I have been in Mexico, enjoying guacamole outta a bag. Really…resort…why’d you do that? Still, I was having a fabulous over a week away from reality…however… this means I missed not just ONE episode of Outlander but I missed TWO!

How’d I survive??? Oh wait…I was here.

Doing stuff like this…

I have my ways. I did watch them both. THANK GAWD!  However, my husband might have reconsidered his view on smackin’ me around if I would have hauled out my laptop during our romantic getaway to write these lil blog bursts for ya. To save my marriage & my ass,  I saved them till I got home & am doing a two-fer.  2 episodes for the price of one.

Lets do this thing…

You may get cliff notes or you may get the longest effin blogburst known to man. I have no clue…I’m just typing here. If you are a betting person, go for the latter. 

“The Watch” was a fanfreakingtastical episode! I loved it because it was a tale of two stories woven together and it didn’t confuse me. Which is a huge selling point cuz…well….pretty day.

We start off with Jamie looking down the barrel of some dudes…yeah…pistol…and he has a big’un! They share barbs and suddenly you think “Geez Jamie, isn’t it usually Claire that has the flappin gums?”  When they came to Lallybroch, they switched brains. First, he gets all #ClaireDrunk next #ClaireLippy. Thank all that is holy – Jamie…is SAVED by his big sister!

Turns out she knows these guys, The Watch. Not Rolex or even Timex, these guys are dang Casio’s.

Jenny doesn’t just know them a lil, she knows them a lot.  We learn that Always HaoppyIan even thinks of the leader in high regard. Why? Cuz he reminds him of Jamie.  Ain’t that sweet?  The Watch is both bad & good. They take money from folks to protect them from meaner folks than them.  They are the underground gang of the Scottish Highlands & they have the Frasers/Murray’s back!  Although Jenny doesn’t trust them enough to say outright “Hey dudes, this is my outlawing bro…you could get a good chunk of change for turning his ass over.” (To the the English…oh and I suppose to Captain Creep Master General- that’s splitting hairs)

They make intro’s “Here’s cousin Jamie, wandering in after years with his English bride- but we don’t mind her. Much.”

The look on Jamie’s face during AHIan’s exchange of pleasantries with Taran MacQuarrie, Leader of the Watch made ya wanna snort out loud. Both shock & jealousy. “He’s MY BFF! not yours!” “What are ya doing touching HIS sword Ian…that so ain’t right dude!” 

Jamie is NOT a happy camper when he finds out about this lil arrangement because now he has to play goofy Cousin Jamie MacTavish & everyone knows he bites his toenails. Weird kid.

Jenny & AlwaysHappy Ian put the breaks on Jamie’s temper tantrum and tell him…play along…or DIE! Stupid – remember the price on your big fat red heid. This is the Watch – they go where the quid is and right now, that’s your hied!

Jamie gets all “I NEVER WOULDA”  *sigh*  Guess ya shouldn’t have taken off for 4 yrs then huh?  Shit had to get done.

Claire agrees. Don’t be stupid…stupid! I think she said it nicer though – but the same effect was had because he knew – his responsibility was to his family. His wife, sister, bro n bairns – born & not yet born.  All that I learned from…this here face.

It’s the OK I GET IT…I’ll shut the hell up face. It won’t be easy but I will do it for the sake of my family.

 They have one of the most awkward dinners with the unmannered lot, like ever. Jamie trying not to be Lairdy (that’s a word right?) & Claire looking down at the nose picker in the crew. There is always one booger roller! I don’t know where they found that guy…trolls r us? How many bridges were searched under? *sigh* I know I know..ACTING! Only Acting. Gave me the willies! Plus…how can you possibly trust a guy with no top lip!?

 I had a hard time NOT liking Taran. Makes me feel dirty, and not in a good way either. He is a perceptive one, that Taran MacQuarrie. His name sounds like McCoy to my ear…is that a mistake? I dinna think so.

They cover various topics during dinner, how Jenny hides the good food & expensive tobacco when they come. Who wouldn’t? Bastards would eat & smoke it all…in that order one would hope – some do seem more civilized than others. Name sounds like McCoy tries to get some info out of Jamie when Claire offers up he fought in France with AHIan. That stirs his interest, if they were soooo close-  why oh why – hadn’t his buddy ole pal talked about this big redheadedsummuvvabitch before? Things that make ya go hmmmmm.

