The bonds that make us. When I went Down the Rabbit Hole Ep 07 #Outlander

Hard to believe we are over halfway through season 4.  There have been so many heated, well thought out and random discussions in the fandom and then here I am…picking something out of the blue to yammer on about.

I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. For the surprise appearances and how they made me feel. There were a lot of those…feels.

I believe, like the characters in this episode showed us, the bonds created in our life help form who we become. They are huge contributors to developing our personalities and how we relate to others.  Genetics is one thing but the influence of those we surround ourselves with and the interactions we end up having with those people is a large part of who we become.

We see a great deal of Brianna’s past in this episode. Not just in the literal past, but her past. The relationship she had with her father, Frank.  Which I think most daughters can say, good or bad, help form who they become as women.  That relationship will establish how deeply we trust, our loyalties and most important of all be a major contributor to the confidence we have (or don’t have).  The father figure etches parts of us that we can’t recarve.  It’s there.  We can sand it back down but it takes work and it whittles away at the way it was.  Brianna was blessed to have a beautiful experience and positive relationship with the father who raised her.

This episode showed us, it doesn’t matter what we may think about Frank. Our opinion, our view of him, won’t ever be a reflection of Brianna’s experience.  She was ‘Daddy’s Little Girl’ and even though that comes with its own set of challenges, Brianna has a deep love for her Daddy.  She, of course, wants to be independent and strong, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t want his validation.  Naturally, Claire’s determination and willfulness comes out in Bree and Frank handles it with a gentle hand, more so than he did with Claire. That in itself shows the care he had for Brianna and why she saw him the way she did.

Brianna continued to seek Franks approval. Even after he died.  Apologizing for arguing with him, not telling him she loved him, wishing she agreed to go with him to England and finally by promising him to “Soldier On”.  Taking his final words to her and using them to fuel her journey to her mother.  Seeing him on the dock at the end of the episode wasn’t simply a farewell. It was a moment of this is your time and bless and release. I saw this as the moment that Brianna finally understood what her father meant when he told her one day she would understand. She got it and knew it was time to go, head held high, with purpose, determination and her father with her.

Frank will never leave Brianna because he lives in her. He helped shape who she is, what she will accept in life, how she will trust, who she will be loyal to and how she will process and form new relationships. He is a part of her every day without being a physical part of her journey. It’s something people should get used to.

I think Brianna’s grief over the loss of her parental bonds speaks very loudly in the person we see now.  She is not broken…but there are cracks in the armour. Cracks she has to build walls around in order to feel safe.  It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love or feel. It means she protects herself from pain. She puts the feelings aside, in order to meet the task ahead, it seems to me that is what is keeping her upright. For now. Kudos to Sophie Skelton this episode. She did a fantastic job spanning all those years.

There is another bond here that I found immensely interesting.  It involves Laoghaire. Brilliantly portrayed by Nell Hudson.  I know this because I really really do not like this woman, seeing her makes me make that face you make when you bite into something when you think its something else. Go ahead…take a moment to boo and hiss!

You done?

Cool.

I don’t think we were shown “another side” of Laoghaire as much as we were shown her normal every day as a mother. She picked up a stranger off the road that was in distress, she fed, kept her comfortable, shared stories of her daughter and her life with her. All very motherly stuff. However, the ultimate defect in her character was compounded by the severed bond she had with Jamie. Just as solid and tender bonds help form who we become, so do the broken ones. Very often, the broken ones are the ones that create the traits we are less proud of and likely show less often.

We ALL know people that are lovely, wonderful people. They treat most others with kindness, they love their children and would do absolutely anything for them. But. They have “that person”.  That person they despise.  If that person’s name is mentioned…that lovely wonderful human turns into someone you never would have expected. The car keying, punch throwing, gossip spreading devil! Horns, spit, fire…they go off the deep end to get an ounce of satisfaction in hurting the person that has done them wrong.

Am I sticking up for Laoghaire? Oh hell no!  Am I saying Laoghaire reminds me of Karen down the street whose ex-husband married Rita? You betcha! Karen can be a real piece of work.  Laoghaire takes shit to level 98, mostly because it’s TV and going to a level 5 just isn’t worthy of our visceral hate of her.

You know who else demonstrated a bond in this episode? Roger. Richly played by Richard Rankin.

Roger, a man who chose to leave his own time for a woman he loves. Roger, who lost his own mother as a young boy. Roger who so innocently told a child there was no such a thing as a sea monster and later on – the young girl was thrown overboard by one.

For a man like Roger, the horror of seeing suffering doesn’t break him, it does, embolden him. Roger, quickly formed a connection with a young mother aboard a ship full of strangers. Putting him in the position of protector, Roger takes risks he knows he shouldn’t but follows his morals above all else. He was determined to keep Morag and her child safe from certain death. The child’s teething rash was likely to be mistaken for smallpox and they would face the same fate as the others, tossed overboard.  Roger actions were selfless and swift.  Some may question his motives but I think it was simply Roger’s need to feel like he was doing something with all the chaos going on around him. This relationship with Morag and her son grounds him to the goodness he has inside. That goodness nearly cost him his life.

You could see when he thought Bonnet meant to gamble Morag and the child’s life with a coin toss that he was horrified. Yet when it was his own life, he was scared, but he seemed resigned to it.  As if, this was more acceptable to him.

Rogers word is his bond.  He does not give it lightly but when he does, he will stake his life on it. Which means for the next 6 episodes, we are in for a damn interesting ride.

 

Sher (ABOotlander Founder)

Don’t forget to join us ABOotlanders on Twitter while we live tweet while we watch on W Network Sundays at 8PM MST. We use the hashtag #OutlanderCAN and each weeks episode hashtag from Starz. We look forward to you joining us and our friends at Fancity, (who are also celebrating #FANMAS! Check them out)

 

 

Hidden messages. Blood Of My Blood S04E06 #Outlander thoughts and stuff.

We have experienced yet another powerful episode of Outlander. There are discussions abounding all over social media about changes, wigs, performances and what is to come. I love reading about them all (mostly). I thought about what I would write this week and had a few different things run through the old jellified grey matter.

There were many times in this episode where our characters would say one thing and mean another. There would be a different intention behind the actions they were demonstrating. It really is something we all do though. Sometimes, we do it intentionally, to prove a point. Often we do it subtly, that way we can claim it isn’t what we meant if someone calls us out. Maybe it is just a way to protect the feelings of someone we are with.

In Blood Of My Blood, we can observe many instances of hidden messages being sent our characters way.

Claire’s moments are so well hidden, we barely see them. Mostly because they aren’t present in front of the person they are for. The conflict she has in this episode is 100% focused on Lord John. We have jealousy and annoyance for sure and she doesn’t hide it from John, at all. However, around Jamie, she holds onto it tightly. In fact, she encourages Jamie to spend time with LJG, she actively listens while he shares memories of Willie. She wants him to tell her the stories of the time they spent together. Her love for Jamie has reached a point that his happiness is paramount yet there is that streak of jealousy of knowing someone else is in love with her partner. I don’t think that is a fault either, not many people would take that lightly.

Speaking of that someone else – the super handsome, dignified and yumtastic specimen, Lord John Grey.  The way he watches Jamie cutting wood (sounds suggestive but alas, it’s just wood- hmmm still suggestive) shows that he still has that glow of admiration, in his heart. No, it’s love…he loves him and it shows.  Yet, when Jamie asks what he is doing there, the answer is because Jamie painted such a beautiful picture of his land, LJG just had to see it for himself. Uh-huh.

LJG feeds another story to Claire about why he has come to the Ridge. Naturally, Claire is pretty perceptive and she called him out on it. She knows he came to see Jamie, full stop.  He admits that it is true, sometime later. He says he wanted to know if he could still “feel”.  I think we all know John was quite sure he could feel. He likely wanted to be reminded of how much he could feel. To be reassured of the depth of his emotions. It is my guess that Isobel’s death reminded him of how disconnected he was.  There was likely guilt there and yes, as he admitted, shame.  What better way to drown all of that away than to flood it with love?

