Get your nuts here. Real nuts. Actual Nuts.

Wow & wow. This episode pulled out all the stops & it seems to have split the fandom- which seems a little nutty to me.

First 1000 thank yous to ALL of those involved in the creation of this series.  I know there are people out there that make it their mission to pick everything apart, make fun of shit & feel it’s their given right to voice their very gnarly opinions. My truth is…we should feel privileged to have something to complain about.  I won’t because I am grateful to have it in front of my face in the first place. Being entitled isn’t my jam.

The Reckoning was all I could have hoped for – and even more.  It was from Jamie’s POV. BRILLIANT. Well played Mr. Moore n company. WELL PLAYED!

Not only because we got to hear his voice overs, lets face it…Sam Heughan’s voice is like  mozzarella fingers….smooth n melty melty melty.  It was a rock solid plan considering the parts of the story that were going to be told. I loved the opening scene, like a young boy, skipping rocks…just talk Jamie. Keep. Talking. Everyone else shut your damn mouth, Jamie is talking to ME.

Yes. Horrocks. Jerk feed. Shoulda beat his teeth in. Now-wee Willie Winky blow your horn. Really kid?  Is it really too much to tell the truth? You went for a piss did you? Nu-uh.  As demonstrated later on in the episode by Murtagh & Jamie, a piss only takes a few seconds.  You my friend went for a poop.  It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone poops. They even write books about it.  But poopin is for sure what you were doing, other wise Claire would not have had time to wander SO FAR to have found the stones & been caught by the dreaded redcoats and as I like to call him – Captain Creep Master General. That dude has some serious warped inner dialogue that transforms right to his features. Tobias, you are scary. In a good way. If that’s possible.

Off go the fearsome foursome to save the damsel in distress. Murtagh, Rupert, Angus & Jamie. These are four dudes you do not want to meet in a back alley somewhere. They took a whole garrison in one fell swoop! Murtagh and his nighty night cracks to the noodle. Which he is probably known for in the Highlands. “Och, yer havin trouble sleepin? Aye, go visit Murtagh…ye’ll not feel a thing”

Scaling walls with very iffy ropes! I mean come on Jamie, ya gave that thing a tug…it HARDLY seemed stable but SURE…we’ll go down it and take the chance of rope burning your balls to charred bits.

Blowing up barrels o’ pitch & beating the hell out of redcoats with muskets…and bashing that smug nasty sunnuva whoseit face off the desk.  Now that’s entertainment folks!

The dialogue between the 3 was entertainment in itself. Captain Creepy was showing off his fetishes a bit “want him to join us?” “Umm pardon excuse me”  Claire showing off her big ole medicine balls by threatening to cut off his. Ha.  That girl, she will not go down without getting her own in will she? I must say the ass Captain, did seem like he was pulling on her hair a bit rough. Dude, this is TV…calm your nuts a bit. Cait needs that stuff- its a part of her character.

Take a lesson from Gilbert…lighten up

People have to constantly be reminded THIS IS TV. Why didn’t Jamie kill BJR right there and then?  Well…consider this. That would mean Captain Creepy’s story would be over.  He would then-  create no more havoc. THAT’S JUST NOT ACCEPTABLE. Sheesh. Wentworth knows there is SO much more havoc to be caused.

DUH!

I keep hearing on the interwebs “That didn’t happen in the books.”  “They left that out” and sadly it’s usually attached to a tirade of whining.

Hear YE Hear YE! How bloody bored would we get if it were EXACTLY how it were in the books? Seriously? Those of us who know the books…and yes…really know the books. Read them a dozen times or more.  We have seen them in our minds o’er and o’er again. The novelty, my friends, would wear off really bloody fast. Another thing…they wouldn’t translate to TV as nicely as you would romanticize in your head. Let the professionals take care of it and shhhhhhhh. Enjoy it. Let the changes be something new and exciting to add to the story you fell in love with. Not a take away.  Perspective people.