 The Watch divulges they have a plan in the works and more men arriving – I think Taran kinda likes Jamie…oh…who doesn’t? EVERYONE LOVES JAMIE!

A horsie needs tending & of course…DUN DUN DUN NA! Jamie to the rescue…he is the best damn shoer across the land. Jamie’s his name…shoin’s his game.  He’ll get that horse fixed right up.  Anything to get them dingleberries off his land. Dinner ends with Claire giving the evil “get yer boots off the table” look to Mctrollnomanners.

The next morning, trollbait found AHIan’s good tabbacky and was smoking it like he didn’t care.  I am pretty sure this guy was born in a barn – with no walls. Jamie pulled the shame card and trollfeatures decided to do what ANY 2 yr old with a tendency for pyromania would do. He set a big damn cart of hay on fire. WHATAPRICK!

So Jamie…of course…jack of all trades. Goes from being a laird, to a farrier to an ever lovin fireman in oh 2.3 seconds flat!

He puts out a fire, starts shaming troll features when the little fart face pulls a pistol on him. That’s ok, Jamie has ummmm…a HORSESHOE! He then proceeds to beat the crap outta 4  of them. Somehow ends up with the knife & pistol but ditches the horseshoe…I am sure a horse’ll need it more than him. Jamie Fraser just goes all Chuck Norris on their asses.  Teran watches Jamie…not at all bothered that he is bringing down his men one by one but impressed as all hell. Who wouldn’t be? As a side note…Who else loves the Yellin Fraser of Fightin Town? ARGH! GARGH! AH! GER! Very enjoyable indeed.

Taran tells his gang of douchbags to stand down…more like keep laying on the ground where their asses got tossed. He apologizes to Jamie & tells him he wants him to be a warrior for them.  Oh but our Jamie…he’s a lover not a fighter. Not that we have seen that part of him lately but all we have to do is close our eyes for a moment….remember…lover Jamie”  Yeah…then the grunting again. Shhhh…don’t judge.

Dammit as soon as he says he is settled down we have a visitor….HORROCKS!  You know the name. You can’t help saying it like you have a big gob of something stuck in the back of your throat that you gotta get out.

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. Yeah. Ummmm SHIT.  He pretends not to know Jamie. Jamie pretends not to know him but Taran…he ain’t no dummy.

For some stupid reason, the Watch is listening to Horrocks about a raid. *eyeroll* Ok…maybe he is a little bit of a dummy.

We have some bonding moments with Jenny & Claire. This episode has many of them. We start with them doing the laundry, chatting about the men- giving that all powerful line about AHIan guarding his chiefs weaker side-  when Jenny goes into labour.  Claire…now guarding Jenny’s. LOVED this!

Jenny’s baby is breech- all turned the wrong way so this is going to be a long go. This is time for Jenny & Claire to bond. Talk about Claire not being a mother yet, how that can happen by taking some of Grannie McNabb concoctions etc. Claire thinks AHIan should know about the babe being backwards but nope…Jenny will have none of it. Business as usual. Baby is coming and don’t you dare say anything else! YES’M! 

Time for Jamie to confront the SlimeyIrish, who just happens to be rifling through things that don’t belong to him. Nosey bugger. The scottish humidity sure has done nothing for buddies hair…he looks like a he got a bad perm…poof!  So we learn what Phlemsounds wants…he wants the monies! To travel to the colonies & adventures and to get his hair straightened. No one could expect to travel lookin like that could they?

One of the most BEAUTIFULLY shot scenes in the whole show was the next one between Claire & Jenny.  First I laughed when Claire asked Jenny to tell her what it was like being pregnant –

Then, I was mesmerized with the both the visual shots & dialogue.  I read the book to my hubby, in which that passage made him snort. When Jenny said it he looked at me and said “Well there ya go then! For the record…I wanna go back in YOU…not MY MOM.” Point taken hun…and thanks for clarifying.

 The beauty of the imagery takes the words and makes them her own. They don’t have to be how YOU feel about pregnancy…you feel Jenny’s connection to her body & to her men & that is something visceral.

Most.Gorgeous.Shot.Like.Ever…Ever.

So…no midwife coming to town. Nice! It’s going to be the Dr.Claire show! This is on you sister.  She lets Jenny know breech births are possible…only have to reach up inside and pull it out. THAT’S ALL! No BIGGY…I have small fingers.

