That is the thing about feelings though? Isn’t it? We don’t always expect them, they can tap us on the shoulder and smack us in the face, when they are so visceral, they really pack a wallop. They are supposed to. That is what I am going to focus on this time…emotions. Not because this episode made *me* feel so many but due to how our Outlander family was expressing them…or not.
The scene we open with is cataclysmic. I assure you; Malva is going to get her own blog, she deserves it. Claires face was a perfect representation of the horror and disgust most of us would be feeling…(some of us…more than others) against the depravity of Alan Christie’s characters admissions.
Let me swing back to how we experience the emotion of episode two. It is intense, resistant, and consuming but the most important thing that Outlander showed us was – the ones who were able to take a deep breath and move to the next place – FELT the emotion. It is important that we saw this and even more important than we implement it in our own lives.
The moments we needed the most consolation watching Outlander during THPOE were plentiful. It started straight off the top. Hearing and seeing the terror that was Malva’s life was brutal yet, as someone who experienced childhood sexual assault, this show once again highlighted the inner world of the victim not the act itself. This is meaningful, for those who suffered at the hands of another. It says “We see you.” That is likely why those who haven’t faced the healing or those who have no idea what it is like to go through something like that, are always so angered by the presence of sexual assault in this show. It is a way to ignore that it happens far more frequently than we want to face. It is in these ways, with shows like this that help give victims a voice beyond their own. “We aren’t going to gloss over your experience for the comfort of those who don’t want to see the reality of your world.”
I shed those tears in empathy and particularly gratitude.
We moved straight into hope filled tears, didn’t we? Brianna giving birth to wee Mandy was incredibly portrayed. I am so glad to see the truth of childbirth depicted. It’s not about the comfort of anyone but the Mamma, midwives know this but modern (I use the term loosely) medical practices have shifted to focus on efficiency and the comfort of those in attendance. Backward af. The tears we shared during that moment would depend on our own life experiences. A portion will have cried because they have never had the experience portrayed on screen, others cried because they have and they can no longer hold that child and those who are brought back to a moment or something they desire or miss. There will be a number who have no idea why it impacted them, those secrets are locked deep in their subconscious. One day, perhaps be unlocked with conscious intention.
When we see Jamie whispering to wee Mandy in the barn…this is another emotional moment. We feel for Jamie, that he missed doing this with his own daughter, those emotions stir something that is longing for that connection, in us. Feeling those emotions is necessary. The scene changes to Claire, also connecting with Mandy and then, we see it. Something is wrong with the baby causing fear and worry to bubble up. This is something most of us can identify with. Worry about a loved one? Feeling helpless because we are not all doing and or all knowing. The expectation we place on ourselves and others becomes unreachable due to our fear.
We have those moments in time, that come to life…both the things we long for and those we fear. The meeting between Brianna and William was surely one of those. Each character bringing with them something personal and private. William, as much as he adores the only father he has ever known is itching to grow into his own person. Brianna, likely believing she would never meet her brother face to face, searched his face. It harkened back to the “can’t you tell?” line she used when meeting Jamie. Everyone believing it’s best to supress the knowledge that would surely bring overwhelming emotions from William finding out his bloodline. Lord John, the consummate pragmatist, knows the goal is to keep up the pretence of the 9th Earl of Ellesmere. We often believe we are doing something for the good of another, yet, it’s the very thing that harms them the most. Another note on how we can never know someone’s inner world unless they share it with us.
The scene between long time best friends, Jamie and LJG was intense and intimate. Can I say how brilliantly these two men held the space for one another? Showing us that love and sadness come in all shapes, sizes and gender. There was one thing I heard across the fandom and it was “I wish they had hugged!” Yes…that is the repair we would love to get in on, at this time here are two men stretched FAR beyond what their era usually allows. Sharing their regard for one another, helping and ultimately protecting one another. That, to these men…was a hug. It didn’t supply the feel-good hormones a real hug does, but it certainly allowed them to feel what it is to be cared for. It is an important thing, love, no matter who you share it with.
The fireflies and Disneyland introduced us to the kind of emotion we reserve for those closest to us but perhaps should look further afield for connections like this. Jamie didn’t get to form any memories of his daughter as a little girl. All he has are moments like this, sharing stories of the way life was for her. Bree didn’t just tell Jamie about the things they had in Disneyland, she explained how it made her feel. The emotion and the magic. It is why Jamie asked if his time was disappointing. It makes a great deal of sense to presume this after hearing the delight and wonder in Bree’s recapturing of the childhood she recalled. He had only her account to go on, so hearing her tell him “You are magical to me.” This let him know, those feelings of warmth, comfort and happiness, she had for him, now, and would always. Just as she has those perfect childhood moments, her life since meeting him has been enriched. The knowing of such things, brings more love and happiness.
It makes me believe even more in the human capacity to accept such gifts. Opening ourselves not only to share the things we feel but to hear, accept and feel what others are saying to us.
We have dealt with many goodbyes on Outlander. I will say, this was the mother of all goodbyes. When I say mother, I mean it. If it were not for a mother’s love, this vehemence of love, protection and determination, the emotion we witnessed simply wouldn’t exist. Claire, knows who she is, and she is not a doctor or mother or wife as much as she is a human doing the very best she can. She understands her place in the world and because of that confidence and ability, she is able to make those difficult choices. Knowing telling Bree about Mandy’s heart condition and that someone in the future could fix it, but not her, not now…was selfless. Not something everyone would do. Some mothers would rather hold onto their control and try to manipulate the situation for their benefit, to avoid more hurt in their soul. It is when we see Brianna, following in her mother’s shoes that brings us to our knees. There are many parents who talk about how hard parenting children is, and yes, it can be trying, yet there are few who speak about parenting adults. They often still expect you to fix the things that you know are not in your control while wanting with everything you are to be sure they are happy. Though Brianna is now a mother, she is also Claire’s daughter, that attachment never goes away for a mother. It may change to a more secure and understood attachment, if we are lucky. It is having the ability to see that our adult children are their own person, with their own experiences and life while still being their safe space to come back to for love and support.
The thing about our mothers though, whether we like it or not they created us. Literally from nothing, to a living human person. It isn’t only what they ate and drank that made us who we are. It was their hopes, dreams, worries and stress. All of those pieces of them are interwoven into our neurology and genetics. Even considering Brianna is 200 years away, she carries her mother within her cells.
The moment where Claire is searching for comfort was powerful. What is so important about this scene is she was searching for connection. With Jamie and Claire, that connection often is shown in the form of sexual intimacy. What we saw this time, was so much more real and raw. There was a life/love lesson in this moment. The connection Claire needed was repair. As much as Bree is a part of her mother, having Bree changed Claire. It changes all of us, on a cellular level. As we are creating this whole new human, our blood, our bones and ligaments and most importantly, our brain changes. When it comes to saying goodbye, we feel this physically and emotionally. The best way to heal from hurt like this is with love. For ourselves, for those around us. Crying is our body’s autonomic reaction to emotional pain, doing that alone, leaves us feeling isolated and bereft. What Jamie did was exactly what all of us need, someone to open their arms, tell us to feel all those feelings. We shouldn’t stuff them down or ignore them because they take root in our bodies, feeling them is the only way we feel whole. Our emotions that go unprocessed or processed in an unhealthy way…always come back to haunt us.
I used to watch Faith if I needed a cry – well – Episode 2 of Season 7 has taken over that spot. The catharsis of a well-placed sobfest is highly underrated.