The fight between Jamie & Claire on the way to Leoch was perfect. The fire, the intensity, the way they got into each others faces. Just like real people do when they are at their breaking points. I loved the way Claire kept jumping in front of Jamie, forcing him to face her & when he finally snapped, spit flying in her face. I sang Murtaghs knock out song “THANK YOU” to the screen because they pulled it off.  Then…Snap. Crackle. Pop. Goes Jamie’s wee heart.  He vowed to protect her and he just lost his shit all over the place. The whole day came crashing down on him and so did his heart.  Sam really didn’t have to recite the lines, his face said most of his dialogue for him. Yup….guts….out. SPLATTOOIE!

Forgiven. Well…for that lil transgression anyway. Claire isn’t really prepared for part 2.

The highlanders play “ignore the Sassenach”.  Not even looking at her- acknowledging her existence in anyway.  Dammit…just when she got in good with them – and ummmm…they did just save her life. Whateves…*sigh*

We all knew what was next.  We all wondered just how they would handle this little piece of the puzzle. Some hoped they wouldn’t show it, some couldn’t wait to see it. The truth is, we all have this little thing called a personal viewing filter. It is made up of life experiences. It is made up of our every day. It is made up of how we process & perceive things. It is there because of how our lives were shaped. Guess what? WE ARE ALL RIGHT! DUN DUN DUN! I can not for one second argue with someone that has been a victim of domestic violence that their viewpoint has no merit. I can not for one second argue with someone who has been a survivor of sexual assault and healed has no merit. It is pointless to argue with someone who has logical facts about time, personal accounts and realism on their side. I refuse to get into debates with people about time periods & punishments because frankly, this is a story.  A story that Diana Gabaldon wrote and now was being made into TV. This scene, and others to come, are intricate parts of said story.  I believe they handled this one beautifully.

It showed Jamie’s determination. His logic for his actions. It shows Claire’s no bullshit, not going down without a fight attitude & the spirit of the scene was just that.  Take your personal filter out of it for a moment, if you dare – see it for what it was. Character building & story telling.  My favourite part of that scene was Claire backing up like a cat in a corner & of course binging things off of Jamie’s head. Girlfriend has a wicked arm! She would be my first pick in a fast ball tourney. No doubt.

Back at Castle Leoch you would think from the reception things would be awesome. Seriously, everyone needs a Mistress Fitzgibbons in their corner…don’t they? What a cheering section!

Biggest WHOOHOOS alright. Next to Laoghaire’s *snicker*

Have that follow you around all day.  Make someone feel like a million guineas.   I have to say…Colum really turned out to be a fun sucker though.  You want a party pooper? Invite old TwisteyLegs McTwisterson to the festivities. He’ll do it quick like.

The politics in the episode swept me away! I really which Harper would take some ball growing lessons from old Colum. Dude might be shooting blanks but he sure knows how to grow ’em.  The Jacobite cause is an underlying catch in the first book- with much more in DIA so I loved how they made it such a bone of contention here. It really makes the storyline come off the pages. When Dougal went on his tirade and dropped the bomb…you know…YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER all Maury Povich up in the house! I was like “Damn Guuuurl!”

Having that be a power struggle with the MacKenzie men & within the clan itself was Grade A MacKenzie Meat Sandwich. Make a donair outta that and bring me two! It gave Jamie some much needed time to develope as one whose strategizes & lets others make the moves. It was a very Laird-Like moment for him, aiding Colum in mending that crack in the armour with Dougal.

I have to just say Murtagh, every scene he is in. He steals it for me. Scene Thief! Sound the alarm. Especially in the wood when the boys were putting a pounding on WeeWillieWinkie…and Dougal asked them were they with him.Murtagh went and hocked a loogie. That was a resounding “Up yers” wasn’t it?

That brings us down by the river. Another scene which I am SO glad they added, even if as the time I was the WTF?! The more I thought about it, the smarter I thought it was. Some see this as making Jamie weak.  Are you serious?  Some see it as making him less honourable? Ummmmm…you be cray cray. Laoghaire…came down to his “secret place”- basically told him she has been stalking him since she was 7. Ok. That’s a bit more than a crush.  Jamie KNOWS that he didn’t dismiss her affections all this time. He is aware he got himself into this mess. He now needed to get himself out.

