FAILANDER! Resolutions gone horribly wrong in the world of Outlander.

December 30, 2014 by Sherry W.

Naturally, us Heughliots can’t let any kind of event pass without throwing in our twisted two cents. Even though we don’t use pennies in Canada anymore. We don’t, we ain’t lyin’…Google that.

Who really makes resolutions that don’t turn into disasters? Yeah…that’s exactly what we thought too. SO, why should our larger-than-life, super awesome characters in Outlander be any different right? RIGHT?

Yeah…let’s get this puck on the ice!

Type as fast as ya think!

Let’s start with everyone’s favourite villain. BJR. Big Jerk Randall.

He thought he would try to be a better person. Thought he could go that extra mile to be a kinder, gentler soul. He thought he could be more personable. My mother *Rest her Soul* used to have a saying. “You thought you farted but you shit yourself.” That is about right for BJR and his resolution. JUST you wait and dig into our next 8 episodes! You will almost wish Droughtlander lasted a little longer when you see some of this stuff!

#GoodGuyFAIL

Claire. Our sweet soberphobic, getting ClaireDrunk, always with the check liver meter…Claire.

Naturally she thought it would be a good idea to lay off the booze. Ha…ha…hahahahaha!

The liquor refill light went on after about 15 minutes. The poor lassie was sank…sunk…drunk.

#EPICOnTheWagonFAIL

You wouldn’t think a witch would want to give up anything would you? However, Geillis was finding herself a bit too dependent on the herbs. She does not get that crazy ass look in her eye for no reason people.

Legal in Canada. Shhhh

C’mon! That lasted about as long as Arthurs next bout of flatulence – she had to use something to clear the air. It was the most potent kind of smoke around.

#BuzzFAIL

Iona McTavish. No she wasn’t a major player in the Outlander world but you all know how important she is to us. This lady resolved to get a new damned dress for the next gathering. How insulting of Mrs.Fitz! Then she realized, SHE still fit into HER dress. HA! She would show them (Read, Mrs.Fitz) and STILL fit into it at the NEXT gathering as well. BEASTLY woman!

#FEKITNotaFAIL

Everyone loves them some good ole Rupert. Rupert is cuddly, soft, bearded, Angus’ best friend and Dougal’s right hand man. He wants to be more independent though. Wants to explore the world of Rupert. Find himself.

That’s Right.

Damned if he ended up under yet another juicy hen though. He doesn’t seem to mind. It is his happy place!

#GetLuckyFAIL

Our Dougal vowed to try and make his way out of Doucheville this year. Hmmmm. We admit, with all the punching out his friends and hitting on his new niece-in-law, he was getting fair comfortable there. The start of his resolution he went on a wee trip out of Doucheville. However, we are afraid he took a wrong turn and ended up in Arseton.

: Look out for holes Dougal!

#DIRECTIONFAIL

The beasts are never safe with Angus around.

They shake in his presence. He decided that enough was enough. He would be sure to stay outta the barns and leave them to their feed. Instead..he ended up too far into his cups one eve and found himself some bigger boots to hold ’em still…

Yes, it must be why zippers were invented. So the wee beasties could hear them comin’…

#OldMacDonaldFAIL EiEiOOOOOOOO

Laoghaire. We aren’t going to play the mean girl card and call her leghair or lo’whore or any of those other mean names people call her…SO rude!

She is just one failed resolution after another failed resolution. Since she was a wee hussy…I mean lassie. She has vowed to get tapped by JAMMF, why should this year be any different? She resolved to do the same. Yet, she asked for help from the wrong herbnerd didn’t she? Ended up with a handful of horseshit.

Yup. She sure has a purdy mouf.

She will keep trying though…stay tuned. Grumble Grumble.

#StinkyFAIL

We have gotten used to Mrs Fitz stealing the screen. Whether it’s greeting the boys when they return home, telling men of the cloth where to put their holy water, insulting great authors, or smacking errant visitors around (dream sequences or no – that shit freaked a lot of people out! It’s funny NOW)

We like Mrs.Fitz who keeps our blood pressure in check

She has obviously resolved to rule with an iron fist. We’d say she has done it – maybe she’ll try an iron pot next.

We do hope you realize that there are a lot of viewers with heart conditions or that are just wound extra tight (View most FB groups, it will take you seconds to spot them)…let’s not do anymore of that crazy stuff again. Stay the hero aye? I’m not sure WHO I’m talking to anymore…either way…that’s a random.

Poor, Poor Jamie. His resolution is all about self preservation. JAMMF is really tired of getting his arse whooped. I mean wouldn’t you be? Go picking hay, run back to the house, get your ass whooped. Go to hall to watch…get your ass whooped. Sit around a fire eating some dinner, get your ass whooped. Go to prison…super get get your ass wholloped.

Don’t you wanna just take him home and make it aaaaall better?

He just wants to stop getting his ass handed to him whenever he turns around. BUT BUT BUTT.…He doesn’t get very far does he, the wee bugger?

Everyone has to wait for Wentworth to see….that’s a

#SuperDooperPooperEpicFAIL

There is the man that it all started with Frank Randall, he is the resolution king! He is firm in his belief he WILL find his wife. She is out there somewhere. He has beat himself up so much this year over her loss. Should he have paid more attention to her? She did, after all, disappear from right under his nose…he sure liked having her under his nose. He looked downtown and he looked uptown…He would not stop looking!

