Searchin for my Watch! Och! That’s backwards. Ep. 13 & 14 Two-fer!

I have been in Mexico, enjoying guacamole outta a bag. Really…resort…why’d you do that? Still, I was having a fabulous over a week away from reality…however… this means I missed not just ONE episode of Outlander but I missed TWO!

2

How’d I survive??? Oh wait…I was here.

Doing stuff like this...
Doing stuff like this…

I have my ways. I did watch them both. THANK GAWD!  However, my husband might have reconsidered his view on smackin’ me around if I would have hauled out my laptop during our romantic getaway to write these lil blog bursts for ya. To save my marriage & my ass,  I saved them till I got home & am doing a two-fer.  2 episodes for the price of one.

119_crazycat_cat_gifs
Lets do this thing…

You may get cliff notes or you may get the longest effin blogburst known to man. I have no clue…I’m just typing here. If you are a betting person, go for the latter. 

“The Watch” was a fanfreakingtastical episode! I loved it because it was a tale of two stories woven together and it didn’t confuse me. Which is a huge selling point cuz…well….pretty day.

We start off with Jamie looking down the barrel of some dudes…yeah…pistol…and he has a big’un! They share barbs and suddenly you think “Geez Jamie, isn’t it usually Claire that has the flappin gums?”  When they came to Lallybroch, they switched brains. First, he gets all #ClaireDrunk next #ClaireLippy. Thank all that is holy – Jamie…is SAVED by his big sister!

here I come

Turns out she knows these guys, The Watch. Not Rolex or even Timex, these guys are dang Casio’s.

Jenny doesn’t just know them a lil, she knows them a lot.  We learn that Always HaoppyIan even thinks of the leader in high regard. Why? Cuz he reminds him of Jamie.  Ain’t that sweet?  The Watch is both bad & good. They take money from folks to protect them from meaner folks than them.  They are the underground gang of the Scottish Highlands & they have the Frasers/Murray’s back!  Although Jenny doesn’t trust them enough to say outright “Hey dudes, this is my outlawing bro…you could get a good chunk of change for turning his ass over.” (To the the English…oh and I suppose to Captain Creep Master General- that’s splitting hairs)

They make intro’s “Here’s cousin Jamie, wandering in after years with his English bride- but we don’t mind her. Much.”

MeOw

MeOw

The look on Jamie’s face during AHIan’s exchange of pleasantries with Taran MacQuarrie, Leader of the Watch made ya wanna snort out loud. Both shock & jealousy. “He’s MY BFF! not yours!” “What are ya doing touching HIS sword Ian…that so ain’t right dude!” 

Sad sulking batman...Ahem...Jamie

Sad sulking batman…Ahem…Jamie

Jamie is NOT a happy camper when he finds out about this lil arrangement because now he has to play goofy Cousin Jamie MacTavish & everyone knows he bites his toenails. Weird kid.

Jenny & AlwaysHappy Ian put the breaks on Jamie’s temper tantrum and tell him…play along…or DIE! Stupid – remember the price on your big fat red heid. This is the Watch – they go where the quid is and right now, that’s your hied!

Jamie gets all “I NEVER WOULDA”  *sigh*  Guess ya shouldn’t have taken off for 4 yrs then huh?  Shit had to get done.

Claire agrees. Don’t be stupid…stupid! I think she said it nicer though – but the same effect was had because he knew – his responsibility was to his family. His wife, sister, bro n bairns – born & not yet born.  All that I learned from…this here face.

jamie
It’s the OK I GET IT…I’ll shut the hell up face. It won’t be easy but I will do it for the sake of my family.

 They have one of the most awkward dinners with the unmannered lot, like ever. Jamie trying not to be Lairdy (that’s a word right?) & Claire looking down at the nose picker in the crew. There is always one booger roller! I don’t know where they found that guy…trolls r us? How many bridges were searched under? *sigh* I know I know..ACTING! Only Acting. Gave me the willies! Plus…how can you possibly trust a guy with no top lip!?

Where the hell did his lip go? I mean really???

Where the hell did his lip go? I mean really???

 I had a hard time NOT liking Taran. Makes me feel dirty, and not in a good way either. He is a perceptive one, that Taran MacQuarrie. His name sounds like McCoy to my ear…is that a mistake? I dinna think so.

They cover various topics during dinner, how Jenny hides the good food & expensive tobacco when they come. Who wouldn’t? Bastards would eat & smoke it all…in that order one would hope – some do seem more civilized than others. Name sounds like McCoy tries to get some info out of Jamie when Claire offers up he fought in France with AHIan. That stirs his interest, if they were soooo close-  why oh why – hadn’t his buddy ole pal talked about this big redheadedsummuvvabitch before? Things that make ya go hmmmmm.

 The Watch divulges they have a plan in the works and more men arriving – I think Taran kinda likes Jamie…oh…who doesn’t? EVERYONE LOVES JAMIE!

raymond

It could be an 18th century spinoff

A horsie needs tending & of course…DUN DUN DUN NA! Jamie to the rescue…he is the best damn shoer across the land. Jamie’s his name…shoin’s his game.  He’ll get that horse fixed right up.  Anything to get them dingleberries off his land. Dinner ends with Claire giving the evil “get yer boots off the table” look to Mctrollnomanners.

Mary Poppins effin says so!

Mary Poppins effin says so!

The next morning, trollbait found AHIan’s good tabbacky and was smoking it like he didn’t care.  I am pretty sure this guy was born in a barn – with no walls. Jamie pulled the shame card and trollfeatures decided to do what ANY 2 yr old with a tendency for pyromania would do. He set a big damn cart of hay on fire. WHATAPRICK!

shits on fire

So Jamie…of course…jack of all trades. Goes from being a laird, to a farrier to an ever lovin fireman in oh 2.3 seconds flat!firefighter

He puts out a fire, starts shaming troll features when the little fart face pulls a pistol on him. That’s ok, Jamie has ummmm…a HORSESHOE! He then proceeds to beat the crap outta 4  of them. Somehow ends up with the knife & pistol but ditches the horseshoe…I am sure a horse’ll need it more than him. Jamie Fraser just goes all Chuck Norris on their asses.  Teran watches Jamie…not at all bothered that he is bringing down his men one by one but impressed as all hell. Who wouldn’t be? As a side note…Who else loves the Yellin Fraser of Fightin Town? ARGH! GARGH! AH! GER! Very enjoyable indeed.

Taran tells his gang of douchbags to stand down…more like keep laying on the ground where their asses got tossed. He apologizes to Jamie & tells him he wants him to be a warrior for them.  Oh but our Jamie…he’s a lover not a fighter. Not that we have seen that part of him lately but all we have to do is close our eyes for a moment….remember…lover Jamie”  Yeah…then the grunting again. Shhhh…don’t judge.

lovernotafighter

Dammit as soon as he says he is settled down we have a visitor….HORROCKS!  You know the name. You can’t help saying it like you have a big gob of something stuck in the back of your throat that you gotta get out.

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. Yeah. Ummmm SHIT.  He pretends not to know Jamie. Jamie pretends not to know him but Taran…he ain’t no dummy.

For some stupid reason, the Watch is listening to Horrocks about a raid. *eyeroll* Ok…maybe he is a little bit of a dummy.

Jes a lil...smidge

Jes a lil…smidge

We have some bonding moments with Jenny & Claire. This episode has many of them. We start with them doing the laundry, chatting about the men- giving that all powerful line about AHIan guarding his chiefs weaker side-  when Jenny goes into labour.  Claire…now guarding Jenny’s. LOVED this!

Jenny’s baby is breech- all turned the wrong way so this is going to be a long go. This is time for Jenny & Claire to bond. Talk about Claire not being a mother yet, how that can happen by taking some of Grannie McNabb concoctions etc. Claire thinks AHIan should know about the babe being backwards but nope…Jenny will have none of it. Business as usual. Baby is coming and don’t you dare say anything else! YES’M! 