When girlfriend pretty much disrobes and put his hand on the top of her bewb (thats how he says it) – all of a sudden the Outlander fandome expects Jamie to turn into INSTADICK. That he would rip his hand away & proclaim his love for Claire & break her heart at the ready. Let’s not forget. Jamie, is a man. (Well he IS a character..but I am digressing)…bewbies are warm….they feel nice…and they tend to make men stop thinking. Why you say? Because most men can supply oxygen to one head at a time and it took him a moment to get the blood back to the one he needed to be thinking with, and he did. He was letting her down as gently as he could because…he is a man of honour. The one everyone wants him to be. It’s because everyone hates Laoghaire and thinks she a nasty wench…she had done nothing up to THAT point to say she was, except try to get the man that she loved to be with her. With that Jamie was being kind & caring. You know, the kind & caring Jamie everyone wants him to be – but because so many hate Laoghaire- they want him NOT to be kind & caring with her.

Remember, Jamie hasn’t read the books.   All I can picture is fans all over the world screaming at poor Jamie…READ THE BOOK! You are supposed to be perfect you regular piece of shit human! *snort*

Can we have make up sex now? PUHLEASE?  Jamie going back to Claire & their room, contemplating how he was going to get back into her…good graces.  Dude. Is. Good.  I am glad he did a little soul searching, he became a man in that room. Admitting that his relationship with her meant more to him than everything he had been taught since he was a lad.  I did have to giggle when he said this about Colum though. “I saw a rigid man bend” I shouldn’t have laughed but…ummmm the guy is bending starting at the ankles, it was an analogy that just…you know…ok. I will stop.

If you are going to break a steely girl heart, a good way to do it is pull out your dirk…and swear your loyalty to her.

The dialogue that took place after, right before they got into the HOT HOT HOT sex was perfect. Him asking if she wanted to live separately, her admitting she probably should but that wasn’t the way of it, then them coming together. Slight pun intended here. The intimacy that was displayed was intense & yeah, I might have felt a little voyeuristic but in a really good way. 

I have heard some say this scene was like soft porn. Ahem. Folks. No. GO pick up yourself some soft porn – I know soft porn – this ain’t it.  This is however GOOD TV SEX! I would much rather see our couple actually coupling rather than looking like they are a soap opera sliding into bed and rubbing 2 sticks together. That is NOT Jamie & Claire sex like I read it…to be perfectly honest with you, neither is what they showed me. What I read- is full on pornography…I have a FANTASTIC imagination. What they pulled off in this episode was flipping brilliant. It looked like actually make up  sex! I laugh that more people didn’t freak about Claire pulling the knife on Jamie & threatening to gut him while she was riding him.  This of course was perfect timing on her part because any man will promise anything during an intense sexual encounter such as this. “New house babe? Sure…just don’t stop!”  “That new ring…YES! How many carats!? Keep going!”  It’s a fantastic power position. Ladies, start your engines & get a grip, being sexually empowered is a MUST.

Making our way to the last dramatic *GASP*.

LAOGHAIRE DUNDUNDUN

The illwish.  That Jamie didn’t know it was Laoghaire in the books made me think he was a few fries short of a happy meal (in the books) but with the extra scenes in the show…of course he would know and right away.  I loved the dramatic effect they threw in for the show. This is ALWAYS necessary – it’s a) fun for audience b) it makes the scene pop c) it shows peeps this is important.  To play it off as not a big deal…people would be whiney about that.

TV shows need triangles.  I am really looking forward to what they do with Laoghaire.  Nell Hudson is fantastic. The Colum/Dougal/Jamie thing is fantastic.  I must say all the added bits, as a book fan get me all revved up!  I KNOW the books! I love the books, but they are the books. This is something new. BRING IT ON.

SL- the AB-Ootiest of all ABOotlanders (that mean I have the biggest arse)