Episode 16 In the Flesh -TRAMS- Tobias Really Ain’t Maiming Sam…really.

Who else is glad that is over? Raise your hand!

Me...me...me too...uh-huh...yup...us!

Me…me…me too…uh-huh…yup…us!

As much as we are not looking forward to #NaughtLander – I was perfectly fine with Episode 16 “To Ransom a Mans Soul” being one hour long, because the one hour felt like WAY longer. It made me feel like a virgin. You know what I mean. It was verra uncomfortable indeed.

“Got my tight pants on!”….Yeah…this is not comfortable for anyone. Really.

As per usual before I get into my blogburst, I like to tap into what I see as a bit o’ silliness that plagues the fandom. I found out recently that the likes of myself – you know the type. We, who enjoy the show for the show & the books for the books. Separately.  We, that do not believe the 2 should be compared nor interwoven specimens…because they are, ummm…not the same things. We are called *drumroll please* Kool-Aid Drinkers. Heehee…Kool-aid. Yeah.  Which makes this even funnier to me is –  those who who use this term may often be offended or dissuade others from using descriptions such as “pearl clutcher”, “poutlander” & any number of other equally insulting terms that will offend someone.  This term is deemed O.K. to use  even though it has a particularly ugly meaning behind it, because it was given its blessing from groups who feel everyone’s opinions matter, except those who think that it’s ok to love something for what it is and those  who express that they don’t believe being negative is a productive way to be & choose to say so. Kool-aid. Wanna sip? Tsk Tsk.

 I don’t particularly “like” Kool-aid but I DO think the Kool-aid man is cool as hell!  I also think if you embrace a term & own it, you take the power away others have given it. Soooooooooooooooo…

koolaid

This is the kinda kool-aid we are serving…come and have a glass! It happens to be sweetened with good intentions.  There is kindness instilled in it.  We only want the fans to see the best in what is happening with the series. It is, in fact separate from the books…this has been said from the VERY beginning. Whether you CHOOSE to hear the facts – well, this only affects our happiness with the process. No one has tried to fool or trick us into believing anything different.  When you lay back and relax…the bumps are way easier to take, you might even be able to enjoy them.

animals-as-humans-frog

We have fallen into the land of #WithoutLander.

#DroughtLander2.0 has started… there is #NaughtLander. As you can see – I can go on all effing day if I wanted to & I likely will come up with many many more before the jig is up in the fall of 2016.  Chances are, you will put up with my crap because, as fans, it is what we do.  We read what we love…AND we read what we hate. It is a CRAZY…oh wait…mentally hilarious phenomenon.  That WILL keep this world alive. Not destroy it like some say.

These blogbursts won’t stop because the series is on hiatus.  Honestly…I will just have to get more creative.

This might be the point you are afraid...

This might be the point – you become… afraid…

and you thought BJR was cuckoo for cocoa puffs. Me…trying to be creative. That might be a whole other bag of nuts folks. Mixed nuts. Big…ole…bag.

You know I am trying to avoid talking about something when I am 500 words in & haven’t started.  This is like having the sex talk with the sons but start talking about how they haven’t cleaned their room in the last week instead. Still ending up focusing on the balled up sock in the corner of the room. Yeah…yeah…yeah…I KNOW. I have to talk about it – but where’s their Dad…Can’t HE?

That’s a good idea actually. Hub’s watched episode 16 with me. Twice. Shockingly. We’ll go at it like that. Since you know I’m a gutterdweller – I shall sit down here but try not to be you know…too gross and or offensive. However, expect a few groans. Just…do.

We get the title credit again. Yeah…gutterslug I am…beads n oil. I know what is happening in this episode – I don’t even wanna know what that other thing is gonna be . Yup…I know I am going to hell – I might as well take the express bus. Move over- I know you are in the back seat, hiding…you wouldn’t be reading this blogburst if you weren’t there.

title

Then…then…drums, flutes, what sounds like recorders. Remember recorders guys? Elementary school…we all had to have recorders? Play 3 blind mice? We were so cool.

*eyeroll* Just like him. Really. 3 blind mice with the squeal at the end killed his Pirates of the Caribbean out of the water. Whatever.

Uh-huh...sure...show off.

Uh-huh…sure…show off.

Those english dudes at the prison, they were pretty in tune but the men at arms, my ex-Army hubby really wanted them to be more practiced. Sloppy, out of line…tsk tsk…just foolin’

I kinda wished we had more time to critique the english soldiers because yeah…we went right on into the deep dark dank dungeon cell of hell and torment which housed our hero Jamie. We immediately get a glimpse at his bloodied body & lifeless eyes. It causes some serious cognitive dissonance when you have that cheery drumming and recorder playing happening in the background & you have Jamie’s face – telling you this story. Then we pan…ugh…

Here's JACKIE!

Here’s JACKIE!

Never a reassuring thing.

Captain CreepMaster General is so supine it’s almost distracts you from the fact that he is completely naked AGAIN. Tobias has zero issues with his Aunt Gail seeing him in the all together. You know, I think he might think to himself “Hope Aunty Gail tunes in! That’d teach her for buying me that hideous sweater back in ’85”

Back to the soldiers & cheery loud tunes – I feel like I am being torn back n forth. Put me outta my misery!

just too much & we just started. This aint right.

just too much & we just started. This aint right.

Wait…was that me or Jamie asking. It was both of us.  CCMG owes him a debt & for a moment, it looks like he is going to pay up but SQUIRREL! Ole Captain hears a noise and curiosity done squishes the cat.

Much to Jamie’s horror. He leaves him in the cell to go check out what’s shaking in the halls. There is some crazy noises happening & he is far too nosey for his own good.

knock knockAnother one of those teachable moments right there. You hear noises you can’t explain. Might be best NOT to look. Dumbass. However, I liked seeing your face get stepped on, I didn’t literally see it, though I imagined it because I despise CCMG and that to me, happy thoughts!

Rupert, Angus & Murtagh…Team RAM (TRAM…Do we see a theme…cool huh?!) Scramble through the basement of the prison looking for Jamie & find him as the kine cause havoc in the halls & throughout the courtyard.  The music via Bear McCreary & the kine seriously did a wicked job of kicking the scene up a knotch here. The kine do NOT have a twitter account…I really am not sure what is going on, seems the crazy is slipping…sad.  Anywhoo…Team RAM played this scene with vigor!  I loved the determination to get Jamie out of there and it was clear to us how OUT OF IT Jamie was.

Seriously, Murtagh is like the scottish Apollo in that moment, Jamie wrapped in the plaid slung over his shoulder & him marching out the door like a boss!

so hot

I loved the wagon ride & escape. The chaos of that was happening at the prison with interchanges of Team RAM escaping with Jamie. Claire waiting in the road…ummmm…hunny…unpause it. Hunny…HUNNY! Sheesh. I think my husband really likes it when Claire wears breeches. Both times we watched, I got a view of this –

cait

Yup, gotta admit it. She’s got a cute bum. The joys of watching with the man of the house – equal opportunity in the admiration department.

Between her distress & impatience, the look on her face…no words are needed.  This woman sucks us straight into her anxiety. I was THISCLOSE to popping an ativan when we spotted Team RAM coming over the crest of the hill.  This was the episode that was like a Led Zeppelin song, a minute seems like a lifetime and you are having Tea for One. I’d look at the clock thinking it has to be almost over…and ummmm…no…52 more minutes left.

what year is it

We get a taste of the mashed potatoes that Jamie’s brains have been whipped into when he see’s Claire AS Black Jack…right there in his face. He wraps his good hand around her sweet delicate neck and squeezes  until Rupert & Murtagh get him off of her. He tells Claire “Dinna touch me”  – One more huge clue – this is not the Jamie we know. His mind has been sliced and diced like it’s been in a chop-o-matic.

He starts in on the Gaelic saying stuff like “Claire- you just morphed into Jackface! That’s wiggin me out!” (Really he said…Let me go die.) Murtagh was like “Hey Bro! Cut that shit out! She has a pretty neck…even if you don’t like it…we do!”  Jamie gets all snippy with him too. You gotta admit, he is probably pretty hangry about now and could use a snickers bar like nobodies business & snaps -in Gaelic- at Murtagh to mind his own damn business clag-tail face! (Really, he said something like “Put an end to my torment!” Which sounds way more logical however- clag-tail face- takes the edge off & sends you all on a google search so…) Murtagh’s had enough of this crap and tells him to shut the hell up, he’s not listening to this crap- they have places to go…people to do. (In fact, he said ” I won’t listen to this!”) Yeah…I was right-ish.

mwb

Back on the run they go with a wee but of chuffin’ from Rupert. That wagon ride must have been hellabouncey!

Same ride in today's vehicle...looks like a party

Same ride in today’s vehicle…looks like a party

We hear the bells of a church yard. We see a familiar face, it’s wee Willie. Good to see him again. He introduces us to Father Anselm. This is a character from the books, that has been adapted for the screen in such a lovely manner. As has the Abbey itself. It really doesn’t matter when it is all broken down.

Truth is they had to condense a ridiculous amount of the book into one hour & the adaptation isn’t really meant to please each book reader it is meant to convey a story to an audience – TRUTH-

Really hard to swallow innit?

Really hard to swallow innit?

Adaptations were made that didn’t  change plot lines but changed “things”. Brother to Father…not in the creepy way though. Anselm was a dream – reacting before she finished sentences & taking them in.

Brother Paul, the respect & dignity he showed Claire – the care he gave Jamie…I quite liked the bald headed lil monks they had poking about. The background players were extremely complimentary to the scenes.  Letting Claire know…dude’s body is in baaaaaad shape sister but his mind… a few french fries short of a happy meal & is gonna need some serious help.  Claire seems to know this but had more pressing matters at hand.

See what I did there?

Jamie’s moans & cries brought her back to the fact that maybe she did need to deal with this broken soul thing. She tries to talk to him, soothe him but nope…none of that. Sometimes we ask questions that we REALLY do not want the answers to but need them. This is what happens here…although Claire didn’t get her answer – WE did.  It was Flashbang #1. Everyone were calling them flashbacks…that’s too light of a word for me. These were far too traumatic & gutpunchy. FlashBANG…much more effective.

Yes I know this

Yes I know this “technically” is not a flashbang but I really love this gif…*snort*

Plus…this next part is icky and we have to talk about it.

We have the leisure of seeing good ole dead Marley. All covered in  *shudder* rats *shudder*.  Those narsty vermin are my kryptonite. Sorry..not sorry…I can not STAND effin rats…rodents..little tails swishing

barf

Too much narsty in one small vile thing….just….ewwww.

Digression. Yeah. Sorry. Jamie is still sitting, nailed to the table where Captain Creepy last left him – he is nearly passed out from pain it seems but has the presence of mind to make sure Claire has left the prison.  This just proves how twisted Captain Creepy is. He is so pleasant with Jamie. ” I give you my word, here, have a drink…let me make you more comfortable while I yank that bloody nail from your hand – it’s going to be a trifle uncomfy. Be over quick…just a pinch. Oh dear…you’ve puked all over the floor…that’s all right, I will cradle you gently in my arms like a young child and kiss you tenderly like a sweetheart I once had.. Know why? ‘Cause I am a nice guy. You can see that right? Nice guy…dingy nasty cell…hole in your hand…forcing my tongue in your mouth. Come on- play along! It’s all better now, we are going to have a lovely time, you only have to be receptive. Here laddie”

It’s moments like these you wish this mofo had the internet. Here…go to http://www.immasickbastardDOTcom and get rid of some of your twistyMctwisterson bullshit and leave poor Jamie outta it man!

Ah if we could only redirect the the  insanity!

Ah if we could only redirect the the insanity!

Ole CreepMaster goes in for a let’s say frenchier kiss & complains at the lack of enthusiasm that his partner is displaying – decides that some threats against Claire are in order.  Jamie makes it clear that he said he wouldn’t “resist”.He is NOT going to “participate”.  Probably not the best plan of action.  CreepMaster now had a point to prove & it was that Jamie, would participate, whether he liked it or not. At least his body would participate.

He lifted him up to a sitting position and showed Jamie…and all of us that – our bodies can have minds of their own. Physical response has little to do with emotional response when it comes to reflex.  I noticed in some of social media out there, a few women had a difficult time grasping this concept. Saying it made men seem weak minded, not in control. Ummmm WHAT THE HELL? Our bodies have reflexes…men & women alike – Let me advise. Men have external organs that are easier to get to. This also goes straight to victim shaming & I won’t play THAT game with anyone.

No  really....go...see ya...buh bye now.

No really….go…see ya…buh bye now.

Bodies can, will & often physically respond to sexual stimulation. CCMG took this as a sign that he was controlling Jamie’s body. Adding some words of graciousness you know “Only want you to like it.”  You could see how much Jamie was trying to fight his bodies response & was getting angry with himself for not being able too. Throwing it back at Creepy, tells him just get it over with already…he hawked a big ole loogie in Creepy’s face. Ya know – maybe not the greatest idea at the time because it really pissed him off.

Captain Creepy is still calm for a microsecond asking “You think I can not control the darkness I inhabit?” like…implying he can…but he completely loses his shit! Guess what you sadistic freakshow – there is NO controlling that darkness.  That darkness just went batshit crazy & Jamie was on the bottom of it. Quite literally.

Creepy proceeds to brutally rape Jamie – telling him to scream – well – that HURT. Physically…it HURT…emotionally it HURT…everything about that moment HURT. “I” screamed at my TV right along with Jamie. DAMN YOU Creepy…you rotten SOB.

I don't look like Stevie boy but I sure as hell sounded like him!

I don’t look like Stevie boy but I sure as hell sounded like him!

That was the portion of our show my hubby hid his face. He really didn’t like it. Nope.

Don't look!

Don’t. Like. This. Part.

FlashBANG over. None too soon either. Geez…Sam…whatever places you had to go…you went.  I have this inkling our Tobias – he has a bit of that steele in his veins. He comes up with some pretty sinister shit with the writers to add in. Fingers in mouths, licking backs, faces. On the Ira/Moore podcast he thought “Hey, let’s use dead Morley as a mattress.” Ummmmm…

That boy...he ain't right.

That boy…he ain’t right.

He goes places. In his head. Which makes his acting…that much more terrifying. I’m really glad Ira was like Ummmm Tobias – Richard really hasn’t done anything to you…rats are one thing dude…THAT…totally another. Let’s not. It doesn’t mean Tobias is freakydeaky…it means he is a thinker, he gets into his characters head & he can go to those places. I think it’s a study of how far can he go…they tell him when “Yeah…far enough.”

Sam, I am guessing, this…is an educated guess, seems an introvert. This exposure, quite literally, must have been exhausting for him. I have heard many words to describe his performance in this episode. Many I wholeheartedly agree with. The ones “I” choose – brave, raw & fascinating.  I know NOW what Diana was talking about when she said she looked forward to this.  As difficult as it is to watch someone you care about go through this…and I CARED…it was enthralling. Encompassing. Why?  Because HE made me CARE. Tobias made me CARE. Cait made me LOVE them together. They did that as ACTORS.

It's like way cooler than all this stuff thrown together in one GIF!
That is like, way cooler than all this stuff thrown together in one GIF!

We so often get all whipped up in the who did it better than – we forget they DO it together. We so often get so wrapped up in our favourites that we dismiss the beauty of how well they work as an ensemble & obviously love one another. (Now keep your heads on. Love means many different things to many different people) They wouldn’t be able to portray this so well without respecting one another.

Ooops I did it again. Sorry. Not Sorry.

Ooops I did it again. Sorry. Not Sorry.

There were words spoken prior to Claire setting Jamie’s hand. That’s it. They were spoken. Jamie was telling Claire – he didn’t care. He was trying to let her know in his way that he was lost from her & she…stubborn as he…wasn’t hearing him. She was focused on healing him. She knew…yes…he was broken. One of these things she KNEW how to fix. She had to deal with first.  I truly adore the way these two play off one another. They are a brilliant balance. They don’t even need the words sometimes. Frig knows…the makeup/prop department sure as hell killed it as far the whole business with fixing up Jamie’s hand went.