What we see and what we show, both are choices we make. Some of the time they are conscious but very often our subconscious compels the choice for us. Personal bias, life experience and past judgements skew our perception of what we see. It becomes a dance of our closely guarded secrets along with the desire to influence, determining what we expose.
What we ‘think’ we see isn’t always the truth.
This has been both beautifully subtle throughout the first half of Season 6 of Outlander and ‘smash you in your whole damn face’ obvious, at the same time.
It screams of what is going on in the world as well as my journey over the last few years. I found myself drawn to sit and write; this could be a doozy. You may want to grab a snack and cuppa of something strong.
Dram or twelve…you know the deal.
Our favourite drama sucked us in with a 1753 flashback of Jamie first arrived at Ardsmuir Prison. The wary man simply wanted to bide his time of misery. Having lost everything that meant anything to him, he was entirely over it. He had played every game, he was done like dirt. Us Outlander fans love them a duuurty Jamie. Not dirty enough for some fans but I digress.
You missed me…I know you did.
Ferrrrgus (he makes me purr, I can’t help myself). What was happening with Fergus is something that we may see in ourselves, and loved ones and I promise, this is something we will project onto others fully when our personal lens is clouded.
Once proud, capable, and steadfast, his confidence in his ability to protect his family was shattered. It didn’t only shift or crack. For Fergus, it was not only his wife he failed to protect, it was his children, living and unborn…it was also his mother. Fergus may not use maternal language when referring to her, nevertheless, she has that motherly connection with him. If we go back to the season finale and look at César’s performance, if we weren’t so sucked into the brilliance of the episode, we would have seen his despair unfolding. Fergus was fragmenting more every moment we saw him.
César Domboy’s performance at the end of season 5 was so subtle, it’s only when we go back after seeing his performance in season 6, we can truly appreciate it’s nuance. The coming storm cloud hanging over him in the shot of the family *chefs kiss*.
What was happening with Fergus on the inside, didn’t stay there like many other characters this season. Feeling useless and worth nothing, his mission became to ensure everyone else saw him the same way. This is another means by which we punish ourselves when we believe we are a failure. It isn’t enough to punish ourselves, we create chaos around us to have others validate how shitty we are. It becomes a perpetual cycle of self-flagellation. In turn, others will wind up telling us how horrible we are because of it. Cycle completed.
There was a fatal flaw in Fergus’s logic. He was loved completely. No one blamed him for the things he blamed himself for. It was how Fergus was externalizing his self-hatred that grew sinister. This happens to many of us. When we are aware of a ‘tender spot’ subconsciously we will begin to create our story. He knew Marsali’s history of violence due to an alcoholic father. What better way to poison her against him? It would surely complete his pursuit of isolation and bring about his wife hating him. Then she would surely admit the attack on her, Henri-Christian’s disability was his fault. Claire’s kidnapping, beating and rapes, were all his fault. Once she hated him, as she hated her alcoholic father, she would admit it all. All these things can and do happen in our subconscious minds.
Fergus wasn’t wrong. Marsali did see her father in this messy and drunk Fergus. What she also knew was that version of Fergus wasn’t the man she married, loved or who he truly was deep down. She was giving him the grace to heal but she wasn’t going to tolerate his shittiness around her or their family any longer.
And there ya go…You just got Marsalified.
Marsali loves him, and setting a boundary with him proved that more than allowing him to continue the self-destructive behaviour. She Marsali’d him straight upside the head. There is only so much a woman who has recently given birth to a disabled child, has other children to raise and a household to deal with will be emotionally and physically able to tolerate. She did precisely what she needed to do. Protect herself. It wasn’t easy, but at that moment, she stopped a cycle of generational trauma in her life. There would be no more tolerating a man putting their trauma responses above the family unit. This is something that we all can sit with for a while.
The things that make us go hmmmm…ahhh…wait wha?!
Suicide is never an easy subject to talk about. It should make us feel uncomfortable. It’s heartbreaking we could get to a place where we feel the answer is to end the pain we feel. Treating the subject with anything less than empathy and compassion would be callous. The Outlander writers handled Fergus’s suicide attempt as genuinely and touching as possible.
Fergus lost sight of the man he was. He accomplished seeing himself as the nothing he felt, through others’ eyes. Even had convinced himself into wanting his wife to find a ‘whole’ man by twisting Marsali’s words to validate the action he was about to take. When someone chooses to die in this manner it isn’t done without a great deal of thought – yet – it is often done on impulse. That is why having Jamie catch him in the act and being able to articulate the logic of it isn’t what he does… it’s who he IS, that matters. It struck home. Fergus realized then the person he was drowning with booze was the *who* he was referring to. The man he was punishing for not being there was the one they needed. That was the Fergus that was emerging. Fergus was able to see the man his father was speaking about reflected in his eyes. He felt that man still existed within him and that is why he held on.
Thank all the little children and Jamie’s sliding down hills in kilts.
We can take many lessons from Fergus’s story into our own lives. Hurt people…hurt people. When we think someone is doing horrible things to us and we react in anger, maybe, just maybe they are hurting and are punishing themselves – inviting you to do the same. It could be you are doing that to yourself, right now.
Speaking of hurt ass people…whoooaaa. The whole Crusty Christie family has a “there is something WRONG with you people” vibe.
I am going to put Jessica Reynolds on BLAST. As Malva, the 5’2” actress manages to circumvent all obstacles in her way, read…men of ANY size. Mark Lewis Jones, nearly 5’10” and Richard Rankin at 6 ft, this girl didn’t cause them to shrink at her looks of defiance or threats. She grew over them, the measure of her nefarious strength washed upon them and engulfs each moment.
As fans, we are shook’th! As we bring our judgement of Malva to moments that would seem inconsequential, they become disconcerting. It was bad enough she was creeping on Jamie and Claire having barn sex. The directors’ skilful choice in showing her hike herself up on her tippy toes caused fandom-wide goosebumps. It not only elevated Malva’s view of the twosome – it took the viewer to another level of shudderhood.
I am sure by the time the season wraps I will have a TOP TEN BUTTCHEEKCLENCHING MALVA’SPRESSIONS. Easy. I might not even be able to narrow it down to 10. It might have to be a desk calendar. I look forward to it either way. She WILL get her own blog post. Eventually.
This girl glares, gazes, starts fires…
What makes the Christies fascinating in the lens of what we see/what is shown/ how we perceive them is that we know very little of their personal experiences. We are left to assumptions. Oh and we ASS- U – ME, don’t we?
Tom, for instance. He likes to believe he is this holier than thou dude. When, in fact, he feels the same feels any other human does, instead of feeling them, processing them, and moving forward he chooses to suppress/deny them. Moreover, he swiftly takes out his frustration for those feelings, out on his daughter. That somehow is the punishment he looks for. Let’s make it clear, Tom Christie is the poster boy for projection. Tom absurdly thinks he can stop Malva from becoming the kind of woman that tempts a pure-minded/hearted man such as himself *eye-roll*. He, being the one who obviously could not read a few words in a book without feeling impulses and urges.
Imagine though? Using ones intelligence to say “These feelings are natural, not evil. It is what I do with the feelings that will make me a good or bad person.” This guy denies the feelings and is off trying to beat them out of someone else. Pretty damn evil, bro. How about accepting the feelings, expressing those feelings with love and consent…good? So, good.
That is why Claire seems an enigma to ole Tom. He was under the impression she was good. Then, he read this smut…and he thought of her. That’s right. He didn’t think better of her, he thought OF her. That is why he was fuming. His body and his mind are taken over by the sensations evoked by the words. He was baffled by his thoughts of this woman and the reaction of his body. But nooooo, not HIS fault. So he literally turns to lashing the one female he believes he controls, his go-to. You know, how about Tom take responsibility for his own emotes? No? Too real? I get it.
