10 times! You pricked my what with your what?

April 15, 2015 by Sherry W.

We have made it into the DOUBLE DIGITS my people! 10 Episodes in & wowsers numero ten-o was a TEN alright. This is a whole lotta awesome jam packed into one episode…I like it like that.

Everyone involved in the production of OUTLANDER! THAT’S WHO!

First they start the episode with a cockin of a pistol…uh-huh. I know most people missed that lil reference. Me however – I never miss a cocking. Then *phew* was it hot in there or was it just me?

Girl…So hawt. Tres hawt.

Claire. Claire. Claire. It seems…Wheaties ain’t got nothing on you. You. Are The Breakfast Of Champions! (Well at least one champion we all know & love) Talk about starting your morning off with a bang. Oh wait…they didn’t quite make it that far did they? THANKS Murtagh! Seems Murtagh “SceneStealingEyeBrowRaisin’SexyTimeInterrupting” Fraser just does not know when to stop knockin so others can continue knockin.(boots that is). At least Jamie had the decency to finish the job he started before answering the door. Finished it diligently & thoroughly. According to the sounds Claire was making, quite loudly. Those doors…must be pretty damn thick, or Murtagh hasn’t cleaned the shit outta his ears in quite some time if he didn’t pick up on her satisfactory tones. There must have been at least once in Murtagh’s life he encountered a very sexually satisfied woman, because he recognized pretty quick when he saw it laying in bed. He had the where with all to at least look a bit abashed at the interruption. That last all of about a microsecond. Murtagh wastes no time! Being Jamie’s own personal town crier he let him know what was up. The Dink of Sandwiches…hmmm…nope…Dude of Boysaks…nope… Oh right. Duke of Sandringham,

This might help ring your Dukely Bell

(The last guess was pretty close -Just saying *ahem*) is in the area so now is the time to try and get Jamie off the hook for the murder of the English dragoon. That everyone knows Creepy Captain Jackoff Randall killed- not Jamie. Claire’s tingle factor has gone down substantially now that Murtagh & his eyebrows have entered the room. She has started hearing the chatter & remembering her previous life. She is not inclined to let Jamie trust Duke BootyHammer, no way no how! She lets the fellas know its because Creepy n Booty are in bed together…well…now there’s a thought isn’t it? *shudder* Jamie takes off w Murtagh to talk to Ned “iknoweverything” Gowan. At first he’s like “This is hopeless give it up”…but NO I am the great and powerful Neddie Can DO, I can fix anything you can screw up. Murtagh of course just want to hand out a hanging. Why not? If one person would look good with a rope neck tie…it’s Creep Master General! Chances are he would be using it for something kinky though. Don’t digress like I just did, the visuals ARE disturbing. Claire, left to her own devices for a while means BIZNEZ! She is not letting Laoghaire leave nasty shit under HER bed. Nu-uh! At first Laoghaire “WHO ME?” MacKenzie plays blonde and pretends she has no idea what Claire is getting at with the ill wish but she can’t hold onto the mental stability table for long. One of the table legs give out from under her as soon as Claire says “He’s just not into you.”

SNAP! Spoiled girl goes CRAYCRAY

That sends Loose Laoghaire straight over the castle walls and into the dismal mean girl zone. Declaring that Jamie is hers, always was hers & ONE DAY WILL BE AGAIN. Book fans all over the globe groan. Yeah…because we know she isn’t all that insane after all, is she now? Then she hits Claire below the belt. Saying Jamie must have to get himself drunk in order to hit the sheets with her cold english ass. Claire does not take this lightly and bitch slaps her. Pretty sure I heard cheers all the way from my newfie friends. Not sure why but Claire apologized – I thought a throat punch may have been more effective. Ummm…that was my outside voice wasn’t it? That’s gonna get me in trouble one day. Again. Then just when Claire felt bad for smacking the spoilt wee nit, LooseLips Laoghaire keep flappin her gums & tells her the only “friend” in the world she has is the one that sold her the illwish in the first place. Way to go Geillis. How’s that knife feel Claire, buddy ole pal? Deep enough for ya?

Awww somebody just got hurt real bad. Not cool.

Claire, never one to leave well enough alone, goes in search of Geillis. She finds F’arthur instead. In serious agony with rumblies in his tumblies. She passes along some medicine to his maid before he orders her to be gone. The maid however passes a little message to Claire that Geillis will be in the woods just before dawn if she really wants to meet her. Won’t be anything weird about that will there?

It wasn’t weird- per say. Mystical. Voyeuristic. Mesmerizing. I couldn’t pull my eyes away. The wee squeaks, moans & panting sounds the witch was making…because no one in their right mind can deny it now. Girlfriend. She IS a witch. (If if dances like a witch, chants like a witch & blows smoke like a witch…it’s a damn witch). Honestly, I felt more dirty watching her with her arcorns than I did while Jamie was having his breakfast.

So uncomfortable. Must watch!

That, my friends, is a stunning testament to Lotte VerBeeks acting ability. She KILLED that scene. Along with a few people…(that to come). I really enjoyed the editing as well, Claire seeing the druid dancers flashing back with Geillis. Cool trick bro.

The dialogue between Claire and Geillis after her ummm…summonsing was – entertaining. Acting like this was the most normal thing she could have been up to and Claire looking at her like. You KNOW you are cracked right? But…you’re my only friend…kinda…MAN I am SO desperate for friends I will even take the likes of YOU!

Geillis, thank goodness packed some clothes, I was worried she was going to contract a case of nipplitis that not even Claire could cure. In case you are wondering. Nipplitis. TOTALLY a thing. Serious condition here in Canada. Many women suffer from this, such a tragedy.

That coat she was wearing. Pure genius on the part of Terry & friends in the costume department. Read about it here. Super cool. She looks like someone who had just rolled off the crazy faery hillside. They mended all their fences, Geillis fed Claire some bullshit story that she didn’t know the ill wish was for her *cough* yeah right *cough*. Since she knew the illwish was a bunch of pussywillows & sticks all wrapped up with string, it didn’t matter at all to her anyway. It was just like when Claire gave the stupid little girl a vile of horse poop. You see, they are connected those two. They walk through the woods, they chat, or Geillis gossips, about Dougal, his ugly wife. Her words not mine. Gifts she has been given, their love, their baby.

Then we hear…a baby. They both hear it but only one of them cares. 3 guesses…first 2 don’t count! Claire wants to go to the crying baby & Geillis explains to her that its a Faery hill & even though SHE is the one dressed for the event, neither of them should go ANYWHERE near that damned hill! Those parents left that baby there on purpose so the faeries could give their healthy baby back that they stole from them & take that sick faery back. You know, weird shit like that. Silly superstitious nonsense & Claire knew it. Claire also knew the baby was just not thriving and probably could get better…maybe could. Geillis was like..”Screw You… after I just blew all that smoke up your ass about being my friend and how you could get me burnt at the stake…nope you are on your own – I am out! Later!”

Geillis’s cat stunt double

Claire, once again on her own & traipsing through the woods, lost & alone. She REALLY should stop doing this. It never ends well. Like. EVER. She hears some ragged coughs a few gasps of breath…the crying stops. Never a good sign. A few moments later closer to the top of the hill there is a huge tree w a small bundle. This just ain’t right. Nothing about this is right. She takes the bundle from the tree. We all know what she finds isn’t good. The baby is dead and there isn’t anything she can do for it. She does what we many would do. Sits down & grieves for it.

More feels. They take over. Then the man on the horse shows up. Jamie. Damn, he rides in and so much becomes better. He speaks so gently to her. Even though she holds such venom for the superstitions that have taken this babies life. Jamie was raised with them…he is able to explain it to her without sounding ignorant. Giving her comfort too. *BIG SIGH* His voice & demeanor is like a massive HUG to the soul. JAMIE IS A SOUL HUG! I like it…I like it a lot. #SoulHugMoment. My favourite part of this moment was when Claire looked in Jamie’s eyes and asked him to take her HOME.

We then we come to the reading & signing of THE DOCUMENT! The petition of complaint. You know the one. The one that will go down in history. Claire knows it, I see the hesitancy on her face because she knows how Frank pours over documents like this. As soon as her signature is there then…BOOM. So is she.

We get to meet the Duke next & surprise! Claire is doing stuff she shouldn’t be doing but OH she should. Sticking her nose in where it shouldn’t be…but OH it should. Testing the waters so to speak. This is because Claire is from another time. No wallflower is she. She is putting hers firmly on the table with the Duke. Don’t screw with me dude! Your balls…are mine.

Considering he is used to dealing with men or boys…*ahem*…he isn’t quite sure how to deal with this one. So he hands over his set to her…for now. Let’s just say.

Back to the castle we go to watch one hell of a performance by Graham McTavish. Seriously Dougal. Go home…you’re drunk. Oh wait, you were home…kinda. Turns out, Geillis’s summonsing turned out to be pretty darned effective and Dougal’s wife caught a fever and boom, within days. Died. Dougal taken over by…not sure its grief or guilt got blithering drunk & went postal in the Great Hall. Colum – is not a happy camper. He sent out the fella’s to find Claire to mix up one of her sedatifs *wink* to settle him the hell down.

Dougal put on quite a show. Hollering & fighting anyone that got in his way. Crying about his poor dead wife, Maura, ummm…talking about how no one would have found her attractive – even a blind dude – but that she still didn’t deserve him. Yeah, point taken buddy. Angus, spry & smart, gathered up Claires sleeping potion. Enough to fell a horse apparently – cuz it did, into a bottle of port & gave cheers to Dougal’s dead wife encouraging Dougal to drink more, he did…then…TIMBER – down went the big man- not in the good way. Only took 6 of ’em to carry him out of the hall.

Geillis & Claire meet in the courtyard. Geillis is giddy her handy work was effective. Claire is thinking shes crazy- it was just a coincidence & besides you still have a husband remember? We get the GeillisGiggle. Only…it isn’t very funny is it?

Back to the Duke’s. Look who is in trews? Yup, Jamie. Our hero knows when he has to guard his back door doesn’t he? I mean…sure Murtagh is there but you can never be too careful can you?

The tete & tete & tete between them was…interesting and down right comical at times. The Duke touching Murtagh, it was like you could see it on his face he wanted to go & wash in the nearest trough or punch him in the nearest throat. *snort*. Having Jamie take part in the dual with him as his second for his scrubbing of his back. GREAT way to implement the story & HAHAHA! LOVED it.

There has been sooooo much speculation in the fandom since that dual clip came out & EVERYONE knew exactly what it was of course. Naturally NO ONE knew…this was BRILLIANT. Again. LOVE what they did. Not because I HAVE to but because it was SMART! The way the Duke petted Jamie’s face…his reaction. This was just awesome.

The Duke was apparently getting his fingers on everyone in the room 😛

SO much happened in the episode it was kinda epic really. The Great Hall was next & this is where…it didn’t take a summonsing. Geillis was done with F’Arthur. It was time his show came to a close…it was time for his grande finale! It was a huge dinner in honour of the Duke and cyanide was F’Arthurs main course. When he went down – Geillis pushed her chair back and let him – watched in silence – let Claire take care of business, pulled out a newspaper & cigarette…ok…maybe she didn’t do that but she sure looked disinterested those first few moments.

Everyone stood…agast…then she stood. She & Dougal made doe eyes across the crowded room. Over the foaming & dead mouth of her bloated body of a husband, a calculating Twistycone figuring out everything staring at them both…it was SO romantic!

SO MUCH SARCASM

Then…to the dual with the MacDonalds that Jamie has promised to be Dukie boys second for. It had to the be the most pathetic excuse for a dual like. Ever. Two what looked like old guys shooting blanks at each other. Then deciding to drink to it. It was the – what comes after that make it interesting. 3 nasty little MacDonald boys with little man syndrome have to start measuring each others wieners verbally. Jamie goes and makes a bit of a mistake – throws a “Yo Mama” joke at them but TURNS his back on them. At least the wee twit who goes after him had the presence of mind to yell “Buggering Sodomite” at him before he struck. Bit redundant isn’t he?

buggers sodomize…sodomites bugger…yes…yes

Here we get to see Jamie’s AWESOMENESS with a sword…n…stuff. He took a beating but kept on tickin! Damn that was fun to watch! I don’t suppose Jamie will want McDonalds for a while. I felt the same after the last time I had it too. But then again, I’m a glutard.

