like a twisted sicko…she looks sweet.Whats up with that?”

She does look sweet does’t she? *wink*

Rescuing Jamie was a high point for him. He of course KNEW that would happen (as he reminded me OVER & OVER & OVER again) as I had 7 other books on my shelves. Who the hell did I think was the hero in those? DERP!

What kinda idiot did I think he was anyway?

Let’s not answer that right now.

However, the use of cows was a pretty “crazy ass” thing to do…and even though Dougal is one of his favourite characters in both Book & in the TV show, hubcycle mentioned numerous times he was extremely disappointed in the douche move of not helping Claire out in the rescue attempt. Saying he missed out on some huge possible “cop a feel” points if Jamie was stuck there a while.

Dougal, you have let him down…so sad

He thinks if HE was Dougal, he would have (copped a feel is MY guess). So he made sure I knew that he hopes Ron fixes that. For the record, I think he believes he is most like Dougal. More because he thinks I am most like Geillis (It must be the bat shit crazy and that they like to bang boots).

He was a fan of the hand setting. All of the “cool & groady” comments clinched it & he really enjoyed McRannoch. He however was not a fan of the “Crisco bum” moment as he called it. For him, some things are better left unimagined. He really would rather not think about that any more than he had to.

No can compute.Delete now.

Hubilicious wondered out loud if they will change the soldier that Claire kills from a 16 yr old boy to a young man…you know so all the ladies won’t get their panties turned inside out. Don’t get your panties turned inside out because I recounted his thoughts verbatim. We both know THAT is going to be hard to watch too if they stay with that little fact. One of those things that make you go…hmmmm. Reading it is one thing…seeing it. Another.

The Abbey was hard enough for me to read on my own all 20 times I had done it.

The first time I have ever read it out loud to someone I love. THAT was tough. It was quiet. Intense. Raw. Intimate. He cried. Again. These characters have struck a chord in him. He feels for them & with him. “You’re tearin my guts out. He said that right?”

Yeah. He did.

Until next time.

SL ABOotlander gal

Do the math…we GOT this thing. You are invited – #OutlanderCANCAN

February 5, 2015 by Sherry W.

There are 8 wks left. 8 wks. left. We have 8 episodes in the bank. Did you do the math? Huh? Eh? What? Wait!

math math numbers plus equals dinosaurs in purple

Frankly, that math was easy enough. We have it figured out, plus, if Showcase won’t play in the sandbox with us, we will just have to entertain ourselves.

You know, it isn’t like we haven’t done THAT since October. I mean, really. Us Heughliots are quite a resourceful bunch are we not?

We don’t have to remind you about coming up with #Droughtlander? We will however remind you Diana Gabaldon posted it on her Facebook. Yes. We are still pretty tickled about that. Then we had our perfect little Scottish island we pretended to buy? I am pretty sure there are still people packing their bags for that one. I mean wanting to start a crowd-funding & kick-starter campaign? Seriously. Girlfriends were going a bit craaaaazy for cocoa puffs. Yup…I had to tell ladies that was a wee joke. We have this “keeping ourselves entertained” shit under control.

Sunday nights are our jam in Canada.

That’s OUR JAM!

Nothing like going to church in the morning and then praising all that is holy for those knees, thighs and then all that is Jamie Fraser in the evening. Nope nope nope! Seems to suit our sensibilities it does. We have decided with 8 wks out- It’s warm up time.

We are countin’ ourselves back down to April 5th with some rewatching of the Outlander. Starting with Episode One. We will be doing that on Feb 8 at 8 PM MST. Mountain Standard Time for those I am speaking the gibberish to. And yes, I like adding the the word THE before words because I think it makes words sound fancy. It’s a thing I have. Like “THE google….and THE kilt….and THE fine round arse” Yeah…like that.

This is the way Canada shall play. #OutlanderCAN is our regular watching hashtag so since we are on repeat, replay, rejoice…we will

#OutlanderCANCAN for fun! We would love our fellow Canadian friends to join us for a live tweet & any of our Outlander friends who just love watching this show. You know, those who simply want another reason to inject more of the #cracklander into their veins. We will tweet, discuss, laugh & interact. Hopefully enticing more viewers to this phenomenal show come April 5th. (Or yes, whatever dates it will his your screens)

THAT after all, is what it is all about. HINT HINT NUDGE NUDGE, Showcase.