That looked pretty...gross...n...gross.
That looked pretty…gross…n…gross.

Sure …things have to look realistic. They did. Graphic even. Bones jutting out, skin being tugged at and sewn together. Hearing the bones scraping together, seeing the blood squishing. There are people who squirm ‘n gag at sights like that. There are folks who “ooooh & ahhhh”. There are even ones that sit on the edge of their seat & examine the scene for inconsistencies because they are in the medical profession. Whichever you are -I think we can agree, they did a friggen sweet job of it.

giphy

The voice over helped me through this scene.  Concentrating on her words made me not want to toss my cookies.  The way she wrapped it in that crazy contraption was SO cool looking. Rigged up & completely not like something ‘perfect’. So it was.  Primitive & barbaric. Like the wounds that were beneath the bandages.

Claire is sent to bed by Brother Paul- he will take care of him. She needs her rest. She leaves the room. Walking through the halls, she starts making some retching noises then goes ahead & pukes. Hubby pipes up & says. “She’s knocked up isn’t she…she’s been puking EVERYWHERE!”

Considering we read Outlander a few months ago for our #Bedtimestories, it’s not a shocker he thinks he is figuring something new out.

GOOD BOY

GOOD BOY

It’s always nice to be watching the show & have wee bits from the book pop in. For someone who does adore the books, it is like finding a $5.00 bill in the pocket of someone’s jeans when you are doing the wash (or so my hubby tells me). This added sweetness is Father Anselm & Claire’s moment in the chapel. It’s familiar yet still different. It is poignant & meaningful.  Claire essentially confesses all to him. Taking the chance that she may very well be sitting next to another Father Bain ~

However, I think she knew his heart from the start.  His kindness was apparent.   Hubcicle & I looked at one another with big ole dumb grins on our faces when he turned to Claire & said “How marvelous…a miracle perhaps” such a different reaction from what she had expected. We know that Claire never particularly found herself to be a woman of faith but in that moment – there was calm. It seemed her reserve was restored. It was an awesome moment and even though the powers that be said it was moved all around in post production. They put it in the perfect spot. It fit just right.

Sure, Jesus is cool...it's just some of his followers give me the heebies *cough* Bain *cough*
Sure, Jesus is cool…some of his followers give me the heebies *cough* Bain *cough*

The next day, Jamie is still refusing to eat & he is running a fever. Claire lets him know even though his hand looks like hamburger, it’s coming along nicely.  He’s none too receptive however. He doesn’t want to be saved. That’s just not nice.  She’s trying…really really trying.

We cut scene to the boys, Angus thinks its just a good idea to get drunk. Being sober sure as flip isn’t going to cure Jamie. Murtagh is confident that Claire can heal Jamie’s wounds but he knows that Jamie isn’t eating – that bothers him. Willie tells a tale of his uncle who did the same after an accident…starved himself he did. Uplifting story Willie. Thanks for sharing. Someone smack him would you?  Thanks Angus. Nice aim!

right in my eye

I do like Willie. A lot. He can be a dumb kid sometimes & they do to dumb kids what I WANT to do to dumb kids. Good cuff upside the head. You know…in a kind way *ahem*

Annnnnnnnyway…One of my favourite scenes in the show is between Murtagh & Jamie.  I can’t understand a bloody word they are saying because non hablez de gaelic. Uh-huh…I’m a canucklehead through and through. Sorry. If you DO want to know the conversation.Turns out, it is as touching & gut wretching as they portray it. Hit up this website. They even spell Gaidhlig with the lil accenty things all fancy n stuff.everythings-so-fancy-on-firefly-with-jewel-staite

You can see the heartbreak on Murtagh’s face. The despair on Jamie’s as well. For about a second I want them to take the cameras off of their faces because it is too painful. THEN the show WENT to the next scene…GAH go back. Please! I would rather them go back to the heartbreak & despair faces…yeah…please.

It is another flashBANG…and a bad one. Jamie dragging himself across the dungeon of dooms cold floor. He is naked in a way that angers us. He is bloodied in various places that make us want to go all mamabear. He is struggling across the stones, vomiting & looking very much – destroyed.

The bastard…aka…oh…I have so many names for him right now, none of them the least bit flattering and some might even burn your retinas when you read them. I am hating on him THAT much. Tobias PLAYED that character so well it made me angry to see his smug, priggish *sigh* whatever. Smug as usual. Wanting to know if Jamie has reached his limit. Geez…I WONDER?  When you start hallucinating “Claire Jack Randall”…you know shit’s done gone sideways and your cheese done fell of your cracker.

not funny
Those 2 faces really shouldn’t melt together like that. Nightmares – daymares – night terrors – day terrors…that’s what THAT face is made of.

Its apparent Jamie keeps reaching for the one thing that gives him solace. Claire. Creep Master doesn’t want him to have any part of it then lights to the realization that- “Hmmm this Claire thing can really mess with the boy.”  To watch Claire’s image fade from Jamie’s grasp & him curl up in a naked ball & cry like a babe was simply heartbreaking. How’d we all manage not curl up with him?  I wanted to spoon him. But…he was pretty grimy.  I have standards. *kidding* I don’t.

CCMG played the Claire Card…wanted Jamie’s surrender. “Are you mine?” Jamie – confused, broken & out of his head- heard Creepy but saw Claire. “Yes, only you.” Jamie said in his addled state.  The sadistic dick at this point didn’t care HOW he got Jamie’s surrender- he just wanted it. He didn’t care Jamie was out of his head delusional, he wanted him complacent – that was how he got him.

There is no better term for it than mindbuggery. (I don’t believe the term existed before now, I am pretty sure I made it up- well inadvertently Diana made it up – I just named what he did to Jamie.) Captain Creepy took a walk to his bag of tricks hanging in the room & pulled out his seal…heated in the huge lantern to a red hot brand & sauntered…yeah…the twisted frito chip sauntered over to Jamie & pointed to a place on his chest. Casually telling him to show him that he was Jamie’s. Mindbuggery folks.

mindfuckery

Jamie had a moment…a small moment where there was defiance. The brand did not make it to the spot on his chest where Captain Creepy intended it to go. Jamie did brand himself. However the brand was on his ribs. The look on CCMG’s face was something like…well…that wasn’t exactly what I wanted but it’ll do.

Every. Single.Time. Post production did a brilliant job of taking us out of that cell. Jamie was laying weak & wasted  in that sonofablankityblanks arms, with me wishing I could reach through the screen and tear him from his grasp when they put him back in the bed of the Abbey, rubbing his brand.

ouch-kiss-it-better-1

Oh how I wish things were this simple for our Jamie *sigh*

 I just wanna reach through that big ole screen and kiss his booboo better…the brand one, the other…well. No.

The group gathers as Willie rides up after doing some recon. Redcoats are going to get closer & they know they have to get Jamie out of there. They also know he isn’t getting better, if they wait much longer…well…monks don’t make good warriors do they?

giphy (1)

They do the geography. France. That is the safest place for them right now.  Murtagh makes a point of stating he will secure a ship. Always durable. Always reliable. Murtagh.

Willie’s up next. Oh…sorry…that sounded naughty. O.k. maybe it only sounded naughty to us pervyMcperversons.  I expect by now the majority of those reading this particular burst…ah…are.  Annnnywhoo…Willie, concerned for Jamie & wanting to see if he can help checks up on him. He isn’t a stupid kid like some of the men treat him.  He sees the value of the relationship between Jamie & Claire. He tries to get Jamie to see it again. Granted he isn’t fully aware of the torment Jamie has suffered.  Still he asks what he can do.  Jamie, seeing the blade Willie carries, asks for it. So he can end things…once and for all.

I heard of a huge outcry from fans about this particular scene. Saying Jamie would NEVER kill himself. Ummmm hey folks…what do you think he was trying to do in the book when he wasn’t eating & pushing everyone away…same thing…different means. Yup.  Again, Jamie was in a different frame of consciousness – not the Jamie we know & love. Not the Jamie he had grown into. It was “this” experience that helped him become the man that would never do that. Maybe? Perhaps?

Things that make ya go hmmmmmmmm

Things that make ya go hmmmmmmmm

 Of course Willie tells him to get bent, leaves & tattles on him to Claire.  SHE then goes straight to Murtagh…who is her Dear Abby. First Murtagh is happily telling her he has booked passage on a ship but he quickly reads her face & trails off .She tells him of Jamie wanting Willie to kill him & grasps from Murtagh’s look that he knew about Jamie’s state of mind.  Claire knew too…we all know that but she was sailing down the river denial.

Claire sure as hell doesn’t think being tortured & raped is enough reason to want to die…hell…look at all the crap SHE has been through & SHE keeps keeping on.  Okey Dokey says Murtagh but if Jamie falls so far down a hole we can’t get him out…I’m not going to watch him suffer…I will take him out! That would be kinda like pulling the plug in today’s view I’d say.

This is when Claire…faints…dead away. Big fat hairy hint to everyone.

In the next scene she comes to with Brother Paul caressing her neck & Murtagh feebly tapping his hand on his dirk & being very anxious. Here- I vere off –   I LOVE what Duncan Lacroix has done with this character.  He has completely given life to him that I never expected. I adored Murtagh in the books,but because I connect to introverted & awkward folks. It is like Duncan grasped onto that & not only gave Murtagh this…dimension of being…but gave him an added bit of personality that makes you smile, just seeing him. Man…he made me laugh out loud when he said “Scairt the piss right outta me.” He had the decency to look abashed because the monk was in the room with them. Which gave us a breather. We needed it!  Murtagh has become a steady – not just for Claire but for the audience.thank you

Murtagh calls it like it is.  Jamie can’t be pulled from the darkness that is eating him up unless someone goes into that darkness after him.  It’s quite simple really.  You see Claire think about this & this woman -who has faced down evil priests, witch hunters, scorned teenage girls (those are SCARY), sadistic freaks of nature,  english deserters with rape in mind…yeah…she knows she can handle going into the dark reaches of the mind of the man she loves more than life itself. She has this covered.

Claire starts the prep work. First on the list… girlfriend is making some lavender oil. She means business. Take no prisoners, she is getting her man back.

She goes into Jamie’s room & he is already having bad dreams, she puts the oil under his nose. He hears Captain Creepy’s voice & sees his sick smiling face looming over his bed at him. When Claire speaks again, it is her face there…mocking him & this sets Jamie into confusion. He tells her to leave him be- she’s all “Yeah right…tried that…look where it has gotten us. I’m trying something else.” The more she pushes Jamie…the more Captain Creepy’s mindbuggery pushes forward. Jamie can’t help but see HIS face like he was seeing CLAIRE’S in the cell.  Jamie snaps, he throws Claire to the ground but due to the fact she is ready…girlfriend gives his a swift kick and a few good smacks. Jamie is pretty weak – you know…when you don’t eat or take care of yourself, you get on the flimsy side. He manages to get her on the floor telling her he doesn’t want to hurt her. Yeah…think about that will you. You ARE hurting her A LOT! You want to kill yourself AND you won’t tell her why! That buddy…that hurts a whole helluvalot more than throwing a girl around a room. In the struggle she tears at his…ummm…I’m not even sure what to call what he is wearing. It’s not really a nighty or ever a strip of cloth. It effectively covered all his man bits. Manbit loinwear? Anyway. She tore at it…and saw the JR branding.

What? What's that?
What? What’s that?

She think she KNOWS he was branded. Tries to tell him that it’s alright but he tells her nope.Not alright.  HE is the one that branded himself. That means it goes way deeper. It’s time Jamie told her the truth. Claire didn’t WANT to hear the words but knew he NEEDED to say them…to free himself of them.

It’s true you know – if we let things go in that way. It can free us of an inner torture. Give our pain away to someone who doesn’t “feel” it the way we do.

lifelesson

Toger Brings you LIFE LESSONS

He tells her that the sick & twisted pretzel brain didn’t just use force on him…he made love to him. It was an admission you could tell he never wanted to share with her. Frankly – what man WOULD want to?

This is something that hasn’t changed in centuries with male victims of sexual violence & assault.  I worked with victim services for many many years. Male victims are out there. Male victims are much quieter & there is a huge stigma attached to “being” a victim. Survivors of assault & rape rarely come forward. There are so many complex reasons. More than any one person could begin to explain. Shame is only one of the reasons. Victim shaming is abhorrent and I am a shame the shamer kinda gal.

hang-thine-head-in-shame

Jamie takes another trip down flashBANG lane.  This is the one that many people had a problem with.  This is the one some claimed wasn’t in the book.   It’s all about how we “read” & “percieve”.

Jamie is clearly out of it. He wakes momentarily to see his tormentor getting washed up. Thanks pal. Mighty kind of you to be conscious of your physical hygiene since your mind is a dirty as a toilet seat in a 1 star hotel. *eyeroll*

Captain Creepy wakes our Jamie with some of that stank in a bottle.  He starts another round of his mindbuggery. He brings Claire to Jamie’s mind – speaking of her hands as he brings his over Jamie’s body with oil. With the delusion & unimaginable pain he has been in – the escape of the words “Think of your wife.” brought a resounding “YEAH! Think of CLAIRE…get the hell out of that room!” from even my husband.  After all – Jamie thought he was supposed to die shortly – if he FOUGHT this process – he surely would have suffered greater pain – YEP…this was not a scene that was “enjoyable” to watch. It certainly was not “comfortable”. However…it had a purpose.  Captain Creepy USED Jamie’s LOVE for Claire. He USED Jamie’s NEED for Claire and his NEED for comfort to get what he WANTED. The mindbuggery goes into full on buggery & he breaks Jamie completely. He gets our Jamie to surrender completely. The rotten sonofawhoseawhatyawannacallhim got exactly what he wanted.

OMG That makes me SO angry!
OMG That makes me SO angry! 

Jamie…breaks…he realizes exactly what just went down. The release was inevitable. He faces the fact that at the hands of this monster he gave over everything. He cries like a child & Captain Creepy has the nuts to say “I understand, she will never forgive you.”  Ummmmm really? This guy is more twisted than a balloon animal.

That’s finally over & we are back on the floor of the Abbey with Jamie & Claire.  He tells her straight up – he was glad not to feel pain for a bit in that moment. She needed to let him know that whatever he was thinking he had to know that there was nothing to forgive.  He was sure he was “less” to her because of it – because he was broken by him.  That quite pissed her off.  The words she speaks, she speaks with heart & vehemence. Jamie- throws them back at her.

He weakly gets back onto the bed. Tells her, he is disgusted with himself. THAT…that right there makes Claire go into I’M your wife mode.  She forces him to SEE HIMSELF as SHE sees him.  She forces him into the position she has been in.  Take yourself from ME will you? Then fine.  I go too.

You know…often we only need to see ourselves as others see us to get a fresh perspective. Sitting staring through our own self pity…looking down at ourselves, it so much different than when someone physically holds a mirror up and says HERE! THIS IS WHAT I SEE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL. POWERFUL. REMARKABLE & I LOVE IT BECAUSE…

lifelesson

Moving on quickly to cutting that JR brand out. Big hunka charred flesh scooped  & flung into the fire quick as may be.  Quite a few loogey’s hawked in this episode. The last one sizzled on the fire with the man meat of Jamie’s rib. Yet another scar to add to his collection. Seriously Jamie, you are like a good ole fashion TIMEX

post-8194-0-36118000-1426349325

Takes a lickin alright…

To the shores for our goodbyes with the men. Rupert & Angus are always good for a laugh with their banter. Of course, this is the last time for a while.  Angus had to leave us with something memorable. A handful of fans were not impressed by his behaviour- uncalled for & the like…we might want to remember he’s often used for comic relief & to take our minds off things of a serious nature.  The series isn’t going to last forever folks, let’s not take everything so seriously – especially the likes of Angus aye?

angus
Yes this is the face we are to take seriously…

I must say, I do find Jamie looks quite appealing in his tricorn hat. Wait.I’d find Jamie appealing shaved bald with a polka dotted beanie. Never mind. My observations are futile.

