10 times! You pricked my what with your what?

April 15, 2015 by Sherry W.

We have made it into the DOUBLE DIGITS my people! 10 Episodes in & wowsers numero ten-o was a TEN alright. This is a whole lotta awesome jam packed into one episode…I like it like that.

Everyone involved in the production of OUTLANDER! THAT’S WHO!

First they start the episode with a cockin of a pistol…uh-huh. I know most people missed that lil reference. Me however – I never miss a cocking. Then *phew* was it hot in there or was it just me?

Girl…So hawt. Tres hawt.

Claire. Claire. Claire. It seems…Wheaties ain’t got nothing on you. You. Are The Breakfast Of Champions! (Well at least one champion we all know & love) Talk about starting your morning off with a bang. Oh wait…they didn’t quite make it that far did they? THANKS Murtagh! Seems Murtagh “SceneStealingEyeBrowRaisin’SexyTimeInterrupting” Fraser just does not know when to stop knockin so others can continue knockin.(boots that is). At least Jamie had the decency to finish the job he started before answering the door. Finished it diligently & thoroughly. According to the sounds Claire was making, quite loudly. Those doors…must be pretty damn thick, or Murtagh hasn’t cleaned the shit outta his ears in quite some time if he didn’t pick up on her satisfactory tones. There must have been at least once in Murtagh’s life he encountered a very sexually satisfied woman, because he recognized pretty quick when he saw it laying in bed. He had the where with all to at least look a bit abashed at the interruption. That last all of about a microsecond. Murtagh wastes no time! Being Jamie’s own personal town crier he let him know what was up. The Dink of Sandwiches…hmmm…nope…Dude of Boysaks…nope… Oh right. Duke of Sandringham,

This might help ring your Dukely Bell

(The last guess was pretty close -Just saying *ahem*) is in the area so now is the time to try and get Jamie off the hook for the murder of the English dragoon. That everyone knows Creepy Captain Jackoff Randall killed- not Jamie. Claire’s tingle factor has gone down substantially now that Murtagh & his eyebrows have entered the room. She has started hearing the chatter & remembering her previous life. She is not inclined to let Jamie trust Duke BootyHammer, no way no how! She lets the fellas know its because Creepy n Booty are in bed together…well…now there’s a thought isn’t it? *shudder* Jamie takes off w Murtagh to talk to Ned “iknoweverything” Gowan. At first he’s like “This is hopeless give it up”…but NO I am the great and powerful Neddie Can DO, I can fix anything you can screw up. Murtagh of course just want to hand out a hanging. Why not? If one person would look good with a rope neck tie…it’s Creep Master General! Chances are he would be using it for something kinky though. Don’t digress like I just did, the visuals ARE disturbing. Claire, left to her own devices for a while means BIZNEZ! She is not letting Laoghaire leave nasty shit under HER bed. Nu-uh! At first Laoghaire “WHO ME?” MacKenzie plays blonde and pretends she has no idea what Claire is getting at with the ill wish but she can’t hold onto the mental stability table for long. One of the table legs give out from under her as soon as Claire says “He’s just not into you.”

SNAP! Spoiled girl goes CRAYCRAY

That sends Loose Laoghaire straight over the castle walls and into the dismal mean girl zone. Declaring that Jamie is hers, always was hers & ONE DAY WILL BE AGAIN. Book fans all over the globe groan. Yeah…because we know she isn’t all that insane after all, is she now? Then she hits Claire below the belt. Saying Jamie must have to get himself drunk in order to hit the sheets with her cold english ass. Claire does not take this lightly and bitch slaps her. Pretty sure I heard cheers all the way from my newfie friends. Not sure why but Claire apologized – I thought a throat punch may have been more effective. Ummm…that was my outside voice wasn’t it? That’s gonna get me in trouble one day. Again. Then just when Claire felt bad for smacking the spoilt wee nit, LooseLips Laoghaire keep flappin her gums & tells her the only “friend” in the world she has is the one that sold her the illwish in the first place. Way to go Geillis. How’s that knife feel Claire, buddy ole pal? Deep enough for ya?

Awww somebody just got hurt real bad. Not cool.

Claire, never one to leave well enough alone, goes in search of Geillis. She finds F’arthur instead. In serious agony with rumblies in his tumblies. She passes along some medicine to his maid before he orders her to be gone. The maid however passes a little message to Claire that Geillis will be in the woods just before dawn if she really wants to meet her. Won’t be anything weird about that will there?

It wasn’t weird- per say. Mystical. Voyeuristic. Mesmerizing. I couldn’t pull my eyes away. The wee squeaks, moans & panting sounds the witch was making…because no one in their right mind can deny it now. Girlfriend. She IS a witch. (If if dances like a witch, chants like a witch & blows smoke like a witch…it’s a damn witch). Honestly, I felt more dirty watching her with her arcorns than I did while Jamie was having his breakfast.

So uncomfortable. Must watch!

That, my friends, is a stunning testament to Lotte VerBeeks acting ability. She KILLED that scene. Along with a few people…(that to come). I really enjoyed the editing as well, Claire seeing the druid dancers flashing back with Geillis. Cool trick bro.

The dialogue between Claire and Geillis after her ummm…summonsing was – entertaining. Acting like this was the most normal thing she could have been up to and Claire looking at her like. You KNOW you are cracked right? But…you’re my only friend…kinda…MAN I am SO desperate for friends I will even take the likes of YOU!

Geillis, thank goodness packed some clothes, I was worried she was going to contract a case of nipplitis that not even Claire could cure. In case you are wondering. Nipplitis. TOTALLY a thing. Serious condition here in Canada. Many women suffer from this, such a tragedy.

That coat she was wearing. Pure genius on the part of Terry & friends in the costume department. Read about it here. Super cool. She looks like someone who had just rolled off the crazy faery hillside. They mended all their fences, Geillis fed Claire some bullshit story that she didn’t know the ill wish was for her *cough* yeah right *cough*. Since she knew the illwish was a bunch of pussywillows & sticks all wrapped up with string, it didn’t matter at all to her anyway. It was just like when Claire gave the stupid little girl a vile of horse poop. You see, they are connected those two. They walk through the woods, they chat, or Geillis gossips, about Dougal, his ugly wife. Her words not mine. Gifts she has been given, their love, their baby.

Then we hear…a baby. They both hear it but only one of them cares. 3 guesses…first 2 don’t count! Claire wants to go to the crying baby & Geillis explains to her that its a Faery hill & even though SHE is the one dressed for the event, neither of them should go ANYWHERE near that damned hill! Those parents left that baby there on purpose so the faeries could give their healthy baby back that they stole from them & take that sick faery back. You know, weird shit like that. Silly superstitious nonsense & Claire knew it. Claire also knew the baby was just not thriving and probably could get better…maybe could. Geillis was like..”Screw You… after I just blew all that smoke up your ass about being my friend and how you could get me burnt at the stake…nope you are on your own – I am out! Later!”

Geillis’s cat stunt double

Claire, once again on her own & traipsing through the woods, lost & alone. She REALLY should stop doing this. It never ends well. Like. EVER. She hears some ragged coughs a few gasps of breath…the crying stops. Never a good sign. A few moments later closer to the top of the hill there is a huge tree w a small bundle. This just ain’t right. Nothing about this is right. She takes the bundle from the tree. We all know what she finds isn’t good. The baby is dead and there isn’t anything she can do for it. She does what we many would do. Sits down & grieves for it.

More feels. They take over. Then the man on the horse shows up. Jamie. Damn, he rides in and so much becomes better. He speaks so gently to her. Even though she holds such venom for the superstitions that have taken this babies life. Jamie was raised with them…he is able to explain it to her without sounding ignorant. Giving her comfort too. *BIG SIGH* His voice & demeanor is like a massive HUG to the soul. JAMIE IS A SOUL HUG! I like it…I like it a lot. #SoulHugMoment. My favourite part of this moment was when Claire looked in Jamie’s eyes and asked him to take her HOME.

We then we come to the reading & signing of THE DOCUMENT! The petition of complaint. You know the one. The one that will go down in history. Claire knows it, I see the hesitancy on her face because she knows how Frank pours over documents like this. As soon as her signature is there then…BOOM. So is she.

We get to meet the Duke next & surprise! Claire is doing stuff she shouldn’t be doing but OH she should. Sticking her nose in where it shouldn’t be…but OH it should. Testing the waters so to speak. This is because Claire is from another time. No wallflower is she. She is putting hers firmly on the table with the Duke. Don’t screw with me dude! Your balls…are mine.

Considering he is used to dealing with men or boys…*ahem*…he isn’t quite sure how to deal with this one. So he hands over his set to her…for now. Let’s just say.

Back to the castle we go to watch one hell of a performance by Graham McTavish. Seriously Dougal. Go home…you’re drunk. Oh wait, you were home…kinda. Turns out, Geillis’s summonsing turned out to be pretty darned effective and Dougal’s wife caught a fever and boom, within days. Died. Dougal taken over by…not sure its grief or guilt got blithering drunk & went postal in the Great Hall. Colum – is not a happy camper. He sent out the fella’s to find Claire to mix up one of her sedatifs *wink* to settle him the hell down.

Dougal put on quite a show. Hollering & fighting anyone that got in his way. Crying about his poor dead wife, Maura, ummm…talking about how no one would have found her attractive – even a blind dude – but that she still didn’t deserve him. Yeah, point taken buddy. Angus, spry & smart, gathered up Claires sleeping potion. Enough to fell a horse apparently – cuz it did, into a bottle of port & gave cheers to Dougal’s dead wife encouraging Dougal to drink more, he did…then…TIMBER – down went the big man- not in the good way. Only took 6 of ’em to carry him out of the hall.

Geillis & Claire meet in the courtyard. Geillis is giddy her handy work was effective. Claire is thinking shes crazy- it was just a coincidence & besides you still have a husband remember? We get the GeillisGiggle. Only…it isn’t very funny is it?

Back to the Duke’s. Look who is in trews? Yup, Jamie. Our hero knows when he has to guard his back door doesn’t he? I mean…sure Murtagh is there but you can never be too careful can you?