Oh Frank. This is NOT your year buddy. Just saying, and I don’t think things are gonna get much better. For a while. SPOILER. We are supposed to say that first aren’t we? Nuts.

#SEARCHFAIL

Just so you are aware. There is no way I am making any resolutions. I am far too smart for that. I don’t set myself up for failure.

What us Heughliots do…we try our very best to be better people than we were yesterday…and we do that, everyday.

Being Kind is SEXY. Maybe creepy sexy but we don’t mind. RAWR

We think that is the answer to having a better year. See? We aren’t just pretty faces. We are pretty friggen smart too!

What do you all think? Yes…of us being smart. No, ya wankers. Of resolutions or not…

This has been brought to you by us!

SL, Heughliot @Large

and the Grand Poobah tlmfarmgirl with lots of support and a dram from @janzen77– she’s the pretty one.

Singing the Droughtlander Blues. Christmas Carol style.

December 24, 2014 by Sherry W.

BAHAHA…drowning sorrows. NOT really. We are having a blast with our Droughtlander. I mean how cool is it that everyone is using the term that made its debut here? Not surprising really. Bloody witty bunch are we.

I was wrapping presents when I thought about this #HeughliFUN pic I did of Angus. I love this guy, no teeth and everything. Except when he gets road rage. That’s not attractive…I digress.

and thought to myself…”Self…(yes…what else would I call myself? Yes, crazy bitch, but at that moment I wasn’t feeling as rude as you are right now…so back off eh?) Self…what other Outlander characters could you make #HeughliFUN pics in relation to Christmas.” Well, let’s just say…the ideas started flying out of my head. So wrapping stopped. SEE how it stopped!

Since I have AOD= Attention Outlander Disorder. It’s an effin thing o.k.??? Just like we made Droughtlander a thing…we are making AOD a thing. Deal with it. I jumped from the wrapping…and not like rapping…I’m a very white Canadian girl, I really should never do that. Like ever.

nerdy Canadian rapping…shhhh yer lips

Thinking of some of my favourite Christmas carols & it is so easy to picture my favourite Outlander characters with them.

My late mother loved the song “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” Ironic huh? Well of course now…I’m thinking this year anyway…Claire! She sure isn’t going to be but…I suppose it’s because I go to the place in my head with this song, huh?

Yep Claire…right there. Home.

Who else for Deck The Halls but Rupert…who literally decks people in halls? It was redumbdiculously obvious wasn’t it? I liked it fine.

He has the cutest “Imma punch you in the mouth” face.

Singing can sometimes be bloody uncomfortable. Especially when we are deep into our cups. WE think we sound freaking fabulous…when in reality we sound much like ass. The song sounds a little like “What Child is THIS?” eh Hamish? See foot…insert mouth. DERP!

We have Away in A Manger. Jamie sleeps in one right? Claire goes and trips over his sorry hide in Episode 4. Comparing Jamie to Jesus…its a bit much but if you spend ANY time on social media at all…you’ve seen it. Don’t even pretend.

Now don’t any prudes get their panties in a game of twister. This shit is funny right here. O Come O Come Emmanuel. You all better know where I am going with this one right here. It made me snort. Like snort, snort. Jamie had one helluva night on the Wedding episode. Yes, so did Claire but you know when you are the student – the MIND BLOWN moments were kinda awesome!

You know who is having a Blue Christmas? This GUY! Poor ole Frankmeister. Left alone to drown in his own sorrows.

He does have his own tribe of admirers though. Tobias’s Tribe. Lover’s of Frank. We have a few in our Heughliots group. Karen. She’s got it bad. Tobias fever. We thought about getting her fixed but we like her fine.

I know Christmas Carols have some lovely meaning to them, religious and deep. I want you all to remember, this blog. Isn’t. Its fun and shallow. Like a kiddie pool, without the pee. Please, don’t pee on the blog.

One of my FAVE parts of the show is when those boys, and yes, I call them boys are being boys. Rupert & Angus, the shinty game & of course when Dougal of all people is acting like a 12 yr old boy to get a laugh. This brings me to my next carol. Go Tell it on the Mountain!

Really this is the concept of non-evolution at its best. Men. They still do this. Hell…so do women. It’s called ENJOYING LIFE. Bewbies. They can be funny. Deal with it.

I refuse to end this fun without my favourite “I hate this guy” Mr.Creepy McCreeperson Nasty General Dual Face UGH! Randall. Of course his carol is simple. Mr.GRINCH!

Oh this carol suits you BJR…Big Jerk Randall.

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel,
You’re as cuddly as a cactus, you’re as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch,
You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch,
Your heart’s an empty hole,
Your brain is full of spiders, you have garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch,
I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch,
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch,
Given a choice between the two of you I’d take the seasick crocodile!

You’re a rotter, Mr. Grinch,
You’re the king of sinful sots,
Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch,
You’re a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch,
With a nauseous super “naus”!,
You’re a crooked dirty jockey and you drive a crooked hoss, Mr. Grinch,
Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!

