10 times! You pricked my what with your what?

April 15, 2015 by Sherry W.

We have made it into the DOUBLE DIGITS my people! 10 Episodes in & wowsers numero ten-o was a TEN alright. This is a whole lotta awesome jam packed into one episode…I like it like that.

Everyone involved in the production of OUTLANDER! THAT’S WHO!

First they start the episode with a cockin of a pistol…uh-huh. I know most people missed that lil reference. Me however – I never miss a cocking. Then *phew* was it hot in there or was it just me?

Girl…So hawt. Tres hawt.

Claire. Claire. Claire. It seems…Wheaties ain’t got nothing on you. You. Are The Breakfast Of Champions! (Well at least one champion we all know & love) Talk about starting your morning off with a bang. Oh wait…they didn’t quite make it that far did they? THANKS Murtagh! Seems Murtagh “SceneStealingEyeBrowRaisin’SexyTimeInterrupting” Fraser just does not know when to stop knockin so others can continue knockin.(boots that is). At least Jamie had the decency to finish the job he started before answering the door. Finished it diligently & thoroughly. According to the sounds Claire was making, quite loudly. Those doors…must be pretty damn thick, or Murtagh hasn’t cleaned the shit outta his ears in quite some time if he didn’t pick up on her satisfactory tones. There must have been at least once in Murtagh’s life he encountered a very sexually satisfied woman, because he recognized pretty quick when he saw it laying in bed. He had the where with all to at least look a bit abashed at the interruption. That last all of about a microsecond. Murtagh wastes no time! Being Jamie’s own personal town crier he let him know what was up. The Dink of Sandwiches…hmmm…nope…Dude of Boysaks…nope… Oh right. Duke of Sandringham,

This might help ring your Dukely Bell

(The last guess was pretty close -Just saying *ahem*) is in the area so now is the time to try and get Jamie off the hook for the murder of the English dragoon. That everyone knows Creepy Captain Jackoff Randall killed- not Jamie. Claire’s tingle factor has gone down substantially now that Murtagh & his eyebrows have entered the room. She has started hearing the chatter & remembering her previous life. She is not inclined to let Jamie trust Duke BootyHammer, no way no how! She lets the fellas know its because Creepy n Booty are in bed together…well…now there’s a thought isn’t it? *shudder* Jamie takes off w Murtagh to talk to Ned “iknoweverything” Gowan. At first he’s like “This is hopeless give it up”…but NO I am the great and powerful Neddie Can DO, I can fix anything you can screw up. Murtagh of course just want to hand out a hanging. Why not? If one person would look good with a rope neck tie…it’s Creep Master General! Chances are he would be using it for something kinky though. Don’t digress like I just did, the visuals ARE disturbing. Claire, left to her own devices for a while means BIZNEZ! She is not letting Laoghaire leave nasty shit under HER bed. Nu-uh! At first Laoghaire “WHO ME?” MacKenzie plays blonde and pretends she has no idea what Claire is getting at with the ill wish but she can’t hold onto the mental stability table for long. One of the table legs give out from under her as soon as Claire says “He’s just not into you.”

SNAP! Spoiled girl goes CRAYCRAY

That sends Loose Laoghaire straight over the castle walls and into the dismal mean girl zone. Declaring that Jamie is hers, always was hers & ONE DAY WILL BE AGAIN. Book fans all over the globe groan. Yeah…because we know she isn’t all that insane after all, is she now? Then she hits Claire below the belt. Saying Jamie must have to get himself drunk in order to hit the sheets with her cold english ass. Claire does not take this lightly and bitch slaps her. Pretty sure I heard cheers all the way from my newfie friends. Not sure why but Claire apologized – I thought a throat punch may have been more effective. Ummm…that was my outside voice wasn’t it? That’s gonna get me in trouble one day. Again. Then just when Claire felt bad for smacking the spoilt wee nit, LooseLips Laoghaire keep flappin her gums & tells her the only “friend” in the world she has is the one that sold her the illwish in the first place. Way to go Geillis. How’s that knife feel Claire, buddy ole pal? Deep enough for ya?

Awww somebody just got hurt real bad. Not cool.

Claire, never one to leave well enough alone, goes in search of Geillis. She finds F’arthur instead. In serious agony with rumblies in his tumblies. She passes along some medicine to his maid before he orders her to be gone. The maid however passes a little message to Claire that Geillis will be in the woods just before dawn if she really wants to meet her. Won’t be anything weird about that will there?

It wasn’t weird- per say. Mystical. Voyeuristic. Mesmerizing. I couldn’t pull my eyes away. The wee squeaks, moans & panting sounds the witch was making…because no one in their right mind can deny it now. Girlfriend. She IS a witch. (If if dances like a witch, chants like a witch & blows smoke like a witch…it’s a damn witch). Honestly, I felt more dirty watching her with her arcorns than I did while Jamie was having his breakfast.

So uncomfortable. Must watch!

That, my friends, is a stunning testament to Lotte VerBeeks acting ability. She KILLED that scene. Along with a few people…(that to come). I really enjoyed the editing as well, Claire seeing the druid dancers flashing back with Geillis. Cool trick bro.

The dialogue between Claire and Geillis after her ummm…summonsing was – entertaining. Acting like this was the most normal thing she could have been up to and Claire looking at her like. You KNOW you are cracked right? But…you’re my only friend…kinda…MAN I am SO desperate for friends I will even take the likes of YOU!

Geillis, thank goodness packed some clothes, I was worried she was going to contract a case of nipplitis that not even Claire could cure. In case you are wondering. Nipplitis. TOTALLY a thing. Serious condition here in Canada. Many women suffer from this, such a tragedy.

That coat she was wearing. Pure genius on the part of Terry & friends in the costume department. Read about it here. Super cool. She looks like someone who had just rolled off the crazy faery hillside. They mended all their fences, Geillis fed Claire some bullshit story that she didn’t know the ill wish was for her *cough* yeah right *cough*. Since she knew the illwish was a bunch of pussywillows & sticks all wrapped up with string, it didn’t matter at all to her anyway. It was just like when Claire gave the stupid little girl a vile of horse poop. You see, they are connected those two. They walk through the woods, they chat, or Geillis gossips, about Dougal, his ugly wife. Her words not mine. Gifts she has been given, their love, their baby.

Then we hear…a baby. They both hear it but only one of them cares. 3 guesses…first 2 don’t count! Claire wants to go to the crying baby & Geillis explains to her that its a Faery hill & even though SHE is the one dressed for the event, neither of them should go ANYWHERE near that damned hill! Those parents left that baby there on purpose so the faeries could give their healthy baby back that they stole from them & take that sick faery back. You know, weird shit like that. Silly superstitious nonsense & Claire knew it. Claire also knew the baby was just not thriving and probably could get better…maybe could. Geillis was like..”Screw You… after I just blew all that smoke up your ass about being my friend and how you could get me burnt at the stake…nope you are on your own – I am out! Later!”

Geillis’s cat stunt double

Claire, once again on her own & traipsing through the woods, lost & alone. She REALLY should stop doing this. It never ends well. Like. EVER. She hears some ragged coughs a few gasps of breath…the crying stops. Never a good sign. A few moments later closer to the top of the hill there is a huge tree w a small bundle. This just ain’t right. Nothing about this is right. She takes the bundle from the tree. We all know what she finds isn’t good. The baby is dead and there isn’t anything she can do for it. She does what we many would do. Sits down & grieves for it.

More feels. They take over. Then the man on the horse shows up. Jamie. Damn, he rides in and so much becomes better. He speaks so gently to her. Even though she holds such venom for the superstitions that have taken this babies life. Jamie was raised with them…he is able to explain it to her without sounding ignorant. Giving her comfort too. *BIG SIGH* His voice & demeanor is like a massive HUG to the soul. JAMIE IS A SOUL HUG! I like it…I like it a lot. #SoulHugMoment. My favourite part of this moment was when Claire looked in Jamie’s eyes and asked him to take her HOME.

We then we come to the reading & signing of THE DOCUMENT! The petition of complaint. You know the one. The one that will go down in history. Claire knows it, I see the hesitancy on her face because she knows how Frank pours over documents like this. As soon as her signature is there then…BOOM. So is she.

We get to meet the Duke next & surprise! Claire is doing stuff she shouldn’t be doing but OH she should. Sticking her nose in where it shouldn’t be…but OH it should. Testing the waters so to speak. This is because Claire is from another time. No wallflower is she. She is putting hers firmly on the table with the Duke. Don’t screw with me dude! Your balls…are mine.

Considering he is used to dealing with men or boys…*ahem*…he isn’t quite sure how to deal with this one. So he hands over his set to her…for now. Let’s just say.

Back to the castle we go to watch one hell of a performance by Graham McTavish. Seriously Dougal. Go home…you’re drunk. Oh wait, you were home…kinda. Turns out, Geillis’s summonsing turned out to be pretty darned effective and Dougal’s wife caught a fever and boom, within days. Died. Dougal taken over by…not sure its grief or guilt got blithering drunk & went postal in the Great Hall. Colum – is not a happy camper. He sent out the fella’s to find Claire to mix up one of her sedatifs *wink* to settle him the hell down.