That was pretty funny shit when Duke TailBetweenmyLegs Sandringham came running over telling Jamie, “Now make sure you let your wife know THIS wasn’t my fault! Here, let me take this petition and get it taken care of. Buh Bye Now! You lay here and catch your breathe I’m going. I’m a big puss.”

Imma chickenshit

Not that Claire cared whose fault it was. Silent treatment was given when he was being stitched up. Pretty sure she regretted that with what was to follow.

Twistylegs McTwisterson pissing all over EVERYONE! Holy CRAP…little man anger is very loud and big. No one was free of his ire. Dougal couldn’t even CRY to get sympathy…the little meany LAUGHED at him when he did. So BANISHED! He banished Dougal to his home. Go home to your dead wife. You can’t be here for your pregnant mistress cuz she is a witch & a temptress…no way you are marrying her. I will take care of that shit! It is ABOUT TO GET REAL ‘ROUND HERE! Jamie…YOU are going too- without your wife. DON’T you talk or I will cut out that tongue you have become so good at using.

NOT the TONGUE!

Seriously Twisty…that was going too far. Pulling the tongue card. How incredibly UNJUST! And for the record young Jamie…you will be BABYSITTING Dougal. You have displeased the wee king of the castle SO much by shedding McDonald blood without HIS permission, you are being punished too. WTG Jamie. So not cool.

Now, time for Jamie & Claire to say their goodbyes. What’s the first thing Jamie says to her? STAY AWAY from Geillis Duncan because TwistyLegs plans on punishing her. STAY AWAY! BE CAREFUL. She says she will – but we know better.

She NEVER listens. Never. Never. Listens.

So Jamie swallows her goodbye. *snort* Good one Dougal. Way to break up the feels. Real kneeslapper!

The tender loving moments between Jamie & Claire capture us now don’t they? *sigh* He rides off with her watching him. She tells him to come back to her “As soon as I can” he says and kisses her forhead. Collective FanSigh.

Next up…Tomas Tomas Tomas…sure he looks scared poopless but really kid. This woman saved your life & now you’re passing her this fake note to send her to Geillis? *sigh*

This is what our note would have said.

Claire confronts Geillis on poisoning F’Arthur, she is scandalized & completely out to lunch. Thinking Dougal will protect her. Yeah ummm, he’s gone. TwistyLegs, is the only one left & he kinda is the one with all the power and he wants ye burnt…like yesterdays toast.

We interrupt this witch burning for a Canadian Heritage moment

Back to our regularly scheduled programming. G- know it now…You are hooped! And because Claire didn’t see our part of the note…the wardens get 2 sorceresses for the price of 1. WTG. You are going to have a fine time getting out of this one.

Then because the production is class A rubbing salt in the wound of Claire “can’t just suffer that much” Fraser. We have a lovely shot of the wee pot stirrer. Laoghaire. The person we ALL love to hate. Beautiful. Yet…she looks a wee bit different – Green about the middle somehow.

Claire sees her. I think if she could go all hulk on those steel bars – she would. Underestimated that one didn’t you?

See you all next time! Don’t forget EVERY Sunday we try to LIVE TWEET with our Showcase viewing. 8 pm MST. #OutlanderCAN

If you wanna play before the next blog – swing by our TWITTER. @ABOotlanders or leave a comment here. I will probably reply. Eventually.

A bunch of us are heading down to The Expo in Calgary this week/end. It’s going to be FUN times. GRAHAM MCTAVISH people. That’s right. I will be attempting to touch him. #THUD

The end.

SL the ABOotiest of ABOotlanders

I reckon The Reckoning was JUST what the doctor ordered. Dr. Jekyll that is

April 8, 2015 by Sherry W.

Get your nuts here. Real nuts. Actual Nuts.

Wow & wow. This episode pulled out all the stops & it seems to have split the fandom- which seems a little nutty to me.

First 1000 thank yous to ALL of those involved in the creation of this series. I know there are people out there that make it their mission to pick everything apart, make fun of shit & feel it’s their given right to voice their very gnarly opinions. My truth is…we should feel privileged to have something to complain about. I won’t because I am grateful to have it in front of my face in the first place. Being entitled isn’t my jam.

The Reckoning was all I could have hoped for – and even more. It was from Jamie’s POV. BRILLIANT. Well played Mr. Moore n company. WELL PLAYED!

Not only because we got to hear his voice overs, lets face it…Sam Heughan’s voice is like mozzarella fingers….smooth n melty melty melty. It was a rock solid plan considering the parts of the story that were going to be told. I loved the opening scene, like a young boy, skipping rocks…just talk Jamie. Keep. Talking. Everyone else shut your damn mouth, Jamie is talking to ME.

Yes. Horrocks. Jerk feed. Shoulda beat his teeth in. Now-wee Willie Winky blow your horn. Really kid? Is it really too much to tell the truth? You went for a piss did you? Nu-uh. As demonstrated later on in the episode by Murtagh & Jamie, a piss only takes a few seconds. You my friend went for a poop. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone poops. They even write books about it. But poopin is for sure what you were doing, other wise Claire would not have had time to wander SO FAR to have found the stones & been caught by the dreaded redcoats and as I like to call him – Captain Creep Master General. That dude has some serious warped inner dialogue that transforms right to his features. Tobias, you are scary. In a good way. If that’s possible.

Off go the fearsome foursome to save the damsel in distress. Murtagh, Rupert, Angus & Jamie. These are four dudes you do not want to meet in a back alley somewhere. They took a whole garrison in one fell swoop! Murtagh and his nighty night cracks to the noodle. Which he is probably known for in the Highlands. “Och, yer havin trouble sleepin? Aye, go visit Murtagh…ye’ll not feel a thing”

Scaling walls with very iffy ropes! I mean come on Jamie, ya gave that thing a tug…it HARDLY seemed stable but SURE…we’ll go down it and take the chance of rope burning your balls to charred bits.

Blowing up barrels o’ pitch & beating the hell out of redcoats with muskets…and bashing that smug nasty sunnuva whoseit face off the desk. Now that’s entertainment folks!

The dialogue between the 3 was entertainment in itself. Captain Creepy was showing off his fetishes a bit “want him to join us?” “Umm pardon excuse me” Claire showing off her big ole medicine balls by threatening to cut off his. Ha. That girl, she will not go down without getting her own in will she? I must say the ass Captain, did seem like he was pulling on her hair a bit rough. Dude, this is TV…calm your nuts a bit. Cait needs that stuff- its a part of her character.

: Take a lesson from Gilbert…lighten up

People have to constantly be reminded THIS IS TV. Why didn’t Jamie kill BJR right there and then? Well…consider this. That would mean Captain Creepy’s story would be over. He would then- create no more havoc. THAT’S JUST NOT ACCEPTABLE. Sheesh. Wentworth knows there is SO much more havoc to be caused.

DUH!

I keep hearing on the interwebs “That didn’t happen in the books.” “They left that out” and sadly it’s usually attached to a tirade of whining.

Hear YE Hear YE! How bloody bored would we get if it were EXACTLY how it were in the books? Seriously? Those of us who know the books…and yes…really know the books. Read them a dozen times or more. We have seen them in our minds o’er and o’er again. The novelty, my friends, would wear off really bloody fast. Another thing…they wouldn’t translate to TV as nicely as you would romanticize in your head. Let the professionals take care of it and shhhhhhhh. Enjoy it. Let the changes be something new and exciting to add to the story you fell in love with. Not a take away. Perspective people.

The fight between Jamie & Claire on the way to Leoch was perfect. The fire, the intensity, the way they got into each others faces. Just like real people do when they are at their breaking points. I loved the way Claire kept jumping in front of Jamie, forcing him to face her & when he finally snapped, spit flying in her face. I sang Murtaghs knock out song “THANK YOU” to the screen because they pulled it off. Then…Snap. Crackle. Pop. Goes Jamie’s wee heart. He vowed to protect her and he just lost his shit all over the place. The whole day came crashing down on him and so did his heart. Sam really didn’t have to recite the lines, his face said most of his dialogue for him. Yup….guts….out. SPLATTOOIE!

Forgiven. Well…for that lil transgression anyway. Claire isn’t really prepared for part 2.

The highlanders play “ignore the Sassenach”. Not even looking at her- acknowledging her existence in anyway. Dammit…just when she got in good with them – and ummmm…they did just save her life. Whateves…sigh

We all knew what was next. We all wondered just how they would handle this little piece of the puzzle. Some hoped they wouldn’t show it, some couldn’t wait to see it. The truth is, we all have this little thing called a personal viewing filter. It is made up of life experiences. It is made up of our every day. It is made up of how we process & perceive things. It is there because of how our lives were shaped. Guess what? WE ARE ALL RIGHT! DUN DUN DUN! I can not for one second argue with someone that has been a victim of domestic violence that their viewpoint has no merit. I can not for one second argue with someone who has been a survivor of sexual assault and healed has no merit. It is pointless to argue with someone who has logical facts about time, personal accounts and realism on their side. I refuse to get into debates with people about time periods & punishments because frankly, this is a story. A story that Diana Gabaldon wrote and now was being made into TV. This scene, and others to come, are intricate parts of said story. I believe they handled this one beautifully.

It showed Jamie’s determination. His logic for his actions. It shows Claire’s no bullshit, not going down without a fight attitude & the spirit of the scene was just that. Take your personal filter out of it for a moment, if you dare – see it for what it was. Character building & story telling. My favourite part of that scene was Claire backing up like a cat in a corner & of course binging things off of Jamie’s head. Girlfriend has a wicked arm! She would be my first pick in a fast ball tourney. No doubt.

Back at Castle Leoch you would think from the reception things would be awesome. Seriously, everyone needs a Mistress Fitzgibbons in their corner…don’t they? What a cheering section!

Biggest WHOOHOOS alright. Next to Laoghaire’s *snicker*

Have that follow you around all day. Make someone feel like a million guineas. I have to say…Colum really turned out to be a fun sucker though. You want a party pooper? Invite old TwisteyLegs McTwisterson to the festivities. He’ll do it quick like.

The politics in the episode swept me away! I really which Harper would take some ball growing lessons from old Colum. Dude might be shooting blanks but he sure knows how to grow ’em. The Jacobite cause is an underlying catch in the first book- with much more in DIA so I loved how they made it such a bone of contention here. It really makes the storyline come off the pages. When Dougal went on his tirade and dropped the bomb…you know…YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER all Maury Povich up in the house! I was like “Damn Guuuurl!”

Having that be a power struggle with the MacKenzie men & within the clan itself was Grade A MacKenzie Meat Sandwich. Make a donair outta that and bring me two! It gave Jamie some much needed time to develope as one whose strategizes & lets others make the moves. It was a very Laird-Like moment for him, aiding Colum in mending that crack in the armour with Dougal.

I have to just say Murtagh, every scene he is in. He steals it for me. Scene Thief! Sound the alarm. Especially in the wood when the boys were putting a pounding on WeeWillieWinkie…and Dougal asked them were they with him.Murtagh went and hocked a loogie. That was a resounding “Up yers” wasn’t it?

That brings us down by the river. Another scene which I am SO glad they added, even if as the time I was the WTF?! The more I thought about it, the smarter I thought it was. Some see this as making Jamie weak. Are you serious? Some see it as making him less honourable? Ummmmm…you be cray cray. Laoghaire…came down to his “secret place”- basically told him she has been stalking him since she was 7. Ok. That’s a bit more than a crush. Jamie KNOWS that he didn’t dismiss her affections all this time. He is aware he got himself into this mess. He now needed to get himself out.

