Can Outlander change Mr. Canoehead into a kilted warrior? Well a girl can dream!

A kilted Canoehead...well ya know. It's a mythical creature.

A kilted Canoehead…well ya know. It’s a mythical creature.

Some of our men are making a right good attempt at it. Yes, that’s proper Canadian grammar. Look it up. Its in the Canadian Websters Grammar Book of Good Well Grammar.

See. YOU GOT IT

See. YOU GOT IT

The Heughliots are an interesting lot. Some of us, like me, have been in very long relationships.  Mine began when I was a mere stupid lass of 14. Oh be quiet…we are ALL stupid at 14.  I ended up marrying that guy (thank whoever you want to thank, because boy I did shameful things with him…) I’m now *mumble*chipmunk-with-full-cheeks  *mumble. We have been together a VERRA long time.  He has been listening to me talk about one James Fraser for going on 20 yrs now. So much so that when the announcement of the TV show was made his reaction was a solid – No. Not THAT.

No. I do not like this at all. Not one bit. No.

We will get into that more later shall we?

The Heuliots have our collection of the single ladies

So Many Single Ladies- maybe not all “ladies” – we use the term loosely

Heughliots w boy friends, boytoys, girlfriends,girltoys or pets

As long as they play nice they fall into one of the 5 catagories

 

Heughliots who are in relationships & have  young kids who have to run for quickies in the bathroom while Dora is on…Yeah…that’s a thing. Poor buggers. I lived there once.

sure we can have sex

And some happily romancing Jamie instead. Yes, I can see where the imagination is a nicer place to be sometimes. You go girls!

Me and Jamie are happy – in my dreams. That’s a real place. Bite ME!

As you can see the Heuliots are a motley crew of women with all sorts of relationship experience to pull from. It shows you that we make up a great sample of what the fandom looks like. Sure, we are Canadian…sure we are weird…but I can assure you – most of this fandom – just a weeeee bit touched in the ole brain cavity.

We are not crazy...we are mentally hill-hairy-ass!

We are not crazy…we are mentally hill-hairy-ass!

Before I completely forget that this blurb is NOT all about us, it’s about our partners too, let me put this train back on the rails.

Many of us have had to get our partners on board with this ride. For me, it took some work. Mine whined Jamie’s name when ever he said it. “Jaaaaaaaamie”. He had a major hate on for my book boyfriend.  Then he met him and was like “Well shit.  Now I know why you have been crushing on him all these years, he IS the bloody King of Men…this is RIDICULOUS!”  Then of course he has a debt to owe the man. Go back a few blogs to be reminded of that would you?

Other HeughliHusbands are realizing quickly that Outlander is not all about the book porn. This is what of course they think we have been reading for 20 yrs. Yep, they thought this was our version of Hustler, but it was confusing to them because  it didn’t have pictures. Throw back at them…”Well I thought you read THAT for the articles?”  Aaaaanyway.  The first episode didn’t help our argument because well…SEX…bewbies…the oral SEX…they were like “I was right…it is PORN!”

I was Right! I was Right! I was Right! I was Right!

I was Right! I was Right! I was Right! I was Right!

Well played Ron.D.Moore. Well played. You sucked those boys in and they didn’t even see it coming. Then you shot muskets. Played loud music. Showed gory bones out of joint and blood. Well played sir. You did it. You hooked them.

We have some partners who are still needing translation.  It can get pretty comical at times. Admin Tammy had this conversation with her hubby discussing the wedding night. There is the lovely moment when Jamie is describing the colours in Claire’s Hair – her husband says to her – “What is so hot about the brown water and the dark spots in the water in a BARN???”

Barn water. That’s disgusting. Why does she think that’s romantic. What am I missing here? I have to be missing something don’t I?

After she could breathe again she  explained to him… Burn… Jamie says burn not barn – burn as in a stream! Can you imagine what dark and brown barn water would be??? YEUCKKKK!!!

 

I certainly have had to listen to my fair share of shagging with wee beastie comments. I believe my husband and Rupert are kindred spirits. Once Rupert made that comment about Angus- and he replayed it 4 times until he heard the whole scene clearly.  He makes jokes about the chickens, goats, horses & “shaggy” cows & why some Scotsmen wear boots with their kilts. Clearly knowing he is climbing hill-hairy-ass! The commentary is quite entertaining.

scottish_lassie

 

 

The cool part is, my hubs likes to score brownie points. So he calls me things like Sassanach. Before the show aired…his pathetic attempts sounded like Sasquatch & Saskatchewan. Yup. Right there buddy. At that point he only had my saying it to him and not “getting it.”  Now hearing it himself and “seeing” the reaction and getting the results. Yup…he let’s common sense motivate him.

Now that we are waiting until April for the next 8 Episodes, he wants to know what happens next. However, he is not a reader.  If it isn’t on glossy pages and doesn’t fall over the back of the toilet…he won’t read it. So, after forever, he has me reading it to him before bed each night.  He likes the differences, however gets a little annoyed by the descriptive nature of the book. He’s a dude, he likes to get to the point. That’s ok. We are enjoying this new experience. My scottish accent is getting better. Well I think it is…shuddup.

Some of the other men in our lives are not seeing the benefit of embracing the world of Outlander. They could be getting so much more action. Keeping so much warmer this winter and have a much happier partner. Take the damn canoe off your head and see the light people. See the Sassenach at the end of the stones! Or Claire in the Box…However you look at it – the end result is a good time had by all.

Get in the Box...it's warm in the box.

Get in the Box…it’s warm in the box.

 

 

Well it’s marathon time in my house.  I have to prepare.  This means getting the most comfortable blankey, hitting up Kernels for dill pickle popcorn ( Love how it burns the first 3 layers of taste buds off my tongue) & getting some Disaronno for sipping aka gulping. For those who thought I meant running marathon.  You are on the real kind of crack…not my kinda crack…which ends in lander.

I know how to survive this Droughlander.  I will not perish.

 

SL Heughliot @ Large

 

Canada Strong.

It is a phrase being used a lot today.  Our country is large, our country is strong and our country is free.  However, our country is not immune to threat and our country has been shown that today.

Yes, I know this blog is reserved for Outlander related blurts but you know something, it is also Canadian through and through.