The tete & tete & tete between them was…interesting and down right comical at times. The Duke touching Murtagh, it was like you could see it on his face he wanted to go & wash in the nearest trough or punch him in the nearest throat. *snort*. Having Jamie take part in the dual with him as his second for his scrubbing of his back. GREAT way to implement the story & HAHAHA! LOVED it.

There has been sooooo much speculation in the fandom since that dual clip came out & EVERYONE knew exactly what it was of course. Naturally NO ONE knew…this was BRILLIANT. Again. LOVE what they did. Not because I HAVE to but because it was SMART! The way the Duke petted Jamie’s face…his reaction. This was just awesome.

The Duke was apparently getting his fingers on everyone in the room 😛

SO much happened in the episode it was kinda epic really. The Great Hall was next & this is where…it didn’t take a summonsing. Geillis was done with F’Arthur. It was time his show came to a close…it was time for his grande finale! It was a huge dinner in honour of the Duke and cyanide was F’Arthurs main course. When he went down – Geillis pushed her chair back and let him – watched in silence – let Claire take care of business, pulled out a newspaper & cigarette…ok…maybe she didn’t do that but she sure looked disinterested those first few moments.

Everyone stood…agast…then she stood. She & Dougal made doe eyes across the crowded room. Over the foaming & dead mouth of her bloated body of a husband, a calculating Twistycone figuring out everything staring at them both…it was SO romantic!

SO MUCH SARCASM

Then…to the dual with the MacDonalds that Jamie has promised to be Dukie boys second for. It had to the be the most pathetic excuse for a dual like. Ever. Two what looked like old guys shooting blanks at each other. Then deciding to drink to it. It was the – what comes after that make it interesting. 3 nasty little MacDonald boys with little man syndrome have to start measuring each others wieners verbally. Jamie goes and makes a bit of a mistake – throws a “Yo Mama” joke at them but TURNS his back on them. At least the wee twit who goes after him had the presence of mind to yell “Buggering Sodomite” at him before he struck. Bit redundant isn’t he?

buggers sodomize…sodomites bugger…yes…yes

Here we get to see Jamie’s AWESOMENESS with a sword…n…stuff. He took a beating but kept on tickin! Damn that was fun to watch! I don’t suppose Jamie will want McDonalds for a while. I felt the same after the last time I had it too. But then again, I’m a glutard.

That was pretty funny shit when Duke TailBetweenmyLegs Sandringham came running over telling Jamie, “Now make sure you let your wife know THIS wasn’t my fault! Here, let me take this petition and get it taken care of. Buh Bye Now! You lay here and catch your breathe I’m going. I’m a big puss.”

Imma chickenshit

Not that Claire cared whose fault it was. Silent treatment was given when he was being stitched up. Pretty sure she regretted that with what was to follow.

Twistylegs McTwisterson pissing all over EVERYONE! Holy CRAP…little man anger is very loud and big. No one was free of his ire. Dougal couldn’t even CRY to get sympathy…the little meany LAUGHED at him when he did. So BANISHED! He banished Dougal to his home. Go home to your dead wife. You can’t be here for your pregnant mistress cuz she is a witch & a temptress…no way you are marrying her. I will take care of that shit! It is ABOUT TO GET REAL ‘ROUND HERE! Jamie…YOU are going too- without your wife. DON’T you talk or I will cut out that tongue you have become so good at using.

NOT the TONGUE!

Seriously Twisty…that was going too far. Pulling the tongue card. How incredibly UNJUST! And for the record young Jamie…you will be BABYSITTING Dougal. You have displeased the wee king of the castle SO much by shedding McDonald blood without HIS permission, you are being punished too. WTG Jamie. So not cool.

Now, time for Jamie & Claire to say their goodbyes. What’s the first thing Jamie says to her? STAY AWAY from Geillis Duncan because TwistyLegs plans on punishing her. STAY AWAY! BE CAREFUL. She says she will – but we know better.

She NEVER listens. Never. Never. Listens.

So Jamie swallows her goodbye. *snort* Good one Dougal. Way to break up the feels. Real kneeslapper!

The tender loving moments between Jamie & Claire capture us now don’t they? *sigh* He rides off with her watching him. She tells him to come back to her “As soon as I can” he says and kisses her forhead. Collective FanSigh.

Next up…Tomas Tomas Tomas…sure he looks scared poopless but really kid. This woman saved your life & now you’re passing her this fake note to send her to Geillis? *sigh*

This is what our note would have said.

Claire confronts Geillis on poisoning F’Arthur, she is scandalized & completely out to lunch. Thinking Dougal will protect her. Yeah ummm, he’s gone. TwistyLegs, is the only one left & he kinda is the one with all the power and he wants ye burnt…like yesterdays toast.

We interrupt this witch burning for a Canadian Heritage moment

Back to our regularly scheduled programming. G- know it now…You are hooped! And because Claire didn’t see our part of the note…the wardens get 2 sorceresses for the price of 1. WTG. You are going to have a fine time getting out of this one.

Then because the production is class A rubbing salt in the wound of Claire “can’t just suffer that much” Fraser. We have a lovely shot of the wee pot stirrer. Laoghaire. The person we ALL love to hate. Beautiful. Yet…she looks a wee bit different – Green about the middle somehow.

Claire sees her. I think if she could go all hulk on those steel bars – she would. Underestimated that one didn’t you?

See you all next time! Don’t forget EVERY Sunday we try to LIVE TWEET with our Showcase viewing. 8 pm MST. #OutlanderCAN

If you wanna play before the next blog – swing by our TWITTER. @ABOotlanders or leave a comment here. I will probably reply. Eventually.

A bunch of us are heading down to The Expo in Calgary this week/end. It’s going to be FUN times. GRAHAM MCTAVISH people. That’s right. I will be attempting to touch him. #THUD

The end.

SL the ABOotiest of ABOotlanders

It’s a Droughtlander Mirage…Nope…Nope …It’s FREAKIN EPISODE 9! Right there on the horizon!

April 4, 2015 by Sherry W.

That’s right my CanknuckleHeads…Episode 9 is right around the corner. Yes we need to wait one day more than our American friends…but WHO THE HELL CARES?! Showcase did it for us…YES THEY DID! ONE DAY…not 2 weeks like last time. They done cleaned the shit outta their ears and heard the fans. They have been picking up the pace lately. Wicked!

Did you ALL SEE THIS? It is a contest put on by Showcase. All you have to do is watch Outlander. Seriously…tough job man. There will be a “secret word”, follow some simple instructions (You can dooooo eeet!)

and some lucky son of a biznatch will win a trip to Scotland, a tour of SET & lots of other goodies…I mean FOR REALS! That is a HUGE step up from the $25.00 Subway gift card NO? WTG Showcase. Way to step up the game.

We know that Starz had a premature release of Episode 9…and usually women aren’t too fond of the premature release idea. However this time, our friends in the States went BATSHITCRAYCRAY on social media.

Making the rest of us…slightly jealous. Suuuuuuure we are happy for them. Suuuuuuuuure.

Nope…Ain’t even mad. Nu-uh. Happy for you bit…very good friends.

Now, what to do while we wait the 30 some odd hours until Outlander returns to our screens. I suggest drink heavily or sleep your way through it. Pass the time anyway you can to shorten it up. You know, you can always watch your DVD’s on loop, all the special features until the Episode airs. That’s a thing

You don’t even have to put pants on

You will see the @ABOotlander crew live tweeting with you each week. We use the hashtag #OutlanderCAN , come join us! The more the merrier. You don’t even have to be Canadian. You can cue up your PVR & we will tell you where are commercials are. Uh-huh…we have those. I know. It’s ok, you can use those to refill your drink or take a potty break. So as you can see, w can make you an honourary one of us. Believe me, you will LOVE the outfit!

See ya on the flip side! 18th century Scotland…here we come!

SL – AB-ootiest of AB-Ootlanders

There are some Heart Stones I would like to travel through. 4 yrs please.

February 23, 2015 by Sherry W.

Us ABOotlanders are great at tickling your funny bone. We know. You have told us. We are also good at making you think. We know. We have offended you.

Oh…offended…that’s when you identify personally with what I am saying. Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Today, we are going to maybe make you think about those who have left this world a little earlier than you wanted them to.

4 years ago today. I received an unexpected message. Brig, my Original Outlander partner in crime, died. She…just…was….gone.

My heart hurts.

I hadn’t spoken to her for a long time. Regret. Guilt. Both set in. So…I go through my very own mental stones. The stones of my heart. To the moments we shared.

This is where I smile.

Brig & I.

Discovering Outlander together. Devouring the books. Brig called me laughing one night saying “I can’t believe what I did, I told Tom I was sick, put the book under my sweater (it probably had flowers on it…I loved her sweaters) and went to bed to read.” This was SO funny because really, you never met a more pragmatic woman…as Brig. She was GERMAN. Very German. She taught me so much about life.

We would go for coffee at the local Timmie’s in Pembroke, Ont. This is when they had a smoking FishBowl built in. We would smoke & drink coffee after coffee. Don’t judge eh? The ventilation was awesome I tell ya! *cough* This was a looooooong time ago! (and yes, I quit smoking many many years since)

YAK YAK *cough* *cough* YAK YAK

We talked Jamie. We talked Claire. We talked the diabolical mind that was Diana Gabaldon & what it would be like to meet her one day. (The day I finally did. I thought of Brig…and she was gone.) Brig was so enamoured with Jamie & she was the first of us to bring up the chance of a movie. The more discussion we had on the subject…we came to the conclusion. A movie would NEVER do. They would have to make a TV series out of this but boy would what we knew of TV have to change. Brig said boobs on TV would happen. Men pay for porn why not people paying for TV? She was a smart woman. Telling the future and shit. She was a witchy woman. Her hubby called ME Dragon Lady but his own wife – she was the scary one! Another reason I loved her so much. She was always thinking out of the box with me. She never called me crazy when I did it. O.k. She DID call me crazy but ran right along with me! Ok…she walked, we didn’t like running…it made us breathe heavy – could have been all the smoking back then. The things you do when you’re young…*shake my head*

When we talked about Jamie, we were pretty singular in our thinking. There was NO ONE that could play the part. O.K. There was but we hadn’t met him yet. 1st- He had to be a theatrically trained actor. HAD to. No one else could possible catch those nuances. No one. 2nd- He had to be a Scot. Not to be able to do the accent but to be able to get to the heart of Jamie. C’mon, you know it as well as we do, an Englishman or an American could NOT capture the heart of who Jamie is…get that connection. Nope…can’t ever convince me. Jamie is not just a character. Brig used to say Jamie IS the Highlands so if he comes to life only a Scot can dig into that. It always made sense to me. 3rd- He couldn’t be a big star. Why? Because people had to be able to see him become Jamie. Not see whatever other roles he had played overshadow this one.