The way Willie stood on the shore…staring out at them as they sailed away gave me pause. Made me believe – we could be seeing young Willie sooner than later.

Maybe we do...yeah...that'd be cool. Willie in France!
Maybe we do…yeah…that’d be cool. Willie in France! I’m just making guesses not starting rumours. It’s only a rumour if you repeat it.

On the ship, Jamie is trying to get his sea legs, which is hard because he isn’t very sea worthy.  Claire too…green around the gills it seems. They chat about how both are Pukey McPukersons – then Claire & Jamie start talking about their future in France. What they will be doing? Where they will go? The rising…if they can stop it.  I keep on looking at Jamie’s hand. Damn that’s dark.  Bruised and nasty. Keep talking though guys, I hear you.  Claire wants to stop Culloden from happening. She all but convinces Jamie they can change the future if they try.

Shhhhh....we aren't going to talk about THAT!

Shhhhh….we aren’t going to talk about THAT!

But now…she has something else to tell him. SOMETHING ELSE? You wanna change the future. That’s a lot right there sister. Now what?   You wanna fly to the moon? You wanna set Murtagh up with the chambermaid?

Claire tells Jamie she has a little bundle of Fraser baking in her bunnery! OH GOODY! Yeah, all of us book readers knew…know…but they have been playing with the adaption so we can never be 100% sure what they are going to do with things.  This was a great way to play it. Jamie’s face was blank…WTF?! How’d that happen-ness! Sure, he “knows” HOW it happens but as far as he was aware, Claire wasn’t able to have babies.  She isn’t wrong often but this time. YUP! Wrong! Jamie hit the baby making button.

Can't wait till he learns about these lil fellas!
Can’t wait till he learns about these lil fellas!We will get there! I know we will! YOU GOTTA HAVE FAITH!

It’s hard to judge by his face if he is happy because he looks so confused. He uttered a little gaelic…could have been interpreted as “holy shit”. Read the scots blog I posted earlier and they tell you what he said there too.  She simply asks him if he is happy. The gap between his thoughts & his heart collide.  He never thought he would be happy again. But he is. VERRA VERRA HAPPY INDEED! They embrace with such enthusiasm I wanted to jump into it! In fact, they drew Murtagh to them…the smile on his face…well damnit.

won't cry...won't.....WAAAAHH

Won’t cry…Won’t…..WAAAAHH

They leave us with the most gorgeous view of our couple standing on the deck of the ship together. Staring out into their future. Jamie looking down to his wife & growing child. The ship turning…headed to- well- France right?

We have entered the land of #NaughtLander.

Look how beautiful it can be though.  Don't let it get you down.  ENJOY IT.

Look how beautiful it can be though. Don’t let it get you down. ENJOY IT.

GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT!

 Do not despair. There is so much for fans to do.

We promise to be here for you. Whether you like it or not. I will continue to provide my own personal brand of edutainment.  This fandom is FULL of talent.  I am gonna be throwing a bunch of it at you. Check out our twitter @ABOotlanders .  This is where we LIVETWEET with each episode. As we watch on Showcase. We furiously tweet. In fact our magic tweeters started the #OutlanderCAN. Which I will brag @ABOotlanders got to trend during episodes 8 and 16.  Canadians don’t brag but we toot our own tooters when tooting is justified. It takes a team of us @tlmfarmgirl is my TwitterTrending Posse…xo

We love to share the love.  Not, like STD share but you know…the other share.

See...clean... *eyelash flutter*

See…clean share…not dirty… *eyelash flutter*

That wasn’t so bad.  I know it took me a while to get to Episode 16. No…it wasn’t because I was scairt either.  It was because…get ready…I have this thing that gets in the way sometimes. It is called a life. UGH! I know right. RUDE!

Plus I love to hear from you. Comment – blab- chat away. I will answer.

SL/Sher or Hey You…the ABOotiest of ABOotlanders

Searchin for my Watch! Och! That’s backwards. Ep. 13 & 14 Two-fer!

I have been in Mexico, enjoying guacamole outta a bag. Really…resort…why’d you do that? Still, I was having a fabulous over a week away from reality…however… this means I missed not just ONE episode of Outlander but I missed TWO!

2

How’d I survive??? Oh wait…I was here.

Doing stuff like this...
Doing stuff like this…

I have my ways. I did watch them both. THANK GAWD!  However, my husband might have reconsidered his view on smackin’ me around if I would have hauled out my laptop during our romantic getaway to write these lil blog bursts for ya. To save my marriage & my ass,  I saved them till I got home & am doing a two-fer.  2 episodes for the price of one.

119_crazycat_cat_gifs
Lets do this thing…

You may get cliff notes or you may get the longest effin blogburst known to man. I have no clue…I’m just typing here. If you are a betting person, go for the latter. 

“The Watch” was a fanfreakingtastical episode! I loved it because it was a tale of two stories woven together and it didn’t confuse me. Which is a huge selling point cuz…well….pretty day.

We start off with Jamie looking down the barrel of some dudes…yeah…pistol…and he has a big’un! They share barbs and suddenly you think “Geez Jamie, isn’t it usually Claire that has the flappin gums?”  When they came to Lallybroch, they switched brains. First, he gets all #ClaireDrunk next #ClaireLippy. Thank all that is holy – Jamie…is SAVED by his big sister!

here I come

Turns out she knows these guys, The Watch. Not Rolex or even Timex, these guys are dang Casio’s.

Jenny doesn’t just know them a lil, she knows them a lot.  We learn that Always HaoppyIan even thinks of the leader in high regard. Why? Cuz he reminds him of Jamie.  Ain’t that sweet?  The Watch is both bad & good. They take money from folks to protect them from meaner folks than them.  They are the underground gang of the Scottish Highlands & they have the Frasers/Murray’s back!  Although Jenny doesn’t trust them enough to say outright “Hey dudes, this is my outlawing bro…you could get a good chunk of change for turning his ass over.” (To the the English…oh and I suppose to Captain Creep Master General- that’s splitting hairs)

They make intro’s “Here’s cousin Jamie, wandering in after years with his English bride- but we don’t mind her. Much.”

MeOw

MeOw

The look on Jamie’s face during AHIan’s exchange of pleasantries with Taran MacQuarrie, Leader of the Watch made ya wanna snort out loud. Both shock & jealousy. “He’s MY BFF! not yours!” “What are ya doing touching HIS sword Ian…that so ain’t right dude!” 

Sad sulking batman...Ahem...Jamie

Sad sulking batman…Ahem…Jamie

Jamie is NOT a happy camper when he finds out about this lil arrangement because now he has to play goofy Cousin Jamie MacTavish & everyone knows he bites his toenails. Weird kid.

Jenny & AlwaysHappy Ian put the breaks on Jamie’s temper tantrum and tell him…play along…or DIE! Stupid – remember the price on your big fat red heid. This is the Watch – they go where the quid is and right now, that’s your hied!

Jamie gets all “I NEVER WOULDA”  *sigh*  Guess ya shouldn’t have taken off for 4 yrs then huh?  Shit had to get done.

Claire agrees. Don’t be stupid…stupid! I think she said it nicer though – but the same effect was had because he knew – his responsibility was to his family. His wife, sister, bro n bairns – born & not yet born.  All that I learned from…this here face.

jamie
It’s the OK I GET IT…I’ll shut the hell up face. It won’t be easy but I will do it for the sake of my family.

 They have one of the most awkward dinners with the unmannered lot, like ever. Jamie trying not to be Lairdy (that’s a word right?) & Claire looking down at the nose picker in the crew. There is always one booger roller! I don’t know where they found that guy…trolls r us? How many bridges were searched under? *sigh* I know I know..ACTING! Only Acting. Gave me the willies! Plus…how can you possibly trust a guy with no top lip!?

Where the hell did his lip go? I mean really???

Where the hell did his lip go? I mean really???

 I had a hard time NOT liking Taran. Makes me feel dirty, and not in a good way either. He is a perceptive one, that Taran MacQuarrie. His name sounds like McCoy to my ear…is that a mistake? I dinna think so.

They cover various topics during dinner, how Jenny hides the good food & expensive tobacco when they come. Who wouldn’t? Bastards would eat & smoke it all…in that order one would hope – some do seem more civilized than others. Name sounds like McCoy tries to get some info out of Jamie when Claire offers up he fought in France with AHIan. That stirs his interest, if they were soooo close-  why oh why – hadn’t his buddy ole pal talked about this big redheadedsummuvvabitch before? Things that make ya go hmmmmm.

 The Watch divulges they have a plan in the works and more men arriving – I think Taran kinda likes Jamie…oh…who doesn’t? EVERYONE LOVES JAMIE!

raymond

It could be an 18th century spinoff

A horsie needs tending & of course…DUN DUN DUN NA! Jamie to the rescue…he is the best damn shoer across the land. Jamie’s his name…shoin’s his game.  He’ll get that horse fixed right up.  Anything to get them dingleberries off his land. Dinner ends with Claire giving the evil “get yer boots off the table” look to Mctrollnomanners.

Mary Poppins effin says so!

Mary Poppins effin says so!

The next morning, trollbait found AHIan’s good tabbacky and was smoking it like he didn’t care.  I am pretty sure this guy was born in a barn – with no walls. Jamie pulled the shame card and trollfeatures decided to do what ANY 2 yr old with a tendency for pyromania would do. He set a big damn cart of hay on fire. WHATAPRICK!

shits on fire

So Jamie…of course…jack of all trades. Goes from being a laird, to a farrier to an ever lovin fireman in oh 2.3 seconds flat!firefighter

He puts out a fire, starts shaming troll features when the little fart face pulls a pistol on him. That’s ok, Jamie has ummmm…a HORSESHOE! He then proceeds to beat the crap outta 4  of them. Somehow ends up with the knife & pistol but ditches the horseshoe…I am sure a horse’ll need it more than him. Jamie Fraser just goes all Chuck Norris on their asses.  Teran watches Jamie…not at all bothered that he is bringing down his men one by one but impressed as all hell. Who wouldn’t be? As a side note…Who else loves the Yellin Fraser of Fightin Town? ARGH! GARGH! AH! GER! Very enjoyable indeed.

Taran tells his gang of douchbags to stand down…more like keep laying on the ground where their asses got tossed. He apologizes to Jamie & tells him he wants him to be a warrior for them.  Oh but our Jamie…he’s a lover not a fighter. Not that we have seen that part of him lately but all we have to do is close our eyes for a moment….remember…lover Jamie”  Yeah…then the grunting again. Shhhh…don’t judge.

lovernotafighter

Dammit as soon as he says he is settled down we have a visitor….HORROCKS!  You know the name. You can’t help saying it like you have a big gob of something stuck in the back of your throat that you gotta get out.

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. Yeah. Ummmm SHIT.  He pretends not to know Jamie. Jamie pretends not to know him but Taran…he ain’t no dummy.

For some stupid reason, the Watch is listening to Horrocks about a raid. *eyeroll* Ok…maybe he is a little bit of a dummy.

Jes a lil...smidge

Jes a lil…smidge

We have some bonding moments with Jenny & Claire. This episode has many of them. We start with them doing the laundry, chatting about the men- giving that all powerful line about AHIan guarding his chiefs weaker side-  when Jenny goes into labour.  Claire…now guarding Jenny’s. LOVED this!

Jenny’s baby is breech- all turned the wrong way so this is going to be a long go. This is time for Jenny & Claire to bond. Talk about Claire not being a mother yet, how that can happen by taking some of Grannie McNabb concoctions etc. Claire thinks AHIan should know about the babe being backwards but nope…Jenny will have none of it. Business as usual. Baby is coming and don’t you dare say anything else! YES’M! 

Time for Jamie to confront the SlimeyIrish, who just happens to be rifling through things that don’t belong to him. Nosey bugger. The scottish humidity sure has done nothing for buddies hair…he looks like a he got a bad perm…poof!  So we learn what Phlemsounds wants…he wants the monies! To travel to the colonies & adventures and to get his hair straightened. No one could expect to travel lookin like that could they?

humid

One of the most BEAUTIFULLY shot scenes in the whole show was the next one between Claire & Jenny.  First I laughed when Claire asked Jenny to tell her what it was like being pregnant –

dafuck

dafuck

Then, I was mesmerized with the both the visual shots & dialogue.  I read the book to my hubby, in which that passage made him snort. When Jenny said it he looked at me and said “Well there ya go then! For the record…I wanna go back in YOU…not MY MOM.” Point taken hun…and thanks for clarifying.didthat

 The beauty of the imagery takes the words and makes them her own. They don’t have to be how YOU feel about pregnancy…you feel Jenny’s connection to her body & to her men & that is something visceral.

Most.Gorgeous.Shot.Like.Ever...Ever.
Most.Gorgeous.Shot.Like.Ever…Ever.

So…no midwife coming to town. Nice! It’s going to be the Dr.Claire show! This is on you sister.  She lets Jenny know breech births are possible…only have to reach up inside and pull it out. THAT’S ALL! No BIGGY…I have small fingers.

Jenny says not without me pounding back some scotch first…Claire tells her baby will be drunk too…HA…then baby will come into the world a true scot. NICE! *snort* I love Jenny…if I haven’t made that perfectly apparent by now.

It’s time for AlwaysHappyIan to give Jamie a reality check of his own.  They are cleaning up after the fire…Now Jamie is playing janitor. Man of many trades. Ian tells him he’s has a ram up his arse or something to that effect.  Jamie is told he has 2 cheeks for a reason…turn one.  I say he has 4 cheeks…turn one and show 2! Come on, we are going through Jamie bum withdrawls. I can’t be the only one thinking it.  Jamie get’s his kilt in a wedgie because his BFF actually LIKES MacQuarrie! Come on Jamie…AlwayHappyIan, likes everyone that treats him like a MAN with something to offer…don’t be so damn selfish! Oh…and then there is this little part. Taran reminds AHIan…of…dun dun dun…YOU! Seriously Jamie – he protects your family from the redcoats. Pay one devil to keep the other away isn’t such a bad deal when you haven’t a decent bargain to make.

We can now consider Jamie’s head removed from his fine ass. Good ole AHIan. Gotta love ‘im and ya gotta trust ‘im.  Jamie tells him about Phlegminyourthroat bribing him.  AHIan says Jamie has money from being Laird he must use – he really doesn’t want to though. He can be a persistent bugger though.

The next scene is cut to one where you might as well just put your heart on the floor & step on it. Caitriona Balfe won’t say a whole lot but her face does and when it does…STOMP STOMP STOMP all over your wee heart she does her heart break dance. Seriously woman…where ever you learned to do that…it just ain’t right.

claire 1

Jamie tells her of AHIans suggestion of giving the monies over to the greasyIrishman but saying that money was meant for their children, to build & keep Lallybroch. Claire’s face…shatters – along with our hearts.

She tells Jamie she doesn’t think she can have his babies and her face does the dance of breaking our hearts…his face crackles but only for a quickie so she doesn’t notice. When he mentions “Franks” name I think its about as cold I have ever heard his voice get – like a cold wind blowing through the door.

Claire didn’t count on loving him or having his babies…this is tearing her guts out and in turn ours. He swoops in to save the day. AGAIN. Saying it probably is for the best as he can bear his own pain but he could not bear her pain *sigh*

drowning

These constant drownings keep up I might need to watch this show wearing a lifejacket

Off to meet to villain who is having the bad hair day…good thing he is wearing a hat.  Jamie tries to pay him off but the dumb shit wont stop yammering. He tries to extort MORE from him. Big mistake irish…yap yap yap telling my life story yap yap yap you should raise taxes & be tougher yap yap yap… Imma threaten your family…ummm is something pokin me… STAB! AlwaysHappyIan turned into GetHimFromBehindIan.