LJG tells Claire she is devastatingly straightforward and she claims she can’t help it, she was born that way.  As she turns her back, he whispers with a tear streaming down his cheek “So was I.”  He isn’t speaking of being straightforward, he is speaking of being born loving who he loves.  This scene defies centuries. It is before its time and it is beautiful. It contains that hidden message that people today still need to hear.                                                 Capture3

Lord John gives Jamie his chess set as he leaves. Claiming it would please him to think of Jamie having a game now and then.  I believe this is a very pointed way for John to be sure that Jamie is reminded of him each time he takes the chess set out.

Murtagh had his own moments in this episode but he really isn’t one to shrug away from the truth is he?  His comments are much more angled towards getting his point across without saying exactly what he wants to say.  Not passive aggressive but cuttingly contentiousness. Even with his direct comments about Gov. Tryon and eating rats, it was obvious that Murtagh was still holding back.  It certainly makes you wonder just what he would say if he wasn’t. Say…not do. We have seen he will chop off your damn head if he wanted to. I am talking about if he were to put that particular energy into actual words.

Murtagh is not one to be trifled with and LJG got his dander up and hard. He doesn’t have the benefit of the, let’s face it, unlikely friendship between LJG and Jamie. He can’t quite figure out what the hell is happening here until he gets Jamie alone for a moment.  His sleuthing pays off quickly when he deciphers the clue of pain in Jamie’s eyes at the question “And how does that make the lad YOUR responsibility?”  Murtagh knew at that moment Willie was Jamie’s son. Which spoke to something else. Jamie had a son he didn’t know about. A son in which he trusted this English red coat to raise as his own. A very big bitter pill for his godfather to swallow. Some secrets cause us to grow closer, others, not so much.

I am surprised Jamie’s tongue didn’t split straight down the middle during this episode. He said SO many things while clearly feeling otherwise. To start, “Best he doesna remember” in regards to Willie not remembering the groom he knew as Mac.  You can see in his eyes and his stance he wants nothing more than to be remembered by him.

When LJG introduced William to Jamie you can feel the emotions running through him. The tension as he steels himself in the hope the boy will run to him and when he doesn’t – a Claire quote from Dragonfly in Amber comes to my mind – “I stood still, vision blurring, and in that moment, I heard my heart break. It was a small, clean sound, like the snapping of a flower’s stem.”

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However, a simple moment of Jamie calling to the horses in Gaelic does trigger Willie’s memory of the groom, Mac.  Which leads to the boy questioning him as to why he didn’t say they knew one another.  Jamie replied with an anticlimactic “I dinna ken”.  That was cool because William served him a dish of the same back when he told him he was too old for toys in regard to the wooden snake.  You don’t want to give it to me straight old man, well, let me tell you something. Chew on that.

It’s funny, not haha funny but hmmm funny.  When Willie and Jamie return to the cabin after their adventure, Lord John asks “I trust he was well behaved for you?”  Jamie completely omits the part where the little turd nearly got them both killed and plays the OH he was GREAT! Awesome time…you’re a great dad card.  That hidden message was for William. It was praising him for his bravery, it was giving them their own private moment to share.  Jamie did it for himself. A moment to be just theirs. Reminds me of all the times I babysat for little hellions and told the parents the same thing. I did it so I had something to hold over the little buggers heads for next time though.

William is a boy in pain. The loss of his mother, the fear for his father and the recently ripped off band-aid from when he was a small, Mac leaving him. He repeatedly uses his words to hide behind.  From the fly fishing moments to wanting to go home after having enough of rough living. William has a need to protect himself from further heartache and he uses the most useful tool he has in his arsenal. His words. Whether they are effective or not makes little difference, as long as he says them, it makes him feel some control and relief.

Willie asked Jamie quite plainly why he didn’t look back at him when he left Hellwater. This obviously is a very important moment in the child’s life. It is very likely the boy made up a few reasons why in his own head, not all of them good. Jamie let him know it wasn’t because he didn’t care but because he cared so much. Not wanting to give him a false hope that he would see him again because he truly thought they never would. You could see on Willie’s face this was the answer he hoped for.  In return, when Lord John and Willie leave Frasers Ridge we are gifted with a turn of a head. A message to Jamie that they will see one another again.

I won’t leave out the ring. The hidden message really isn’t so hidden I suppose. Although, I believe the deeper meaning was beautiful.  The ring is fashioned from a candlestick that belonged to Ellen, Jamie’s mother. Designed by Murtagh, Jamies godfather and someone who also cares deeply for Claire. As we know, a ring is something that is endless, just as love should be.

Jamie seems to have an affinity for giving Claire jewelry that has to do with his mother, while Claire is naked – so I am going to let YOU decide what that one means. *I’m laughing right now…you can’t see me or hear me but it’s really loud and snorty like*

On that note, I will leave you with a kiss. Or a thousand.

Sher (ABOotlander person)

Don’t forget to LiveTweet every Sunday with your Canadian friends as we watch at 8pm MST as Outlander airs on W Network, use the hashtag #OutlanderCAN to play along.

Join in celebrating #FANMAS put on by our friends at Fancity   They have great give aways for all your favourite fandoms – including of course your favourite, OUTLANDER! 

 

 

Serendipity. In this #Outlander world.

Today it was announced that Caitriona Balfe was once again nominated for a Golden Globe for her stellar performance of Claire Fraser.  This got me thinking of how lucky we are to have her in this role. My thoughts quickly turned into how all the pieces of this production have fallen into place at the perfect time for it to become what it is.

As far back as the ’90s, I recall talking to a friend about the idea of the Outlander book series being made into a television show. That was when there were only 3 or 4 books on the shelves.  Caitriona and Sam would have been teenagers around then, Ron D. Moore was in his Star Trek phase of life.

Diana Gabaldon, the creator of this universe we so happily devour, has spoken of the many times the books had been optioned but those offers never came to fruition.  In the end, Jim Kohlberg had the rights for over five years. It wasn’t until Ron D. Moore and his producing partner Maril Davis approached him with the idea of an epic TV drama, which started the ball rolling.  Both Ron and Maril visited Diana personally with their vision and let’s just say, the rest is now on TV screens around the globe for our viewing pleasure.

Imagine these pieces, all falling into place at the right time. Individual choices that happened to intersect by chance.

I sit back and think about this puzzle. I have a hard time wiggling my brain into believing they could have found a Tobias, Sophie, Caitriona, Sam, Richard, Duncan, Lotte, Nell, John, Graham, Cesar, Roman, Lauren…the list just goes on and on., at any other juncture at any other time. The secondary characters have also been absolute magic and it seems if one were off – the show may have tumbled like a Jenga tower. (Or more likely it would look absolutely nothing like it looks like now and maybe I have a pathetic imagination but I simply can’t picture it looking any better.) 

The writers, crew, sets, costumes and all of those involved in this production seem to have such a passion for this project it shows deep into the guts of it. When viewing the behind the scenes photos or videos, even when they are standing in the cold and gloom, there are smiles and laughter. The crew and production staff that take part in online chatter with fans do so with such a joyful heart, it is a nice reminder that when those creating something enjoy doing it, it makes it a worthwhile thing.dkrccftvaaavlpo

The cast seems to genuinely enjoy one another’s company. They do a lot of press, conventions, interviews and interactions on social media.  The truth is, they don’t have to.  Some media is expected from the studio, sure, authentic interaction is an entirely different thing. We have all seen cardboard interviews between costars before and the cast of Outlander is so far outside of that sphere. They truly make it fun to watch them together. The trust they have for one another is a pleasure to see.                                                      2b42001989373025b267d9028377fe12 tumblr_nb8ocdzp8p1tj014jo1_500

I mean, really…think about it. If Caitriona hadn’t decided she had her run with modelling and not gone back to her first love of acting, we wouldn’t have our Claire. How could that be a thing? Had Sam gotten any of those Game of Thrones roles he had tried for…he wouldn’t be our Jamie Fraser. It doesn’t make sense to me how we could have anyone else in these parts now.

