I’m pulling a Claire and grabbing the booze. I just need to cry…drink it out.

It simply didn’t last long enough. It was like Jamie’s first time…good enough for them – we are left wanting.

Even though Showcase did their part and dragged it out for us. You know, for all the bitching and moaning I did, we got 2 extra weeks (because we started 2 weeks later) and we got 4 hours more (granted it was all commercials but it was more). Canadians are collectively sitting around their furnaces and praying to the Natural Gas gawds that the return in April is at the same time Starz returns! April 4th. April 4th!

WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE. Can ya take a subtle hint per chance?

We rallied the troops for the midseason finale- which happened to be Thanksgiving Sunday. We live tweet with fellow Canadians using a hashtag I started the first week Outlander premiered in Canada –  #OutlanderCAN. Our fellow CrackLander sisters from all over the world who are going through withdrawls, joined us.

Even Caitriona Balfe stopped by for a tweet and some favouriting. She is incredibly gracious. We really love her.

Her tweet helped us trend in Canada. It was pretty exciting considering we were up against the all and powerful The Walking Dead. (Which I also love…but its like comparing Scots n Zombies…you just…can’t)

We beat Thanksgiving…that was pretty cool! I got this  pic from Outlander Pal  Alicia Prevost

See that? Right there? AHEAD of The Walking Dead…premiere night for them. Yeah…that’s right…a BIG DAMN DEAL!

I always get distracted…so I guess I should talk about the last episode eh? It was pretty friggen phenominal. There was a lot of Frank tonight, which I know many book readers have issues with and I must say 3 little words to you. Get-over-it. Canadians aren’t always sweet natured. Reference the Canadian goose, they are real assholes.

Truth is, I completely see the value of this portion of the visually told story. This is all stuff that “could have” been happening in the book but since the whole book is from THE Claire viewpoint….TADA…we didn’t see it did we? Nooooooo…this is really very clever.  I respect the transition and the extra OOOMPH they gave Frank.

Like we said in our 10 Outlandish Things we are Thankful For blog. They went and made us LIKE the guy! (Yes Karen et al, we know you always liked Frank…shhh now…you are distracting me again)

So the opening sequence of this episode didn’t irritate me. It made me feel for the guy. PoliceMan Dan had to get his drink on to deal with Frank…apparently he has been a super hemorrhoid to the whole operation. It must be terribly irritating for Frank…you know,  being smarter than everyone around you and having to clue them into that fact. Tiring being so bloody intelligent. I should know.

I love how Policeman Dan just keeps sipping his whisky flavoured tea…getting ready to go into ragemode times two. Frank poked the bear and the bear poked back. Talk about a pissing contest. Policeman Dan won that round though because Frank left looking like his wife had disappeared through some stones – I dunno 200 yrs and fallen in love with a highlander or somethin.

And POOF…there we are…back in 1743…and it is pissin out. SO rainy. Like don’t listen too close or you will have to pee rainin out. We are on a hill while Jamie n Claire have some major and I mean MAJOR hand sex. Boy…those two played the eye sex into the ground in the earlier episodes, well now…they have that, put the hand sex on top of it, and you have a new kinda Subway sandwich. I don’t have to explain the special sauce to you.

They have a moment, where we see that Claire is falling for this young man. He wonders if what he is feeling for her is normal..you know…cuz she is super experienced with all the men – she tells him “No way hoser…this is different than all the other times in my life when the boys came to my yard. Afterall, there are no milkshakes here.”

THEN…*Whoosh* an arrow comes in their yard. Surely if it wanted to hit them, it would have but Jamie goes into panther mode and tackles Claire and stealthily crawls over to the arrow and recognizes it like an old friend. Those arrows must have dimples & red curls just like him. This character jumped straight off the pages into my heart…and he did EXACTLY the same thing in the show. What a treat! It was like a box of smarties in the guise of Hugh Monro!

I love the foreshadowing. I love they used Hugh FOR the foreshadowing of the second season when he gave Claire the Dragonfly in Amber. It was such a great moment and you could see Claire fall in love with Hugh right then too. It was so friggen SWEET. Let’s not forget though, he isn’t just there to be our window dressing, he has some important shit to tell…which is not the easiest thing when you have no tongue. Turkish bastards who cut it out…Long story short, Hugh has had a rough damn go of it but now…he has a license to beg…surely that makes it all better eh? ANYWAY… It takes Jamie a few tries but he deciphers the clues that Hugh has given him and gathers what he has to mumble. There is this guy with 2 big balls who can get the price off of Jamie’s head. It HAS to be that easy doesn’t it?