Today,it’s about Canada. Everyone of us Outlandish Canadians are thinking about one another for another reason today and dammit, we want to talk about it.  We are walking around with lumps in our throats and tears in our eyes and we want to give one another a hug. So, the Heughliots are here to do just that.

Snuggle in friends

Snuggle in friends

What happened this morning in Canada you ask? A Soldier, Cpl Nathan Cirillo,24 (who was a member of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders, stationed out of Hamilton ONT) -was doing his duty, standing guard over our National Memorial – which also is the home of our tomb of the Unknown Soldier. He was shot in the chest and even though first respondents and many others tried to save him, they could not, and he lost his life.  This person who killed him, proceeded to go into the Nationals capital parliament building in order to cause more mayhem, where he was then killed by those protecting other Canadians.

Our focus here is not the offender or the why of today.  Our focus is with those who we believe deserve the focus.

-Cpl. Nathan Cirillo and all the other men & women who put on their uniforms to “Stand on guard for THEE”.

-Those who came to their aide. To ALL of our aide when called upon and even when NOT called.

-Those who put their badges to their chest this day and everyday, knowing their life may be on the line for ours.

-Those who silently wait to be called when someone is hurt, lost or alone and rarely receive the thank you’s or accolades they should.

Together we stand strong against those who try our singularity. Together we show one another compassion, hope and pride in who we are as a nation.

I have always been proud to be a Canadian. It starts when we are small. 

Yes, It is heartbreaking to know that there are people who hate what we are proud of…simply because of the unity it represents. As Canadians though, we won’t stop being who we are.  It is ingrained in us. Like Maple Syrup tapping…you can’t just NOT do it anymore.

stock-footage-maple-tree-tapped-to-harvest-sap-for-maple-syrup-dripping-into-a-bucket (1)

Just because you take out the tap…doesn’t mean the syrups not there.

Our Military, our Police, First Respondents (Fire, EMS and all those who put on a uniform each day that shows they put others lives before their own) deserve more than an extra thought today.

It is here that we send them our love & deepest gratitude.

 

(Photo has been removed as it has been now noted it is Cpl Nathan Cirillo prior to his death. This was not my understanding when photo was originally presented to the public.)

 

When one falls…We all will stand. With one another, with our neighbours to the south and across the ocean.

You get the picture.

CANADA STRONG.

SL

Heughliot @ Large

Canada Dry…not the pop- the time between Outlander Episodes 8 & 9. ORIGINAL

and here we sit. Waiting. This is what happens when you get addicted to Cracklander. You binge out and then there is a dry spell in town, problem is, we can’t hop in the car and go to the big city to score a hit or call Creepy Uncle Jack that Mom doesn’t ever want us to talk to…we have to wait it out.

bored

Do I look impressed? No…it’s because I’m not.

So, we wait.  It’s a reallllll good thing that I have a shit load of friends waiting with me, tappin their own veins until episode 9 airs.  Our American friends at least “know” their kill switch date.  Us up here, in the great white…well…we can only hope that Showcase gets it right this time. HINT HINT!  Nope. I am NOT known for subtly.

Can you hear me NOW?!

                                               Can you hear me NOW?!

As much as we like leftovers, we prefer not to have them – every – single – meal. Knowhatimsayin?

So? What shall we do while we wait?  I have some suggestions for you.

Not all of them are practical and not all of them will particularly help ease the pain.

We tend to either state the obvious, be incredibly sarcastic or...you know...pull shit like this.

We tend to either state the obvious, be incredibly sarcastic or…you know…pull shit like this.

My question to you now is… when have you known me to be practical or helpful? I’m here to entertain… or create a reasonable facsimile of humour in some form. I think you may be getting used to that concept by now eh?

We have to FIRST stop complaining that there is a break. There’s a break. Will complaining stop the break? Nooooooo…the break does not stop with the complaining. Yes, I am saying this to myself just as much as I am saying it to everybody else.

Even Jack can't take it any more

Even Jack can’t take it any more

The next step is to DO something about it.  We have to pass the time somehow. So LET’S get creative! Sure, some of us can knit (not me), some can make WONDERFUL fan videos, (not me), some can paint or draw, (not me) so the Not Me’s of the world…must do other things…here are some suggestions.

Take them in the spirit they are intended.

To Excite and Entice. No?

To Excite and Entice. No?

  • Find another addiction.   It’s what crackwhores do.  When the crack runs dries…the meth’ll do. So tune into The Walking Dead, catch up on a show you never watched like Breaking Bad, if there is still one or two of you out there that hasn’t seen it…or REALLY treat yourself and watch Republic of Doyle. I am not shitting you. That is some good TV right there!
    See how good that TV is?

    See how good that TV is? He has what we ladies call STUPIDMAKERS…those muscles that trail on down to his happy place…No idea what they are called…but ummmmm….DUH *drool* DUHsummore

    Or check something else out that captures your interest and makes you want to watch it again and again. Something that makes you want to research the characters, watch previous seasons, get the books. Whatever you need to do to fill the gaps of time. You know, about 6 months worth.

 

  • Read ALL the Gabaldon books. In my case…Re-Re-Re-Re-Re-Re(oh FFS you get the picture x 12) the books, throw in the novellas, the Lord John series, listen to the audio books by Davina Porter. That ought to keep you busy and out of touch with reality a good long while. We know Diana’s books are kinda on the large side…which is great…because when someone interrupts you while reading, you can throw it at their whole face. Not half, not just their nose or chin…their WHOLE face.                                                                                        Click right here if you want to know the chronological order of all the tomes. *PHEW-Big words n meanings…need a drink!*

 

  • Scour the interwebs for juicy gossip  interesting information about the show, cast & crew. This does not make you a stalker. It makes you curious. Curiosity is a good thing.  Remember when they said that when you were little? Yeah, just pretend that.