You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch,
You’re a nasty wasty skunk,
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch,
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,
“Stink, stank, stunk”!

Yes, I know Diana has said she is BJR. I like to think she isn’t the part that puts a knife to the nipple of helpless women and goes flaccid when they stand up to her. Well..wait a second. I don’t think she CAN be that part *wink*

That wraps up our Christmas Carols meet Outlander. Oh CRAP…WRAP…OMG…I have so much wrapping left to do. Why the hell do you people let me get so distracted? Yes. Your fault!

You all are not good for me. Just saying.

Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Celebrate your Holiday with as much love and joy as humanly possible. If you are another species…then, have at ‘er!

With LOVE and AWESOMEBALLS,

SherryLynn & all of the other Heughliots

Cheers!

12 Days of Christmas – ABOotlander Style

December 9, 2014 by Sherry W.

It’s early ya say? Uh-huh. That’s what us Canadians do when we think we might get snowed in or some such nonsense. We take precautions and get stuff done. READ: So we can get our drink on.

So grab yourself snowbeer outta your snowfridge (It maybe a Canadian thing…it may not) and sing along.

We’re no dummies! Hold onto yer toques, cuz here we go!

Sing it with us...

ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY JAMIE GAVE TO MEEEEEEEEEE:

Twelve ABOot-hearts a drumming

x’s 12 of these suckers…ummmm pounders…we are literal around here.

Shameless self promotion for our freaking fabulous group of Heughliots. Yeah that’s right. US. Well, a box of 12 assorted us’s anyway.

Eleven Highland Pipers

No matter how you flip your screen over or blow their sporrans…the kilts will not move. Someone told me.

These lovely laddies are from the Seaforth Highlanders of Canada. They, are in fact based out of B.C. but they DO perform in Alberta. We are equal opportunity here with the ABOotlanders. Lots of B.C. fangirls. We are preachin it!

Honest- we were going to say something about 11 pipeliners…cuz you know. Oil n stuff…our Scottish friends – we have that in common, but politics – like unshaven legs, makes prickly bedfellows so, nope, not saying NUTHIN ’bout THAT!

Ten Redcoats fleeing

We know…We know…there are not 10 Red Coats in the picture. The way I see it, once the tears in your eyes blur your vision enough, it will LOOK like 10. I …can’t…stop…laughing.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SeB9neyRYIc/S_hZrr2p9cI/AAAAAAAAAgg/Blc9jMZQIIY/s1600/Breakers+Red+Coats.jpg

I don’t why I found this but I did…and I almost pee’d

Nine druids dancing

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ummm sure 8 & 9. Yup. Right there. Behind that stone.

Passed out. Bit drunk. Friends of Claire and let’s face it…any friend of Claire is a friend of ours.

Next Soberphobic meeting is at the Bothy…local pub,next month. Be there or be square! Naturally we must mention, The Bothy was voted one of THE top Bars in CANADA . Look ! All you have to do is google “Best Whisky Bar in Edmonton” the google machine does not lie. Right?

Eight maids a waulking…wool

(See, it isn’t just Canadians that throw random “u”‘s in words.)

Waulking wool..wet…juicy wool. You know the pissy kind. It sets the dye faster.

This is just one of the things that Diana Gabaldon teaches us. The woman is a walking encyclopedia. To learn from her just GO HERE!

Seven corns a grindin’

Grinding what? You might ask? Who, I might suggest.

We have the sweet Candy Corn. The Canned English Corned Beef. The 4 cobs of Corn…one looks a bit stunted in his niblets, does he not? Oh, we could not forget our Ole horn dog…*ahem* Corn Dog. (And that’s his stick! STICK. You dirty bunch of…)

Six; bad advice for laying

…frig knows Jamie got enough to pass on. Let’s see. Where shall we start?

6– Go as fast as ya can. Get it over with! FOREPLAY is a word…a long word for a reason. *Bad Advice Rating- 8 STARS*

5– Always do it from behind. Granted, the faces ya all make can be a bit of a turn off, we do like to kiss your faces and sometimes you look super cute. *Bad Advice Rating -5 STARS- from behind is sometimes fun*

4– Don’t take your shirt or boots off. No one wants to see you naked. The reason our happy parts are so far down is so we can have fun taking our clothes off to get to them. SHEESH! *Bad Advice Rating- 7 STARS- Socks are a different story in Canada in the winter…effin cold out there.*

3– Don’t talk during sex. It’s distracting. Pardon? This might be the most important time to communicate. That hurts. That feels good. Stop that. Do that more. *Bad Advice Rating -7 Stars- If you are talking about whats on the TO-DO list for tomorrow…and it isn’t me, then we have a problem.*

2– Stay in one position. Don’t move. That’s a sure fire way to get a cramp. Switch it up. Get creative. Be the twister of the bed sheets. *Bad Advice Rating -8 Stars- That kinda non-action can be …yawn…pretty boring…monotony in the bedroom…no fun.

1– Spit on it. JUST NO. *Bad Advice Rating -100 Stars- JUST NO!

Five goooooooolden drammmmmmmmms (of Whisky!)

…and yes…we KNOW shots are WAY more than drams but – this was way more fun.