It all leads to that one, beautiful thing my friends…serendipity.

May we have the honour of enjoying it for many more years.

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Sherry (ABOotlander Founder)

 

 

 

 

Emotional bridges. Looking back on Episode 5 of Outlander.

I need to start by saying my heart was overjoyed to see the rabbit. Just yeah, bring on the Bree-bunnies, I will have them all. That was an emotional bridge over all of the seasons that I was both surprised and thrilled by.

This episode of  Outlander gave me whiplash. That sensation of running back and forth across an emotional bridge.  One moment I was giddy with happiness and love the next, I hoofed it to the other end and was brought to tears.  Now look, I am, in fact, bipolar…this episode made me need a therapy session cuz I wasn’t sure if I forgot my meds or what!

The despondency of Roger in his poop toque (yes, I had to) walking away from Ms. Bairds is heartbreaking, yet in the next breath, we were given a wee bit of hope when hearing her call him back.  Then the letter brought us back down to earth – flat on our asses.

Claire as a healer, handing a new baby to her mother with kind and gentle hands was then switched to a mediator, showing incredible bravery in the face of ignorance. Ignorance which nearly caused bloodshed on a doorstep because a man refused to see the truth of a situation out of fear.

We felt the anticipation and pure joy of hearing Murtagh’s voice and again when he turned to face Jamie. We had to witness the confusion/pride and ultimately the heartbreak Jamie felt watching his godfather wax poetic about the injustices served, in the name of Tryon.

We became an audience to the magic Claire and Adawehi shared speaking of Bree being with her mother.  Only then to suffer the horror of Adawehi’s murder.

Brianna, though we didn’t see her much in this episode, tends to do the same as her mother.  Act first, think later. She found out about her mother and Jamie dying in the fire and boom…off she goes, caring about Roger but not truly thinking about how this might affect him. Maybe not really thinking how it might affect her in the long run.  Her heart leads her.  Honestly, I don’t blame her. It isn’t a fate I would leave my mother to either, though I think I would have had a conversation with the man I loved first. Granted, Brianna doesn’t seem to want to admit that she does love him yet.  I’m anxious to get to that part of the story – bring me some more #MacnCheese, please!

Personally, I think Roger has been putting his logic before his emotions. That’s what makes our world a cool place. People are different.  He thought it through quite thoroughly and came to the conclusion that Brianna was better off not knowing the whole truth. He just didn’t take into account, if the information was out there, she would be able to find it too.  I have this suspicious feeling, all of those emotions we see all over Roger’s face (damn, Richard Rankin is GOOD at that), are going to start leading him by the nose hairs and shit is going to go down. And go down hard.

Murtagh’s story is one I am so looking forward to because I have no fricken idea what it will look like.  I am convinced he had more dialogue in this one episode than he did in the entire 3 seasons prior. I adore his voice.  O.K., I’m distracted by the silver foxiness of Duncan Lacroix, it gets me stuck in this crazy circle of hummina hummina.  His emotions were at an all-time high this episode. Naturally.  He was reunited and it felt so good. He had a fire in his belly that had been re-ignited from injustice done in his past which are resurfacing in his present. He always was a protector of Jamie, now I believe he adjusted that to being the protector of a people. Of justice itself.  He did end up on Fraser’s Ridge after some thought, so I am very anxious to hear what that thought process was and what the plan will be.

 

This episode was filled with our characters joy and pain, such as life is.  Each time led by emotion, as we often are.  That isn’t a bad thing, however, if we took the time to truly think about things before we reacted to them, we can admit we would often do things differently.  I know I can think back to many times in my life that I wish I could stuff words back in my mouth…delete something I did. There are even those times I don’t say or do something and after I have time to think about it, I want to kick myself because I come up with all these brilliant things I COULD have said or done.

Until next time,

Sherry (Founder of the ABOotlanders)

P.S’s -Join us in live tweeting on Sundays while we watch Outlander on W Network using the hashtag #OutlanderCAN

Don’t forget to follow FanCity on Twitter and on YouTube… #FANMAS is running right now and there are tonnes of prizes from all your favourite fandoms – Yes, of course, Outlander is on the list!

 

 

 

Ghosts are everywhere. My Take on “The False Bride”. Outlander S04E03.

There is no shortage of drama this season is there?  The cool thing about having a blog in this fandom is I get to decide what I talk about. I have decided to challenge myself to NOT write about the obvious this season.

I want to look past the topic du jour and move to the things that made me go hmmm and maybe they will make you go hey…meh…or OH! Either way, I will have said it and hopefully, feel good about it when I am done.  That’s the point of my watching Outlander in the first place. It makes me feel good. I like it. My Mom used to say “If it doesn’t feel good…don’t do it.” I live by that.

So…ghosts. I’m not talking about Casper, the bent neck lady or the very obvious Native gentleman caller from the episode we are talking about.  I am referring to the ghosts in our life that either guide our decisions or keep us from moving forward out of fear of facing them.  They were ever present in The False Bride, whether we noticed them or not.

Right at the very start, Roger sitting in the old empty manse and Fiona coming through the doors to take up residence reminded us of Reverend Wakefield and Mrs. Graham. Both now, just memories, shadows in the halls but very much a part of who Fiona and Roger are today.  As we see later with Roger when he has his meltdown with Brianna.  He was raised by a Reverand. It makes more than a little sense that ghost still sits in his mind and when that is the case, it affects his heart as well. Those are the ghosts that often speak the loudest.

Claire sees her fair share of ghosts in this episode. Both literally and figuratively. To start, there is no doubt she is thinking of the ghost of her friend, Joe Abernathy. Black, free, a doctor…her dear friend. Someone she may have been judged for being friends with but still “allowed” to be friends with.  She watches as the slaves walk by and you can see it pains her because she has seen the other side of this story.  She knows the truth of the people she sees being treated ‘less than’. The pure inhumanity of it bubbles to the surface.

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Going from this kind of friendship…to where she is – is not something any of us should reconcile.

As they ride away from River Run, they leave the ghost of Rufus behind them. Their troubled time there.  They also leave the people they couldn’t help.  This is something that I am sure will continue to haunt Claire.

Claire confronts Franks ghost as well.  He will be ever present when she speaks of Brianna.  He was the only father her daughter had. He raised her and owns that space in her world.  As she speaks of Bree to Jamie, you can see both of them feel Franks ghost pass through the moment. Claire as a reserved embrace, and Jamie with a grateful chill.

Then, we have Claire’s literal ghost.  Good ole Claire takes off after Clarence the mule in a storm and ends up lost, alone and in the dark.

It’s ok though, she has company.  She finds a little head, ok, it’s a skull. One that has been cracked down the middle and removed from the rest of its body.  This particularly unlucky fellow decides to pay Claire a visit, in a jarring and pretty cool way.  He makes his way toward her during lightning strikes. Then what does he do? Dude steals her shoes.  He makes up for it by wearing them and leads her to Jamie and Jamie to her. Awwwwwwwwww.

This particular ghost is filled with more questions because his mouth is filled with silver fillings. Which clearly means he is a time traveller too.

Young Ian had a different group of ghosts he faced in this episode. The pirates not once, but twice. Geillis. The hurricane. That was a lot of trauma for a young kid.  He grew up PDQ (pretty damn quick). Those experiences formed who he’s now become, a young man who knows his mind.  Thankfully, the ghost of the child he was, will always be there for us. His smile and pure cheekiness each episode gives me hope anyway.

Jamie had his own ghosts, didn’t he?  When speaking to his aunt Jocasta, the ghost of the laird he would have been in Scotland lingered there. He knew what she didn’t though. River Run could never be that for him, some things cannot be recreated.

The ghost of Jamie’s mother was real and alive when his aunt gifted him Ellen’s silver candlesticks. Something tangible, he could touch and take with him to his new place, where ever that may be.

While visiting the ghosts of Scotland in his memories, he was able to see his future.  Looking out over the vista, Jamie fell in love with the land he saw before him because of the echoes of his past. The strawberries and the mountains all familiar to him yet, this new world made him feel hope.