Created by ABOtlander Sherri Gamblin

Dude totally deserved it. Jamie & Ian back together again. He’s a lil shaky about things though. Couldn’t put his sword in the hole. Bet he doesn’t have that problem with Jenny.

Jamie tries to calm Ian down with a “Remember when we were kids” chat at we talked about going to hell. That was fun right? Jamie you can’t go to hell alone…Ian has to make sure you don’t muck that up too.

Jenny is having a hell of a day. That little Fraser is a stubborn poke. She is at the point now where she thinks “Yup…gonna die. This wee bugger is gonna kill me”  Do the stuff I was supposed to do. Grab that wooden snake I found that Willie made for Jamie, give it to him for me Claire… cuz I’m gonna die like my mom did! It’s all down here from here.

The men wait downstairs & make rude comments, if AHIan coulda kicked him, I think he would have.  Taran made nice and paid for the hay they burned…also mentioned Horrocks…dundundun! He know’s somethings up so the next morning, he does a little math

Created by ABOotlander Sherri Gamblin

The New Alberta Math…hard for the big people. Ask Wee Jamie – he will understand

This is the new math that is easy for kids but all us adults are screwin up. Answer is simple…ya killed him!  Jamie sets him straight.

Lemme eat my bread like no big deal and tell you the tale – Price on my head – bad hair knew – put a knife in him. 

yes...I know....sliced bread...shhh..it's a wee joke

yes…I know….sliced bread…shhh

GOOD! He says. That hair was making me crazy…was gonna cut it myself. Now you you have to go in his place on our little raid that the person NO ONE trusted arranged. HOW DOES NO ONE SEE THIS IS A BAD IDEA??? Oh right…TV. 

Jamie & Claire’s goodbye is…tender & full of love. She gives him Sawny the snake…not the other way around for a change.  You can see the emotion pass over Jamie’s face.  Claire threatens if he doesn’t come back she will drag him back by his thick red curls…yeah…sunnuva!  They had to go and slow mo that walk away didn’t they??? DIDN’T THEY??? ARGH! They did that to us once before…remember?  Not cool.

internally screaming

Taran n Jamie have a man to man chat in the rain on the way to the raid. Jamie sees Taran for what he is – he sees himself as a free man – more or less, more of a robin hood than an evil henchman. It is all about perspective. Being ruled or ruling. He invites Jamie into their ranks but Jamie having Claire – he sees no choice but to say no, even though he sees why one would want to. Especially being on the run. Taran surprises us all when swears he wouldn’t turn him over to the British…he might shoot him first but nope… but wouldn’t turn him over.

Yes! Wait..what?

Yes! Wait..what?

Jenny is in the midst of damn you’s, gonna dies & cursing & screaming….its close & girlfriend is really doing the birthing scene justice as the men ride into where the ambush is supposed to be….you can see the thoughts crossing Jamie’s face….perfect spot for an…ambush…FUCK!  You can’t get out of here….RUN! Too Late! TOO…DAMNED…LATE!

REDCOATS everywhere. Firing on them. Sunnuvahorrocks!

emor

A wee lass was born. Maggie… Proof that Jenny is NOT always right, but let’s not rub that in too much. She probably is hormonal. Jenny gives Claire the tusk bracelets her mother Ellen was given by an admirer. Tall & queenly she calls Claire. Another compliment.  I love this moment between them. Claire gives her a kiss, some say it made Jenny uncomfortable, I think it make Jenny’s heart light up. A sister. Their moment.

3 days have gone by at Lallybroch and no word of the men…until the Lallybroch alarm goes off – hounds!

AHIan comes hobbling against another…arm in a sling and lookin beat to hell.He lost his horse, his leg & no doubt some pride but at least he brought home news of his bro. Naturally Jamie wouldn’t leave a wounded man behind. Taran got hurt and Jamie being Jamie…*sigh*… the Redcoats got him. AGAIN!

For reals...they have him...AGAIN.

For reals…they have him…AGAIN.

Without a break we are going straight into searching for the redheaded bugger! This is what I call a 2-fer – The Search

Now, I always enjoy the opening sequences in the show…but this marionette show was by far my FAVOURITE!  I mean really?  The fearies? The Stones? Claire….then POOF…she is gone. COME ON….Brilliance…beautiful. It gets us set up for the whimsy that is introduced in this episode and believe me – with for what is to come in future episodes…WE NEED THIS!

The episode starts straight into the heart of Lallybroch where all hell is breaking loose. Claire is getting ready to go find Jamie, AHIan thinks he is going to go…uh-huh sure… Claire being Captain Obvious points out Dude…you have no leg. He thinks she needs men to go and she is like “Nu-uh! No men! Just me! Draw me a map and make yourself useful”  Jenny is running around looking pretty purposeful but no one is taking notice of her. Girlfriend is on a mission!

Claire is all horsed up & ready to go and out comes 2 pistol packin Jenny, all raring to go. No arguments, she is coming…she can track…Claire can’t, she will shut her damn pie hole. Jenny has not only the spirit of iron…she also has the vulva of iron as well! DAMN GIRL! You just had yourself a baby now your hoppin on a horse.  Jenny continues to impress me. IronginaJenny! You GO GIRL!

Jenny Murray is so hard core she makes my vulva hurt just thinking about what she's done!

Jenny Murray is so hard core she makes my vulva hurt just thinking about what she’s done!

She shakes Claire out of her internal dialogue and they set off on their way like Cagney & Lacey through the wilds of Scotland to track down Jamie.

They do some more advertising for Tour Scotland. It is not possible to do those scenic shots and NOT want to visit. Jenny shows her prowess as a tracker, fingers in horse tracks, watching smoke, pickin up poop…this girl is GOOD. She finds where the ambush happened pretty quickly. Crows pecking out the eyes of the dead…that’s always appetizing. Lunch anyone?

nom-nom-o

Mmmmm….Eyeballs….tastytreats!

IronginaJenny says a prayer over the dead men and then does a quick recce of the area. She figures out where they are headed, that they have a big heavy cart – Claire fills in “hopefully its heavy cuz of the large red headed scot weighing it down” HURMPH!

These two alone tracking, the music…reminded me of the Littlest Hobo only way better.

I mean really…It just wouldnt go away 

Get’s me *sniff*  Every time *sniff*

Now…ladies & gentlemen…at this point in time I will be talking about the FULL episode. Not the accidently aired edited version that caused such a strammach in Canada on Sunday.  You might have heard.  Canada has 2 versions of Outlander.  One that is aired before 9 pm EST with all “adult content” censored out. This includes varying degrees of nudity, violence, choice language etc. Then we have the one aired after 9 pm EST…nothing cut.  It turns out – this past Sunday there was an error made and the daytime edit was played and hell was born down on Showcase.  You see, Sunday was also Mother’s Day so, for all the times breasts had been shown in all their sexual glory, the one time in the show they were being shown in their functional motherly glory…dun dun dun…censored. There is a WHOLE damn blog I could write about that, but I won’t because well, I am going to give Showcase the opportunity to adjust that. We shall see what comes of it.

roll-up-the-rim

You got another chance Showcase. Let’s see what you got.

The scene itself was SO FRIGGEN COOL!  I don’t doubt it has been seen before but yet again Outlander is ahead of the curve & making history on television by embracing Diana Gabaldon’s words and making them dance in front of our eyes. Releasing that milk, the sound of relief IronginaJenny was making. Made my own boobs start letting down and folks…these suckers havent nursed a babe in 15 years!  Ok..I was probably letting down powdered milk…but that shows ya. GOOD JOB! By missing this scene, my Canadian friends missed out on the conversation of Claire’s plans on trying to get Jamie back… while Jenny expressed her milk. If I heard one more person say “she milked herself” I was seriously going to start throat punching!  She is a woman…not a cow.  Terminology counts here.  As a woman who used to nurse, watching that milk get chucked…you go…NO!!! At the same time – yeah…where the hell would she put it?

On the road again….

Time to get serious, Warm poop, soldiers voices, hauling out the pistols…these girls are on fire!

do this shit

They scope out the soldiers, see Taran but no Jamie. Spot a messenger heading off alone. this is their chance. Head him off & they will have him.

Jenny pretends to faint in front of his horse & instead of being smart and riding right over her…nope…big ole dummy stopped and set upon.

escalated

Got his English arse tied to a fallen log.  Jenny & Claire playing good cop – bad cop all over the place & he couldn’t even pretend to be decent about it. Calling them harlots & sluts.  That’s a sure fire way of getting untied eh?

Jenny is right evil when she wants to be…instead of cleaning her gun, she uses the cleaning rod as a hot poker…this should get his attention & either Claire doesn’t like the smell of this guys feet or the whole idea is distasteful to her…the look on her face is pure disgust.

Jenny gives him a kick in the arse for good measure. Have I mentioned…I really like Jenny?  If he hasn’t figured out Jenny means business, Claire is trying to make that clear to him. His feet are getting branded and he doesn’t say anything and Claire is not enjoying things over much.  Jenny then threatens to smoke his balls…he gets a bit more animated & begs them – balls seem to get attention & he tells them he is only a courier! *DING DING DING*

winn

Claire realizing if he is a courier maybe he carries word of Jamie. Read his stuff!  The dork…the english with his feet branded and his balls about to be crispyfried orders THEM not to break the seal on the dispatches in the bag.  I am afraid you are the one at a disadvantage here dude…tied to a log, ass up with a girl, hot poker in her hand & all. I’d shut my gob if I were you. He knows he is up shit creek with no paddle now.

Shit_Creek

If only this place was handy…shame that

All they needed was in those dispatches. Jamie escaped! The dispatches said they needed soldiers to go look for him because they were headed somewhere else. Soooooo, if they didn’t get the dispatches…TADA…the girls would be the only ones looking. Destroy the dispatches and you are ready to rock & roll.

They figure Jamie is heading North. Then Claire suddenly moves to fix up the soldier’s foot…ummmm wha? No…dude has to die Jenny says. They have a wee battle of the wills over this. Jenny gives it to her straight…hell girl, he even heard where Jamie probably is going. There is NO way they can let him live. Claire…your instinct is to heal – Jenny’s instinct is to protect…together these will melt together soon. Like cheese n gravy.

Poutine

Ummmm whats that noise? Sounds like buddy is choking on something…oh….wait…he kinda is.  It’s his own blood. Hi Murtagh “knows how to make an entrance” Fraser.  When he isn’t knockin’ you out cold…he will just slice your throat for you.  He saved the lassies from the soul stealing work. Thanks buddy. We owe you a solid!

Jenny lets Claire know that her protection mode comes from love & she will bare it soon enough, in so many words.  Claire agrees saying she would have killed him if Murtagh didn’t.  It bothers her to know it’s true, that’s why she looks troubled but she is moving into that part of herself.

The ladies share more moments in the dark over the fire. These are moments Jenny & Claire become sisters of the heart.  Jenny isn’t the sharing type so when she shares stories of Jamie, Ian & herself as children it is her way of inviting Claire into her past…which means she has opened the door to her present.

Murtagh shows up with supper for them…I guess they are going to still owe him a solid – he tries to pass off the duck it looks like for them to clean & they give him the “You broke it, you bought it” look.

ewwww

Actually, we are used to cleaning the things but…you caught it…you clean it!

The next morn. It is time for Jenny to take her leave, Maggie needs her mom, and vise versa. She gives Claire the Quarter Day rents & AHIans lil knife.  It was time for Claire to tell Jenny the things she needed to prepare for – you know…cuz of Culloden & what would happen in the highlands. Damn it if my gut didn’t twist in the memory of reading this one.  Another moment that the pages of the book reach up and smack you in the whole face!

It's. All. Right. There.
It’s. All. Right. There.

Claire spills her guts to Jenny. Potatoes, famines, war, slaughter, land, gold, oh my! Jamie said you would tell me stuff – I’ll do it good sister! PHEW! Good ole forethinking Jamie saves the damn day and he isn’t even there.

Irongina Jenny rides off & we are left with the Army of Two.

Murtagh has a plan, as frustrating as he can be to Claire, it’s not to be “finding” Jamie.  Jamie will be finding them.  He brought Claire’s medicines with him, he wants her to stand out as a healer in the towns. He would dance..oh Murtagh to see you all DancyPrancy with a scowl on your face. I am not sure but I am willing to bet he doesn’t do weddings or funerals, damn sure he won’t do kids birthday parties. Doesn’t seem like a short people lover.

dancypracy

Broke my heart to see those peasants throwing food at the ole grumplestiltskin. Claire also attempted to tell fortunes whilst on the road. Both of them looking to garner information about whether Jamie had been in town. Only making women HOPE he was.

DancyPrancyMurtagh really thought he was good. Truth was, Duncan Lacroix got very good and had to pretend he was bad. What a waste eh? I’d have loved to see Murtagh really get jiggy with it.

The marionettes on stage again 🙂 Claire & her fearies. I love when I catch stuff…makes me feel all warm n bubbly. Hmmmm…maybe it was just too much pop.

rumbly

Claire has an idea for Murtaghs dancing, perhaps he could sing too? Good plan? How about a tune like 

Murtagh LOVES the idea but NOT him singing it and thinks…scottish…make it a scottish song…same tune…scottish words…get a new outfit on her and TADA! There is an ACT!

The Sassenach will get some attention! The banter between Murtagh & Claire was priceless “Stop quoting the bible – it doesn’t suit you!” BURN!

Murtagh throws her up on stage and the other thing that got cut in the daytime episode was Claire uttering a “Oh Fuck” on stage. It was priceless.

https://i2.wp.com/1158060741240391f9c7-7fe731c1f5e1a4e1d980b4b6220a14b8.r64.cf2.rackcdn.com/gifhi151.gif

What she said…

The way Claire looks down at her wedding ring from Jamie before she gets into the swing of the song…made my gut turn…just a bit. He’s with her, always. 

making us feel

Always with the feels!

She however went on village to village singing, dancing dressed as a laddie singing her heart out. Hoping that Jamie was hearing of the Sassenach singing the song that Dougal used to sing when he got too far into the drink.

You can see…some dirty gypsies were studying Claire & Murtagh as they travel village to croft. I enjoyed the whimsy, music & the way they shot the episode.  Not always hearing Claire sing, but seeing her, watching them traveling, seeing Murtagh dance, chatting w villagers, though the responses we “Nope…big red headed fella…ain’t seen him.”

They come upon a small camp where they hear music & see performers …ummmm….DOPPLEGANGERS! Oh.. it’s those damned gypsies! Doing a sword dance…ummm…a good one – don’t tell Murtagh I said that, and singing Claire’s song. The girl is being dirty nasty in her dancing too…mmmmmmm. Claire ain’t happy! Mr. Ward – the gypsy man…his voice reminded me of Geillis! SingSongy and musical but I didn’t like him near as much!

Claire & Murtagh demanded they stop singing their song, she even went so far as to pay them…Claire Claire Claire. She took his word he wouldn’t perform it…but we all know he will because now he has more money & a great song.

That just wasn't smart. Nope. Not smart.

That just wasn’t smart. Nope. Not smart.

Murtagh is pissed. As I think he should be, he knows the gypsies for what they are. Cheats. He tells Claire, Jamie won’t know what song to follow now and she ought to go home, he will just follow the gypsies.  Claire…she throws the WIFE card. 

Claire done pulled rank. Wife beats GodFather like Rock beats Scissors
Claire done pulled rank. Wife beats GodFather like Rock beats Scissors

More singing, dancing, traveling until they seem to have come to the edge of the world.

One dark night, Murtagh finally goes into snapmode. Saying he was stupid for following after her, she is stubborn & listens to no one blah blah. You know, I think he is realizing just how much she is like Jamie…thus like Ellen and it is tearing his guts out…

Claire went an opened a can of she doesn’t know what the hell –  by saying to Murtagh “…because you’ve never lost someone you loved!” Ummmmmm….NO? You don’t think so eh? Let me TELL YOU something! He told us all right…he told us. All about the lassie who stole his heart and never returned it.