Dougal put on quite a show. Hollering & fighting anyone that got in his way. Crying about his poor dead wife, Maura, ummm…talking about how no one would have found her attractive – even a blind dude – but that she still didn’t deserve him. Yeah, point taken buddy. Angus, spry & smart, gathered up Claires sleeping potion. Enough to fell a horse apparently – cuz it did, into a bottle of port & gave cheers to Dougal’s dead wife encouraging Dougal to drink more, he did…then…TIMBER – down went the big man- not in the good way. Only took 6 of ’em to carry him out of the hall.

Geillis & Claire meet in the courtyard. Geillis is giddy her handy work was effective. Claire is thinking shes crazy- it was just a coincidence & besides you still have a husband remember? We get the GeillisGiggle. Only…it isn’t very funny is it?

Back to the Duke’s. Look who is in trews? Yup, Jamie. Our hero knows when he has to guard his back door doesn’t he? I mean…sure Murtagh is there but you can never be too careful can you?

The tete & tete & tete between them was…interesting and down right comical at times. The Duke touching Murtagh, it was like you could see it on his face he wanted to go & wash in the nearest trough or punch him in the nearest throat. *snort*. Having Jamie take part in the dual with him as his second for his scrubbing of his back. GREAT way to implement the story & HAHAHA! LOVED it.

There has been sooooo much speculation in the fandom since that dual clip came out & EVERYONE knew exactly what it was of course. Naturally NO ONE knew…this was BRILLIANT. Again. LOVE what they did. Not because I HAVE to but because it was SMART! The way the Duke petted Jamie’s face…his reaction. This was just awesome.

The Duke was apparently getting his fingers on everyone in the room 😛

SO much happened in the episode it was kinda epic really. The Great Hall was next & this is where…it didn’t take a summonsing. Geillis was done with F’Arthur. It was time his show came to a close…it was time for his grande finale! It was a huge dinner in honour of the Duke and cyanide was F’Arthurs main course. When he went down – Geillis pushed her chair back and let him – watched in silence – let Claire take care of business, pulled out a newspaper & cigarette…ok…maybe she didn’t do that but she sure looked disinterested those first few moments.

Everyone stood…agast…then she stood. She & Dougal made doe eyes across the crowded room. Over the foaming & dead mouth of her bloated body of a husband, a calculating Twistycone figuring out everything staring at them both…it was SO romantic!

SO MUCH SARCASM

Then…to the dual with the MacDonalds that Jamie has promised to be Dukie boys second for. It had to the be the most pathetic excuse for a dual like. Ever. Two what looked like old guys shooting blanks at each other. Then deciding to drink to it. It was the – what comes after that make it interesting. 3 nasty little MacDonald boys with little man syndrome have to start measuring each others wieners verbally. Jamie goes and makes a bit of a mistake – throws a “Yo Mama” joke at them but TURNS his back on them. At least the wee twit who goes after him had the presence of mind to yell “Buggering Sodomite” at him before he struck. Bit redundant isn’t he?

buggers sodomize…sodomites bugger…yes…yes

Here we get to see Jamie’s AWESOMENESS with a sword…n…stuff. He took a beating but kept on tickin! Damn that was fun to watch! I don’t suppose Jamie will want McDonalds for a while. I felt the same after the last time I had it too. But then again, I’m a glutard.

That was pretty funny shit when Duke TailBetweenmyLegs Sandringham came running over telling Jamie, “Now make sure you let your wife know THIS wasn’t my fault! Here, let me take this petition and get it taken care of. Buh Bye Now! You lay here and catch your breathe I’m going. I’m a big puss.”

Imma chickenshit

Not that Claire cared whose fault it was. Silent treatment was given when he was being stitched up. Pretty sure she regretted that with what was to follow.

Twistylegs McTwisterson pissing all over EVERYONE! Holy CRAP…little man anger is very loud and big. No one was free of his ire. Dougal couldn’t even CRY to get sympathy…the little meany LAUGHED at him when he did. So BANISHED! He banished Dougal to his home. Go home to your dead wife. You can’t be here for your pregnant mistress cuz she is a witch & a temptress…no way you are marrying her. I will take care of that shit! It is ABOUT TO GET REAL ‘ROUND HERE! Jamie…YOU are going too- without your wife. DON’T you talk or I will cut out that tongue you have become so good at using.

NOT the TONGUE!

Seriously Twisty…that was going too far. Pulling the tongue card. How incredibly UNJUST! And for the record young Jamie…you will be BABYSITTING Dougal. You have displeased the wee king of the castle SO much by shedding McDonald blood without HIS permission, you are being punished too. WTG Jamie. So not cool.

Now, time for Jamie & Claire to say their goodbyes. What’s the first thing Jamie says to her? STAY AWAY from Geillis Duncan because TwistyLegs plans on punishing her. STAY AWAY! BE CAREFUL. She says she will – but we know better.

She NEVER listens. Never. Never. Listens.

So Jamie swallows her goodbye. *snort* Good one Dougal. Way to break up the feels. Real kneeslapper!

The tender loving moments between Jamie & Claire capture us now don’t they? *sigh* He rides off with her watching him. She tells him to come back to her “As soon as I can” he says and kisses her forhead. Collective FanSigh.

Next up…Tomas Tomas Tomas…sure he looks scared poopless but really kid. This woman saved your life & now you’re passing her this fake note to send her to Geillis? *sigh*

This is what our note would have said.

Claire confronts Geillis on poisoning F’Arthur, she is scandalized & completely out to lunch. Thinking Dougal will protect her. Yeah ummm, he’s gone. TwistyLegs, is the only one left & he kinda is the one with all the power and he wants ye burnt…like yesterdays toast.

We interrupt this witch burning for a Canadian Heritage moment

Back to our regularly scheduled programming. G- know it now…You are hooped! And because Claire didn’t see our part of the note…the wardens get 2 sorceresses for the price of 1. WTG. You are going to have a fine time getting out of this one.

Then because the production is class A rubbing salt in the wound of Claire “can’t just suffer that much” Fraser. We have a lovely shot of the wee pot stirrer. Laoghaire. The person we ALL love to hate. Beautiful. Yet…she looks a wee bit different – Green about the middle somehow.

Claire sees her. I think if she could go all hulk on those steel bars – she would. Underestimated that one didn’t you?

See you all next time! Don’t forget EVERY Sunday we try to LIVE TWEET with our Showcase viewing. 8 pm MST. #OutlanderCAN

If you wanna play before the next blog – swing by our TWITTER. @ABOotlanders or leave a comment here. I will probably reply. Eventually.

A bunch of us are heading down to The Expo in Calgary this week/end. It’s going to be FUN times. GRAHAM MCTAVISH people. That’s right. I will be attempting to touch him. #THUD

The end.

SL the ABOotiest of ABOotlanders

I reckon The Reckoning was JUST what the doctor ordered. Dr. Jekyll that is

April 8, 2015 by Sherry W.

Get your nuts here. Real nuts. Actual Nuts.

Wow & wow. This episode pulled out all the stops & it seems to have split the fandom- which seems a little nutty to me.

First 1000 thank yous to ALL of those involved in the creation of this series. I know there are people out there that make it their mission to pick everything apart, make fun of shit & feel it’s their given right to voice their very gnarly opinions. My truth is…we should feel privileged to have something to complain about. I won’t because I am grateful to have it in front of my face in the first place. Being entitled isn’t my jam.

The Reckoning was all I could have hoped for – and even more. It was from Jamie’s POV. BRILLIANT. Well played Mr. Moore n company. WELL PLAYED!

Not only because we got to hear his voice overs, lets face it…Sam Heughan’s voice is like mozzarella fingers….smooth n melty melty melty. It was a rock solid plan considering the parts of the story that were going to be told. I loved the opening scene, like a young boy, skipping rocks…just talk Jamie. Keep. Talking. Everyone else shut your damn mouth, Jamie is talking to ME.

Yes. Horrocks. Jerk feed. Shoulda beat his teeth in. Now-wee Willie Winky blow your horn. Really kid? Is it really too much to tell the truth? You went for a piss did you? Nu-uh. As demonstrated later on in the episode by Murtagh & Jamie, a piss only takes a few seconds. You my friend went for a poop. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone poops. They even write books about it. But poopin is for sure what you were doing, other wise Claire would not have had time to wander SO FAR to have found the stones & been caught by the dreaded redcoats and as I like to call him – Captain Creep Master General. That dude has some serious warped inner dialogue that transforms right to his features. Tobias, you are scary. In a good way. If that’s possible.

Off go the fearsome foursome to save the damsel in distress. Murtagh, Rupert, Angus & Jamie. These are four dudes you do not want to meet in a back alley somewhere. They took a whole garrison in one fell swoop! Murtagh and his nighty night cracks to the noodle. Which he is probably known for in the Highlands. “Och, yer havin trouble sleepin? Aye, go visit Murtagh…ye’ll not feel a thing”

Scaling walls with very iffy ropes! I mean come on Jamie, ya gave that thing a tug…it HARDLY seemed stable but SURE…we’ll go down it and take the chance of rope burning your balls to charred bits.

Blowing up barrels o’ pitch & beating the hell out of redcoats with muskets…and bashing that smug nasty sunnuva whoseit face off the desk. Now that’s entertainment folks!

The dialogue between the 3 was entertainment in itself. Captain Creepy was showing off his fetishes a bit “want him to join us?” “Umm pardon excuse me” Claire showing off her big ole medicine balls by threatening to cut off his. Ha. That girl, she will not go down without getting her own in will she? I must say the ass Captain, did seem like he was pulling on her hair a bit rough. Dude, this is TV…calm your nuts a bit. Cait needs that stuff- its a part of her character.