You know what else I think of when I think of Brig? Besides the fact that this woman passed away before ever seeing the EXACT version of her Jamie come to life?

She never got the chance to complain about it. She never got the chance to whine about inconsistencies in the show or pick it apart. Lily of the valley or Claire’s squished boobs – you know why? Because she passed away before her dream of seeing it become a reality came about. Not that she would have because she likely would have felt extraordinarily grateful for being alive to see the pictures come to fruition in front of her. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the fact that we have the right to complain, the ability to see nuances or just because we can…we forget…to be happy or grateful for what we have…that WE CAN – and to simply live in the light of that.

I hadn’t spoken to Brig for a couple of years before she died. I moved away from the place we lived, life got busy…you know. Life goes on. Until it doesn’t. And then we wish we could go back.

I know for a fact if Brig didn’t die, Outlander, the TV show, would have been the thing that brought us back together…and that makes me so so sad. Every time I hear the opening credits, every time & I do mean every time, I see Sam Heughan as Jamie…I think of Brig, I say to myself “Are you SEEING this?” I know she would go into “SQEEEE times 3” mode. Believe me, Brig was NOT the SQEEE kinda gal but for this…she would be shocking everyone in her life. We would be back on the phone laughing; like the years we didn’t talk, never happened. We would be sharing our memories like we WILLED these moments to happen. She would have adored Caitriona Balfe. Strong women were her kryptonite. It was the one thing she strove for – to be sure her daughter was a strong woman, independent. Brig knew her parents loved her, and she loved them. Physical love, however, wasn’t a strong presence in her upbringing. She promised herself, her little girl wasn’t going to grow up like that. She was going to be hugged, loved & shown she was the most important person in this world & could do anything she wanted. I have seen that girl grow into a woman…and now a mother of a little girl that Brig didn’t get to hold.

Outlander would have brought me and Brig back to all of these things. We would be doing our form of Fangirling all over again. But we aren’t…because she’s not and it breaks my squeeing heart.

Brig wherever you are, it’s happening. I hope you can see it. I hope you can read over Diana’s shoulder to see what I can’t. I hope you can watch the filming, where I can’t.

You have a beautiful grand-daughter …

Beautiful wee lassie Madelyn Brigitte

staring up at you. I hope she will grow up knowing her Glamma was one of the original Outlander Fangirls.

I hope you have a peaceful heavenly birthday. Blow out those candles Brig, you know…like the good old days.

You know BLOW is just an expression RIGHT!?
We are in PUBLIC! *She loved me*

I miss you my original Outlander Posse…with all my heart.

Sher

POSTSCRIPT due to *lovely*DM

Before you ASSume that our time in our fishbowl is what caused Brigs death – it’s not, not even close.

BE KIND! Few things piss me off more than people saying someone “asked” to die because of behaviours or risks they take in life. It is THEIR life…THEIR risks. We all do take risks but it doesn’t mean we want to die. To hell with this foolishness that people deserve death because they took the skihill beyond their capabilities, or they became addicted to something, or they loved too hard, or they were sick…to hell with that. SO THERE.

Outlander Bedtime Stories – Droughtlanders in the Bedroom

February 10, 2015 by Sherry W.

I have been reading the Outlander books for over 20 yrs. Repeatedly. I have hardcover copies, tattered & well loved paper back copies, a kobo ebook with all the books & the audio books in my vehicle so I can listen to them wherever I go.

Which has made for some fun conversations with Diana Gabaldon on Twitter. Oh that woman is fun!

You might say I have a problem…it’s that whole #cracklander dealio we first talked about in October. You know something…I still have my teeth, I don’t get the shakes there are no open sores. I might occasionally sweat a little bit – maybe I twitch but you have no idea how cute I look when I do it – so IT’S ALL GOOD!

My husband…my dear, sweet wonderful husband. I have been with him for over 26 yrs, married going on 22.

Insert AWWWWW here We were always friggen adorable. Don’t mind the porn stach…it was the 80’s…we both regret it

He was never a friend of #JAMMF. Just never liked him. Always saying his name in a high pitched whine. Jaaaaaaaammmiiiiiieeeeee! Referred to as my book boyfriend. The one who could do no wrong.

It was subtle. Annoying. A little funny at times as he really knew only little tidbits he saw on the back of a random book or heard what a friend & I talking about over coffee w our SIGHING, Oooh Jamie’s & generally fangirling before we even knew what the hell fangirling was.

It did however, look like this, even 20 years ago- at my kitchen table.

It was just a slight hate on and general discontent UNTIL…they announced…THE SHOW…and Jamie had a real live FACE. It was Sam Heughan bringing James Fraser to life. DUN DUN DUN! and…really….what a face. AMMIRIGHT?

He HAD said, many years ago…he refused to read the book but if they ever made it a TV show. He’d watch it…Fat chance I thought. Like that would ever happen. It would have to be EPIC. My first kitchen table girlfriend Brig (RIP Brig) & always said Jamie would have to be an unknown, a Scot, & preferably a theater actor…

They went ahead and rang our bell 3 times! Ugh! *SQUIRREL*

SO HA! I got him.

*In his defense* The man, who is my husband, doesn’t read ANYTHING. Ok…thats a lie, if it has glossy pages and hangs over the back of the toilet, he will take a minute or two.

This means, we watched.I was surprised he gave it chance. He loved it. Not just because of THE BENEFITS. He loved Claire, her character (he’s a dude, he likes her bewbs too, not gonna lie). Dougal…badass supreme…and once the series went on hiatus he hit the WTF happens next wall???

Well…I knew…he knew HOW I knew…and he knew I would read it again & he hates reading so…HE ASKED ME TO READ IT TO HIM! *THUD* No way? A dream come friggen true! He wants me…to read my favourite story…to him…at night…before we fall asleep? Every night? What the who?

GASPINCANUCKALHEADS

There have been many times I thought I hit the husband jackpot. Seriously. The dude is a chef. He does laundry. Brings me coffee in the mornings. Washes dishes. Rubs my feet & I don’t even spend a lot of time on the suckers… This was the million dollar spin my people…the million dollar mutherstinkin spin! All because he can’t stand not KNOWING! He knew the info was out there in the form of a book, a really big book. If it looked like this…that would be a maybe for on his own but it doesn’t so it became our little bedtime ritual. I didn’t realize how entertaining he was going to be. When we got to Dragonfly in Amber (which we are 34% through now) I started hashtagging it on twitter. #Outlander #bedtimestories for anyone that might be interested.

I am going to flash back a bit here to show you a little of what the late night reads of Outlander sounded like…

“Wait…Dougal has hair?” “What colour is rustit?” Apparently…understanding the TV & my reading is just as easy…russet…not rustit…I still had to explain what colour russet was too. It’s that same colour as rustit if you are curious. You will get about 50 different shades if you hit the google when you look for russet…look up rustit, you are on your own.

“Jelly is just as freaky in the book” Jelly is what he calls Geillis – if you didn’t catch that on your own.

“Ok. I knew why you were hot for Jamie when I watched him in the show but this lady writes him like a GOD! Who can compete with that?” Oh babe…you can. When I close my eyes. Heehee. My man does dishes & laundry. Huge score.

I find it highly annoying that my man figures things out in the read. Like people don’t really die. I was always shocked when someone popped up later in the book. Him, when you hear of their death, he says something like “Yep RIGHT! Bet they come back! That lady (DG) seems like she likes to mess with peoples heads!”

When we got to Wentworth things got uncomfortable. Hubs knew the outcome of what BJR did to Jamie. He used to tease my friends and I all the time. His lame attempts to make Jamie seem less masculine. “He gets it in the bum you know? Right!?”

In the where!?

Yeah… I never said he was the most mature ok?

That was his way of emasculating this book hero that he was jealous of. It became his “go to line”.

But…no…not butt. But, work with me people.

It was bedtime story time. Claire found Jamie. I was shocked at his reaction. He cried. My husband.

Shhhh ‘sok

He cried when Claire left him behind. I always cried & he went ahead & cried along with me “There’s something in my eye. It’s Claire. God, Diana is good. This part is gonna be tough to watch for real.” For REAL! He said for real. These characters have become real for him. The lump in my throat became a physical thing I had to swallow.

*GULP*

I was a little surprised when he didn’t blink that Claire killed a wolf. WITH her bare hands. “Yeah…Claire killed a wolf. Now if she’d been drinking like she always does..she would have become kibble, tasty kibble, whisky kibble.” Point made.

He knew what was coming next & all joking was aside, well maybe not all…guys gotta remain macho. “I don’t think I shoulda ate those chicken wings, my belly is a bit shaky.” “Marley – dude- you are givin me an innie.” & the forever famous “How am I ever supposed to get a boner again after hearing you read this stuff?”

No. More. Boners.Ever.

We got through Wentworth with more than a few “Holy shits” “Htf can someone even THINK of that kinda stuff to write it down?” & “I don’t even know if I can kiss your damn mouth after you said those gnarly things. “Jackie must not have been breast fed. Or loved. Ever.By anyone…was he left in a haystack by a pack of monkies?” He likes to call BJR Jackie. It is his way to emasculate HIM now.

It made me giggle when he asks to see the book jacket. “Let me see your book. I need to see who wrote this stuff again! Her? She doesn’t look like a twisted sicko…she looks sweet.Whats up with that?”

She does look sweet does’t she? *wink*

Rescuing Jamie was a high point for him. He of course KNEW that would happen (as he reminded me OVER & OVER & OVER again) as I had 7 other books on my shelves. Who the hell did I think was the hero in those? DERP!