Sorry, don't need your heart, here you go.

Sorry, don’t need your heart, it was sent Canada Post and never seen again.

He shared how he killed a bore – was gifted the tusks & made bracelets for this love of his, gave them to her for a wedding present…even though he knew he would never have her. Naturally, Claire clued in that the love he lost was Ellen, Jamie’s Mom, and showed him that she had the tusk bracelets. Murtagh proclaimed his love for Jamie – saying he is like a son to him.

Here…have some.

Or I will keep the kleenex...just for me

Or I will keep the kleenex…just for me

If you didn’t need some kleenex right there.  I am afraid you will need to stop at the nearest medi-center. Someone has turned off your heart.

The next day, the plan is to wash, rinse, repeat. Start all over again. Murtagh lets Claire know…they will manage. Together. Stopped at a tavern, Gypsy lips Mr. Ward stops with a message. First he was going to extort them for it, then somehow he found a bit of decency, I think it was more Murtagh scaring a little bit of the poop out of him than anything, I did not take a shine to the guy. Personal filters ya all. *wink* I have something against lying cheaters. Silly me. Call it Daddy Issues.

The message is to go to Glen something or another Cross real fast like, they think it must be Jamie so off they go. She kisses the little weasel. ICK…hope she didn’t catch something.

They get to a super awesome cave of sorts…calling for Jamie…and dun dun dun…with the sidiest eye of all side eyes.

sideeye

Dougal. SO psyched to see Graham MacTavish back but MAN….they brought him back douchier than ever!

He let’s them know that Jamie is alive but doesn’t let that bit of good news fester long. He let’s them know their song sure worked, Jamie met 6 redcoats on a road, one recognized him and off to Wentworth he went. Stood trial and is sentenced to hang. Not sure when though!

GOTTA GO Claire says! Not so fast Dougal says…it’s chat time with Uncle Dougal Mc Doucherson. Murtagh wasn’t to keen but for some reason Claire says ok…

Dougal tells her you need to let Jamie go and marry me!  Ummm…Jamie ain’t dead you wanker! Dougal is traveling between Arseton & Doucheville…might even be detoured to Prickski.

arseton

He keeps on trying to convince her that the only way to keep Lallybroch safe…OOOPS!  Claire understands now, its about the land…#facepalm.

She wont give up on Jamie…nope…I want your men to help me get Jamie out of there.  You a chicken shit Dougal? Huh? Claire still wants to save Jamie but says FINE I’ll marry you jerkface ONLY if I can’t Jamie out if I fail at getting him out or he’s dead…she’ll marry him. ARGH!

Not the best deal ever, but a deal

Not the best deal ever, but a deal

She can take any men that say they will go but Dougal isn’t going to tell them…

The next scene, Claire begs the guys to help but sure they don’t want to go into Wentworth to save Jamie. Scared.  Except….PoopinWillie! He is the first to stand up. That’s right.  The youngest… well he just went and shamed Angus & Rupert didn’t he? They will not be shown up by lil Willie. They will be going too! Damn straight they will.

No words needed.

No words needed.

Wentworth vs. 5  This should be interesting.  Let me suggest you get the following things ready for next Sunday.

1) Ativan for anxiety, you know, just in case. 2) Screw the kleenex, grab a towel. This will serve 2 purposes. To cover your eyes if needed and to catch any tears & or snot you release due to tears. 3) Booze. If you drink Just do it. Whatever your liquid evil is, make sure you have 2 bottles on hand. One for during the show – one for after. I have heard things.  4) Your remote. If things get too much in viewing through your personal filter. Turn off the TV. No one is making you watch the show. 5) Someone to love. Friend, family, fur baby…it’s always nice if you can have someone to hold onto. A pillow will do in a pinch. 6) Whatever device you choose to livetweet with. This might be a good idea for you. Humour will be hard to find but I promise we will do our best to lighten things up for you. It’s our job.

Catch us on the flip side #OutlanderCAN Sundays 8 pm MST.

SL feeling like an old Cootlander but nope ABOotlander- strong n free!

La- La- Lallybroch all the way home!

A dozen. Can you believe we have made it to a dozen episodes already? What started out as a glisten in our eyes.  Damn, time flies when you are a manic obsessive eh?

The Lallybroch episode opens focusing in on puppies. FOOLED YA! Not the puppies you are used to focusing on at the beginning of the show. Not this time. Still they are adorable! There was that Showcase Nudity Expectation…they call it a warning, I call it a shout out of show benefitsadultcontentThere goes that digression again.

If anyone doesn’t have an insatiable urge to travel to Scotland simply by watching the aerial shots the show features…I think you are dead inside. DEAD. Tourism Scotland should pay Diana Gabaldon & all of the Outlander Starz a royalty. I mean…REALLY.

kimberleeonlinetakemymoney

We are travelling to Lallybroch at mach speeds, that is what we are doing. Jamie is taking NO chances that Claire is going to change her mind. Those friggen airplane flying things she is talking about sound so chill- she probably told him about running water & not having to bury your own poop too. He’s getting her the hell outta stonehedge as fast as Donas can take them.

I know, I know…looks like a slow freaking trot but honestly. It didn’t take that long to get there did it? Work with me people.

Marriage, facetime & all sorts of personal goodtimes later Jamie finds out Claire is robbing the cradle. A good ole SILF. She’s no one’s mother…just a regular ole Sassenach. It’s all good, it’s only a few years, plus girlfriend is VERRA well put together for someone 200 and some yrs older than he is. He could do laoghaire much worse. She has all her own teeth & hardly a pock mark to speak off- except that freaky deaky devilly one on her arm…shhhhh.

shhhh
Shhhhh. Between you n me.

They get to the arriving stages and when Jamie is supposed to be getting happy. The demons of memory start seeping in. He tells Claire he was told rumours about Jenny…uh-huh. Rumours. I think ANY of us could help Jamie our with the rumour department. If you didn’t see it with your own damn eyes or hear it with your own damn ears shut your own big mouth. Or something to that effect eh?

*Rumours - we can tell they travel faster because he heard Jenny was pregnant cuz of Randall but he heard nothing about her marrying Ian. Which wasn't a rumour...it was TRUE. Stupid rumoUrs. PFT!

*Rumours – we can tell they travel faster because he heard Jenny was pregnant cuz of Randall but he heard nothing about her marrying Ian. Which wasn’t a rumour…it was TRUE. Stupid rumoUrs. PFT!

Jamie, as manly as he looks in or out of a kilt or in or out of trews…he still has a lot to learn about being a man…this is where the lessons will start.

I loved the arrival shot…even though I wanted to tell Donas to go home…he looked drunk…boppin into Jamie, then I thought “Hey, if he was walking me like that, I’d bop into him too. You go Donas!”

bigbutts

Just a lil earworm to start your day

“Jamie” A very pregnant Jenny says. A wee lil mite looks up and a big ole red heided man looks over.

She drops, what I hope is dirty laundry…cuz if that was clean…BUGGER…doing laundry back then took too much work to just drop it in the door yard!

god-damnit-o
You are going to have to do all that laundry again. That…man…that’s rough.

 She holds in her baby belly to run into her brothers arms to give him a big hug. Then as quick as the happy homecoming lasts. It’s pretty much over. She chastises him for not texting, sending an email or snap chatting. Rude man. Would have taken just a minute…okay probably would have taken a couple weeks/months to send a messenger. Still RUDE. You deserved that.

little-boy-and-little-girl-o

Then she happily introduces that cute little wee man Jamie to his Uncle. Now because Big Jamie was stupid enough to listen to rumours (remember what happens when you do that people) he jumps on the conclusion bridge and falls through the slats. He makes an ass of himself asking why she would name Randalls bastard after him. DOH!  Jenny doesn’t mince many words…insinuating she is a hoooor? Bad moove dude. GAD…I love it when they bandy about the word hooooor.

Claire tries to get Jamie to see some reason but that’s not gonna go over because a) he’s a stubborn pig headed FRASER b) Jenny called her a trollop.  No worries. I am pretty sure Claire knows a pissy Fraser when she sees one. She takes a step back and lets the rams battle it out a bit.  sibling

Jenny threatens to grab Jamie by the ballocks to make him listen, just like she did when they were younger. So- for all those that said Jenny seemed harsher in the show than the books. You might remember – this passage is FROM the books. Only in the show, Jamie isn’t actually wearing his kilt, he is wearing his trews so they didn’t have her go as fast as a snake and grab his balls…like she did in the book.

Go back in time and tell me THE Jenny that ACTUALLY grabbed his balls & squeezed “wasn’t as harsh” *giggle*.  Truth is, when you are faced with a woman of strength, power & un-shakability. It is stark. Real.  That’s what Laura Donnolly did. 3 cheers girlfriend, you grabbed Jenny “takes no shit from nobody” Fraser Murray by the balls and ran with her. Well done.

Jamie is scandalized she should say such a thing in front of his wife. PSHAW Jamie…she knows all about your balls by now Jenny says. Don’t be such a ninny. Point taken. Claire does…really really does.

Jenny tries to remind him the last time she saw him he wasn’t exactly in the best of condition so how about he change his attitude. Then Ian rounds the corner & sets him straight. Those babies are mine – yep- your Brother in Law & btw…we thought you were dead. Maybe if you only wrote once in a while this whole big mess might have been taken care of.

I get it, the price on your head. Shame how things like that get in the way. It’s all comes down to effective communication folks!

Ya think?
Ya think?

A wee side note…those who have a difficulty warming up to Jenny…thinking she is like sharp glass. Those who see certain women in their lives like this. Are looking at Jenny with their personal experience filter. They may very well be intimidated by those women or dislike them & are attaching those feelings to Jenny. They might not see that but it’s one of those things many of us do without ever realizing it. Sometimes, it is even the traits in ourselves we don’t like…and we see them reflected in those characters. Well, we can outwardly hate them way easier than we can hate ourselves…huh?

right
That’s right…I said it.

Always a Hoppy Guy Ian welcomes Jamie with open arms – Claire too.  Jamie is about to say I am—sorry—but Jenny decides it madlibs time and she finishes his sentence with “a damn fool” and some other unflattering stuff.

pl1m8K2

Back into the house for the understatement of the 18th century.  HoppyGuyIan asks Claire “Do y’drink whisky?” She replies “I’ve been known to have a glass or two.” Let’s finish your sentence for you Claire…since you clearly didn’t. “before breakfast.” or “with another 5 glasses of whisky.” or “added to pocket flask to get through every conversation I have ever had.” HoppyGuyIan gives her his seal of approval & lets her know to prep her liver. It’s going to be a meter checking kinda night.

liver

Jamie glutton for punishment that he is, has this NEED…even though he has been experiencing flash backs.  You see he seems prone to PTSD.  Jamie just has to hear what Captain Creep Master General Randall did to his sister while he was passed out hanging in the yard .  She is only gonna tell you once buddy so you best clean the shit outta your ears and listen good!

This is not just a story, it’s a pop up book…well…not quite. We will get to that.

Captain Creep turns up his level of creep factor to oh…about 942 in this scene. Takes her hand like he is Creepy Uncle Dick leading her to get ice cream in the alley behind Target. You know the one they boarded up last week. Yeah. That one. Then roots her up against the wall. He starts sniffin at her – it’s his way of smelling his prey I think.smellfear

Checking out their fear level. Jenny is doing pretty good though.  It wasn’t bad enough that he cleaned her face in the yard earlier with his nasty fingers, now, he is sticking his damned filthy feelers into her mouth. Those things were sooooo foul that I gagged – and I am not a gagger. Usually. Tobias – you done made me ’bout woof my cookies!

Whomp...there it is
Whomp…there it is

Jenny- She is a no bullshit kinda girl & the taste of those pointers did nothing to improve her attitude, neither did him grabbing her breast like it was bread that needed kneading or having her give him a grope. After making her look at him –  she reached over for a big ole candlestick and bashed him in the head.

Let’s just say Captain Creepy had one hard head that day because it barely phased him! He swung her around & threw her to the ground, figured some pottery would be a nice touch – then up by the hair. This piece of human crap waste sure likes swinging girls around by the hair. Makes my scalp hurt for Jenny! One day…one day…I want someone to grab HIM by that ponytail of his and play the longest game of Tetherball known to man. Just a wee idea!

He tosses her into the next room by the hair & then smacks her. Thinking…that ought to take care of that. Time to get down to business.

Captain Creepy removes his coat, unbuttons his flies & invites Lil Captain Phallus Jr. to the proceedings. Hi there buddy…it just doesn’t seem to be your day. No one is screaming in pain or terror…that’s what you like huh? Awwww…too bad. Is that why your hiding?  Jenny see’s this and well, you know, warbled as it was. She laughed. That can’t be good for the little guy…seems he got REALLY embarrassed, said “No way Jack…I ain’t going out there…THEY ARE LAUGHIN at me!”

bjr

You HAVE to admire Tobias Menzies for committing to this scene the way he did. I mean…he COMPLETELY committed. This was no penis stunt double.  That scene tore down BJR like NO other scene ever could.  It simply couldn’t be “shown” with him “rubbing” at his breeches. The humiliation, the mortification. Jenny’s visual standpoint wouldn’t have been effective had we not known what she had seen, what she & he had both experienced.  People have said “I could imagine it, I did HAVE to see THAT” Could you though?  Could you really?  The dynamic…the nature of that is visceral. Visceral is not always comfortable but its not because it’s genitalia. It’s because it brings you somewhere you might not want to go. Face it, a flaccid penis is not threatening, it’s a part of the human body. It really has the same visual appeal as perhaps…ummm a big toe.  Tobias’—well,  a pretty big toe but – there I go with the digression thing again.

Plus, I am all about equal opportunity nudity.  The body is the body. It’s a part of who we are. The more we hide it and make it shameful the worse society makes people feel for having one. I think that stinks. It’s the reason that using the word penis and seeing a penis becomes some sort of “thing”.  Some said, the penis wasn’t the big deal, it was the “handling” of the penis. I wonder why? I wasn’t supposed to make you comfortable. THAT was the point. A common remark was “I couldn’t do it.”  That’s ok.  It wasn’t you doing it. It was Tobias, in the “role” of BJR, for the part, in the moment.  You aren’t do it for any reason. Take the YOU out of it. Look at it in the perspective it was intended & the why. Take away the negative power the negative hold that has been put into our brains over the years, decades…and TADA. Positive Penis Praise Prevails! – ahem- and yes…I have a vagina. *gasp*

gasp

Now, back to the show. Captain Creepy knows this laughter thing is keeping Lil FlaccidNoodle Jr. from enjoying the job at hand so he figures if he shuts her up by making her turn around and smacking her around…that will cure her for sure.  Nope. Jenny has gone full on banshee by now.  She recalls to those listening, she isn’t exactly sure why…but she could tell both Captain Creepy Sr. & Captain Creepy Jr. didn’t like it when she laughed so she was going to keep that shit up.  She could take a smack but as long as Jr. was flimsy he couldn’t do the job…so LAUGH she would.

hyena-laugh-o

I heard in more than a few articles suggesting Randall wanted her to turn around because he was a homosexual & needed pretend she was a man.  They gathered this after he vied for Jamie (later in the episode).  I have talked to many people who clearly know a little something about homosexuality- seeing how they are…they tell me it’s REALLY hard to pretend a woman is anything but a woman regardless of what hole you are penetrating…let’s not insult them to that degree. SO – I disagree with that particular viewpoint…BJR…has a taste for ANYONE he can terrify. Male or female. As Tuesday, April 28, 2015

” target=”_blank”>Diana Gabaldon as perfectly stated MANY times, BJR is an equally opportunity sadist. He wanted Jenny to turn around so she couldn’t watch his humiliation. Period. He can get aroused by anyone – that he is scaring the crap out of or controlling to his will. Period.  Jenny done screwed over his method of gettin some.

oh no you didnt

Just to make sure he made more friends. He called her a scottish see you next Tuesday and bashed her head off the bedpost. Boy oh boy Captain Creepy! You sure are rackin up the “Degenerate of the Month” points. He stuffed nerveless Jr. back in his pants & they left. Humiliated.

patricks-underwear-o

People found that hard to believe.  Not me.  In my minds eye, there is no way he was going to be able to perform with the last vision of that face being mockery. Better he get the hell out of dodge, letting his men think he done tapped that.