I am going to take a moment to speak on this as I feel it is pertinent to my view. I have always felt, even reading the books, that there is an unspoken truth to sexual violence when it comes to those who want to overpower others. Some speak of “too much rape” – I, too, am of the mind that there IS too much rape. In real life. Rape takes place every day, more than any of us will ever see on TV. That is why it is uncomfortable, triggering and upsetting. We do more ranting about rape that happens on TV and in books than we do about rape that happens in real life. I’ve heard it said it is ridiculous that every member of a family would be raped. It isn’t. Generational trauma is a very real thing, trauma response and reaction are conduits for this exact thing. It not only happens in one family, it happens in generations of families until it’s finally revealed, discussed openly and healed. For me, It’s about honesty in storytelling. Sexual violence would be no more a plot device than a fire, death, traumatic birth, murder, betrayal, or any other tragedy that occurs when storytellers are being truthful within the scope of a dramatic narrative.
In the case of Claire’s kidnapping, she is taken by men who want to see her shredded, torn to the last vestige of nothingness. A man who thinks nothing of raping his own wife would feel no remorse. As Lionel showed, he deemed he was within his rights to take her, teach her a lesson and give her away. As I saw things, it wouldn’t be sincere if that wasn’t a part of the kidnapping tale. There is something about suspending belief and fantasy about time travel, big houses but not that. Not that kind of base human behaviour of evil. This is how people, women, in particular, have been torn down and controlled for centuries. Do I hate it? Of course. It’s happened to me…it’s reprehensible. I recognize the need to share these moments with care, as Outlander has done through the years. It is why I was grateful to see they raised the stakes in Claire’s ongoing trauma from the many rapes. This shouldn’t have gone away quietly.
I am fascinated by Claire this season. I was curious as to how they would handle her PTSD in addition to her resumed sexual relationship with Jamie. My triggered heart was soothed in so many ways. The way both Caitríona and Sam are playing their characters this season is filled with nuance and almost a bubble wrap of care. Claire isn’t sharing all of her pain with Jamie because she can’t. She isn’t capable of doing that. There is something about trauma that many people don’t understand. Claire even voiced it very well last season as she went through a list of her many traumas, stating they never broke her. The reality is, they all still live within her. She never would have been able to rattle them off with such passion if they didn’t. These complex traumas build up in us and when something massive comes along, we don’t have any more room to hold them. It isn’t that we aren’t strong enough or we have been strong too long. We need to heal. Everything.
It’s not easy for anyone. I love that is being represented.
We all want to scream and shake her by the shoulders “TELL JAMIE ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL”, this is us speaking from a place of observation. We aren’t considering her suffering. The fear, the pain, the confusion, and the need to fix it herself. This isn’t Claire’s pride, this is Claire’s wound. It’s still wide open and healing. For her to say it out loud for someone to hear, especially the people she loves, the ones that count on her…she would fully become the wound in everyone’s eyes, right now, it’s controlled. Within her.
She shows everyone the Claire she needs them to see. Bree sees pieces of herself in her mother, not because Claire is showing her but because Bree recognises the behaviour she once projected. Jamie isn’t seeing what is wrong, not because he is too preoccupied but because he doesn’t recognise it. He also needs Claire to be ok. Claire blows sunshine up his kilt and he takes it. It is what we do for the people we love the most, on both sides of the coin.
When we face tough times and we know our partners have a lot going on…you know, like building communities, facing down an unavoidable war and being the king of men ‘n shit. The last thing we want to do is take their eye off the ball with us falling apart since we know they will drop it to take care of us. We don’t tell them because A) we are too proud B) don’t think we deserve it C) don’t believe it’s as important as all the other stuff. Claire, amazing as she is, is not a singular being in her trauma. What does make her unique is…she has ether. Truly a magic pill of sorts. I’m not sure it was altogether an accident that she perfected it at this time. Claire was in search of something not only to add to her surgery but something, anything that could assist in turning off an inner voice. The one that repeatedly haunts her and takes her back to the centre of her trauma.
We are reminded that Claire’s trauma doesn’t only lay at the clearing with Lionel and his sorry excuse for men. It lies in the many times she had been sexually assaulted. Being triggered at Flora’s party by the mention of the King was a profound bit of writing. This rape was often overlooked. Some argue it isn’t rape because she gave consent. The truth of the matter is consent without a resounding yes, is not consent. Consent that is manipulated, bargained for, coerced or bought is not consent. Observationally, someone may SEE it as consent. When the person EXPERIENCING the act feels they are being raped, which is what matters. It is not just happening to their body, it is happening to their brain, their gut, and their heart. It is rewiring their system. It’s why people who get sexually assaulted vomit afterwards, it’s a brain/gut connect reaction. It is why they feel a need to get clean, scrub the feeling OUT of them.
For those who do not understand being triggered, that can be the same sensation that takes over the body. It brings them to the same place of fear and panic. These are the moments that Claire reaches for her escape. It isn’t because she is weak or selfish. It is because she is in the middle of that clearing, the middle of King Louis’ bed, bent over Black Jacks desk and and and…ether is her quickest way out…for now.
When we see others in distress like this, we may have a low tolerance for their inability to cope. We may let our high expectations combined with our desire for them to be ‘better than that’ create a narrative that they are worse or somehow less than. The truth is, our observation doesn’t match their experience. They are filled with panic, fear and chaos and desperate to stop it. Addicts don’t become addicts due to personality flaws. We should ask ourselves what someone is trying to escape from not judge them for wanting to escape a debilitating pain.
I love this quote so much.
I observed some conversations referencing it would be better if the writers had made her a “drunk” along with Fergus. I found that theory interesting given that Claire’s remaining present, for the most part. Her need is to turn out the lights, to reset, a few seconds here or there. She drinks on the regular as it is. She wouldn’t be able to keep utter intoxication from anyone, for their safety or hers. The ether has been discreet enough to resist if she needs to and she has shown she does.
What many viewers fail to appreciate is we genuinely see things through the lens of our own experiences. It sometimes gets us stuck. Some see Jamie and Claire in a bad place right now because Claire is struggling and Jamie seems clueless. Truth being, Claire wants him unaware of this one thing. She is communicating with him, sharing laughter and connecting sexually. Those encounters are not merely for show, not only to make Jamie feel like everything is peachy in pound town. They are also there for Claire’s healing. She needs that connection with the man she loves. Her distress doesn’t always involve him but she knows how he can help her and she is incredibly adept and utilizing his skills. Telling him everything would cause him to treat her like a victim, and for Claire to heal with Jamie, she can not feel like that. Not yet.
Jamie isn’t being obtuse or neglectful. He is picking up everything that Claire is putting down for him. Exactly how she wants/needs him to. The thing that makes it different is, it’s not complete. She leaves out the information that she is still processing, trying to work through, the stuff that she knows he can’t help her with.
I wish we would grant her that…hell…I wish we would grant ourselves that. We ALL do it. We hold onto shit that we are going through. WHEN do we end up sharing it? A) When we finally realize we CAN’T fix it alone – after we’ve tried everything on our own. B) We’ve hit bottom and have no choice. C) We fixed it and the scare has passed. D) Processing has been accomplished, we require love, support, and family to commence cuddle warfare.
Bring it in…it’s time!