When girlfriend pretty much disrobes and put his hand on the top of her bewb (thats how he says it) – all of a sudden the Outlander fandome expects Jamie to turn into INSTADICK. That he would rip his hand away & proclaim his love for Claire & break her heart at the ready. Let’s not forget. Jamie, is a man. (Well he IS a character..but I am digressing)…bewbies are warm….they feel nice…and they tend to make men stop thinking. Why you say? Because most men can supply oxygen to one head at a time and it took him a moment to get the blood back to the one he needed to be thinking with, and he did. He was letting her down as gently as he could because…he is a man of honour. The one everyone wants him to be. It’s because everyone hates Laoghaire and thinks she a nasty wench…she had done nothing up to THAT point to say she was, except try to get the man that she loved to be with her. With that Jamie was being kind & caring. You know, the kind & caring Jamie everyone wants him to be – but because so many hate Laoghaire- they want him NOT to be kind & caring with her.

Remember, Jamie hasn’t read the books. All I can picture is fans all over the world screaming at poor Jamie…READ THE BOOK! You are supposed to be perfect you regular piece of shit human! snort

Can we have make up sex now? PUHLEASE? Jamie going back to Claire & their room, contemplating how he was going to get back into her…good graces. Dude. Is. Good. I am glad he did a little soul searching, he became a man in that room. Admitting that his relationship with her meant more to him than everything he had been taught since he was a lad. I did have to giggle when he said this about Colum though. “I saw a rigid man bend” I shouldn’t have laughed but…ummmm the guy is bending starting at the ankles, it was an analogy that just…you know…ok. I will stop.

If you are going to break a steely girl heart, a good way to do it is pull out your dirk…and swear your loyalty to her.

The dialogue that took place after, right before they got into the HOT HOT HOT sex was perfect. Him asking if she wanted to live separately, her admitting she probably should but that wasn’t the way of it, then them coming together. Slight pun intended here. The intimacy that was displayed was intense & yeah, I might have felt a little voyeuristic but in a really good way.

I have heard some say this scene was like soft porn. Ahem. Folks. No. GO pick up yourself some soft porn – I know soft porn – this ain’t it. This is however GOOD TV SEX! I would much rather see our couple actually coupling rather than looking like they are a soap opera sliding into bed and rubbing 2 sticks together. That is NOT Jamie & Claire sex like I read it…to be perfectly honest with you, neither is what they showed me. What I read- is full on pornography…I have a FANTASTIC imagination. What they pulled off in this episode was flipping brilliant. It looked like actually make up sex! I laugh that more people didn’t freak about Claire pulling the knife on Jamie & threatening to gut him while she was riding him. This of course was perfect timing on her part because any man will promise anything during an intense sexual encounter such as this. “New house babe? Sure…just don’t stop!” “That new ring…YES! How many carats!? Keep going!” It’s a fantastic power position. Ladies, start your engines & get a grip, being sexually empowered is a MUST.

Making our way to the last dramatic GASP.

LAOGHAIRE DUNDUNDUN

The illwish. That Jamie didn’t know it was Laoghaire in the books made me think he was a few fries short of a happy meal (in the books) but with the extra scenes in the show…of course he would know and right away. I loved the dramatic effect they threw in for the show. This is ALWAYS necessary – it’s a) fun for audience b) it makes the scene pop c) it shows peeps this is important. To play it off as not a big deal…people would be whiney about that.

TV shows need triangles. I am really looking forward to what they do with Laoghaire. Nell Hudson is fantastic. The Colum/Dougal/Jamie thing is fantastic. I must say all the added bits, as a book fan get me all revved up! I KNOW the books! I love the books, but they are the books. This is something new. BRING IT ON.

SL- the AB-Ootiest of all ABOotlanders (that mean I have the biggest arse)

A very Merry UN-Birthday to the Reason Outlander LIVES!

January 6, 2015 by Sherry W.

Jan 11th is a big day in the world of the Outlander fan. Why? Because it was the day the one, the only, Diana Gabaldon was born. Yep, much against popular belief, she wasn’t delivered from angels or brought down by the Gods…she was born…like most of us. Yes, I said most. I am not convinced some of you weren’t hatched or aren’t some sort of pod people. Just saying.

Oh…and if you are offended by that last comment. Hello there, pod person, who was hatched.

I must say I have a really hard time picturing Diana as a baby. In my minds eye, she must always have been speaking in complete sentences…diapers? Pfffft! Not this baby Gabaldon, she was “not” hovering over the potty before she could could say “publish me”. It simply…did…not…happen.

Yes…THIS simply makes much more sense in my brain…**GIGGLES**

For those who have had Diana in our worlds a long time. Like 20 plus years, a long time. She has become a part of our vernacular. People get “Gabaldoned” – Personally I like to say “gabalDON’T do you do it” when they seem to take it upon them self to try to school Diana on how she should or shouldn’t do her work…life or business. As far as I’m concerned, you open yourself for a little verbal ass kickin’ when you do this. By Diana or anyone else on the planet if you are rude enough to play that douche roulette. She becomes a part of our homes & jewelry boxes . We have dragon flies decorating our homes, Claire rings on our fingers, we have JAMMF licence plates, we have paintings of standing stones and taken trips to Scotland, when in many cases, those trips weren’t in our minds until a nurse on the pages of a book travelled there herself.

Today is NOT January the 11th. Today is January the 9th! Us Heughliots don’t follow many rules.

Rule Breakers of the World. Unite.

We know Diana loves Disney. So do many of us (ahem…me…I am turning the rest…so…)

This is a VERY MERRY UNbirthday to Diana!

Let us all sit around for a little cup of tea…well some can have tea…Diana – here is a Diet Coke…

one for you

I’ll grab a shot of something not tea or coke.

one for me…ok…4 for me. Don’t count. That’s rude.

Here is our UNBirthday Message to Diana…perhaps we will be lucky enough for her to see it.

We have all heard & experienced the way she has influenced lives with her books & her words. We get to enjoy the new fans experiencing them for the first time now. We get to watch the world that was created on the page come to life on screen & that too, is THRILLING! It is like the best UNBirthday present ever. She have given us ALL a gift. One that just has kept giving and giving and giving. *whispers to all the ladies* You all see the video of Sam….sweating…running…and sweating….Yeah….thank Diana! Ultimately…NONE of that…NONE…without this woman.

We truly have no way we can thank Diana for ALL of the gifts she has given us. Going back to the very first word she has written, to the last one put to the keyboard that we haven’t had the pleasure of seeing. THERE ARE NO WORDS BIG ENOUGH. NO FONT BOLD ENOUGH…NO ITALIC LICY ENOUGH…to express our gratitude.

We joke all the time about being #Cracklanders with a severe addiction. In truth, Diana was our first supplier. The one that said “Pssst, here…try this…just read a couple pages…you’ll like it.”

Like it we did. Never getting enough but waiting anxiously. Like we said before…we are ok…Kinda

May this UNbirthday be filled with all the joy, love & un-aging that the last 62 have blessed you with Diana!

Much Love, the Heughliots of AB

Sher – Heughliot @Large

Can Outlander change Mr. Canoehead into a kilted warrior? Well a girl can dream!

October 27, 2014 by Sherry W.

A kilted Canoehead…well ya know. It’s a mythical creature.

Some of our men are making a right good attempt at it. Yes, that’s proper Canadian grammar. Look it up. Its in the Canadian Websters Grammar Book of ~~Good~~ Well Grammar.

See. YOU GOT IT

The Heughliots are an interesting lot. Some of us, like me, have been in very long relationships. Mine began when I was a mere stupid lass of 14. Oh be quiet…we are ALL stupid at 14. I ended up marrying that guy (thank whoever you want to thank, because boy I did shameful things with him…) I’m now *mumble* *mumble. We have been together a VERRA long time. He has been listening to me talk about one James Fraser for going on 20 yrs now. So much so that when the announcement of the TV show was made his reaction was a solid – No. Not THAT.

No. I do not like this at all. Not one bit. No.

We will get into that more later shall we?

The Heuliots have our collection of the single ladies

So Many Single Ladies- maybe not all “ladies” – we use the term loosely

Heughliots w boy friends, boytoys, girlfriends,girltoys or pets

As long as they play nice they fall into one of the 5 catagories

Heughliots who are in relationships & have young kids who have to run for quickies in the bathroom while Dora is on…Yeah…that’s a thing. Poor buggers. I lived there once.

And some happily romancing Jamie instead. Yes, I can see where the imagination is a nicer place to be sometimes. You go girls!

Me and Jamie are happy – in my dreams. That’s a real place. Bite ME!

As you can see the Heuliots are a motley crew of women with all sorts of relationship experience to pull from. It shows you that we make up a great sample of what the fandom looks like. Sure, we are Canadian…sure we are weird…but I can assure you – most of this fandom – just a weeeee bit touched in the ole brain cavity.

We are not crazy…we are mentally hill-hairy-ass!

Before I completely forget that this blurb is NOT all about us, it’s about our partners too, let me put this train back on the rails.

Many of us have had to get our partners on board with this ride. For me, it took some work. Mine whined Jamie’s name when ever he said it. “Jaaaaaaaamie”. He had a major hate on for my book boyfriend. Then he met him and was like “Well shit. Now I know why you have been crushing on him all these years, he IS the bloody King of Men…this is RIDICULOUS!” Then of course he has a debt to owe the man. Go back a few blogs to be reminded of that would you?

Other HeughliHusbands are realizing quickly that Outlander is not all about the book porn. This is what of course they think we have been reading for 20 yrs. Yep, they thought this was our version of Hustler, but it was confusing to them because it didn’t have pictures. Throw back at them…”Well I thought you read THAT for the articles?” Aaaaanyway. The first episode didn’t help our argument because well…SEX…bewbies…the oral SEX…they were like “I was right…it is PORN!”

I was Right! I was Right! I was Right! I was Right!

Well played Ron.D.Moore. Well played. You sucked those boys in and they didn’t even see it coming. Then you shot muskets. Played loud music. Showed gory bones out of joint and blood. Well played sir. You did it. You hooked them.

We have some partners who are still needing translation. It can get pretty comical at times. Admin Tammy had this conversation with her hubby discussing the wedding night. There is the lovely moment when Jamie is describing the colours in Claire’s Hair – her husband says to her – “What is so hot about the brown water and the dark spots in the water in a BARN???”

Barn water. That’s disgusting. Why does she think that’s romantic. What am I missing here? I have to be missing something don’t I?

After she could breathe again she explained to him… Burn… Jamie says burn not barn – burn as in a stream! Can you imagine what dark and brown barn water would be??? YEUCKKKK!!!

I certainly have had to listen to my fair share of shagging with wee beastie comments. I believe my husband and Rupert are kindred spirits. Once Rupert made that comment about Angus- and he replayed it 4 times until he heard the whole scene clearly. He makes jokes about the chickens, goats, horses & “shaggy” cows & why some Scotsmen wear boots with their kilts. Clearly knowing he is climbing hill-hairy-ass! The commentary is quite entertaining.

The cool part is, my hubs likes to score brownie points. So he calls me things like Sassanach. Before the show aired…his pathetic attempts sounded like Sasquatch & Saskatchewan. Yup. Right there buddy. At that point he only had my saying it to him and not “getting it.” Now hearing it himself and “seeing” the reaction and getting the results. Yup…he let’s common sense motivate him.

Now that we are waiting until April for the next 8 Episodes, he wants to know what happens next. However, he is not a reader. If it isn’t on glossy pages and doesn’t fall over the back of the toilet…he won’t read it. So, after forever, he has me reading it to him before bed each night. He likes the differences, however gets a little annoyed by the descriptive nature of the book. He’s a dude, he likes to get to the point. That’s ok. We are enjoying this new experience. My scottish accent is getting better. Well I think it is…shuddup.

