It’s early ya say? Uh-huh. That’s what us Canadians do when we think we might get snowed in or some such nonsense. We take precautions and get stuff done. READ: So we can get our drink on.
So grab yourself snowbeer outta your snowfridge (It maybe a Canadian thing…it may not) and sing along.
We’re no dummies! Hold onto yer toques, cuz here we go!
Sing it with us...
ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY JAMIE GAVE TO MEEEEEEEEEE:
Twelve ABOot-hearts a drumming
Eleven Highland Pipers
These lovely laddies are from the Seaforth Highlanders of Canada. They, are in fact based out of B.C. but they DO perform in Alberta. We are equal opportunity here with the ABOotlanders. Lots of B.C. fangirls. We are preachin it!
Honest- we were going to say something about 11 pipeliners…cuz you know. Oil n stuff…our Scottish friends – we have that in common, but politics – like unshaven legs, makes prickly bedfellows so, nope, not saying NUTHIN ’bout THAT!
Ten Redcoats fleeing
We know…We know…there are not 10 Red Coats in the picture. The way I see it, once the tears in your eyes blur your vision enough, it will LOOK like 10. I …can’t…stop…laughing.
Nine druids dancing
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ummm sure 8 & 9. Yup. Right there. Behind that stone.
Passed out. Bit drunk. Friends of Claire and let’s face it…any friend of Claire is a friend of ours.
Next Soberphobic meeting is at the Bothy…local pub,next month. Be there or be square! Naturally we must mention, The Bothy was voted one of THE top Bars in CANADA . Look ! All you have to do is google “Best Whisky Bar in Edmonton” the google machine does not lie. Right?
Eight maids a waulking…wool
(See, it isn’t just Canadians that throw random “u”‘s in words.)
Waulking wool..wet…juicy wool. You know the pissy kind. It sets the dye faster.
This is just one of the things that Diana Gabaldon teaches us. The woman is a walking encyclopedia. To learn from her just GO HERE!
Seven corns a grindin’
Grinding what? You might ask? Who, I might suggest.
We have the sweet Candy Corn. The Canned English Corned Beef. The 4 cobs of Corn…one looks a bit stunted in his niblets, does he not? Oh, we could not forget our Ole horn dog…*ahem* Corn Dog. (And that’s his stick! STICK. You dirty bunch of…)
Six; bad advice for laying
…frig knows Jamie got enough to pass on. Let’s see. Where shall we start?
6– Go as fast as ya can. Get it over with! FOREPLAY is a word…a long word for a reason. *Bad Advice Rating- 8 STARS*
5– Always do it from behind. Granted, the faces ya all make can be a bit of a turn off, we do like to kiss your faces and sometimes you look super cute. *Bad Advice Rating -5 STARS- from behind is sometimes fun*
4– Don’t take your shirt or boots off. No one wants to see you naked. The reason our happy parts are so far down is so we can have fun taking our clothes off to get to them. SHEESH! *Bad Advice Rating- 7 STARS- Socks are a different story in Canada in the winter…effin cold out there.*
3– Don’t talk during sex. It’s distracting. Pardon? This might be the most important time to communicate. That hurts. That feels good. Stop that. Do that more. *Bad Advice Rating -7 Stars- If you are talking about whats on the TO-DO list for tomorrow…and it isn’t me, then we have a problem.*
2– Stay in one position. Don’t move. That’s a sure fire way to get a cramp. Switch it up. Get creative. Be the twister of the bed sheets. *Bad Advice Rating -8 Stars- That kinda non-action can be …yawn…pretty boring…monotony in the bedroom…no fun.
1– Spit on it. JUST NO. *Bad Advice Rating -100 Stars- JUST NO!
Five goooooooolden drammmmmmmmms (of Whisky!)
…and yes…we KNOW shots are WAY more than drams but – this was way more fun.