I do hope we see the reason we get upset when a character like Claire becomes all too human rarely is about her. It is almost always about us. That’s why we are so completely invested, it is all about the emotional connection we create. We have made it personal. Why wouldn’t we? Sure…it’s a TV show, it is a TV show that we write blogs about, do podcasts on, tweet about daily, create friendships, travel to meet others, meme to death, meet the cast, support their charities with our hard-earned dollar bills and absolutely LOVE. It is no wonder at all that we get so wrapped up in the characters and how they are portrayed.
The idea of having Outlander suit the wants and desires of fans quickly becomes impractical when reality strikes that “we” as viewers are in the millions, around the world. We made this beautiful choice to be seen, heard and engage with one another. I am infinitely grateful the majority do with kindness, respect and thoughtfulness. I am also grateful that I get to be a part of a group that chooses to voice their opinions and thoughts. We are small in comparison to the viewership but damn it is fun!
I was right…this WAS a doozy. I hope you are still awake.
Josiah and Kezzie have long held a special place in my heart from the books. I find their arcs, heartwarming and entertaining. I, like many other fans anxiously waited for the announcement of their casting. On November 13 2019 , that happened. Paul Gorman would be playing both roles. This young man’s photo shone from the Outlander Starz page, eyes blue and piercing, jaw set and strong. I did what most Outlander fans do when a new name pops up, hit up the google machine to see what I could see. The face looking back from his InstaGram was very different, smiles so big and bright they literally hit his eyes to make them shine. That expression “Their smile lights up a room” – that’s Paul.
I admit, I felt like I hit a double jackpot when Paul happily accepted my invitation to take part in this project of mine meant to help fans through a very long Droughtlander.
Soooo dry…
Watchers were introduced to Josiah in the first episode of Season 5 but it was episode 3, called Free Will that we first saw Josiah and Keziah together on screen. The performance and the technology allowed fans to see the depth of this young man’s talent and how Outlander was dedicated to showing how important the twins will be to the ridge. It was wonderful to see production weren’t going to be constantly showing them separated.
On screen together, Josiah and Keziah. (Photo lightened to show the character contrast)
I hope you enjoy getting to know Paul as I have. He shows us Outlander casting doesn’t only pick the best actor for the job, they also choose those who fit into the family they have created on set.
Welcome to my little corner of the interwebs, Paul. I’m grateful that agreed to allow me to interview you.Hi Sherry, thank you so much for inviting me to be a part of The Lovelander Project!
I want to congratulate you on your graduation from the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland, a huge accomplishment…thank you for the well wishes, RCS has had a massive impact on me as an actor and as an individual which I’m extremely grateful for and I still can’t believe I graduated around this time last year!
Can you tell us a little about where you grew up?I was born in Rutherglen, which is just 15 minutes outside of Glasgow in the south of the city, and between there and Cambuslang is where I went to school. I was raised by my Mum and Dad, and grew up alongside my younger sister Gabrielle who is currently training to be a primary teacher.
Sounds idyllic. Where do you believe those first interests and sparks of performance were lit?When I was younger I was mainly into music and football, it wasn’t until the final years of high school that I began to have a keen interest in acting, I primarily attribute that to my school and the amazing teachers I had there. In my 5th year, they had decided to put on a school show, the first one the school had done. The show was “We Will Rock You” based on the music by Queen. My interest in performing had been sparked by the band and taking Drama as a class in the earlier years of school so I gave the audition a go and got the part of ‘Britney Spears’, the leader of a gang of music rebels who had taken the name from what he thought was a rock legend lost to time. The whole experience of doing the show, from rehearsals to working on the character to that feeling of being part of an ‘ensemble’, being part of a team, working from nothing to creating something palpable and visceral that had an effect on those that watched it – I loved every minute of it. And of course, a high school production based on the music of an 80’s rock band might not change the world, but it offered a sense of escapism and euphoria for everyone in that room for a brief while. After I turned 17 that summer I attended an open day at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland and realised I could make a career of doing what I loved, so from then on I decided to give it a shot. I attended college for two years where my passion and adoration for acting matured, and at the end of those two years I was lucky enough to be accepted to the RCS. But I completely owe it to my teachers at high school who organised and supported that first show, without them I would never have discovered what I loved so I’m incredibly grateful.
I found a little something online called “Imperial City” with a pretty sweet grind, with you at the head…I enjoy some punk/grunge…even if my terminology has to be grandfathered in.Oh my God, I can’t believe you managed to track down the remnants of Imperial City, I commend your research efforts!
You gotta love him.
I was around 14 when we first started the band, back then we were called “Post Paradise” but by the time I was 16 we changed it to “Imperial City” due to the fact that there was an Australian band called “Paradise Post” and we didn’t want our many fans (our mates from school) to get confused, so we stole the name from an Elder Scrolls game. I honestly had the time of my life playing in that band, and the band I played in after “Atlas”. As “Imperial City” went, we were most definitely NOT the best punk band in Glasgow but we just had a ton fun: playing covers we wanted to play (mainly Green Day and Foo Fighters), we gigged at our local UC Youth Centre and got to play some iconic venues around Glasgow like the Barrowlands and The Garage and we always had our friends from school turning up to support us. It was honestly just such a good laugh and being in the band was such an informative and thrilling experience, it was a real confidence-building journey for me that directly fed into my turn to acting.
Nothing better for the soul than confidence!
It goes to show you had that drive and confidence much earlier than many, it seems to have served you very well… In terms of music, it was my first year at high school. My Dad plays guitar and he got me into it, then there was a “guitar club” ran by Mr. Miller who was one of the music teachers and along with a growing love of punk and rock music it inspired us to get the band together. The band was so influential in giving me confidence and helping me come out of my shell, I was quite a shy and timid kid, and by being in it helped me find my voice and gave me a positive and creative outlet during my teenage years. The love and passion for acting came a bit later, although I did have an early acting stint at 4 years old when I played a sheep in the nursery nativity so maybe the acting seeds were sown then? No idea haha!
😂 Aww a sheep…I don’t think it suits anymore. Had you heard of Outlander prior to your auditioning for the role? I had definitely heard about Outlander before auditioning for the show! Outlander, both the books and the tv series, has had a massive and profound effect for Scotland in terms of: bringing people to Scotland’s shores for the first time, encouraging discussion all over the world of Scotland’s history and introducing our culture (past and present) to those who don’t know much about us, and so much more! It has also been positive for Scotland’s film and television industry, employing hundreds of crew members and creatives, and has helped many Scottish-born actors break into the industry, so to be asked to join the cast of the show was such a privilege and I’m very grateful for it being my first job.
It’s an impressive accomplishment, you should be very proud.What was the audition process like for you? Tell us all the deets.The auditions I had during Outlander were a part of an incredibly supportive process and were so informative and enlightening for me as a young actor and this is solely down to the devoted casting teams of Suzanne Smith and Simone Pereira Hind. It was my first audition just after my drama school showcase and it involved reading some extracts from Josiah and Kezzie’s story arc. Both casting directors encouraged to explore and play with the text, while also being extremely sensitive and supportive to the work we were doing and it was honestly just such a fun and creative experience. Later on in the recall stages I had to travel down to London and I remember turning up waaaay too early for the audition so I remember kicking about North London listening to David Bowie while running lines for both characters to pass the time, some onlookers were definitely intrigued by the raving, dancing Scotsman playing two characters in the middle of the street. The London recall involved a ‘chemistry test’ with Caitlin, who plays Lizzie, who was amazing to audition with. She was so encouraging and all my pre-audition nerves left me when we started the scene as she is so giving as an actor, completely selfless and full of spontaneity, an acting partner’s dream! We did three scenes in total, continually working on both Josiah and Kezzie with our director Stephen Woolfenden, and that was us done!