That wasn’t so hard. Let’s be friends.

See…I can be subtle…like a brick. To a face.

That’s all us Heughliots have been doing- trying to get new viewers, lotsa them. We have been doing a damn good job.

We are a proud people

We could make great partners Showcase! Why don’t you love us? Even #OutlanderStarz follows our awesomeness. You know… we can accomplish more together. There is no “i” in team and all that gobbiligoohoo. What do you say? Wanna sip? It’s super yummy!

For example, we have NO idea if Showcase is heading to The Calgary Expo to promote Outlander but we KNOW we ARE! We are dressing up, we have PROPS! Outlander PROPS even! There are a lot of us and WE ALREADY WILL BE THERE TO SPREAD THE WORD! We have been letting Showcase know via twitter and if their social media department was paying attention you’d think they’d hop on this ride. Free Advertising my friends. THE BEST KIND!

Goodness knows Sony & Starz has ridden this Social Media wave big time. We saw how they grabbed a hold of our #Droughtlander. Smart, smart folk that they are. Eventually, months later, Showcase joined them. Come on Showcase…We are here for you. Waiting.

We are a very patient people

As we have it, we are rallying the troops. First stop. THIS SUNDAY. 8 PM. We will see our Canadian friends…and we know many of our other Outlander friends will be there too. ANY excuse to get together for a little #Cracklander group therapy – they are right there. We so love how you throw out the signal and they come running, tappin the vein, line ready!

The Original meaning of the #Cracklanders…as debuted in the summer of 2014

From all over the world, timers will be set. Hashtags for the ready to follow along. #OutlanderCANCAN can!

Tell us where YOU will be watching from, what your twitter handle is so we can be sure we are following along with you too. Remember the @Heughliots #1 rule of Interwebs happiness is #AAPI and for the record, it makes real life a hell of a lot more solid too!

We do it for every tweet we read.

See you all on the flip side! Or Sunday. Which ever comes first

SL Heughliot @Large

A very Merry UN-Birthday to the Reason Outlander LIVES!

January 6, 2015 by Sherry W.

Jan 11th is a big day in the world of the Outlander fan. Why? Because it was the day the one, the only, Diana Gabaldon was born. Yep, much against popular belief, she wasn’t delivered from angels or brought down by the Gods…she was born…like most of us. Yes, I said most. I am not convinced some of you weren’t hatched or aren’t some sort of pod people. Just saying.

Oh…and if you are offended by that last comment. Hello there, pod person, who was hatched.

I must say I have a really hard time picturing Diana as a baby. In my minds eye, she must always have been speaking in complete sentences…diapers? Pfffft! Not this baby Gabaldon, she was “not” hovering over the potty before she could could say “publish me”. It simply…did…not…happen.

Yes…THIS simply makes much more sense in my brain…**GIGGLES**

For those who have had Diana in our worlds a long time. Like 20 plus years, a long time. She has become a part of our vernacular. People get “Gabaldoned” – Personally I like to say “gabalDON’T do you do it” when they seem to take it upon them self to try to school Diana on how she should or shouldn’t do her work…life or business. As far as I’m concerned, you open yourself for a little verbal ass kickin’ when you do this. By Diana or anyone else on the planet if you are rude enough to play that douche roulette. She becomes a part of our homes & jewelry boxes . We have dragon flies decorating our homes, Claire rings on our fingers, we have JAMMF licence plates, we have paintings of standing stones and taken trips to Scotland, when in many cases, those trips weren’t in our minds until a nurse on the pages of a book travelled there herself.

Today is NOT January the 11th. Today is January the 9th! Us Heughliots don’t follow many rules.

Rule Breakers of the World. Unite.

We know Diana loves Disney. So do many of us (ahem…me…I am turning the rest…so…)

This is a VERY MERRY UNbirthday to Diana!