We took bets would Tammy pull a “Jamie on a boat”, or would Tammy not pull a “Jamie on a boat”. We MEAN PUKE…*sigh* … can’t say any damn thing around you people. She didn’t. Sweet Jezuz was the ride home interesting though!

Four Calling Clansmen

– or women in a parkling lot after a party- ya know…whateves.

There were no Heughliots hurt in the making of this video. Except maybe feelings.

Three French Hooooooors

We might not be french but we are a reasonable facsimile for the other thing.

Two beavers ahhh..rogering

Hey we’re Canadian – Our porn is on the national geoGRAPHICside. Unshaved beavers EVERYWHERE. If you thought…for 2 seconds, you were going to get through this CANADIAN blog…without seeing or hearing about beavers, that is your own fault. Remember…fool me once, shame on you – fool me twice, shame on me…fool me three times… it must be CHRISTMAS. Besides, its Toger. THE cutest damn beaver in history. He even has a story.

Even our mascot Toger has to look for some love outside of getting harassed by wee Angus.

And a pearl necklace draped o’er ME

The PEARL Necklace and all insinuation that goes with it.

Yes. Me. We understand that “ME” means you…and YOU…and YOU. WE…get it.

We certainly hope you enjoyed the HEUGHLIOTS take on the 12 days of Christmas. We were early for Thanksgiving. We brought #Droughtlander to you. We only thought it right the 12 days be a smidge early too.

With that…

Nollaig chridheil agus bliadhna mhath ùr!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

From the Heughliots of ALBERTA

ALL 167 locals that is

Here, you have a small # of the Heughliots in the Wild. A rare creature…don’t turn your back on them. You may find yourself goosed or better.

This blog brought to you by the twisted minds of Admin Tammy & SL Heughliot @ Large and many random suggestions & ideas from the HEUGHLIOT ladies *ahem* (term used lightly / loosely) event.

Please feel free to comment. We read everything #AssumingPositiveIntent so even if you are trying to be mean…it will only stick to you-

To Excite and Entice. No?

Fangirling Vs. Jealous Stalking

December 1, 2014 by Sherry W.

The Heughliots are all about LOVE, LAUGHTER, LIGHT!
The heart of supporting a fandom should be just that. What you focus on expands. We all deserve to have our professional & private lives to be just that. Separate. #BeKind

SL Heughliot @Large

Outlander Musings

I came across a tweet today that finally made me want to strangle someone concerning Outlander and Sam himself.

I’ve let a lot of the pet peeves I have with the Outlandish Community slide because many of our newbies are young or just trying to have fun in the Outlander Universe, but this is something I cannot ignore.

In the tweet, one of Sam’s followers asked Sam to watch out because some were harassing a lady he had been seen with, then proceeding to harass those in the fandom who would defend the lady…

Fan girl: a girl or female who is a fan of someone or something and expresses love for said person or thing in silly, innocent and often amusing ways….showing benign love.

Stalker: someone who doesn’t see reality, but are obsessed with someone, and seeks to cause rifts and harm and harassment to those around their obsession…

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Ten Outlandish Things Canadians are Thankful for this Thanksgiving

November 27, 2014 by Sherry W.

ABOotlanders w/Sherry

Let’s REBLOG for our American Friends who are Celebrating THEIR Thanksgiving…you know late. At least us Canadians will be ready for the next Turkey coma that is up in just a few more wks for Christmas. We don’t know how you people do it. You are true turkey troopers!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING OUTLANDER FRIENDS!

As you may or may not know, this weekend is the second one in October. To Canadians this is Thanksgiving weekend, when we stuff a dead bird (preferably Turkey- magpies are harder to catch), stuff our face with pie, and yes, boil up that corn, and stuff.

We also talk about what we’re thankful for. There’s no Black-Jack Friday, but there might be football, yes CANADIAN football (and we have bigger…. err fields, ya ken? And we go down one less, because we get it done sooner…) And WOOHOO!!! Finally us Canadians get to do something before the…

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Idle minds start an Outlander Styled Commune on Deserted Scottish Isle. Way To Go Starz.

November 14, 2014 by Sherry W.

Now you’ve done it! 165 women…and counting- because wait until the other Outlander ladies in Alberta here about THIS plan. They are gonna be ALL up in our grill. It is going to be like an episode of the Littlest Hobo being followed down that secluded highway in the middle of Ontario- only they will be on the shoulder of the QE 2 in Alberta…so much more dangerous. We are badasses like that, doncha know.

Maybe tomorrow, I’ll want to settle down…in Scotland…LET’S GO MY BITCHES!

It has come to our attention there is an Island for sale in the extreme north of Scotland. We have mentioned we are Canadian right. Extreme north is like saying our BACKYARD. No biggy eh? They also said it was a LONELY island. All that envokes from these Canadian lasses is a in unison “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww – it’s loooooonely. It needs a big ole Canadian bear hug. Poor little scottish isle!”

So…what do the Heughliots decide? We are a smarticle bunch I tell you. It’s like we can solve all the worlds problem from a FB group.