Hugh gets some loving from Claire, see…another boy in her yard…That girl.

Jamie then tells her he might get to go home and take her with him… to be Lady Lallybroch – and the sighs went down around Canada then.

We do a whole lot of Happy Claire…Sad Frank in this episode.

We are now in the Reverends study with the Reverend going over all these things that could have happened to Claire…one sounding stupider than the last…her falling through time is WAY more logical dude. Accept it.

Even Frank is getting a wee bit pissy with the Reverend and his ideas when suddenly things and Frank couldn’t get any sadder…the cutest little boy you ever laid your eyes on comes in the room with Mrs. Graham.  Its wee Roger!  Now Frank sees everything he has lost…his wife & his future. *BAWLING* and OMG I want to squeeze that little boys cheeks so hard they pop!

I admit it. I watched The Walking Dead last night too. But I don’t wanna eat wee Roger up THAT way. That’s gross.

I had to also accept the fact that they gave me this cute and adorable lil fraggle for Roger …but I know that given their penchant for casting hot, want to rip their kilts off sexy men…that wee Roger won’t be so wee in Season 2…and well…I will be wanting to do dirty things to him. I felt just a little uncomfortable – for a second. I have very little couth. You know, thought I would tell you in case you had no observation techniques.

Frank decided to go to Claire’s school of dealing with shit. He ends up at a bar. Brits and Canadians have that in common too 😉

Here comes some chick named Sally – really- she says she knows where “he” is. I smell a trap…must be the same one they set in that smoking ashtray.

So the trap has been laid for the would be “professor” that actually is a military intelligence officer..so yeah…you think he might be expecting to get jacked?

We have to wait to see because we jump back to the 18th century where is it Rupert Rooms story time. Everyone sitting by the fire listening to Rupert talk about the Waterhorse of the loch.  

If you listen closely you will hear him talk about waterweed and the like. Many tips of the hat to the books in this little portion, so as much bitching as there was for the bits left out, there were many popped in for our enjoyment.

Jamie & Claire’s handsex moments carried on, right there in front of everyone. Can you imagine. Then…dun dun dun…things started happening! Horses got all freaked, men started pulling out their weapons but “not” pulling out their weapons. Rupert kept telling his story while getting ready to leap. It was Scottish Ninja time –

-they knew they were about to be attacked but were going to get the jump on the punks. Plus Bear McCreary put in the bagpipes so you KNOW someone is gonna get an ass kickin…Highland style. I don’t know about anyone else but…damn…those screaming, yelling, sword n dirk weilding kilted men get me all hot n bothered when they are beating up people.  THAT’S how the UFC should be, in the dark, in the mud, in kilts…mmmmm…yeah. Now THAT’S hot!

*Fans Self*

They ran off those Grants good! Ned saved the day…night…by shooting one of them in the shoulder. Ned…wow boyo! All the while protecting the books and didn’t even drop a page.  That man has talent. Someone get him a hoooooor for the night! He deserves it.

They all feel pretty friggen good after their victory! Who wouldn’t, they had the WTH just happened looks on their faces…then HILL-HAIRY-TEES ensued!

If you didn’t catch it, Jamie called Claire my love when he took her in his arms afterwards. BIG FAT JUICY SIGHS all around.

THEN cut to Frank again…they really are doing a trip on me here.  It is like AHHHHH Everything is awesome Everything is Awesome…BOOM…SADFACEEMOJICON! Like I don’t feel I am crazy enough – they do this to my feels.

Naturally, Frank comes prepared for the trap that was laid down for him. He had a glimmer of hope of course or he wouldn’t have shown up but he did…and little Sally ducked off to the corner while 2 guys jump him. Frank pulls out a – guess? Guess what it is? Its a weapon…it has a name…its a, yup, its a black jack club. Nice! Subtle and pretty clever once again.  Frank goes into black jack mode actually, taking it a bit over board in the beating department.  We get a bit of a glimpse of his ancestor there don’t we? He rounds on lil ms. Sally when she stops him- almost strangled the livin stupid out of the woman. When he came to his senses. Knowing damn well the highlander didn’t exist.