What kinda idiot did I think he was anyway?

Let’s not answer that right now.

However, the use of cows was a pretty “crazy ass” thing to do…and even though Dougal is one of his favourite characters in both Book & in the TV show, hubcycle mentioned numerous times he was extremely disappointed in the douche move of not helping Claire out in the rescue attempt. Saying he missed out on some huge possible “cop a feel” points if Jamie was stuck there a while.

Dougal, you have let him down…so sad

He thinks if HE was Dougal, he would have (copped a feel is MY guess). So he made sure I knew that he hopes Ron fixes that. For the record, I think he believes he is most like Dougal. More because he thinks I am most like Geillis (It must be the bat shit crazy and that they like to bang boots).

He was a fan of the hand setting. All of the “cool & groady” comments clinched it & he really enjoyed McRannoch. He however was not a fan of the “Crisco bum” moment as he called it. For him, some things are better left unimagined. He really would rather not think about that any more than he had to.

No can compute.Delete now.

Hubilicious wondered out loud if they will change the soldier that Claire kills from a 16 yr old boy to a young man…you know so all the ladies won’t get their panties turned inside out. Don’t get your panties turned inside out because I recounted his thoughts verbatim. We both know THAT is going to be hard to watch too if they stay with that little fact. One of those things that make you go…hmmmm. Reading it is one thing…seeing it. Another.

The Abbey was hard enough for me to read on my own all 20 times I had done it.

The first time I have ever read it out loud to someone I love. THAT was tough. It was quiet. Intense. Raw. Intimate. He cried. Again. These characters have struck a chord in him. He feels for them & with him. “You’re tearin my guts out. He said that right?”

Yeah. He did.

Until next time.

SL ABOotlander gal

Singing the Droughtlander Blues. Christmas Carol style.

December 24, 2014 by Sherry W.

BAHAHA…drowning sorrows. NOT really. We are having a blast with our Droughtlander. I mean how cool is it that everyone is using the term that made its debut here? Not surprising really. Bloody witty bunch are we.

I was wrapping presents when I thought about this #HeughliFUN pic I did of Angus. I love this guy, no teeth and everything. Except when he gets road rage. That’s not attractive…I digress.

and thought to myself…”Self…(yes…what else would I call myself? Yes, crazy bitch, but at that moment I wasn’t feeling as rude as you are right now…so back off eh?) Self…what other Outlander characters could you make #HeughliFUN pics in relation to Christmas.” Well, let’s just say…the ideas started flying out of my head. So wrapping stopped. SEE how it stopped!

Since I have AOD= Attention Outlander Disorder. It’s an effin thing o.k.??? Just like we made Droughtlander a thing…we are making AOD a thing. Deal with it. I jumped from the wrapping…and not like rapping…I’m a very white Canadian girl, I really should never do that. Like ever.

nerdy Canadian rapping…shhhh yer lips

Thinking of some of my favourite Christmas carols & it is so easy to picture my favourite Outlander characters with them.

My late mother loved the song “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” Ironic huh? Well of course now…I’m thinking this year anyway…Claire! She sure isn’t going to be but…I suppose it’s because I go to the place in my head with this song, huh?

Yep Claire…right there. Home.

Who else for Deck The Halls but Rupert…who literally decks people in halls? It was redumbdiculously obvious wasn’t it? I liked it fine.

He has the cutest “Imma punch you in the mouth” face.

Singing can sometimes be bloody uncomfortable. Especially when we are deep into our cups. WE think we sound freaking fabulous…when in reality we sound much like ass. The song sounds a little like “What Child is THIS?” eh Hamish? See foot…insert mouth. DERP!

We have Away in A Manger. Jamie sleeps in one right? Claire goes and trips over his sorry hide in Episode 4. Comparing Jamie to Jesus…its a bit much but if you spend ANY time on social media at all…you’ve seen it. Don’t even pretend.

Now don’t any prudes get their panties in a game of twister. This shit is funny right here. O Come O Come Emmanuel. You all better know where I am going with this one right here. It made me snort. Like snort, snort. Jamie had one helluva night on the Wedding episode. Yes, so did Claire but you know when you are the student – the MIND BLOWN moments were kinda awesome!

You know who is having a Blue Christmas? This GUY! Poor ole Frankmeister. Left alone to drown in his own sorrows.

He does have his own tribe of admirers though. Tobias’s Tribe. Lover’s of Frank. We have a few in our Heughliots group. Karen. She’s got it bad. Tobias fever. We thought about getting her fixed but we like her fine.

I know Christmas Carols have some lovely meaning to them, religious and deep. I want you all to remember, this blog. Isn’t. Its fun and shallow. Like a kiddie pool, without the pee. Please, don’t pee on the blog.

One of my FAVE parts of the show is when those boys, and yes, I call them boys are being boys. Rupert & Angus, the shinty game & of course when Dougal of all people is acting like a 12 yr old boy to get a laugh. This brings me to my next carol. Go Tell it on the Mountain!

Really this is the concept of non-evolution at its best. Men. They still do this. Hell…so do women. It’s called ENJOYING LIFE. Bewbies. They can be funny. Deal with it.

I refuse to end this fun without my favourite “I hate this guy” Mr.Creepy McCreeperson Nasty General Dual Face UGH! Randall. Of course his carol is simple. Mr.GRINCH!

Oh this carol suits you BJR…Big Jerk Randall.

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel,
You’re as cuddly as a cactus, you’re as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch,
You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch,
Your heart’s an empty hole,
Your brain is full of spiders, you have garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch,
I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch,
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch,
Given a choice between the two of you I’d take the seasick crocodile!

You’re a rotter, Mr. Grinch,
You’re the king of sinful sots,
Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch,
You’re a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch,
With a nauseous super “naus”!,
You’re a crooked dirty jockey and you drive a crooked hoss, Mr. Grinch,
Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!

You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch,
You’re a nasty wasty skunk,
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch,
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,
“Stink, stank, stunk”!

Yes, I know Diana has said she is BJR. I like to think she isn’t the part that puts a knife to the nipple of helpless women and goes flaccid when they stand up to her. Well..wait a second. I don’t think she CAN be that part *wink*

That wraps up our Christmas Carols meet Outlander. Oh CRAP…WRAP…OMG…I have so much wrapping left to do. Why the hell do you people let me get so distracted? Yes. Your fault!

You all are not good for me. Just saying.

Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Celebrate your Holiday with as much love and joy as humanly possible. If you are another species…then, have at ‘er!

With LOVE and AWESOMEBALLS,

SherryLynn & all of the other Heughliots

Cheers!

Idle minds start an Outlander Styled Commune on Deserted Scottish Isle. Way To Go Starz.

November 14, 2014 by Sherry W.

Now you’ve done it! 165 women…and counting- because wait until the other Outlander ladies in Alberta here about THIS plan. They are gonna be ALL up in our grill. It is going to be like an episode of the Littlest Hobo being followed down that secluded highway in the middle of Ontario- only they will be on the shoulder of the QE 2 in Alberta…so much more dangerous. We are badasses like that, doncha know.

Maybe tomorrow, I’ll want to settle down…in Scotland…LET’S GO MY BITCHES!

It has come to our attention there is an Island for sale in the extreme north of Scotland. We have mentioned we are Canadian right. Extreme north is like saying our BACKYARD. No biggy eh? They also said it was a LONELY island. All that envokes from these Canadian lasses is a in unison “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww – it’s loooooonely. It needs a big ole Canadian bear hug. Poor little scottish isle!”

So…what do the Heughliots decide? We are a smarticle bunch I tell you. It’s like we can solve all the worlds problem from a FB group.

So. It’s 250,000 pounds stirling you say eh buddy? Ok…so we do the conversion. Well, google does the conversion. Let’s not be silly. That makes it $444,896.03 Canadian dollars. (That does change by the hour so don’t send me an email telling me I’m wrong) There are 165 Heughliots, this means MATH. I am not good at it but there is this real cool thing called a CAL-CU-LATOR that does the math for me. $2696.34 a piece. We are not dumb girls (well except the Math thing – and that’s just me). We figure if we throw in $4000 a piece, we get the isle, lawyer fees & our airfare. Sorry- not sorry- family – I AM disappearing. Our exotic Consuelo, thinks if you jack your investment to $6000 you also get to be one of the big guns that get first stake on the land holdings. It’s a good thing Raylean knows her math, she will be the isles accountant and sheriff, that way we can push her in a cell pretty easy if we have to.

The isle doesn’t seem too mountainous, so we need to build a munro. We figure we will build it of live lassies. And invite Sam Heughan and his friends to come bagg us. I think it would make for a fun interactive afternoon and could be quite challenging for all of us!

BEST MUNRO EVER!

So yeah…we are getting shit figured out here right good. Kathy P. She is a mental health teacher and obviously girlfriend has her work cut out for her with this lot. She might just have the hardest job on the island so she is very important to us. Not to mention she will be channeling her inner Ian because she is a wicked hand with a bow and can fish like Rollo. Really, this girl will be guarded. Tammy & Christine will be her Angus and Rupert. They may be drunk on the whisky cache half the time but that’s ok. Girls gotta do what girls gotta do. Plus think, if Cait gets a day off from filming. She has some like minded women to escape to. Eat, drink & drink. Drink some more. I am pretty sure Karen will learn how to make the stuff…

I am pretty sure our whisky cache will last 3 hours, 22 minutes and 33 seconds.

We are pretty modern folk, and this island, even though, we wouldn’t be going “back” in time, doesn’t have running water and power would need to be wind generated. Obviously, we have PLENTY of hot air. It will be a bit of life lesson for most of us. I am thinking many of our members will be bar wenches and on our board of directors. It has been spoken by Raylean & Lee that body searches and auditions from the mainland WILL be needed. In fact, they are demanding them. Naturally- some of these Moms will want to bring their children. I demand we put the wee buggers into servitude.