I want to finish up with Brianna.  The Scottish festival was the first shiver of her ghosts coming to the forefront. Bree seemed to want to deny she was thinking about her mother but Roger knew it had to be there, raw and real.  The memory of her and the ramifications of her travelling through time to find Jamie. Those ghosts came to visit the festival that day, who could blame them? The music was bangin’.Screenshot (531)Bree is a young woman that knows what she doesn’t want.  That is very much because of her ghosts. One ghost is the father she grew up with. She now knows he lived in a marriage of convenience with her mother. Another is the ghost of a father that she never knew, he was the recipient of her mother’s love and devotion. Given the choice she was faced with in the episode tonight, those ghosts would have sat upon each shoulder like the good choice and bad choice. Each in her ear.

We all have our ghosts.  Whether we see them, hear them or feel them. They are there, influencing us and the choices we make. We should really trust our own voice rather than rely on the ghosts, but you know…to each their own.

Sometimes, those ghosts…they just make us run up the basement stairs really quick or check behind the shower curtain before peeing.  Either way…do you.

Remember to live tweet with us. Canadians watch along with W Network and use the hashtag #OutlanderCAN. We look forward to having you play along! If you love to win stuff and love to fan please follow our friends at FANCITY. They have a great worldwide Outlander giveaway coming up soon!

Sher

Founder of the ABOotlanders

The Effects of DroughtLander

Did I even know what that simple wee phrase “Droughtlander” would grow into the first time I used it in this meme all those years ago? That’s a hard no…droughtlander

I didn’t have a clue that everyone and their dog would be using it to describe the time between seasons of our favourite show Outlander.  I can thank Diana Gabaldon for posting that particular blog on her facebook page and sending it into Outlander history.  That link has since died because our group found our own identity as the ABOotlanders so you can read it HERE at its relocated addy.

The interesting thing about a drought is the impact it has on the environment around it. In the case of #Droughtlander…the impact largely falls on the fandom.

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Us ABOotlanders are a hearty bunch.  During Droughtlander we get by on help from our neighbours. We share our resources.  This includes talking about the days of all the Outlander, reading about the Outlander and how plentiful and fantastic the Outlander days were. Yes…and how we know that one day the Outlander will return.  We find it immensely therapeutic.

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Alas, there are the people who are crawling across the droughtlander fields gasping for breath, ridden with anxiety & depression because the Outlander hasn’t touched their lips for too long.  They can’t see the Outlander in the forecast & will do anything to make the oasis a reality in their everyday…except instead of embracing the good they are allowing the drought to blur their vision of the good it started as. Instead of remembering the things they love they are focusing on things like the bad taste the lack of Outlander has left in their mouth.

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Droughts cause migration…migration of people to other things.  This is normal…when the Outlander comes back – so will the people and so will more.  Some people might not come back and that’s o.k.  Making their life with another fascination or love.  That has nothing to do with the drought itself but the way they chose to deal with it,their choice isn’t wrong. It is what is best for them.

You know droughts also cause wildfires? All you have to do is take a peek behind the curtain of this fandom to see that.  The small flames of discontent are there but unless individuals fan those flames they will never catch & become a disaster. When a spark comes your way, put it out.  How do you do that? Don’t respond.  Don’t blow on it, don’t give it the air it needs to grow. Yes, it is that simple.

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Most droughts don’t have that surety of ending, ours does. Droughtlander never lasts forever but the things we say & do during the drought does.  If we seek out the cracks, we will fall through them.  If we seek out the light, we will feel the warmth.

Let’s do our very best to keep our faces to the sun. That means our heads are tipped back enjoying a bevvy. The true remedy for #Droughtlander.

amen

SherryLynn

ABOotlander Founder & Lover of all things happy!

 

 

Episode 16 In the Flesh -TRAMS- Tobias Really Ain’t Maiming Sam…really.

Who else is glad that is over? Raise your hand!

Me...me...me too...uh-huh...yup...us!

Me…me…me too…uh-huh…yup…us!

As much as we are not looking forward to #NaughtLander – I was perfectly fine with Episode 16 “To Ransom a Mans Soul” being one hour long, because the one hour felt like WAY longer. It made me feel like a virgin. You know what I mean. It was verra uncomfortable indeed.

“Got my tight pants on!”….Yeah…this is not comfortable for anyone. Really.

As per usual before I get into my blogburst, I like to tap into what I see as a bit o’ silliness that plagues the fandom. I found out recently that the likes of myself – you know the type. We, who enjoy the show for the show & the books for the books. Separately.  We, that do not believe the 2 should be compared nor interwoven specimens…because they are, ummm…not the same things. We are called *drumroll please* Kool-Aid Drinkers. Heehee…Kool-aid. Yeah.  Which makes this even funnier to me is –  those who who use this term may often be offended or dissuade others from using descriptions such as “pearl clutcher”, “poutlander” & any number of other equally insulting terms that will offend someone.  This term is deemed O.K. to use  even though it has a particularly ugly meaning behind it, because it was given its blessing from groups who feel everyone’s opinions matter, except those who think that it’s ok to love something for what it is and those  who express that they don’t believe being negative is a productive way to be & choose to say so. Kool-aid. Wanna sip? Tsk Tsk.

 I don’t particularly “like” Kool-aid but I DO think the Kool-aid man is cool as hell!  I also think if you embrace a term & own it, you take the power away others have given it. Soooooooooooooooo…

koolaid

This is the kinda kool-aid we are serving…come and have a glass! It happens to be sweetened with good intentions.  There is kindness instilled in it.  We only want the fans to see the best in what is happening with the series. It is, in fact separate from the books…this has been said from the VERY beginning. Whether you CHOOSE to hear the facts – well, this only affects our happiness with the process. No one has tried to fool or trick us into believing anything different.  When you lay back and relax…the bumps are way easier to take, you might even be able to enjoy them.

animals-as-humans-frog

We have fallen into the land of #WithoutLander.

#DroughtLander2.0 has started… there is #NaughtLander. As you can see – I can go on all effing day if I wanted to & I likely will come up with many many more before the jig is up in the fall of 2016.  Chances are, you will put up with my crap because, as fans, it is what we do.  We read what we love…AND we read what we hate. It is a CRAZY…oh wait…mentally hilarious phenomenon.  That WILL keep this world alive. Not destroy it like some say.

These blogbursts won’t stop because the series is on hiatus.  Honestly…I will just have to get more creative.

This might be the point you are afraid...

This might be the point – you become… afraid…

and you thought BJR was cuckoo for cocoa puffs. Me…trying to be creative. That might be a whole other bag of nuts folks. Mixed nuts. Big…ole…bag.

You know I am trying to avoid talking about something when I am 500 words in & haven’t started.  This is like having the sex talk with the sons but start talking about how they haven’t cleaned their room in the last week instead. Still ending up focusing on the balled up sock in the corner of the room. Yeah…yeah…yeah…I KNOW. I have to talk about it – but where’s their Dad…Can’t HE?

That’s a good idea actually. Hub’s watched episode 16 with me. Twice. Shockingly. We’ll go at it like that. Since you know I’m a gutterdweller – I shall sit down here but try not to be you know…too gross and or offensive. However, expect a few groans. Just…do.

We get the title credit again. Yeah…gutterslug I am…beads n oil. I know what is happening in this episode – I don’t even wanna know what that other thing is gonna be . Yup…I know I am going to hell – I might as well take the express bus. Move over- I know you are in the back seat, hiding…you wouldn’t be reading this blogburst if you weren’t there.

title

Then…then…drums, flutes, what sounds like recorders. Remember recorders guys? Elementary school…we all had to have recorders? Play 3 blind mice? We were so cool.

*eyeroll* Just like him. Really. 3 blind mice with the squeal at the end killed his Pirates of the Caribbean out of the water. Whatever.

Uh-huh...sure...show off.

Uh-huh…sure…show off.