Jenny says not without me pounding back some scotch first…Claire tells her baby will be drunk too…HA…then baby will come into the world a true scot. NICE! *snort* I love Jenny…if I haven’t made that perfectly apparent by now.

It’s time for AlwaysHappyIan to give Jamie a reality check of his own.  They are cleaning up after the fire…Now Jamie is playing janitor. Man of many trades. Ian tells him he’s has a ram up his arse or something to that effect.  Jamie is told he has 2 cheeks for a reason…turn one.  I say he has 4 cheeks…turn one and show 2! Come on, we are going through Jamie bum withdrawls. I can’t be the only one thinking it.  Jamie get’s his kilt in a wedgie because his BFF actually LIKES MacQuarrie! Come on Jamie…AlwayHappyIan, likes everyone that treats him like a MAN with something to offer…don’t be so damn selfish! Oh…and then there is this little part. Taran reminds AHIan…of…dun dun dun…YOU! Seriously Jamie – he protects your family from the redcoats. Pay one devil to keep the other away isn’t such a bad deal when you haven’t a decent bargain to make.

We can now consider Jamie’s head removed from his fine ass. Good ole AHIan. Gotta love ‘im and ya gotta trust ‘im.  Jamie tells him about Phlegminyourthroat bribing him.  AHIan says Jamie has money from being Laird he must use – he really doesn’t want to though. He can be a persistent bugger though.

The next scene is cut to one where you might as well just put your heart on the floor & step on it. Caitriona Balfe won’t say a whole lot but her face does and when it does…STOMP STOMP STOMP all over your wee heart she does her heart break dance. Seriously woman…where ever you learned to do that…it just ain’t right.

Jamie tells her of AHIans suggestion of giving the monies over to the greasyIrishman but saying that money was meant for their children, to build & keep Lallybroch. Claire’s face…shatters – along with our hearts.

She tells Jamie she doesn’t think she can have his babies and her face does the dance of breaking our hearts…his face crackles but only for a quickie so she doesn’t notice. When he mentions “Franks” name I think its about as cold I have ever heard his voice get – like a cold wind blowing through the door.

Claire didn’t count on loving him or having his babies…this is tearing her guts out and in turn ours. He swoops in to save the day. AGAIN. Saying it probably is for the best as he can bear his own pain but he could not bear her pain *sigh*

Off to meet to villain who is having the bad hair day…good thing he is wearing a hat.  Jamie tries to pay him off but the dumb shit wont stop yammering. He tries to extort MORE from him. Big mistake irish…yap yap yap telling my life story yap yap yap you should raise taxes & be tougher yap yap yap… Imma threaten your family…ummm is something pokin me… STAB! AlwaysHappyIan turned into GetHimFromBehindIan.

Dude totally deserved it. Jamie & Ian back together again. He’s a lil shaky about things though. Couldn’t put his sword in the hole. Bet he doesn’t have that problem with Jenny.

Jamie tries to calm Ian down with a “Remember when we were kids” chat at we talked about going to hell. That was fun right? Jamie you can’t go to hell alone…Ian has to make sure you don’t muck that up too.

Jenny is having a hell of a day. That little Fraser is a stubborn poke. She is at the point now where she thinks “Yup…gonna die. This wee bugger is gonna kill me”  Do the stuff I was supposed to do. Grab that wooden snake I found that Willie made for Jamie, give it to him for me Claire… cuz I’m gonna die like my mom did! It’s all down here from here.

The men wait downstairs & make rude comments, if AHIan coulda kicked him, I think he would have.  Taran made nice and paid for the hay they burned…also mentioned Horrocks…dundundun! He know’s somethings up so the next morning, he does a little math

This is the new math that is easy for kids but all us adults are screwin up. Answer is simple…ya killed him!  Jamie sets him straight.

Lemme eat my bread like no big deal and tell you the tale – Price on my head – bad hair knew – put a knife in him. 

GOOD! He says. That hair was making me crazy…was gonna cut it myself. Now you you have to go in his place on our little raid that the person NO ONE trusted arranged. HOW DOES NO ONE SEE THIS IS A BAD IDEA??? Oh right…TV. 