Time for Jamie to confront the SlimeyIrish, who just happens to be rifling through things that don’t belong to him. Nosey bugger. The scottish humidity sure has done nothing for buddies hair…he looks like a he got a bad perm…poof!  So we learn what Phlemsounds wants…he wants the monies! To travel to the colonies & adventures and to get his hair straightened. No one could expect to travel lookin like that could they?

humid

One of the most BEAUTIFULLY shot scenes in the whole show was the next one between Claire & Jenny.  First I laughed when Claire asked Jenny to tell her what it was like being pregnant –

dafuck

dafuck

Then, I was mesmerized with the both the visual shots & dialogue.  I read the book to my hubby, in which that passage made him snort. When Jenny said it he looked at me and said “Well there ya go then! For the record…I wanna go back in YOU…not MY MOM.” Point taken hun…and thanks for clarifying.didthat

 The beauty of the imagery takes the words and makes them her own. They don’t have to be how YOU feel about pregnancy…you feel Jenny’s connection to her body & to her men & that is something visceral.

Most.Gorgeous.Shot.Like.Ever...Ever.
Most.Gorgeous.Shot.Like.Ever…Ever.

So…no midwife coming to town. Nice! It’s going to be the Dr.Claire show! This is on you sister.  She lets Jenny know breech births are possible…only have to reach up inside and pull it out. THAT’S ALL! No BIGGY…I have small fingers.

Jenny says not without me pounding back some scotch first…Claire tells her baby will be drunk too…HA…then baby will come into the world a true scot. NICE! *snort* I love Jenny…if I haven’t made that perfectly apparent by now.

It’s time for AlwaysHappyIan to give Jamie a reality check of his own.  They are cleaning up after the fire…Now Jamie is playing janitor. Man of many trades. Ian tells him he’s has a ram up his arse or something to that effect.  Jamie is told he has 2 cheeks for a reason…turn one.  I say he has 4 cheeks…turn one and show 2! Come on, we are going through Jamie bum withdrawls. I can’t be the only one thinking it.  Jamie get’s his kilt in a wedgie because his BFF actually LIKES MacQuarrie! Come on Jamie…AlwayHappyIan, likes everyone that treats him like a MAN with something to offer…don’t be so damn selfish! Oh…and then there is this little part. Taran reminds AHIan…of…dun dun dun…YOU! Seriously Jamie – he protects your family from the redcoats. Pay one devil to keep the other away isn’t such a bad deal when you haven’t a decent bargain to make.

We can now consider Jamie’s head removed from his fine ass. Good ole AHIan. Gotta love ‘im and ya gotta trust ‘im.  Jamie tells him about Phlegminyourthroat bribing him.  AHIan says Jamie has money from being Laird he must use – he really doesn’t want to though. He can be a persistent bugger though.

The next scene is cut to one where you might as well just put your heart on the floor & step on it. Caitriona Balfe won’t say a whole lot but her face does and when it does…STOMP STOMP STOMP all over your wee heart she does her heart break dance. Seriously woman…where ever you learned to do that…it just ain’t right.

claire 1

Jamie tells her of AHIans suggestion of giving the monies over to the greasyIrishman but saying that money was meant for their children, to build & keep Lallybroch. Claire’s face…shatters – along with our hearts.

She tells Jamie she doesn’t think she can have his babies and her face does the dance of breaking our hearts…his face crackles but only for a quickie so she doesn’t notice. When he mentions “Franks” name I think its about as cold I have ever heard his voice get – like a cold wind blowing through the door.

Claire didn’t count on loving him or having his babies…this is tearing her guts out and in turn ours. He swoops in to save the day. AGAIN. Saying it probably is for the best as he can bear his own pain but he could not bear her pain *sigh*

drowning

These constant drownings keep up I might need to watch this show wearing a lifejacket

Off to meet to villain who is having the bad hair day…good thing he is wearing a hat.  Jamie tries to pay him off but the dumb shit wont stop yammering. He tries to extort MORE from him. Big mistake irish…yap yap yap telling my life story yap yap yap you should raise taxes & be tougher yap yap yap… Imma threaten your family…ummm is something pokin me… STAB! AlwaysHappyIan turned into GetHimFromBehindIan.

Created by ABOtlander Sherri Gamblin

Dude totally deserved it. Jamie & Ian back together again. He’s a lil shaky about things though. Couldn’t put his sword in the hole. Bet he doesn’t have that problem with Jenny.

Jamie tries to calm Ian down with a “Remember when we were kids” chat at we talked about going to hell. That was fun right? Jamie you can’t go to hell alone…Ian has to make sure you don’t muck that up too.

Jenny is having a hell of a day. That little Fraser is a stubborn poke. She is at the point now where she thinks “Yup…gonna die. This wee bugger is gonna kill me”  Do the stuff I was supposed to do. Grab that wooden snake I found that Willie made for Jamie, give it to him for me Claire… cuz I’m gonna die like my mom did! It’s all down here from here.

The men wait downstairs & make rude comments, if AHIan coulda kicked him, I think he would have.  Taran made nice and paid for the hay they burned…also mentioned Horrocks…dundundun! He know’s somethings up so the next morning, he does a little math

Created by ABOotlander Sherri Gamblin

The New Alberta Math…hard for the big people. Ask Wee Jamie – he will understand

This is the new math that is easy for kids but all us adults are screwin up. Answer is simple…ya killed him!  Jamie sets him straight.

Lemme eat my bread like no big deal and tell you the tale – Price on my head – bad hair knew – put a knife in him. 

yes...I know....sliced bread...shhh..it's a wee joke

yes…I know….sliced bread…shhh

GOOD! He says. That hair was making me crazy…was gonna cut it myself. Now you you have to go in his place on our little raid that the person NO ONE trusted arranged. HOW DOES NO ONE SEE THIS IS A BAD IDEA??? Oh right…TV. 

Jamie & Claire’s goodbye is…tender & full of love. She gives him Sawny the snake…not the other way around for a change.  You can see the emotion pass over Jamie’s face.  Claire threatens if he doesn’t come back she will drag him back by his thick red curls…yeah…sunnuva!  They had to go and slow mo that walk away didn’t they??? DIDN’T THEY??? ARGH! They did that to us once before…remember?  Not cool.

internally screaming

Taran n Jamie have a man to man chat in the rain on the way to the raid. Jamie sees Taran for what he is – he sees himself as a free man – more or less, more of a robin hood than an evil henchman. It is all about perspective. Being ruled or ruling. He invites Jamie into their ranks but Jamie having Claire – he sees no choice but to say no, even though he sees why one would want to. Especially being on the run. Taran surprises us all when swears he wouldn’t turn him over to the British…he might shoot him first but nope… but wouldn’t turn him over.

Yes! Wait..what?

Yes! Wait..what?

Jenny is in the midst of damn you’s, gonna dies & cursing & screaming….its close & girlfriend is really doing the birthing scene justice as the men ride into where the ambush is supposed to be….you can see the thoughts crossing Jamie’s face….perfect spot for an…ambush…FUCK!  You can’t get out of here….RUN! Too Late! TOO…DAMNED…LATE!

REDCOATS everywhere. Firing on them. Sunnuvahorrocks!

emor

A wee lass was born. Maggie… Proof that Jenny is NOT always right, but let’s not rub that in too much. She probably is hormonal. Jenny gives Claire the tusk bracelets her mother Ellen was given by an admirer. Tall & queenly she calls Claire. Another compliment.  I love this moment between them. Claire gives her a kiss, some say it made Jenny uncomfortable, I think it make Jenny’s heart light up. A sister. Their moment.

3 days have gone by at Lallybroch and no word of the men…until the Lallybroch alarm goes off – hounds!

AHIan comes hobbling against another…arm in a sling and lookin beat to hell.He lost his horse, his leg & no doubt some pride but at least he brought home news of his bro. Naturally Jamie wouldn’t leave a wounded man behind. Taran got hurt and Jamie being Jamie…*sigh*… the Redcoats got him. AGAIN!

For reals...they have him...AGAIN.

For reals…they have him…AGAIN.

Without a break we are going straight into searching for the redheaded bugger! This is what I call a 2-fer – The Search

Now, I always enjoy the opening sequences in the show…but this marionette show was by far my FAVOURITE!  I mean really?  The fearies? The Stones? Claire….then POOF…she is gone. COME ON….Brilliance…beautiful. It gets us set up for the whimsy that is introduced in this episode and believe me – with for what is to come in future episodes…WE NEED THIS!