So. It’s 250,000 pounds stirling you say eh buddy? Ok…so we do the conversion. Well, google does the conversion. Let’s not be silly. That makes it $444,896.03 Canadian dollars. (That does change by the hour so don’t send me an email telling me I’m wrong) There are 165 Heughliots, this means MATH. I am not good at it but there is this real cool thing called a CAL-CU-LATOR that does the math for me. $2696.34 a piece. We are not dumb girls (well except the Math thing – and that’s just me). We figure if we throw in $4000 a piece, we get the isle, lawyer fees & our airfare. Sorry- not sorry- family – I AM disappearing. Our exotic Consuelo, thinks if you jack your investment to $6000 you also get to be one of the big guns that get first stake on the land holdings. It’s a good thing Raylean knows her math, she will be the isles accountant and sheriff, that way we can push her in a cell pretty easy if we have to.

The isle doesn’t seem too mountainous, so we need to build a munro. We figure we will build it of live lassies. And invite Sam Heughan and his friends to come bagg us. I think it would make for a fun interactive afternoon and could be quite challenging for all of us!

BEST MUNRO EVER!

So yeah…we are getting shit figured out here right good. Kathy P. She is a mental health teacher and obviously girlfriend has her work cut out for her with this lot. She might just have the hardest job on the island so she is very important to us. Not to mention she will be channeling her inner Ian because she is a wicked hand with a bow and can fish like Rollo. Really, this girl will be guarded. Tammy & Christine will be her Angus and Rupert. They may be drunk on the whisky cache half the time but that’s ok. Girls gotta do what girls gotta do. Plus think, if Cait gets a day off from filming. She has some like minded women to escape to. Eat, drink & drink. Drink some more. I am pretty sure Karen will learn how to make the stuff…

I am pretty sure our whisky cache will last 3 hours, 22 minutes and 33 seconds.

We are pretty modern folk, and this island, even though, we wouldn’t be going “back” in time, doesn’t have running water and power would need to be wind generated. Obviously, we have PLENTY of hot air. It will be a bit of life lesson for most of us. I am thinking many of our members will be bar wenches and on our board of directors. It has been spoken by Raylean & Lee that body searches and auditions from the mainland WILL be needed. In fact, they are demanding them. Naturally- some of these Moms will want to bring their children. I demand we put the wee buggers into servitude.

UGH! Children

But for the jobs those little weak people can’t do and the houses they can’t build, we need to hire some hot men in kilts. JOB FAIR TIME! We expect a HUGE influx of hot men in kilts in canoes (they have canoes in Scotland don’t they?) Anyway, they will paddle their way into our hearts. Across the loch to Linga they will come. Applying for all the jobs we don’t want to do, but want to WATCH them do. Imagine them walking up the sandy shores into the cells we have built for them. Oh …um…wait. Delete that last statement from your frontal lobe.

Heeeeeere’s HOWIE! This man and his 21 St Century Kilts! Yeah…I have a business boner for this guy! He makes kilts…hot kilts!Wait, that’s redundant!

That sounded a bit crazy. We wont lock them up all the time, we do expect them to earn their keep.

Yup, that’ll do it

The more we discuss this. The more it seems to be a reality in our fantasies.

My friends. The Canadian government got rid of the penny last year. This means the Heughliots have a lot of damn pennies laying around. They are in our junk drawers in the kitchen. They are rolled in our basement laundry room. They are in our spare room closets. They are also in our kids underwear drawers and on top of our fridges in a bowl or old coffee mug. We have them in our offices, in our pen holders…in short, no wait, that was long – we have damn pennies EVERYWHERE! So we can afford the adorable lil island that is hugged by the Shetland Islands…like EASY!

Scottich Isle of Linga…FOR REALS!

As you might have noticed, are an eclectic group. We can make this a functional, effective & productive place. We have lots of talent too. Cathy, has the nursing covered. So she is our Claire…she can take care of anyone that needs it. Vitalia is our herbalist. She makes all sort of neat stuff, medicines & organic off the land foods, shampoos, candles, this neat stuff called Poo-be-Gone that makes your shit not stink (not that mine does anyway but these other folks…-our privies are going to smell like roses).She’s like a witch! If she goes of the rails…we will have our first trial and burn her or something fun like that.

Sharon, she knits all sorts of Mrs. Fitz type stuff. So she will keep super busy keeping us all warm! Girlfriend has mad skills! Sandra can bake bread so she and Consuelo will cook up a storm. Us bitches need food. They’s cray cray but we will put up with them if they feed us. It’s simple. There are plenty of Mom’s on our group – so they can chip in there. Kerri is our animal whisperer. There is lots of wildlife on that island…some we will eat. Some we will train – rephrase- some Kerri will train.

Personally, I love to tell people what to do & how to do it so I will keep these people from killing each other.

Plus, I can shoot a gun. I won’t clean what I shoot…there is bound to be someone there that will. We brought the men in for more than one reason…speaking of which-

Red will run our Bawdy house…you know, some of those boys will probably just be pretty. Everyone will have a place.

We have someone that will be keeping chronicle of our time there. Nikki…she is a great artist so she will be painting as we go. Like Brianna would have if she had come along with us…and if she gets crabbit and bitchy…we will take turns calling her Jocasta. Hmmmm, wait, never mind, I don’t want me to go down in history looking like this.

Kim keeps us all in check and will be our pseudo lawyer- Nedesque. Wendy & Wendy are jacks of all trades plus Cheryl & her mom Lesley babysit us all. Everyone needs the Bugs – well, without the psycho part. This is the commune that has it all. You know you wanna hang with us. We will have a Bed & Breakfast on the Isle and will start taking reservations in 2016.