    There’s no problem here…carry on

 

  • Considering we are going to be waiting in Canada from the months Oct- probably around April/May. Shovel your snow, clean off your car, scrape the ice off your windows and watch some hockey games. AKA Be a Productive Human That ought to keep you plenty friggen busy eh?  Me…I do not choose to do those things. You will continue to see me right here. Typing out blogs for your viewing pleasure or roll your eyedom.
  • Last but not least…Get a life. BAHAHAHA! Who’m I kiddin right? WHO exactly spent a couple hours today writing this VERY blog? Yeah…this girl…
    Adamjkurtz.com  - You know you want this balloon. You Know you NEED this balloon

    That was mean. I shouldn’t have

    I just wanted to see your face when I said it. Too bad I can’t…I do have have a great imagination though. Thanks to Mr. Dress-Up, Casey & Finnagin all those years ago.  What I wouldn’t do for a Tickle Trunk today. Well I have the grown up version but a kids version would help pass the time too….never mind…the grown up version is just fine.

    Yep...mine's just a lil bigger.

    Yep…mine’s just a lil bigger.

    Needless to say, the Droughtlander will be over before we know it because well…the best way to get through ANY tough situation is to Get Claire Drunk and stay Claire drunk. Let’s face it. Us Canadians have livers of steel. If there is something we do, and do well. It’s drink. Wine, beer, rum, whisky, vodka, liqueurs…we are equal opportunity. Besides, it helps keep us warm over those cold winter months. We are not a stupid people.

    No I do not endorse alcoholism...but drunkenness is a whole other sandbox.

    No I do not endorse alcoholism…but drunkeness is a whole other sandbox

 

 

Stay warm Canada…and to our Outlander friends…we don’t like to drink alone so let’s get this party started. *HIC*

SL – Heughliot @ Large

Our original Blog date on this was in October…How Time Flies when you are being tortured…

We are takin’ on Both Sides Now. MidSeason cut off…the television version of pulling out too soon

gross-sobbing

I’m pulling a Claire and grabbing the booze. I just need to cry…drink it out.

It simply didn’t last long enough. It was like Jamie’s first time…good enough for them – we are left wanting.

Even though Showcase did their part and dragged it out for us. You know, for all the bitching and moaning I did, we got 2 extra weeks (because we started 2 weeks later) and we got 4 hours more (granted it was all commercials but it was more). Canadians are collectively sitting around their furnaces and praying to the Natural Gas gawds that the return in April is at the same time Starz returns! April 4th. April 4th!

WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE. Can ya take a subtle hint per chance

WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE. Can ya take a subtle hint per chance?

We rallied the troops for the midseason finale- which happened to be Thanksgiving Sunday. We live tweet with fellow Canadians using a hashtag I started the first week Outlander premiered in Canada –  #OutlanderCAN. Our fellow CrackLander sisters from all over the world who are going through withdrawls, joined us.

women-support-group

Even Caitriona Balfe stopped by for a tweet and some favouriting. She is incredibly gracious. We really love her.

CAIT

Her tweet helped us trend in Canada. It was pretty exciting considering we were up against the all and powerful The Walking Dead. (Which I also love…but its like comparing Scots n Zombies…you just…can’t)

 

We beat Thanksgiving…that was pretty cool! I got this  pic from Outlander Pal  Alicia Prevost

trends

See that? Right there? AHEAD of The Walking Dead…premiere night for them. Yeah…that’s right…a BIG DAMN DEAL!

I always get distracted…so I guess I should talk about the last episode eh? It was pretty friggen phenominal. There was a lot of Frank tonight, which I know many book readers have issues with and I must say 3 little words to you. Get-over-it. Canadians aren’t always sweet natured. Reference the Canadian goose, they are real assholes.

Not-All-Canadians-are-nice

Truth is, I completely see the value of this portion of the visually told story. This is all stuff that “could have” been happening in the book but since the whole book is from THE Claire viewpoint….TADA…we didn’t see it did we? Nooooooo…this is really very clever.  I respect the transition and the extra OOOMPH they gave Frank.

Like we said in our 10 Outlandish Things we are Thankful For blog. They went and made us LIKE the guy! (Yes Karen et al, we know you always liked Frank…shhh now…you are distracting me again)

So the opening sequence of this episode didn’t irritate me. It made me feel for the guy. PoliceMan Dan had to get his drink on to deal with Frank…apparently he has been a super hemorrhoid to the whole operation. It must be terribly irritating for Frank…you know,  being smarter than everyone around you and having to clue them into that fact. Tiring being so bloody intelligent. I should know.

I love how Policeman Dan just keeps sipping his whisky flavoured tea…getting ready to go into ragemode times two. Frank poked the bear and the bear poked back. Talk about a pissing contest. Policeman Dan won that round though because Frank left looking like his wife had disappeared through some stones – I dunno 200 yrs and fallen in love with a highlander or somethin.

And POOF…there we are…back in 1743…and it is pissin out. SO rainy. Like don’t listen too close or you will have to pee rainin out. We are on a hill while Jamie n Claire have some major and I mean MAJOR hand sex. Boy…those two played the eye sex into the ground in the earlier episodes, well now…they have that, put the hand sex on top of it, and you have a new kinda Subway sandwich. I don’t have to explain the special sauce to you.

handseckstweet

They have a moment, where we see that Claire is falling for this young man. He wonders if what he is feeling for her is normal..you know…cuz she is super experienced with all the men – she tells him “No way hoser…this is different than all the other times in my life when the boys came to my yard. Afterall, there are no milkshakes here.”

THEN…*Whoosh* an arrow comes in their yard. Surely if it wanted to hit them, it would have but Jamie goes into panther mode and tackles Claire and stealthily crawls over to the arrow and recognizes it like an old friend. Those arrows must have dimples & red curls just like him. This character jumped straight off the pages into my heart…and he did EXACTLY the same thing in the show. What a treat! It was like a box of smarties in the guise of Hugh Monro!

smarties

I love the foreshadowing. I love they used Hugh FOR the foreshadowing of the second season when he gave Claire the Dragonfly in Amber. It was such a great moment and you could see Claire fall in love with Hugh right then too. It was so friggen SWEET. Let’s not forget though, he isn’t just there to be our window dressing, he has some important shit to tell…which is not the easiest thing when you have no tongue. Turkish bastards who cut it out…Long story short, Hugh has had a rough damn go of it but now…he has a license to beg…surely that makes it all better eh? ANYWAY… It takes Jamie a few tries but he deciphers the clues that Hugh has given him and gathers what he has to mumble. There is this guy with 2 big balls who can get the price off of Jamie’s head. It HAS to be that easy doesn’t it?

balls

Hugh gets some loving from Claire, see…another boy in her yard…That girl.