Reverend Wakefield tries to let Frank know that sips from the mug of evil are ok…just don’t take any big gulps or your done for. He figures if he stays…he’s hooped. Time to move on now. All of their sleuthing has come up with nothing so obviously Claire skipped town with the highlander guy. Off you go now!

We go back again to the charming fun Highlanders. Rupert gives us the 18th century version of “That’s what she said” and yes…I snorted. They are bonding and showing Claire the love, wanting her to be protected if it comes down to it – so you know that’s foreshadowing- dammit! But lets enjoy this scene while we can because it is quite a lot of fun. Angus, the wiley wee bugger is a great teacher so he is the one in charge of showing Claire how to use her wee sticker.

Laughs and joyfulness during the teaching then BOOM..back to sad Frank. ERMERGERD Ron D Moore. You really are putting us through the ringer this time. 

Its like a bloody great hockey game. Back n forth. Back n Forth! I can’t get enough of it. Boom we are back in the wet heather with Jamie and Claire getting super hot n heavy. Being ADORKABLE as always. Talking about how he feels like god himself…lol…loved that line from the book and glad they used it. Cait played this part so well. Giggling, yet still remaining intimate and attached. I felt like a voyeur, watching them like that. I didn’t want to turn away but I could definitely imagine myself backing up and focusing in with the binoculars if I had to. Can’t. Get. Enough.

aaaaaaaand…of course, just when things are getting most awesome – CLICK- You hear a hammer being drawn back. Then you see a barrel come into focus and the faces of our two lovers go from ecstasy to terror because some bloody deserter from the redcoats and his mate decide this of all moments is the perfect one to ruin someones day!

They tear Jamie off Claire and start in on them both. Claire is more than terrified, Jamie is both terrified and pissed right off. Not a great combination. The problem is, these arrogant redcoats think this is going to be easy pickings. Little do they know that Claire has gotten lessons how to stick a prick recently.  One of the nasty lil twerps jumps on her to rape her and she goes into quiet, think this through and gut the little arsewipe mode. Because this is the LAST thing the other idiot expects, he is caught off guard and Jamie takes like ZERO seconds to react and turns him into a human PEZ dispenser. This guy now has a flip top head.

These are the moments when having commercials makes me go just a TAD postal. Yes. I understand the necessity. Yes. I know this is not Starz and Showcase shows commercials so we get them…but we get a hell of a LOT of them. A half an hours worth of them and pretty much the same ones. When they come at times like this well I don’t really care the TV can’t hear or see me, I’m flippin it the bird.

Commercial breaks smamercial breaks.Pft!

It is in this moment, Jamie throws the deadcoat off Claire, gathers her into his arms and runs up the hill to fetch a pail…ummm…to comfort her.

Mrs. Graham has had enough of listening to this hogwash bullshit that the reverend has been spouting about Claire living in a cave eating frogs and thinks Frank ought to hear HER hogwash bullshit that frankly is the truth! He overhears them and is all like “You guys talking about me?”  Mrs. Graham gets all cocky and says…”Yeah cuz there are tonnes of other guys whose wives went up into the stones, lets have a spot of tea while I tell you a tale of the wee folk. It might sound kookey but you know deep down it’s easier to bite down on than her up and leaving for some random dude in a kilt aye? aye?”

She goes on and on and Frank just stares at her, Through her. He is thinking “Lady, you are touched in that head of yours” and part of him kinda looks like he wants to pull out that black jack of his again. He is a gentleman though and just gets up and says …Ok enough cray cray in this town. I’m out…Oh and because you can’t feel sad enough, we are going to grab you with some great big sad wee Roger baby eyes.

You can’t look at me without seeing your future slipping away can you sir?

We cut back to Claire & Jamie on the hill, him begging for forgiveness. Calling her my love, in Gaelic, he is angry at himself for allowing her to be mishandled, she is going into shock and repeating over and over its ok, she is going into shock. Ummmm, I don’t know lots about shock but if you are going into it, I’m thinking…you aren’t really alright. The other men show up because they heard the shot and they tell Jamie, after this, there is no way that he is going to meet that english deserter on his own. No way!

This is the moment in time that I say…DAMN that girl can ACT! Yes, Tobias is awesome, Sam is amazing, Graham kicks ass, Grant & Steven rock…but Caitriona – she is… Straight up. She goes from being attacked, killing a dude, being swept up, going into shock and then…being down right pissed off with the world…and it all comes off as seemlessly as a hoooooor’s skirts. Jamie lets her know she has to stay behind with babysitter Willie while he goes to his meeting with the others. She burns him good saying she has made it quite apparent she can take care of herself. Girls do that, right below the belt…and let’s face it, when your wearing a kilt, pretty easy to grab onto the fellas and give a twist.