Let us all sit around for a little cup of tea…well some can have tea…Diana – here is a Diet Coke…

one for you

I’ll grab a shot of something not tea or coke.

one for me…ok…4 for me. Don’t count. That’s rude.

Here is our UNBirthday Message to Diana…perhaps we will be lucky enough for her to see it.

We have all heard & experienced the way she has influenced lives with her books & her words. We get to enjoy the new fans experiencing them for the first time now. We get to watch the world that was created on the page come to life on screen & that too, is THRILLING! It is like the best UNBirthday present ever. She have given us ALL a gift. One that just has kept giving and giving and giving. *whispers to all the ladies* You all see the video of Sam….sweating…running…and sweating….Yeah….thank Diana! Ultimately…NONE of that…NONE…without this woman.

We truly have no way we can thank Diana for ALL of the gifts she has given us. Going back to the very first word she has written, to the last one put to the keyboard that we haven’t had the pleasure of seeing. THERE ARE NO WORDS BIG ENOUGH. NO FONT BOLD ENOUGH…NO ITALIC LICY ENOUGH…to express our gratitude.

We joke all the time about being #Cracklanders with a severe addiction. In truth, Diana was our first supplier. The one that said “Pssst, here…try this…just read a couple pages…you’ll like it.”

Like it we did. Never getting enough but waiting anxiously. Like we said before…we are ok…Kinda

May this UNbirthday be filled with all the joy, love & un-aging that the last 62 have blessed you with Diana!

Much Love, the Heughliots of AB

Sher – Heughliot @Large

FAILANDER! Resolutions gone horribly wrong in the world of Outlander.

December 30, 2014 by Sherry W.

Naturally, us Heughliots can’t let any kind of event pass without throwing in our twisted two cents. Even though we don’t use pennies in Canada anymore. We don’t, we ain’t lyin’…Google that.

Who really makes resolutions that don’t turn into disasters? Yeah…that’s exactly what we thought too. SO, why should our larger-than-life, super awesome characters in Outlander be any different right? RIGHT?

Yeah…let’s get this puck on the ice!

Type as fast as ya think!

Let’s start with everyone’s favourite villain. BJR. Big Jerk Randall.

He thought he would try to be a better person. Thought he could go that extra mile to be a kinder, gentler soul. He thought he could be more personable. My mother *Rest her Soul* used to have a saying. “You thought you farted but you shit yourself.” That is about right for BJR and his resolution. JUST you wait and dig into our next 8 episodes! You will almost wish Droughtlander lasted a little longer when you see some of this stuff!

#GoodGuyFAIL

Claire. Our sweet soberphobic, getting ClaireDrunk, always with the check liver meter…Claire.

Naturally she thought it would be a good idea to lay off the booze. Ha…ha…hahahahaha!

The liquor refill light went on after about 15 minutes. The poor lassie was sank…sunk…drunk.

#EPICOnTheWagonFAIL

You wouldn’t think a witch would want to give up anything would you? However, Geillis was finding herself a bit too dependent on the herbs. She does not get that crazy ass look in her eye for no reason people.

Legal in Canada. Shhhh

C’mon! That lasted about as long as Arthurs next bout of flatulence – she had to use something to clear the air. It was the most potent kind of smoke around.

#BuzzFAIL

Iona McTavish. No she wasn’t a major player in the Outlander world but you all know how important she is to us. This lady resolved to get a new damned dress for the next gathering. How insulting of Mrs.Fitz! Then she realized, SHE still fit into HER dress. HA! She would show them (Read, Mrs.Fitz) and STILL fit into it at the NEXT gathering as well. BEASTLY woman!

#FEKITNotaFAIL

Everyone loves them some good ole Rupert. Rupert is cuddly, soft, bearded, Angus’ best friend and Dougal’s right hand man. He wants to be more independent though. Wants to explore the world of Rupert. Find himself.

That’s Right.

Damned if he ended up under yet another juicy hen though. He doesn’t seem to mind. It is his happy place!

#GetLuckyFAIL

Our Dougal vowed to try and make his way out of Doucheville this year. Hmmmm. We admit, with all the punching out his friends and hitting on his new niece-in-law, he was getting fair comfortable there. The start of his resolution he went on a wee trip out of Doucheville. However, we are afraid he took a wrong turn and ended up in Arseton.