We love us some Caitlin around here too, it’s a not so secret wish of mine to have her take part in The LOVELANDER Project, not gonna lie. It quite thrills me to hear you were brought together to test. **And sidenote for all of you reading, of course I asked what scenes they they did in the audition, and of course Paul wouldn’t say.He isn’t going to give up ALL the goods in one interview – he is a sweetheart but no pushover.**
We can’t expect him to give us everything…nope nope nope.
What was that experience of finding out you had earned the role…ummm…roles like? I had just finished a radio class at RCS, I remember checking my phone and seeing I had a couple of missed calls from my agent, so I walked up to the top floor of the building which is usually quite empty, gave him a ring back and that’s when he told me I got the job! I recall just feeling completely overwhelmed, yet so excited to start my first job and also just extremely grateful to have been given this opportunity. I also remember feeling a slight hesitation about accepting as well due to the nature of playing Kezzie. At RCS, I have been extremely fortunate to meet and work alongside many deaf actors as the school offers a BA Performance course in BSL and English, and my hesitancy came from accepting the role of a deaf/hard of hearing character knowing the experiences of my friends struggling to find roles themselves. I met up and discussed with a couple of the actors on the course, along with lecturers who taught on it, about the nature of the role and if it was acceptable for me to agree to it. All that I spoke to gave incredibly insightful advice and noted how it was a unique situation due to the duality of playing both Kezzie and Josiah, who can hear. Because of this they supported taking on the role, and continued to offer help and advice while we were in pre-production and during filming. One of the pieces of advice was to have a deaf adviser on set and that’s how we got Bea involved!That says so much about your character as a human, Paul. Many, I imagine would be so over the moon with their first job, on this huge hit TV show, yet, here you are concerned about others and going to them to confer.Your generation is wise and compassionate, it’s heartwarming to hear.
When your casting announcement was made public by Starz, you had already begun filming, what was that “HERE COMES PAUL TO THE MASSES” experience like for you?It was bewildering! I don’t think anyone can get used to the fact that people you’ve never met in countries you’ve never been to suddenly know who you are! When the announcement came I was welcomed with such warmth and love from the Outlander community, it felt like joining a big family.
The rest of cast all have experience with the fandom so, they must be helpful with navigating those waters? The cast were extremely helpful in offering advice about this new world I was about to step into. Caitlin in particular was someone I’d constantly go to seeking guidance, as we both have had similar journeys in terms of Outlander being our first jobs. She had gone through this herself and knew exactly what to advise me on. She’s been incredible and I owe her a great deal.
Fan engagement can be tricky sometimes…Like I said before, I have been incredibly fortunate that the vast majority of the fans I’ve been contacted by have all been supportive and welcoming and seemed to have really enjoyed the work we made on the fifth season. I try not to engage too much on social media as you don’t want too many opinions trying to shape your performance, but the backing we’ve had in the past year really spurs us on as actors to give the most honest and sensitive performances possible.
I imagine there are ways that are easier to digest the opinions or critiques of fans, as well. Of course, as actors and artists we welcome criticism, as it helps us to improve our craft and the work that we do, but if viewers did take issue with how a storyline or scene was filmed or executed, the way to do so would to be constructive and in a helpful and supportive manner. This will usually be listened to and taken in positively by those that see it and will be welcomed as affirmative motivation for when they next go to work.
In my, oh so, humble opinion, my job as a fan is to support and enjoy the work you do. You are the professionals after all. There is so much preparation that goes into the whole production. As you mentioned earlier, Bea helped with yours. I’m interested to hear about the groundwork you laid out while forming both Josiah and Kezzie as individualsand how Bea and others helped you with that. Knowing that the show’s storylines are based heavily on the books I thought by reading Josiah and Kezzie’s storyline in “The Fiery Cross” and “A Breath of Snow and Ashes” would be a key source to draw on for the performances. What is so good about the Outlander books, as an actor, is that Diana Gabaldon writes such detailed background stories, so you don’t have to join the dots as much, all the information is there! When it came to the actual performances, I wanted to focus on the features that distinguish the two boys while also finding similarities between them, as they continue to get mistaken for each other by other characters.
Key areas to focus on were differences in attitudes, body language, speech and the skills that each of the boys possess. Josiah is a skilled hunter it was important to think about his posture, while his keenness to prove his worth to the Ridge would show in his focus and his conscientiousness towards certain tasks. As I’m most definitely no hunter myself, it was useful to research hunting methods of the time and tools that Josiah might use, they would then have a lasting effect on Josiah’s body language and were good focus points.
For Kezzie, I focused on his more compassionate nature (looking after the barn cats), so he would have a softer touch to his posture, a willingness to smile more and because he relies much more heavily on his other senses to survive he may run his eyes over objects and people more frequently than others would, in order to gain the information required to assess a situation. To work on Kezzie’s deafness we wanted to approach it with sensitivity and accuracy in order to give the most honest representation of the character as possible. To do so, I interviewed some of my friends on the BA Performance BSL & English course at RCS to hear their own personal accounts and how they might intertwine with Kezzie’s, along with contacting local deaf support groups within Glasgow. What was also important was to try and have someone on set who could advise and monitor my behaviour as Kezzie during filming, so we managed to get Bea Webster, who is an actor herself and graduated from the BSL course at RCS, to be our deaf advisor on set. Bea and Carol-Ann Crawford, our dialect coach on Outlander, worked with me to shape Kezzie’s speech and also helped develop “home signs”, (as ASL/BSL were in its infancy stages during the late 17th century), in order to help the boys communicate with each other. The Outlander team and our directors were again very supportive of this and were happy to assist in helping us be as authentic as possible.
I am always impressed at how Outlander seems to take those extra steps to assist the actors in their process. It something we can easily take for granted because it makes your performance so flawless.
We have fans that know the (book) story arc of Josiah and Keziah, yet there are TV viewers that willhave no idea.You mentioned you’ve read “A Breath of Snow and Ashes” (the next book, and what Season 6 will eventually be based on) We all know not every storyline makes it into the show but on a scale of 1-10, how much would you like to see some version of the Josiah/Kezzie story arc in season 6? Oh most definitely a 9 or 10! Such a key aspect of the boys’ personalities is their relationship with Lizzie as it sparks a growth in their maturity as characters, she helps ground them in their new reality and also, they find a sense of peace at the conclusion of their storyline that almost feels needed after the years of servitude and pain they have lived through. So to see the boys storyline realized from the books would be an incredible way to add to their journeys.
I couldn’t agree more. I think it would be epic to see that come to life on screen, you and Caitlin would absolutely slay!I am one of those fans that see the way you and your costars interact on SM and BTS. You seem to have this true camaraderie. What do you attribute that to? I think it’s down to the fact that everyone on set, from crew to actors to directors, are just so incredibly sound and also committed to making everyone feel at home and welcome. It’s a perfect duality between everyone being dedicated to the work at hand and also completely up for a laugh and a joke, which is so important on those late-night shoots. Everyone is also totally respectful of each other’s work and will put in the time and effort to support each other which brought us closer as an ensemble.
Speaking of that ensemble, let’s play a game. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when I say the names of these castmates –
Caitlin O’Ryan (Lizzie) An absolute hero, I learn from her every day whether it be about acting or something new I never knew about the world. Also, she’s extremely and undeniably cool.