Back to the drawing room. Jenny wanted an apology, Jamie figured he gave her one. Men, do that. Think they apologize when they don’t. Claire had Jenny’s back and corrected him. Now, some think Jenny was being rude to Claire here by saying “This is between my brother & me”  I saw it as her standing up for Jamie. Cool eh? We see things from our perspective- our filters. I have big sisters who push my buttons & stand up for me. Jamie is like “Geez Claire! There ya go again…c’mon… since I can’t spank ya, I’m going to give you a tongue lashin’ and not the kind you like.”

So off to another room they go so he can remind her. He’s the king of the castle & she’s needs to be his queen. At least in public. Remember Leticia? Colum’s wife? She always held her tongue in public, he tells her. She would throw shit at the old codger in private but in public…she supported him. So there’s a visual. Leticia whipping things across the room at a cripple. Tsk Tsk. Classy girlfriend.

Claire tells Jamie he better be careful and smarten up a bit because she can assure him, she has better aim than Leticia ever did.

amen
Claire will drink to a good throwing arm. Hitting her target. Not being meek. Hell…Claire will drink to just about anything.

HoppyGuy Ian breaks the silence, always the sweety. Asking Claire where she is from- doesn’t really matter though does it. This is home she says.

Home Sweet Home
Home Sweet Home

Jenny is a bit taken aback. Home is it? Been gone 4 yrs. Outlawed and PLUNK back down with a wife & taking over my house. That’s a bit intrusive. What about that thing called a price on your big thick head?  Ah, yet ANOTHER Englishman is going to pull me out of the fire. Hmrph…Jenny “take no flack from anyone especially the English” Murray doesn’t trust this much. Why should she, they tied up her brother in front of her eyes, dragged her up into her room & attempted to rape her. Pretty sure there would be no love loss there for anyone. She is the big sister…see’s yet another button un-pushed on her big brother and gives it a go. “Never thought you’d be so trustin’ of the English.”

pushbutton

Oh Jamie you have SO many buttons to push brother!

I think Claire knows where this is coming from and instead of taking it as too much of a dig, she chooses to leave the room & wash up than to start another English/Scottish war.  If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

Choose-a-communication-strategy-Tina-Fey-zip-it

Mrs. Fitzgibbons sent Jamie & Claire their things. Sweet lady. Jenny, for all of those who were growling about her being bitchy- bah! She says right about here that since the Laird is staying, he should have the main bed chamber & sends the maids to take care of things.  She doesn’t seem put out, annoyed or bothered. Ian, in fact looks humoured by the whole deal.  Jamie confirms…Yep… I am Laird. Some thought that was arrogant. Perhaps stating the obvious may be a trifle redundant in the moment but sometimes saying things out loud makes it easier for us to accept…doesn’t it? Especially when we are having a hard time believing it ourselves.

So Molly Maid ripped through the Lairds quarters & got rid of Jenny & Ian’s personal belonging making room for Jamie & Claire to take over residence. Now, it’s time for some walks down memory lane.  Claire, do you see…all the blue? Your new home, room…blue. All the pottery, vases…blue. You didn’t need to buy that vase in episode one did you? You are surrounded by them now…and later…well. FLUTTER!

vases

Jamie tells Claire stories of his father. Bringing Brian Fraser to life for us. Who was played by Andy Whipp. Another fantasticalamazaball casting choice. He was on the screen for moments. He came to life in some dialogue in which Jamie talked about his books, boots n blade.

We get to “meet” Brian. In Fort William as Jamie speaks of him. We got a sneak peek at him – those of us that were hound dogs looking for him in “The Garrison” episode. This time – in this flashback. Jamie brings him to before our eyes & Andy Whipp brings him to life.  They look a like, the lilt of of their accents. Damn fine casting.

I can see it...can you?

I can see it…can you?

The way he commands the guards with compassion & dignity. Not groveling. The way he tells Jamie he will stand by him. This father in this time isn’t ashamed to love his son & kisses his cheek. “Y’er a braw lad son!” Major sigh. Reminding your boy to be strong in the face of everything. Yes. Brian Fraser made me love him in about 10 seconds flat. Frogs n arseholes he made me love him!

Then we have to face off against HIM. Again. Ugh. Captain Creep Master General. Sitting there idly writing letters. Probably to his only friends.

dear s&m

Rambling on to Jamie how his Dad couldn’t possibly get his pardon letter and be back on time, but he had a GREAT idea on how he could get out of getting flogged again.

There were two menu choices. 1. Buggery. No butter. 2. Floggery. With Extra Hate on the side.  Geez Jamie. What’s it going to be? You know…Jamie could live without butter he is thinking. CCMG said he would let him go. Suuuuuuuure, he’d let you go alright. Straight to a grave. I think he would have on’d him, then off’d him.

With the feeling of his father’s kiss still wet upon his cheek he is thinking, there is no way he could let his father down like that. Not so much the  buggery.It’s the whole-letting that man “the chair doesn’t even want sitting on it” break his will.

douchechair

Like Jamie doesn’t know how much a second flogging is going to hurt. The big meany pokes him right in the stripes. Not a here’s a wee FB poke to make your day but a remember this? This hurts dunnit?

pokeme

Then, we get to see the flogging AGAIN. GLARF! Like it wasn’t bad enough the first time. Brian has to be there. Seeing it, then dropping. The aneurysm takes him. We knew Brian for moments. Yet when he falls to the ground, he takes my heart down with him. WHY, BRIAN WHY???

cry

Jamie regrets it all. Not seeing his Dad die. Well, we saw it. It was horrible. Didn’t see him taken away, buried & hasn’t seen his grave. Putting off the tough stuff. Jamie- it seems to be your thing these last 4 yrs. Running away. Ammiright?

SUPPERS ON! Claire thinks the best way to anyone’s heart is by giving them booze. Pregnant or not, poor Jenny a glass & you are sure to get in good with sister.  Small talk turns to “You know anything about being awesome like me & running a house like this?”  “Hmmm, not yet but I learn quick, don’t you worry.”

Ian reminds everyone  Quarter Day is tomorrow. Jenny is excited cuz she gets to take everyone’s monies. Ian just wants to celebrate his buddy coming home! Jenny also thinks this is a good time to rib on lil bro again, things just aren’t tense enough and she has 4 whole years of pent up big sister pissing contests to win. She throws down the Daddy’s grave card.  Jamie is still avoiding that splinter under the nail so…

elk

Jamie takes that one because Jenny lets him suit himself. AKA Get stuffed you wee shithead.

Quarter Day brings lots of happy faces. Mine especially. Jamie in leather. MMMMMMM. Nom Nom Nom.  It’s Brians leather BTW. Looks fine on him, fitting into Daddy’s jacket verra well.  People are bringing gifts for the Laird n Lady. First one…a bottle of booze. Claire is thinking to herself SCORE! I’m going to like it here JUST fine. These are my peeps!

yes

She gets all sorts of gifts, then one…one is SUPER special. The little vase with blue deco. The one she should have bought in episode one. It’s not exactly the same vase but a vase still the same, she had never owned one. Now she did, the look she gave Jamie was “You have no idea but I’m home.”

sigh

Quarter Day is going fine however Jamie seems to be giving away more money than he is bringing in, in the spirit of generosity to his tenants during hard times. Jenny ain’t happy ’bout it.

We get introduced to Rab & Rabbie McNabb. Poor wee bugger Rabbie, just wanted a crappy bannock.  His father started smacking him around in front of everyone. Claire isn’t really one to watch boney lil kids get batted around. She got in there and tried her best to diffuse the situation.  ME?   I would have seen just how far his balls could have gone into his stomach under the power of my Reeboks but…then again, I can be a trifle on the vigilant side when it comes to weak men. There aren’t many things that get my dander up. Morons that smack around kids & women for the sake of smacking them around. Yeah.

hold me back

Hold me back bro…

 Claire brings wee Rabbie in the house to be tended, bringing him straight to Jenny. Their relationship exists. If its strained most likely because Jenny has always been the one in charge of Jamie. The only woman to care for him since their mother died. Think about having to give him up to a wife. Yeah…ouch right?  I think Claire is aware of that so she is being delicate with it.

Jamie sees them with the boy & goes over to see what’s shaking, Jenny dismisses him. She has been in run of the house for a long time but truth is. The men are the ones who discipline the children, the women who are the one who tend & love them. Not his business. Truth. This is why he isn’t concerned when Jenny flits him away & he pretty much ignores Claire when she calls after him to do something there and then.

Next thing we hear is drunk music. This was thanks to the awesome Bear McCreary. Then we see Jamie…he done went and got Claire Drunk. I know right? There’s a switch. This whole scene was just awesomely written, brilliantly acted & just funny as hell. Claire’s eye rolling, Jamie’s ass smackin’ I’m the Laird of Lallywood & beat up people, yo ho ho & a bucket o rum was just plain funny.

DogLaughing

I did like the line “the difference between abuse & discipline”- a little token there for peeps. There plainly is a line that some choose not to see – in both directions.

opinions

Drunken convo about elephants, seeing them & riding them was priceless and as annoyed as Claire was with her annoying drunk of a husband, she also thought to herself, “Oh, I guess whats good for gander…”  One good heave and he is snoring happily.

The next morning, we hear hungover music. Nicely played Bear. See a green Jamie…..another nice change. Claire has a remedy that always works for her. MORE BOOZE!

Jenny flies into the room, not caring over much that Jamie’s head is as big as the broch, giving him hell for not taking the rents & not talking to her before putting the boots to Rabbie’s father, she happened to be taking care of that lil problem.  He looked abashed at this but she kept on going and hit the big button, the one she knew would get his goat. The DAD button. As lil brother he knew he just had to puff up and yell back he was boss and didn’t have to ask ANYONE for help! NUHUH not him! I caught a whiff right there that Jenny probably still saw him as her little brother, yes, always would but it was her father that was Laird. Jamie & Jenny were like peas n carrots. The Laird card just got played not the man card.

I'm the Laird, I'm the boss I make the decisions WHINE WHINE BLAH!
I’m the Laird, I’m the boss I make the decisions WHINE WHINE BLAH!

Jamie went & bit into a chunky bannock, I take it they aren’t supposed to be chunky.He called for Mrs. Croooooook, sounded a lot like hoooooor.  She was like “Ain’t my fault I have to grind the stupid flour…YOUR mill is broke”  So, he puffs up and figures HE is going to fix it. Every book reader is thinking WHOOOHOOOO MILL POND, WATER WHEEL SCENE!

Happy Dance EveryBODY!
Happy Dance EveryBODY!

Jamie & Claire head to the water wheel, sure enough, something is stuck! DARN. Jamie has to strip off his kilt & get into that water. This show can be torture sometimes you know. Making us endure this.

If you can't sense the sarcasm...you are broken deep inside
If you can’t sense the sarcasm…you are broken deep inside

By the way, I don’t have a penis…and I had shrinkage. That effin water looked COLD…AND I’m Canadian. I know COLD! Brrrrrrrrrr. Jamie exclaims CAC!  Which I was sure meant “Holy SHIT my balls fell off!” but Àdhamh Ó Broin said it was just “shit”…

Jenny comes running up & Claire admonishes her because of her condition. Saying she didn’t have to come but she says OH YEAH…I did- showing her who ELSE is coming. Red Coats. AGAIN!  Jenny, fast on her feet tells Claire to keep silent, they flare out their skirts to cover Jamie’s clothes. So for those who think Jenny is hardened & Claire can’t stand her… Yeah. All of that- right there.

These redcoats aren’t evil meanie pants though. They want to help fix the wheel. OF COURSE they do! ERGH! Jamie has gotten REAL good at holding his breath. It’s all his practice going down n doing morning alarm clock exercises. Everything happens for a reason I tell ya!

Jamie manages to fix the wheel & throws his shirt in it to make it look like THAT was what was stuck. The redcoats leave with a passing insult but no harm, no foul. Except maybe they take Jamie’s perfectly good shirt with them. Don’t offer to give it back or anything, just lay claim to it. Weenie move guys. Weenie move.

colin no

The girls rush to make sure Jamie is alright. Jenny’s concern of course comes out in something that sounds like big sister condemnation when Jamie is standing there all, glistening, neked & really really cold. Good lawd…that water looked glacier spring cold. Poor buggers. Jamie hardly heard WHAT she was saying only realizing she was there, keeping his own Wee Jamie covered – not so difficult as he has big hands & we have comprehended that water is super duper cold.  Let’s make this VERRA clear to you

effects of cold water
By now, you should be used to seeing these lil guys, and this one has a hat on…more tolerable?

Jamie spins around. He wants to get out of the water but he also doesn’t want his big sister to see him in all together…so he yells at her to turn around so he can get out before his cock snaps off. We all yell at Jenny to go because the last thing ANY of us want is for his cock to snap off! That…would be a catastrophe.

cant happen
some cocks…just can’t snap off…and be gone from us forever. This is one.

Many of us have a “SHUT UP” Button.  Jenny found hers when Jamie turned around.  His back, the scars…in that moment…the story of Jamie being flogged at Fort William was no longer just a story. It was Jenny’s little brother, being flogged at Fort William. Her story of that day & those 4 years apart, suddenly became HIS story & then theirs. You could see it clearly on her face in the few seconds before she spun around and ran away from it. Who would want to face that any longer than they had to.  Honestly? That kind of truth is like a kick in the face if you ask me.  I know you didn’t but if you haven’t figured out…I’m going to tell you *snort*

Jamie harps to Claire after Jenny takes off, wanting to know WHY she was there. If Jamie had lapels to grab n shake, pretty sure Claire would have right now. Plus its a good thing he had a hold of his own manhood because if it was within her grasp…she might of snapped it off herself. She sharply let him know Jenny came to warn him of the Redcoats because she gives two shits about him. With a swirl of her skirts…off she goes.

Claire is upstairs in Lallybroch, looking at the paintings – beautiful- when she & Always HoppyGuy Ian have a moment.  You know, he is perpetually Jenny’s balance, the happy balance…he & Claire seem to have such a connection in the show. One that didn’t really seem to jump off the pages for me in the book. Yes, he cared for her & him her but of course, you don’t get those stolen glances do you? The “Finally I have a brother in arms” against the world to be married to a Fraser as they battle it out in front of them. To read them…and to see them are very different creatures. I suppose if Steven Cree & Caitriona Balfe didn’t artfully present them – they would be lost on us as well. They get to know one another. He shows her part of Jenny she hasn’t seen, still strong, still worthy but soft. His. Hmmm, maybe the part Claire sees in herself a bit.

damn

Claire is also having a hard time dealing with the dynamics of helping Jamie find his niche. He believes he has a roll to fill. It’s a big one & in trying to do that, he is putting on airs that really don’t suit him. This is something so many people are guilty of that the expression was created for those very people. People do this not because they always BELIEVE it themselves they are better…but they think OTHERS think they SHOULD be better.  I will go back to Quarter Day – Jamie wearing his father’s coat, Jamie calling out to his tenants that LIKE his father he would be lenient.

See...more than just a pretty face folks
See…more than just a pretty face folks

AlwaysHoppy Ian let’s Claire know, the best way to deal with a Fraser is a good swift kick in the arse. Claire asks…if that doesn’t work…Kick harder he says.  He oughta know, can’t be easy to kick w one leg. Better take his advice. Claire makes up her mind.