Some of the other men in our lives are not seeing the benefit of embracing the world of Outlander. They could be getting so much more action. Keeping so much warmer this winter and have a much happier partner. Take the damn canoe off your head and see the light people. See the Sassenach at the end of the stones! Or Claire in the Box…However you look at it – the end result is a good time had by all.

Get in the Box…it’s warm in the box.

Well it’s marathon time in my house. I have to prepare. This means getting the most comfortable blankey, hitting up Kernels for dill pickle popcorn ( Love how it burns the first 3 layers of taste buds off my tongue) & getting some Disaronno for sipping aka gulping. For those who thought I meant running marathon. You are on the real kind of crack…not my kinda crack…which ends in lander.

I know how to survive this Droughlander. I will not perish.

SL Heughliot @ Large

Canada Dry…not the pop- the time between Outlander Episodes 8 & 9. ORIGINAL

October 15, 2014 by Sherry W.

Here we sit. Waiting. This is what happens when you get addicted – Cracklander. You binge out and then there is a dry spell in town, problem is, we can’t hop in the car and go to the big city to score a hit or call Creepy Uncle Jack that Mom doesn’t ever want us to talk to…we have to wait it out.

Do I look impressed? No…it’s because I’m not.

So, we wait. It’s a reallllll good thing that I have a shit load of friends waiting with me, tappin their own veins until episode 9 airs. Our American friends at least “know” their kill switch date. Up here, in the great white…well…we can only hope that Showcase gets it right this time. HINT HINT! Nope. I am NOT known for subtly.

Can you hear me NOW?!

As much as we like leftovers, we prefer not to have them – every – single – meal. Knowhatimsayin?

So? What shall we do while we wait? I have some suggestions for you.

Not all of them are practical and not all of them will particularly help ease the pain.

We tend to either state the obvious, be incredibly sarcastic or…you know…pull shit like this.

When have you known me to be practical or helpful? I’m here to entertain… or create a reasonable facsimile of humour in some form. I think you may be getting used to that concept by now eh?

We have to FIRST stop complaining that there is a break. There’s a break. Will complaining stop the break? Nooooooo…the break does not stop with the complaining. Yes, I am saying this to myself just as much as I am saying it to everybody else.

Even Jack can’t take it any more

The next step is to DO something about it. We have to pass the time somehow. So LET’S get creative! Sure, some of us can knit (not me), some can make WONDERFUL fan videos, (not me), some can paint or draw, (not me) so the Not Me’s of the world…must do other things…here are some suggestions.

Take them in the spirit they are intended.

To Excite and Entice. No?

Find another addiction. It’s what addicts do. When the crack runs dry…the meth’ll do. So tune into The Walking Dead, catch up on a show you never watched like Breaking Bad, if there is still one or two of you out there that hasn’t seen it…or REALLY treat yourself and watch Republic of Doyle. I am not shitting you. That is some good TV right there!
See how good that TV is? He has what we ladies call STUPIDMAKERS…those muscles that trail on down to his happy place…No idea what they are called…but ummmmm….DUH *drool* DUHsummore

Or check something else out that captures your interest and makes you want to watch it again and again. Something that makes you want to research the characters, watch previous seasons, and get the books. Whatever you need to do to fill the gaps of time. You know, about 6 months worth.

Read ALL the Gabaldon books. In my case…Re-Re-Re-Re-Re-Re(oh FFS you get the picture x 12) the books, throw in the novellas, the Lord John series, listen to the audio books by Davina Porter. That ought to keep you busy and out of touch with reality a good long while. We know Diana’s books are kinda on the large side…which is great…because when someone interrupts you while reading, you can throw it at their whole face. Not half, not just their nose or chin…their WHOLE face. Click right here if you want to know the chronological order of all the tomes. *PHEW-Big words n meanings…need a drink!*

Scour the interwebs for ~~juicy gossip~~ interesting information about the show, cast & crew. This does not make you a stalker. It makes you curious. Curiosity is a good thing. Remember when they said that when you were little? Yeah, just pretend that.
There’s no problem here…carry on

Considering we are going to be waiting in Canada from the months Oct- probably around April/May. Shovel your snow, clean off your car, scrape the ice off your windows and watch some hockey games. AKA Be a Productive Human That ought to keep you plenty friggen busy eh? Me…I do not choose to do those things. You will continue to see me right here. Typing out blogs for your viewing pleasure or roll your eyedom.

Last but not least…Get a life. BAHAHAHA! Who’m I kiddin right? WHO exactly spent a couple hours today writing this VERY blog? Yeah…this girl…
That was mean. I shouldn’t have

I just wanted to see your face when I said it. Too bad I can’t…I do have have a great imagination though. Thanks to Mr. Dress-Up, Casey & Finnagin all those years ago. What I wouldn’t do for a Tickle Trunk today. Well I have the grown up version but a kids version would help pass the time too….never mind…the grown up version is just fine.

Yep…mine’s just a lil bigger.

Needless to say, the Droughtlander will be over before we know it because well…the best way to get through ANY tough situation is to Get Claire Drunk and stay Claire drunk. Let’s face it. Us Canadians have livers of steel. If there is something we do, and do well. It’s drink. Wine, beer, rum, whisky, vodka, liqueurs…we are equal opportunity. Besides, it helps keep us warm over those cold winter months. We are not a stupid people.

No I do not endorse alcoholism…but drunkeness is a whole other sandbox

Stay warm Canada…and to our Outlander friends…we don’t like to drink alone so let’s get this party started. *HIC*

SL – Heughliot @ Large

Our original Blog date on this was in October…How Time Flies when you are being tortured…

We are takin’ on Both Sides Now. MidSeason cut off…the television version of pulling out too soon

October 14, 2014 by Sherry W.

I’m pulling a Claire and grabbing the booze. I just need to cry…drink it out.

It simply didn’t last long enough. It was like Jamie’s first time…good enough for them – we are left wanting.

Even though Showcase did their part and dragged it out for us. You know, for all the bitching and moaning I did, we got 2 extra weeks (because we started 2 weeks later) and we got 4 hours more (granted it was all commercials but it was more). Canadians are collectively sitting around their furnaces and praying to the Natural Gas gawds that the return in April is at the same time Starz returns! April 4th. April 4th!

WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE. Can ya take a subtle hint per chance?

We rallied the troops for the midseason finale- which happened to be Thanksgiving Sunday. We live tweet with fellow Canadians using a hashtag I started the first week Outlander premiered in Canada – #OutlanderCAN. Our fellow CrackLander sisters from all over the world who are going through withdrawls, joined us.

Even Caitriona Balfe stopped by for a tweet and some favouriting. She is incredibly gracious. We really love her.

Her tweet helped us trend in Canada. It was pretty exciting considering we were up against the all and powerful The Walking Dead. (Which I also love…but its like comparing Scots n Zombies…you just…can’t)

We beat Thanksgiving…that was pretty cool! I got this pic from Outlander Pal Alicia Prevost

See that? Right there? AHEAD of The Walking Dead…premiere night for them. Yeah…that’s right…a BIG DAMN DEAL!

I always get distracted…so I guess I should talk about the last episode eh? It was pretty friggen phenominal. There was a lot of Frank tonight, which I know many book readers have issues with and I must say 3 little words to you. Get-over-it. Canadians aren’t always sweet natured. Reference the Canadian goose, they are real assholes.

Truth is, I completely see the value of this portion of the visually told story. This is all stuff that “could have” been happening in the book but since the whole book is from THE Claire viewpoint….TADA…we didn’t see it did we? Nooooooo…this is really very clever. I respect the transition and the extra OOOMPH they gave Frank.

Like we said in our 10 Outlandish Things we are Thankful For blog. They went and made us LIKE the guy! (Yes Karen et al, we know you always liked Frank…shhh now…you are distracting me again)

So the opening sequence of this episode didn’t irritate me. It made me feel for the guy. PoliceMan Dan had to get his drink on to deal with Frank…apparently he has been a super hemorrhoid to the whole operation. It must be terribly irritating for Frank…you know, being smarter than everyone around you and having to clue them into that fact. Tiring being so bloody intelligent. I should know.

I love how Policeman Dan just keeps sipping his whisky flavoured tea…getting ready to go into ragemode times two. Frank poked the bear and the bear poked back. Talk about a pissing contest. Policeman Dan won that round though because Frank left looking like his wife had disappeared through some stones – I dunno 200 yrs and fallen in love with a highlander or somethin.

And POOF…there we are…back in 1743…and it is pissin out. SO rainy. Like don’t listen too close or you will have to pee rainin out. We are on a hill while Jamie n Claire have some major and I mean MAJOR hand sex. Boy…those two played the eye sex into the ground in the earlier episodes, well now…they have that, put the hand sex on top of it, and you have a new kinda Subway sandwich. I don’t have to explain the special sauce to you.

They have a moment, where we see that Claire is falling for this young man. He wonders if what he is feeling for her is normal..you know…cuz she is super experienced with all the men – she tells him “No way hoser…this is different than all the other times in my life when the boys came to my yard. Afterall, there are no milkshakes here.”

THEN…*Whoosh* an arrow comes in their yard. Surely if it wanted to hit them, it would have but Jamie goes into panther mode and tackles Claire and stealthily crawls over to the arrow and recognizes it like an old friend. Those arrows must have dimples & red curls just like him. This character jumped straight off the pages into my heart…and he did EXACTLY the same thing in the show. What a treat! It was like a box of smarties in the guise of Hugh Monro!

I love the foreshadowing. I love they used Hugh FOR the foreshadowing of the second season when he gave Claire the Dragonfly in Amber. It was such a great moment and you could see Claire fall in love with Hugh right then too. It was so friggen SWEET. Let’s not forget though, he isn’t just there to be our window dressing, he has some important shit to tell…which is not the easiest thing when you have no tongue. Turkish bastards who cut it out…Long story short, Hugh has had a rough damn go of it but now…he has a license to beg…surely that makes it all better eh? ANYWAY… It takes Jamie a few tries but he deciphers the clues that Hugh has given him and gathers what he has to mumble. There is this guy with 2 big balls who can get the price off of Jamie’s head. It HAS to be that easy doesn’t it?

Hugh gets some loving from Claire, see…another boy in her yard…That girl.

Jamie then tells her he might get to go home and take her with him… to be Lady Lallybroch – and the sighs went down around Canada then.

We do a whole lot of Happy Claire…Sad Frank in this episode.

We are now in the Reverends study with the Reverend going over all these things that could have happened to Claire…one sounding stupider than the last…her falling through time is WAY more logical dude. Accept it.

Even Frank is getting a wee bit pissy with the Reverend and his ideas when suddenly things and Frank couldn’t get any sadder…the cutest little boy you ever laid your eyes on comes in the room with Mrs. Graham. Its wee Roger! Now Frank sees everything he has lost…his wife & his future. *BAWLING* and OMG I want to squeeze that little boys cheeks so hard they pop!

I admit it. I watched The Walking Dead last night too. But I don’t wanna eat wee Roger up THAT way. That’s gross.

I had to also accept the fact that they gave me this cute and adorable lil fraggle for Roger …but I know that given their penchant for casting hot, want to rip their kilts off sexy men…that wee Roger won’t be so wee in Season 2…and well…I will be wanting to do dirty things to him. I felt just a little uncomfortable – for a second. I have very little couth. You know, thought I would tell you in case you had no observation techniques.

Frank decided to go to Claire’s school of dealing with shit. He ends up at a bar. Brits and Canadians have that in common too 😉

Here comes some chick named Sally – really- she says she knows where “he” is. I smell a trap…must be the same one they set in that smoking ashtray.

So the trap has been laid for the would be “professor” that actually is a military intelligence officer..so yeah…you think he might be expecting to get jacked?

We have to wait to see because we jump back to the 18th century where is it Rupert Rooms story time. Everyone sitting by the fire listening to Rupert talk about the Waterhorse of the loch.

If you listen closely you will hear him talk about waterweed and the like. Many tips of the hat to the books in this little portion, so as much bitching as there was for the bits left out, there were many popped in for our enjoyment.