Best way to get in on her banter, listen to She’s A Rec
César Domboy (Fergus) So charming and courteous and also effortlessly cool, even when we’ve wrapped after a long day of shooting he still looks like he’s stepped off a fashion show it’s incredible.
Kyle Rees (JQM)An utter legend, such a grounded and down-to-earth guy, so easy to talk to, always up for a laugh, and always brings a smile to everyone’s face. Never met a man so passionate about rugby.
Richard Rankin (Roger) King of the wind-up and the odd banter, but also very considerate to those around him, he’s a cracking actor and I think his work this season particularly is exemplary and excellent.
Scenes for Survival was a brilliant way to support Scottish Theatre during this pandemic. If you haven’t watched, I encourage you to check out the whole series of shorts.
Sophie Skelton (Brianna) Such a genial and thoughtful person, super bright and a pleasure to be around! Also incredibly sophisticated and cool like many in the cast.
SamHeughan (Jamie) A true leader, constantly boosts the morale of everyone on set and makes everyone feel valued and seen, he’s both selfless and giving as an actor. Also always up for a laugh and loves his rugby.
Caitriona Balfe (Claire)As intelligent, perceptive and intuitive as an actor as she is a person, it’s really inspiring to see her work and command a space with such presence, learnt a great deal from her.
Speaking of Caitriona, the last episode of season 5, Never My Love, was a very heavy episode. You were involved in what has gone down as an epic scene, the rescue of Claire, the killing of her captors and those who raped her. I am really interested in what it took to hold up those scenes…from your perspective. As an actor entering those scenes, what was vital was supporting our fellow cast members. Like our own characters main objectives in protecting Claire, it was our duty as ensemble members to support Caitriona and treating the setting and nature of the scenes with the sensitivity and care that is necessary. The energy, focus and emotional toll required for Caitriona to engage with the experiences that Claire goes through would be extensive and imposing, and it was our job as cast and crew to make the environment and atmosphere as comfortable and safe as possible in order to help Caitriona. And to see Caitriona at work, like that?I thought her performance throughout this season was stunning, but especially in those final episodes her attention to detail and vulnerability she showed as an actor was both heart-wrenching and exemplary, and to see the way she conducted herself professionally and considerately on set should be commended, it was inspiring to see as a young actor.
I appreciate you giving us such a wonderful visual. I am sure you have many but I am going to put you on the spot and ask you what your most memorable time on set was…thus far anyway.Honestly got so many! I think probably the Fiery Cross scene from the first episode, it was amazing seeing all the cast assembled for one scene, and there were so many people involved in the process of making and shooting it, I’d never seen anything like it in my life! Also, the fact it was a night shoot and we were going until 6 in the morning, there was a great sense of camaraderie and also delirium from the tiredness so we had a laugh and amazing time with the cast and crew.
It was enjoyable to watch as well! Outlander is your first TV role, but not your first role. You star in a short film called ‘Tooth’ that will be releasing, hopefully soon. You worked on that film while still in school.How do you feel you have grown as an actor from then until now? So much! Especially in that 3rd year at drama school, you mature and grow rapidly as an actor and a person as you are introduced to the industry. Outlander has been a great catalyst in helping me develop further as an actor. It has allowed me the opportunity to hone my screen acting skills, taught me the process (and my place in that process) of being a part of a television show and also bestowed on me stamina and durability to survive those long shoots (napping is key). It has introduced me to a world I had only known of on my screen, and to see how it works I now have a deeper and more insightful understanding of my industry.
All you have to do is look at this Instagram post. First, this smile – I mean…and then his words. The gratitude he expresses for those he works with and the credit he bestows upon them for assisting him with his brilliant performances is a credit to his character.
I don’t think it is possible to be “OUTlandered” but I have asked LOTS of Outlander stuff and of course there is so much more to you.I know the fans will love getting to know you more as I have, let’s talk about some other things that interest you…
Some actors describe themselves as introverts, finding acting helps bring out certain parts of their personality they want to tune into more. Would you fall into the introvert or extrovert corner?I’d probably describe myself as a bit of both or neither haha. I love to be around others but also equally enjoy spending time on my own.How do you think your personality influences your work? I think personality has a direct effect on your job, whatever your profession may be. In acting it can come across in the parts that you play but more than anything else it can show in the way you work. I strive to be a supportive and empathetic person and I hope that is apparent in my approach to acting through ensemble work and being there for others. It sounds so simple and basic to say, but being approachable, attentive and respectful are so key in this industry and encourages others to want to work with you, like any job! If I am these things I do not know, but I always strive to be.
With you starting your career with this mindset, I have this not so crazy feeling your career will be fulfilling. Who would you say has inspired you the most in your life? I have been incredibly lucky throughout my life to have had many people to look up to and continuously motivate me; my Mum, Dad and sister especially have been a constant inspiring force that have shaped me into the person I am today. The way they approach their work, the way they conduct their relationships with other people and how they always put others before themselves is a continuous motivator for how I lead my life, I’m incredibly grateful to have them.
I am sure they are proud of you.It is a blessing when you have a foundation of love and support.You have many of years ahead of you, what kind of projects would you like to work on in the future? Oh anything and everything! I’m at the stage in my career where I’d love to do a variety of different projects of an array of subject matters; hopefully those that are bold, thought-provoking and inspire change, but I’m grateful to just be working and doing what I love. I have a massive yearning to go back to theatre, especially as I haven’t been involved in a project on stage since late 2018, so to be part of a theatre production again would be incredible.
There are so many talented people in the industry, do you have any that are on a ‘dream’ list to work with?Honestly the list is so long, I have so many artists I admire. If I had to choose a director, it would be Danny Boyle(Trainspotting, Slumdog Millionaire, 28 Days Later, Yesterday, to name a few). He’s an exceptionally unique filmmaker who makes such visceral, layered and entertaining pieces and the narratives within his films always have such a great collection of characters, also the soundtracks as well for each of his movies are always stunning.
With your background in theatre and your love of all things creative, that would be a great fit. I would love to see you in something Danny Boyle creates.SinceI’ve shared the informations that you can sing, if you could do a biopic of a musician – who would you choose? Ahhh that is very kind of you to say but I assure you I’m no singer! However, if I were lucky enough to be in a biopic about a musician, I would love to be involved in a film about Frank Sinatra. He’s had such a prolific career but also steeped in controversy in terms of his political ties and his alleged dealings with organised crime, it would make for a great character study.
I was thinking something in the punk world and he goes and throws Frank Sinatra out for the win.
Like many Scottish actors, Paul has a versatile CV, 13 theatre productions under his belt, radio, film and of course, now television, he is becoming the total package.
If you follow Paul on twitter or Instagram, you will see quickly that he is passionate about social justice and also has a very creative eye.
It is easy to see you are drawn to things that move you. What would say your favourite creative outlet is?(Movies, theatre, music, TV)Oh, if I’m honest I don’t think I could pick a favourite! They all seem to affect me in different ways and can suit any mood or feeling I’m having. I can find myself listening to a song or album on repeat, diving into the world of a tv series or film or be in awe of some theatre magic I see on stage. I’m gonna be so boring and say all of them cause I can’t pick one.
That isn’t boring at all, I like when people are honest and don’t make up something. To be honest, I am the same way. I can’t pick favourites for the life of me, I have no idea why I put people on the spot like that. Note taken 😂 The world has changed a lot since filming stopped on Outlander, what have you been doing to keep it together? Any ideas to help me out…It has been a difficult time for everyone, and I’m not sure if I would have any new advice, but I would suggest focus on doing things that make you happy, and especially those things you always put off! I’ve been reading books I’ve always meant to read, learning songs on guitar I’ve always wanted to learn, simple and easy things that are manageable and doable but I’ve always put off as I’ve pushed other tasks to the forefront. I also recommend downloading the app “Duolingo”, it’s free and makes learning a language super-easy, I’m currently making my way up the Norwegian course and about to begin my Gaelic one (a must for any Outlander fan). Simple, easy and manageable goals to get you through the day and also encourages you to learn and try something new!