Jamie, sound a sleep in bed. Looks angelic. Until Claire grabs his sheets and unceremoniously dumps his ass on the floor. She lets him know – it’s the Lady of the houses turn to talk. He best be shuttin his wine gob. She tells him he’s Jamie Fraser FIRST…Laird of Lallybroch SECOND and NOT his father but his own person…in so many words.  Even though Sam Heughan is a great actor, Jamie Fraser SUCKS at it.

We have a few shots from Tourism Scotland again. Have you booked your tickets yet?

Then…we are in the grave yard.  Jenny arriving to meet with Jamie who is standing facing  his father’s gravestone…for the first time. Jenny scares the beejeezus out of him. He is surrounded by dead people after all.

Oh you guys really OTTER make up
Oh you guys really OTTER make up

You just want them to kiss n make up but you know- this is going to be more than that.

And it is.

Jamie asks to speak first.  Claire got to him.  He gives Jenny the money for the rents, tries to make amends for the Rabbie situation & Jenny agrees that their father would have agreed with Jamie that the boy would be better off at Lallybroch.  Still Jamie knows, Jenny had the running of the estate for 4 yrs., he should have spoken with her, and he says so…apologizing.

This hits her but where it hits her starts us on a path that leads to Jenny stealing this scene.

I'll just take that scene....Thank you very much Sam
Laura – I’ll just take that scene….Thank you very much Sam

Jenny, after seeing Jamie’s back, realized the fury of the flogging Jamie had taken at the hands of Randall.  All of the years, part of her blamed her brother for their father’s death. Thinking he must of shot his big mouth off to get himself in trouble. That was after all his M.O. while they were growing up.  Those scars though, those were more than that…she turned it back on her own actions. Laughing in the face of the attempted rape.

Jamie pulls her to him. “Cry not”, he says. She needs to. He needs to comfort her. This is their moment to comfort one another. To heal one another. To share a moment of blame…both of them angered Randall. Both of them blame themselves for their father’s death and both of them can pass that fury onto one man. Captain Creepy deserves their wrath. Together.

Jamie tells Jenny he would have gladly died to save her & here we see Jenny’s iron backbone solidify once again & deliver a line from the books that has always resonated.  “If your life is a suitable exchange for my honour, why is my honour not a suitable exchange for your life?”

nananana
NA-NA-NA-NA-NA

She does love him as much as he loves her. THAT’S why they can get so angry, become so offended & know EXACTLY what to say to turn the knife so deep.

“Welcome home, Laird Broch Turach” Jenny says. Then all is right in the world. They accept their new roles in their lives, they finally lay their father to rest. Jamie kisses his sister & they go home to start their new life. Side by side.

SUUUUUUURE they do!

Man I love these people like family.

It happens every time. I guess I am easy
It happens every time. I guess I am easy

Claire is sitting at the window, starting out at the broch. “What the hell is up with this north facing tower thing?” she asks…”The thing is round, thats stupid.”  “Don’t be silly Claire, the door is on the north…DERP!”  *eyeroll* She says “Fraser’s” like one would say “Dumbasses” which…I got a huge chuckle out of.

Get comfy, but only for a couple moments. Claire feels like she belongs. Jamie reminds her, his arms are her home. Telling her why he married her. That he wanted her more than anything else in his life. Talking about her round arse and rock solid head…such a charmer. Then…the love…he tells her he loved her the first time she let him comfort her at Leoch. Also how he loves her more each day than the day before…yeah…She loves him…of course she loves him. Let’s have sex.

Ummm…them…they have sex. We don’t see it this time but we all have good imaginations & have seen it plenty of times we can replay it.

Naturally, we know, this is Outlander. They are NOT going to let us end on a happy note. No. That won’t happen.

We can't be that lucky
We can’t be that lucky

Sure enough, Claire wakes up & she looks drowsily blissful. You know somethings going down, and it aint gonna be Jamie this time.  He isn’t in bed with her.  Up she gets, dressed and out of the room…first thing she hears is harsh voices & the click of a pistol.

Looking down into the sitting room…Claire sees Jamie surrounded by 3 men of the Watch, pistols pointed at his head.  Told she will have scrub floor first thing in the morning if he doesn’t behave himself…and we know how well behaved Jamie is.

Dangit. Claire…never get comfortable sister.

SL-AB-Ootiest of ABootlanders

FYI—Just a heads up folks…next wks blog burst will be late – I am going on all expenses paid vacay to Cancun w the hasbeen for our 23rd wedding anniversary…the company I am with is kind enough to run an incentive trip that happens to fall during this time…booya! So take care of you…keep OutlanderCAN warm for me. Our Twitter LiveFeed will still be a go.  My fellow admin & buddy tlmfarmgirl will be impersonating me & taking over the @ABOotlanders twitter feed for the hour

I reckon The Reckoning was JUST what the doctor ordered. Dr. Jekyll that is

Nuts_11

Get your nuts here. Real nuts. Actual Nuts.

Wow & wow. This episode pulled out all the stops & it seems to have split the fandom- which seems a little nutty to me.

First 1000 thank yous to ALL of those involved in the creation of this series.  I know there are people out there that make it their mission to pick everything apart, make fun of shit & feel it’s their given right to voice their very gnarly opinions. My truth is…we should feel privileged to have something to complain about.  I won’t because I am grateful to have it in front of my face in the first place. Being entitled isn’t my jam.

The Reckoning was all I could have hoped for – and even more.  It was from Jamie’s POV. BRILLIANT. Well played Mr. Moore n company. WELL PLAYED!well-played-445681

Not only because we got to hear his voice overs, lets face it…Sam Heughan’s voice is like  mozzarella fingers….smooth n melty melty melty.  It was a rock solid plan considering the parts of the story that were going to be told. I loved the opening scene, like a young boy, skipping rocks…just talk Jamie. Keep. Talking. Everyone else shut your damn mouth, Jamie is talking to ME.bunny love

Yes. Horrocks. Jerk feed. Shoulda beat his teeth in. Now-wee Willie Winky blow your horn. Really kid?  Is it really too much to tell the truth? You went for a piss did you? Nu-uh.  As demonstrated later on in the episode by Murtagh & Jamie, a piss only takes a few seconds.  You my friend went for a poop.  It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone poops. They even write books about it.  But poopin is for sure what you were doing, other wise Claire would not have had time to wander SO FAR to have found the stones & been caught by the dreaded redcoats and as I like to call him – Captain Creep Master General. That dude has some serious warped inner dialogue that transforms right to his features. Tobias, you are scary. In a good way. If that’s possible.

Off go the fearsome foursome to save the damsel in distress. Murtagh, Rupert, Angus & Jamie. These are four dudes you do not want to meet in a back alley somewhere. They took a whole garrison in one fell swoop! Murtagh and his nighty night cracks to the noodle. Which he is probably known for in the Highlands. “Och, yer havin trouble sleepin? Aye, go visit Murtagh…ye’ll not feel a thing”skull

Scaling walls with very iffy ropes! I mean come on Jamie, ya gave that thing a tug…it HARDLY seemed stable but SURE…we’ll go down it and take the chance of rope burning your balls to charred bits.ropeburn2

Blowing up barrels o’ pitch & beating the hell out of redcoats with muskets…and bashing that smug nasty sunnuva whoseit face off the desk.  Now that’s entertainment folks!

The dialogue between the 3 was entertainment in itself. Captain Creepy was showing off his fetishes a bit “want him to join us?” “Umm pardon excuse me”  Claire showing off her big ole medicine balls by threatening to cut off his. Ha.  That girl, she will not go down without getting her own in will she? I must say the ass Captain, did seem like he was pulling on her hair a bit rough. Dude, this is TV…calm your nuts a bit. Cait needs that stuff- its a part of her character.

Take a lesson from Gilbert...lighten up
Take a lesson from Gilbert…lighten up

People have to constantly be reminded THIS IS TV. Why didn’t Jamie kill BJR right there and then?  Well…consider this. That would mean Captain Creepy’s story would be over.  He would then-  create no more havoc. THAT’S JUST NOT ACCEPTABLE. Sheesh. Wentworth knows there is SO much more havoc to be caused.

DUH!

I keep hearing on the interwebs “That didn’t happen in the books.”  “They left that out” and sadly it’s usually attached to a tirade of whining.hearye

Hear YE Hear YE! How bloody bored would we get if it were EXACTLY how it were in the books? Seriously? Those of us who know the books…and yes…really know the books. Read them a dozen times or more.  We have seen them in our minds o’er and o’er again. The novelty, my friends, would wear off really bloody fast. Another thing…they wouldn’t translate to TV as nicely as you would romanticize in your head. Let the professionals take care of it and shhhhhhhh. Enjoy it. Let the changes be something new and exciting to add to the story you fell in love with. Not a take away.  Perspective people.

fireworks

The fight between Jamie & Claire on the way to Leoch was perfect. The fire, the intensity, the way they got into each others faces. Just like real people do when they are at their breaking points. I loved the way Claire kept jumping in front of Jamie, forcing him to face her & when he finally snapped, spit flying in her face. I sang Murtaghs knock out song “THANK YOU” to the screen because they pulled it off.  Then…Snap. Crackle. Pop. Goes Jamie’s wee heart.  He vowed to protect her and he just lost his shit all over the place. The whole day came crashing down on him and so did his heart.  Sam really didn’t have to recite the lines, his face said most of his dialogue for him. Yup….guts….out. SPLATTOOIE!

cecille-splat-o

Forgiven. Well…for that lil transgression anyway. Claire isn’t really prepared for part 2.

The highlanders play “ignore the Sassenach”.  Not even looking at her- acknowledging her existence in anyway.  Dammit…just when she got in good with them – and ummmm…they did just save her life. Whateves…*sigh*

tolerate me

We all knew what was next.  We all wondered just how they would handle this little piece of the puzzle. Some hoped they wouldn’t show it, some couldn’t wait to see it. The truth is, we all have this little thing called a personal viewing filter. It is made up of life experiences. It is made up of our every day. It is made up of how we process & perceive things. It is there because of how our lives were shaped. Guess what? WE ARE ALL RIGHT! DUN DUN DUN! I can not for one second argue with someone that has been a victim of domestic violence that their viewpoint has no merit. I can not for one second argue with someone who has been a survivor of sexual assault and healed has no merit. It is pointless to argue with someone who has logical facts about time, personal accounts and realism on their side. I refuse to get into debates with people about time periods & punishments because frankly, this is a story.  A story that Diana Gabaldon wrote and now was being made into TV. This scene, and others to come, are intricate parts of said story.  I believe they handled this one beautifully.bow-70s

It showed Jamie’s determination. His logic for his actions. It shows Claire’s no bullshit, not going down without a fight attitude & the spirit of the scene was just that.  Take your personal filter out of it for a moment, if you dare – see it for what it was. Character building & story telling.  My favourite part of that scene was Claire backing up like a cat in a cornerca & of course binging things off of Jamie’s head. Girlfriend has a wicked arm! She would be my first pick in a fast ball tourney. No doubt.

Back at Castle Leoch you would think from the reception things would be awesome. Seriously, everyone needs a Mistress Fitzgibbons in their corner…don’t they? What a cheering section!

9fitz

Biggest WHOOHOOS alright. Next to Laoghaire’s *snicker*

Have that follow you around all day.  Make someone feel like a million guineas.   I have to say…Colum really turned out to be a fun sucker though.  You want a party pooper? Invite old TwisteyLegs McTwisterson to the festivities. He’ll do it quick like.

The politics in the episode swept me away! I really which Harper would take some ball growing lessons from old Colum. Dude might be shooting blanks but he sure knows how to grow ’em.  The Jacobite cause is an underlying catch in the first book- with much more in DIA so I loved how they made it such a bone of contention here. It really makes the storyline come off the pages. When Dougal went on his tirade and dropped the bomb…you know…YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER all Maury Povich up in the house! I was like “Damn Guuuurl!”

oh-no-you-didnt-29

Having that be a power struggle with the MacKenzie men & within the clan itself was Grade A MacKenzie Meat Sandwich. Make a donair outta that and bring me two! It gave Jamie some much needed time to develope as one whose strategizes & lets others make the moves. It was a very Laird-Like moment for him, aiding Colum in mending that crack in the armour with Dougal.

I have to just say Murtagh, every scene he is in. He steals it for me. Scene Thief! Sound the alarm. Especially in the wood when the boys were putting a pounding on WeeWillieWinkie…and Dougal asked them were they with him.Murtagh went and hocked a loogie. That was a resounding “Up yers” wasn’t it?

middle-finger-gif

That brings us down by the river. Another scene which I am SO glad they added, even if as the time I was the WTF?! The more I thought about it, the smarter I thought it was. Some see this as making Jamie weak.  Are you serious?  Some see it as making him less honourable? Ummmmm…you be cray cray. Laoghaire…came down to his “secret place”- basically told him she has been stalking him since she was 7. Ok. That’s a bit more than a crush.  Jamie KNOWS that he didn’t dismiss her affections all this time. He is aware he got himself into this mess. He now needed to get himself out.I'm_outta_here!

When girlfriend pretty much disrobes and put his hand on the top of her bewb (thats how he says it) – all of a sudden the Outlander fandome expects Jamie to turn into INSTADICK. That he would rip his hand away & proclaim his love for Claire & break her heart at the ready. Let’s not forget. Jamie, is a man. (Well he IS a character..but I am digressing)…bewbies are warm….they feel nice…and they tend to make men stop thinking. Why you say? Because most men can supply oxygen to one head at a time and it took him a moment to get the blood back to the one he needed to be thinking with, and he did. He was letting her down as gently as he could because…he is a man of honour. The one everyone wants him to be. It’s because everyone hates Laoghaire and thinks she a nasty wench…she had done nothing up to THAT point to say she was, except try to get the man that she loved to be with her. With that Jamie was being kind & caring. You know, the kind & caring Jamie everyone wants him to be – but because so many hate Laoghaire- they want him NOT to be kind & caring with her.fdup

Remember, Jamie hasn’t read the books.   All I can picture is fans all over the world screaming at poor Jamie…READ THE BOOK! You are supposed to be perfect you regular piece of shit human! *snort*

read the book

Can we have make up sex now? PUHLEASE?  Jamie going back to Claire & their room, contemplating how he was going to get back into her…good graces.  Dude. Is. Good.  I am glad he did a little soul searching, he became a man in that room. Admitting that his relationship with her meant more to him than everything he had been taught since he was a lad.  I did have to giggle when he said this about Colum though. “I saw a rigid man bend” I shouldn’t have laughed but…ummmm the guy is bending starting at the ankles, it was an analogy that just…you know…ok. I will stop.

If you are going to break a steely girl heart, a good way to do it is pull out your dirk…and swear your loyalty to her.

love

The dialogue that took place after, right before they got into the HOT HOT HOT sex was perfect. Him asking if she wanted to live separately, her admitting she probably should but that wasn’t the way of it, then them coming together. Slight pun intended here. The intimacy that was displayed was intense & yeah, I might have felt a little voyeuristic but in a really good way. spongebob

I have heard some say this scene was like soft porn. Ahem. Folks. No. GO pick up yourself some soft porn – I know soft porn – this ain’t it.  This is however GOOD TV SEX! I would much rather see our couple actually coupling rather than looking like they are a soap opera sliding into bed and rubbing 2 sticks together. That is NOT Jamie & Claire sex like I read it…to be perfectly honest with you, neither is what they showed me. What I read- is full on pornography…I have a FANTASTIC imagination. What they pulled off in this episode was flipping brilliant. It looked like actually make up  sex! I laugh that more people didn’t freak about Claire pulling the knife on Jamie & threatening to gut him while she was riding him.  This of course was perfect timing on her part because any man will promise anything during an intense sexual encounter such as this. “New house babe? Sure…just don’t stop!”  “That new ring…YES! How many carats!? Keep going!”  It’s a fantastic power position. Ladies, start your engines & get a grip, being sexually empowered is a MUST.