Those english dudes at the prison, they were pretty in tune but the men at arms, my ex-Army hubby really wanted them to be more practiced. Sloppy, out of line…tsk tsk…just foolin’

I kinda wished we had more time to critique the english soldiers because yeah…we went right on into the deep dark dank dungeon cell of hell and torment which housed our hero Jamie. We immediately get a glimpse at his bloodied body & lifeless eyes. It causes some serious cognitive dissonance when you have that cheery drumming and recorder playing happening in the background & you have Jamie’s face – telling you this story. Then we pan…ugh…

Here's JACKIE!

Here’s JACKIE!

Never a reassuring thing.

Captain CreepMaster General is so supine it’s almost distracts you from the fact that he is completely naked AGAIN. Tobias has zero issues with his Aunt Gail seeing him in the all together. You know, I think he might think to himself “Hope Aunty Gail tunes in! That’d teach her for buying me that hideous sweater back in ’85”

Back to the soldiers & cheery loud tunes – I feel like I am being torn back n forth. Put me outta my misery!

just too much & we just started. This aint right.

just too much & we just started. This aint right.

Wait…was that me or Jamie asking. It was both of us.  CCMG owes him a debt & for a moment, it looks like he is going to pay up but SQUIRREL! Ole Captain hears a noise and curiosity done squishes the cat.

Much to Jamie’s horror. He leaves him in the cell to go check out what’s shaking in the halls. There is some crazy noises happening & he is far too nosey for his own good.

knock knockAnother one of those teachable moments right there. You hear noises you can’t explain. Might be best NOT to look. Dumbass. However, I liked seeing your face get stepped on, I didn’t literally see it, though I imagined it because I despise CCMG and that to me, happy thoughts!

Rupert, Angus & Murtagh…Team RAM (TRAM…Do we see a theme…cool huh?!) Scramble through the basement of the prison looking for Jamie & find him as the kine cause havoc in the halls & throughout the courtyard.  The music via Bear McCreary & the kine seriously did a wicked job of kicking the scene up a knotch here. The kine do NOT have a twitter account…I really am not sure what is going on, seems the crazy is slipping…sad.  Anywhoo…Team RAM played this scene with vigor!  I loved the determination to get Jamie out of there and it was clear to us how OUT OF IT Jamie was.

Seriously, Murtagh is like the scottish Apollo in that moment, Jamie wrapped in the plaid slung over his shoulder & him marching out the door like a boss!

so hot

I loved the wagon ride & escape. The chaos of that was happening at the prison with interchanges of Team RAM escaping with Jamie. Claire waiting in the road…ummmm…hunny…unpause it. Hunny…HUNNY! Sheesh. I think my husband really likes it when Claire wears breeches. Both times we watched, I got a view of this –

cait

Yup, gotta admit it. She’s got a cute bum. The joys of watching with the man of the house – equal opportunity in the admiration department.

Between her distress & impatience, the look on her face…no words are needed.  This woman sucks us straight into her anxiety. I was THISCLOSE to popping an ativan when we spotted Team RAM coming over the crest of the hill.  This was the episode that was like a Led Zeppelin song, a minute seems like a lifetime and you are having Tea for One. I’d look at the clock thinking it has to be almost over…and ummmm…no…52 more minutes left.

what year is it

We get a taste of the mashed potatoes that Jamie’s brains have been whipped into when he see’s Claire AS Black Jack…right there in his face. He wraps his good hand around her sweet delicate neck and squeezes  until Rupert & Murtagh get him off of her. He tells Claire “Dinna touch me”  – One more huge clue – this is not the Jamie we know. His mind has been sliced and diced like it’s been in a chop-o-matic.

He starts in on the Gaelic saying stuff like “Claire- you just morphed into Jackface! That’s wiggin me out!” (Really he said…Let me go die.) Murtagh was like “Hey Bro! Cut that shit out! She has a pretty neck…even if you don’t like it…we do!”  Jamie gets all snippy with him too. You gotta admit, he is probably pretty hangry about now and could use a snickers bar like nobodies business & snaps -in Gaelic- at Murtagh to mind his own damn business clag-tail face! (Really, he said something like “Put an end to my torment!” Which sounds way more logical however- clag-tail face- takes the edge off & sends you all on a google search so…) Murtagh’s had enough of this crap and tells him to shut the hell up, he’s not listening to this crap- they have places to go…people to do. (In fact, he said ” I won’t listen to this!”) Yeah…I was right-ish.

mwb

Back on the run they go with a wee but of chuffin’ from Rupert. That wagon ride must have been hellabouncey!

Same ride in today's vehicle...looks like a party

Same ride in today’s vehicle…looks like a party

We hear the bells of a church yard. We see a familiar face, it’s wee Willie. Good to see him again. He introduces us to Father Anselm. This is a character from the books, that has been adapted for the screen in such a lovely manner. As has the Abbey itself. It really doesn’t matter when it is all broken down.

Truth is they had to condense a ridiculous amount of the book into one hour & the adaptation isn’t really meant to please each book reader it is meant to convey a story to an audience – TRUTH-

Really hard to swallow innit?

Really hard to swallow innit?

Adaptations were made that didn’t  change plot lines but changed “things”. Brother to Father…not in the creepy way though. Anselm was a dream – reacting before she finished sentences & taking them in.

Brother Paul, the respect & dignity he showed Claire – the care he gave Jamie…I quite liked the bald headed lil monks they had poking about. The background players were extremely complimentary to the scenes.  Letting Claire know…dude’s body is in baaaaaad shape sister but his mind… a few french fries short of a happy meal & is gonna need some serious help.  Claire seems to know this but had more pressing matters at hand.

See what I did there?

Jamie’s moans & cries brought her back to the fact that maybe she did need to deal with this broken soul thing. She tries to talk to him, soothe him but nope…none of that. Sometimes we ask questions that we REALLY do not want the answers to but need them. This is what happens here…although Claire didn’t get her answer – WE did.  It was Flashbang #1. Everyone were calling them flashbacks…that’s too light of a word for me. These were far too traumatic & gutpunchy. FlashBANG…much more effective.

Yes I know this

Yes I know this “technically” is not a flashbang but I really love this gif…*snort*

Plus…this next part is icky and we have to talk about it.

We have the leisure of seeing good ole dead Marley. All covered in  *shudder* rats *shudder*.  Those narsty vermin are my kryptonite. Sorry..not sorry…I can not STAND effin rats…rodents..little tails swishing

barf

Too much narsty in one small vile thing….just….ewwww.

Digression. Yeah. Sorry. Jamie is still sitting, nailed to the table where Captain Creepy last left him – he is nearly passed out from pain it seems but has the presence of mind to make sure Claire has left the prison.  This just proves how twisted Captain Creepy is. He is so pleasant with Jamie. ” I give you my word, here, have a drink…let me make you more comfortable while I yank that bloody nail from your hand – it’s going to be a trifle uncomfy. Be over quick…just a pinch. Oh dear…you’ve puked all over the floor…that’s all right, I will cradle you gently in my arms like a young child and kiss you tenderly like a sweetheart I once had.. Know why? ‘Cause I am a nice guy. You can see that right? Nice guy…dingy nasty cell…hole in your hand…forcing my tongue in your mouth. Come on- play along! It’s all better now, we are going to have a lovely time, you only have to be receptive. Here laddie”

It’s moments like these you wish this mofo had the internet. Here…go to http://www.immasickbastardDOTcom and get rid of some of your twistyMctwisterson bullshit and leave poor Jamie outta it man!

Ah if we could only redirect the the  insanity!

Ah if we could only redirect the the insanity!

Ole CreepMaster goes in for a let’s say frenchier kiss & complains at the lack of enthusiasm that his partner is displaying – decides that some threats against Claire are in order.  Jamie makes it clear that he said he wouldn’t “resist”.He is NOT going to “participate”.  Probably not the best plan of action.  CreepMaster now had a point to prove & it was that Jamie, would participate, whether he liked it or not. At least his body would participate.