UGH! Children

But for the jobs those little weak people can’t do and the houses they can’t build, we need to hire some hot men in kilts. JOB FAIR TIME! We expect a HUGE influx of hot men in kilts in canoes (they have canoes in Scotland don’t they?) Anyway, they will paddle their way into our hearts. Across the loch to Linga they will come. Applying for all the jobs we don’t want to do, but want to WATCH them do. Imagine them walking up the sandy shores into the cells we have built for them. Oh …um…wait. Delete that last statement from your frontal lobe.

Heeeeeere’s HOWIE! This man and his 21 St Century Kilts! Yeah…I have a business boner for this guy! He makes kilts…hot kilts!Wait, that’s redundant!

That sounded a bit crazy. We wont lock them up all the time, we do expect them to earn their keep.

Yup, that’ll do it

The more we discuss this. The more it seems to be a reality in our fantasies.

My friends. The Canadian government got rid of the penny last year. This means the Heughliots have a lot of damn pennies laying around. They are in our junk drawers in the kitchen. They are rolled in our basement laundry room. They are in our spare room closets. They are also in our kids underwear drawers and on top of our fridges in a bowl or old coffee mug. We have them in our offices, in our pen holders…in short, no wait, that was long – we have damn pennies EVERYWHERE! So we can afford the adorable lil island that is hugged by the Shetland Islands…like EASY!

Scottich Isle of Linga…FOR REALS!

As you might have noticed, are an eclectic group. We can make this a functional, effective & productive place. We have lots of talent too. Cathy, has the nursing covered. So she is our Claire…she can take care of anyone that needs it. Vitalia is our herbalist. She makes all sort of neat stuff, medicines & organic off the land foods, shampoos, candles, this neat stuff called Poo-be-Gone that makes your shit not stink (not that mine does anyway but these other folks…-our privies are going to smell like roses).She’s like a witch! If she goes of the rails…we will have our first trial and burn her or something fun like that.

Sharon, she knits all sorts of Mrs. Fitz type stuff. So she will keep super busy keeping us all warm! Girlfriend has mad skills! Sandra can bake bread so she and Consuelo will cook up a storm. Us bitches need food. They’s cray cray but we will put up with them if they feed us. It’s simple. There are plenty of Mom’s on our group – so they can chip in there. Kerri is our animal whisperer. There is lots of wildlife on that island…some we will eat. Some we will train – rephrase- some Kerri will train.

Personally, I love to tell people what to do & how to do it so I will keep these people from killing each other.

Plus, I can shoot a gun. I won’t clean what I shoot…there is bound to be someone there that will. We brought the men in for more than one reason…speaking of which-

Red will run our Bawdy house…you know, some of those boys will probably just be pretty. Everyone will have a place.

We have someone that will be keeping chronicle of our time there. Nikki…she is a great artist so she will be painting as we go. Like Brianna would have if she had come along with us…and if she gets crabbit and bitchy…we will take turns calling her Jocasta. Hmmmm, wait, never mind, I don’t want me to go down in history looking like this.

Kim keeps us all in check and will be our pseudo lawyer- Nedesque. Wendy & Wendy are jacks of all trades plus Cheryl & her mom Lesley babysit us all. Everyone needs the Bugs – well, without the psycho part. This is the commune that has it all. You know you wanna hang with us. We will have a Bed & Breakfast on the Isle and will start taking reservations in 2016.

May I mention, the last known inhabitant of this island…1931 was CAPTAIN JAMES FRASER!!!

WHAT THE WHA?!?!

That is some crazy jacked up shit! I really wonder if the seller threw that in there to get some crazy Outlander fan to buy the island. Cuz…ummm…if they did. IT WORKED. 165 of us are throwing our pennies in the pot! We might want to bring some of that with us. You know…to keep things interesting!

Go ahead, leave a comment, tell us how crazy we are- not that we aren’t aware.

SL Heughliot @ Large-

Here is a wee PostScript – there is an island for sale. No…the heughliots are not buying it. Satire my friends. Like 99.99% of all of our blog spurts. We aren’t very good at serious.

Canada Dry…not the pop- the time between Outlander Episodes 8 & 9. ORIGINAL

October 15, 2014 by Sherry W.

Here we sit. Waiting. This is what happens when you get addicted – Cracklander. You binge out and then there is a dry spell in town, problem is, we can’t hop in the car and go to the big city to score a hit or call Creepy Uncle Jack that Mom doesn’t ever want us to talk to…we have to wait it out.

Do I look impressed? No…it’s because I’m not.

So, we wait. It’s a reallllll good thing that I have a shit load of friends waiting with me, tappin their own veins until episode 9 airs. Our American friends at least “know” their kill switch date. Up here, in the great white…well…we can only hope that Showcase gets it right this time. HINT HINT! Nope. I am NOT known for subtly.

Can you hear me NOW?!

As much as we like leftovers, we prefer not to have them – every – single – meal. Knowhatimsayin?

So? What shall we do while we wait? I have some suggestions for you.

Not all of them are practical and not all of them will particularly help ease the pain.

We tend to either state the obvious, be incredibly sarcastic or…you know…pull shit like this.

When have you known me to be practical or helpful? I’m here to entertain… or create a reasonable facsimile of humour in some form. I think you may be getting used to that concept by now eh?

We have to FIRST stop complaining that there is a break. There’s a break. Will complaining stop the break? Nooooooo…the break does not stop with the complaining. Yes, I am saying this to myself just as much as I am saying it to everybody else.

Even Jack can’t take it any more

The next step is to DO something about it. We have to pass the time somehow. So LET’S get creative! Sure, some of us can knit (not me), some can make WONDERFUL fan videos, (not me), some can paint or draw, (not me) so the Not Me’s of the world…must do other things…here are some suggestions.

Take them in the spirit they are intended.

To Excite and Entice. No?

Find another addiction. It’s what addicts do. When the crack runs dry…the meth’ll do. So tune into The Walking Dead, catch up on a show you never watched like Breaking Bad, if there is still one or two of you out there that hasn’t seen it…or REALLY treat yourself and watch Republic of Doyle. I am not shitting you. That is some good TV right there!
See how good that TV is? He has what we ladies call STUPIDMAKERS…those muscles that trail on down to his happy place…No idea what they are called…but ummmmm….DUH *drool* DUHsummore

Or check something else out that captures your interest and makes you want to watch it again and again. Something that makes you want to research the characters, watch previous seasons, and get the books. Whatever you need to do to fill the gaps of time. You know, about 6 months worth.

Read ALL the Gabaldon books. In my case…Re-Re-Re-Re-Re-Re(oh FFS you get the picture x 12) the books, throw in the novellas, the Lord John series, listen to the audio books by Davina Porter. That ought to keep you busy and out of touch with reality a good long while. We know Diana’s books are kinda on the large side…which is great…because when someone interrupts you while reading, you can throw it at their whole face. Not half, not just their nose or chin…their WHOLE face. Click right here if you want to know the chronological order of all the tomes. *PHEW-Big words n meanings…need a drink!*

Scour the interwebs for ~~juicy gossip~~ interesting information about the show, cast & crew. This does not make you a stalker. It makes you curious. Curiosity is a good thing. Remember when they said that when you were little? Yeah, just pretend that.
There’s no problem here…carry on

Considering we are going to be waiting in Canada from the months Oct- probably around April/May. Shovel your snow, clean off your car, scrape the ice off your windows and watch some hockey games. AKA Be a Productive Human That ought to keep you plenty friggen busy eh? Me…I do not choose to do those things. You will continue to see me right here. Typing out blogs for your viewing pleasure or roll your eyedom.

Last but not least…Get a life. BAHAHAHA! Who’m I kiddin right? WHO exactly spent a couple hours today writing this VERY blog? Yeah…this girl…
That was mean. I shouldn’t have

I just wanted to see your face when I said it. Too bad I can’t…I do have have a great imagination though. Thanks to Mr. Dress-Up, Casey & Finnagin all those years ago. What I wouldn’t do for a Tickle Trunk today. Well I have the grown up version but a kids version would help pass the time too….never mind…the grown up version is just fine.

Yep…mine’s just a lil bigger.

Needless to say, the Droughtlander will be over before we know it because well…the best way to get through ANY tough situation is to Get Claire Drunk and stay Claire drunk. Let’s face it. Us Canadians have livers of steel. If there is something we do, and do well. It’s drink. Wine, beer, rum, whisky, vodka, liqueurs…we are equal opportunity. Besides, it helps keep us warm over those cold winter months. We are not a stupid people.

No I do not endorse alcoholism…but drunkeness is a whole other sandbox

Stay warm Canada…and to our Outlander friends…we don’t like to drink alone so let’s get this party started. *HIC*

SL – Heughliot @ Large

Our original Blog date on this was in October…How Time Flies when you are being tortured…

We are takin’ on Both Sides Now. MidSeason cut off…the television version of pulling out too soon

October 14, 2014 by Sherry W.

I’m pulling a Claire and grabbing the booze. I just need to cry…drink it out.

It simply didn’t last long enough. It was like Jamie’s first time…good enough for them – we are left wanting.

Even though Showcase did their part and dragged it out for us. You know, for all the bitching and moaning I did, we got 2 extra weeks (because we started 2 weeks later) and we got 4 hours more (granted it was all commercials but it was more). Canadians are collectively sitting around their furnaces and praying to the Natural Gas gawds that the return in April is at the same time Starz returns! April 4th. April 4th!

WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE. Can ya take a subtle hint per chance?

We rallied the troops for the midseason finale- which happened to be Thanksgiving Sunday. We live tweet with fellow Canadians using a hashtag I started the first week Outlander premiered in Canada – #OutlanderCAN. Our fellow CrackLander sisters from all over the world who are going through withdrawls, joined us.

Even Caitriona Balfe stopped by for a tweet and some favouriting. She is incredibly gracious. We really love her.

Her tweet helped us trend in Canada. It was pretty exciting considering we were up against the all and powerful The Walking Dead. (Which I also love…but its like comparing Scots n Zombies…you just…can’t)

We beat Thanksgiving…that was pretty cool! I got this pic from Outlander Pal Alicia Prevost

See that? Right there? AHEAD of The Walking Dead…premiere night for them. Yeah…that’s right…a BIG DAMN DEAL!