Jamie & Claire’s handsex moments carried on, right there in front of everyone. Can you imagine. Then…dun dun dun…things started happening! Horses got all freaked, men started pulling out their weapons but “not” pulling out their weapons. Rupert kept telling his story while getting ready to leap. It was Scottish Ninja time –

-they knew they were about to be attacked but were going to get the jump on the punks. Plus Bear McCreary put in the bagpipes so you KNOW someone is gonna get an ass kickin…Highland style. I don’t know about anyone else but…damn…those screaming, yelling, sword n dirk weilding kilted men get me all hot n bothered when they are beating up people. THAT’S how the UFC should be, in the dark, in the mud, in kilts…mmmmm…yeah. Now THAT’S hot!

*Fans Self*

They ran off those Grants good! Ned saved the day…night…by shooting one of them in the shoulder. Ned…wow boyo! All the while protecting the books and didn’t even drop a page. That man has talent. Someone get him a hoooooor for the night! He deserves it.

They all feel pretty friggen good after their victory! Who wouldn’t, they had the WTH just happened looks on their faces…then HILL-HAIRY-TEES ensued!

If you didn’t catch it, Jamie called Claire my love when he took her in his arms afterwards. BIG FAT JUICY SIGHS all around.

THEN cut to Frank again…they really are doing a trip on me here. It is like AHHHHH Everything is awesome Everything is Awesome…BOOM…SADFACEEMOJICON! Like I don’t feel I am crazy enough – they do this to my feels.

Naturally, Frank comes prepared for the trap that was laid down for him. He had a glimmer of hope of course or he wouldn’t have shown up but he did…and little Sally ducked off to the corner while 2 guys jump him. Frank pulls out a – guess? Guess what it is? Its a weapon…it has a name…its a, yup, its a black jack club. Nice! Subtle and pretty clever once again. Frank goes into black jack mode actually, taking it a bit over board in the beating department. We get a bit of a glimpse of his ancestor there don’t we? He rounds on lil ms. Sally when she stops him- almost strangled the livin stupid out of the woman. When he came to his senses. Knowing damn well the highlander didn’t exist.

Reverend Wakefield tries to let Frank know that sips from the mug of evil are ok…just don’t take any big gulps or your done for. He figures if he stays…he’s hooped. Time to move on now. All of their sleuthing has come up with nothing so obviously Claire skipped town with the highlander guy. Off you go now!

We go back again to the charming fun Highlanders. Rupert gives us the 18th century version of “That’s what she said” and yes…I snorted. They are bonding and showing Claire the love, wanting her to be protected if it comes down to it – so you know that’s foreshadowing- dammit! But lets enjoy this scene while we can because it is quite a lot of fun. Angus, the wiley wee bugger is a great teacher so he is the one in charge of showing Claire how to use her wee sticker.

Laughs and joyfulness during the teaching then BOOM..back to sad Frank. ERMERGERD Ron D Moore. You really are putting us through the ringer this time.

Its like a bloody great hockey game. Back n forth. Back n Forth! I can’t get enough of it. Boom we are back in the wet heather with Jamie and Claire getting super hot n heavy. Being ADORKABLE as always. Talking about how he feels like god himself…lol…loved that line from the book and glad they used it. Cait played this part so well. Giggling, yet still remaining intimate and attached. I felt like a voyeur, watching them like that. I didn’t want to turn away but I could definitely imagine myself backing up and focusing in with the binoculars if I had to. Can’t. Get. Enough.

aaaaaaaand…of course, just when things are getting most awesome – CLICK- You hear a hammer being drawn back. Then you see a barrel come into focus and the faces of our two lovers go from ecstasy to terror because some bloody deserter from the redcoats and his mate decide this of all moments is the perfect one to ruin someones day!

They tear Jamie off Claire and start in on them both. Claire is more than terrified, Jamie is both terrified and pissed right off. Not a great combination. The problem is, these arrogant redcoats think this is going to be easy pickings. Little do they know that Claire has gotten lessons how to stick a prick recently. One of the nasty lil twerps jumps on her to rape her and she goes into quiet, think this through and gut the little arsewipe mode. Because this is the LAST thing the other idiot expects, he is caught off guard and Jamie takes like ZERO seconds to react and turns him into a human PEZ dispenser. This guy now has a flip top head.

These are the moments when having commercials makes me go just a TAD postal. Yes. I understand the necessity. Yes. I know this is not Starz and Showcase shows commercials so we get them…but we get a hell of a LOT of them. A half an hours worth of them and pretty much the same ones. When they come at times like this well I don’t really care the TV can’t hear or see me, I’m flippin it the bird.

Commercial breaks smamercial breaks.Pft!

It is in this moment, Jamie throws the deadcoat off Claire, gathers her into his arms and runs up the hill to fetch a pail…ummm…to comfort her.

Mrs. Graham has had enough of listening to this hogwash bullshit that the reverend has been spouting about Claire living in a cave eating frogs and thinks Frank ought to hear HER hogwash bullshit that frankly is the truth! He overhears them and is all like “You guys talking about me?” Mrs. Graham gets all cocky and says…”Yeah cuz there are tonnes of other guys whose wives went up into the stones, lets have a spot of tea while I tell you a tale of the wee folk. It might sound kookey but you know deep down it’s easier to bite down on than her up and leaving for some random dude in a kilt aye? aye?”

She goes on and on and Frank just stares at her, Through her. He is thinking “Lady, you are touched in that head of yours” and part of him kinda looks like he wants to pull out that black jack of his again. He is a gentleman though and just gets up and says …Ok enough cray cray in this town. I’m out…Oh and because you can’t feel sad enough, we are going to grab you with some great big sad wee Roger baby eyes.

You can’t look at me without seeing your future slipping away can you sir?

We cut back to Claire & Jamie on the hill, him begging for forgiveness. Calling her my love, in Gaelic, he is angry at himself for allowing her to be mishandled, she is going into shock and repeating over and over its ok, she is going into shock. Ummmm, I don’t know lots about shock but if you are going into it, I’m thinking…you aren’t really alright. The other men show up because they heard the shot and they tell Jamie, after this, there is no way that he is going to meet that english deserter on his own. No way!

This is the moment in time that I say…DAMN that girl can ACT! Yes, Tobias is awesome, Sam is amazing, Graham kicks ass, Grant & Steven rock…but Caitriona – she is… Straight up. She goes from being attacked, killing a dude, being swept up, going into shock and then…being down right pissed off with the world…and it all comes off as seemlessly as a hoooooor’s skirts. Jamie lets her know she has to stay behind with babysitter Willie while he goes to his meeting with the others. She burns him good saying she has made it quite apparent she can take care of herself. Girls do that, right below the belt…and let’s face it, when your wearing a kilt, pretty easy to grab onto the fellas and give a twist.

The next few scenes are absolutely riveting TV! Frank is driving back to Oxford but he takes a wee detour up to Craigh Na Dun. Willie has to go for a poop so Claire, is left alone, she starts wandering when…BOOM…Craigh Na Dun. We get visuals of Frank on one side of the rocks….Claire rushing up the other side of the rocks. Frank then calls out Claire’s name in desperation…and GUESS WHO HEARS HIM? Not just us…nope nope nope…Claire, who is 200 years in the past…HEARS him and starts screaming back…he hears her too. The next few moments are some of the coolest we have seen, heard & felt.

Then Claire reaches up for the stones, you think…maybe…(But no you really don’t because most of you read) and those bloody redcoats grab onto her! Seriously…the bitching and moaning I heard about them not doing the near drowning scene with Claire. Let me remind you 1) adaptation 2) Cait is a real live person that would have to act that out, and if you haven’t noticed, they do things really authentically and I’m am thinking, any body of water would have frigid ass water in it. 3) adaptation. The way they did it was brilliant. I laughed at one comment “The redcoats just came out of the blue.” Sort of the same way they did in the book. Sort of the same way they did a few minutes earlier. This is also from Claire’s point of view, she was pretty focused on those rocks wasn’t she? Probably wouldn’t see the redcoats either…even when or IF they were there. Let your brains breath people – they will feel better and enjoy the show MUCH more when you do.

The scene of Frank going down one portion of the hill and Claire getting dragged down the other. Yep. That.

Claire knows who is at the end of her journey, she knows where she is going…they are following the map to CreepyTown. *sigh*

Claire & BJR always play their game of cat & mouse. This time Claire decides to use her bit of info on him, that the Duke of Sandringham is his lil buddy. This shocks him enough he spits out his drink

Then Claire…does what Claire does best. She get cocky. Starts telling him “You better just keep your big mouth shut, the duke wouldn’t like it very much if you exposed me…blah blah blah.

And the mouse…gets caught…again. Claire falls into the trap of BJR. He mentions how if she is a secret agent of the duke, she has GOT to be a secret agent of the duchess…Claire is like DUH…of course butthead. So now…lets go through our desk drawer where MOST folk have staplers and pens…this crazy effer has oh…ROPE! Magic Jack. Wonder where he will pull a bunny out of next time!?

This is where shit gets ugly. She tries to take off but the little corporal is no Mountie and he offers her zero protection…ooooh he may be part Canadian, he did say he was sorry before handing her back over to the sick bastard. This is where BJR makes one monumental mistake “No matter what you hear…don’t you come back.” But we won’t know how bad that is till later…oh in about 6 MONTHS!

She screams, good and loud because now, she knows what this guy is capable of. He rips off her clothes, grabs her by the hair and slams her onto his desk getting ready to force her into all sorts of evilness.

Suddenly – BANG! Someone threw open the sash…the bat signal got sent! There is JAMIE! Hunkered down in the windowsill with a musket aimed at BJR. Jamie…always the gentleman says “I’ll thank you to take your hands OFF my WIFE.”

Goes to Crazy Jack face…love seeing that stunned SHOCK on his face…Claire’s face thinking…Ummm yep…left it a little late but THANK PETE but boy this is going to get cold n tiresome laying splayed across this desk for the next 6 months. Jamie too…stuck in the windowsill, looks like its cold n rainy out there, he might get a leg cramp.

But for reals, Jem spent what? 5 yrs in a tunnel? Surely these guys can handle 6 months in these precarious positions…the tough part is for US FANS!. Not U.S. fans US..us…one word. All of us.

I really hope that Showcase can manage to show the rest of the episodes in succession along with our American counterpart. That would be lovely of them to do.

I do believe we have shown them we can bring up the excitement level for them. #OutlanderCAN was started by us Heughliots at the start of episode one…it’s kinda caught on, and may I mention again…it trended!?

#3 – That’s right…you see it.

Don’t worry, we aren’t going to disappear over the hiatus. Our crazy doesn’t burn out that easy!

SL Heughliot @ Large

AB-Ootlander. This Canadian group needed a Mascot. MEET TOGER!

October 8, 2014 by Sherry W.

There is a whole lot of talent in our group of Heughliots and I don’t just mean our unending wit and the ability to put our feet behind our heads.

We have artists too. One being Nikki Galenza. Check her out. Her art…well… her too…she is pretty cute!

Nikki does some beautiful Outlander inspired stuff. I own some myself. Don’t attempt to jump through the stone circles on canvas…sigh…it really doesn’t work. Someone told me.

Aaaaaanyway…I thought to myself one day, wouldn’t it be fun to have a mascot for the Heughliots, especially for our AB-Ootlander page. Naturally…it should be a beaver…since we are a group of women…I mean Canadians.

So I begged Nikki to make him. She did. During the creation process, she told me that he looked like a “Roger”…that was cute. Then I watched a certain episode of Outlander in which Murtagh handed Rupert a chicken leg telling him to wrap his hand around that instead of his “tadger”. Well…so “Toger” was born. (Toger rhymes with Roger…got it now?) Good stuff.

He is a cute beaver bugger…and we plan on him getting into some trouble.

His BFF’s will be Rupert n Angus for a while.

If you have any ideas for adventures with Toger, throw them our way – right in our face!