The episode starts straight into the heart of Lallybroch where all hell is breaking loose. Claire is getting ready to go find Jamie, AHIan thinks he is going to go…uh-huh sure… Claire being Captain Obvious points out Dude…you have no leg. He thinks she needs men to go and she is like “Nu-uh! No men! Just me! Draw me a map and make yourself useful”  Jenny is running around looking pretty purposeful but no one is taking notice of her. Girlfriend is on a mission!

Claire is all horsed up & ready to go and out comes 2 pistol packin Jenny, all raring to go. No arguments, she is coming…she can track…Claire can’t, she will shut her damn pie hole. Jenny has not only the spirit of iron…she also has the vulva of iron as well! DAMN GIRL! You just had yourself a baby now your hoppin on a horse.  Jenny continues to impress me. IronginaJenny! You GO GIRL!

Jenny Murray is so hard core she makes my vulva hurt just thinking about what she's done!

Jenny Murray is so hard core she makes my vulva hurt just thinking about what she’s done!

She shakes Claire out of her internal dialogue and they set off on their way like Cagney & Lacey through the wilds of Scotland to track down Jamie.

They do some more advertising for Tour Scotland. It is not possible to do those scenic shots and NOT want to visit. Jenny shows her prowess as a tracker, fingers in horse tracks, watching smoke, pickin up poop…this girl is GOOD. She finds where the ambush happened pretty quickly. Crows pecking out the eyes of the dead…that’s always appetizing. Lunch anyone?

nom-nom-o

Mmmmm….Eyeballs….tastytreats!

IronginaJenny says a prayer over the dead men and then does a quick recce of the area. She figures out where they are headed, that they have a big heavy cart – Claire fills in “hopefully its heavy cuz of the large red headed scot weighing it down” HURMPH!

These two alone tracking, the music…reminded me of the Littlest Hobo only way better.

I mean really…It just wouldnt go away 

Get’s me *sniff*  Every time *sniff*

Now…ladies & gentlemen…at this point in time I will be talking about the FULL episode. Not the accidently aired edited version that caused such a strammach in Canada on Sunday.  You might have heard.  Canada has 2 versions of Outlander.  One that is aired before 9 pm EST with all “adult content” censored out. This includes varying degrees of nudity, violence, choice language etc. Then we have the one aired after 9 pm EST…nothing cut.  It turns out – this past Sunday there was an error made and the daytime edit was played and hell was born down on Showcase.  You see, Sunday was also Mother’s Day so, for all the times breasts had been shown in all their sexual glory, the one time in the show they were being shown in their functional motherly glory…dun dun dun…censored. There is a WHOLE damn blog I could write about that, but I won’t because well, I am going to give Showcase the opportunity to adjust that. We shall see what comes of it.

roll-up-the-rim

You got another chance Showcase. Let’s see what you got.

The scene itself was SO FRIGGEN COOL!  I don’t doubt it has been seen before but yet again Outlander is ahead of the curve & making history on television by embracing Diana Gabaldon’s words and making them dance in front of our eyes. Releasing that milk, the sound of relief IronginaJenny was making. Made my own boobs start letting down and folks…these suckers havent nursed a babe in 15 years!  Ok..I was probably letting down powdered milk…but that shows ya. GOOD JOB! By missing this scene, my Canadian friends missed out on the conversation of Claire’s plans on trying to get Jamie back… while Jenny expressed her milk. If I heard one more person say “she milked herself” I was seriously going to start throat punching!  She is a woman…not a cow.  Terminology counts here.  As a woman who used to nurse, watching that milk get chucked…you go…NO!!! At the same time – yeah…where the hell would she put it?

On the road again….

Time to get serious, Warm poop, soldiers voices, hauling out the pistols…these girls are on fire!

do this shit

They scope out the soldiers, see Taran but no Jamie. Spot a messenger heading off alone. this is their chance. Head him off & they will have him.

Jenny pretends to faint in front of his horse & instead of being smart and riding right over her…nope…big ole dummy stopped and set upon.

escalated

Got his English arse tied to a fallen log.  Jenny & Claire playing good cop – bad cop all over the place & he couldn’t even pretend to be decent about it. Calling them harlots & sluts.  That’s a sure fire way of getting untied eh?

Jenny is right evil when she wants to be…instead of cleaning her gun, she uses the cleaning rod as a hot poker…this should get his attention & either Claire doesn’t like the smell of this guys feet or the whole idea is distasteful to her…the look on her face is pure disgust.

Jenny gives him a kick in the arse for good measure. Have I mentioned…I really like Jenny?  If he hasn’t figured out Jenny means business, Claire is trying to make that clear to him. His feet are getting branded and he doesn’t say anything and Claire is not enjoying things over much.  Jenny then threatens to smoke his balls…he gets a bit more animated & begs them – balls seem to get attention & he tells them he is only a courier! *DING DING DING*

winn

Claire realizing if he is a courier maybe he carries word of Jamie. Read his stuff!  The dork…the english with his feet branded and his balls about to be crispyfried orders THEM not to break the seal on the dispatches in the bag.  I am afraid you are the one at a disadvantage here dude…tied to a log, ass up with a girl, hot poker in her hand & all. I’d shut my gob if I were you. He knows he is up shit creek with no paddle now.

Shit_Creek

If only this place was handy…shame that

All they needed was in those dispatches. Jamie escaped! The dispatches said they needed soldiers to go look for him because they were headed somewhere else. Soooooo, if they didn’t get the dispatches…TADA…the girls would be the only ones looking. Destroy the dispatches and you are ready to rock & roll.

They figure Jamie is heading North. Then Claire suddenly moves to fix up the soldier’s foot…ummmm wha? No…dude has to die Jenny says. They have a wee battle of the wills over this. Jenny gives it to her straight…hell girl, he even heard where Jamie probably is going. There is NO way they can let him live. Claire…your instinct is to heal – Jenny’s instinct is to protect…together these will melt together soon. Like cheese n gravy.

Poutine

Ummmm whats that noise? Sounds like buddy is choking on something…oh….wait…he kinda is.  It’s his own blood. Hi Murtagh “knows how to make an entrance” Fraser.  When he isn’t knockin’ you out cold…he will just slice your throat for you.  He saved the lassies from the soul stealing work. Thanks buddy. We owe you a solid!

Jenny lets Claire know that her protection mode comes from love & she will bare it soon enough, in so many words.  Claire agrees saying she would have killed him if Murtagh didn’t.  It bothers her to know it’s true, that’s why she looks troubled but she is moving into that part of herself.

The ladies share more moments in the dark over the fire. These are moments Jenny & Claire become sisters of the heart.  Jenny isn’t the sharing type so when she shares stories of Jamie, Ian & herself as children it is her way of inviting Claire into her past…which means she has opened the door to her present.

Murtagh shows up with supper for them…I guess they are going to still owe him a solid – he tries to pass off the duck it looks like for them to clean & they give him the “You broke it, you bought it” look.

ewwww

Actually, we are used to cleaning the things but…you caught it…you clean it!

The next morn. It is time for Jenny to take her leave, Maggie needs her mom, and vise versa. She gives Claire the Quarter Day rents & AHIans lil knife.  It was time for Claire to tell Jenny the things she needed to prepare for – you know…cuz of Culloden & what would happen in the highlands. Damn it if my gut didn’t twist in the memory of reading this one.  Another moment that the pages of the book reach up and smack you in the whole face!

It's. All. Right. There.
It’s. All. Right. There.

Claire spills her guts to Jenny. Potatoes, famines, war, slaughter, land, gold, oh my! Jamie said you would tell me stuff – I’ll do it good sister! PHEW! Good ole forethinking Jamie saves the damn day and he isn’t even there.

Irongina Jenny rides off & we are left with the Army of Two.