He lifted him up to a sitting position and showed Jamie…and all of us that – our bodies can have minds of their own. Physical response has little to do with emotional response when it comes to reflex.  I noticed in some of social media out there, a few women had a difficult time grasping this concept. Saying it made men seem weak minded, not in control. Ummmm WHAT THE HELL? Our bodies have reflexes…men & women alike – Let me advise. Men have external organs that are easier to get to. This also goes straight to victim shaming & I won’t play THAT game with anyone.

No  really....go...see ya...buh bye now.

No really….go…see ya…buh bye now.

Bodies can, will & often physically respond to sexual stimulation. CCMG took this as a sign that he was controlling Jamie’s body. Adding some words of graciousness you know “Only want you to like it.”  You could see how much Jamie was trying to fight his bodies response & was getting angry with himself for not being able too. Throwing it back at Creepy, tells him just get it over with already…he hawked a big ole loogie in Creepy’s face. Ya know – maybe not the greatest idea at the time because it really pissed him off.

Captain Creepy is still calm for a microsecond asking “You think I can not control the darkness I inhabit?” like…implying he can…but he completely loses his shit! Guess what you sadistic freakshow – there is NO controlling that darkness.  That darkness just went batshit crazy & Jamie was on the bottom of it. Quite literally.

Creepy proceeds to brutally rape Jamie – telling him to scream – well – that HURT. Physically…it HURT…emotionally it HURT…everything about that moment HURT. “I” screamed at my TV right along with Jamie. DAMN YOU Creepy…you rotten SOB.

I don't look like Stevie boy but I sure as hell sounded like him!

I don’t look like Stevie boy but I sure as hell sounded like him!

That was the portion of our show my hubby hid his face. He really didn’t like it. Nope.

Don't look!

Don’t. Like. This. Part.

FlashBANG over. None too soon either. Geez…Sam…whatever places you had to go…you went.  I have this inkling our Tobias – he has a bit of that steele in his veins. He comes up with some pretty sinister shit with the writers to add in. Fingers in mouths, licking backs, faces. On the Ira/Moore podcast he thought “Hey, let’s use dead Morley as a mattress.” Ummmmm…

That boy...he ain't right.

That boy…he ain’t right.

He goes places. In his head. Which makes his acting…that much more terrifying. I’m really glad Ira was like Ummmm Tobias – Richard really hasn’t done anything to you…rats are one thing dude…THAT…totally another. Let’s not. It doesn’t mean Tobias is freakydeaky…it means he is a thinker, he gets into his characters head & he can go to those places. I think it’s a study of how far can he go…they tell him when “Yeah…far enough.”

Sam, I am guessing, this…is an educated guess, seems an introvert. This exposure, quite literally, must have been exhausting for him. I have heard many words to describe his performance in this episode. Many I wholeheartedly agree with. The ones “I” choose – brave, raw & fascinating.  I know NOW what Diana was talking about when she said she looked forward to this.  As difficult as it is to watch someone you care about go through this…and I CARED…it was enthralling. Encompassing. Why?  Because HE made me CARE. Tobias made me CARE. Cait made me LOVE them together. They did that as ACTORS.

It's like way cooler than all this stuff thrown together in one GIF!
That is like, way cooler than all this stuff thrown together in one GIF!

We so often get all whipped up in the who did it better than – we forget they DO it together. We so often get so wrapped up in our favourites that we dismiss the beauty of how well they work as an ensemble & obviously love one another. (Now keep your heads on. Love means many different things to many different people) They wouldn’t be able to portray this so well without respecting one another.

Ooops I did it again. Sorry. Not Sorry.

Ooops I did it again. Sorry. Not Sorry.

There were words spoken prior to Claire setting Jamie’s hand. That’s it. They were spoken. Jamie was telling Claire – he didn’t care. He was trying to let her know in his way that he was lost from her & she…stubborn as he…wasn’t hearing him. She was focused on healing him. She knew…yes…he was broken. One of these things she KNEW how to fix. She had to deal with first.  I truly adore the way these two play off one another. They are a brilliant balance. They don’t even need the words sometimes. Frig knows…the makeup/prop department sure as hell killed it as far the whole business with fixing up Jamie’s hand went.

That looked pretty...gross...n...gross.
That looked pretty…gross…n…gross.

Sure …things have to look realistic. They did. Graphic even. Bones jutting out, skin being tugged at and sewn together. Hearing the bones scraping together, seeing the blood squishing. There are people who squirm ‘n gag at sights like that. There are folks who “ooooh & ahhhh”. There are even ones that sit on the edge of their seat & examine the scene for inconsistencies because they are in the medical profession. Whichever you are -I think we can agree, they did a friggen sweet job of it.

giphy

The voice over helped me through this scene.  Concentrating on her words made me not want to toss my cookies.  The way she wrapped it in that crazy contraption was SO cool looking. Rigged up & completely not like something ‘perfect’. So it was.  Primitive & barbaric. Like the wounds that were beneath the bandages.

Claire is sent to bed by Brother Paul- he will take care of him. She needs her rest. She leaves the room. Walking through the halls, she starts making some retching noises then goes ahead & pukes. Hubby pipes up & says. “She’s knocked up isn’t she…she’s been puking EVERYWHERE!”

Considering we read Outlander a few months ago for our #Bedtimestories, it’s not a shocker he thinks he is figuring something new out.

GOOD BOY

GOOD BOY

It’s always nice to be watching the show & have wee bits from the book pop in. For someone who does adore the books, it is like finding a $5.00 bill in the pocket of someone’s jeans when you are doing the wash (or so my hubby tells me). This added sweetness is Father Anselm & Claire’s moment in the chapel. It’s familiar yet still different. It is poignant & meaningful.  Claire essentially confesses all to him. Taking the chance that she may very well be sitting next to another Father Bain ~

However, I think she knew his heart from the start.  His kindness was apparent.   Hubcicle & I looked at one another with big ole dumb grins on our faces when he turned to Claire & said “How marvelous…a miracle perhaps” such a different reaction from what she had expected. We know that Claire never particularly found herself to be a woman of faith but in that moment – there was calm. It seemed her reserve was restored. It was an awesome moment and even though the powers that be said it was moved all around in post production. They put it in the perfect spot. It fit just right.

Sure, Jesus is cool...it's just some of his followers give me the heebies *cough* Bain *cough*
Sure, Jesus is cool…some of his followers give me the heebies *cough* Bain *cough*

The next day, Jamie is still refusing to eat & he is running a fever. Claire lets him know even though his hand looks like hamburger, it’s coming along nicely.  He’s none too receptive however. He doesn’t want to be saved. That’s just not nice.  She’s trying…really really trying.

We cut scene to the boys, Angus thinks its just a good idea to get drunk. Being sober sure as flip isn’t going to cure Jamie. Murtagh is confident that Claire can heal Jamie’s wounds but he knows that Jamie isn’t eating – that bothers him. Willie tells a tale of his uncle who did the same after an accident…starved himself he did. Uplifting story Willie. Thanks for sharing. Someone smack him would you?  Thanks Angus. Nice aim!

right in my eye

I do like Willie. A lot. He can be a dumb kid sometimes & they do to dumb kids what I WANT to do to dumb kids. Good cuff upside the head. You know…in a kind way *ahem*

Annnnnnnnyway…One of my favourite scenes in the show is between Murtagh & Jamie.  I can’t understand a bloody word they are saying because non hablez de gaelic. Uh-huh…I’m a canucklehead through and through. Sorry. If you DO want to know the conversation.Turns out, it is as touching & gut wretching as they portray it. Hit up this website. They even spell Gaidhlig with the lil accenty things all fancy n stuff.everythings-so-fancy-on-firefly-with-jewel-staite

You can see the heartbreak on Murtagh’s face. The despair on Jamie’s as well. For about a second I want them to take the cameras off of their faces because it is too painful. THEN the show WENT to the next scene…GAH go back. Please! I would rather them go back to the heartbreak & despair faces…yeah…please.

It is another flashBANG…and a bad one. Jamie dragging himself across the dungeon of dooms cold floor. He is naked in a way that angers us. He is bloodied in various places that make us want to go all mamabear. He is struggling across the stones, vomiting & looking very much – destroyed.