I know thatsome reading are going to be thinking “Paul is too good to be true!” So let’s give them a kick rocks moment *smile*. Give me three things you miss most from our pre-covid life.
The cinema. I would try and go as much as I can to see everything and anything. Though saying that, they have started opening up again and I managed to catch our Colonel Fraser be the bad-guy in ‘Bloodshot’, he was terrifyingly good (as always).
Greggs. It’s like a bakery chain in the UK, but has a special place in Scotland’s heart. They do everything from sausage rolls to baguettes to pancakes, literally everything. But again they’re starting to open up, so I’m able to pick-up my empire biscuits nae problem.
The pub. I’m not even a massive drinker, but the experience and ease of meeting up with a few mates in town and going to the pub and having a laugh was missed a lot during these last few months. Will never take it for granted again.
That is exactly it, isn’t it? Not taking things for granted, you are right. I am sure you could give me a list a mile long, I know I have one,but how about you give me three. Three things you have come to be more grateful for during this difficult time?
Family and Friends. They’ve kept me sane and smiling throughout this entire time, I’m extremely lucky to have them in my life.
My cats. Ask anyone who knows me well and they’ll mention how his cats basically make up his whole personality. Cats in general are just the funniest, most entertaining and beautiful creatures on the planet. Sorry dog lovers.
The NHS. I’ve fortunately been lucky not to need their services recently, but the work they have been doing this year, the years before and the years to come is exemplary and beyond inspiring. We are incredibly lucky to have them.
The cats answer may gain you a whole new following within this fandom and there may be many questions about them in the future. Consider yourself warned. *laugh*.
I know theatre has a special place in your heart and it has been hit particularly hard…The pandemic has brought a wide range of difficulties to the way we all live our lives, and industries around the world have been devastated by it. The entertainment industry has been severely affected by it, as it mainly survives on revenue generated by ticket sales for its performances and the way in which the virus spreads, is of course, halting theatres re-opening.
What can we do to support the theatre industry right now? While theatres remain shut, a way in which you can help them out is if you have a penny to spare, donate to the variety of funds that have been set up by theatres and local charity organisations supporting local arts funding. It is key to support the regional/local theatres across the country, as they have been the hardest hit throughout this pandemic. Understandably, if money is an issue, continue to engage with theatres online on social media and various campaigns they are running and advocating for. Knowing they have your support and your voice can go a long way in shifting governments attention to helping them out!
And one final thing, once theatres do begin opening up and you’re not shielding or suffering from any health issues, I implore you to get out there and see some theatre! Treat yourself to a musical you always fancied seeing, or a Shakespeare or a new up and coming playwright or theatre company! You’ll be giving yourself a well-deserved night-out and also committing to keeping this wonderful industry afloat and inspiring the artists of tomorrow.
Theatre companies are struggling all over the world and the arts are so important to our young people, all you have suggested is worth our attention.
I know I have been spending some time binging shows, Outlander just got the season 1-5 treatment, again. I don’t have a problem. What is the last show you binged? I’m currently watching and binging the show “I May Destroy You” on BBC iPlayer. It is incredible, bold, informative, unsettling yet still manages to be hilarious and superbly acted by all involved! I think it might be on HBO across the pond? Whatever you can get it on, get it watched!
Puzzle is the only one I hadn’t heard of. I popped it on and it has a great mix of heady lyrics and grittiness. I’m not too old for that. I do find much of who we are is developed in our teens, I often think of the advice I would give my teenself if I could. If you could go back and give ‘teen Paul’ advice or words of encouragement, what would you say?Don’t hold back, try everything and anything. Even ABBA.
I’m just going to put that in my pocket and use it now, cuz I might be running out of time.
It is obvious you are intune with the inner workings of ‘Paul’, so I am going to ask you to give yourself a tagline, a warning label and a theme song.
TAGLINE: With great enthusiasm comes a great number of exclamation points.
WARNING LABELFor best results, add Fanta.
Paul’s Theme Song is Feeder, imagine it playing whenever you see him.
Your kind heart and authenticity shine through in your words and in your performance as Josiah and Kezzie – I want you to know, even if my opinion might not matter in the big scheme of things – I believe you have found your calling – not only for you but those that are blessed enough to find themselves in your circle. Thank you for being exactly who you are. Thank you so so much and once again thank you for allowing me to be a part of this project, it was an absolute pleasure answering your thoughtful questions. It is such a lovely service you are doing for the fans and you and your work are greatly appreciated!!!
It is kind of fantastic when you can say “What you see…it what you get”. This has been my experience with each member of the cast I‘ve had the pleasure to interview or meet. It’s my opinion the casting department has a great deal to do with that. Like attracts like and all that smart stuff.
It was such a nice escape from my Droughtlander to get to know Paul and I hope you can say the time you spent with us today, did the same for you.From this video – I can say underneath the wig and gnarly looking collar, that’s Paul.Gracious, courteous, humble and kind.
From his answers in his interview here, to my follow up conversations and this W Network video – THIS is Paul
I know you have a successful career ahead of you, as for Outlander fans, once you are loved by us, you are on the radar and will be supported by us, always.Thank you so much once again Sherry it was an absolute privilege!
No matter how fans may feel about Outlander’s Laoghaire, we all can agree Nell Hudson’s performance added level of vulnerability to her. It wasn’t until she put her stamp on this often debated character, that many started to soften with an empathy for her. I was one of those people. For me, it turned me into a fan of the actress who gave me a new perspective of a character I thought I knew. I’d been reading about her for 20 plus years afterall. I started following Nell’s career and her social media, as one does in this world of interwebbing.
Needless to say, when Nell said she thought #TheLOVELANDERProject was a ‘lovely endeavour’ and she would happy to be a part of it, I was thrilled. (Since this isn’t about me, I will stop babbling to bring you the very bright and brilliant Nell)
Imagine, a blonde haired blue eyed wisp of a lass, enjoying picnics, riding her bike and swimming in rivers. A farm in the Midlands of England is where she called home. An incredibly idyllic childhood Nell tells me. Until, of course, she becomes a teenager.“Then I longed for excitement and couldn’t wait to get off the farm. Now, of course, I love going back.”
Nell, came into Outlander fans lives as the living breathing,Loaghaire MacKenzie, she even jokingly calls her Leghair, as many fans have been known to. This is an example of Nell’s own great sense of humour. It’s always interesting to get a better look from the person ‘playing’ the character…“Laoghaire is what happens when a broken heart never heals. Like all good villains, she’s a fallen angel. She didn’t start out bad, but circumstance has made it so.”