Murtagh has a plan, as frustrating as he can be to Claire, it’s not to be “finding” Jamie.  Jamie will be finding them.  He brought Claire’s medicines with him, he wants her to stand out as a healer in the towns. He would dance..oh Murtagh to see you all DancyPrancy with a scowl on your face. I am not sure but I am willing to bet he doesn’t do weddings or funerals, damn sure he won’t do kids birthday parties. Doesn’t seem like a short people lover.

dancypracy

Broke my heart to see those peasants throwing food at the ole grumplestiltskin. Claire also attempted to tell fortunes whilst on the road. Both of them looking to garner information about whether Jamie had been in town. Only making women HOPE he was.

DancyPrancyMurtagh really thought he was good. Truth was, Duncan Lacroix got very good and had to pretend he was bad. What a waste eh? I’d have loved to see Murtagh really get jiggy with it.

The marionettes on stage again 🙂 Claire & her fearies. I love when I catch stuff…makes me feel all warm n bubbly. Hmmmm…maybe it was just too much pop.

rumbly

Claire has an idea for Murtaghs dancing, perhaps he could sing too? Good plan? How about a tune like 

Murtagh LOVES the idea but NOT him singing it and thinks…scottish…make it a scottish song…same tune…scottish words…get a new outfit on her and TADA! There is an ACT!

The Sassenach will get some attention! The banter between Murtagh & Claire was priceless “Stop quoting the bible – it doesn’t suit you!” BURN!

Murtagh throws her up on stage and the other thing that got cut in the daytime episode was Claire uttering a “Oh Fuck” on stage. It was priceless.

https://i2.wp.com/1158060741240391f9c7-7fe731c1f5e1a4e1d980b4b6220a14b8.r64.cf2.rackcdn.com/gifhi151.gif

What she said…

The way Claire looks down at her wedding ring from Jamie before she gets into the swing of the song…made my gut turn…just a bit. He’s with her, always. 

making us feel

Always with the feels!

She however went on village to village singing, dancing dressed as a laddie singing her heart out. Hoping that Jamie was hearing of the Sassenach singing the song that Dougal used to sing when he got too far into the drink.

You can see…some dirty gypsies were studying Claire & Murtagh as they travel village to croft. I enjoyed the whimsy, music & the way they shot the episode.  Not always hearing Claire sing, but seeing her, watching them traveling, seeing Murtagh dance, chatting w villagers, though the responses we “Nope…big red headed fella…ain’t seen him.”

They come upon a small camp where they hear music & see performers …ummmm….DOPPLEGANGERS! Oh.. it’s those damned gypsies! Doing a sword dance…ummm…a good one – don’t tell Murtagh I said that, and singing Claire’s song. The girl is being dirty nasty in her dancing too…mmmmmmm. Claire ain’t happy! Mr. Ward – the gypsy man…his voice reminded me of Geillis! SingSongy and musical but I didn’t like him near as much!

Claire & Murtagh demanded they stop singing their song, she even went so far as to pay them…Claire Claire Claire. She took his word he wouldn’t perform it…but we all know he will because now he has more money & a great song.

That just wasn't smart. Nope. Not smart.

That just wasn’t smart. Nope. Not smart.

Murtagh is pissed. As I think he should be, he knows the gypsies for what they are. Cheats. He tells Claire, Jamie won’t know what song to follow now and she ought to go home, he will just follow the gypsies.  Claire…she throws the WIFE card. 

Claire done pulled rank. Wife beats GodFather like Rock beats Scissors
Claire done pulled rank. Wife beats GodFather like Rock beats Scissors

More singing, dancing, traveling until they seem to have come to the edge of the world.

One dark night, Murtagh finally goes into snapmode. Saying he was stupid for following after her, she is stubborn & listens to no one blah blah. You know, I think he is realizing just how much she is like Jamie…thus like Ellen and it is tearing his guts out…

Claire went an opened a can of she doesn’t know what the hell –  by saying to Murtagh “…because you’ve never lost someone you loved!” Ummmmmm….NO? You don’t think so eh? Let me TELL YOU something! He told us all right…he told us. All about the lassie who stole his heart and never returned it.

Sorry, don't need your heart, here you go.

Sorry, don’t need your heart, it was sent Canada Post and never seen again.

He shared how he killed a bore – was gifted the tusks & made bracelets for this love of his, gave them to her for a wedding present…even though he knew he would never have her. Naturally, Claire clued in that the love he lost was Ellen, Jamie’s Mom, and showed him that she had the tusk bracelets. Murtagh proclaimed his love for Jamie – saying he is like a son to him.

Here…have some.

Or I will keep the kleenex...just for me

Or I will keep the kleenex…just for me

If you didn’t need some kleenex right there.  I am afraid you will need to stop at the nearest medi-center. Someone has turned off your heart.

The next day, the plan is to wash, rinse, repeat. Start all over again. Murtagh lets Claire know…they will manage. Together. Stopped at a tavern, Gypsy lips Mr. Ward stops with a message. First he was going to extort them for it, then somehow he found a bit of decency, I think it was more Murtagh scaring a little bit of the poop out of him than anything, I did not take a shine to the guy. Personal filters ya all. *wink* I have something against lying cheaters. Silly me. Call it Daddy Issues.

The message is to go to Glen something or another Cross real fast like, they think it must be Jamie so off they go. She kisses the little weasel. ICK…hope she didn’t catch something.

They get to a super awesome cave of sorts…calling for Jamie…and dun dun dun…with the sidiest eye of all side eyes.

sideeye

Dougal. SO psyched to see Graham MacTavish back but MAN….they brought him back douchier than ever!

He let’s them know that Jamie is alive but doesn’t let that bit of good news fester long. He let’s them know their song sure worked, Jamie met 6 redcoats on a road, one recognized him and off to Wentworth he went. Stood trial and is sentenced to hang. Not sure when though!

GOTTA GO Claire says! Not so fast Dougal says…it’s chat time with Uncle Dougal Mc Doucherson. Murtagh wasn’t to keen but for some reason Claire says ok…

Dougal tells her you need to let Jamie go and marry me!  Ummm…Jamie ain’t dead you wanker! Dougal is traveling between Arseton & Doucheville…might even be detoured to Prickski.

arseton

He keeps on trying to convince her that the only way to keep Lallybroch safe…OOOPS!  Claire understands now, its about the land…#facepalm.

She wont give up on Jamie…nope…I want your men to help me get Jamie out of there.  You a chicken shit Dougal? Huh? Claire still wants to save Jamie but says FINE I’ll marry you jerkface ONLY if I can’t Jamie out if I fail at getting him out or he’s dead…she’ll marry him. ARGH!

Not the best deal ever, but a deal

Not the best deal ever, but a deal

She can take any men that say they will go but Dougal isn’t going to tell them…

The next scene, Claire begs the guys to help but sure they don’t want to go into Wentworth to save Jamie. Scared.  Except….PoopinWillie! He is the first to stand up. That’s right.  The youngest… well he just went and shamed Angus & Rupert didn’t he? They will not be shown up by lil Willie. They will be going too! Damn straight they will.

No words needed.

No words needed.

Wentworth vs. 5  This should be interesting.  Let me suggest you get the following things ready for next Sunday.

1) Ativan for anxiety, you know, just in case. 2) Screw the kleenex, grab a towel. This will serve 2 purposes. To cover your eyes if needed and to catch any tears & or snot you release due to tears. 3) Booze. If you drink Just do it. Whatever your liquid evil is, make sure you have 2 bottles on hand. One for during the show – one for after. I have heard things.  4) Your remote. If things get too much in viewing through your personal filter. Turn off the TV. No one is making you watch the show. 5) Someone to love. Friend, family, fur baby…it’s always nice if you can have someone to hold onto. A pillow will do in a pinch. 6) Whatever device you choose to livetweet with. This might be a good idea for you. Humour will be hard to find but I promise we will do our best to lighten things up for you. It’s our job.

Catch us on the flip side #OutlanderCAN Sundays 8 pm MST.

SL feeling like an old Cootlander but nope ABOotlander- strong n free!

La- La- Lallybroch all the way home!

A dozen. Can you believe we have made it to a dozen episodes already? What started out as a glisten in our eyes.  Damn, time flies when you are a manic obsessive eh?