: Take a lesson from Gilbert…lighten up

People have to constantly be reminded THIS IS TV. Why didn’t Jamie kill BJR right there and then? Well…consider this. That would mean Captain Creepy’s story would be over. He would then- create no more havoc. THAT’S JUST NOT ACCEPTABLE. Sheesh. Wentworth knows there is SO much more havoc to be caused.

DUH!

I keep hearing on the interwebs “That didn’t happen in the books.” “They left that out” and sadly it’s usually attached to a tirade of whining.

Hear YE Hear YE! How bloody bored would we get if it were EXACTLY how it were in the books? Seriously? Those of us who know the books…and yes…really know the books. Read them a dozen times or more. We have seen them in our minds o’er and o’er again. The novelty, my friends, would wear off really bloody fast. Another thing…they wouldn’t translate to TV as nicely as you would romanticize in your head. Let the professionals take care of it and shhhhhhhh. Enjoy it. Let the changes be something new and exciting to add to the story you fell in love with. Not a take away. Perspective people.

The fight between Jamie & Claire on the way to Leoch was perfect. The fire, the intensity, the way they got into each others faces. Just like real people do when they are at their breaking points. I loved the way Claire kept jumping in front of Jamie, forcing him to face her & when he finally snapped, spit flying in her face. I sang Murtaghs knock out song “THANK YOU” to the screen because they pulled it off. Then…Snap. Crackle. Pop. Goes Jamie’s wee heart. He vowed to protect her and he just lost his shit all over the place. The whole day came crashing down on him and so did his heart. Sam really didn’t have to recite the lines, his face said most of his dialogue for him. Yup….guts….out. SPLATTOOIE!

Forgiven. Well…for that lil transgression anyway. Claire isn’t really prepared for part 2.

The highlanders play “ignore the Sassenach”. Not even looking at her- acknowledging her existence in anyway. Dammit…just when she got in good with them – and ummmm…they did just save her life. Whateves…sigh

We all knew what was next. We all wondered just how they would handle this little piece of the puzzle. Some hoped they wouldn’t show it, some couldn’t wait to see it. The truth is, we all have this little thing called a personal viewing filter. It is made up of life experiences. It is made up of our every day. It is made up of how we process & perceive things. It is there because of how our lives were shaped. Guess what? WE ARE ALL RIGHT! DUN DUN DUN! I can not for one second argue with someone that has been a victim of domestic violence that their viewpoint has no merit. I can not for one second argue with someone who has been a survivor of sexual assault and healed has no merit. It is pointless to argue with someone who has logical facts about time, personal accounts and realism on their side. I refuse to get into debates with people about time periods & punishments because frankly, this is a story. A story that Diana Gabaldon wrote and now was being made into TV. This scene, and others to come, are intricate parts of said story. I believe they handled this one beautifully.

It showed Jamie’s determination. His logic for his actions. It shows Claire’s no bullshit, not going down without a fight attitude & the spirit of the scene was just that. Take your personal filter out of it for a moment, if you dare – see it for what it was. Character building & story telling. My favourite part of that scene was Claire backing up like a cat in a corner & of course binging things off of Jamie’s head. Girlfriend has a wicked arm! She would be my first pick in a fast ball tourney. No doubt.

Back at Castle Leoch you would think from the reception things would be awesome. Seriously, everyone needs a Mistress Fitzgibbons in their corner…don’t they? What a cheering section!

Biggest WHOOHOOS alright. Next to Laoghaire’s *snicker*

Have that follow you around all day. Make someone feel like a million guineas. I have to say…Colum really turned out to be a fun sucker though. You want a party pooper? Invite old TwisteyLegs McTwisterson to the festivities. He’ll do it quick like.

The politics in the episode swept me away! I really which Harper would take some ball growing lessons from old Colum. Dude might be shooting blanks but he sure knows how to grow ’em. The Jacobite cause is an underlying catch in the first book- with much more in DIA so I loved how they made it such a bone of contention here. It really makes the storyline come off the pages. When Dougal went on his tirade and dropped the bomb…you know…YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER all Maury Povich up in the house! I was like “Damn Guuuurl!”

Having that be a power struggle with the MacKenzie men & within the clan itself was Grade A MacKenzie Meat Sandwich. Make a donair outta that and bring me two! It gave Jamie some much needed time to develope as one whose strategizes & lets others make the moves. It was a very Laird-Like moment for him, aiding Colum in mending that crack in the armour with Dougal.

I have to just say Murtagh, every scene he is in. He steals it for me. Scene Thief! Sound the alarm. Especially in the wood when the boys were putting a pounding on WeeWillieWinkie…and Dougal asked them were they with him.Murtagh went and hocked a loogie. That was a resounding “Up yers” wasn’t it?

That brings us down by the river. Another scene which I am SO glad they added, even if as the time I was the WTF?! The more I thought about it, the smarter I thought it was. Some see this as making Jamie weak. Are you serious? Some see it as making him less honourable? Ummmmm…you be cray cray. Laoghaire…came down to his “secret place”- basically told him she has been stalking him since she was 7. Ok. That’s a bit more than a crush. Jamie KNOWS that he didn’t dismiss her affections all this time. He is aware he got himself into this mess. He now needed to get himself out.

When girlfriend pretty much disrobes and put his hand on the top of her bewb (thats how he says it) – all of a sudden the Outlander fandome expects Jamie to turn into INSTADICK. That he would rip his hand away & proclaim his love for Claire & break her heart at the ready. Let’s not forget. Jamie, is a man. (Well he IS a character..but I am digressing)…bewbies are warm….they feel nice…and they tend to make men stop thinking. Why you say? Because most men can supply oxygen to one head at a time and it took him a moment to get the blood back to the one he needed to be thinking with, and he did. He was letting her down as gently as he could because…he is a man of honour. The one everyone wants him to be. It’s because everyone hates Laoghaire and thinks she a nasty wench…she had done nothing up to THAT point to say she was, except try to get the man that she loved to be with her. With that Jamie was being kind & caring. You know, the kind & caring Jamie everyone wants him to be – but because so many hate Laoghaire- they want him NOT to be kind & caring with her.

Remember, Jamie hasn’t read the books. All I can picture is fans all over the world screaming at poor Jamie…READ THE BOOK! You are supposed to be perfect you regular piece of shit human! snort

Can we have make up sex now? PUHLEASE? Jamie going back to Claire & their room, contemplating how he was going to get back into her…good graces. Dude. Is. Good. I am glad he did a little soul searching, he became a man in that room. Admitting that his relationship with her meant more to him than everything he had been taught since he was a lad. I did have to giggle when he said this about Colum though. “I saw a rigid man bend” I shouldn’t have laughed but…ummmm the guy is bending starting at the ankles, it was an analogy that just…you know…ok. I will stop.

If you are going to break a steely girl heart, a good way to do it is pull out your dirk…and swear your loyalty to her.

The dialogue that took place after, right before they got into the HOT HOT HOT sex was perfect. Him asking if she wanted to live separately, her admitting she probably should but that wasn’t the way of it, then them coming together. Slight pun intended here. The intimacy that was displayed was intense & yeah, I might have felt a little voyeuristic but in a really good way.

I have heard some say this scene was like soft porn. Ahem. Folks. No. GO pick up yourself some soft porn – I know soft porn – this ain’t it. This is however GOOD TV SEX! I would much rather see our couple actually coupling rather than looking like they are a soap opera sliding into bed and rubbing 2 sticks together. That is NOT Jamie & Claire sex like I read it…to be perfectly honest with you, neither is what they showed me. What I read- is full on pornography…I have a FANTASTIC imagination. What they pulled off in this episode was flipping brilliant. It looked like actually make up sex! I laugh that more people didn’t freak about Claire pulling the knife on Jamie & threatening to gut him while she was riding him. This of course was perfect timing on her part because any man will promise anything during an intense sexual encounter such as this. “New house babe? Sure…just don’t stop!” “That new ring…YES! How many carats!? Keep going!” It’s a fantastic power position. Ladies, start your engines & get a grip, being sexually empowered is a MUST.

Making our way to the last dramatic GASP.

LAOGHAIRE DUNDUNDUN

The illwish. That Jamie didn’t know it was Laoghaire in the books made me think he was a few fries short of a happy meal (in the books) but with the extra scenes in the show…of course he would know and right away. I loved the dramatic effect they threw in for the show. This is ALWAYS necessary – it’s a) fun for audience b) it makes the scene pop c) it shows peeps this is important. To play it off as not a big deal…people would be whiney about that.

TV shows need triangles. I am really looking forward to what they do with Laoghaire. Nell Hudson is fantastic. The Colum/Dougal/Jamie thing is fantastic. I must say all the added bits, as a book fan get me all revved up! I KNOW the books! I love the books, but they are the books. This is something new. BRING IT ON.

SL- the AB-Ootiest of all ABOotlanders (that mean I have the biggest arse)

It’s a Droughtlander Mirage…Nope…Nope …It’s FREAKIN EPISODE 9! Right there on the horizon!

April 4, 2015 by Sherry W.

That’s right my CanknuckleHeads…Episode 9 is right around the corner. Yes we need to wait one day more than our American friends…but WHO THE HELL CARES?! Showcase did it for us…YES THEY DID! ONE DAY…not 2 weeks like last time. They done cleaned the shit outta their ears and heard the fans. They have been picking up the pace lately. Wicked!