I always get distracted…so I guess I should talk about the last episode eh? It was pretty friggen phenominal. There was a lot of Frank tonight, which I know many book readers have issues with and I must say 3 little words to you. Get-over-it. Canadians aren’t always sweet natured. Reference the Canadian goose, they are real assholes.

Truth is, I completely see the value of this portion of the visually told story. This is all stuff that “could have” been happening in the book but since the whole book is from THE Claire viewpoint….TADA…we didn’t see it did we? Nooooooo…this is really very clever. I respect the transition and the extra OOOMPH they gave Frank.

Like we said in our 10 Outlandish Things we are Thankful For blog. They went and made us LIKE the guy! (Yes Karen et al, we know you always liked Frank…shhh now…you are distracting me again)

So the opening sequence of this episode didn’t irritate me. It made me feel for the guy. PoliceMan Dan had to get his drink on to deal with Frank…apparently he has been a super hemorrhoid to the whole operation. It must be terribly irritating for Frank…you know, being smarter than everyone around you and having to clue them into that fact. Tiring being so bloody intelligent. I should know.

I love how Policeman Dan just keeps sipping his whisky flavoured tea…getting ready to go into ragemode times two. Frank poked the bear and the bear poked back. Talk about a pissing contest. Policeman Dan won that round though because Frank left looking like his wife had disappeared through some stones – I dunno 200 yrs and fallen in love with a highlander or somethin.

And POOF…there we are…back in 1743…and it is pissin out. SO rainy. Like don’t listen too close or you will have to pee rainin out. We are on a hill while Jamie n Claire have some major and I mean MAJOR hand sex. Boy…those two played the eye sex into the ground in the earlier episodes, well now…they have that, put the hand sex on top of it, and you have a new kinda Subway sandwich. I don’t have to explain the special sauce to you.

They have a moment, where we see that Claire is falling for this young man. He wonders if what he is feeling for her is normal..you know…cuz she is super experienced with all the men – she tells him “No way hoser…this is different than all the other times in my life when the boys came to my yard. Afterall, there are no milkshakes here.”

THEN…*Whoosh* an arrow comes in their yard. Surely if it wanted to hit them, it would have but Jamie goes into panther mode and tackles Claire and stealthily crawls over to the arrow and recognizes it like an old friend. Those arrows must have dimples & red curls just like him. This character jumped straight off the pages into my heart…and he did EXACTLY the same thing in the show. What a treat! It was like a box of smarties in the guise of Hugh Monro!

I love the foreshadowing. I love they used Hugh FOR the foreshadowing of the second season when he gave Claire the Dragonfly in Amber. It was such a great moment and you could see Claire fall in love with Hugh right then too. It was so friggen SWEET. Let’s not forget though, he isn’t just there to be our window dressing, he has some important shit to tell…which is not the easiest thing when you have no tongue. Turkish bastards who cut it out…Long story short, Hugh has had a rough damn go of it but now…he has a license to beg…surely that makes it all better eh? ANYWAY… It takes Jamie a few tries but he deciphers the clues that Hugh has given him and gathers what he has to mumble. There is this guy with 2 big balls who can get the price off of Jamie’s head. It HAS to be that easy doesn’t it?

Hugh gets some loving from Claire, see…another boy in her yard…That girl.

Jamie then tells her he might get to go home and take her with him… to be Lady Lallybroch – and the sighs went down around Canada then.

We do a whole lot of Happy Claire…Sad Frank in this episode.

We are now in the Reverends study with the Reverend going over all these things that could have happened to Claire…one sounding stupider than the last…her falling through time is WAY more logical dude. Accept it.

Even Frank is getting a wee bit pissy with the Reverend and his ideas when suddenly things and Frank couldn’t get any sadder…the cutest little boy you ever laid your eyes on comes in the room with Mrs. Graham. Its wee Roger! Now Frank sees everything he has lost…his wife & his future. *BAWLING* and OMG I want to squeeze that little boys cheeks so hard they pop!

I admit it. I watched The Walking Dead last night too. But I don’t wanna eat wee Roger up THAT way. That’s gross.

I had to also accept the fact that they gave me this cute and adorable lil fraggle for Roger …but I know that given their penchant for casting hot, want to rip their kilts off sexy men…that wee Roger won’t be so wee in Season 2…and well…I will be wanting to do dirty things to him. I felt just a little uncomfortable – for a second. I have very little couth. You know, thought I would tell you in case you had no observation techniques.

Frank decided to go to Claire’s school of dealing with shit. He ends up at a bar. Brits and Canadians have that in common too 😉

Here comes some chick named Sally – really- she says she knows where “he” is. I smell a trap…must be the same one they set in that smoking ashtray.

So the trap has been laid for the would be “professor” that actually is a military intelligence officer..so yeah…you think he might be expecting to get jacked?

We have to wait to see because we jump back to the 18th century where is it Rupert Rooms story time. Everyone sitting by the fire listening to Rupert talk about the Waterhorse of the loch.

If you listen closely you will hear him talk about waterweed and the like. Many tips of the hat to the books in this little portion, so as much bitching as there was for the bits left out, there were many popped in for our enjoyment.

Jamie & Claire’s handsex moments carried on, right there in front of everyone. Can you imagine. Then…dun dun dun…things started happening! Horses got all freaked, men started pulling out their weapons but “not” pulling out their weapons. Rupert kept telling his story while getting ready to leap. It was Scottish Ninja time –

-they knew they were about to be attacked but were going to get the jump on the punks. Plus Bear McCreary put in the bagpipes so you KNOW someone is gonna get an ass kickin…Highland style. I don’t know about anyone else but…damn…those screaming, yelling, sword n dirk weilding kilted men get me all hot n bothered when they are beating up people. THAT’S how the UFC should be, in the dark, in the mud, in kilts…mmmmm…yeah. Now THAT’S hot!

*Fans Self*

They ran off those Grants good! Ned saved the day…night…by shooting one of them in the shoulder. Ned…wow boyo! All the while protecting the books and didn’t even drop a page. That man has talent. Someone get him a hoooooor for the night! He deserves it.

They all feel pretty friggen good after their victory! Who wouldn’t, they had the WTH just happened looks on their faces…then HILL-HAIRY-TEES ensued!

If you didn’t catch it, Jamie called Claire my love when he took her in his arms afterwards. BIG FAT JUICY SIGHS all around.

THEN cut to Frank again…they really are doing a trip on me here. It is like AHHHHH Everything is awesome Everything is Awesome…BOOM…SADFACEEMOJICON! Like I don’t feel I am crazy enough – they do this to my feels.

Naturally, Frank comes prepared for the trap that was laid down for him. He had a glimmer of hope of course or he wouldn’t have shown up but he did…and little Sally ducked off to the corner while 2 guys jump him. Frank pulls out a – guess? Guess what it is? Its a weapon…it has a name…its a, yup, its a black jack club. Nice! Subtle and pretty clever once again. Frank goes into black jack mode actually, taking it a bit over board in the beating department. We get a bit of a glimpse of his ancestor there don’t we? He rounds on lil ms. Sally when she stops him- almost strangled the livin stupid out of the woman. When he came to his senses. Knowing damn well the highlander didn’t exist.

Reverend Wakefield tries to let Frank know that sips from the mug of evil are ok…just don’t take any big gulps or your done for. He figures if he stays…he’s hooped. Time to move on now. All of their sleuthing has come up with nothing so obviously Claire skipped town with the highlander guy. Off you go now!

We go back again to the charming fun Highlanders. Rupert gives us the 18th century version of “That’s what she said” and yes…I snorted. They are bonding and showing Claire the love, wanting her to be protected if it comes down to it – so you know that’s foreshadowing- dammit! But lets enjoy this scene while we can because it is quite a lot of fun. Angus, the wiley wee bugger is a great teacher so he is the one in charge of showing Claire how to use her wee sticker.

Laughs and joyfulness during the teaching then BOOM..back to sad Frank. ERMERGERD Ron D Moore. You really are putting us through the ringer this time.

Its like a bloody great hockey game. Back n forth. Back n Forth! I can’t get enough of it. Boom we are back in the wet heather with Jamie and Claire getting super hot n heavy. Being ADORKABLE as always. Talking about how he feels like god himself…lol…loved that line from the book and glad they used it. Cait played this part so well. Giggling, yet still remaining intimate and attached. I felt like a voyeur, watching them like that. I didn’t want to turn away but I could definitely imagine myself backing up and focusing in with the binoculars if I had to. Can’t. Get. Enough.

aaaaaaaand…of course, just when things are getting most awesome – CLICK- You hear a hammer being drawn back. Then you see a barrel come into focus and the faces of our two lovers go from ecstasy to terror because some bloody deserter from the redcoats and his mate decide this of all moments is the perfect one to ruin someones day!

They tear Jamie off Claire and start in on them both. Claire is more than terrified, Jamie is both terrified and pissed right off. Not a great combination. The problem is, these arrogant redcoats think this is going to be easy pickings. Little do they know that Claire has gotten lessons how to stick a prick recently. One of the nasty lil twerps jumps on her to rape her and she goes into quiet, think this through and gut the little arsewipe mode. Because this is the LAST thing the other idiot expects, he is caught off guard and Jamie takes like ZERO seconds to react and turns him into a human PEZ dispenser. This guy now has a flip top head.

These are the moments when having commercials makes me go just a TAD postal. Yes. I understand the necessity. Yes. I know this is not Starz and Showcase shows commercials so we get them…but we get a hell of a LOT of them. A half an hours worth of them and pretty much the same ones. When they come at times like this well I don’t really care the TV can’t hear or see me, I’m flippin it the bird.

Commercial breaks smamercial breaks.Pft!

It is in this moment, Jamie throws the deadcoat off Claire, gathers her into his arms and runs up the hill to fetch a pail…ummm…to comfort her.

Mrs. Graham has had enough of listening to this hogwash bullshit that the reverend has been spouting about Claire living in a cave eating frogs and thinks Frank ought to hear HER hogwash bullshit that frankly is the truth! He overhears them and is all like “You guys talking about me?” Mrs. Graham gets all cocky and says…”Yeah cuz there are tonnes of other guys whose wives went up into the stones, lets have a spot of tea while I tell you a tale of the wee folk. It might sound kookey but you know deep down it’s easier to bite down on than her up and leaving for some random dude in a kilt aye? aye?”