May I mention, the last known inhabitant of this island…1931 was CAPTAIN JAMES FRASER!!!

WHAT THE WHA?!?!

That is some crazy jacked up shit! I really wonder if the seller threw that in there to get some crazy Outlander fan to buy the island. Cuz…ummm…if they did. IT WORKED. 165 of us are throwing our pennies in the pot! We might want to bring some of that with us. You know…to keep things interesting!

Go ahead, leave a comment, tell us how crazy we are- not that we aren’t aware.

SL Heughliot @ Large-

Here is a wee PostScript – there is an island for sale. No…the heughliots are not buying it. Satire my friends. Like 99.99% of all of our blog spurts. We aren’t very good at serious.

Tappin’ the vein. Cracklander meeting commences

November 8, 2014 by Sherry W.

That’s right. The #Droughtlander continues. THAT wasn’t a giddy moment in the lives of these lil Canadian Heughliots when Outlander Starz used our cray cray tags from our Canada Dry blog spurt. Super exciting. We were high fiving all over the interwebs. Yeah, sorry if we got carried away and smacked ya in the face…you might have been too close & got in our bubble.

Either way, my name is Sher…it’s been 2 hours since my last viewing of an episode of Outlander- it was The Wedding. It has been 15 minutes since my last Google search of Sam or Cait or Graham or Grant or Stephen or Ron or Terry or Diana (who by the way is in DisneyLand, my favourite place on earth!)

Diana enjoying some time in DisneyLand with Pluto AKA Rollo. This is not stalking. This is enjoying the tweets of someone I love…I mean…admire.

At present I have 5 6 tabs open on my laptop that involve Outlander in someway. They are 1) Facebook 2) Twitter 3) Reddit, 4) an online photoeditor 5) an online gif creator oh…6) YouTube… I am wearing my Heughligans shirt today. I have both MOBY on a second re-read and Outlander on my KOBO for my gazillionth (it’s a friggen number – clapper your gob) read. This is because my Jamie has me reading it to him as he falls asleep each night now.

This is the story of a Cracklander and what a meeting of Outlander Unanimous (yes, there aren’t many of us who are anonymous – really?!) might sound like. However. I don’t want your help. I don’t want a cure. Frankly I don’t think a cure is necessary. I am not hurting anyone.

SEE?! See how innocent I am? *pout*

I want to roll around in the joy that is SCOTLAND and Jamie n Claire…they are one being but we shall never trivialize them by giving them a stupid connected name like Clamie cuz…well CLAMIE! Go ahead – say it…STUPID! or Jaire. See…don’t anyone ever do it. If you do I will come to your house with maple syrup and a hockey stick. Use your imagination. It ain’t pretty. It just ain’t.

Either way honey you are ending up with missing teeth. Just sayin

That picture ends up with someone missing teeth. It aint me, just sayin

Us Cracklanders, must search for veins to tap into.

It used to be harder, 5, 10 even 20 years ago. Searching through used books stores, scraping the internet & peeking in on Diana through compuserve & always checking her website for any update…but NOW we find them.

They are everywhere now! In the form of memes. Blogs. Podcasts. Pins on Pinterest. Endless gifs & Video clips on Tumblr accounts. You tube videos. OMG its like FREE METH for a JUNKIE! These people are our suppliers and our flop houses. You do an incredible service to us. I want to pay tribute to you. Here and Now!

We bow to you.

Lets remember many of the fans in this particular fandom…are new. New to fandoms. New to the world of…this. New to memes.Blogs. Podcasts. Gifs. Video clips. Tumblr…especially tumblr (infact, some still think you are spelling it wrong) and YouTube. With this being said – I don’t really expect too much slack to be cut but maybe a little pat on the head understanding “They know not what they speak.” “They know not what they do.” is called for.

I appreciate every bit of the goods that are delivered. It takes all of these people time, dedication and PASSION. No matter if it’s my drug of choice. It is someones, it is made for them & that is what matters. Each fan has their own vein, something that will fill that need & in the fandom there is a supplier giving it to them. We all don’t have to love what is being put out there but we all don’t have to take it. Skip to the next one, they might have something you want. This is what is going to get us through to April my people. You are my people. Cracklanders deal with the droughtlander together. We water each others petals. Heehee … that sounded dirty. I liked it.

I know lots of folks think its bad taste I talk about Outlander like its a drug…BUT…know something? Here is a secret. Its not a drug…it’s a TV show and I am using the fact that I’m obsessed to joke around. I’m really NOT addicted physically, but it’s a play on words and if you happen to have a sense of humour then this is where shit tends to get funny. Oh right, then there is the swearing that some don’t like. I can’t do anything about that. Canadians have this built in genetic code…it makes us swear.

If you are reading this, are Canadian and you don’t swear. You’re defective! Get that shit checked out. Our healthcare is free – won’t cost a thing for that bloodtest. If you are from someplace else and you are sensitive to these things…ummmm…here’s a hug

We swear but we aren’t heartless…sheesh

You know, you don’t have to hit flop house status every day but binging…it ain’t bad. You have company.