The Lallybroch episode opens focusing in on puppies. FOOLED YA! Not the puppies you are used to focusing on at the beginning of the show. Not this time. Still they are adorable! There was that Showcase Nudity Expectation…they call it a warning, I call it a shout out of show benefitsadultcontentThere goes that digression again.

If anyone doesn’t have an insatiable urge to travel to Scotland simply by watching the aerial shots the show features…I think you are dead inside. DEAD. Tourism Scotland should pay Diana Gabaldon & all of the Outlander Starz a royalty. I mean…REALLY.

kimberleeonlinetakemymoney

We are travelling to Lallybroch at mach speeds, that is what we are doing. Jamie is taking NO chances that Claire is going to change her mind. Those friggen airplane flying things she is talking about sound so chill- she probably told him about running water & not having to bury your own poop too. He’s getting her the hell outta stonehedge as fast as Donas can take them.

I know, I know…looks like a slow freaking trot but honestly. It didn’t take that long to get there did it? Work with me people.

Marriage, facetime & all sorts of personal goodtimes later Jamie finds out Claire is robbing the cradle. A good ole SILF. She’s no one’s mother…just a regular ole Sassenach. It’s all good, it’s only a few years, plus girlfriend is VERRA well put together for someone 200 and some yrs older than he is. He could do laoghaire much worse. She has all her own teeth & hardly a pock mark to speak off- except that freaky deaky devilly one on her arm…shhhhh.

shhhh
Shhhhh. Between you n me.

They get to the arriving stages and when Jamie is supposed to be getting happy. The demons of memory start seeping in. He tells Claire he was told rumours about Jenny…uh-huh. Rumours. I think ANY of us could help Jamie our with the rumour department. If you didn’t see it with your own damn eyes or hear it with your own damn ears shut your own big mouth. Or something to that effect eh?

*Rumours - we can tell they travel faster because he heard Jenny was pregnant cuz of Randall but he heard nothing about her marrying Ian. Which wasn't a rumour...it was TRUE. Stupid rumoUrs. PFT!

*Rumours – we can tell they travel faster because he heard Jenny was pregnant cuz of Randall but he heard nothing about her marrying Ian. Which wasn’t a rumour…it was TRUE. Stupid rumoUrs. PFT!

Jamie, as manly as he looks in or out of a kilt or in or out of trews…he still has a lot to learn about being a man…this is where the lessons will start.

I loved the arrival shot…even though I wanted to tell Donas to go home…he looked drunk…boppin into Jamie, then I thought “Hey, if he was walking me like that, I’d bop into him too. You go Donas!”

bigbutts

Just a lil earworm to start your day

“Jamie” A very pregnant Jenny says. A wee lil mite looks up and a big ole red heided man looks over.

She drops, what I hope is dirty laundry…cuz if that was clean…BUGGER…doing laundry back then took too much work to just drop it in the door yard!

god-damnit-o
You are going to have to do all that laundry again. That…man…that’s rough.

 She holds in her baby belly to run into her brothers arms to give him a big hug. Then as quick as the happy homecoming lasts. It’s pretty much over. She chastises him for not texting, sending an email or snap chatting. Rude man. Would have taken just a minute…okay probably would have taken a couple weeks/months to send a messenger. Still RUDE. You deserved that.

little-boy-and-little-girl-o

Then she happily introduces that cute little wee man Jamie to his Uncle. Now because Big Jamie was stupid enough to listen to rumours (remember what happens when you do that people) he jumps on the conclusion bridge and falls through the slats. He makes an ass of himself asking why she would name Randalls bastard after him. DOH!  Jenny doesn’t mince many words…insinuating she is a hoooor? Bad moove dude. GAD…I love it when they bandy about the word hooooor.

Claire tries to get Jamie to see some reason but that’s not gonna go over because a) he’s a stubborn pig headed FRASER b) Jenny called her a trollop.  No worries. I am pretty sure Claire knows a pissy Fraser when she sees one. She takes a step back and lets the rams battle it out a bit.  sibling

Jenny threatens to grab Jamie by the ballocks to make him listen, just like she did when they were younger. So- for all those that said Jenny seemed harsher in the show than the books. You might remember – this passage is FROM the books. Only in the show, Jamie isn’t actually wearing his kilt, he is wearing his trews so they didn’t have her go as fast as a snake and grab his balls…like she did in the book.

Go back in time and tell me THE Jenny that ACTUALLY grabbed his balls & squeezed “wasn’t as harsh” *giggle*.  Truth is, when you are faced with a woman of strength, power & un-shakability. It is stark. Real.  That’s what Laura Donnolly did. 3 cheers girlfriend, you grabbed Jenny “takes no shit from nobody” Fraser Murray by the balls and ran with her. Well done.

Jamie is scandalized she should say such a thing in front of his wife. PSHAW Jamie…she knows all about your balls by now Jenny says. Don’t be such a ninny. Point taken. Claire does…really really does.

Jenny tries to remind him the last time she saw him he wasn’t exactly in the best of condition so how about he change his attitude. Then Ian rounds the corner & sets him straight. Those babies are mine – yep- your Brother in Law & btw…we thought you were dead. Maybe if you only wrote once in a while this whole big mess might have been taken care of.

I get it, the price on your head. Shame how things like that get in the way. It’s all comes down to effective communication folks!

Ya think?
Ya think?

A wee side note…those who have a difficulty warming up to Jenny…thinking she is like sharp glass. Those who see certain women in their lives like this. Are looking at Jenny with their personal experience filter. They may very well be intimidated by those women or dislike them & are attaching those feelings to Jenny. They might not see that but it’s one of those things many of us do without ever realizing it. Sometimes, it is even the traits in ourselves we don’t like…and we see them reflected in those characters. Well, we can outwardly hate them way easier than we can hate ourselves…huh?

right
That’s right…I said it.

Always a Hoppy Guy Ian welcomes Jamie with open arms – Claire too.  Jamie is about to say I am—sorry—but Jenny decides it madlibs time and she finishes his sentence with “a damn fool” and some other unflattering stuff.

pl1m8K2

Back into the house for the understatement of the 18th century.  HoppyGuyIan asks Claire “Do y’drink whisky?” She replies “I’ve been known to have a glass or two.” Let’s finish your sentence for you Claire…since you clearly didn’t. “before breakfast.” or “with another 5 glasses of whisky.” or “added to pocket flask to get through every conversation I have ever had.” HoppyGuyIan gives her his seal of approval & lets her know to prep her liver. It’s going to be a meter checking kinda night.

liver

Jamie glutton for punishment that he is, has this NEED…even though he has been experiencing flash backs.  You see he seems prone to PTSD.  Jamie just has to hear what Captain Creep Master General Randall did to his sister while he was passed out hanging in the yard .  She is only gonna tell you once buddy so you best clean the shit outta your ears and listen good!

This is not just a story, it’s a pop up book…well…not quite. We will get to that.

Captain Creep turns up his level of creep factor to oh…about 942 in this scene. Takes her hand like he is Creepy Uncle Dick leading her to get ice cream in the alley behind Target. You know the one they boarded up last week. Yeah. That one. Then roots her up against the wall. He starts sniffin at her – it’s his way of smelling his prey I think.smellfear

Checking out their fear level. Jenny is doing pretty good though.  It wasn’t bad enough that he cleaned her face in the yard earlier with his nasty fingers, now, he is sticking his damned filthy feelers into her mouth. Those things were sooooo foul that I gagged – and I am not a gagger. Usually. Tobias – you done made me ’bout woof my cookies!

Whomp...there it is
Whomp…there it is

Jenny- She is a no bullshit kinda girl & the taste of those pointers did nothing to improve her attitude, neither did him grabbing her breast like it was bread that needed kneading or having her give him a grope. After making her look at him –  she reached over for a big ole candlestick and bashed him in the head.

Let’s just say Captain Creepy had one hard head that day because it barely phased him! He swung her around & threw her to the ground, figured some pottery would be a nice touch – then up by the hair. This piece of human crap waste sure likes swinging girls around by the hair. Makes my scalp hurt for Jenny! One day…one day…I want someone to grab HIM by that ponytail of his and play the longest game of Tetherball known to man. Just a wee idea!