Jamie & Claire’s goodbye is…tender & full of love. She gives him Sawny the snake…not the other way around for a change.  You can see the emotion pass over Jamie’s face.  Claire threatens if he doesn’t come back she will drag him back by his thick red curls…yeah…sunnuva!  They had to go and slow mo that walk away didn’t they??? DIDN’T THEY??? ARGH! They did that to us once before…remember?  Not cool.

Taran n Jamie have a man to man chat in the rain on the way to the raid. Jamie sees Taran for what he is – he sees himself as a free man – more or less, more of a robin hood than an evil henchman. It is all about perspective. Being ruled or ruling. He invites Jamie into their ranks but Jamie having Claire – he sees no choice but to say no, even though he sees why one would want to. Especially being on the run. Taran surprises us all when swears he wouldn’t turn him over to the British…he might shoot him first but nope… but wouldn’t turn him over.

Jenny is in the midst of damn you’s, gonna dies & cursing & screaming….its close & girlfriend is really doing the birthing scene justice as the men ride into where the ambush is supposed to be….you can see the thoughts crossing Jamie’s face….perfect spot for an…ambush…FUCK!  You can’t get out of here….RUN! Too Late! TOO…DAMNED…LATE!

REDCOATS everywhere. Firing on them. Sunnuvahorrocks!

A wee lass was born. Maggie… Proof that Jenny is NOT always right, but let’s not rub that in too much. She probably is hormonal. Jenny gives Claire the tusk bracelets her mother Ellen was given by an admirer. Tall & queenly she calls Claire. Another compliment.  I love this moment between them. Claire gives her a kiss, some say it made Jenny uncomfortable, I think it make Jenny’s heart light up. A sister. Their moment.

3 days have gone by at Lallybroch and no word of the men…until the Lallybroch alarm goes off – hounds!

AHIan comes hobbling against another…arm in a sling and lookin beat to hell.He lost his horse, his leg & no doubt some pride but at least he brought home news of his bro. Naturally Jamie wouldn’t leave a wounded man behind. Taran got hurt and Jamie being Jamie…*sigh*… the Redcoats got him. AGAIN!

Without a break we are going straight into searching for the redheaded bugger! This is what I call a 2-fer – The Search

Now, I always enjoy the opening sequences in the show…but this marionette show was by far my FAVOURITE!  I mean really?  The fearies? The Stones? Claire….then POOF…she is gone. COME ON….Brilliance…beautiful. It gets us set up for the whimsy that is introduced in this episode and believe me – with for what is to come in future episodes…WE NEED THIS!

The episode starts straight into the heart of Lallybroch where all hell is breaking loose. Claire is getting ready to go find Jamie, AHIan thinks he is going to go…uh-huh sure… Claire being Captain Obvious points out Dude…you have no leg. He thinks she needs men to go and she is like “Nu-uh! No men! Just me! Draw me a map and make yourself useful”  Jenny is running around looking pretty purposeful but no one is taking notice of her. Girlfriend is on a mission!

Claire is all horsed up & ready to go and out comes 2 pistol packin Jenny, all raring to go. No arguments, she is coming…she can track…Claire can’t, she will shut her damn pie hole. Jenny has not only the spirit of iron…she also has the vulva of iron as well! DAMN GIRL! You just had yourself a baby now your hoppin on a horse.  Jenny continues to impress me. IronginaJenny! You GO GIRL!

She shakes Claire out of her internal dialogue and they set off on their way like Cagney & Lacey through the wilds of Scotland to track down Jamie.

They do some more advertising for Tour Scotland. It is not possible to do those scenic shots and NOT want to visit. Jenny shows her prowess as a tracker, fingers in horse tracks, watching smoke, pickin up poop…this girl is GOOD. She finds where the ambush happened pretty quickly. Crows pecking out the eyes of the dead…that’s always appetizing. Lunch anyone?

IronginaJenny says a prayer over the dead men and then does a quick recce of the area. She figures out where they are headed, that they have a big heavy cart – Claire fills in “hopefully its heavy cuz of the large red headed scot weighing it down” HURMPH!

These two alone tracking, the music…reminded me of the Littlest Hobo only way better.