Making our way to the last dramatic *GASP*.

dramatic effect

LAOGHAIRE DUNDUNDUN

The illwish.  That Jamie didn’t know it was Laoghaire in the books made me think he was a few fries short of a happy meal (in the books) but with the extra scenes in the show…of course he would know and right away.  I loved the dramatic effect they threw in for the show. This is ALWAYS necessary – it’s a) fun for audience b) it makes the scene pop c) it shows peeps this is important.  To play it off as not a big deal…people would be whiney about that.

TV shows need triangles.  I am really looking forward to what they do with Laoghaire.  Nell Hudson is fantastic. The Colum/Dougal/Jamie thing is fantastic.  I must say all the added bits, as a book fan get me all revved up!  I KNOW the books! I love the books, but they are the books. This is something new. BRING IT ON.

je suis

SL- the AB-Ootiest of all ABOotlanders (that mean I have the biggest arse) 

Do the math…we GOT this thing. You are invited – #OutlanderCANCAN

There are 8 wks left. 8 wks. left. We have 8 episodes in the bank. Did you do the math? Huh? Eh? What? Wait!

math

math math numbers plus equals dinosaurs in purple

Frankly, that math was easy enough. We have it figured out, plus, if Showcase won’t play in the sandbox with us, we will just have to entertain ourselves.

You know, it isn’t like we haven’t done THAT since October. I mean, really.  Us Heughliots are quite a resourceful bunch are we not?

thanks brain

We don’t have to remind you about coming up with #Droughtlander? We will however remind you Diana Gabaldon posted it on her Facebook. Yes. We are still pretty tickled about that. Then we had our perfect little Scottish island we pretended to buy? I am pretty sure there are still people packing their bags for that one. I mean wanting to start a crowd-funding & kick-starter campaign? Seriously. Girlfriends were going a bit craaaaazy for cocoa puffs. Yup…I had to tell ladies that was a wee joke.  We have this “keeping ourselves entertained” shit under control.

Sunday nights are our jam in Canada.

Thats OUR JAM!

That’s OUR JAM!

Nothing like going to church in the morning and then praising all that is holy for those knees, thighs and then all that is Jamie Fraser in the evening. Nope nope nope!  Seems to suit our sensibilities it does. We have decided with 8 wks out- It’s warm up time.

We are countin’ ourselves back down to April 5th with some rewatching of the Outlander. Starting with Episode One. We will be doing that on Feb 8 at 8 PM MST. Mountain Standard Time for those I am speaking the gibberish to. And yes, I like adding the the word THE before words because I think it makes words sound fancy. It’s a thing I have. Like “THE google….and THE kilt….and THE fine round arse”  Yeah…like that.

This is the way Canada shall play.  #OutlanderCAN is our regular watching hashtag so since we are on repeat, replay, rejoice…we will

#OutlanderCANCAN for fun!  We would love our fellow Canadian friends to join us for a live tweet & any of our Outlander friends who just love watching this show. You know, those who simply want another reason to inject more of the #cracklander into their veins.  We will tweet, discuss, laugh & interact.  Hopefully enticing more viewers to this phenomenal show come April 5th. (Or yes, whatever dates it will his your screens)

THAT after all, is what it is all about. HINT HINT NUDGE NUDGE, Showcase.

That wasn't so hard. Let's be friends.

That wasn’t so hard. Let’s be friends.

 See…I can be subtle…like a brick. To a face.

That’s all us Heughliots have been doing- trying to get new viewers, lotsa them.  We have been doing a damn good job.

We are a proud people

We are a proud people

We could make great partners Showcase! Why don’t you love us?  Even #OutlanderStarz follows our awesomeness. You know… we can accomplish more together.  There is no “i” in team and all that gobbiligoohoo. What do you say? Wanna sip? It’s super yummy!

 koolaid

For example, we have NO idea if Showcase is heading to The Calgary Expo to promote Outlander but we KNOW we ARE! We are dressing up, we have PROPS! Outlander PROPS even!  There are a lot of us and WE ALREADY WILL BE THERE TO SPREAD THE WORD!  We have been letting Showcase know via twitter and if their social media department was paying attention you’d think they’d hop on this ride. Free Advertising my friends. THE BEST KIND!

Goodness knows Sony & Starz has ridden this Social Media wave big time. We saw how they grabbed a hold of our #Droughtlander. Smart, smart folk that they are. Eventually, months later, Showcase joined them. Come on Showcase…We are here for you. Waiting.

We are a very patient people

We are a very patient people

As we have it, we are rallying the troops. First stop. THIS SUNDAY. 8 PM.  We will see our Canadian friends…and we know many of our other Outlander friends will be there too. ANY excuse to get together for a little #Cracklander group therapy – they are right there. We so love how you throw out the signal and they come running, tappin the vein, line ready!

women-support-group

The Original meaning of the #Cracklanders…as debuted in the summer of 2014

From all over the world, timers will be set. Hashtags for the ready to follow along. #OutlanderCANCAN can!

can-can-o

OutlanderCANCA

Tell us where YOU will be watching from, what your twitter handle is so we can be sure we are following along with you too. Remember the @Heughliots #1 rule of Interwebs happiness is #AAPI  and for the record, it makes real life a hell of a lot more solid too!

We do it for every tweet we read.

We do it for every tweet we read.

See you all on the flip side! Or Sunday. Which ever comes first

highfivecanuckle SL Heughliot @Large

Canada Dry…not the pop- the time between Outlander Episodes 8 & 9. ORIGINAL

and here we sit. Waiting. This is what happens when you get addicted to Cracklander. You binge out and then there is a dry spell in town, problem is, we can’t hop in the car and go to the big city to score a hit or call Creepy Uncle Jack that Mom doesn’t ever want us to talk to…we have to wait it out.

bored

Do I look impressed? No…it’s because I’m not.

So, we wait.  It’s a reallllll good thing that I have a shit load of friends waiting with me, tappin their own veins until episode 9 airs.  Our American friends at least “know” their kill switch date.  Us up here, in the great white…well…we can only hope that Showcase gets it right this time. HINT HINT!  Nope. I am NOT known for subtly.

Can you hear me NOW?!

                                               Can you hear me NOW?!

As much as we like leftovers, we prefer not to have them – every – single – meal. Knowhatimsayin?

So? What shall we do while we wait?  I have some suggestions for you.

Not all of them are practical and not all of them will particularly help ease the pain.

We tend to either state the obvious, be incredibly sarcastic or...you know...pull shit like this.

We tend to either state the obvious, be incredibly sarcastic or…you know…pull shit like this.

My question to you now is… when have you known me to be practical or helpful? I’m here to entertain… or create a reasonable facsimile of humour in some form. I think you may be getting used to that concept by now eh?

We have to FIRST stop complaining that there is a break. There’s a break. Will complaining stop the break? Nooooooo…the break does not stop with the complaining. Yes, I am saying this to myself just as much as I am saying it to everybody else.

Even Jack can't take it any more

Even Jack can’t take it any more

The next step is to DO something about it.  We have to pass the time somehow. So LET’S get creative! Sure, some of us can knit (not me), some can make WONDERFUL fan videos, (not me), some can paint or draw, (not me) so the Not Me’s of the world…must do other things…here are some suggestions.

Take them in the spirit they are intended.

To Excite and Entice. No?

To Excite and Entice. No?

  • Find another addiction.   It’s what crackwhores do.  When the crack runs dries…the meth’ll do. So tune into The Walking Dead, catch up on a show you never watched like Breaking Bad, if there is still one or two of you out there that hasn’t seen it…or REALLY treat yourself and watch Republic of Doyle. I am not shitting you. That is some good TV right there!
    See how good that TV is?

    See how good that TV is? He has what we ladies call STUPIDMAKERS…those muscles that trail on down to his happy place…No idea what they are called…but ummmmm….DUH *drool* DUHsummore

    Or check something else out that captures your interest and makes you want to watch it again and again. Something that makes you want to research the characters, watch previous seasons, get the books. Whatever you need to do to fill the gaps of time. You know, about 6 months worth.

 

  • Read ALL the Gabaldon books. In my case…Re-Re-Re-Re-Re-Re(oh FFS you get the picture x 12) the books, throw in the novellas, the Lord John series, listen to the audio books by Davina Porter. That ought to keep you busy and out of touch with reality a good long while. We know Diana’s books are kinda on the large side…which is great…because when someone interrupts you while reading, you can throw it at their whole face. Not half, not just their nose or chin…their WHOLE face.                                                                                        Click right here if you want to know the chronological order of all the tomes. *PHEW-Big words n meanings…need a drink!*

 

  • Scour the interwebs for juicy gossip  interesting information about the show, cast & crew. This does not make you a stalker. It makes you curious. Curiosity is a good thing.  Remember when they said that when you were little? Yeah, just pretend that.

    There’s no problem here…carry on

 

  • Considering we are going to be waiting in Canada from the months Oct- probably around April/May. Shovel your snow, clean off your car, scrape the ice off your windows and watch some hockey games. AKA Be a Productive Human That ought to keep you plenty friggen busy eh?  Me…I do not choose to do those things. You will continue to see me right here. Typing out blogs for your viewing pleasure or roll your eyedom.
  • Last but not least…Get a life. BAHAHAHA! Who’m I kiddin right? WHO exactly spent a couple hours today writing this VERY blog? Yeah…this girl…
    Adamjkurtz.com  - You know you want this balloon. You Know you NEED this balloon

    That was mean. I shouldn’t have

    I just wanted to see your face when I said it. Too bad I can’t…I do have have a great imagination though. Thanks to Mr. Dress-Up, Casey & Finnagin all those years ago.  What I wouldn’t do for a Tickle Trunk today. Well I have the grown up version but a kids version would help pass the time too….never mind…the grown up version is just fine.

    Yep...mine's just a lil bigger.

    Yep…mine’s just a lil bigger.

    Needless to say, the Droughtlander will be over before we know it because well…the best way to get through ANY tough situation is to Get Claire Drunk and stay Claire drunk. Let’s face it. Us Canadians have livers of steel. If there is something we do, and do well. It’s drink. Wine, beer, rum, whisky, vodka, liqueurs…we are equal opportunity. Besides, it helps keep us warm over those cold winter months. We are not a stupid people.

    No I do not endorse alcoholism...but drunkenness is a whole other sandbox.

    No I do not endorse alcoholism…but drunkeness is a whole other sandbox

 

 

Stay warm Canada…and to our Outlander friends…we don’t like to drink alone so let’s get this party started. *HIC*

SL – Heughliot @ Large

Our original Blog date on this was in October…How Time Flies when you are being tortured…

AB-Ootlander- Canadian girls like Castles too.

As I always need to mention. We, in Canada, are behind our American friends by 2 weeks when it come to viewing Outlander on our TV’s via a network.  Their network is Starz. I need to acknowledge their fantastic promotions (numerous T-Shirt, Swag, Pocket Jamie swag give aways & ummm a Trip to Scotland with a show WALK ON! ) and lets not forget numerous fan events across the US.  Our network is Showcase. They gave away a $25.00 Subway gift card during episode 4 to the person who told them how many times Jamie said Claire during the episode *cough* once *cough*.

Nice Try! Maybe next time.

Nice Try! Maybe next time.

Digression. It’s one of my issues. One.

We go onto Episode 2, What happens in Canada on Sundays when Outlander comes on? A few things. In the afternoon – our local Liquor Depot or Liquor Spot (Yup – we name our Liquor stores such things) gets an influx of fans stocking up for the #OutlanderCANDrinkingGame. Churches shut their doors. It’s true I am totally making that shit up. See?

Everything on the interwebs is true.

Everything on the interwebs is true.

One of my favourite things about our Showcase experience is our “List of Benefits”  before the show starts. Course Language. Adult Content. Violence & Nudity.  Some people call them advisories. Aye – Eh. Potato- Potahto and one of my favourites from a twitter friend…its like comparing Jo n Kezzie. Neither here nor there really.

Castle Leoch. Now every Canadian kid loves castles! We don’t have many or any here but I can promise you – there is a generation of us that pulled up a little rocking chair with Rusty, Jerome the giraffe and the Friendly Giant on the CBC. We got cozy and he read. Oh how I loved that castle.

Let's take trip down memory lane. Look Up! WAAAAAY UP!

Let’s take trip down memory lane. Look Up! WAAAAAY UP!

SQUIRREL! Back to Castle Leoch shall we?!

Claire shows up in the middle of the mud and shitdung (it was a double negative kinda sorta but Mrs. Fitz said it and I liked it). Claire stood out like a nun in hoooooor house. Mrs. Fitz came off as just a bit more than suspicious to start but warmed up nicely I think.

suspicious

We all just really wanted Claire & Jamie to be alone for a while. Claire demanded it. Again. She is good at that demanding.episode 2-04

He takes of his shirt

Hummana Hummana Hummana

Let’s just enjoy this for a moment. Absorb this goodness.  For all those people who think I am objectifying this man. I am admiring what  has been created for me to admire. Look at that beauty. For what it’s worth, I think Claire is hot too and even though I am completely heterosexual. I get why men would think she was hot and don’t begrudge them her beauty.

back

front

You have to take the bad with the good. Jamie’s back is a part of his history. Sad Sad history. *sigh* Jaaaaaaammmiiiieeee.

We go through some lovely moments with Jamie & Claire, some not so lovely moments. You know, where he recalls his first experience w BJR. We react when Jamie speaks – don’t we?  He recites an iconic line from the book “Ye need not be scairt of me, or anyone else here, so long as I’m with you” Diana was right…it was important that they kept that in there. THANK YOU RON! iconic

I think all of us enjoyed seeing Claire climb out of bed the next day, disheveled & looking like she didn’t know what way was up.

clairehairdontcarequote

WAAAAAAHHHH mu broth

WAAAAAAHHHH mu broth

Getting dressed and set to meet himself was a blast to watch, loved the music, the clothing and I was just a little sad to know I had a built in bum roll. Let’s just call it evolution.

Off she goes to meet with TwistyLegs MacTwisterson. Doesn’t every blog have a name for him besides Himself? Colum? Laird? All I know is…those CGI legs are hard to look at…they look like they are going to snap at the ankles any second. They discuss hospitality, lack of & going home. Yeah right Claire. You really should read the book.

douchbag

We had plenty of commercials. Promises of leaving the castle. It was time for Claire to play her own version of a drinking game! Only she did it while sitting between the MacKenzie brothers.  Yes, would have been WAY more appropraite if it were Bob n Doug…but nope. It sooooo wasn’t.

hammered

awkward

Yeah. That happened. Claire knew it was probably the best aka worse note to leave on.

weebles

weeble

A good night sleep brings Claire a gooooooood idea. Time to head off to the stables for some Jamie time. Nothing like a lil Ging in the morn.

samhorse

He apparently likes a girl w spirit. Which excites me.spirit

Avoid Looking all together. GOTCHA!

Avoid Looking all together. GOTCHA!

thigh

squats

I am not sure WHO I complain to…but I think it’s a legitimate complaint.

We go on to laugh w Rupert. Meet Geillis. Who THANK YOU VERY MUCH plays her perfectly.  Her voice is like a melody of batshitcrazy and I loooooove it!

We also meet loose Leery (there are so many names for her…I will stick to this one) in front of Judge Himself. If you read that all grammatically messed up, it won’t flow. Don’t try too hard. Jamie takes a beating at the hands of his buddy Rupert because Dougal told him to…and told to more…and more. Jerkface.  Murtagh shows his awesome, silently at the end…again. And yes, I know I spelled his name wrong in the tweet.

murtagh

Claire fixes Jamie up –  again. He might have done it to save loose leery the embarrassment, or he could have done it so she could fix him again.

Now we see Claire going back down to the room. You know. The room. The one she and Frank had to bang their way into in Episode 1. No pun intended…ok…well on second thought- total pun intended.

that roomYep, I was right.  No face for you!

In fact…dun dun dun. You will be Castle Leoch’s new healer Claire. If you can’t join them – BEATON.

you are staying

That’s all she wrote…for episode 2 anyway…3’s ketchup will be up soon.

SL

Heughliot at Large