He tosses her into the next room by the hair & then smacks her. Thinking…that ought to take care of that. Time to get down to business.

Captain Creepy removes his coat, unbuttons his flies & invites Lil Captain Phallus Jr. to the proceedings. Hi there buddy…it just doesn’t seem to be your day. No one is screaming in pain or terror…that’s what you like huh? Awwww…too bad. Is that why your hiding?  Jenny see’s this and well, you know, warbled as it was. She laughed. That can’t be good for the little guy…seems he got REALLY embarrassed, said “No way Jack…I ain’t going out there…THEY ARE LAUGHIN at me!”

bjr

You HAVE to admire Tobias Menzies for committing to this scene the way he did. I mean…he COMPLETELY committed. This was no penis stunt double.  That scene tore down BJR like NO other scene ever could.  It simply couldn’t be “shown” with him “rubbing” at his breeches. The humiliation, the mortification. Jenny’s visual standpoint wouldn’t have been effective had we not known what she had seen, what she & he had both experienced.  People have said “I could imagine it, I did HAVE to see THAT” Could you though?  Could you really?  The dynamic…the nature of that is visceral. Visceral is not always comfortable but its not because it’s genitalia. It’s because it brings you somewhere you might not want to go. Face it, a flaccid penis is not threatening, it’s a part of the human body. It really has the same visual appeal as perhaps…ummm a big toe.  Tobias’—well,  a pretty big toe but – there I go with the digression thing again.

Plus, I am all about equal opportunity nudity.  The body is the body. It’s a part of who we are. The more we hide it and make it shameful the worse society makes people feel for having one. I think that stinks. It’s the reason that using the word penis and seeing a penis becomes some sort of “thing”.  Some said, the penis wasn’t the big deal, it was the “handling” of the penis. I wonder why? I wasn’t supposed to make you comfortable. THAT was the point. A common remark was “I couldn’t do it.”  That’s ok.  It wasn’t you doing it. It was Tobias, in the “role” of BJR, for the part, in the moment.  You aren’t do it for any reason. Take the YOU out of it. Look at it in the perspective it was intended & the why. Take away the negative power the negative hold that has been put into our brains over the years, decades…and TADA. Positive Penis Praise Prevails! – ahem- and yes…I have a vagina. *gasp*

gasp

Now, back to the show. Captain Creepy knows this laughter thing is keeping Lil FlaccidNoodle Jr. from enjoying the job at hand so he figures if he shuts her up by making her turn around and smacking her around…that will cure her for sure.  Nope. Jenny has gone full on banshee by now.  She recalls to those listening, she isn’t exactly sure why…but she could tell both Captain Creepy Sr. & Captain Creepy Jr. didn’t like it when she laughed so she was going to keep that shit up.  She could take a smack but as long as Jr. was flimsy he couldn’t do the job…so LAUGH she would.

hyena-laugh-o

I heard in more than a few articles suggesting Randall wanted her to turn around because he was a homosexual & needed pretend she was a man.  They gathered this after he vied for Jamie (later in the episode).  I have talked to many people who clearly know a little something about homosexuality- seeing how they are…they tell me it’s REALLY hard to pretend a woman is anything but a woman regardless of what hole you are penetrating…let’s not insult them to that degree. SO – I disagree with that particular viewpoint…BJR…has a taste for ANYONE he can terrify. Male or female. As Tuesday, April 28, 2015

” target=”_blank”>Diana Gabaldon as perfectly stated MANY times, BJR is an equally opportunity sadist. He wanted Jenny to turn around so she couldn’t watch his humiliation. Period. He can get aroused by anyone – that he is scaring the crap out of or controlling to his will. Period.  Jenny done screwed over his method of gettin some.

oh no you didnt

Just to make sure he made more friends. He called her a scottish see you next Tuesday and bashed her head off the bedpost. Boy oh boy Captain Creepy! You sure are rackin up the “Degenerate of the Month” points. He stuffed nerveless Jr. back in his pants & they left. Humiliated.

patricks-underwear-o

People found that hard to believe.  Not me.  In my minds eye, there is no way he was going to be able to perform with the last vision of that face being mockery. Better he get the hell out of dodge, letting his men think he done tapped that.

Back to the drawing room. Jenny wanted an apology, Jamie figured he gave her one. Men, do that. Think they apologize when they don’t. Claire had Jenny’s back and corrected him. Now, some think Jenny was being rude to Claire here by saying “This is between my brother & me”  I saw it as her standing up for Jamie. Cool eh? We see things from our perspective- our filters. I have big sisters who push my buttons & stand up for me. Jamie is like “Geez Claire! There ya go again…c’mon… since I can’t spank ya, I’m going to give you a tongue lashin’ and not the kind you like.”

So off to another room they go so he can remind her. He’s the king of the castle & she’s needs to be his queen. At least in public. Remember Leticia? Colum’s wife? She always held her tongue in public, he tells her. She would throw shit at the old codger in private but in public…she supported him. So there’s a visual. Leticia whipping things across the room at a cripple. Tsk Tsk. Classy girlfriend.

Claire tells Jamie he better be careful and smarten up a bit because she can assure him, she has better aim than Leticia ever did.

amen
Claire will drink to a good throwing arm. Hitting her target. Not being meek. Hell…Claire will drink to just about anything.

HoppyGuy Ian breaks the silence, always the sweety. Asking Claire where she is from- doesn’t really matter though does it. This is home she says.

Home Sweet Home
Home Sweet Home

Jenny is a bit taken aback. Home is it? Been gone 4 yrs. Outlawed and PLUNK back down with a wife & taking over my house. That’s a bit intrusive. What about that thing called a price on your big thick head?  Ah, yet ANOTHER Englishman is going to pull me out of the fire. Hmrph…Jenny “take no flack from anyone especially the English” Murray doesn’t trust this much. Why should she, they tied up her brother in front of her eyes, dragged her up into her room & attempted to rape her. Pretty sure there would be no love loss there for anyone. She is the big sister…see’s yet another button un-pushed on her big brother and gives it a go. “Never thought you’d be so trustin’ of the English.”

pushbutton

Oh Jamie you have SO many buttons to push brother!

I think Claire knows where this is coming from and instead of taking it as too much of a dig, she chooses to leave the room & wash up than to start another English/Scottish war.  If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

Choose-a-communication-strategy-Tina-Fey-zip-it

Mrs. Fitzgibbons sent Jamie & Claire their things. Sweet lady. Jenny, for all of those who were growling about her being bitchy- bah! She says right about here that since the Laird is staying, he should have the main bed chamber & sends the maids to take care of things.  She doesn’t seem put out, annoyed or bothered. Ian, in fact looks humoured by the whole deal.  Jamie confirms…Yep… I am Laird. Some thought that was arrogant. Perhaps stating the obvious may be a trifle redundant in the moment but sometimes saying things out loud makes it easier for us to accept…doesn’t it? Especially when we are having a hard time believing it ourselves.

So Molly Maid ripped through the Lairds quarters & got rid of Jenny & Ian’s personal belonging making room for Jamie & Claire to take over residence. Now, it’s time for some walks down memory lane.  Claire, do you see…all the blue? Your new home, room…blue. All the pottery, vases…blue. You didn’t need to buy that vase in episode one did you? You are surrounded by them now…and later…well. FLUTTER!

vases

Jamie tells Claire stories of his father. Bringing Brian Fraser to life for us. Who was played by Andy Whipp. Another fantasticalamazaball casting choice. He was on the screen for moments. He came to life in some dialogue in which Jamie talked about his books, boots n blade.

We get to “meet” Brian. In Fort William as Jamie speaks of him. We got a sneak peek at him – those of us that were hound dogs looking for him in “The Garrison” episode. This time – in this flashback. Jamie brings him to before our eyes & Andy Whipp brings him to life.  They look a like, the lilt of of their accents. Damn fine casting.

I can see it...can you?

I can see it…can you?

The way he commands the guards with compassion & dignity. Not groveling. The way he tells Jamie he will stand by him. This father in this time isn’t ashamed to love his son & kisses his cheek. “Y’er a braw lad son!” Major sigh. Reminding your boy to be strong in the face of everything. Yes. Brian Fraser made me love him in about 10 seconds flat. Frogs n arseholes he made me love him!