The next few scenes are absolutely riveting TV! Frank is driving back to Oxford but he takes a wee detour up to Craigh Na Dun.  Willie has to go for a poop so Claire, is left alone, she starts wandering when…BOOM…Craigh Na Dun. We get visuals of Frank on one side of the rocks….Claire rushing up the other side of the rocks.  Frank then calls out Claire’s name in desperation…and GUESS WHO HEARS HIM? Not just us…nope nope nope…Claire, who is 200 years in the past…HEARS him and starts screaming back…he hears her too. The next few moments are some of the coolest we have seen, heard & felt.

Then Claire reaches up for the stones, you think…maybe…(But no you really don’t because most of you read) and those bloody redcoats grab onto her!  Seriously…the bitching and moaning I heard about them not doing the near drowning scene with Claire. Let me remind you 1) adaptation 2) Cait is a real live person that would have to act that out, and if you haven’t noticed, they do things really authentically and I’m am thinking, any body of water would have frigid ass water in it. 3) adaptation.  The way they did it was brilliant.  I laughed at one comment “The redcoats just came out of the blue.”  Sort of the same way they did in the book. Sort of the same way they did a few minutes earlier. This is also from Claire’s point of view, she was pretty focused on those rocks wasn’t she?  Probably wouldn’t see the redcoats either…even when or IF they were there. Let your brains breath people – they will feel better and enjoy the show MUCH more when you do.

The scene of Frank going down one portion of the hill and Claire getting dragged down the other. Yep. That.

Claire knows who is at the end of her journey, she knows where she is going…they are following the map to CreepyTown. *sigh*

Claire & BJR always play their game of cat & mouse. This time Claire decides to use her bit of info on him, that the Duke of Sandringham is his lil buddy. This shocks him enough he spits out his drink

Then Claire…does what Claire does best. She get cocky. Starts telling him “You better just keep your big mouth shut, the duke wouldn’t like it very much if you exposed me…blah blah blah.

And the mouse…gets caught…again. Claire falls into the trap of BJR. He mentions how if she is a secret agent of the duke, she has GOT to be a secret agent of the duchess…Claire is like DUH…of course butthead.  So now…lets go through our desk drawer where MOST folk have staplers and pens…this crazy effer has oh…ROPE! Magic Jack. Wonder where he will pull a bunny out of next time!?

This is where shit gets ugly. She tries to take off but the little corporal is no Mountie and he offers her zero protection…ooooh he may be part Canadian, he did say he was sorry before handing her back over to the sick bastard. This is where BJR makes one monumental mistake “No matter what you hear…don’t you come back.”  But we won’t know how bad that is till later…oh in about 6 MONTHS!

She screams, good and loud because now, she knows what this guy is capable of. He rips off her clothes, grabs her by the hair and slams her onto his desk getting ready to force her into all sorts of evilness.

Suddenly – BANG! Someone threw open the sash…the bat signal got sent! There is JAMIE! Hunkered down in the windowsill with a musket aimed at BJR. Jamie…always the gentleman says “I’ll thank you to take your hands OFF my WIFE.”

Goes to Crazy Jack face…love seeing that stunned SHOCK on his face…Claire’s face thinking…Ummm yep…left it a little late but THANK PETE but boy this is going to get cold n tiresome laying splayed across this desk for the next 6 months.  Jamie too…stuck in the windowsill, looks like its cold n rainy out there, he might get a leg cramp.

But for reals, Jem spent what? 5 yrs in a tunnel? Surely these guys can handle 6 months in these precarious positions…the tough part is for US FANS!.  Not U.S. fans US..us…one word. All of us.

I really hope that Showcase can manage to show the rest of the episodes in succession along with our American counterpart. That would be lovely of them to do.

I do believe we have shown them we can bring up the excitement level for them. #OutlanderCAN was started by us Heughliots at the start of episode one…it’s kinda caught on, and may I mention again…it trended!?

#3 – That’s right…you see it.

Don’t worry, we aren’t going to disappear over the hiatus. Our crazy doesn’t burn out that easy!

SL   Heughliot @ Large