Did you ALL SEE THIS? It is a contest put on by Showcase. All you have to do is watch Outlander. Seriously…tough job man. There will be a “secret word”, follow some simple instructions (You can dooooo eeet!)

and some lucky son of a biznatch will win a trip to Scotland, a tour of SET & lots of other goodies…I mean FOR REALS! That is a HUGE step up from the $25.00 Subway gift card NO? WTG Showcase. Way to step up the game.

We know that Starz had a premature release of Episode 9…and usually women aren’t too fond of the premature release idea. However this time, our friends in the States went BATSHITCRAYCRAY on social media.

Making the rest of us…slightly jealous. Suuuuuuure we are happy for them. Suuuuuuuuure.

Nope…Ain’t even mad. Nu-uh. Happy for you bit…very good friends.

Now, what to do while we wait the 30 some odd hours until Outlander returns to our screens. I suggest drink heavily or sleep your way through it. Pass the time anyway you can to shorten it up. You know, you can always watch your DVD’s on loop, all the special features until the Episode airs. That’s a thing

You don’t even have to put pants on

You will see the @ABOotlander crew live tweeting with you each week. We use the hashtag #OutlanderCAN , come join us! The more the merrier. You don’t even have to be Canadian. You can cue up your PVR & we will tell you where are commercials are. Uh-huh…we have those. I know. It’s ok, you can use those to refill your drink or take a potty break. So as you can see, w can make you an honourary one of us. Believe me, you will LOVE the outfit!

See ya on the flip side! 18th century Scotland…here we come!

SL – AB-ootiest of AB-Ootlanders

Do the math…we GOT this thing. You are invited – #OutlanderCANCAN

February 5, 2015 by Sherry W.

There are 8 wks left. 8 wks. left. We have 8 episodes in the bank. Did you do the math? Huh? Eh? What? Wait!

math math numbers plus equals dinosaurs in purple

Frankly, that math was easy enough. We have it figured out, plus, if Showcase won’t play in the sandbox with us, we will just have to entertain ourselves.

You know, it isn’t like we haven’t done THAT since October. I mean, really. Us Heughliots are quite a resourceful bunch are we not?

We don’t have to remind you about coming up with #Droughtlander? We will however remind you Diana Gabaldon posted it on her Facebook. Yes. We are still pretty tickled about that. Then we had our perfect little Scottish island we pretended to buy? I am pretty sure there are still people packing their bags for that one. I mean wanting to start a crowd-funding & kick-starter campaign? Seriously. Girlfriends were going a bit craaaaazy for cocoa puffs. Yup…I had to tell ladies that was a wee joke. We have this “keeping ourselves entertained” shit under control.

Sunday nights are our jam in Canada.

That’s OUR JAM!

Nothing like going to church in the morning and then praising all that is holy for those knees, thighs and then all that is Jamie Fraser in the evening. Nope nope nope! Seems to suit our sensibilities it does. We have decided with 8 wks out- It’s warm up time.

We are countin’ ourselves back down to April 5th with some rewatching of the Outlander. Starting with Episode One. We will be doing that on Feb 8 at 8 PM MST. Mountain Standard Time for those I am speaking the gibberish to. And yes, I like adding the the word THE before words because I think it makes words sound fancy. It’s a thing I have. Like “THE google….and THE kilt….and THE fine round arse” Yeah…like that.

This is the way Canada shall play. #OutlanderCAN is our regular watching hashtag so since we are on repeat, replay, rejoice…we will

#OutlanderCANCAN for fun! We would love our fellow Canadian friends to join us for a live tweet & any of our Outlander friends who just love watching this show. You know, those who simply want another reason to inject more of the #cracklander into their veins. We will tweet, discuss, laugh & interact. Hopefully enticing more viewers to this phenomenal show come April 5th. (Or yes, whatever dates it will his your screens)

THAT after all, is what it is all about. HINT HINT NUDGE NUDGE, Showcase.

That wasn’t so hard. Let’s be friends.

See…I can be subtle…like a brick. To a face.

That’s all us Heughliots have been doing- trying to get new viewers, lotsa them. We have been doing a damn good job.

We are a proud people

We could make great partners Showcase! Why don’t you love us? Even #OutlanderStarz follows our awesomeness. You know… we can accomplish more together. There is no “i” in team and all that gobbiligoohoo. What do you say? Wanna sip? It’s super yummy!

For example, we have NO idea if Showcase is heading to The Calgary Expo to promote Outlander but we KNOW we ARE! We are dressing up, we have PROPS! Outlander PROPS even! There are a lot of us and WE ALREADY WILL BE THERE TO SPREAD THE WORD! We have been letting Showcase know via twitter and if their social media department was paying attention you’d think they’d hop on this ride. Free Advertising my friends. THE BEST KIND!

Goodness knows Sony & Starz has ridden this Social Media wave big time. We saw how they grabbed a hold of our #Droughtlander. Smart, smart folk that they are. Eventually, months later, Showcase joined them. Come on Showcase…We are here for you. Waiting.

We are a very patient people

As we have it, we are rallying the troops. First stop. THIS SUNDAY. 8 PM. We will see our Canadian friends…and we know many of our other Outlander friends will be there too. ANY excuse to get together for a little #Cracklander group therapy – they are right there. We so love how you throw out the signal and they come running, tappin the vein, line ready!

The Original meaning of the #Cracklanders…as debuted in the summer of 2014

From all over the world, timers will be set. Hashtags for the ready to follow along. #OutlanderCANCAN can!

Tell us where YOU will be watching from, what your twitter handle is so we can be sure we are following along with you too. Remember the @Heughliots #1 rule of Interwebs happiness is #AAPI and for the record, it makes real life a hell of a lot more solid too!

We do it for every tweet we read.

See you all on the flip side! Or Sunday. Which ever comes first

SL Heughliot @Large

A very Merry UN-Birthday to the Reason Outlander LIVES!

January 6, 2015 by Sherry W.

Jan 11th is a big day in the world of the Outlander fan. Why? Because it was the day the one, the only, Diana Gabaldon was born. Yep, much against popular belief, she wasn’t delivered from angels or brought down by the Gods…she was born…like most of us. Yes, I said most. I am not convinced some of you weren’t hatched or aren’t some sort of pod people. Just saying.

Oh…and if you are offended by that last comment. Hello there, pod person, who was hatched.

I must say I have a really hard time picturing Diana as a baby. In my minds eye, she must always have been speaking in complete sentences…diapers? Pfffft! Not this baby Gabaldon, she was “not” hovering over the potty before she could could say “publish me”. It simply…did…not…happen.

Yes…THIS simply makes much more sense in my brain…**GIGGLES**

For those who have had Diana in our worlds a long time. Like 20 plus years, a long time. She has become a part of our vernacular. People get “Gabaldoned” – Personally I like to say “gabalDON’T do you do it” when they seem to take it upon them self to try to school Diana on how she should or shouldn’t do her work…life or business. As far as I’m concerned, you open yourself for a little verbal ass kickin’ when you do this. By Diana or anyone else on the planet if you are rude enough to play that douche roulette. She becomes a part of our homes & jewelry boxes . We have dragon flies decorating our homes, Claire rings on our fingers, we have JAMMF licence plates, we have paintings of standing stones and taken trips to Scotland, when in many cases, those trips weren’t in our minds until a nurse on the pages of a book travelled there herself.

Today is NOT January the 11th. Today is January the 9th! Us Heughliots don’t follow many rules.

Rule Breakers of the World. Unite.

We know Diana loves Disney. So do many of us (ahem…me…I am turning the rest…so…)

This is a VERY MERRY UNbirthday to Diana!

Let us all sit around for a little cup of tea…well some can have tea…Diana – here is a Diet Coke…

one for you

I’ll grab a shot of something not tea or coke.

one for me…ok…4 for me. Don’t count. That’s rude.

Here is our UNBirthday Message to Diana…perhaps we will be lucky enough for her to see it.

We have all heard & experienced the way she has influenced lives with her books & her words. We get to enjoy the new fans experiencing them for the first time now. We get to watch the world that was created on the page come to life on screen & that too, is THRILLING! It is like the best UNBirthday present ever. She have given us ALL a gift. One that just has kept giving and giving and giving. *whispers to all the ladies* You all see the video of Sam….sweating…running…and sweating….Yeah….thank Diana! Ultimately…NONE of that…NONE…without this woman.

We truly have no way we can thank Diana for ALL of the gifts she has given us. Going back to the very first word she has written, to the last one put to the keyboard that we haven’t had the pleasure of seeing. THERE ARE NO WORDS BIG ENOUGH. NO FONT BOLD ENOUGH…NO ITALIC LICY ENOUGH…to express our gratitude.

We joke all the time about being #Cracklanders with a severe addiction. In truth, Diana was our first supplier. The one that said “Pssst, here…try this…just read a couple pages…you’ll like it.”

Like it we did. Never getting enough but waiting anxiously. Like we said before…we are ok…Kinda

May this UNbirthday be filled with all the joy, love & un-aging that the last 62 have blessed you with Diana!

Much Love, the Heughliots of AB

Sher – Heughliot @Large

12 Days of Christmas – ABOotlander Style

December 9, 2014 by Sherry W.

It’s early ya say? Uh-huh. That’s what us Canadians do when we think we might get snowed in or some such nonsense. We take precautions and get stuff done. READ: So we can get our drink on.

So grab yourself snowbeer outta your snowfridge (It maybe a Canadian thing…it may not) and sing along.