Enjoy your #Cracklander friends. We are here for you, with you and by you! It’s time to pour yourself a big ass glass of your favourite tipple, put on your favourite episode or re-read the next book on your list. It’s the way you do it.

My favourite new game! I SEE YOU!

Please feel free to leave your comments, you know, if they are nice…I have this lil expression “Taste your words before you type them and if you wouldn’t say them out loud to someone you truly love…don’t type them to a stranger.”

*WINK*

SL Heughliot @ Large

Can Outlander change Mr. Canoehead into a kilted warrior? Well a girl can dream!

October 27, 2014 by Sherry W.

A kilted Canoehead…well ya know. It’s a mythical creature.

Some of our men are making a right good attempt at it. Yes, that’s proper Canadian grammar. Look it up. Its in the Canadian Websters Grammar Book of ~~Good~~ Well Grammar.

See. YOU GOT IT

The Heughliots are an interesting lot. Some of us, like me, have been in very long relationships. Mine began when I was a mere stupid lass of 14. Oh be quiet…we are ALL stupid at 14. I ended up marrying that guy (thank whoever you want to thank, because boy I did shameful things with him…) I’m now *mumble* *mumble. We have been together a VERRA long time. He has been listening to me talk about one James Fraser for going on 20 yrs now. So much so that when the announcement of the TV show was made his reaction was a solid – No. Not THAT.

No. I do not like this at all. Not one bit. No.

We will get into that more later shall we?

The Heuliots have our collection of the single ladies

So Many Single Ladies- maybe not all “ladies” – we use the term loosely

Heughliots w boy friends, boytoys, girlfriends,girltoys or pets

As long as they play nice they fall into one of the 5 catagories

Heughliots who are in relationships & have young kids who have to run for quickies in the bathroom while Dora is on…Yeah…that’s a thing. Poor buggers. I lived there once.

And some happily romancing Jamie instead. Yes, I can see where the imagination is a nicer place to be sometimes. You go girls!

Me and Jamie are happy – in my dreams. That’s a real place. Bite ME!

As you can see the Heuliots are a motley crew of women with all sorts of relationship experience to pull from. It shows you that we make up a great sample of what the fandom looks like. Sure, we are Canadian…sure we are weird…but I can assure you – most of this fandom – just a weeeee bit touched in the ole brain cavity.

We are not crazy…we are mentally hill-hairy-ass!

Before I completely forget that this blurb is NOT all about us, it’s about our partners too, let me put this train back on the rails.

Many of us have had to get our partners on board with this ride. For me, it took some work. Mine whined Jamie’s name when ever he said it. “Jaaaaaaaamie”. He had a major hate on for my book boyfriend. Then he met him and was like “Well shit. Now I know why you have been crushing on him all these years, he IS the bloody King of Men…this is RIDICULOUS!” Then of course he has a debt to owe the man. Go back a few blogs to be reminded of that would you?

Other HeughliHusbands are realizing quickly that Outlander is not all about the book porn. This is what of course they think we have been reading for 20 yrs. Yep, they thought this was our version of Hustler, but it was confusing to them because it didn’t have pictures. Throw back at them…”Well I thought you read THAT for the articles?” Aaaaanyway. The first episode didn’t help our argument because well…SEX…bewbies…the oral SEX…they were like “I was right…it is PORN!”

I was Right! I was Right! I was Right! I was Right!

Well played Ron.D.Moore. Well played. You sucked those boys in and they didn’t even see it coming. Then you shot muskets. Played loud music. Showed gory bones out of joint and blood. Well played sir. You did it. You hooked them.

We have some partners who are still needing translation. It can get pretty comical at times. Admin Tammy had this conversation with her hubby discussing the wedding night. There is the lovely moment when Jamie is describing the colours in Claire’s Hair – her husband says to her – “What is so hot about the brown water and the dark spots in the water in a BARN???”

Barn water. That’s disgusting. Why does she think that’s romantic. What am I missing here? I have to be missing something don’t I?

After she could breathe again she explained to him… Burn… Jamie says burn not barn – burn as in a stream! Can you imagine what dark and brown barn water would be??? YEUCKKKK!!!

I certainly have had to listen to my fair share of shagging with wee beastie comments. I believe my husband and Rupert are kindred spirits. Once Rupert made that comment about Angus- and he replayed it 4 times until he heard the whole scene clearly. He makes jokes about the chickens, goats, horses & “shaggy” cows & why some Scotsmen wear boots with their kilts. Clearly knowing he is climbing hill-hairy-ass! The commentary is quite entertaining.

The cool part is, my hubs likes to score brownie points. So he calls me things like Sassanach. Before the show aired…his pathetic attempts sounded like Sasquatch & Saskatchewan. Yup. Right there buddy. At that point he only had my saying it to him and not “getting it.” Now hearing it himself and “seeing” the reaction and getting the results. Yup…he let’s common sense motivate him.

Now that we are waiting until April for the next 8 Episodes, he wants to know what happens next. However, he is not a reader. If it isn’t on glossy pages and doesn’t fall over the back of the toilet…he won’t read it. So, after forever, he has me reading it to him before bed each night. He likes the differences, however gets a little annoyed by the descriptive nature of the book. He’s a dude, he likes to get to the point. That’s ok. We are enjoying this new experience. My scottish accent is getting better. Well I think it is…shuddup.