Then we have to face off against HIM. Again. Ugh. Captain Creep Master General. Sitting there idly writing letters. Probably to his only friends.

dear s&m

Rambling on to Jamie how his Dad couldn’t possibly get his pardon letter and be back on time, but he had a GREAT idea on how he could get out of getting flogged again.

There were two menu choices. 1. Buggery. No butter. 2. Floggery. With Extra Hate on the side.  Geez Jamie. What’s it going to be? You know…Jamie could live without butter he is thinking. CCMG said he would let him go. Suuuuuuuure, he’d let you go alright. Straight to a grave. I think he would have on’d him, then off’d him.

With the feeling of his father’s kiss still wet upon his cheek he is thinking, there is no way he could let his father down like that. Not so much the  buggery.It’s the whole-letting that man “the chair doesn’t even want sitting on it” break his will.

douchechair

Like Jamie doesn’t know how much a second flogging is going to hurt. The big meany pokes him right in the stripes. Not a here’s a wee FB poke to make your day but a remember this? This hurts dunnit?

pokeme

Then, we get to see the flogging AGAIN. GLARF! Like it wasn’t bad enough the first time. Brian has to be there. Seeing it, then dropping. The aneurysm takes him. We knew Brian for moments. Yet when he falls to the ground, he takes my heart down with him. WHY, BRIAN WHY???

cry

Jamie regrets it all. Not seeing his Dad die. Well, we saw it. It was horrible. Didn’t see him taken away, buried & hasn’t seen his grave. Putting off the tough stuff. Jamie- it seems to be your thing these last 4 yrs. Running away. Ammiright?

SUPPERS ON! Claire thinks the best way to anyone’s heart is by giving them booze. Pregnant or not, poor Jenny a glass & you are sure to get in good with sister.  Small talk turns to “You know anything about being awesome like me & running a house like this?”  “Hmmm, not yet but I learn quick, don’t you worry.”

Ian reminds everyone  Quarter Day is tomorrow. Jenny is excited cuz she gets to take everyone’s monies. Ian just wants to celebrate his buddy coming home! Jenny also thinks this is a good time to rib on lil bro again, things just aren’t tense enough and she has 4 whole years of pent up big sister pissing contests to win. She throws down the Daddy’s grave card.  Jamie is still avoiding that splinter under the nail so…

elk

Jamie takes that one because Jenny lets him suit himself. AKA Get stuffed you wee shithead.

Quarter Day brings lots of happy faces. Mine especially. Jamie in leather. MMMMMMM. Nom Nom Nom.  It’s Brians leather BTW. Looks fine on him, fitting into Daddy’s jacket verra well.  People are bringing gifts for the Laird n Lady. First one…a bottle of booze. Claire is thinking to herself SCORE! I’m going to like it here JUST fine. These are my peeps!

yes

She gets all sorts of gifts, then one…one is SUPER special. The little vase with blue deco. The one she should have bought in episode one. It’s not exactly the same vase but a vase still the same, she had never owned one. Now she did, the look she gave Jamie was “You have no idea but I’m home.”

sigh

Quarter Day is going fine however Jamie seems to be giving away more money than he is bringing in, in the spirit of generosity to his tenants during hard times. Jenny ain’t happy ’bout it.

We get introduced to Rab & Rabbie McNabb. Poor wee bugger Rabbie, just wanted a crappy bannock.  His father started smacking him around in front of everyone. Claire isn’t really one to watch boney lil kids get batted around. She got in there and tried her best to diffuse the situation.  ME?   I would have seen just how far his balls could have gone into his stomach under the power of my Reeboks but…then again, I can be a trifle on the vigilant side when it comes to weak men. There aren’t many things that get my dander up. Morons that smack around kids & women for the sake of smacking them around. Yeah.

hold me back

Hold me back bro…

 Claire brings wee Rabbie in the house to be tended, bringing him straight to Jenny. Their relationship exists. If its strained most likely because Jenny has always been the one in charge of Jamie. The only woman to care for him since their mother died. Think about having to give him up to a wife. Yeah…ouch right?  I think Claire is aware of that so she is being delicate with it.

Jamie sees them with the boy & goes over to see what’s shaking, Jenny dismisses him. She has been in run of the house for a long time but truth is. The men are the ones who discipline the children, the women who are the one who tend & love them. Not his business. Truth. This is why he isn’t concerned when Jenny flits him away & he pretty much ignores Claire when she calls after him to do something there and then.

Next thing we hear is drunk music. This was thanks to the awesome Bear McCreary. Then we see Jamie…he done went and got Claire Drunk. I know right? There’s a switch. This whole scene was just awesomely written, brilliantly acted & just funny as hell. Claire’s eye rolling, Jamie’s ass smackin’ I’m the Laird of Lallywood & beat up people, yo ho ho & a bucket o rum was just plain funny.

DogLaughing

I did like the line “the difference between abuse & discipline”- a little token there for peeps. There plainly is a line that some choose not to see – in both directions.

opinions

Drunken convo about elephants, seeing them & riding them was priceless and as annoyed as Claire was with her annoying drunk of a husband, she also thought to herself, “Oh, I guess whats good for gander…”  One good heave and he is snoring happily.

The next morning, we hear hungover music. Nicely played Bear. See a green Jamie…..another nice change. Claire has a remedy that always works for her. MORE BOOZE!

Jenny flies into the room, not caring over much that Jamie’s head is as big as the broch, giving him hell for not taking the rents & not talking to her before putting the boots to Rabbie’s father, she happened to be taking care of that lil problem.  He looked abashed at this but she kept on going and hit the big button, the one she knew would get his goat. The DAD button. As lil brother he knew he just had to puff up and yell back he was boss and didn’t have to ask ANYONE for help! NUHUH not him! I caught a whiff right there that Jenny probably still saw him as her little brother, yes, always would but it was her father that was Laird. Jamie & Jenny were like peas n carrots. The Laird card just got played not the man card.

I'm the Laird, I'm the boss I make the decisions WHINE WHINE BLAH!
I’m the Laird, I’m the boss I make the decisions WHINE WHINE BLAH!

Jamie went & bit into a chunky bannock, I take it they aren’t supposed to be chunky.He called for Mrs. Croooooook, sounded a lot like hoooooor.  She was like “Ain’t my fault I have to grind the stupid flour…YOUR mill is broke”  So, he puffs up and figures HE is going to fix it. Every book reader is thinking WHOOOHOOOO MILL POND, WATER WHEEL SCENE!

Happy Dance EveryBODY!
Happy Dance EveryBODY!

Jamie & Claire head to the water wheel, sure enough, something is stuck! DARN. Jamie has to strip off his kilt & get into that water. This show can be torture sometimes you know. Making us endure this.

If you can't sense the sarcasm...you are broken deep inside
If you can’t sense the sarcasm…you are broken deep inside

By the way, I don’t have a penis…and I had shrinkage. That effin water looked COLD…AND I’m Canadian. I know COLD! Brrrrrrrrrr. Jamie exclaims CAC!  Which I was sure meant “Holy SHIT my balls fell off!” but Àdhamh Ó Broin said it was just “shit”…

Jenny comes running up & Claire admonishes her because of her condition. Saying she didn’t have to come but she says OH YEAH…I did- showing her who ELSE is coming. Red Coats. AGAIN!  Jenny, fast on her feet tells Claire to keep silent, they flare out their skirts to cover Jamie’s clothes. So for those who think Jenny is hardened & Claire can’t stand her… Yeah. All of that- right there.

These redcoats aren’t evil meanie pants though. They want to help fix the wheel. OF COURSE they do! ERGH! Jamie has gotten REAL good at holding his breath. It’s all his practice going down n doing morning alarm clock exercises. Everything happens for a reason I tell ya!