: Look out for holes Dougal!

#DIRECTIONFAIL

The beasts are never safe with Angus around.

They shake in his presence. He decided that enough was enough. He would be sure to stay outta the barns and leave them to their feed. Instead..he ended up too far into his cups one eve and found himself some bigger boots to hold ’em still…

Yes, it must be why zippers were invented. So the wee beasties could hear them comin’…

#OldMacDonaldFAIL EiEiOOOOOOOO

Laoghaire. We aren’t going to play the mean girl card and call her leghair or lo’whore or any of those other mean names people call her…SO rude!

She is just one failed resolution after another failed resolution. Since she was a wee hussy…I mean lassie. She has vowed to get tapped by JAMMF, why should this year be any different? She resolved to do the same. Yet, she asked for help from the wrong herbnerd didn’t she? Ended up with a handful of horseshit.

Yup. She sure has a purdy mouf.

She will keep trying though…stay tuned. Grumble Grumble.

#StinkyFAIL

We have gotten used to Mrs Fitz stealing the screen. Whether it’s greeting the boys when they return home, telling men of the cloth where to put their holy water, insulting great authors, or smacking errant visitors around (dream sequences or no – that shit freaked a lot of people out! It’s funny NOW)

We like Mrs.Fitz who keeps our blood pressure in check

She has obviously resolved to rule with an iron fist. We’d say she has done it – maybe she’ll try an iron pot next.

We do hope you realize that there are a lot of viewers with heart conditions or that are just wound extra tight (View most FB groups, it will take you seconds to spot them)…let’s not do anymore of that crazy stuff again. Stay the hero aye? I’m not sure WHO I’m talking to anymore…either way…that’s a random.

Poor, Poor Jamie. His resolution is all about self preservation. JAMMF is really tired of getting his arse whooped. I mean wouldn’t you be? Go picking hay, run back to the house, get your ass whooped. Go to hall to watch…get your ass whooped. Sit around a fire eating some dinner, get your ass whooped. Go to prison…super get get your ass wholloped.

Don’t you wanna just take him home and make it aaaaall better?

He just wants to stop getting his ass handed to him whenever he turns around. BUT BUT BUTT.…He doesn’t get very far does he, the wee bugger?

Everyone has to wait for Wentworth to see….that’s a

#SuperDooperPooperEpicFAIL

There is the man that it all started with Frank Randall, he is the resolution king! He is firm in his belief he WILL find his wife. She is out there somewhere. He has beat himself up so much this year over her loss. Should he have paid more attention to her? She did, after all, disappear from right under his nose…he sure liked having her under his nose. He looked downtown and he looked uptown…He would not stop looking!

Oh Frank. This is NOT your year buddy. Just saying, and I don’t think things are gonna get much better. For a while. SPOILER. We are supposed to say that first aren’t we? Nuts.

#SEARCHFAIL

Just so you are aware. There is no way I am making any resolutions. I am far too smart for that. I don’t set myself up for failure.

What us Heughliots do…we try our very best to be better people than we were yesterday…and we do that, everyday.

Being Kind is SEXY. Maybe creepy sexy but we don’t mind. RAWR

We think that is the answer to having a better year. See? We aren’t just pretty faces. We are pretty friggen smart too!

What do you all think? Yes…of us being smart. No, ya wankers. Of resolutions or not…

This has been brought to you by us!

SL, Heughliot @Large

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ABOotlanders w/Sherry

Proudly Canadian Outlander FanGroup based in Alberta

Author Archives: Sherry W.

The Devil’s, Mark? I thought his name was Stan!

10 times! You pricked my what with your what?

I reckon The Reckoning was JUST what the doctor ordered. Dr. Jekyll that is

Wow & wow. This episode pulled out all the stops & it seems to have split the fandom- which seems a little nutty to me.

The Reckoning was all I could have hoped for – and even more. It was from Jamie’s POV. BRILLIANT. Well played Mr. Moore n company. WELL PLAYED!