She goes on and on and Frank just stares at her, Through her. He is thinking “Lady, you are touched in that head of yours” and part of him kinda looks like he wants to pull out that black jack of his again. He is a gentleman though and just gets up and says …Ok enough cray cray in this town. I’m out…Oh and because you can’t feel sad enough, we are going to grab you with some great big sad wee Roger baby eyes.

You can’t look at me without seeing your future slipping away can you sir?

We cut back to Claire & Jamie on the hill, him begging for forgiveness. Calling her my love, in Gaelic, he is angry at himself for allowing her to be mishandled, she is going into shock and repeating over and over its ok, she is going into shock. Ummmm, I don’t know lots about shock but if you are going into it, I’m thinking…you aren’t really alright. The other men show up because they heard the shot and they tell Jamie, after this, there is no way that he is going to meet that english deserter on his own. No way!

This is the moment in time that I say…DAMN that girl can ACT! Yes, Tobias is awesome, Sam is amazing, Graham kicks ass, Grant & Steven rock…but Caitriona – she is… Straight up. She goes from being attacked, killing a dude, being swept up, going into shock and then…being down right pissed off with the world…and it all comes off as seemlessly as a hoooooor’s skirts. Jamie lets her know she has to stay behind with babysitter Willie while he goes to his meeting with the others. She burns him good saying she has made it quite apparent she can take care of herself. Girls do that, right below the belt…and let’s face it, when your wearing a kilt, pretty easy to grab onto the fellas and give a twist.

The next few scenes are absolutely riveting TV! Frank is driving back to Oxford but he takes a wee detour up to Craigh Na Dun. Willie has to go for a poop so Claire, is left alone, she starts wandering when…BOOM…Craigh Na Dun. We get visuals of Frank on one side of the rocks….Claire rushing up the other side of the rocks. Frank then calls out Claire’s name in desperation…and GUESS WHO HEARS HIM? Not just us…nope nope nope…Claire, who is 200 years in the past…HEARS him and starts screaming back…he hears her too. The next few moments are some of the coolest we have seen, heard & felt.

Then Claire reaches up for the stones, you think…maybe…(But no you really don’t because most of you read) and those bloody redcoats grab onto her! Seriously…the bitching and moaning I heard about them not doing the near drowning scene with Claire. Let me remind you 1) adaptation 2) Cait is a real live person that would have to act that out, and if you haven’t noticed, they do things really authentically and I’m am thinking, any body of water would have frigid ass water in it. 3) adaptation. The way they did it was brilliant. I laughed at one comment “The redcoats just came out of the blue.” Sort of the same way they did in the book. Sort of the same way they did a few minutes earlier. This is also from Claire’s point of view, she was pretty focused on those rocks wasn’t she? Probably wouldn’t see the redcoats either…even when or IF they were there. Let your brains breath people – they will feel better and enjoy the show MUCH more when you do.

The scene of Frank going down one portion of the hill and Claire getting dragged down the other. Yep. That.

Claire knows who is at the end of her journey, she knows where she is going…they are following the map to CreepyTown. *sigh*

Claire & BJR always play their game of cat & mouse. This time Claire decides to use her bit of info on him, that the Duke of Sandringham is his lil buddy. This shocks him enough he spits out his drink

Then Claire…does what Claire does best. She get cocky. Starts telling him “You better just keep your big mouth shut, the duke wouldn’t like it very much if you exposed me…blah blah blah.

And the mouse…gets caught…again. Claire falls into the trap of BJR. He mentions how if she is a secret agent of the duke, she has GOT to be a secret agent of the duchess…Claire is like DUH…of course butthead. So now…lets go through our desk drawer where MOST folk have staplers and pens…this crazy effer has oh…ROPE! Magic Jack. Wonder where he will pull a bunny out of next time!?

This is where shit gets ugly. She tries to take off but the little corporal is no Mountie and he offers her zero protection…ooooh he may be part Canadian, he did say he was sorry before handing her back over to the sick bastard. This is where BJR makes one monumental mistake “No matter what you hear…don’t you come back.” But we won’t know how bad that is till later…oh in about 6 MONTHS!

She screams, good and loud because now, she knows what this guy is capable of. He rips off her clothes, grabs her by the hair and slams her onto his desk getting ready to force her into all sorts of evilness.

Suddenly – BANG! Someone threw open the sash…the bat signal got sent! There is JAMIE! Hunkered down in the windowsill with a musket aimed at BJR. Jamie…always the gentleman says “I’ll thank you to take your hands OFF my WIFE.”

Goes to Crazy Jack face…love seeing that stunned SHOCK on his face…Claire’s face thinking…Ummm yep…left it a little late but THANK PETE but boy this is going to get cold n tiresome laying splayed across this desk for the next 6 months. Jamie too…stuck in the windowsill, looks like its cold n rainy out there, he might get a leg cramp.

But for reals, Jem spent what? 5 yrs in a tunnel? Surely these guys can handle 6 months in these precarious positions…the tough part is for US FANS!. Not U.S. fans US..us…one word. All of us.

I really hope that Showcase can manage to show the rest of the episodes in succession along with our American counterpart. That would be lovely of them to do.

I do believe we have shown them we can bring up the excitement level for them. #OutlanderCAN was started by us Heughliots at the start of episode one…it’s kinda caught on, and may I mention again…it trended!?

#3 – That’s right…you see it.

Don’t worry, we aren’t going to disappear over the hiatus. Our crazy doesn’t burn out that easy!

SL Heughliot @ Large

AB-Ootlander. Canadians melt into puddles over Episode 7. The Wedding.

October 6, 2014 by Sherry W.

Just. Like. That.

Little and huge puddles splashing all over the place. Why? Because Showcase finally aired THE Wedding (because if I hadn’t said it yet. Canada is 2 wks behind our American friends) So yeah, the wedding. You know. THE one between James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser & Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp (pronounced Beecham). Damn…I keep on puddlin! I need to take a break. No…no break, I like the torture.

This was MY favourite episode. For a few reasons. None having to do with the sweet sweet Scottish ass we got to witness. Not. At. All.

So we start this episode with a FLASHFRANK. There they are cute as a button couple walking down Degrassi street. **SideNote** Now…anyone who has a problem with Claire’s body…her backside is perfectly round and full in this shot (and other ones) As a confident heterosexual woman…I have no qualms saying Claire (Cait) has the CUTEST apple bottom.

We get a 2fer. Starting with wedding #1. I liked the change of venue for them…in the book, there is enough room for the coincidences – on TV- its pretty squished so I liked the spontaneity. I think some didn’t like it because it made them like Frank more. God forbid a TV show delve into character development SHAME on them!

We go from one kiss to the one we have been waiting for! WHAT? What about the wedding…I can’t see the dress…COME ON…

Whats GOING on here!?

That WAS my first reaction. My next was…”Ah I see what they are doing here…” and I LIKE it! I like it A LOT.

So the wedding happened but we didn’t see it – we will because – I saw pictures on Twitter and FB and instagram…

They are married and in the room at the inn together. I must say this…I LOVE LOVE LOVE the lil extras Sam gives us in his role as Jamie. When he walked into the room with Claire – his fingers were tapping. These subtle little signs are what MAKE HIM JAMIE.

Can’t. Take. It!

They have some pretty awkward moments at first. Who wouldn’t right? Me…Me. I probably wouldn’t. Unless you call jumping on his face as soon as he walks through the door – awkward.

Bob Hope she calls him…Claire references to her previous life. I can’t wait till she calls him John Wayne! Classic moment on it’s way…maybe. We can never tell what they put in recycling, throw to the curb or reinvent. It’s kinda fun to guess though!

They need to break this tension, how? Claire has an idea, it involves whisky! I SOOOOO didn’t see that one coming. *that is sarcasm if you didn’t catch it* The best way to handle any situation is to drink. Don’t worry, she isn’t an alcoholic…she is soberphobic. Wouldn’t YOU be? Seriously!

They go to their first “story time”…I loved this concept. Since everything has been from Claire’s viewpoint thus far it is pretty cool to see things that happened away from her. First being Dougal telling Jamie he will be the one to marry her…then he goes and gets piggy again. Seriously SideEye…can we have an episode where you stick to ONE personality? Geez! He is being a total hoser.

I can’t help staring at Claire’s boobs. They are pushed WAY up…look like a couple bags of milk bustin out. Yes…bags of milk. I’m not kidding.

They ARE a thing.

Then Jamie says the most amazing things to Claire…you know…like stuff right out of the book! “You have my name, my clan, my family. And if necessary the protection of my body as well” Ummmmmm YES PLEASE! I feel an immediate danger! Protect me with your BODY! I am not sure if the rest of Canada heard it but I DID…FLUTTERS all around. I don’t mean hearts – I mean panties.

aaaaaaand there they go!

That does it…she finally sits with him on the bed but pulls a serious cock tease move! Claire…so ashamed. Leans in for a kiss and BOOM! Hey tell me about your family buddy…BLOCKED.

So they talk…and talk….and talk…..and talk some more…they get relaxed again – and Dumb n Dumber come barging in the room. In fact, I love these two. They are checking in on them to make sure they are bangin. But they aren’t and Jamie was sooooo close he gets pretty steamed!

You know we get commercials here in Canada eh? Well there is NO good place to put a commercial in a show like this one. They also take time to give us our “warnings” 6 times per show. I hope they realize these warning are more like invitations. It’s all about perspective.

In fact. We look FORWARD to all the things in their warnings.

They move into “bed time”. Jamie is so accommodating. You know offering to unwrap her n everything. It gets hot…so hot that I really think that I forgot to breathe in points – either that or I was holding my breath so I could pass out and go to dreamland. You know, Jamie lives there.

Alas – I gasp. Still alive but barely! They start the first go round. He still has his boots on – she is still wearing her stockings – it’s his first time ever and well…she starts off strong – so does he- but things happen sooooo fast. Too fast for Claire eh?