The bastard…aka…oh…I have so many names for him right now, none of them the least bit flattering and some might even burn your retinas when you read them. I am hating on him THAT much. Tobias PLAYED that character so well it made me angry to see his smug, priggish *sigh* whatever. Smug as usual. Wanting to know if Jamie has reached his limit. Geez…I WONDER?  When you start hallucinating “Claire Jack Randall”…you know shit’s done gone sideways and your cheese done fell of your cracker.

not funny
Those 2 faces really shouldn’t melt together like that. Nightmares – daymares – night terrors – day terrors…that’s what THAT face is made of.

Its apparent Jamie keeps reaching for the one thing that gives him solace. Claire. Creep Master doesn’t want him to have any part of it then lights to the realization that- “Hmmm this Claire thing can really mess with the boy.”  To watch Claire’s image fade from Jamie’s grasp & him curl up in a naked ball & cry like a babe was simply heartbreaking. How’d we all manage not curl up with him?  I wanted to spoon him. But…he was pretty grimy.  I have standards. *kidding* I don’t.

CCMG played the Claire Card…wanted Jamie’s surrender. “Are you mine?” Jamie – confused, broken & out of his head- heard Creepy but saw Claire. “Yes, only you.” Jamie said in his addled state.  The sadistic dick at this point didn’t care HOW he got Jamie’s surrender- he just wanted it. He didn’t care Jamie was out of his head delusional, he wanted him complacent – that was how he got him.

There is no better term for it than mindbuggery. (I don’t believe the term existed before now, I am pretty sure I made it up- well inadvertently Diana made it up – I just named what he did to Jamie.) Captain Creepy took a walk to his bag of tricks hanging in the room & pulled out his seal…heated in the huge lantern to a red hot brand & sauntered…yeah…the twisted frito chip sauntered over to Jamie & pointed to a place on his chest. Casually telling him to show him that he was Jamie’s. Mindbuggery folks.

mindfuckery

Jamie had a moment…a small moment where there was defiance. The brand did not make it to the spot on his chest where Captain Creepy intended it to go. Jamie did brand himself. However the brand was on his ribs. The look on CCMG’s face was something like…well…that wasn’t exactly what I wanted but it’ll do.

Every. Single.Time. Post production did a brilliant job of taking us out of that cell. Jamie was laying weak & wasted  in that sonofablankityblanks arms, with me wishing I could reach through the screen and tear him from his grasp when they put him back in the bed of the Abbey, rubbing his brand.

ouch-kiss-it-better-1

Oh how I wish things were this simple for our Jamie *sigh*

 I just wanna reach through that big ole screen and kiss his booboo better…the brand one, the other…well. No.

The group gathers as Willie rides up after doing some recon. Redcoats are going to get closer & they know they have to get Jamie out of there. They also know he isn’t getting better, if they wait much longer…well…monks don’t make good warriors do they?

giphy (1)

They do the geography. France. That is the safest place for them right now.  Murtagh makes a point of stating he will secure a ship. Always durable. Always reliable. Murtagh.

Willie’s up next. Oh…sorry…that sounded naughty. O.k. maybe it only sounded naughty to us pervyMcperversons.  I expect by now the majority of those reading this particular burst…ah…are.  Annnnywhoo…Willie, concerned for Jamie & wanting to see if he can help checks up on him. He isn’t a stupid kid like some of the men treat him.  He sees the value of the relationship between Jamie & Claire. He tries to get Jamie to see it again. Granted he isn’t fully aware of the torment Jamie has suffered.  Still he asks what he can do.  Jamie, seeing the blade Willie carries, asks for it. So he can end things…once and for all.

I heard of a huge outcry from fans about this particular scene. Saying Jamie would NEVER kill himself. Ummmm hey folks…what do you think he was trying to do in the book when he wasn’t eating & pushing everyone away…same thing…different means. Yup.  Again, Jamie was in a different frame of consciousness – not the Jamie we know & love. Not the Jamie he had grown into. It was “this” experience that helped him become the man that would never do that. Maybe? Perhaps?

Things that make ya go hmmmmmmmm

Things that make ya go hmmmmmmmm

 Of course Willie tells him to get bent, leaves & tattles on him to Claire.  SHE then goes straight to Murtagh…who is her Dear Abby. First Murtagh is happily telling her he has booked passage on a ship but he quickly reads her face & trails off .She tells him of Jamie wanting Willie to kill him & grasps from Murtagh’s look that he knew about Jamie’s state of mind.  Claire knew too…we all know that but she was sailing down the river denial.

Claire sure as hell doesn’t think being tortured & raped is enough reason to want to die…hell…look at all the crap SHE has been through & SHE keeps keeping on.  Okey Dokey says Murtagh but if Jamie falls so far down a hole we can’t get him out…I’m not going to watch him suffer…I will take him out! That would be kinda like pulling the plug in today’s view I’d say.

This is when Claire…faints…dead away. Big fat hairy hint to everyone.

In the next scene she comes to with Brother Paul caressing her neck & Murtagh feebly tapping his hand on his dirk & being very anxious. Here- I vere off –   I LOVE what Duncan Lacroix has done with this character.  He has completely given life to him that I never expected. I adored Murtagh in the books,but because I connect to introverted & awkward folks. It is like Duncan grasped onto that & not only gave Murtagh this…dimension of being…but gave him an added bit of personality that makes you smile, just seeing him. Man…he made me laugh out loud when he said “Scairt the piss right outta me.” He had the decency to look abashed because the monk was in the room with them. Which gave us a breather. We needed it!  Murtagh has become a steady – not just for Claire but for the audience.thank you

Murtagh calls it like it is.  Jamie can’t be pulled from the darkness that is eating him up unless someone goes into that darkness after him.  It’s quite simple really.  You see Claire think about this & this woman -who has faced down evil priests, witch hunters, scorned teenage girls (those are SCARY), sadistic freaks of nature,  english deserters with rape in mind…yeah…she knows she can handle going into the dark reaches of the mind of the man she loves more than life itself. She has this covered.

Claire starts the prep work. First on the list… girlfriend is making some lavender oil. She means business. Take no prisoners, she is getting her man back.

She goes into Jamie’s room & he is already having bad dreams, she puts the oil under his nose. He hears Captain Creepy’s voice & sees his sick smiling face looming over his bed at him. When Claire speaks again, it is her face there…mocking him & this sets Jamie into confusion. He tells her to leave him be- she’s all “Yeah right…tried that…look where it has gotten us. I’m trying something else.” The more she pushes Jamie…the more Captain Creepy’s mindbuggery pushes forward. Jamie can’t help but see HIS face like he was seeing CLAIRE’S in the cell.  Jamie snaps, he throws Claire to the ground but due to the fact she is ready…girlfriend gives his a swift kick and a few good smacks. Jamie is pretty weak – you know…when you don’t eat or take care of yourself, you get on the flimsy side. He manages to get her on the floor telling her he doesn’t want to hurt her. Yeah…think about that will you. You ARE hurting her A LOT! You want to kill yourself AND you won’t tell her why! That buddy…that hurts a whole helluvalot more than throwing a girl around a room. In the struggle she tears at his…ummm…I’m not even sure what to call what he is wearing. It’s not really a nighty or ever a strip of cloth. It effectively covered all his man bits. Manbit loinwear? Anyway. She tore at it…and saw the JR branding.

What? What's that?
What? What’s that?

She think she KNOWS he was branded. Tries to tell him that it’s alright but he tells her nope.Not alright.  HE is the one that branded himself. That means it goes way deeper. It’s time Jamie told her the truth. Claire didn’t WANT to hear the words but knew he NEEDED to say them…to free himself of them.

It’s true you know – if we let things go in that way. It can free us of an inner torture. Give our pain away to someone who doesn’t “feel” it the way we do.

lifelesson

Toger Brings you LIFE LESSONS

He tells her that the sick & twisted pretzel brain didn’t just use force on him…he made love to him. It was an admission you could tell he never wanted to share with her. Frankly – what man WOULD want to?