We also have our own Heughliots store where you can buy Toger inspired goodies. All proceeds do go to the charities Caitriona & Sam support. So shop happy and drink outta a beaver…mug.

Go ahead leave a comment for us 😀

Heughliot @ Large

AB-Ootlander. Canadians melt into puddles over Episode 7. The Wedding.

October 6, 2014 by Sherry W.

Just. Like. That.

Little and huge puddles splashing all over the place. Why? Because Showcase finally aired THE Wedding (because if I hadn’t said it yet. Canada is 2 wks behind our American friends) So yeah, the wedding. You know. THE one between James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser & Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp (pronounced Beecham). Damn…I keep on puddlin! I need to take a break. No…no break, I like the torture.

This was MY favourite episode. For a few reasons. None having to do with the sweet sweet Scottish ass we got to witness. Not. At. All.

So we start this episode with a FLASHFRANK. There they are cute as a button couple walking down Degrassi street. **SideNote** Now…anyone who has a problem with Claire’s body…her backside is perfectly round and full in this shot (and other ones) As a confident heterosexual woman…I have no qualms saying Claire (Cait) has the CUTEST apple bottom.

We get a 2fer. Starting with wedding #1. I liked the change of venue for them…in the book, there is enough room for the coincidences – on TV- its pretty squished so I liked the spontaneity. I think some didn’t like it because it made them like Frank more. God forbid a TV show delve into character development SHAME on them!

We go from one kiss to the one we have been waiting for! WHAT? What about the wedding…I can’t see the dress…COME ON…

Whats GOING on here!?

That WAS my first reaction. My next was…”Ah I see what they are doing here…” and I LIKE it! I like it A LOT.

So the wedding happened but we didn’t see it – we will because – I saw pictures on Twitter and FB and instagram…

They are married and in the room at the inn together. I must say this…I LOVE LOVE LOVE the lil extras Sam gives us in his role as Jamie. When he walked into the room with Claire – his fingers were tapping. These subtle little signs are what MAKE HIM JAMIE.

Can’t. Take. It!

They have some pretty awkward moments at first. Who wouldn’t right? Me…Me. I probably wouldn’t. Unless you call jumping on his face as soon as he walks through the door – awkward.

Bob Hope she calls him…Claire references to her previous life. I can’t wait till she calls him John Wayne! Classic moment on it’s way…maybe. We can never tell what they put in recycling, throw to the curb or reinvent. It’s kinda fun to guess though!

They need to break this tension, how? Claire has an idea, it involves whisky! I SOOOOO didn’t see that one coming. *that is sarcasm if you didn’t catch it* The best way to handle any situation is to drink. Don’t worry, she isn’t an alcoholic…she is soberphobic. Wouldn’t YOU be? Seriously!

They go to their first “story time”…I loved this concept. Since everything has been from Claire’s viewpoint thus far it is pretty cool to see things that happened away from her. First being Dougal telling Jamie he will be the one to marry her…then he goes and gets piggy again. Seriously SideEye…can we have an episode where you stick to ONE personality? Geez! He is being a total hoser.

I can’t help staring at Claire’s boobs. They are pushed WAY up…look like a couple bags of milk bustin out. Yes…bags of milk. I’m not kidding.

They ARE a thing.

Then Jamie says the most amazing things to Claire…you know…like stuff right out of the book! “You have my name, my clan, my family. And if necessary the protection of my body as well” Ummmmmm YES PLEASE! I feel an immediate danger! Protect me with your BODY! I am not sure if the rest of Canada heard it but I DID…FLUTTERS all around. I don’t mean hearts – I mean panties.

aaaaaaand there they go!

That does it…she finally sits with him on the bed but pulls a serious cock tease move! Claire…so ashamed. Leans in for a kiss and BOOM! Hey tell me about your family buddy…BLOCKED.

So they talk…and talk….and talk…..and talk some more…they get relaxed again – and Dumb n Dumber come barging in the room. In fact, I love these two. They are checking in on them to make sure they are bangin. But they aren’t and Jamie was sooooo close he gets pretty steamed!

You know we get commercials here in Canada eh? Well there is NO good place to put a commercial in a show like this one. They also take time to give us our “warnings” 6 times per show. I hope they realize these warning are more like invitations. It’s all about perspective.

In fact. We look FORWARD to all the things in their warnings.

They move into “bed time”. Jamie is so accommodating. You know offering to unwrap her n everything. It gets hot…so hot that I really think that I forgot to breathe in points – either that or I was holding my breath so I could pass out and go to dreamland. You know, Jamie lives there.

Alas – I gasp. Still alive but barely! They start the first go round. He still has his boots on – she is still wearing her stockings – it’s his first time ever and well…she starts off strong – so does he- but things happen sooooo fast. Too fast for Claire eh?

They have the exchange I loved in the book. I think EVERYONE was waiting for it and Sam & Cait played it sooooo perfectly. “Thought you must do it, the back way, like horses.” Nah…she won’t laugh…none of us will laugh!

O.K., the horse laughed but the horse is an arsehole.

We go through lots of emotions here. Jamie asks if she liked it and she gives him a look like….ummmmmm…She liked it fine I think, she just didn’t finish liking it is all. She gets flustered because she feels like she is some sort of turned on biagmist/adultress. Sorry Claire, even as the debate is waged online. I would stand up in the House of Commons and say “Claire is absolved! Her FLASHFRANK isn’t even alive yet.” Technicality sister!

Then she tries to escape into the tavern full of men because she was feeling uncomfortable. So SURE, head on into a room full of half drunk scots while you are dressed in nothin but your shift. For REAL this time. Erect-i-Nipp-i for all! Jamie knows what she is getting into so HE jumps in front and takes the heat for her. She scurried back into the room alone- probably went back in the room and rubbed one out- a girl has to finish! Probably why she got tense.

Jamie takes the heat, gets some food then has to deal with SideEye…seriously…Dougal, your jealous is hanging out! So glad for Rupert n Angus & their comic relief.

The next while of The Wedding episode has to be some of the most FRUSTRATING moments in TV …EVER. They get close…and then..Claire changes the subject…they get close….Claire changes the subject!

Sweet jeezus, I love the way they are doing this story but it’s making me just a lil crazy cray!

Each time we cut to the wedding planning, my heart skips a beat…I can’t get enough of the wedding night but want to see all the stuff leading up to it. I am like a teenage girl! I WANT IT ALL! NOW! There is no in between…its HYSTERIA. Plain and simple!

The emotion in the episode, the sticking to the book & the new pieces. I just am enveloped in all sorts of emotion.

Jamie gives Dougal 3 conditions to his marrying Claire. Can I tell you what this did to me? I felt like a fat kid stuffing their face with cake…could not get enough. I call moments like this…Triple THUD moments. You don’t stop with one…it’s the gift that keeps on giving.

First, must be married in a church…with a priest. That scene was fricken funny. SMOUT- close enough to trout, is quickly becoming one of my go to words. Thanks SideEye!

Second, sending the dynamic duo to get a key made into a ring. Some were VERRA upset by the new ring. It was NOT in the book…I am really not sure when people are going to get this through their purdy lil heads but THIS is NOT the BOOK. This is an adaptation…ad-apt-tation. Definition – the act of making suitable to requirements or conditions; adjust or modify fittingly. This means change. Change is not a bad thing, in fact, I think it has been a good thing. It keeps the story fresh for those of us who have been reading it for over 20 years. Everything good isn’t exactly how each individual person imagines it because well…yeah think about that. Ron Moore is the show runner, this means he has final say over each storyline, the direction things take…frankly…I think he has done a great job of it.

SIDETRACKED! Annnnnywhooooo, Rupert & Angus are a couple of the funniest wedding planners ever. They act like an old married couple, which I adore.They head to the local Canadian Tire to get their key cut. I just want to say they got WAY faster service than I did the last time.

Last condition was up to Ned. He had to get a dress…Hmmmm…where oh where does one get a fancy dress for a beautiful bride? RIGHT! First place I thought too. HoooooooorHouse! The tale that went along with it was a delightful one. You can imagine the Lord in question. “Super super randy here ladies but I lost all my money at dice but I know how a hoooooor loves to play dress up and I have this one of a kind gown thats for my…ummmm…wife but since SHE isn’t here…I have to put it somewhere!” Take your pick as to what I am referring to. Of course, Ned couldn’t leave without putting his own somewhere. That would just be a waste for him…one for you (Jamie/gown), one for me (hooooooor young enough to be your grandbaby…old pervy Ned)

NOW…its the recap of the recap of The Wedding. THAT man is BEAUTIFUL. He cleans up sooooo good.

So much aweSAM in this screencap

Of course, Claire – stunning. The dress…WOW, that dress. Apparently they had to rig up a golf cart to get the poor woman around and as beautiful as the dress was, Cait isn’t too keen on ever seeing it again. I must say though, girlfriend…you and the girls…LOOKED GREAT! People complained about how squished they were, how painful it must have been etc…as a holder of small boobies (my own…not my neighbours), you can squish these suckers into next week and if I look stacked- I’d deal.

The did the blood vow. Listening to them recite those lines…Blood of my blood…there is just so much a girl can take you know.

About THAT much

Oh, maybe I blew up too soon…Premature Explosion. They are back in the room & Jamies buttery tongue has gotten Claire all twisted up. She tells him to get NEKKID!

WOW. WOW. & WOW.

Watching the way their relationship unfolded here was INCREDIBLE. Exploring and learning one another…Claire teaching Jamie the joys of oral sex. You know…you imagine that face for 20 yrs & all of a sudden…there it is. In all is O-having glory. I think that I probably caused myself permanent eye damage for not blinking the whole damn scene. Anyone wanna share their Visine w me? I look like I’ve been smokin a dube. Red irritated eyes.

Then…what does the man do? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Typical. What WAS nice to see was the lil smile that crossed Jamie’s face as he did it. NOT so typical and why I know Sam was born to play this roll.

Claire heads down for a jug of water…she needs hydrating and well…probably has some lingering aftertaste she wants to rinse from her mouth. (I didn’t see a spit bucket). She bumps into Dougal, who tried to invite her to go to Doucheville but he was DENIED! Rupert ends up getting a mouth full of Dougal (…HIS FIST…geez….come OUTTA the gutter.) because he made some bawdy comments about Claire & Jamie. It’s not like THAT’S his thing or anything. Sheesh SideEye…you are sooooome testy! Maybe you should go visit the hoooooorhouse or the stables.

Oh never mind…the gutter is fine…it’s quite comfortable in here.

They are back in the quiet of the room. Jamie wakes to see Claire sitting in the candle light, he is nekkid and gets out of bed…but WHOEVER does the lighting for this show obviously doesn’t realize we are in the DARK and can’t see his…feet. He reached into his sporran and pull out….

a pearl necklace. You are doing it wrong JAMMF. Oh come on…who DIDN’T think that? Oh…you…well maybe this isn’t the right blog for you then.

He starts talking about his Mom…how precious…he just needs to keep talking because that is what gets this girl going.

They make love. True. Sweet. Tender. Love.

SO crushed with the feels…so crushed.

Seriously some of the best scenes EVER.

Now…last scene puts us with Claire, alone in the room, happily getting ready for the day. Starts her workout by shaking out the dress and clink clink roll! Yup, the gold wedding ring from FLASHFRANK goes across the floor, reminding her and us of her other life.

Claire ends the show, starting at her hands where the two rings circle her ring fingers. One gold, one key…two eras, two lives…

What the girl needs now…is a DRINK!

See you next week for the mid season finale! Noooooooooooooooo

Heughliot @ large

AB-Ootlander Special. Outlander causes AbootyCalls.

October 4, 2014 by Sherry W.

Naturally, I can only speak for myself and the dozens – maybe hundreds of women I talk to about this on Twitter/FB and yes…in real life.

Yes. Outlander IS getting into the bedrooms across Canada. Some husbands know perfectly well why their wife is extra horny on a Sunday night. Some are just reaping the benefits. Neither complain.

Don’t SAY anything – it might not last!