They have the exchange I loved in the book. I think EVERYONE was waiting for it and Sam & Cait played it sooooo perfectly. “Thought you must do it, the back way, like horses.” Nah…she won’t laugh…none of us will laugh!

O.K., the horse laughed but the horse is an arsehole.

We go through lots of emotions here. Jamie asks if she liked it and she gives him a look like….ummmmmm…She liked it fine I think, she just didn’t finish liking it is all. She gets flustered because she feels like she is some sort of turned on biagmist/adultress. Sorry Claire, even as the debate is waged online. I would stand up in the House of Commons and say “Claire is absolved! Her FLASHFRANK isn’t even alive yet.” Technicality sister!

Then she tries to escape into the tavern full of men because she was feeling uncomfortable. So SURE, head on into a room full of half drunk scots while you are dressed in nothin but your shift. For REAL this time. Erect-i-Nipp-i for all! Jamie knows what she is getting into so HE jumps in front and takes the heat for her. She scurried back into the room alone- probably went back in the room and rubbed one out- a girl has to finish! Probably why she got tense.

Jamie takes the heat, gets some food then has to deal with SideEye…seriously…Dougal, your jealous is hanging out! So glad for Rupert n Angus & their comic relief.

The next while of The Wedding episode has to be some of the most FRUSTRATING moments in TV …EVER. They get close…and then..Claire changes the subject…they get close….Claire changes the subject!

Sweet jeezus, I love the way they are doing this story but it’s making me just a lil crazy cray!

Each time we cut to the wedding planning, my heart skips a beat…I can’t get enough of the wedding night but want to see all the stuff leading up to it. I am like a teenage girl! I WANT IT ALL! NOW! There is no in between…its HYSTERIA. Plain and simple!

The emotion in the episode, the sticking to the book & the new pieces. I just am enveloped in all sorts of emotion.

Jamie gives Dougal 3 conditions to his marrying Claire. Can I tell you what this did to me? I felt like a fat kid stuffing their face with cake…could not get enough. I call moments like this…Triple THUD moments. You don’t stop with one…it’s the gift that keeps on giving.

First, must be married in a church…with a priest. That scene was fricken funny. SMOUT- close enough to trout, is quickly becoming one of my go to words. Thanks SideEye!

Second, sending the dynamic duo to get a key made into a ring. Some were VERRA upset by the new ring. It was NOT in the book…I am really not sure when people are going to get this through their purdy lil heads but THIS is NOT the BOOK. This is an adaptation…ad-apt-tation. Definition – the act of making suitable to requirements or conditions; adjust or modify fittingly. This means change. Change is not a bad thing, in fact, I think it has been a good thing. It keeps the story fresh for those of us who have been reading it for over 20 years. Everything good isn’t exactly how each individual person imagines it because well…yeah think about that. Ron Moore is the show runner, this means he has final say over each storyline, the direction things take…frankly…I think he has done a great job of it.

SIDETRACKED! Annnnnywhooooo, Rupert & Angus are a couple of the funniest wedding planners ever. They act like an old married couple, which I adore.They head to the local Canadian Tire to get their key cut. I just want to say they got WAY faster service than I did the last time.

Last condition was up to Ned. He had to get a dress…Hmmmm…where oh where does one get a fancy dress for a beautiful bride? RIGHT! First place I thought too. HoooooooorHouse! The tale that went along with it was a delightful one. You can imagine the Lord in question. “Super super randy here ladies but I lost all my money at dice but I know how a hoooooor loves to play dress up and I have this one of a kind gown thats for my…ummmm…wife but since SHE isn’t here…I have to put it somewhere!” Take your pick as to what I am referring to. Of course, Ned couldn’t leave without putting his own somewhere. That would just be a waste for him…one for you (Jamie/gown), one for me (hooooooor young enough to be your grandbaby…old pervy Ned)

NOW…its the recap of the recap of The Wedding. THAT man is BEAUTIFUL. He cleans up sooooo good.

So much aweSAM in this screencap

Of course, Claire – stunning. The dress…WOW, that dress. Apparently they had to rig up a golf cart to get the poor woman around and as beautiful as the dress was, Cait isn’t too keen on ever seeing it again. I must say though, girlfriend…you and the girls…LOOKED GREAT! People complained about how squished they were, how painful it must have been etc…as a holder of small boobies (my own…not my neighbours), you can squish these suckers into next week and if I look stacked- I’d deal.

The did the blood vow. Listening to them recite those lines…Blood of my blood…there is just so much a girl can take you know.

About THAT much

Oh, maybe I blew up too soon…Premature Explosion. They are back in the room & Jamies buttery tongue has gotten Claire all twisted up. She tells him to get NEKKID!

WOW. WOW. & WOW.

Watching the way their relationship unfolded here was INCREDIBLE. Exploring and learning one another…Claire teaching Jamie the joys of oral sex. You know…you imagine that face for 20 yrs & all of a sudden…there it is. In all is O-having glory. I think that I probably caused myself permanent eye damage for not blinking the whole damn scene. Anyone wanna share their Visine w me? I look like I’ve been smokin a dube. Red irritated eyes.

Then…what does the man do? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Typical. What WAS nice to see was the lil smile that crossed Jamie’s face as he did it. NOT so typical and why I know Sam was born to play this roll.

Claire heads down for a jug of water…she needs hydrating and well…probably has some lingering aftertaste she wants to rinse from her mouth. (I didn’t see a spit bucket). She bumps into Dougal, who tried to invite her to go to Doucheville but he was DENIED! Rupert ends up getting a mouth full of Dougal (…HIS FIST…geez….come OUTTA the gutter.) because he made some bawdy comments about Claire & Jamie. It’s not like THAT’S his thing or anything. Sheesh SideEye…you are sooooome testy! Maybe you should go visit the hoooooorhouse or the stables.

Oh never mind…the gutter is fine…it’s quite comfortable in here.

They are back in the quiet of the room. Jamie wakes to see Claire sitting in the candle light, he is nekkid and gets out of bed…but WHOEVER does the lighting for this show obviously doesn’t realize we are in the DARK and can’t see his…feet. He reached into his sporran and pull out….

a pearl necklace. You are doing it wrong JAMMF. Oh come on…who DIDN’T think that? Oh…you…well maybe this isn’t the right blog for you then.

He starts talking about his Mom…how precious…he just needs to keep talking because that is what gets this girl going.

They make love. True. Sweet. Tender. Love.

SO crushed with the feels…so crushed.

Seriously some of the best scenes EVER.

Now…last scene puts us with Claire, alone in the room, happily getting ready for the day. Starts her workout by shaking out the dress and clink clink roll! Yup, the gold wedding ring from FLASHFRANK goes across the floor, reminding her and us of her other life.

Claire ends the show, starting at her hands where the two rings circle her ring fingers. One gold, one key…two eras, two lives…

What the girl needs now…is a DRINK!

See you next week for the mid season finale! Noooooooooooooooo

Heughliot @ large

AB-Ootlander Special. Outlander causes AbootyCalls.

October 4, 2014 by Sherry W.

Naturally, I can only speak for myself and the dozens – maybe hundreds of women I talk to about this on Twitter/FB and yes…in real life.

Yes. Outlander IS getting into the bedrooms across Canada. Some husbands know perfectly well why their wife is extra horny on a Sunday night. Some are just reaping the benefits. Neither complain.

Don’t SAY anything – it might not last!

I didn’t realize this was happening in my house until after The Garrison Commander episode aired. That episode left me DRAINED…so emotionally exhausted…I mean really…Jamie was torn to shreds. Quite literally, I felt like my guts got ripped out.

After the credits rolled, I felt a hand on my neck and my hubby leans in for a passionate moment. UMMMMM WTF dude! I just finished bawling my eyes out…WHAT are you doing? I urged back and gave him THE LOOK.

What the Hell dude!?

And what does he say to me? “HEY! It’s Sunday…you watched Outlander! I even watch WITH you…ummmm…YOU KNOW!?”

I didn’t KNOW…I had an idea of course…considering his hands were NOT on his inner thigh.

So…even though we have been together 26 yrs. and I know better than to ask questions that I have a “feeling” might turn out to make me look predictable…I asked. “Just WHAT am I supposed to know?”

“I get lucky Sunday! Ummm…I mean we usually do it…or you know, make love n stuff.” N’stuff. N’stuff. Yeah ok. He acts like it is once a week but I guess Sunday, its a “given”.

My argument – “Did you just SEE what happened tonight? I mean really…that was brutal! How can you think I would be in the mood?”

His argument – “You set a precedent”

Me- ” Precedent? What are you talking about”

Him – “You see Jamie, I get laid…that’s what! Why don’t you think I care if you watch it 4 times a week?”

Now he decides to give me a big huge smile. Trying to make me smile…yet…I’m still disturbed and a little put off.

Me- “Sure…I saw Jamie. I saw Jamie get his ass handed to him and beat within an inch of his life, bleeding all over the place!”

Him -“Hurmph! That shouldn’t matter. My sexlife should NOT be determined if James Fraser has a bad night.”

Me- “Are you KIDDING me right now?”

Him- “No…No…I’m not kidding. Watch the last part that you got all squeely with again will you?” Then he walks to the bathroom “I’m freshening up!”

I sat there dumbstruck…had I really done this? Set a precedent? Episode 1…yep…Episode 2…uh huh….Episode 3…oh…yeah…Episode 4…you BETCHA!…Episode 5…twice.

WELL SHIT! I HAD set a precedent. I had created a pavlov’s dog situation. We watch Outlander together…he knows what to expect. He doesn’t realize, for the last 20 yrs…those nights I put “the books” down and woke him up. Yeah…same thing but he wasn’t aware then. Just thankful.

I could NOT back out now…you know…The WEDDING is coming up! I am going to…you know….need him.

So…a girls gotta do…what a girls gotta do.

I know for a fact, I am NOT the only fangirl that has taken her addiction out on her partner. I’ve heard the stories. SO MANY STORIES!

I have a feeling we will have a booming year of Summer babies…not here tho! Got that housing unit demolished!

Heughliot at Large

ABOotlanders w/Sherry

Proudly Canadian Outlander FanGroup based in Alberta

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