I wrote a blog on the Women of Outlander and there were fans that did identify with Loaghaire. I know that some think she is just horrible but I understand her. I certainly feel sorrier for her than dislike her.“Hmm…I feel sorry for Laoghaire too! A big part of playing her for me was the back-story of her not having a mother. I think this is the hole in the soul she tries to fill with love for Jamie. It’s deeply sad, when you think about it. As for me, I like to think I know a lost cause when I see one….“
That incredible insight should make it obvious thatNell is so much more than the time she spent on Outlander. I am sure you will see that as we go. I did ask her to recall some of her treasured memories from her time with on the show. “I remember going to the pub in Glasgow with all of the Season One cast (Cat, Sam, Duncan, Gary Lewis, Graham McTavish, Lotte Verbeek) and thinking “wow, I’ll never forget this!”. On Series Two I made great friends with the actor James Parris, who played Young Simon, and had so much fun hanging with him – we’re still good friends! And then Lauren Lyle came into my life and I’ll always love her. Then Sophie, oh my lord, she’s fab. Love her, too.“
As far as Lauren Lyle is concerned, the feeling is mutual. I was lucky enough to be included on a zoom party with her in June and asked her what her thoughts on Nell were. Lauren’s face softened, you know how I mean, when you talk of someone you absolutely adore. She fondly recalled her first days on set and how Nell truly took her under her wing. Lauren sticking to her like glue with her ‘show Ma’ gently guiding her along and making her feel safe and welcome.
As much as your acting, those real life connections do come through in your art. From what I have read about you, you chose to become an actress quite young, were you one of those little girls with the flair for putting on the show? “In hindsight, yes. I was constantly making my siblings act in little plays I’d written, with me – with me as the lead, of course!“
Of course, you are a natural leading lady! When did you officially transition from acting at home to making it your profession “It wasn’t until everyone was going off to university that I decided to pursue acting seriously. I had to give it a shot as there was nothing else I loved quite so much.” I think that takes a lot of courage. What advice would you give a girl, like yourself, who is off to start her life with a dream like yours?“To a young girl starting a career in the arts I would say work your butt off, it’s tough out there, and humility will get you nowhere. Be loud and your own biggest cheerleader.“
You have played many interesting roles since Outlander. One of them, Nancy Skerrett in Victoria. People LOVED Nancy, some didn’t even recognise you as the same person. They just couldn’t fathom how Nancy could be played by the same person who played Laoghaire. That is acting folks. Amazing, on the spot, damn fine ‘Nell’ acting!
Speaking of which, Nancy Skerrett’s life came to a tragic end. My heart – like many others, broke. Your death scene was just so incredibly SAD. “It was my first on-screen death! It was incredibly emotional for me, too. After playing Nancy for three years I had really fallen in love with her. It was, as you say, heartbreaking that she had to die just when she’d got her happy ending. I just had to be incredibly present in the moment for that scene – if I thought about it to much I might not have kept it together.“
But you did. I’m still mad at them for doing it. I had a long list of people thatshould have died over you. PFT! Anyway…If you could give Nancy Skerrett an alternative ending, what would it be?“That she and Francatelli lived happily ever after and had a ton of babies!”
That would have been lovely and I really would have watched ALL of that. We still do get to watch you outside of Outlander. In the Informer, Charlotte is a modern role, I loved it but it was a bit different seeing you in modern attire- acting.“It’s definitely less of a leap playing a modern part as you speak the same language. But period pieces are the opportunity to connect with humanity, whatever era people lived in the human experience remains the same.”
I can imagine as an actor with such a wide range, you would have people you would love to work with…who is on your list?“Oooh….I would love to work with (British Director) Mike Leigh, he really immerses his actors in their roles. Joanna Hogg is incredible. Lena Waithe. Taika Waititi. There are so many!“
With your versatile talent, I’d love to see you in one so, if you could choose a bio-pic to star in, who would you choose to play?“I’d bloody love to do a music biopic as it would be so fun to play a singer. I love singing and did it professionally for a while but was too stage-shy to perform as myself – so I could do it if I was pretending to be someone else! I always got told I look like Joni Mitchell growing up, and I love her music, so maybe her. Debbie Harry would be incredible, too.”
YES! Joni Mitchell is Canadian so ummm. Yeah. And Debbie Harry (Blondie) bc dang, look at you! Plus you cansing, Imma start 2 petitions. #NellForJoni#NellForDebbie
Nell doesn’t have to say many words for you to realize, she is a writer at heart. The way she answers the questions have a melody.
It shouldn’t be a big surprise to us that you have recently finished writing your own novel.“I have indeed! I’m really excited about it. It’s early days but I’m hoping to get it published. I come from a line of writers: my grandfather was Cyril Connolly (a noted critic and author of his day) and my Mum is Cressida Connolly, a best-selling fiction writer.”
That certainly shows it not only runs in the family but that the talent extends as the generations go on. Do you have an interest in writing other creative ventures?“Absolutely. I have a few script projects saved on my laptop. I’m concentrating on the novel, for now, but I would love to develop some screen work over time.”
What is about writing, that you are attracted to, do you think?“Writing for me is in many ways the antithesis to acting – I’m the one in charge for once! It’s complete escapism. If I feel like inhabiting a certain world I just write about it and I’m there. I think creativity is an energy and it has to come out somehow – for me it can be writing, writing songs, acting, drawing (badly), dancing…anything ! I couldn’t live without creative flow.“
I identify with this on a very deep level. Escapism is something I need – it is a part of my mental wellness, my therapy. You have been very honest with your own mental health and wellness. You share on your IG openly your struggles and victories. I find it incredibly encouraging for public figures, especially young women such as yourself having the courage to speak up about such personal issues. “Thank you so much for your support. It’s scary sharing that stuff because a small part of me knows that it could put off potential employers. And then I think, screw that. I’ve NEVER let my mental health affect my work, ever. And if someone judged me for talking about it then I might not want to work with them. I went through a period of depression in my early twenties and took medication for it, and I have anxiety, too. I don’t take any medication anymore, but it definitely helped me at the time. I’ve battled disordered eating in the past, too, which I think is important to talk about as I know so many actresses, and women, who have been through it. These days I’ve found that yoga and meditation, as well as a great support system of friends and family, are all I need. But emotions are like the weather, sometimes it’s grey, but it will pass.“
I always wish I could go back and kick myself in the ass to listen to my inner voice, earlier than I did. If you could give “little Nell” some advice, what would it be?“Awww this question is so moving, always. I would say speak to a doctor – would have saved a lot of time if I’d gone sooner. I would have said baby girl just DO.NOT.BOTHER. with the eating disorder. Please listen to me it’s a huge waste of time. And I would have said you will be ok, I love you.“
I do wish we all could learn to love ourselves fully earlier in our lives. Much like we allow pets to love us, like your pup, Maggie – who might have the BEST ears on Instagram.“Haha aw, thank you, I’ll pass that on to her. I found her on a farm in Abergavenny, Wales. I’d always wanted a dog and it just felt like the right time to get one. She chose me. I knew I was going to call my dog Maggie, and on our first meeting I called that name to her, and she came running. So I knew it was meant to be.”
We can tell she brings you a lot of happiness. What else brings youjoy? “I sound very Goop-y but I really do love yoga. Swimming in the sea, reading a great book. My main vice is going out for supper – I love eating out and trying new restaurants. But obviously I can’t do a lot of that at the moment. At least I’m saving money.”
OK, we are talking about food now, so it’s the perfect segway for my final question. The ABOotlanders have invited you to a fancy dinner and offered you a) Moose Droppings b) Beaver Tails c) Prairie Oysters d) Taber Corn. What do you choose.I have no idea what you’re talking about but Taber Corn sounds like the safest answer.
That’s what I like about Nell the most. She is “what you see is what youget” and at the same time, not at all basic. I am very grateful she gave us a peak into her life by being gracious enough to answer my questions by being featured in the Lovelander project.
Thank you again, Nell. MUCH LOVE!
Sher xo
Set of Beaufort Castle/ Nell taking a selfie while in her trailer on the set of Outlander.
ABOotlanders w/Sherry 