We’re no dummies! Hold onto yer toques, cuz here we go!

Sing it with us...

ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY JAMIE GAVE TO MEEEEEEEEEE:

Twelve ABOot-hearts a drumming

x’s 12 of these suckers…ummmm pounders…we are literal around here.

Shameless self promotion for our freaking fabulous group of Heughliots. Yeah that’s right. US. Well, a box of 12 assorted us’s anyway.

Eleven Highland Pipers

No matter how you flip your screen over or blow their sporrans…the kilts will not move. Someone told me.

These lovely laddies are from the Seaforth Highlanders of Canada. They, are in fact based out of B.C. but they DO perform in Alberta. We are equal opportunity here with the ABOotlanders. Lots of B.C. fangirls. We are preachin it!

Honest- we were going to say something about 11 pipeliners…cuz you know. Oil n stuff…our Scottish friends – we have that in common, but politics – like unshaven legs, makes prickly bedfellows so, nope, not saying NUTHIN ’bout THAT!

Ten Redcoats fleeing

We know…We know…there are not 10 Red Coats in the picture. The way I see it, once the tears in your eyes blur your vision enough, it will LOOK like 10. I …can’t…stop…laughing.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SeB9neyRYIc/S_hZrr2p9cI/AAAAAAAAAgg/Blc9jMZQIIY/s1600/Breakers+Red+Coats.jpg

I don’t why I found this but I did…and I almost pee’d

Nine druids dancing

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ummm sure 8 & 9. Yup. Right there. Behind that stone.

Passed out. Bit drunk. Friends of Claire and let’s face it…any friend of Claire is a friend of ours.

Next Soberphobic meeting is at the Bothy…local pub,next month. Be there or be square! Naturally we must mention, The Bothy was voted one of THE top Bars in CANADA . Look ! All you have to do is google “Best Whisky Bar in Edmonton” the google machine does not lie. Right?

Eight maids a waulking…wool

(See, it isn’t just Canadians that throw random “u”‘s in words.)

Waulking wool..wet…juicy wool. You know the pissy kind. It sets the dye faster.

This is just one of the things that Diana Gabaldon teaches us. The woman is a walking encyclopedia. To learn from her just GO HERE!

Seven corns a grindin’

Grinding what? You might ask? Who, I might suggest.

We have the sweet Candy Corn. The Canned English Corned Beef. The 4 cobs of Corn…one looks a bit stunted in his niblets, does he not? Oh, we could not forget our Ole horn dog…*ahem* Corn Dog. (And that’s his stick! STICK. You dirty bunch of…)

Six; bad advice for laying

…frig knows Jamie got enough to pass on. Let’s see. Where shall we start?

6– Go as fast as ya can. Get it over with! FOREPLAY is a word…a long word for a reason. *Bad Advice Rating- 8 STARS*

5– Always do it from behind. Granted, the faces ya all make can be a bit of a turn off, we do like to kiss your faces and sometimes you look super cute. *Bad Advice Rating -5 STARS- from behind is sometimes fun*

4– Don’t take your shirt or boots off. No one wants to see you naked. The reason our happy parts are so far down is so we can have fun taking our clothes off to get to them. SHEESH! *Bad Advice Rating- 7 STARS- Socks are a different story in Canada in the winter…effin cold out there.*

3– Don’t talk during sex. It’s distracting. Pardon? This might be the most important time to communicate. That hurts. That feels good. Stop that. Do that more. *Bad Advice Rating -7 Stars- If you are talking about whats on the TO-DO list for tomorrow…and it isn’t me, then we have a problem.*

2– Stay in one position. Don’t move. That’s a sure fire way to get a cramp. Switch it up. Get creative. Be the twister of the bed sheets. *Bad Advice Rating -8 Stars- That kinda non-action can be …yawn…pretty boring…monotony in the bedroom…no fun.

1– Spit on it. JUST NO. *Bad Advice Rating -100 Stars- JUST NO!

Five goooooooolden drammmmmmmmms (of Whisky!)

…and yes…we KNOW shots are WAY more than drams but – this was way more fun.

We took bets would Tammy pull a “Jamie on a boat”, or would Tammy not pull a “Jamie on a boat”. We MEAN PUKE…*sigh* … can’t say any damn thing around you people. She didn’t. Sweet Jezuz was the ride home interesting though!

Four Calling Clansmen

– or women in a parkling lot after a party- ya know…whateves.

There were no Heughliots hurt in the making of this video. Except maybe feelings.

Three French Hooooooors

We might not be french but we are a reasonable facsimile for the other thing.

Two beavers ahhh..rogering

Hey we’re Canadian – Our porn is on the national geoGRAPHICside. Unshaved beavers EVERYWHERE. If you thought…for 2 seconds, you were going to get through this CANADIAN blog…without seeing or hearing about beavers, that is your own fault. Remember…fool me once, shame on you – fool me twice, shame on me…fool me three times… it must be CHRISTMAS. Besides, its Toger. THE cutest damn beaver in history. He even has a story.

Even our mascot Toger has to look for some love outside of getting harassed by wee Angus.

And a pearl necklace draped o’er ME

The PEARL Necklace and all insinuation that goes with it.

Yes. Me. We understand that “ME” means you…and YOU…and YOU. WE…get it.

We certainly hope you enjoyed the HEUGHLIOTS take on the 12 days of Christmas. We were early for Thanksgiving. We brought #Droughtlander to you. We only thought it right the 12 days be a smidge early too.

With that…

Nollaig chridheil agus bliadhna mhath ùr!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

From the Heughliots of ALBERTA

ALL 167 locals that is

Here, you have a small # of the Heughliots in the Wild. A rare creature…don’t turn your back on them. You may find yourself goosed or better.

This blog brought to you by the twisted minds of Admin Tammy & SL Heughliot @ Large and many random suggestions & ideas from the HEUGHLIOT ladies *ahem* (term used lightly / loosely) event.

Please feel free to comment. We read everything #AssumingPositiveIntent so even if you are trying to be mean…it will only stick to you-

To Excite and Entice. No?

Can Outlander change Mr. Canoehead into a kilted warrior? Well a girl can dream!

October 27, 2014 by Sherry W.

A kilted Canoehead…well ya know. It’s a mythical creature.

Some of our men are making a right good attempt at it. Yes, that’s proper Canadian grammar. Look it up. Its in the Canadian Websters Grammar Book of ~~Good~~ Well Grammar.

See. YOU GOT IT

The Heughliots are an interesting lot. Some of us, like me, have been in very long relationships. Mine began when I was a mere stupid lass of 14. Oh be quiet…we are ALL stupid at 14. I ended up marrying that guy (thank whoever you want to thank, because boy I did shameful things with him…) I’m now *mumble* *mumble. We have been together a VERRA long time. He has been listening to me talk about one James Fraser for going on 20 yrs now. So much so that when the announcement of the TV show was made his reaction was a solid – No. Not THAT.

No. I do not like this at all. Not one bit. No.

We will get into that more later shall we?

The Heuliots have our collection of the single ladies

So Many Single Ladies- maybe not all “ladies” – we use the term loosely

Heughliots w boy friends, boytoys, girlfriends,girltoys or pets

As long as they play nice they fall into one of the 5 catagories

Heughliots who are in relationships & have young kids who have to run for quickies in the bathroom while Dora is on…Yeah…that’s a thing. Poor buggers. I lived there once.

And some happily romancing Jamie instead. Yes, I can see where the imagination is a nicer place to be sometimes. You go girls!

Me and Jamie are happy – in my dreams. That’s a real place. Bite ME!

As you can see the Heuliots are a motley crew of women with all sorts of relationship experience to pull from. It shows you that we make up a great sample of what the fandom looks like. Sure, we are Canadian…sure we are weird…but I can assure you – most of this fandom – just a weeeee bit touched in the ole brain cavity.

We are not crazy…we are mentally hill-hairy-ass!

Before I completely forget that this blurb is NOT all about us, it’s about our partners too, let me put this train back on the rails.

Many of us have had to get our partners on board with this ride. For me, it took some work. Mine whined Jamie’s name when ever he said it. “Jaaaaaaaamie”. He had a major hate on for my book boyfriend. Then he met him and was like “Well shit. Now I know why you have been crushing on him all these years, he IS the bloody King of Men…this is RIDICULOUS!” Then of course he has a debt to owe the man. Go back a few blogs to be reminded of that would you?

Other HeughliHusbands are realizing quickly that Outlander is not all about the book porn. This is what of course they think we have been reading for 20 yrs. Yep, they thought this was our version of Hustler, but it was confusing to them because it didn’t have pictures. Throw back at them…”Well I thought you read THAT for the articles?” Aaaaanyway. The first episode didn’t help our argument because well…SEX…bewbies…the oral SEX…they were like “I was right…it is PORN!”

I was Right! I was Right! I was Right! I was Right!

Well played Ron.D.Moore. Well played. You sucked those boys in and they didn’t even see it coming. Then you shot muskets. Played loud music. Showed gory bones out of joint and blood. Well played sir. You did it. You hooked them.

We have some partners who are still needing translation. It can get pretty comical at times. Admin Tammy had this conversation with her hubby discussing the wedding night. There is the lovely moment when Jamie is describing the colours in Claire’s Hair – her husband says to her – “What is so hot about the brown water and the dark spots in the water in a BARN???”

Barn water. That’s disgusting. Why does she think that’s romantic. What am I missing here? I have to be missing something don’t I?