I mean really…It just wouldnt go away 

Get’s me *sniff*  Every time *sniff*

Now…ladies & gentlemen…at this point in time I will be talking about the FULL episode. Not the accidently aired edited version that caused such a strammach in Canada on Sunday.  You might have heard.  Canada has 2 versions of Outlander.  One that is aired before 9 pm EST with all “adult content” censored out. This includes varying degrees of nudity, violence, choice language etc. Then we have the one aired after 9 pm EST…nothing cut.  It turns out – this past Sunday there was an error made and the daytime edit was played and hell was born down on Showcase.  You see, Sunday was also Mother’s Day so, for all the times breasts had been shown in all their sexual glory, the one time in the show they were being shown in their functional motherly glory…dun dun dun…censored. There is a WHOLE damn blog I could write about that, but I won’t because well, I am going to give Showcase the opportunity to adjust that. We shall see what comes of it.

The scene itself was SO FRIGGEN COOL!  I don’t doubt it has been seen before but yet again Outlander is ahead of the curve & making history on television by embracing Diana Gabaldon’s words and making them dance in front of our eyes. Releasing that milk, the sound of relief IronginaJenny was making. Made my own boobs start letting down and folks…these suckers havent nursed a babe in 15 years!  Ok..I was probably letting down powdered milk…but that shows ya. GOOD JOB! By missing this scene, my Canadian friends missed out on the conversation of Claire’s plans on trying to get Jamie back… while Jenny expressed her milk. If I heard one more person say “she milked herself” I was seriously going to start throat punching!  She is a woman…not a cow.  Terminology counts here.  As a woman who used to nurse, watching that milk get chucked…you go…NO!!! At the same time – yeah…where the hell would she put it?

On the road again….

Time to get serious, Warm poop, soldiers voices, hauling out the pistols…these girls are on fire!

They scope out the soldiers, see Taran but no Jamie. Spot a messenger heading off alone. this is their chance. Head him off & they will have him.

Jenny pretends to faint in front of his horse & instead of being smart and riding right over her…nope…big ole dummy stopped and set upon.

Got his English arse tied to a fallen log.  Jenny & Claire playing good cop – bad cop all over the place & he couldn’t even pretend to be decent about it. Calling them harlots & sluts.  That’s a sure fire way of getting untied eh?

Jenny is right evil when she wants to be…instead of cleaning her gun, she uses the cleaning rod as a hot poker…this should get his attention & either Claire doesn’t like the smell of this guys feet or the whole idea is distasteful to her…the look on her face is pure disgust.

Jenny gives him a kick in the arse for good measure. Have I mentioned…I really like Jenny?  If he hasn’t figured out Jenny means business, Claire is trying to make that clear to him. His feet are getting branded and he doesn’t say anything and Claire is not enjoying things over much.  Jenny then threatens to smoke his balls…he gets a bit more animated & begs them – balls seem to get attention & he tells them he is only a courier! *DING DING DING*

Claire realizing if he is a courier maybe he carries word of Jamie. Read his stuff!  The dork…the english with his feet branded and his balls about to be crispyfried orders THEM not to break the seal on the dispatches in the bag.  I am afraid you are the one at a disadvantage here dude…tied to a log, ass up with a girl, hot poker in her hand & all. I’d shut my gob if I were you. He knows he is up shit creek with no paddle now.

All they needed was in those dispatches. Jamie escaped! The dispatches said they needed soldiers to go look for him because they were headed somewhere else. Soooooo, if they didn’t get the dispatches…TADA…the girls would be the only ones looking. Destroy the dispatches and you are ready to rock & roll.

They figure Jamie is heading North. Then Claire suddenly moves to fix up the soldier’s foot…ummmm wha? No…dude has to die Jenny says. They have a wee battle of the wills over this. Jenny gives it to her straight…hell girl, he even heard where Jamie probably is going. There is NO way they can let him live. Claire…your instinct is to heal – Jenny’s instinct is to protect…together these will melt together soon. Like cheese n gravy.

Ummmm whats that noise? Sounds like buddy is choking on something…oh….wait…he kinda is.  It’s his own blood. Hi Murtagh “knows how to make an entrance” Fraser.  When he isn’t knockin’ you out cold…he will just slice your throat for you.  He saved the lassies from the soul stealing work. Thanks buddy. We owe you a solid!

Jenny lets Claire know that her protection mode comes from love & she will bare it soon enough, in so many words.  Claire agrees saying she would have killed him if Murtagh didn’t.  It bothers her to know it’s true, that’s why she looks troubled but she is moving into that part of herself.