Jamie then tells her he might get to go home and take her with him… to be Lady Lallybroch – and the sighs went down around Canada then.

gonna be a lady

We do a whole lot of Happy Claire…Sad Frank in this episode.

We are now in the Reverends study with the Reverend going over all these things that could have happened to Claire…one sounding stupider than the last…her falling through time is WAY more logical dude. Accept it.

sherlocksnip

Even Frank is getting a wee bit pissy with the Reverend and his ideas when suddenly things and Frank couldn’t get any sadder…the cutest little boy you ever laid your eyes on comes in the room with Mrs. Graham.  Its wee Roger!  Now Frank sees everything he has lost…his wife & his future. *BAWLING* and OMG I want to squeeze that little boys cheeks so hard they pop!

I admit it. I watched The Walking Dead last night too. But I don't wanna eat wee Roger up THAT way. That's gross.

I admit it. I watched The Walking Dead last night too. But I don’t wanna eat wee Roger up THAT way. That’s gross.

I had to also accept the fact that they gave me this cute and adorable lil fraggle for Roger …but I know that given their penchant for casting hot, want to rip their kilts off sexy men…that wee Roger won’t be so wee in Season 2…and well…I will be wanting to do dirty things to him. I felt just a little uncomfortable – for a second. I have very little couth. You know, thought I would tell you in case you had no observation techniques.

Frank decided to go to Claire’s school of dealing with shit. He ends up at a bar. Brits and Canadians have that in common too 😉

Here comes some chick named Sally – really- she says she knows where “he” is. I smell a trap…must be the same one they set in that smoking ashtray.smoking ashtray trick

So the trap has been laid for the would be “professor” that actually is a military intelligence officer..so yeah…you think he might be expecting to get jacked?

We have to wait to see because we jump back to the 18th century where is it Rupert Rooms story time. Everyone sitting by the fire listening to Rupert talk about the Waterhorse of the loch.  MagicMirror

If you listen closely you will hear him talk about waterweed and the like. Many tips of the hat to the books in this little portion, so as much bitching as there was for the bits left out, there were many popped in for our enjoyment.

Jamie & Claire’s handsex moments carried on, right there in front of everyone. Can you imagine. Then…dun dun dun…things started happening! Horses got all freaked, men started pulling out their weapons but “not” pulling out their weapons. Rupert kept telling his story while getting ready to leap. It was Scottish Ninja time –

scottish ninjas tweet-they knew they were about to be attacked but were going to get the jump on the punks. Plus Bear McCreary put in the bagpipes so you KNOW someone is gonna get an ass kickin…Highland style. I don’t know about anyone else but…damn…those screaming, yelling, sword n dirk weilding kilted men get me all hot n bothered when they are beating up people.  THAT’S how the UFC should be, in the dark, in the mud, in kilts…mmmmm…yeah. Now THAT’S hot!

rumble

*Fans Self*

They ran off those Grants good! Ned saved the day…night…by shooting one of them in the shoulder. Ned…wow boyo! All the while protecting the books and didn’t even drop a page.  That man has talent. Someone get him a hoooooor for the night! He deserves it.

nedtweet

They all feel pretty friggen good after their victory! Who wouldn’t, they had the WTH just happened looks on their faces…then HILL-HAIRY-TEES ensued!

If you didn’t catch it, Jamie called Claire my love when he took her in his arms afterwards. BIG FAT JUICY SIGHS all around.

THEN cut to Frank again…they really are doing a trip on me here.  It is like AHHHHH Everything is awesome Everything is Awesome…BOOM…SADFACEEMOJICON! Like I don’t feel I am crazy enough – they do this to my feels.

crazyshake

Naturally, Frank comes prepared for the trap that was laid down for him. He had a glimmer of hope of course or he wouldn’t have shown up but he did…and little Sally ducked off to the corner while 2 guys jump him. Frank pulls out a – guess? Guess what it is? Its a weapon…it has a name…its a, yup, its a black jack club. Nice! Subtle and pretty clever once again.  Frank goes into black jack mode actually, taking it a bit over board in the beating department.  We get a bit of a glimpse of his ancestor there don’t we? He rounds on lil ms. Sally when she stops him- almost strangled the livin stupid out of the woman. When he came to his senses. Knowing damn well the highlander didn’t exist.

Reverend Wakefield tries to let Frank know that sips from the mug of evil are ok…just don’t take any big gulps or your done for. He figures if he stays…he’s hooped. Time to move on now. All of their sleuthing has come up with nothing so obviously Claire skipped town with the highlander guy. Off you go now!

We go back again to the charming fun Highlanders. Rupert gives us the 18th century version of “That’s what she said” and yes…I snorted. They are bonding and showing Claire the love, wanting her to be protected if it comes down to it – so you know that’s foreshadowing- dammit! But lets enjoy this scene while we can because it is quite a lot of fun. Angus, the wiley wee bugger is a great teacher so he is the one in charge of showing Claire how to use her wee sticker.

professor angus

Laughs and joyfulness during the teaching then BOOM..back to sad Frank. ERMERGERD Ron D Moore. You really are putting us through the ringer this time. fistin

Its like a bloody great hockey game. Back n forth. Back n Forth! I can’t get enough of it. Boom we are back in the wet heather with Jamie and Claire getting super hot n heavy. Being ADORKABLE as always. Talking about how he feels like god himself…lol…loved that line from the book and glad they used it. Cait played this part so well. Giggling, yet still remaining intimate and attached. I felt like a voyeur, watching them like that. I didn’t want to turn away but I could definitely imagine myself backing up and focusing in with the binoculars if I had to. Can’t. Get. Enough.

so much secks

aaaaaaaand…of course, just when things are getting most awesome – CLICK- You hear a hammer being drawn back. Then you see a barrel come into focus and the faces of our two lovers go from ecstasy to terror because some bloody deserter from the redcoats and his mate decide this of all moments is the perfect one to ruin someones day!