After she could breathe again she explained to him… Burn… Jamie says burn not barn – burn as in a stream! Can you imagine what dark and brown barn water would be??? YEUCKKKK!!!

I certainly have had to listen to my fair share of shagging with wee beastie comments. I believe my husband and Rupert are kindred spirits. Once Rupert made that comment about Angus- and he replayed it 4 times until he heard the whole scene clearly. He makes jokes about the chickens, goats, horses & “shaggy” cows & why some Scotsmen wear boots with their kilts. Clearly knowing he is climbing hill-hairy-ass! The commentary is quite entertaining.

The cool part is, my hubs likes to score brownie points. So he calls me things like Sassanach. Before the show aired…his pathetic attempts sounded like Sasquatch & Saskatchewan. Yup. Right there buddy. At that point he only had my saying it to him and not “getting it.” Now hearing it himself and “seeing” the reaction and getting the results. Yup…he let’s common sense motivate him.

Now that we are waiting until April for the next 8 Episodes, he wants to know what happens next. However, he is not a reader. If it isn’t on glossy pages and doesn’t fall over the back of the toilet…he won’t read it. So, after forever, he has me reading it to him before bed each night. He likes the differences, however gets a little annoyed by the descriptive nature of the book. He’s a dude, he likes to get to the point. That’s ok. We are enjoying this new experience. My scottish accent is getting better. Well I think it is…shuddup.

Some of the other men in our lives are not seeing the benefit of embracing the world of Outlander. They could be getting so much more action. Keeping so much warmer this winter and have a much happier partner. Take the damn canoe off your head and see the light people. See the Sassenach at the end of the stones! Or Claire in the Box…However you look at it – the end result is a good time had by all.

Get in the Box…it’s warm in the box.

Well it’s marathon time in my house. I have to prepare. This means getting the most comfortable blankey, hitting up Kernels for dill pickle popcorn ( Love how it burns the first 3 layers of taste buds off my tongue) & getting some Disaronno for sipping aka gulping. For those who thought I meant running marathon. You are on the real kind of crack…not my kinda crack…which ends in lander.

I know how to survive this Droughlander. I will not perish.

SL Heughliot @ Large

Canada Dry…not the pop- the time between Outlander Episodes 8 & 9. ORIGINAL

October 15, 2014 by Sherry W.

Here we sit. Waiting. This is what happens when you get addicted – Cracklander. You binge out and then there is a dry spell in town, problem is, we can’t hop in the car and go to the big city to score a hit or call Creepy Uncle Jack that Mom doesn’t ever want us to talk to…we have to wait it out.

Do I look impressed? No…it’s because I’m not.

So, we wait. It’s a reallllll good thing that I have a shit load of friends waiting with me, tappin their own veins until episode 9 airs. Our American friends at least “know” their kill switch date. Up here, in the great white…well…we can only hope that Showcase gets it right this time. HINT HINT! Nope. I am NOT known for subtly.

Can you hear me NOW?!

As much as we like leftovers, we prefer not to have them – every – single – meal. Knowhatimsayin?

So? What shall we do while we wait? I have some suggestions for you.

Not all of them are practical and not all of them will particularly help ease the pain.

We tend to either state the obvious, be incredibly sarcastic or…you know…pull shit like this.

When have you known me to be practical or helpful? I’m here to entertain… or create a reasonable facsimile of humour in some form. I think you may be getting used to that concept by now eh?

We have to FIRST stop complaining that there is a break. There’s a break. Will complaining stop the break? Nooooooo…the break does not stop with the complaining. Yes, I am saying this to myself just as much as I am saying it to everybody else.

Even Jack can’t take it any more

The next step is to DO something about it. We have to pass the time somehow. So LET’S get creative! Sure, some of us can knit (not me), some can make WONDERFUL fan videos, (not me), some can paint or draw, (not me) so the Not Me’s of the world…must do other things…here are some suggestions.

Take them in the spirit they are intended.

To Excite and Entice. No?

Find another addiction. It’s what addicts do. When the crack runs dry…the meth’ll do. So tune into The Walking Dead, catch up on a show you never watched like Breaking Bad, if there is still one or two of you out there that hasn’t seen it…or REALLY treat yourself and watch Republic of Doyle. I am not shitting you. That is some good TV right there!
See how good that TV is? He has what we ladies call STUPIDMAKERS…those muscles that trail on down to his happy place…No idea what they are called…but ummmmm….DUH *drool* DUHsummore

Or check something else out that captures your interest and makes you want to watch it again and again. Something that makes you want to research the characters, watch previous seasons, and get the books. Whatever you need to do to fill the gaps of time. You know, about 6 months worth.

Read ALL the Gabaldon books. In my case…Re-Re-Re-Re-Re-Re(oh FFS you get the picture x 12) the books, throw in the novellas, the Lord John series, listen to the audio books by Davina Porter. That ought to keep you busy and out of touch with reality a good long while. We know Diana’s books are kinda on the large side…which is great…because when someone interrupts you while reading, you can throw it at their whole face. Not half, not just their nose or chin…their WHOLE face. Click right here if you want to know the chronological order of all the tomes. *PHEW-Big words n meanings…need a drink!*

Scour the interwebs for ~~juicy gossip~~ interesting information about the show, cast & crew. This does not make you a stalker. It makes you curious. Curiosity is a good thing. Remember when they said that when you were little? Yeah, just pretend that.
There’s no problem here…carry on

Considering we are going to be waiting in Canada from the months Oct- probably around April/May. Shovel your snow, clean off your car, scrape the ice off your windows and watch some hockey games. AKA Be a Productive Human That ought to keep you plenty friggen busy eh? Me…I do not choose to do those things. You will continue to see me right here. Typing out blogs for your viewing pleasure or roll your eyedom.

Last but not least…Get a life. BAHAHAHA! Who’m I kiddin right? WHO exactly spent a couple hours today writing this VERY blog? Yeah…this girl…
That was mean. I shouldn’t have

I just wanted to see your face when I said it. Too bad I can’t…I do have have a great imagination though. Thanks to Mr. Dress-Up, Casey & Finnagin all those years ago. What I wouldn’t do for a Tickle Trunk today. Well I have the grown up version but a kids version would help pass the time too….never mind…the grown up version is just fine.

Yep…mine’s just a lil bigger.

Needless to say, the Droughtlander will be over before we know it because well…the best way to get through ANY tough situation is to Get Claire Drunk and stay Claire drunk. Let’s face it. Us Canadians have livers of steel. If there is something we do, and do well. It’s drink. Wine, beer, rum, whisky, vodka, liqueurs…we are equal opportunity. Besides, it helps keep us warm over those cold winter months. We are not a stupid people.

No I do not endorse alcoholism…but drunkeness is a whole other sandbox

Stay warm Canada…and to our Outlander friends…we don’t like to drink alone so let’s get this party started. *HIC*

SL – Heughliot @ Large

Our original Blog date on this was in October…How Time Flies when you are being tortured…

We are takin’ on Both Sides Now. MidSeason cut off…the television version of pulling out too soon

October 14, 2014 by Sherry W.

I’m pulling a Claire and grabbing the booze. I just need to cry…drink it out.

It simply didn’t last long enough. It was like Jamie’s first time…good enough for them – we are left wanting.

Even though Showcase did their part and dragged it out for us. You know, for all the bitching and moaning I did, we got 2 extra weeks (because we started 2 weeks later) and we got 4 hours more (granted it was all commercials but it was more). Canadians are collectively sitting around their furnaces and praying to the Natural Gas gawds that the return in April is at the same time Starz returns! April 4th. April 4th!

WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE. Can ya take a subtle hint per chance?

We rallied the troops for the midseason finale- which happened to be Thanksgiving Sunday. We live tweet with fellow Canadians using a hashtag I started the first week Outlander premiered in Canada – #OutlanderCAN. Our fellow CrackLander sisters from all over the world who are going through withdrawls, joined us.

Even Caitriona Balfe stopped by for a tweet and some favouriting. She is incredibly gracious. We really love her.

Her tweet helped us trend in Canada. It was pretty exciting considering we were up against the all and powerful The Walking Dead. (Which I also love…but its like comparing Scots n Zombies…you just…can’t)

We beat Thanksgiving…that was pretty cool! I got this pic from Outlander Pal Alicia Prevost

See that? Right there? AHEAD of The Walking Dead…premiere night for them. Yeah…that’s right…a BIG DAMN DEAL!

I always get distracted…so I guess I should talk about the last episode eh? It was pretty friggen phenominal. There was a lot of Frank tonight, which I know many book readers have issues with and I must say 3 little words to you. Get-over-it. Canadians aren’t always sweet natured. Reference the Canadian goose, they are real assholes.

Truth is, I completely see the value of this portion of the visually told story. This is all stuff that “could have” been happening in the book but since the whole book is from THE Claire viewpoint….TADA…we didn’t see it did we? Nooooooo…this is really very clever. I respect the transition and the extra OOOMPH they gave Frank.

Like we said in our 10 Outlandish Things we are Thankful For blog. They went and made us LIKE the guy! (Yes Karen et al, we know you always liked Frank…shhh now…you are distracting me again)

So the opening sequence of this episode didn’t irritate me. It made me feel for the guy. PoliceMan Dan had to get his drink on to deal with Frank…apparently he has been a super hemorrhoid to the whole operation. It must be terribly irritating for Frank…you know, being smarter than everyone around you and having to clue them into that fact. Tiring being so bloody intelligent. I should know.