Scaling walls with very iffy ropes! I mean come on Jamie, ya gave that thing a tug…it HARDLY seemed stable but SURE…we’ll go down it and take the chance of rope burning your balls to charred bits.

Blowing up barrels o’ pitch & beating the hell out of redcoats with muskets…and bashing that smug nasty sunnuva whoseit face off the desk. Now that’s entertainment folks!

DUH!

I keep hearing on the interwebs “That didn’t happen in the books.” “They left that out” and sadly it’s usually attached to a tirade of whining.

Forgiven. Well…for that lil transgression anyway. Claire isn’t really prepared for part 2.

The highlanders play “ignore the Sassenach”. Not even looking at her- acknowledging her existence in anyway. Dammit…just when she got in good with them – and ummmm…they did just save her life. Whateves…sigh

Back at Castle Leoch you would think from the reception things would be awesome. Seriously, everyone needs a Mistress Fitzgibbons in their corner…don’t they? What a cheering section!

Have that follow you around all day. Make someone feel like a million guineas. I have to say…Colum really turned out to be a fun sucker though. You want a party pooper? Invite old TwisteyLegs McTwisterson to the festivities. He’ll do it quick like.

Remember, Jamie hasn’t read the books. All I can picture is fans all over the world screaming at poor Jamie…READ THE BOOK! You are supposed to be perfect you regular piece of shit human! snort

If you are going to break a steely girl heart, a good way to do it is pull out your dirk…and swear your loyalty to her.

Making our way to the last dramatic GASP.

It’s a Droughtlander Mirage…Nope…Nope …It’s FREAKIN EPISODE 9! Right there on the horizon!

We have gone through “the change”…

There are some Heart Stones I would like to travel through. 4 yrs please.

Outlander Bedtime Stories – Droughtlanders in the Bedroom

Do the math…we GOT this thing. You are invited – #OutlanderCANCAN

A very Merry UN-Birthday to the Reason Outlander LIVES!

FAILANDER! Resolutions gone horribly wrong in the world of Outlander.

Wow & wow. This episode pulled out all the stops & it seems to have split the fandom- which seems a little nutty to me.

The Reckoning was all I could have hoped for – and even more. It was from Jamie’s POV. BRILLIANT. Well played Mr. Moore n company. WELL PLAYED!

Scaling walls with very iffy ropes! I mean come on Jamie, ya gave that thing a tug…it HARDLY seemed stable but SURE…we’ll go down it and take the chance of rope burning your balls to charred bits.

Blowing up barrels o’ pitch & beating the hell out of redcoats with muskets…and bashing that smug nasty sunnuva whoseit face off the desk. Now that’s entertainment folks!

DUH!

I keep hearing on the interwebs “That didn’t happen in the books.” “They left that out” and sadly it’s usually attached to a tirade of whining.

Forgiven. Well…for that lil transgression anyway. Claire isn’t really prepared for part 2.

The highlanders play “ignore the Sassenach”. Not even looking at her- acknowledging her existence in anyway. Dammit…just when she got in good with them – and ummmm…they did just save her life. Whateves…*sigh*

Back at Castle Leoch you would think from the reception things would be awesome. Seriously, everyone needs a Mistress Fitzgibbons in their corner…don’t they? What a cheering section!

Have that follow you around all day. Make someone feel like a million guineas. I have to say…Colum really turned out to be a fun sucker though. You want a party pooper? Invite old TwisteyLegs McTwisterson to the festivities. He’ll do it quick like.

Remember, Jamie hasn’t read the books. All I can picture is fans all over the world screaming at poor Jamie…READ THE BOOK! You are supposed to be perfect you regular piece of shit human! *snort*

If you are going to break a steely girl heart, a good way to do it is pull out your dirk…and swear your loyalty to her.

Making our way to the last dramatic *GASP*.

The highlanders play “ignore the Sassenach”. Not even looking at her- acknowledging her existence in anyway. Dammit…just when she got in good with them – and ummmm…they did just save her life. Whateves…sigh

Remember, Jamie hasn’t read the books. All I can picture is fans all over the world screaming at poor Jamie…READ THE BOOK! You are supposed to be perfect you regular piece of shit human! snort

Making our way to the last dramatic GASP.