The ladies share more moments in the dark over the fire. These are moments Jenny & Claire become sisters of the heart.  Jenny isn’t the sharing type so when she shares stories of Jamie, Ian & herself as children it is her way of inviting Claire into her past…which means she has opened the door to her present.

Murtagh shows up with supper for them…I guess they are going to still owe him a solid – he tries to pass off the duck it looks like for them to clean & they give him the “You broke it, you bought it” look.

The next morn. It is time for Jenny to take her leave, Maggie needs her mom, and vise versa. She gives Claire the Quarter Day rents & AHIans lil knife.  It was time for Claire to tell Jenny the things she needed to prepare for – you know…cuz of Culloden & what would happen in the highlands. Damn it if my gut didn’t twist in the memory of reading this one.  Another moment that the pages of the book reach up and smack you in the whole face!

It’s. All. Right. There.

Claire spills her guts to Jenny. Potatoes, famines, war, slaughter, land, gold, oh my! Jamie said you would tell me stuff – I’ll do it good sister! PHEW! Good ole forethinking Jamie saves the damn day and he isn’t even there.

Irongina Jenny rides off & we are left with the Army of Two.

Murtagh has a plan, as frustrating as he can be to Claire, it’s not to be “finding” Jamie.  Jamie will be finding them.  He brought Claire’s medicines with him, he wants her to stand out as a healer in the towns. He would dance..oh Murtagh to see you all DancyPrancy with a scowl on your face. I am not sure but I am willing to bet he doesn’t do weddings or funerals, damn sure he won’t do kids birthday parties. Doesn’t seem like a short people lover.

Broke my heart to see those peasants throwing food at the ole grumplestiltskin. Claire also attempted to tell fortunes whilst on the road. Both of them looking to garner information about whether Jamie had been in town. Only making women HOPE he was.

DancyPrancyMurtagh really thought he was good. Truth was, Duncan Lacroix got very good and had to pretend he was bad. What a waste eh? I’d have loved to see Murtagh really get jiggy with it.

The marionettes on stage again 🙂 Claire & her fearies. I love when I catch stuff…makes me feel all warm n bubbly. Hmmmm…maybe it was just too much pop.

Claire has an idea for Murtaghs dancing, perhaps he could sing too? Good plan? How about a tune like 

Murtagh LOVES the idea but NOT him singing it and thinks…scottish…make it a scottish song…same tune…scottish words…get a new outfit on her and TADA! There is an ACT!

The Sassenach will get some attention! The banter between Murtagh & Claire was priceless “Stop quoting the bible – it doesn’t suit you!” BURN!

Murtagh throws her up on stage and the other thing that got cut in the daytime episode was Claire uttering a “Oh Fuck” on stage. It was priceless.

The way Claire looks down at her wedding ring from Jamie before she gets into the swing of the song…made my gut turn…just a bit. He’s with her, always. 

She however went on village to village singing, dancing dressed as a laddie singing her heart out. Hoping that Jamie was hearing of the Sassenach singing the song that Dougal used to sing when he got too far into the drink.

You can see…some dirty gypsies were studying Claire & Murtagh as they travel village to croft. I enjoyed the whimsy, music & the way they shot the episode.  Not always hearing Claire sing, but seeing her, watching them traveling, seeing Murtagh dance, chatting w villagers, though the responses we “Nope…big red headed fella…ain’t seen him.”

They come upon a small camp where they hear music & see performers …ummmm….DOPPLEGANGERS! Oh.. it’s those damned gypsies! Doing a sword dance…ummm…a good one – don’t tell Murtagh I said that, and singing Claire’s song. The girl is being dirty nasty in her dancing too…mmmmmmm. Claire ain’t happy! Mr. Ward – the gypsy man…his voice reminded me of Geillis! SingSongy and musical but I didn’t like him near as much!

Claire & Murtagh demanded they stop singing their song, she even went so far as to pay them…Claire Claire Claire. She took his word he wouldn’t perform it…but we all know he will because now he has more money & a great song.

Murtagh is pissed. As I think he should be, he knows the gypsies for what they are. Cheats. He tells Claire, Jamie won’t know what song to follow now and she ought to go home, he will just follow the gypsies.  Claire…she throws the WIFE card. 