I love how Policeman Dan just keeps sipping his whisky flavoured tea…getting ready to go into ragemode times two. Frank poked the bear and the bear poked back. Talk about a pissing contest. Policeman Dan won that round though because Frank left looking like his wife had disappeared through some stones – I dunno 200 yrs and fallen in love with a highlander or somethin.

And POOF…there we are…back in 1743…and it is pissin out. SO rainy. Like don’t listen too close or you will have to pee rainin out. We are on a hill while Jamie n Claire have some major and I mean MAJOR hand sex. Boy…those two played the eye sex into the ground in the earlier episodes, well now…they have that, put the hand sex on top of it, and you have a new kinda Subway sandwich. I don’t have to explain the special sauce to you.

They have a moment, where we see that Claire is falling for this young man. He wonders if what he is feeling for her is normal..you know…cuz she is super experienced with all the men – she tells him “No way hoser…this is different than all the other times in my life when the boys came to my yard. Afterall, there are no milkshakes here.”

THEN…*Whoosh* an arrow comes in their yard. Surely if it wanted to hit them, it would have but Jamie goes into panther mode and tackles Claire and stealthily crawls over to the arrow and recognizes it like an old friend. Those arrows must have dimples & red curls just like him. This character jumped straight off the pages into my heart…and he did EXACTLY the same thing in the show. What a treat! It was like a box of smarties in the guise of Hugh Monro!

I love the foreshadowing. I love they used Hugh FOR the foreshadowing of the second season when he gave Claire the Dragonfly in Amber. It was such a great moment and you could see Claire fall in love with Hugh right then too. It was so friggen SWEET. Let’s not forget though, he isn’t just there to be our window dressing, he has some important shit to tell…which is not the easiest thing when you have no tongue. Turkish bastards who cut it out…Long story short, Hugh has had a rough damn go of it but now…he has a license to beg…surely that makes it all better eh? ANYWAY… It takes Jamie a few tries but he deciphers the clues that Hugh has given him and gathers what he has to mumble. There is this guy with 2 big balls who can get the price off of Jamie’s head. It HAS to be that easy doesn’t it?

Hugh gets some loving from Claire, see…another boy in her yard…That girl.

Jamie then tells her he might get to go home and take her with him… to be Lady Lallybroch – and the sighs went down around Canada then.

We do a whole lot of Happy Claire…Sad Frank in this episode.

We are now in the Reverends study with the Reverend going over all these things that could have happened to Claire…one sounding stupider than the last…her falling through time is WAY more logical dude. Accept it.

Even Frank is getting a wee bit pissy with the Reverend and his ideas when suddenly things and Frank couldn’t get any sadder…the cutest little boy you ever laid your eyes on comes in the room with Mrs. Graham. Its wee Roger! Now Frank sees everything he has lost…his wife & his future. *BAWLING* and OMG I want to squeeze that little boys cheeks so hard they pop!

I admit it. I watched The Walking Dead last night too. But I don’t wanna eat wee Roger up THAT way. That’s gross.

I had to also accept the fact that they gave me this cute and adorable lil fraggle for Roger …but I know that given their penchant for casting hot, want to rip their kilts off sexy men…that wee Roger won’t be so wee in Season 2…and well…I will be wanting to do dirty things to him. I felt just a little uncomfortable – for a second. I have very little couth. You know, thought I would tell you in case you had no observation techniques.

Frank decided to go to Claire’s school of dealing with shit. He ends up at a bar. Brits and Canadians have that in common too 😉

Here comes some chick named Sally – really- she says she knows where “he” is. I smell a trap…must be the same one they set in that smoking ashtray.

So the trap has been laid for the would be “professor” that actually is a military intelligence officer..so yeah…you think he might be expecting to get jacked?

We have to wait to see because we jump back to the 18th century where is it Rupert Rooms story time. Everyone sitting by the fire listening to Rupert talk about the Waterhorse of the loch.

If you listen closely you will hear him talk about waterweed and the like. Many tips of the hat to the books in this little portion, so as much bitching as there was for the bits left out, there were many popped in for our enjoyment.

Jamie & Claire’s handsex moments carried on, right there in front of everyone. Can you imagine. Then…dun dun dun…things started happening! Horses got all freaked, men started pulling out their weapons but “not” pulling out their weapons. Rupert kept telling his story while getting ready to leap. It was Scottish Ninja time –

-they knew they were about to be attacked but were going to get the jump on the punks. Plus Bear McCreary put in the bagpipes so you KNOW someone is gonna get an ass kickin…Highland style. I don’t know about anyone else but…damn…those screaming, yelling, sword n dirk weilding kilted men get me all hot n bothered when they are beating up people. THAT’S how the UFC should be, in the dark, in the mud, in kilts…mmmmm…yeah. Now THAT’S hot!

*Fans Self*

They ran off those Grants good! Ned saved the day…night…by shooting one of them in the shoulder. Ned…wow boyo! All the while protecting the books and didn’t even drop a page. That man has talent. Someone get him a hoooooor for the night! He deserves it.

They all feel pretty friggen good after their victory! Who wouldn’t, they had the WTH just happened looks on their faces…then HILL-HAIRY-TEES ensued!

If you didn’t catch it, Jamie called Claire my love when he took her in his arms afterwards. BIG FAT JUICY SIGHS all around.

THEN cut to Frank again…they really are doing a trip on me here. It is like AHHHHH Everything is awesome Everything is Awesome…BOOM…SADFACEEMOJICON! Like I don’t feel I am crazy enough – they do this to my feels.

Naturally, Frank comes prepared for the trap that was laid down for him. He had a glimmer of hope of course or he wouldn’t have shown up but he did…and little Sally ducked off to the corner while 2 guys jump him. Frank pulls out a – guess? Guess what it is? Its a weapon…it has a name…its a, yup, its a black jack club. Nice! Subtle and pretty clever once again. Frank goes into black jack mode actually, taking it a bit over board in the beating department. We get a bit of a glimpse of his ancestor there don’t we? He rounds on lil ms. Sally when she stops him- almost strangled the livin stupid out of the woman. When he came to his senses. Knowing damn well the highlander didn’t exist.

Reverend Wakefield tries to let Frank know that sips from the mug of evil are ok…just don’t take any big gulps or your done for. He figures if he stays…he’s hooped. Time to move on now. All of their sleuthing has come up with nothing so obviously Claire skipped town with the highlander guy. Off you go now!

We go back again to the charming fun Highlanders. Rupert gives us the 18th century version of “That’s what she said” and yes…I snorted. They are bonding and showing Claire the love, wanting her to be protected if it comes down to it – so you know that’s foreshadowing- dammit! But lets enjoy this scene while we can because it is quite a lot of fun. Angus, the wiley wee bugger is a great teacher so he is the one in charge of showing Claire how to use her wee sticker.

Laughs and joyfulness during the teaching then BOOM..back to sad Frank. ERMERGERD Ron D Moore. You really are putting us through the ringer this time.

Its like a bloody great hockey game. Back n forth. Back n Forth! I can’t get enough of it. Boom we are back in the wet heather with Jamie and Claire getting super hot n heavy. Being ADORKABLE as always. Talking about how he feels like god himself…lol…loved that line from the book and glad they used it. Cait played this part so well. Giggling, yet still remaining intimate and attached. I felt like a voyeur, watching them like that. I didn’t want to turn away but I could definitely imagine myself backing up and focusing in with the binoculars if I had to. Can’t. Get. Enough.

aaaaaaaand…of course, just when things are getting most awesome – CLICK- You hear a hammer being drawn back. Then you see a barrel come into focus and the faces of our two lovers go from ecstasy to terror because some bloody deserter from the redcoats and his mate decide this of all moments is the perfect one to ruin someones day!

They tear Jamie off Claire and start in on them both. Claire is more than terrified, Jamie is both terrified and pissed right off. Not a great combination. The problem is, these arrogant redcoats think this is going to be easy pickings. Little do they know that Claire has gotten lessons how to stick a prick recently. One of the nasty lil twerps jumps on her to rape her and she goes into quiet, think this through and gut the little arsewipe mode. Because this is the LAST thing the other idiot expects, he is caught off guard and Jamie takes like ZERO seconds to react and turns him into a human PEZ dispenser. This guy now has a flip top head.

These are the moments when having commercials makes me go just a TAD postal. Yes. I understand the necessity. Yes. I know this is not Starz and Showcase shows commercials so we get them…but we get a hell of a LOT of them. A half an hours worth of them and pretty much the same ones. When they come at times like this well I don’t really care the TV can’t hear or see me, I’m flippin it the bird.

Commercial breaks smamercial breaks.Pft!

It is in this moment, Jamie throws the deadcoat off Claire, gathers her into his arms and runs up the hill to fetch a pail…ummm…to comfort her.

Mrs. Graham has had enough of listening to this hogwash bullshit that the reverend has been spouting about Claire living in a cave eating frogs and thinks Frank ought to hear HER hogwash bullshit that frankly is the truth! He overhears them and is all like “You guys talking about me?” Mrs. Graham gets all cocky and says…”Yeah cuz there are tonnes of other guys whose wives went up into the stones, lets have a spot of tea while I tell you a tale of the wee folk. It might sound kookey but you know deep down it’s easier to bite down on than her up and leaving for some random dude in a kilt aye? aye?”