Jamie manages to fix the wheel & throws his shirt in it to make it look like THAT was what was stuck. The redcoats leave with a passing insult but no harm, no foul. Except maybe they take Jamie’s perfectly good shirt with them. Don’t offer to give it back or anything, just lay claim to it. Weenie move guys. Weenie move.

colin no

The girls rush to make sure Jamie is alright. Jenny’s concern of course comes out in something that sounds like big sister condemnation when Jamie is standing there all, glistening, neked & really really cold. Good lawd…that water looked glacier spring cold. Poor buggers. Jamie hardly heard WHAT she was saying only realizing she was there, keeping his own Wee Jamie covered – not so difficult as he has big hands & we have comprehended that water is super duper cold.  Let’s make this VERRA clear to you

effects of cold water
By now, you should be used to seeing these lil guys, and this one has a hat on…more tolerable?

Jamie spins around. He wants to get out of the water but he also doesn’t want his big sister to see him in all together…so he yells at her to turn around so he can get out before his cock snaps off. We all yell at Jenny to go because the last thing ANY of us want is for his cock to snap off! That…would be a catastrophe.

cant happen
some cocks…just can’t snap off…and be gone from us forever. This is one.

Many of us have a “SHUT UP” Button.  Jenny found hers when Jamie turned around.  His back, the scars…in that moment…the story of Jamie being flogged at Fort William was no longer just a story. It was Jenny’s little brother, being flogged at Fort William. Her story of that day & those 4 years apart, suddenly became HIS story & then theirs. You could see it clearly on her face in the few seconds before she spun around and ran away from it. Who would want to face that any longer than they had to.  Honestly? That kind of truth is like a kick in the face if you ask me.  I know you didn’t but if you haven’t figured out…I’m going to tell you *snort*

Jamie harps to Claire after Jenny takes off, wanting to know WHY she was there. If Jamie had lapels to grab n shake, pretty sure Claire would have right now. Plus its a good thing he had a hold of his own manhood because if it was within her grasp…she might of snapped it off herself. She sharply let him know Jenny came to warn him of the Redcoats because she gives two shits about him. With a swirl of her skirts…off she goes.

Claire is upstairs in Lallybroch, looking at the paintings – beautiful- when she & Always HoppyGuy Ian have a moment.  You know, he is perpetually Jenny’s balance, the happy balance…he & Claire seem to have such a connection in the show. One that didn’t really seem to jump off the pages for me in the book. Yes, he cared for her & him her but of course, you don’t get those stolen glances do you? The “Finally I have a brother in arms” against the world to be married to a Fraser as they battle it out in front of them. To read them…and to see them are very different creatures. I suppose if Steven Cree & Caitriona Balfe didn’t artfully present them – they would be lost on us as well. They get to know one another. He shows her part of Jenny she hasn’t seen, still strong, still worthy but soft. His. Hmmm, maybe the part Claire sees in herself a bit.

damn

Claire is also having a hard time dealing with the dynamics of helping Jamie find his niche. He believes he has a roll to fill. It’s a big one & in trying to do that, he is putting on airs that really don’t suit him. This is something so many people are guilty of that the expression was created for those very people. People do this not because they always BELIEVE it themselves they are better…but they think OTHERS think they SHOULD be better.  I will go back to Quarter Day – Jamie wearing his father’s coat, Jamie calling out to his tenants that LIKE his father he would be lenient.

See...more than just a pretty face folks
See…more than just a pretty face folks

AlwaysHoppy Ian let’s Claire know, the best way to deal with a Fraser is a good swift kick in the arse. Claire asks…if that doesn’t work…Kick harder he says.  He oughta know, can’t be easy to kick w one leg. Better take his advice. Claire makes up her mind.

Jamie, sound a sleep in bed. Looks angelic. Until Claire grabs his sheets and unceremoniously dumps his ass on the floor. She lets him know – it’s the Lady of the houses turn to talk. He best be shuttin his wine gob. She tells him he’s Jamie Fraser FIRST…Laird of Lallybroch SECOND and NOT his father but his own person…in so many words.  Even though Sam Heughan is a great actor, Jamie Fraser SUCKS at it.

We have a few shots from Tourism Scotland again. Have you booked your tickets yet?

Then…we are in the grave yard.  Jenny arriving to meet with Jamie who is standing facing  his father’s gravestone…for the first time. Jenny scares the beejeezus out of him. He is surrounded by dead people after all.

Oh you guys really OTTER make up
Oh you guys really OTTER make up

You just want them to kiss n make up but you know- this is going to be more than that.

And it is.

Jamie asks to speak first.  Claire got to him.  He gives Jenny the money for the rents, tries to make amends for the Rabbie situation & Jenny agrees that their father would have agreed with Jamie that the boy would be better off at Lallybroch.  Still Jamie knows, Jenny had the running of the estate for 4 yrs., he should have spoken with her, and he says so…apologizing.

This hits her but where it hits her starts us on a path that leads to Jenny stealing this scene.

I'll just take that scene....Thank you very much Sam
Laura – I’ll just take that scene….Thank you very much Sam

Jenny, after seeing Jamie’s back, realized the fury of the flogging Jamie had taken at the hands of Randall.  All of the years, part of her blamed her brother for their father’s death. Thinking he must of shot his big mouth off to get himself in trouble. That was after all his M.O. while they were growing up.  Those scars though, those were more than that…she turned it back on her own actions. Laughing in the face of the attempted rape.

Jamie pulls her to him. “Cry not”, he says. She needs to. He needs to comfort her. This is their moment to comfort one another. To heal one another. To share a moment of blame…both of them angered Randall. Both of them blame themselves for their father’s death and both of them can pass that fury onto one man. Captain Creepy deserves their wrath. Together.

Jamie tells Jenny he would have gladly died to save her & here we see Jenny’s iron backbone solidify once again & deliver a line from the books that has always resonated.  “If your life is a suitable exchange for my honour, why is my honour not a suitable exchange for your life?”

nananana
NA-NA-NA-NA-NA

She does love him as much as he loves her. THAT’S why they can get so angry, become so offended & know EXACTLY what to say to turn the knife so deep.

“Welcome home, Laird Broch Turach” Jenny says. Then all is right in the world. They accept their new roles in their lives, they finally lay their father to rest. Jamie kisses his sister & they go home to start their new life. Side by side.

SUUUUUUURE they do!

Man I love these people like family.

It happens every time. I guess I am easy
It happens every time. I guess I am easy

Claire is sitting at the window, starting out at the broch. “What the hell is up with this north facing tower thing?” she asks…”The thing is round, thats stupid.”  “Don’t be silly Claire, the door is on the north…DERP!”  *eyeroll* She says “Fraser’s” like one would say “Dumbasses” which…I got a huge chuckle out of.

Get comfy, but only for a couple moments. Claire feels like she belongs. Jamie reminds her, his arms are her home. Telling her why he married her. That he wanted her more than anything else in his life. Talking about her round arse and rock solid head…such a charmer. Then…the love…he tells her he loved her the first time she let him comfort her at Leoch. Also how he loves her more each day than the day before…yeah…She loves him…of course she loves him. Let’s have sex.

Ummm…them…they have sex. We don’t see it this time but we all have good imaginations & have seen it plenty of times we can replay it.

Naturally, we know, this is Outlander. They are NOT going to let us end on a happy note. No. That won’t happen.

We can't be that lucky
We can’t be that lucky

Sure enough, Claire wakes up & she looks drowsily blissful. You know somethings going down, and it aint gonna be Jamie this time.  He isn’t in bed with her.  Up she gets, dressed and out of the room…first thing she hears is harsh voices & the click of a pistol.

Looking down into the sitting room…Claire sees Jamie surrounded by 3 men of the Watch, pistols pointed at his head.  Told she will have scrub floor first thing in the morning if he doesn’t behave himself…and we know how well behaved Jamie is.

Dangit. Claire…never get comfortable sister.

SL-AB-Ootiest of ABootlanders

FYI—Just a heads up folks…next wks blog burst will be late – I am going on all expenses paid vacay to Cancun w the hasbeen for our 23rd wedding anniversary…the company I am with is kind enough to run an incentive trip that happens to fall during this time…booya! So take care of you…keep OutlanderCAN warm for me. Our Twitter LiveFeed will still be a go.  My fellow admin & buddy tlmfarmgirl will be impersonating me & taking over the @ABOotlanders twitter feed for the hour