I didn’t realize this was happening in my house until after The Garrison Commander episode aired. That episode left me DRAINED…so emotionally exhausted…I mean really…Jamie was torn to shreds. Quite literally, I felt like my guts got ripped out.

After the credits rolled, I felt a hand on my neck and my hubby leans in for a passionate moment. UMMMMM WTF dude! I just finished bawling my eyes out…WHAT are you doing? I urged back and gave him THE LOOK.

What the Hell dude!?

And what does he say to me? “HEY! It’s Sunday…you watched Outlander! I even watch WITH you…ummmm…YOU KNOW!?”

I didn’t KNOW…I had an idea of course…considering his hands were NOT on his inner thigh.

So…even though we have been together 26 yrs. and I know better than to ask questions that I have a “feeling” might turn out to make me look predictable…I asked. “Just WHAT am I supposed to know?”

“I get lucky Sunday! Ummm…I mean we usually do it…or you know, make love n stuff.” N’stuff. N’stuff. Yeah ok. He acts like it is once a week but I guess Sunday, its a “given”.

My argument – “Did you just SEE what happened tonight? I mean really…that was brutal! How can you think I would be in the mood?”

His argument – “You set a precedent”

Me- ” Precedent? What are you talking about”

Him – “You see Jamie, I get laid…that’s what! Why don’t you think I care if you watch it 4 times a week?”

Now he decides to give me a big huge smile. Trying to make me smile…yet…I’m still disturbed and a little put off.

Me- “Sure…I saw Jamie. I saw Jamie get his ass handed to him and beat within an inch of his life, bleeding all over the place!”

Him -“Hurmph! That shouldn’t matter. My sexlife should NOT be determined if James Fraser has a bad night.”

Me- “Are you KIDDING me right now?”

Him- “No…No…I’m not kidding. Watch the last part that you got all squeely with again will you?” Then he walks to the bathroom “I’m freshening up!”

I sat there dumbstruck…had I really done this? Set a precedent? Episode 1…yep…Episode 2…uh huh….Episode 3…oh…yeah…Episode 4…you BETCHA!…Episode 5…twice.

WELL SHIT! I HAD set a precedent. I had created a pavlov’s dog situation. We watch Outlander together…he knows what to expect. He doesn’t realize, for the last 20 yrs…those nights I put “the books” down and woke him up. Yeah…same thing but he wasn’t aware then. Just thankful.

I could NOT back out now…you know…The WEDDING is coming up! I am going to…you know….need him.

So…a girls gotta do…what a girls gotta do.

I know for a fact, I am NOT the only fangirl that has taken her addiction out on her partner. I’ve heard the stories. SO MANY STORIES!

I have a feeling we will have a booming year of Summer babies…not here tho! Got that housing unit demolished!

Heughliot at Large

ABOotlander – It’s a 2fer. Rent and The Garrison Commander.

September 30, 2014 by Sherry W.

Wouldn’t you know I had to go away while Rent was airing on Showcase the Sunday before last. Do you know what is cool about that? Teamwork! We ABOotlanders stick together like maple syrup on a 10 yr olds chin. Fellow admin and all-around fabulous human, Tammy @tlmfarmgirl took over our Twitter page. Girl is touched. I say that with all the love of a cousin sister a girl could.

Rent opens with the MOST beautiful scene we’ve had the pleasure to lay our eyes or ears on thus far (keep in mind, we haven’t seen Jamie’s ass). Claire recites a poem – John Dunne is credited with it – however – it has been said John Hoskins was the original writer. *shrug* That’s why I didn’t credit the quote…because I don’t know for sure. Maybe “I” wrote it?

beauty

We meet Ned right off the shoot. What a wonderful wee manny he is. Charming really. Jumped right out of the pages of Diana’s book and into my heart. The men are being juvenile wads and breaking in young Willie. Teasing him about doing it with his sister…you know, keep it in the family and all that. He doesn’t seem inclined to think they are funny.

Lawyer Ned, is a wheezy bugger but Claire cures him with some pot aka “thornapple”…good for the lungs apparently…worked like a dream on Wheezy McWheezerson.

We head off onto the road, but there is no road. The highlanders sing songs about grinding corn and I am 100% positive they aren’t talking about the vegetable, not our good ole Taber kind. Nope. Dirty dogs

The mental wee ones decide it is time to play a game of “No Girls Allowed!”

We can tell Claire tries to play along until they start hitting below the belt with rudedom and go ahead to start making jokes in Gaelic. Dammit…hard to laugh at what they are saying when you know damn well they are making fun of your ever expanding bum roll.

Angus thinks he is being generous by bringing her over an anorexic bunny to snack on but all their bullying ways have cost her to lose her appetite.

There were so many complaints going out in the Twitterverse and Outlander World in general about the lack of Jamie & Claire time. There is so much story building to be done, I felt that the time they did have – was poignant. The placement was well thought out. He comes to her the first time to make sure she doesn’t take the wankers bullying to heart. She pouts a bit and he tells her “Hey now…you’re the one that tried to run off. Only idijts would leave you to your own devices.” Claire knows what Jamie said is the truth so she and her bum-roll go for a stroll!

They set upon their first wee village to collect the rents n such. Taking goats, chickens, money and live pigs. Even though Ned didn’t want no stinkin pig! He got it anyway. We really should know better than to set ourselves up like that.

Claire gets bored and wanders away. NOT CLAIRE! She gets distracted by the singing coming from one of the shacks and lo n behold. Its a book club. No, its a pajama party. No, its a choir practice…Nope- its wool waulkers. Yes…they play in pee. You heard me right…not just any pee but hot out of the urethra pee!

Is anyone else seeing…ummm…smellin this? (source)

The scene itself is pretty cool…till you remember they are elbows deep in wool – wool covered in piss. I get itchy n gaggy just thinking about it.

There can NOT be an episode where our Claire does not get her drink on. No sir. This girl’s “check liver” light has yet to go on. Impressive. The ladies keep their booze stored where the men can’t find it. I am guessing so they don’t give THAT away for rent either. Smart bunch of piss slingers they are.

Just as Claire is about to make her donation to Piss Is Us...Angus comes barging in because he has been looking ALL OVER GODS CREATION for her. Yeah, she was 20 feet away but whatever. Road Angus is an angry Angus.

He clearly wanted to knock her out but Angus knew better. I think it’s clear this Sassenach could beat the shite out of him or at least turn him into a magpie. Drunk Claire causes ALL sorts of chaos, she tries to give back the goat money- fights with Rupert & Dougal when…DUN DUN DUN! An English gentleman comes out of the woodwork…like literally out of the woodshed to ask after her well being. He is convinced Claire is in trouble so this isn’t the last of him but he leaves all butt hurt. DUN DUN DUN – he then puts on that fancy redcoat of his.

This is where we sneak off to the tap houses where Dougal goes off on a Gaelic tangent. Claire thinks that he and Ned are pilfering money and using Jamie’s poor scarred back as clickbait. She is doing the bunny hop to each conclusion and coming up on the wrong side of the rabbit hole. Enraged Dougal+money+ English flogging victim = Funding the Jacobite rebellion, ye wee besom. Come on Claire…it was SO obvious. If you read the book of course. Much less obvious for everyone else…I got ya.

We go through numerous stages of her assumptions. Ned plays into her hands like a parent trying to teach their child a lesson. She even makes Angus so mad he pulls a knife on her. Call HIM a thief will she? (Raiding the Grants for cattle doesn’t count because they do that for shiggles) Jamie once again tries to give her crazy curly head a shake. Claire knows he is right but she still gets twisted into knots. She doesn’t GET what is happening so we shouldn’t judge…Judging is bad bad news. Well unless your Judy…then it makes your ass rich.

Claire finally clues into what Dougal & Ned are up to. Raising funds for the Jacobite cause. We has a FLASHFRANK where she proved she knew just more than a little about the fate of the poor Scots that get involved. It gives me a serious case of the feels. I love Bear McCreary’s music here. He puts the title song in there when her little “idea bulb” goes off over her head. Well played, sirs!

Dougal n Jamie are bickering in the woods, Jamie telling him to stop ripping off his damn shirt already! Dougal calls him a sweet lad – but no, bro…as long as you are with me, I will show off your back all I like. You know Dougal McSideEye, as long as you show off his front at the same time – I do not object. Let that go on record eh?

Jamie is left on his own to beat wood. Hey hey now…he’s punching his timber…sex jokes are not funny! Cum on people.

Jamie and Claire have another moment of casual intimate eye sex. These are the moments that some of the more ummm “testy” fans seem to forget or think just aren’t enough for them. They want the Jamie & Claire Secks Show…well folks, hate to break it you but even in the books there is more to the story. I will likely die on this here hill… it’s the TV show. TV shows need adaptation, even 16 hours is not enough to fit each conversation, each glance, each roll in the heather or each thing you think needs fitting. Ever try and put a marshmellow in a keyhole…yeah, like that.

I digressed! *GASP*

The next day, Claire is all “Bloody hell, I really like these guys and they all are gonna die in this stupid war that is going to come and wipe them out!” They pass a couple of poor Scots nailed on X’s and now Dougal has something else to enrage the folks in town about. Stinking Sassenachs…but not you Claire…you don’t stink. On the other hand, she hasn’t had a shower in a while – she probably stinks a bit.

Bedding down in the inn and Claire hears a ruckus in the hall. What does she find lounging outside her door? A lovely little highland lump of manly goodness under his plaid at her doorway. *COLLECTIVE SIGH* WHY was he there? There were a bunch of drunks (she knows drunks) downstairs and he didn’t want them buggering her.

It was a sweet wonderful from the book moment…with lots n lots of

I would have forced the wee bugger into my room…but I’m a hoooor like that.

We know our Claire, she can’t keep her mouth shut worth a damn so the next morning while having a nibble with Ned she just has to talk about how this cause they are fighting for is already lost. They think you are an English spy dork…STOP YAMMERING. Off to the side, some loud mouth is obviously saying things Claire can’t understand but the rest of the Highlanders do (but not Jamie…he is out feeding the damn horses).

AAAAAAND

OK…highlanders beating the crap outta other highlanders is super hot. They need THAT done in a ring. *Growl* We all come to discover that the rent collectors were fighting over Claire’s honour. THEY can call her a hooor & smelly Sassenach but no one else can byjeezus. Claire. Is. Speechless. Someone take a picture!

Our episode ends with more feels from Claire. These guys really caught her heart – they go and take a walk through Culloden Moore. We get a FLASHFRANK here. She walked the same walk before. This time, seeing the faces of those who may very well die there, 3 yrs from this moment.

Dougal lets her go wash up without her bodyguards…only to follow her and question who she is – AGAIN. THEN…THEN…Remember the wee english boy redcoat dude? He’s baaaack and he brought his friends. They want to know if Claire is there by her own free will or being held captive.

Oh! What’s she gonna say? HUH?

And such this is why I am doing a 2fer, you don’t have to wait to find out what happens. Even though, let’s face it, I know most of you probably have. I’m not living in a bubble of ignorance – I’m Canadian. Two different things.

The ending of Rent was the first of what I am sure will be many cliffhangery (It’s my word, put a cork in it) endings. Yes, even though this particular scene wasn’t in the book, we know she goes back w the English but it’s the suspense of the how that makes this fun. This is WHY I love an adaptation. They are taking something I love. Know inside out, backwards, upside down and they are making it new for me but they are giving me glimpses of the things I love. Book moments shining through. All readers are different and some book moments mean SO much to one, the other just glazed over it. I read blogs or posts on “How could they LEAVE that part?”- sometimes the part to me wasn’t as epic as they might think Or “They totally lost the essence of that scene doing it that way” whereas others might think the TV adaptation makes total sense. Each person comes from their own perspective, I respect that. Those who live from a critical eye perspective should also respect that I AM LOVING THE SHIT OUTTA THIS.