They tear Jamie off Claire and start in on them both. Claire is more than terrified, Jamie is both terrified and pissed right off. Not a great combination. The problem is, these arrogant redcoats think this is going to be easy pickings. Little do they know that Claire has gotten lessons how to stick a prick recently.  One of the nasty lil twerps jumps on her to rape her and she goes into quiet, think this through and gut the little arsewipe mode. Because this is the LAST thing the other idiot expects, he is caught off guard and Jamie takes like ZERO seconds to react and turns him into a human PEZ dispenser. This guy now has a flip top head.

These are the moments when having commercials makes me go just a TAD postal. Yes. I understand the necessity. Yes. I know this is not Starz and Showcase shows commercials so we get them…but we get a hell of a LOT of them. A half an hours worth of them and pretty much the same ones. When they come at times like this well I don’t really care the TV can’t hear or see me, I’m flippin it the bird.

fu

Commercial breaks smamercial breaks.Pft!

It is in this moment, Jamie throws the deadcoat off Claire, gathers her into his arms and runs up the hill to fetch a pail…ummm…to comfort her.

on the hill2

Mrs. Graham has had enough of listening to this hogwash bullshit that the reverend has been spouting about Claire living in a cave eating frogs and thinks Frank ought to hear HER hogwash bullshit that frankly is the truth! He overhears them and is all like “You guys talking about me?”  Mrs. Graham gets all cocky and says…”Yeah cuz there are tonnes of other guys whose wives went up into the stones, lets have a spot of tea while I tell you a tale of the wee folk. It might sound kookey but you know deep down it’s easier to bite down on than her up and leaving for some random dude in a kilt aye? aye?”

She goes on and on and Frank just stares at her, Through her. He is thinking “Lady, you are touched in that head of yours” and part of him kinda looks like he wants to pull out that black jack of his again. He is a gentleman though and just gets up and says …Ok enough cray cray in this town. I’m out…Oh and because you can’t feel sad enough, we are going to grab you with some great big sad wee Roger baby eyes.

sadbabyeyes

You can’t look at me without seeing your future slipping away can you sir?

We cut back to Claire & Jamie on the hill, him begging for forgiveness. Calling her my love, in Gaelic, he is angry at himself for allowing her to be mishandled, she is going into shock and repeating over and over its ok, she is going into shock. Ummmm, I don’t know lots about shock but if you are going into it, I’m thinking…you aren’t really alright. The other men show up because they heard the shot and they tell Jamie, after this, there is no way that he is going to meet that english deserter on his own. No way!

This is the moment in time that I say…DAMN that girl can ACT! Yes, Tobias is awesome, Sam is amazing, Graham kicks ass, Grant & Steven rock…but Caitriona – she is…mind blown Straight up. She goes from being attacked, killing a dude, being swept up, going into shock and then…being down right pissed off with the world…and it all comes off as seemlessly as a hoooooor’s skirts. Jamie lets her know she has to stay behind with babysitter Willie while he goes to his meeting with the others. She burns him good saying she has made it quite apparent she can take care of herself. Girls do that, right below the belt…and let’s face it, when your wearing a kilt, pretty easy to grab onto the fellas and give a twist.

The next few scenes are absolutely riveting TV! Frank is driving back to Oxford but he takes a wee detour up to Craigh Na Dun.  Willie has to go for a poop so Claire, is left alone, she starts wandering when…BOOM…Craigh Na Dun. We get visuals of Frank on one side of the rocks….Claire rushing up the other side of the rocks.  Frank then calls out Claire’s name in desperation…and GUESS WHO HEARS HIM? Not just us…nope nope nope…Claire, who is 200 years in the past…HEARS him and starts screaming back…he hears her too. The next few moments are some of the coolest we have seen, heard & felt.

frank feels

 

Then Claire reaches up for the stones, you think…maybe…(But no you really don’t because most of you read) and those bloody redcoats grab onto her!  Seriously…the bitching and moaning I heard about them not doing the near drowning scene with Claire. Let me remind you 1) adaptation 2) Cait is a real live person that would have to act that out, and if you haven’t noticed, they do things really authentically and I’m am thinking, any body of water would have frigid ass water in it. 3) adaptation.  The way they did it was brilliant.  I laughed at one comment “The redcoats just came out of the blue.”  Sort of the same way they did in the book. Sort of the same way they did a few minutes earlier. This is also from Claire’s point of view, she was pretty focused on those rocks wasn’t she?  Probably wouldn’t see the redcoats either…even when or IF they were there. Let your brains breath people – they will feel better and enjoy the show MUCH more when you do.

The scene of Frank going down one portion of the hill and Claire getting dragged down the other. Yep. That.

Claire knows who is at the end of her journey, she knows where she is going…they are following the map to CreepyTown. *sigh*

Map

 

 

Claire & BJR always play their game of cat & mouse. This time Claire decides to use her bit of info on him, that the Duke of Sandringham is his lil buddy. This shocks him enough he spits out his drink

Shocked-GIF

Then Claire…does what Claire does best. She get cocky. Starts telling him “You better just keep your big mouth shut, the duke wouldn’t like it very much if you exposed me…blah blah blah.

And the mouse…gets caught…again. Claire falls into the trap of BJR. He mentions how if she is a secret agent of the duke, she has GOT to be a secret agent of the duchess…Claire is like DUH…of course butthead.  So now…lets go through our desk drawer where MOST folk have staplers and pens…this crazy effer has oh…ROPE! Magic Jack. Wonder where he will pull a bunny out of next time!?

This is where shit gets ugly. She tries to take off but the little corporal is no Mountie and he offers her zero protection…ooooh he may be part Canadian, he did say he was sorry before handing her back over to the sick bastard. This is where BJR makes one monumental mistake “No matter what you hear…don’t you come back.”  But we won’t know how bad that is till later…oh in about 6 MONTHS!

She screams, good and loud because now, she knows what this guy is capable of. He rips off her clothes, grabs her by the hair and slams her onto his desk getting ready to force her into all sorts of evilness.

Suddenly – BANG! Someone threw open the sash…the bat signal got sent! There is JAMIE! Hunkered down in the windowsill with a musket aimed at BJR. Jamie…always the gentleman says “I’ll thank you to take your hands OFF my WIFE.”

 

 

window

Goes to Crazy Jack face…love seeing that stunned SHOCK on his face…Claire’s face thinking…Ummm yep…left it a little late but THANK PETE but boy this is going to get cold n tiresome laying splayed across this desk for the next 6 months.  Jamie too…stuck in the windowsill, looks like its cold n rainy out there, he might get a leg cramp.