We took bets would Tammy pull a “Jamie on a boat”, or would Tammy not pull a “Jamie on a boat”. We MEAN PUKE…*sigh* … can’t say any damn thing around you people. She didn’t. Sweet Jezuz was the ride home interesting though!
Four Calling Clansmen
– or women in a parkling lot after a party- ya know…whateves.
There were no Heughliots hurt in the making of this video. Except maybe feelings.
Three French Hooooooors
We might not be french but we are a reasonable facsimile for the other thing.
Two beavers ahhh..rogering
Hey we’re Canadian – Our porn is on the national geoGRAPHICside. Unshaved beavers EVERYWHERE. If you thought…for 2 seconds, you were going to get through this CANADIAN blog…without seeing or hearing about beavers, that is your own fault. Remember…fool me once, shame on you – fool me twice, shame on me…fool me three times… it must be CHRISTMAS. Besides, its Toger. THE cutest damn beaver in history. He even has a story.
And a pearl necklace draped o’er ME
Yes. Me. We understand that “ME” means you…and YOU…and YOU. WE…get it.
We certainly hope you enjoyed the HEUGHLIOTS take on the 12 days of Christmas. We were early for Thanksgiving. We brought #Droughtlander to you. We only thought it right the 12 days be a smidge early too.
Nollaig chridheil agus bliadhna mhath ùr!!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!
From the Heughliots of ALBERTA
ALL 167 locals that is
This blog brought to you by the twisted minds of Admin Tammy & SL Heughliot @ Large and many random suggestions & ideas from the HEUGHLIOT ladies *ahem* (term used lightly / loosely) event.
Please feel free to comment. We read everything #AssumingPositiveIntent so even if you are trying to be mean…it will only stick to you-
OMG, thank you for the great laugh, I’m still laughing…out loud…oops I spilled my wee dram of Scotch…must stop laughing…can’t stop laughing…help me!!!!
On 9 December 2014 at 20:44, AB-Ootlander by the Heughliots wrote:
> AB-Ootlander w the Heughliots posted: “It’s early ya say? Uh-huh. > That’s what us Canadians do when we think we might get snowed in or some > such nonsense. We take precautions and get stuff done. READ: So we can get > our drink on. So grab yourself snowbeer outta your snowfridge (It maybe a > Ca”
We are glad you enjoyed it…or at least that is what we believe all that laughter means. Except we do not condone the alcohol abuse mentioned in your comment. Spilling Scotch? *gasp*
AB-Ootlander, keep up the good/great work…I managed to save most of the Scotch and licked up the rest! lol
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Fantastic! Good way to start my morning! Love Toger and Anita…that and unshaved beavers cracked me up!
We love Toger too…Anita Beaver was a fun touch 😉
Hilarious! Thanks much! Whenever I see that I received an email from you all, I feel like it’s Christmas every time! 🙂 Thanks for helping us all through this miserable Outlander hiatus! Happy Holidays!
Happy to bring a smile to your face Glenda!
We hope to keep doing just that!
The evening looked like so much fun…although it would have been tequila not scotch in front of me. Brave Heughliot! Working on the snow fridge now..3 days of snow should be a good start here in Ontario. Baby its cold outside is on replay. I love your rendition of ’12 Days of Christmas’..this Canadian beaver can’t stop laughing haha
Pick your poison & go! 😀
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I love you gals – and I don’t even know you! A very happy holidays from a fellow Canadian way out in the suburbs of Toronto! Thank you for keeping me laughing all the way through the snow 🙂
xo We love you too because that needs to be reciprocated!
One of the best ’12 Outlander days of Christmas’ I have seen!!!
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I’m making my way through your old posts. This is awesome! And you all look so nice! I want to move to Canada. Haha kidding…no, I’m not. Know any single men around 35-45ish? 😉
We ARE so nice! Come on up…weather is lovely…well…it’s GETTING lovely. Hmmmm single men – we got plenty of those too 😉
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Packing my bags right now! 🙂