She goes on and on and Frank just stares at her, Through her. He is thinking “Lady, you are touched in that head of yours” and part of him kinda looks like he wants to pull out that black jack of his again. He is a gentleman though and just gets up and says …Ok enough cray cray in this town. I’m out…Oh and because you can’t feel sad enough, we are going to grab you with some great big sad wee Roger baby eyes.

You can’t look at me without seeing your future slipping away can you sir?

We cut back to Claire & Jamie on the hill, him begging for forgiveness. Calling her my love, in Gaelic, he is angry at himself for allowing her to be mishandled, she is going into shock and repeating over and over its ok, she is going into shock. Ummmm, I don’t know lots about shock but if you are going into it, I’m thinking…you aren’t really alright. The other men show up because they heard the shot and they tell Jamie, after this, there is no way that he is going to meet that english deserter on his own. No way!

This is the moment in time that I say…DAMN that girl can ACT! Yes, Tobias is awesome, Sam is amazing, Graham kicks ass, Grant & Steven rock…but Caitriona – she is… Straight up. She goes from being attacked, killing a dude, being swept up, going into shock and then…being down right pissed off with the world…and it all comes off as seemlessly as a hoooooor’s skirts. Jamie lets her know she has to stay behind with babysitter Willie while he goes to his meeting with the others. She burns him good saying she has made it quite apparent she can take care of herself. Girls do that, right below the belt…and let’s face it, when your wearing a kilt, pretty easy to grab onto the fellas and give a twist.

The next few scenes are absolutely riveting TV! Frank is driving back to Oxford but he takes a wee detour up to Craigh Na Dun. Willie has to go for a poop so Claire, is left alone, she starts wandering when…BOOM…Craigh Na Dun. We get visuals of Frank on one side of the rocks….Claire rushing up the other side of the rocks. Frank then calls out Claire’s name in desperation…and GUESS WHO HEARS HIM? Not just us…nope nope nope…Claire, who is 200 years in the past…HEARS him and starts screaming back…he hears her too. The next few moments are some of the coolest we have seen, heard & felt.

Then Claire reaches up for the stones, you think…maybe…(But no you really don’t because most of you read) and those bloody redcoats grab onto her! Seriously…the bitching and moaning I heard about them not doing the near drowning scene with Claire. Let me remind you 1) adaptation 2) Cait is a real live person that would have to act that out, and if you haven’t noticed, they do things really authentically and I’m am thinking, any body of water would have frigid ass water in it. 3) adaptation. The way they did it was brilliant. I laughed at one comment “The redcoats just came out of the blue.” Sort of the same way they did in the book. Sort of the same way they did a few minutes earlier. This is also from Claire’s point of view, she was pretty focused on those rocks wasn’t she? Probably wouldn’t see the redcoats either…even when or IF they were there. Let your brains breath people – they will feel better and enjoy the show MUCH more when you do.

The scene of Frank going down one portion of the hill and Claire getting dragged down the other. Yep. That.

Claire knows who is at the end of her journey, she knows where she is going…they are following the map to CreepyTown. *sigh*

Claire & BJR always play their game of cat & mouse. This time Claire decides to use her bit of info on him, that the Duke of Sandringham is his lil buddy. This shocks him enough he spits out his drink

Then Claire…does what Claire does best. She get cocky. Starts telling him “You better just keep your big mouth shut, the duke wouldn’t like it very much if you exposed me…blah blah blah.

And the mouse…gets caught…again. Claire falls into the trap of BJR. He mentions how if she is a secret agent of the duke, she has GOT to be a secret agent of the duchess…Claire is like DUH…of course butthead. So now…lets go through our desk drawer where MOST folk have staplers and pens…this crazy effer has oh…ROPE! Magic Jack. Wonder where he will pull a bunny out of next time!?

This is where shit gets ugly. She tries to take off but the little corporal is no Mountie and he offers her zero protection…ooooh he may be part Canadian, he did say he was sorry before handing her back over to the sick bastard. This is where BJR makes one monumental mistake “No matter what you hear…don’t you come back.” But we won’t know how bad that is till later…oh in about 6 MONTHS!

She screams, good and loud because now, she knows what this guy is capable of. He rips off her clothes, grabs her by the hair and slams her onto his desk getting ready to force her into all sorts of evilness.

Suddenly – BANG! Someone threw open the sash…the bat signal got sent! There is JAMIE! Hunkered down in the windowsill with a musket aimed at BJR. Jamie…always the gentleman says “I’ll thank you to take your hands OFF my WIFE.”

Goes to Crazy Jack face…love seeing that stunned SHOCK on his face…Claire’s face thinking…Ummm yep…left it a little late but THANK PETE but boy this is going to get cold n tiresome laying splayed across this desk for the next 6 months. Jamie too…stuck in the windowsill, looks like its cold n rainy out there, he might get a leg cramp.

But for reals, Jem spent what? 5 yrs in a tunnel? Surely these guys can handle 6 months in these precarious positions…the tough part is for US FANS!. Not U.S. fans US..us…one word. All of us.

I really hope that Showcase can manage to show the rest of the episodes in succession along with our American counterpart. That would be lovely of them to do.

I do believe we have shown them we can bring up the excitement level for them. #OutlanderCAN was started by us Heughliots at the start of episode one…it’s kinda caught on, and may I mention again…it trended!?

#3 – That’s right…you see it.

Don’t worry, we aren’t going to disappear over the hiatus. Our crazy doesn’t burn out that easy!

SL Heughliot @ Large

Ten Outlandish Things Canadians are Thankful for this Thanksgiving

October 10, 2014 by Sherry W.

Let’s REBLOG for our American Friends who are Celebrating THEIR Thanksgiving…you know late. At least us Canadians will be ready for the next Turkey coma that is up in just a few more wks for Christmas. We don’t know how you people do it. You are true turkey troopers!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING OUTLANDER FRIENDS!

As you may or may not know, this weekend is the second one in October. To Canadians this is Thanksgiving weekend, when we stuff a dead bird (preferably Turkey- magpies are harder to catch), stuff our face with pie, and yes, boil up that corn, and stuff.

We also talk about what we’re thankful for. There’s no Black-Jack Friday, but there might be football, yes CANADIAN football (and we have bigger…. err fields, ya ken? And we go down one less, because we get it done sooner…) And WOOHOO!!! Finally us Canadians get to do something before the US does… we can do up a We’re Verra Thankful post (small steps, baby…)

So what has been our biggest Thank your Starz-Gods moments so far?

Let’s ask the Alberta Heughliots what they say, eh?

10. They are actually filming this puppy in Scotland! Really, it’s breathtaking. And it’s become it’s own character. And we want to go there reallllll bad…

We will settle for Nova Scotia right now, but that’s not going to last much longer!

9. Diana’s and Ron’s cameos on episode 4. It was a case of ‘Wheres Waldo’ for Ron, but Diana played her part with snappy grace!

May I present: Iona MacTavish and Sir Ron Where’sWaldo….

8.Corn jokes….. that is all. Graham MacTavish is never going to live this down……

7. Tobias Menzies has made us like Frank! Never in a million years did we think this day would ever come (except Karen, she knew) -to most of us- he was always just kind of there – ya know what I mean? And we thought we hated BJR – we ALL loath him now! (And Tobias is a crack up on twitter – luvs ya!)

6. The Terrific Trio – Ron, Maril, and Terry. We curtsy to your greatness. What you all have created, let no man divide – or something like that.

5. Tag-team comic relief – and they’re not Just For Laughs – what shall we call them? Rungus? Angpert? Sounds like something you’d get at Shoppers Drug Mart for that itch… in that place you’d rather not talk about…from that person you’d never repeat their name.

Otherwise known as the wisecracking Scottish bridesmaids

4. Cast and Crew Twitterplay. If Sam’s accidental faux pas birthday greeting to Cait and the ensuing day of mirth as the rest of them jumped on board didn’t convince you to join twitter, there’s no talking to ya. Plus this is a great ~~legal~~ way to ~~stalk.~~ get the lowdown on on all the Outlander-ville gossip and goodies.

3. Caitrona is stunning as Claire. Nice round bum and all…GirlCrushes abound all over the Heughliots group.

Cause we’re into equal opportunities here…

2. Sam IS Jamie!! No ifs, ands,or ummm butts about it…….. He’s the total package, including his voice….. it’s like butter, with Canadian back bacon wrapped around it….. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Better now? Yeah, I need another shock back too.

Get yer butter heeeeeeeeeere…….

Speak Outlander: Lesson 1

Which leads us to the number one Outlandish thing we are Thankful for this year – that One Fine Arse. It was delivered to Canadian screens just last weekend. In case you forgot, we found you a reminder… You’re welcome. Could we have shown you complete unblocked version of this fine arse? Well of course we could have. However, we know that your imagination is in full bloom right now and you are trying to move Claire’s hand from the screen and you are trying to look past her nightie. We call this an “interactive” picture.

SWEET Mary, Joseph and Bride…….

And because we had a hard enough time getting this list down to just ten, we also have an honourable mention:

Yes it’s Claire and her Soberphobia. Can’t understand the Gaelic? Have a dram… Can’t warm up? Have a dram… Can’t wait to get on with the wedding night? Have a dram, or three….. or eight……

Bottoms Up!!

Bob and Doug MacKenzie approve…..

Right on, eh?

Your participation is appreciated.

HAPPY TURKEY D-EH?!

This blog was brought to you by @tlmfarmgirl aka Tammy Heughliot Admin

and with general mirth and pic building by SL – Heughliot @large