But for reals, Jem spent what? 5 yrs in a tunnel? Surely these guys can handle 6 months in these precarious positions…the tough part is for US FANS!.  Not U.S. fans US..us…one word. All of us.

I really hope that Showcase can manage to show the rest of the episodes in succession along with our American counterpart. That would be lovely of them to do.

I do believe we have shown them we can bring up the excitement level for them. #OutlanderCAN was started by us Heughliots at the start of episode one…it’s kinda caught on, and may I mention again…it trended!?

trends

#3 – That’s right…you see it.

 

Don’t worry, we aren’t going to disappear over the hiatus. Our crazy doesn’t burn out that easy!

 

SL   Heughliot @ Large

 


			

Ten Outlandish Things Canadians are Thankful for this Thanksgiving

Let’s REBLOG for our American Friends  who are Celebrating THEIR Thanksgiving…you know late.  At least us Canadians will be ready for the next Turkey coma that is up in just a few more wks for Christmas. We don’t know how you people do it. You are true turkey troopers!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING OUTLANDER FRIENDS!

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

 

As you may or may not know, this weekend is the second one in October.  To Canadians this is Thanksgiving weekend, when we stuff a dead bird (preferably Turkey- magpies are harder to catch), stuff our face with pie, and yes, boil up that corn, and stuff.

We also talk about what we’re thankful for. There’s no Black-Jack Friday, but there might be football, yes CANADIAN football (and we have bigger…. err fields, ya ken? And we go down one less, because we get it done sooner…) And WOOHOO!!! Finally us Canadians get to do something before the US does… we can do up a We’re Verra Thankful post (small steps, baby…)

 

So what has been our biggest Thank your Starz-Gods moments so far?

Let’s ask the Alberta Heughliots what they say, eh?

 

10. They are actually filming this puppy in Scotland!  Really, it’s breathtaking.  And it’s become it’s own character.  And we want to go there reallllll bad

We will settle for Nova Scotia right now, but that’s not going to last much longer!

10

 

9. Diana’s and Ron’s cameos on episode 4. It was a case of  ‘Wheres Waldo’ for Ron, but Diana played her part with snappy grace!

May I present: Iona MacTavish and Sir Ron Where’sWaldo….

 

8.Corn  jokes….. that is all.  Graham MacTavish is never going to live this down……

mind yer

7. Tobias Menzies has made us like Frank!  Never in a million years did we think this day would ever come (except Karen, she knew) -to most of us- he was always just kind of there – ya know what I mean?  And we thought we hated BJR –  we ALL loath him now!  (And Tobias is a crack up on twitter – luvs ya!)

frank bjr 2

 

6. The Terrific Trio – Ron, Maril, and Terry.  We curtsy to your greatness. What you all have created, let no man divide – or something like that.

trio

 

 

5. Tag-team comic relief – and they’re not Just For Laughs – what shall we call them? Rungus? Angpert?  Sounds like something you’d get at Shoppers Drug Mart for that itch… in that place you’d rather not talk about…from that person you’d never repeat their name.

duo1

Otherwise known as the wisecracking Scottish bridesmaids

 

4. Cast and Crew Twitterplay.  If Sam’s accidental faux pas birthday greeting to Cait and the ensuing day of mirth as the rest of them jumped on board didn’t convince you to join twitter, there’s no talking to ya.  Plus this is a great legal way to stalk. get the lowdown on on all the Outlander-ville gossip and goodies.

 

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3. Caitrona is stunning as Claire.  Nice round bum and all…GirlCrushes abound all over the Heughliots group.

assets

Cause we’re into equal opportunities here…

 

2. Sam IS Jamie!!  No ifs, ands,or ummm butts about it…….. He’s the total package, including his voice….. it’s like butter, with Canadian back bacon wrapped around it….. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

defibrillator Better now? Yeah, I need another shock back too.

sassenach vid pic

Get yer butter heeeeeeeeeere…….

Speak Outlander: Lesson 1

 

Which leads us to the number one Outlandish thing we are Thankful for this year – that One Fine Arse.  It was delivered to Canadian screens just last weekend.  In case you forgot, we found you a reminder… You’re welcome. Could we have shown you complete unblocked version of this fine arse? Well of course we could have. However, we know that your imagination is in full bloom right now and you are trying to move Claire’s hand from the screen and you are trying to look past her nightie. We call this an “interactive” picture.

jamie-butt

SWEET Mary, Joseph and Bride…….

And because we had a hard enough time getting this list down to just ten, we also have an honourable mention:

Yes it’s Claire and her Soberphobia.  Can’t understand the Gaelic? Have a dram…   Can’t warm up? Have a dram…   Can’t wait to get on with the wedding night?  Have a dram, or three….. or eight……

liver

Bottoms Up!!

 

Bob and Doug MacKenzie approve…..

bob and doug

Right on, eh?

Your participation is appreciated.

HAPPY TURKEY D-EH?!

friends-monica-turkey

This blog was brought to you by @tlmfarmgirl  aka Tammy Heughliot Admin

and with general mirth and pic building by SL – Heughliot @large

AB-Ootlander. This Canadian group needed a Mascot. MEET TOGER!

There is a whole lot of talent in our group of Heughliots and I don’t just mean our unending wit and the ability to put our feet behind our heads.

We have artists too. One being Nikki Galenza. Check her out. Her art…well… her too…she is pretty cute!

winkwink

Nikki does some beautiful Outlander inspired stuff. I own some myself.  Don’t attempt to jump through the stone circles on canvas…sigh…it really doesn’t work. Someone told me.

Aaaaaanyway…I thought to myself one day, wouldn’t it be fun to have a mascot for the Heughliots, especially for our AB-Ootlander page. Naturally…it should be a beaver…since we are a group of women…I mean Canadians.

-blinkSo I begged Nikki to make him. She did.  During the creation process, she told me that he looked like a “Roger”…that was cute.  Then I watched a certain episode of Outlander in which Murtagh handed Rupert a chicken leg telling him to wrap his hand around that instead of his “tadger”. Well…so “Toger” was born. (Toger rhymes with Roger…got it now?) Good stuff.

todger2

He is a cute beaver bugger…and we plan on him getting into some trouble.