Meh, I’m Canadian not opinion-less

Now we move onto Episode 6. The Garrison. The Episode that if awards were given out for sheer brilliance in acting – we would have a sweep! Oh wait, there are – I smell EMMY…she smells nothing like bacon but whateves.

My views & commentary on this episode are pretty much. Ummmmm. It’s not the easiest episode to watch, yet…it is one of the hardest to tear your eyes from. You know what they say about train wrecks. Yeah. Like that only with really amazing beautifully talented people acting like the trains.

We open with Claire thanking the redcoat very much but the McKenzies are her friends. Get along. He however thinks…NAH…my boss hasn’t seen a woman in like forever. He figures if he only gets a good look at one, he will keep his hands off my hairy arse. At least that was my husbands inner/outer dialogue once he met Lord FancyPants. (Again, his name…though I liked it enough to use it)

Yes, Lord Fancypants is definitely NOT trying to make any friends. Dougal calls him a smout, I am prone to agree with him. I found this scene pretty fun. You could see despite Claire being back with her “people” she was feeling a disconnect. I thought Dougal’s side-eye was going to go straight back to his brain. BOY…He does that just as good as any Mom out there.Dougal’s almost ready to gut someone after being made fun of for both his speech and dress. Claire tells them all to behave themselves – children! PSH! Dougal tells them to eat their scraps, he’s off to drink some REAL beer. See?! This is why Dougal drives ME to drink (I will use any excuse handy – Dougal is todays) One day he is calling you out as a drunk in public, next he defending you and whispering in your ear…MAN! Stop with the dual faces. No wait…don’t stop…I love when you drive me crazy(er).

Plus…Lord Fancypants couldn’t see past the boner in his pants to know what EVERYONE else in the world knew. Claire is a liar liar pants on fire. Yes! I know she couldn’t tell them the truth but the whole glass face thing…so on it! Claire feels safe, her story bought and like she will be heading back. BADABINGBADABOOM…Claire does what Claire does, she says “In that case, I will have more wine!” Aw, who are you kidding Claire? You would have had more if they said no.

Wouldn’t you know that as soon as she feels comfortable…the burlap sack dress of men comes waltzing in getting dust n boogers all over everyone’s wine. BJR is baaaaaaack!

No matter how good Sam and Cait are at the Eye Sex- Tobias is pretty much master of his own domain when it comes to Eye Wars…and starting them. Cait is a bloody good match. That first scene with them in TGC, they didn’t need words. They kept shooting the daggers with their eyes. Well played!

aaaaaand, what has the problem with Claire been? She likes to talk. She is a woman of the 20th century- and one that isn’t to be trifled with. BJR threw out the bait – and we watch.

*sigh* It never fails. Claire gets herself into hot water by opening her big ole mouth and BJR is all GOTCHA! I betcha he wishes he had an Easy button from Staples right about now. He’d be pushin that damn thing all over the place!

We take a quick break so EVERYONE can leave the dining area upstairs and Claire can help hack off an arm. All while people are sitting there having a beer. Some poor sot is laying on the table with his flesh n bone hanging all over. The surgeon takes out his icky dirty saw and starts well…sawing.

I can see the review on YELP right now

Back upstairs Claire goes, fully expecting to be back with the people who are sending her to where she wants to go. Nope. Instead, we are greeted with a shave. BJR getting one that is, by Shakey MacShakerson. Who doesn’t want him to just slip across that jugular and be done with it? Anyway, he gets nicked then makes the poor kid sit down…scares the piss outta him. That is what BJR does best.

Let the games begin, he sends Shakey on his way and is alone with Claire. Apologizing for his previous behaviour and all that. Let’s see…baiting again BJR? You aren’t transparent. He doesn’t buy any of what Claire is selling and things get ugly.

He goes from “let’s work together” to “I know you are a lying traitor” in a SNAP. We shall now refer to this as the room of doom.

Captain Creep Master General or CCMG for short if your nasty

Captain Creep Master General or CCMG for short if you’re nasty

He starts talking about Jamie’s flogging. In graphic detail. In morbid graphic detail. It’s like I can see it and hear it. Oh, wait…I can. It’s horrifying. This degenerate is loving it, feeling a deep connection with Jamie…or “the boy” as he called him. I know why he didn’t get up during this story. *shudder*

Yep, he is in a class of his own. He lives in CreepyTown and I don’t even want to talk about the flogging scene except to say. Sam is incredible. Tobias is a master and Cait- your face said what my heart, felt.

If you didn’t know (how couldn’t you…but if you didn’t) this is Jamie’s daddy…Brian…he was there. Watching…and us book readers know. Yeah. *sniff* We know.

The sick sunnuvabitch keeps talking about the flogging like it was some sort of school art project that he aced. Can you say CRAZY MOFO?

Claire believes if she keeps talking to him that she will may find a sliver of Frank she sees. Wishing against all hope…that FLASHFRANK is in there somewhere.

Yeah…he is NOT there and she knows it right about NOW…

Jack can’t be the one having all the fun beating on Claire, he invites his little friend in. Who BTW looks horrified but would rather kick a soft n squishy Claire than be punished himself by the sadistic bastard. He is just really hoping no one tells his mom!

….DUN DUN NA NUN! Super Side Eye Dougal to the rescue! He’s all like “Stop beating on her…she is OUR prison….ahem…guest, we are protecting her…I will start a friggen war with you. Today. I’m taking her!”

Looking more smarmy than even BJR let’s her go but says they need her back the next day, cuz he isn’t done with his squishy pinata.

They ride off to a beautiful Scottish backdrop, that apparently smells like the devil but Claire pops a squat and drinks anyway. Where Dougal asks again – Are you a spy? Claire has had it “FFS Man! I’m just me…not a spy, not a hoooooor, not the bakers daughter…JUST Claire.” Naturally, if she added that she was from the future – he’d have to believe her because they were at the LIAR’S spring – but she didn’t know that and I bet she was all “DAMN! I could have told him the truth and he would have HAD to believe me.” Annnnnnyway. He believes her. “No help for it. We need to turn you into a Scot and the only way to do that is for you to marry one.”

Her reaction was -HELL TO THE NO! Realizing she would be at BJR’s mercy again, the thought of marriage became the lesser of two evils. Dougal let her know it wouldn’t be him to marry her…even though…yes…he wanted to grind her corn?! Thats a helluva a pickup line eh?

Who is it gonna be boys? Rupert? Angus? Nedy? Nah….we all know. Jamie *girly sigh noise*.

Claire takes a drink from him willingly (Did NOT see that coming *snort*) and they have a little prewedding chat. “My cherry…been popped, so gone…that cool with you Jamie?” “SURE!”, he says “You can break mine for me – Hows that sound?”

Another glorious line lip delivered brilliantly by Heughan. I take these little nuggets and savour them!

Claire marches off…gets herself hammered. Again.

I just have to add…I love the look on Murtagh’s face when she goes through all of them. Sly devil. Jamie looks like *shrug* She’ll come around right and Murtagh is like OH…she will…and that’s one angry bum-roll!

On that note. I am away! Next week is the WEDDING. It’s a HOT one. Get out the fire extinguishers and maybe drop down a towel for the drool – et al. One of our ABOotlanderhusbands tweeted Depends, asking if their product was strong enough to protect his couch while his wife watched the episode. Funny crew we have.

Until next time folks! The Wedding will get its OWN attention. I have LOTS of passing out GIFs to play with.

Sher

ABOotlanders w/Sherry

Proudly Canadian Outlander FanGroup based in Alberta

Category Archives: Books

10 times! You pricked my what with your what?

I reckon The Reckoning was JUST what the doctor ordered. Dr. Jekyll that is

Wow & wow. This episode pulled out all the stops & it seems to have split the fandom- which seems a little nutty to me.

The Reckoning was all I could have hoped for – and even more. It was from Jamie’s POV. BRILLIANT. Well played Mr. Moore n company. WELL PLAYED!

Scaling walls with very iffy ropes! I mean come on Jamie, ya gave that thing a tug…it HARDLY seemed stable but SURE…we’ll go down it and take the chance of rope burning your balls to charred bits.

Blowing up barrels o’ pitch & beating the hell out of redcoats with muskets…and bashing that smug nasty sunnuva whoseit face off the desk. Now that’s entertainment folks!

DUH!

I keep hearing on the interwebs “That didn’t happen in the books.” “They left that out” and sadly it’s usually attached to a tirade of whining.

Forgiven. Well…for that lil transgression anyway. Claire isn’t really prepared for part 2.

The highlanders play “ignore the Sassenach”. Not even looking at her- acknowledging her existence in anyway. Dammit…just when she got in good with them – and ummmm…they did just save her life. Whateves…sigh

Back at Castle Leoch you would think from the reception things would be awesome. Seriously, everyone needs a Mistress Fitzgibbons in their corner…don’t they? What a cheering section!

Have that follow you around all day. Make someone feel like a million guineas. I have to say…Colum really turned out to be a fun sucker though. You want a party pooper? Invite old TwisteyLegs McTwisterson to the festivities. He’ll do it quick like.

Remember, Jamie hasn’t read the books. All I can picture is fans all over the world screaming at poor Jamie…READ THE BOOK! You are supposed to be perfect you regular piece of shit human! snort

If you are going to break a steely girl heart, a good way to do it is pull out your dirk…and swear your loyalty to her.

Making our way to the last dramatic GASP.

A very Merry UN-Birthday to the Reason Outlander LIVES!

Can Outlander change Mr. Canoehead into a kilted warrior? Well a girl can dream!

Canada Dry…not the pop- the time between Outlander Episodes 8 & 9. ORIGINAL

AB-Ootlander. This Canadian group needed a Mascot. MEET TOGER!

AB-Ootlander. Canadians melt into puddles over Episode 7. The Wedding.

AB-Ootlander Special. Outlander causes AbootyCalls.

ABOotlander – It’s a 2fer. Rent and The Garrison Commander.

Wow & wow. This episode pulled out all the stops & it seems to have split the fandom- which seems a little nutty to me.

The Reckoning was all I could have hoped for – and even more. It was from Jamie’s POV. BRILLIANT. Well played Mr. Moore n company. WELL PLAYED!

Scaling walls with very iffy ropes! I mean come on Jamie, ya gave that thing a tug…it HARDLY seemed stable but SURE…we’ll go down it and take the chance of rope burning your balls to charred bits.

Blowing up barrels o’ pitch & beating the hell out of redcoats with muskets…and bashing that smug nasty sunnuva whoseit face off the desk. Now that’s entertainment folks!

DUH!

I keep hearing on the interwebs “That didn’t happen in the books.” “They left that out” and sadly it’s usually attached to a tirade of whining.

Forgiven. Well…for that lil transgression anyway. Claire isn’t really prepared for part 2.

The highlanders play “ignore the Sassenach”. Not even looking at her- acknowledging her existence in anyway. Dammit…just when she got in good with them – and ummmm…they did just save her life. Whateves…*sigh*

Back at Castle Leoch you would think from the reception things would be awesome. Seriously, everyone needs a Mistress Fitzgibbons in their corner…don’t they? What a cheering section!

Have that follow you around all day. Make someone feel like a million guineas. I have to say…Colum really turned out to be a fun sucker though. You want a party pooper? Invite old TwisteyLegs McTwisterson to the festivities. He’ll do it quick like.

Remember, Jamie hasn’t read the books. All I can picture is fans all over the world screaming at poor Jamie…READ THE BOOK! You are supposed to be perfect you regular piece of shit human! *snort*

If you are going to break a steely girl heart, a good way to do it is pull out your dirk…and swear your loyalty to her.

Making our way to the last dramatic *GASP*.

The highlanders play “ignore the Sassenach”. Not even looking at her- acknowledging her existence in anyway. Dammit…just when she got in good with them – and ummmm…they did just save her life. Whateves…sigh

Remember, Jamie hasn’t read the books. All I can picture is fans all over the world screaming at poor Jamie…READ THE BOOK! You are supposed to be perfect you regular piece of shit human! snort

Making our way to the last dramatic GASP.