This is something that hasn’t changed in centuries with male victims of sexual violence & assault.  I worked with victim services for many many years. Male victims are out there. Male victims are much quieter & there is a huge stigma attached to “being” a victim. Survivors of assault & rape rarely come forward. There are so many complex reasons. More than any one person could begin to explain. Shame is only one of the reasons. Victim shaming is abhorrent and I am a shame the shamer kinda gal.

hang-thine-head-in-shame

Jamie takes another trip down flashBANG lane.  This is the one that many people had a problem with.  This is the one some claimed wasn’t in the book.   It’s all about how we “read” & “percieve”.

Jamie is clearly out of it. He wakes momentarily to see his tormentor getting washed up. Thanks pal. Mighty kind of you to be conscious of your physical hygiene since your mind is a dirty as a toilet seat in a 1 star hotel. *eyeroll*

Captain Creepy wakes our Jamie with some of that stank in a bottle.  He starts another round of his mindbuggery. He brings Claire to Jamie’s mind – speaking of her hands as he brings his over Jamie’s body with oil. With the delusion & unimaginable pain he has been in – the escape of the words “Think of your wife.” brought a resounding “YEAH! Think of CLAIRE…get the hell out of that room!” from even my husband.  After all – Jamie thought he was supposed to die shortly – if he FOUGHT this process – he surely would have suffered greater pain – YEP…this was not a scene that was “enjoyable” to watch. It certainly was not “comfortable”. However…it had a purpose.  Captain Creepy USED Jamie’s LOVE for Claire. He USED Jamie’s NEED for Claire and his NEED for comfort to get what he WANTED. The mindbuggery goes into full on buggery & he breaks Jamie completely. He gets our Jamie to surrender completely. The rotten sonofawhoseawhatyawannacallhim got exactly what he wanted.

OMG That makes me SO angry!
OMG That makes me SO angry! 

Jamie…breaks…he realizes exactly what just went down. The release was inevitable. He faces the fact that at the hands of this monster he gave over everything. He cries like a child & Captain Creepy has the nuts to say “I understand, she will never forgive you.”  Ummmmm really? This guy is more twisted than a balloon animal.

That’s finally over & we are back on the floor of the Abbey with Jamie & Claire.  He tells her straight up – he was glad not to feel pain for a bit in that moment. She needed to let him know that whatever he was thinking he had to know that there was nothing to forgive.  He was sure he was “less” to her because of it – because he was broken by him.  That quite pissed her off.  The words she speaks, she speaks with heart & vehemence. Jamie- throws them back at her.

He weakly gets back onto the bed. Tells her, he is disgusted with himself. THAT…that right there makes Claire go into I’M your wife mode.  She forces him to SEE HIMSELF as SHE sees him.  She forces him into the position she has been in.  Take yourself from ME will you? Then fine.  I go too.

You know…often we only need to see ourselves as others see us to get a fresh perspective. Sitting staring through our own self pity…looking down at ourselves, it so much different than when someone physically holds a mirror up and says HERE! THIS IS WHAT I SEE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL. POWERFUL. REMARKABLE & I LOVE IT BECAUSE…

lifelesson

Moving on quickly to cutting that JR brand out. Big hunka charred flesh scooped  & flung into the fire quick as may be.  Quite a few loogey’s hawked in this episode. The last one sizzled on the fire with the man meat of Jamie’s rib. Yet another scar to add to his collection. Seriously Jamie, you are like a good ole fashion TIMEX

post-8194-0-36118000-1426349325

Takes a lickin alright…

To the shores for our goodbyes with the men. Rupert & Angus are always good for a laugh with their banter. Of course, this is the last time for a while.  Angus had to leave us with something memorable. A handful of fans were not impressed by his behaviour- uncalled for & the like…we might want to remember he’s often used for comic relief & to take our minds off things of a serious nature.  The series isn’t going to last forever folks, let’s not take everything so seriously – especially the likes of Angus aye?

angus
Yes this is the face we are to take seriously…

I must say, I do find Jamie looks quite appealing in his tricorn hat. Wait.I’d find Jamie appealing shaved bald with a polka dotted beanie. Never mind. My observations are futile.

The way Willie stood on the shore…staring out at them as they sailed away gave me pause. Made me believe – we could be seeing young Willie sooner than later.

Maybe we do...yeah...that'd be cool. Willie in France!
Maybe we do…yeah…that’d be cool. Willie in France! I’m just making guesses not starting rumours. It’s only a rumour if you repeat it.

On the ship, Jamie is trying to get his sea legs, which is hard because he isn’t very sea worthy.  Claire too…green around the gills it seems. They chat about how both are Pukey McPukersons – then Claire & Jamie start talking about their future in France. What they will be doing? Where they will go? The rising…if they can stop it.  I keep on looking at Jamie’s hand. Damn that’s dark.  Bruised and nasty. Keep talking though guys, I hear you.  Claire wants to stop Culloden from happening. She all but convinces Jamie they can change the future if they try.

Shhhhh....we aren't going to talk about THAT!

Shhhhh….we aren’t going to talk about THAT!

But now…she has something else to tell him. SOMETHING ELSE? You wanna change the future. That’s a lot right there sister. Now what?   You wanna fly to the moon? You wanna set Murtagh up with the chambermaid?

Claire tells Jamie she has a little bundle of Fraser baking in her bunnery! OH GOODY! Yeah, all of us book readers knew…know…but they have been playing with the adaption so we can never be 100% sure what they are going to do with things.  This was a great way to play it. Jamie’s face was blank…WTF?! How’d that happen-ness! Sure, he “knows” HOW it happens but as far as he was aware, Claire wasn’t able to have babies.  She isn’t wrong often but this time. YUP! Wrong! Jamie hit the baby making button.

Can't wait till he learns about these lil fellas!
Can’t wait till he learns about these lil fellas!We will get there! I know we will! YOU GOTTA HAVE FAITH!

It’s hard to judge by his face if he is happy because he looks so confused. He uttered a little gaelic…could have been interpreted as “holy shit”. Read the scots blog I posted earlier and they tell you what he said there too.  She simply asks him if he is happy. The gap between his thoughts & his heart collide.  He never thought he would be happy again. But he is. VERRA VERRA HAPPY INDEED! They embrace with such enthusiasm I wanted to jump into it! In fact, they drew Murtagh to them…the smile on his face…well damnit.

won't cry...won't.....WAAAAHH

Won’t cry…Won’t…..WAAAAHH

They leave us with the most gorgeous view of our couple standing on the deck of the ship together. Staring out into their future. Jamie looking down to his wife & growing child. The ship turning…headed to- well- France right?

We have entered the land of #NaughtLander.

Look how beautiful it can be though.  Don't let it get you down.  ENJOY IT.

Look how beautiful it can be though. Don’t let it get you down. ENJOY IT.

GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT!

 Do not despair. There is so much for fans to do.

We promise to be here for you. Whether you like it or not. I will continue to provide my own personal brand of edutainment.  This fandom is FULL of talent.  I am gonna be throwing a bunch of it at you. Check out our twitter @ABOotlanders .  This is where we LIVETWEET with each episode. As we watch on Showcase. We furiously tweet. In fact our magic tweeters started the #OutlanderCAN. Which I will brag @ABOotlanders got to trend during episodes 8 and 16.  Canadians don’t brag but we toot our own tooters when tooting is justified. It takes a team of us @tlmfarmgirl is my TwitterTrending Posse…xo

We love to share the love.  Not, like STD share but you know…the other share.

See...clean... *eyelash flutter*

See…clean share…not dirty… *eyelash flutter*

That wasn’t so bad.  I know it took me a while to get to Episode 16. No…it wasn’t because I was scairt either.  It was because…get ready…I have this thing that gets in the way sometimes. It is called a life. UGH! I know right. RUDE!

Plus I love to hear from you. Comment – blab- chat away. I will answer.

SL/Sher or Hey You…the ABOotiest of ABOotlanders