His BFF’s will be Rupert n Angus for a while.

togerfun

 

If you have any ideas for adventures with Toger, throw them our way – right in our face!

throw

 

 

We also have our own Heughliots store where you can buy Toger inspired goodies. All proceeds do go to the charities Caitriona & Sam support. So shop happy and drink outta a beaver…mug.

Go ahead leave a comment for us 😀

SL

Heughliot @ Large

AB-Ootlander. Canadians melt into puddles over Episode 7. The Wedding.

Melting

Just. Like. That.

Little  and huge puddles splashing all over the place. Why?  Because Showcase finally aired THE Wedding (because if I hadn’t said it yet. Canada is 2 wks behind our American friends) So yeah, the wedding.   You know. THE one between James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser & Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp (pronounced Beecham).  Damn…I keep on puddlin! I need to take a break. No…no break, I like the torture.

This was MY favourite episode. For a few reasons.  None having to do with the sweet sweet Scottish ass we got to witness. Not. At. All.

http://media.giphy.com/media/1TBnbnnZeOgs8/giphy.gif

So we start this episode with a FLASHFRANK.   There they are cute as a button couple walking down Degrassi street. **SideNote** Now…anyone who has a problem with Claire’s body…her backside is perfectly round and full in this shot (and other ones) As a confident heterosexual woman…I have no qualms saying Claire (Cait) has the CUTEST apple bottom.

round bum

We get a 2fer.  Starting with wedding #1.  I liked the change of venue for them…in the book, there is enough room for the coincidences – on TV- its pretty squished so I liked the spontaneity.  I think some didn’t like it because it made them like Frank more. God forbid a TV show delve into character development SHAME on them!

We go from one kiss to the one we have been waiting for! WHAT?  What about the wedding…I can’t see the dress…COME ON…

Sonnuva

Whats GOING on here!?

That WAS my first reaction. My next was…”Ah I see what they are doing here…” and I LIKE it! I like it A LOT.

So the wedding happened but we didn’t see it – we will because – I saw pictures on Twitter and FB and instagram…

They are married and in the room at the inn together.  I must say this…I LOVE LOVE LOVE the lil extras Sam gives us in his role as Jamie.  When he walked into the room with Claire – his fingers were tapping. These subtle little signs are what MAKE HIM JAMIE.

faint2

Can’t. Take. It!

They have some pretty awkward moments at first. Who wouldn’t right? Me…Me. I probably wouldn’t. Unless you call jumping on his face as soon as he walks through the door – awkward.

Bob Hope she calls him…Claire references to her previous life. I can’t wait till she calls him John Wayne! Classic moment on it’s way…maybe. We can never tell what they put in recycling, throw to the curb or reinvent.  It’s kinda fun to guess though!

They need to break this tension, how? Claire has an idea, it involves whisky! I SOOOOO didn’t see that one coming. *that is sarcasm if you didn’t catch it*   The best way to handle any situation is to drink.  Don’t worry, she isn’t an alcoholic…she is soberphobic. Wouldn’t YOU be? Seriously!

claire drinks

They go to their first “story time”…I loved this concept. Since everything has been from Claire’s viewpoint thus far it is pretty cool to see things that happened away from her. First being Dougal telling Jamie he will be the one to marry her…then he goes and gets piggy again. Seriously SideEye…can we have an episode where you stick to ONE personality? Geez!  He is being a total hoser.

Dougal

I can’t help staring at Claire’s boobs. They are pushed WAY up…look like a couple bags of milk bustin out. Yes…bags of milk. I’m not kidding.

They ARE a thing.

They ARE a thing.

Then Jamie says the most amazing things to Claire…you know…like stuff right out of the book! “You have my name, my clan, my family. And if necessary the protection of my body as well”  Ummmmmm YES PLEASE! I feel an immediate danger! Protect me with your BODY! I am not sure if the rest of Canada heard it but I DID…FLUTTERS all around. I don’t mean hearts – I mean panties.

aaaaaaand there they go!

That does it…she finally sits with him on the bed but pulls a serious cock tease move!  Claire…so ashamed. Leans in for a kiss and BOOM! Hey tell me about your family buddy…BLOCKED.blocked

So they talk…and talk….and talk…..and talk some more…they get relaxed again – and Dumb n Dumber come barging in the room. In fact, I love these two. They are checking in on them to make sure they are bangin. But they aren’t and Jamie was sooooo close he gets pretty steamed!

jammf mad

You know we get commercials here in Canada eh? Well there is NO good place to put a commercial in a show like this one.  They also take time to give us our “warnings” 6 times per show.  I hope they realize these warning are more like invitations.  It’s all about perspective.

nudetweet

In fact. We look FORWARD to all the things in their warnings.

They move into “bed time”.  Jamie is so accommodating.  You know offering to unwrap her n everything. It gets hot…so hot that I really think that I forgot to breathe in points – either that or I was holding my breath so I could pass out and go to dreamland. You know, Jamie lives there.

Alas – I gasp. Still alive but barely! They start the first go round. He still has his boots on – she is still wearing her stockings – it’s his first time ever and well…she starts off strong – so does he- but things happen sooooo fast. Too fast for Claire eh?

champagne

 

quick draw tweet

They have the exchange I loved in the book. I think EVERYONE was waiting for it and Sam & Cait played it sooooo perfectly. “Thought you must do it, the back way, like horses.”  Nah…she won’t laugh…none of us will laugh!

laughing-animals-horseO.K., the horse laughed but the horse is an arsehole.

We go through lots of emotions here. Jamie asks if she liked it and she gives him a look like….ummmmmm…She liked it fine I think, she just didn’t finish liking it is all.  She gets flustered because she feels like she is some sort of turned on biagmist/adultress. Sorry Claire, even as the debate is waged online. I would stand up in the House of Commons and say “Claire is absolved! Her FLASHFRANK isn’t even alive yet.” Technicality sister!

Then she tries to escape into the tavern full of men because she was feeling uncomfortable. So SURE, head on into a room full of half drunk scots while you are dressed in nothin but your shift. For REAL this time. Erect-i-Nipp-i for all!  Jamie knows what she is getting into so HE jumps in front and takes the heat for her. She scurried back into the room alone- probably went back in the room and rubbed one out- a girl has to finish! Probably why she got tense.