Claire done pulled rank. Wife beats GodFather like Rock beats Scissors

More singing, dancing, traveling until they seem to have come to the edge of the world.

One dark night, Murtagh finally goes into snapmode. Saying he was stupid for following after her, she is stubborn & listens to no one blah blah. You know, I think he is realizing just how much she is like Jamie…thus like Ellen and it is tearing his guts out…

Claire went an opened a can of she doesn’t know what the hell –  by saying to Murtagh “…because you’ve never lost someone you loved!” Ummmmmm….NO? You don’t think so eh? Let me TELL YOU something! He told us all right…he told us. All about the lassie who stole his heart and never returned it.

He shared how he killed a bore – was gifted the tusks & made bracelets for this love of his, gave them to her for a wedding present…even though he knew he would never have her. Naturally, Claire clued in that the love he lost was Ellen, Jamie’s Mom, and showed him that she had the tusk bracelets. Murtagh proclaimed his love for Jamie – saying he is like a son to him.

Here…have some.

If you didn’t need some kleenex right there.  I am afraid you will need to stop at the nearest medi-center. Someone has turned off your heart.

The next day, the plan is to wash, rinse, repeat. Start all over again. Murtagh lets Claire know…they will manage. Together. Stopped at a tavern, Gypsy lips Mr. Ward stops with a message. First he was going to extort them for it, then somehow he found a bit of decency, I think it was more Murtagh scaring a little bit of the poop out of him than anything, I did not take a shine to the guy. Personal filters ya all. *wink* I have something against lying cheaters. Silly me. Call it Daddy Issues.

The message is to go to Glen something or another Cross real fast like, they think it must be Jamie so off they go. She kisses the little weasel. ICK…hope she didn’t catch something.

They get to a super awesome cave of sorts…calling for Jamie…and dun dun dun…with the sidiest eye of all side eyes.

Dougal. SO psyched to see Graham MacTavish back but MAN….they brought him back douchier than ever!

He let’s them know that Jamie is alive but doesn’t let that bit of good news fester long. He let’s them know their song sure worked, Jamie met 6 redcoats on a road, one recognized him and off to Wentworth he went. Stood trial and is sentenced to hang. Not sure when though!

GOTTA GO Claire says! Not so fast Dougal says…it’s chat time with Uncle Dougal Mc Doucherson. Murtagh wasn’t to keen but for some reason Claire says ok…

Dougal tells her you need to let Jamie go and marry me!  Ummm…Jamie ain’t dead you wanker! Dougal is traveling between Arseton & Doucheville…might even be detoured to Prickski.

He keeps on trying to convince her that the only way to keep Lallybroch safe…OOOPS!  Claire understands now, its about the land…#facepalm.

She wont give up on Jamie…nope…I want your men to help me get Jamie out of there.  You a chicken shit Dougal? Huh? Claire still wants to save Jamie but says FINE I’ll marry you jerkface ONLY if I can’t Jamie out if I fail at getting him out or he’s dead…she’ll marry him. ARGH!

She can take any men that say they will go but Dougal isn’t going to tell them…

The next scene, Claire begs the guys to help but sure they don’t want to go into Wentworth to save Jamie. Scared.  Except….PoopinWillie! He is the first to stand up. That’s right.  The youngest… well he just went and shamed Angus & Rupert didn’t he? They will not be shown up by lil Willie. They will be going too! Damn straight they will.

Wentworth vs. 5  This should be interesting.  Let me suggest you get the following things ready for next Sunday.

1) Ativan for anxiety, you know, just in case. 2) Screw the kleenex, grab a towel. This will serve 2 purposes. To cover your eyes if needed and to catch any tears & or snot you release due to tears. 3) Booze. If you drink Just do it. Whatever your liquid evil is, make sure you have 2 bottles on hand. One for during the show – one for after. I have heard things.  4) Your remote. If things get too much in viewing through your personal filter. Turn off the TV. No one is making you watch the show. 5) Someone to love. Friend, family, fur baby…it’s always nice if you can have someone to hold onto. A pillow will do in a pinch. 6) Whatever device you choose to livetweet with. This might be a good idea for you. Humour will be hard to find but I promise we will do our best to lighten things up for you. It’s our job.

Catch us on the flip side #OutlanderCAN Sundays 8 pm MST.

SL feeling like an old Cootlander but nope ABOotlander- strong n free!