Some of the other men in our lives are not seeing the benefit of embracing the world of Outlander. They could be getting so much more action. Keeping so much warmer this winter and have a much happier partner. Take the damn canoe off your head and see the light people. See the Sassenach at the end of the stones! Or Claire in the Box…However you look at it – the end result is a good time had by all.

Get in the Box…it’s warm in the box.

Well it’s marathon time in my house. I have to prepare. This means getting the most comfortable blankey, hitting up Kernels for dill pickle popcorn ( Love how it burns the first 3 layers of taste buds off my tongue) & getting some Disaronno for sipping aka gulping. For those who thought I meant running marathon. You are on the real kind of crack…not my kinda crack…which ends in lander.

I know how to survive this Droughlander. I will not perish.

SL Heughliot @ Large

Canada Strong.

October 22, 2014 by Sherry W.

It is a phrase being used a lot today. Our country is large, our country is strong and our country is free. However, our country is not immune to threat and our country has been shown that today.

Yes, I know this blog is reserved for Outlander related blurts but you know something, it is also Canadian through and through.

Today,it’s about Canada. Everyone of us Outlandish Canadians are thinking about one another for another reason today and dammit, we want to talk about it. We are walking around with lumps in our throats and tears in our eyes and we want to give one another a hug. So, the Heughliots are here to do just that.

Snuggle in friends

What happened this morning in Canada you ask? A Soldier, Cpl Nathan Cirillo,24 (who was a member of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders, stationed out of Hamilton ONT) -was doing his duty, standing guard over our National Memorial – which also is the home of our tomb of the Unknown Soldier. He was shot in the chest and even though first respondents and many others tried to save him, they could not, and he lost his life. This person who killed him, proceeded to go into the Nationals capital parliament building in order to cause more mayhem, where he was then killed by those protecting other Canadians.

Our focus here is not the offender or the why of today. Our focus is with those who we believe deserve the focus.

-Cpl. Nathan Cirillo and all the other men & women who put on their uniforms to “Stand on guard for THEE”.

-Those who came to their aide. To ALL of our aide when called upon and even when NOT called.

-Those who put their badges to their chest this day and everyday, knowing their life may be on the line for ours.

-Those who silently wait to be called when someone is hurt, lost or alone and rarely receive the thank you’s or accolades they should.

Together we stand strong against those who try our singularity. Together we show one another compassion, hope and pride in who we are as a nation.

I have always been proud to be a Canadian. It starts when we are small.

Yes, It is heartbreaking to know that there are people who hate what we are proud of…simply because of the unity it represents. As Canadians though, we won’t stop being who we are. It is ingrained in us. Like Maple Syrup tapping…you can’t just NOT do it anymore.

stock-footage-maple-tree-tapped-to-harvest-sap-for-maple-syrup-dripping-into-a-bucket (1)

Just because you take out the tap…doesn’t mean the syrups not there.

Our Military, our Police, First Respondents (Fire, EMS and all those who put on a uniform each day that shows they put others lives before their own) deserve more than an extra thought today.

It is here that we send them our love & deepest gratitude.

(Photo has been removed as it has been now noted it is Cpl Nathan Cirillo prior to his death. This was not my understanding when photo was originally presented to the public.)

When one falls…We all will stand. With one another, with our neighbours to the south and across the ocean.

You get the picture.

CANADA STRONG.

Heughliot @ Large

Canada Dry…not the pop- the time between Outlander Episodes 8 & 9. ORIGINAL

October 15, 2014 by Sherry W.

Here we sit. Waiting. This is what happens when you get addicted – Cracklander. You binge out and then there is a dry spell in town, problem is, we can’t hop in the car and go to the big city to score a hit or call Creepy Uncle Jack that Mom doesn’t ever want us to talk to…we have to wait it out.

Do I look impressed? No…it’s because I’m not.

So, we wait. It’s a reallllll good thing that I have a shit load of friends waiting with me, tappin their own veins until episode 9 airs. Our American friends at least “know” their kill switch date. Up here, in the great white…well…we can only hope that Showcase gets it right this time. HINT HINT! Nope. I am NOT known for subtly.

Can you hear me NOW?!

As much as we like leftovers, we prefer not to have them – every – single – meal. Knowhatimsayin?

So? What shall we do while we wait? I have some suggestions for you.

Not all of them are practical and not all of them will particularly help ease the pain.

We tend to either state the obvious, be incredibly sarcastic or…you know…pull shit like this.

When have you known me to be practical or helpful? I’m here to entertain… or create a reasonable facsimile of humour in some form. I think you may be getting used to that concept by now eh?

We have to FIRST stop complaining that there is a break. There’s a break. Will complaining stop the break? Nooooooo…the break does not stop with the complaining. Yes, I am saying this to myself just as much as I am saying it to everybody else.

Even Jack can’t take it any more

The next step is to DO something about it. We have to pass the time somehow. So LET’S get creative! Sure, some of us can knit (not me), some can make WONDERFUL fan videos, (not me), some can paint or draw, (not me) so the Not Me’s of the world…must do other things…here are some suggestions.

Take them in the spirit they are intended.