Jamie takes the heat, gets some food then has to deal with SideEye…seriously…Dougal, your jealous is hanging out!  So glad for Rupert n Angus & their comic relief.

 

The next while of The Wedding episode has to be some of the most FRUSTRATING moments in TV …EVER.   They get close…and then..Claire changes the subject…they get close….Claire changes the subject!

near far

Sweet jeezus, I love the way they are doing this story but it’s making me just a lil crazy cray!

Each time we cut to the wedding planning, my heart skips a beat…I can’t get enough of the wedding night but want to see all the stuff leading up to it. I am like a teenage girl! I WANT IT ALL! NOW! There is no in between…its HYSTERIA. Plain and simple!

The emotion in the episode, the sticking to the book & the new pieces.  I just am enveloped in all sorts of emotion.

drowning

Jamie gives Dougal 3 conditions to his marrying Claire. Can I tell you what this did to me? I felt like a fat kid stuffing their face with cake…could not get enough.  I call moments like this…Triple THUD moments.  You don’t stop with one…it’s the gift that keeps on giving.

Good Shudder

First, must be married in a church…with a priest.  That scene was fricken funny. SMOUT- close enough to trout, is quickly becoming one of my go to words. Thanks SideEye!

Second, sending the dynamic duo to get a key made into a ring. Some were VERRA upset by the new ring. It was NOT in the book…I am really not sure when people are going to get this through their purdy lil heads but THIS is NOT the BOOK. This is an adaptation…ad-apt-tation. Definition – the act of  making suitable to requirements or conditions; adjust or modify fittingly.  This means change. Change is not a bad thing, in fact, I think it has been a good thing.  It keeps the story fresh for those of us who have been reading it for over 20 years. Everything  good isn’t exactly how each individual person imagines it because well…yeah think about that.  Ron Moore is the show runner, this means he has final say over each storyline, the direction things take…frankly…I think he has done a great job of it.

SIDETRACKED! Annnnnywhooooo, Rupert & Angus are a couple of the funniest wedding planners ever.  They act like an old married couple, which I adore.duoThey head to the local Canadian Tire to get their key cut.  I just want to say they got WAY faster service than I did the last time.

Last condition was up to Ned. He had to get a dress…Hmmmm…where oh where does one get a fancy dress for a beautiful bride? RIGHT! First place I thought too. HoooooooorHouse! The tale that went along with it was a delightful one. You can imagine the Lord in question. “Super super randy here ladies but I lost all my money at dice but I know how a hoooooor loves to play dress up and I have this one of a kind gown thats for my…ummmm…wife but since SHE isn’t here…I have to put it somewhere!” Take your pick as to what I am referring to.  Of course, Ned couldn’t leave without putting his own somewhere. That would just be a waste for him…one for you (Jamie/gown), one for me (hooooooor young enough to be your grandbaby…old pervy Ned)

NOW…its the recap of the recap of The Wedding.  THAT man is BEAUTIFUL.  He cleans up sooooo good.

jammf wed

So much aweSAM in this screencap

 

Of course, Claire – stunning. The dress…WOW, that dress. Apparently they had to rig up a golf cart to get the poor woman around and as beautiful as the dress was, Cait isn’t too keen on ever seeing it again.  I must say though, girlfriend…you and the girls…LOOKED GREAT! People complained about how squished they were, how painful it must have been etc…as a holder of small boobies (my own…not my neighbours), you can squish these suckers into next week and if I look stacked- I’d deal.

The did the blood vow. Listening to them recite those lines…Blood of my blood…there is just so much a girl can take you know.

chicken-lady-mall-o

About THAT much

Oh, maybe I blew up too soon…Premature Explosion.  They are back in the room & Jamies buttery tongue has gotten Claire all twisted up. She tells him to get NEKKID!

WOW. WOW. & WOW.

arse

Watching the way their relationship unfolded here was INCREDIBLE.  Exploring and learning one another…Claire teaching Jamie the joys of oral sex.  You know…you imagine that face for 20 yrs & all of a sudden…there it is. In all is O-having glory.  I think that I probably caused myself permanent eye damage for not blinking the whole damn scene. Anyone wanna share their Visine w me? I look like I’ve been smokin a dube. Red irritated eyes.

Then…what does the man do? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Typical.  What WAS nice to see was the lil smile that crossed Jamie’s face as he did it. NOT so typical and why I know Sam was born to play this roll.

pass out2

Claire heads down for a jug of water…she needs hydrating and well…probably has some lingering aftertaste she wants to rinse from her mouth.  (I didn’t see a spit bucket).  She bumps into Dougal, who tried to invite her to go to Doucheville but he was DENIED!  Rupert ends up getting a mouth full of Dougal (…HIS FIST…geez….come OUTTA the gutter.) because he made some bawdy comments about Claire & Jamie. It’s not like THAT’S his thing or anything. Sheesh SideEye…you are sooooome testy! Maybe you should go visit the hoooooorhouse or the stables.

Oh never mind…the gutter is fine…it’s quite comfortable in here.

They are back in the quiet of the room. Jamie wakes to see Claire sitting in the candle light, he is nekkid and gets out of bed…but WHOEVER does the lighting for this show obviously doesn’t realize we are in the DARK and can’t see his…feet.  He reached into his sporran and pull out….

a pearl necklace. You are doing it wrong JAMMF.  Oh come on…who DIDN’T think that?  Oh…you…well maybe this isn’t the right blog for you then.

He starts talking about his Mom…how precious…he just needs to keep talking because that is what gets this girl going.

They make love. True. Sweet. Tender. Love.

SO crushed with the feels…so crushed.

Seriously some of the best scenes EVER.

Now…last scene puts us with Claire, alone in the room, happily getting ready for the day.  Starts her workout by shaking out the dress and clink clink roll!  Yup, the gold wedding ring from FLASHFRANK goes across the floor, reminding her and us of her other life.

lose this

Claire ends the show, starting at her hands where the two rings circle her ring fingers.  One gold, one key…two eras, two lives…

What the girl needs now…is a DRINK! yes

See you next week for the mid season finale! Noooooooooooooooo

doh

SL

Heughliot @ large